Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Caine’s blabbering was fuzzy in Pomni’s ears. The recent events are playing over and over in her mind in a painful loop. The way Jax puts up that mask, that damn mask. The way his pupils would blow out when it happened. The way his hands felt so shaky when he grabbed hers to aim that gun between his eyes. The lights from the stage hurt and Caine’s boisterous voice invaded her mind. Taking a glance back she saw Jax shuffle to what she assumed could only be the bathroom with a small stumble.

Damn this short rubbery body. Pomni couldn’t even see over the person in front of her. The cartoon physics made her hyperaware of what was touching her at all times. Even emphasized how fast her knee was bouncing from her racing mind. Something about the way Jax just moved added to the frustration. There was no boldness, he was slumped over, just no normal Jax… gusto. Anyone could tell there was something wrong.

The light brush of Ragatha’s plush hand patted Pomni’s. Her hand gripped the armrests aggressively, deep in thought, but was pulled out instantly. Pomni flinched and pulled away from the sudden touch on her arm. That nasty rubber-like skin is haunting. What did her human skin feel like again?

“Pomni, you alright?” That familiar tenderness in Ragatha’s voice was calming to Pomni but also bothered her. She was an adult, she didn’t need pity, especially from a ragdoll that pissed her off more often then she liked. She can think for herself, she doesn’t need someone to check on her all the time and monitor her.

The lack of response worried the doll. Pomni had been off ever since the losers arrived back in the circus. With a snap, they were back in the main area and Pomni was on her knees just staring at a pistol on the ground. Ragatha hastily rushed towards her, unaware of what had happened, but worried nonetheless. Only for the fact that she had been with Jax for longer than she could ever wish for someone and that the time spent with Jax was plastered on her face in a disheveled expression. The redhead squatted to the jester's level reaching out and making eye contact for a brief moment before the jester turned and swatted the hand. Getting up she wandered off to who knows where. Ragatha could only sit as Pomni once was, left to her own devices to consider what she had done wrong.

“Do you mind if we go back to your place when this is over?” Ragatha was taken aback by the sudden ask. Pomni just gave her the hardest cold shoulder and now she wanted to go back to her room after? What could it hurt? Just two gals chatting it up over tea and muffins… she did have muffins right? Ragatha went through her mental checklist. Snacks? Yes, tea? Yes,- “I mean we don’t have to I just-” Ragatha noticed the jester’s hands circling each other in the fidgety rub. “No!” Ragatha snapped back to reality, leaving her preparation thoughts behind. Her nervous smile was plastered on her face again.“That sounds great Pomni. Let’s go back to my place! I have tea!”

The halls of the theater were longer than Pomni remembered coming in. Each step felt like a mile. The farther she walked the more tired she felt, which didn’t make sense in this digital realm. Sleep wasn’t needed. Of course, you could rest but it only made a little bit of a difference. Everyone went to their respective rooms at night and put their head on a pillow but it didn’t change the fact that there was no need for slumber. The stretch was quiet besides Zooble blabbering on about something and Gangle attempting to carry them back to their room. How did they even find that stupid sauce? Ragatha was tense seeing the purple substance again. She said things that were a little too truthful that day. If she could erase it from her plush mind she would. Kinger was in front talking to… an imaginary person about how great the show was, and Ragatha was deep in thought next to Pomni.

Waving goodnight to the ribbon and the geometric, Ragatha opened her door for the jester. “Welcome to my humble abode!” The room was large, everything looked so… Ragatha. The walls were a soft blue and a beautiful button chandelier hung from the ceiling. Her bed had a lace-trimmed comforter with a collection of rag dolls on top. Ironically enough the dolls all resembled everyone in the circus, a few Pomni only recognized with a big red X across their faces sat on a shelf next to her bed. A small workbench sat in the corner. The whole thing was covered in all kinds of crafting materials. In the center was a jester doll still missing a hat but the red and blue fabric was strewn about showing the work in progress. Ragatha had noticed Pomni’s eyes locked onto the project. Rushing to the table she nonchalantly leaned against it. “It’s nothing Pomni, I'm sorry it’s so weird, I’ll throw it out!” Hastily gathering everything on the desk and shoving it toward a small trash bin before Pomni spoke up. “No, it’s ok! I think it’s… charming.” Pomni reached around the rag doll to her mini copy and lightly handled it. The details were beyond something Pomni thought was possible in this digital hell. The small things always looked pixilated and often cheap but the stitches were in high resolution. Caine must have really made sure that her crafting materials were of good quality. The jester brushed the small puffy outfit's shoulder with her thumb, slightly smiling. “I like it Rags, I think you perfectly captured my dumb pinwheel eyes.” A small chuckle escaped them both. “I still can’t believe we look so silly. I mean who decided on this terrible color scheme?” Pomni gestured to her puffy pants with her comically gloved hand. Ragatha smiled and rolled her eyes. “At least you don't have to sew yourself up now and then.” Her arm now raised to show her seam-busted elbow. “Speaking of! I'm gonna stitch this while we chat because the last thing I want to do is lose stuffing in my bed again.” Pomni watched as Ragatha dug in her drawer pulling a spool of tan thread and a large needle. “Why don't you have a seat at the table and enjoy some tea? There are some snacks over there too. Help yourself to whatever you like! Caine keeps me stocked up so take advantage of it.” Tea actually sounded very appetizing right about now.

Pomni thanks her with a small nod and leans toward some pixelated cookie. A small cautious bite was taken as Pomni watched Ragatha gracefully thread her needle and start to stitch away at her own busted seam. Pomni wondered if Ragatha could feel the needle. Her body was pretty easy to feel things. Assuming Ragatha couldn’t feel anything because she didn’t flinch when the needle entered her plush arm. Her eyes shot up from where she sat when the jester made a sudden movement to catch a crumb that tumbled from her rubber-like lips. “Don’t worry about it Pomni, it will disappear in a little while.” She dismissively waved her hand and continued on her arm.

“So, about the other day?” Pomni wanted to get to know Ragatha better because she damn sure didn’t want to go first. The last thing she wanted to do was spill her guts to Mrs sunshine and Rainbows and ruin the whole mood that fast. A small feeling that this would end up ruining the mood quicker than she would. Ragatha stiffened at the implication pausing mid-stitch. “If this is about the dug out, I'm sorry.” She stared again at her stitch but her brows were more furrowed than they were before. “Listen, I'm just trying to protect you from what is making me want to do it in the first place.” Those words were confusing to Pomni’s mind after such a long day but she thinks she knew what the something was. Jax. “I know I’ve said it before, but I don't need to be protected.” How could she say ‘I’m not a child in need of protecting’ without sounding like an ass? “And Jax really isn’t…” Pomni stopped. Jax wasn’t that bad until about three hours ago or what she assumed was three hours, this place is hard to have any idea of time in. “I think I need to just talk to him.” That’s the problem does she respect his wishes and stay away from him and ‘stop looking’ or does she dig until she breaks him open or have him just flat out break.

“Pomni” Ragatha had this look on her face that the jester could only describe as painful sorrow. “I want to protect you because Jax has this effect.” She sucked in a shaky breath “I’ve tried this before, I’ve tried to fix him, I want to help everyone but he’s especially… difficult.” Oh, she knows that. Pomni could see Ragatha’s one non-button eye gloss over a little. “He has had some issues in the past that I’ve done all I can do to get through to him and show him that it’s ok to be sad and vulnerable but he refuses.” Ragatha ties her last stitch with a loop and a hard yank. Pomni shifted and sipped her tea trying not to make eye contact with the doll. “I just kick myself for not being good enough. If I could just be a safe place for him that would be enough. I want nothing more than him being ok with me, to just listen to me.” Now she was wiping tears from her eye. Ragatha means well but life just doesn’t work in her favor. As of right now Pomni thinks that they are all pretty unlucky for just being here. “Jax used to listen to me, he would put his head in my lap and let me just talk to him! I miss that version of Jax! The one that cares. Now he’s just-” she was getting so worked up all of a sudden. It was the typical Ragatha burst that she would thrash her arm and pout. “Just a big annoying jerk!” Still no curse though, that was expected.

Pomni furrowed her brows. She wanted to pat Ragatha on the back and tell her it was ok but she just dropped a bomb and didn’t know it. Jax used to confide in Ragatha? The huge purple bunny that could give a shit less if you abstracted tomorrow used to lay in her lap and tell her his worries. Impossible. She must be hallucinating. That’s not the Jax that Pomni knows. The one she knows would scoff and put dynamite in your pillow if you even thought about that happening. The ragdoll huffed and straightened up her dress trying to gain her composure again. “Did you say Jax used to actually have some kind of compassion? I think you have the wrong rabbit.” Pomni laughed a little actually, the whole idea was just insane to her. It took every neuron in her mind to even imagine that happening. “Pomni you never got to meet the real Jax. He used to actually be so charming. He would love all the adventures Caine would send us on. He would laugh and just fill a room with such warmth. That was until after the incident that he began to act like he does now.” She reminisced about the old Jax. “He was still a twerp. Him and Ribbit would still put centipedes in my room and tie gangle to things but in the end, us three were inseparable. We were the youngest and newest in the circus so it was expected. Ribbit and I had a great relationship then Jax showed up and we all just grew so close. Siblings even.” Ragatha laughed a little actually. The memories of the trio running down the halls together and acting like they were teens. It was hard for the jester to imagine. The hellacopter mom, the asshole, and the abstract together and happy in this hell sounded impossible, not something she could ever see. Especially because none of those people exist anymore.

Pomni brushed Ragatha’s hand that gripped the hem of her dress. Pomni hated touch here with this horrid skin but Ragatha needed the grounding right now. The doll's eyes connected to the sympathetic look on Pomni’s face. “Let’s start by me apologizing,” Pomni started. “I should not have pushed you so hard in that dugout. Thank you for looking out for me. I'm assuming whatever happened to Ribbit has something to do with your protectiveness, but no matter what you will never push me away, even when you don’t want to team up with me.” Pomni chuckled giving the ragdoll a hard time. “I know you mean well and I know I can come to you Rags. Please don't beat yourself up over me.” Her rubber-like hand was still on the plush one. Ragatha knew that she was being raw with her. She was showing genuine kindness and feelings.

“Do you want to share about today. You don't have to tell me everything. I'm just worried that Jax hurt you.” It took Pomni a moment to collect her thoughts. Hurt me? Physically or mentally? Where to start, the hall convo? The Kinger chase? “Well after we chose teams we were actually having a blast. He was sharing info I didn't think I would ever hear, like his immense trypophobia, or that he thinks he’s the funny one out of the circus.” Pomni pulled her hand from Ragatha’s and pinched where her nose should have been. Her eyes closed in deep thought. “When we had rid of everyone I joked that one of us had to betray the other and that’s when it happened.” Pomni pulled her whimsy legs to her chest and huffed. It was small but enough to make the rag doll concerned. Her mind raced about what Jax might have done to the poor jester. This all sounded like the worst deja vu she had ever experienced. “He asked me to just shoot him. I asked if we would still be friends and then he just started gaslighting me! Calling them delusional, telling me we were never friends and that he doesn’t care about me or..” Pomni paused again. Her mind was jumbling Jax’s words. Each moment she festered on his snarky remarks the angrier she got. Her concern had turned into spite. She was now understanding that Jax was just a jerk there were no other kind words for her to call him. She was careful with the next statement because Jax explicitly said that he doesn’t care about her or anyone else which included the ragdoll in front of her. Speaking of the ragdoll she was very intently listening. “He said he doesn’t care about me or anyone else in the circus.” Ragatha started. “Pomni, I know that bothered you a lot. Thank you for telling me-“ Pomni cut her off. “Sorry, but I was about to get to the punch line” literally the punch line “then I chunked a pistol at his head and strangled him with these silly little gloves.” Ragatha was wide-eyed with a plush hand in front of her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle. “You choked him out!?” Ragatha now let a laugh out. Pomni relaxed a little hearing her chuckle, the calm of being with someone who could laugh in this shit hole was a relief. “I did, I can’t say he didn’t deserve it. The demons escaped me. I won't lie I was seeing red.” In the moment it was comical to think of Pomni wrestling the rabbit double her size but it was short-winded given the circumstances. Pomni noticed the change in Ragatha’s demeanor as she sipped her tea. Her shoulders pulled to her ears again, or where her ears should be.

It only brought back bad memories. Ragatha has been here before but Ribbit never beat Jax up. But they had gotten into an argument very similar to the one the jester was briefing her on. The not caring, the not friends. It for a fact was deja vu now. “It isn’t really my place and it’s not something I want to resurface but do you want to hear why Jax is the way he is? I hate to be a drag but I think you have the right to know.” Ragatha’s brows came together with a crease and she leaned in slightly. Something told the shorter woman that she wanted to just leave and not listen to this drab story but curiosity always won with Pomni. Curiosity was her weakness. She nodded hesitantly.

“Ribbit and Jax had gotten back from some kind of experimental adventure that Caine thought was a great idea. We were all stuck in the circus while they went on the adventure that I still don’t know about to this day. When they got back Jax had the s[BOING]t eating grin on his face. His normal weird smile block thing her does ya know?.” Ragatha exaggerated with her hands. “Ribbit rushed to their room as soon as they got back. As you know, their door is all the way at the end of the hall so we watched that frog sprint for a solid moment. I noticed the glitch first.” Ragatha reminisced and she hated it. The grimace on her face got worse by the second. Getting more uncomfortable, it wasn’t hard for Pomni not to notice. “Rags we can stop.” “No” Ragatha held up a hand to pause Pomni. “I need to get this out.” She rubbed her arm attempting to ground herself. “I tried to talk to Jax but he refused to listen. He just said they had an argument and he exploded on me. He said that he had no friends and that he wanted to watch us all suffer.” Pomni couldn’t believe the cheap ass would use the same line. For being the funny one he sure reused some phrases. “He listened a little better than I thought because he went to Ribbit’s room that night while we were all in our own quarters. I heard the shriek and jumped up. It was almost too late. ” late was an understatement. “I’d never seen such a thing, this place is messed up and all but Jax was…” Ragatha quickly blinked away a tear “Ribbit was abstracted but had ripped Jax apart. His body was a messy pile of pixels by the time he could drag himself to the hall.” Pomni was aghast. Jax had been physically hurt by his own doing and yet still decided he was going to be nuts. “Caine was quick to fix him and send Ribbit to the cellar but I thought my glitching was bad. Jax was barely even a body.” Ragatha took another deep breath. “He was screaming for anyone to help him but he was so mangled I couldn’t understand him.” The doll's hands rose to her chest level and she stared into her palms like they were going to help her come up with the words. “It was just me, Caine, and Jax that night. Everyone asked but i didn’t tell they just got a readers digest.”

“That night he sat in that corner and sobbed.” Ragatha pointed to the cozy bean bag corner with a bookshelf. “He let me comfort him but when I woke up he was gone. I found him the next day with that stupid smile on his face and he denied everything that took place. Like nothing happened. Like his best friend wasn’t gone or that he wasn’t dismantled.” The teacup in Pomni’s hand felt like it weighed a ton. The room spun. Jax wasn’t like this because he was just a jerk, he was scared. Reality rested heavily on her shoulders knowing she had exposed him earlier without even knowing it. Her own word echoed in her head. ‘You’re scared you will actually show a human emotion’ he showed human emotions and it almost got him abstracted.

“Pomni,” Ragatha pulled the jester from her trance. “I know you probably hate him right now but please understand that he is like this because he’s living in the past.” “He’s blocking out everyone to protect them from himself.” Pomni finally connected the dots. Her wide eyes quickly searched around for something that wasn’t there. Jax had been an egotistical prick because he knew he was the reason Ribbit abstracted. “I did everything to try to get him to talk to me again like he used to, but he just tells me I was imagining things.” She huffed, this time more shaken than the last “I failed him Pomni, I failed the only person I thought was a true friend. I just wanted to help.” Pomni looked Ragatha in the face for the first time since the whole Ribbit talk began. Tears soaked her plush face and her eye looked directly into Pomni’s. “Pomni, if you take anything away from this conversation. Let it be that you need to be careful with Jax, I’ve figured out you can handle yourself but please… just take care of him, he’s more fragile than he appears.” Her tea suddenly looked less appetizing now.

-

“If you ever need to talk I’m here Pomni!” The ragdoll waved to the jester as she beelined for her quarters adjacent to Ragatha’s. Returning the wave was a mistake because it was hard not to look at the big purple rabbit plastered on the door next to hers. His stupid face was mennacing.

How could a single day be so long? It felt like ages since Pomni was in her own space. The friendly reminder that she was a ‘cartoon jester’ was apparent when she opened her door to her primary color eyesore-looking room. At least she could enjoy her room more with the new update. She could actually move things around and reorganize the decor. Caine has hastily told her that since she was new, the room had to be updated more for it to get established to her liking. Now the recent master update was the real deal. They got new character options. Each room was now equipped with a closet. It was unheard of for Pomni to be able to take off this damn hat two days ago. There were a couple of stipulations though, Caine made sure to pound them in their heads because as he stated ‘freedom is great as long as you don’t disrespect my amazing, fabulous, and fantastic adventures.’ No PJs or lazy clothes outside of rooms or the tent. Outside the tent and adventures must be the default clothes. Not obeying this would result in ‘a horrible punishment’ knowing Caine it could be anything from cake in the face to being put in a massive garbage disposal. Either way, everyone in the circus agreed not to push it being that they had things to wear other than the normal drab circus attire. Everyone was lounging around the lobby area in new outfits that night after the update. It made the circus a little more normal. Well everyone except Jax. For some reason, he wore his pink overalls and opted not to trust the new clothes. The only thing is that they couldn’t pick the new outfits. Hopefully, the next update will give them more freedom for the customizations. Until then though Pomni was ok with her oversized blue tee and striped shorts. They came to her knees and were of course yellow and red. Have to satisfy that color palette no matter what she wears. Placing her hat on the dresser-like thing she had, Pomni slipped under her obnoxious comforter.

With a soft huff of air, Pomni reached for her lamp to hit the light only to be caught by the movement under her door. A small slip a motion. Pomni sprang up to grab whatever had just slid through the crack. A note stuck to a very familiar Polaroid.

“Found this in the trash. Figured you would want it.” -Ragatha, followed by a heart.

That stupid rabbit. The chaotic evil picture they had taken… was thrown in the trash like it was nothing. A bonding moment was put in the garbage like a candy wrapper. With a new determination, Pomni got back in her bed.

“I’m gonna kill that purple idiot.”

Chapter Text

The common area was quiet, Zooble leaned over toward Gangle and observed as she sketched. Pomni had never seen those sketchbooks that Gangle spends most of her time in but to Zooble they were exciting. Ragatha was busy talking to Kinger about the weather even though it doesn’t change. The look on Ragatha’s face was attentive to Kinger's rambling but you could tell she was a little concerned.

Pomni noticed the purple rabbit was bouncing his knee and fighting with a Rubik’s cube. The fight looked a little less strained because his laid-back attitude won. A lopsided smile across his face just pissed Pomni off. If she could just get her hands around his neck one more time she might be content. The other members of the circus were now taking a glance at her as she was the last one to emerge from her quarters. She had to have looked exhausted.

Ragatha was the first one to greet Pomni and wave her over to the couch. Hesitantly she moved to that side of the room. She had no problem sitting with the chess piece and the doll it was the lanky idiot she didn’t want to sit near. His attitude was the same as it was the day before. Calm, collected like they hadn’t gotten in the spat of a lifetime. The digital plush couch under her was a nice feeling. It made her want to curl up and rest her eyes again actually. Ragatha smiled at her with her felt face. “How was the rest of your night Pomni?” Her eye was full of that kindness she was used to. “It was ok, thank you by the way.” Knowing what Pomni was alluding to Ragatha set a plush hand over her own bicep. Her eye averting “It’s no biggie Pomni, I just figured you wanted it.”

Jax never looked over at her. Pomni was greeted by everyone except him. Man did that piss her off. Kinger got up and wandered to his pillow fort. It was odd. There was a silence that hung over everyone. Maybe it was the lack of Jax's imagination that made the others quiet. Zooble saw the tense jester and had figured their idea was right. After the show last night Gangle essentially carried them to their room. Zooble still off the stupid sauce had a small recollection of their conversation. Gangle was first to bring it up. She had noticed the pair being off, the way Jax hadn’t threatened to tie her in a knot and Pomni had been oddly quiet, well quieter than usual. She’d typically flash a smile or something. Gangle noted to ask Ragatha later judging that they had spent some time together last night.

“Hello my Benevolent Buckaroos!” Caine’s boisterous voice echoes in the digital landscape making the group flinch with the pop of confetti. Bubble drifted down from who knows where. The creature is wearing the typical toothy smile. Pomni had always found bubbles startling.
“Today’s adventure will be very action-packed!” Caine moved dramatically animated by his own rambling. Great just what Pomni wanted to hear, action-packed. That could be anything. “Yeah no, with that I'm out.” Zooble stood up and nodded to the masked girl.

“Zooble wait! You will like this one. It’s normal! It’s a racing adventure! Cars are going on a track! High speeds and fun with your pals ” Caine was trying his best to get Zooble to stay. And for some reason Zooble did. It was a shock to all of them but Zooble shrugged and smiled at Gangle, or what everyone considered a Zooble smile to be. Caine was overjoyed! He was known to want to please. It was Caine’s soul purpose. He was the ringmaster, the circus leader and his only duty was keeping the players from going insane. Pomni had come the the conclusion she didn’t need these dumb distractions because she was no abstraction, but they did add a little bit of relief. She was more into the chill ones but Caine barely let them do their own suggestions. Pomni wanted nothing but to lounge around in her comfy pants today but she had to get past this. She couldn’t let Jax see that she was bothered. He couldn’t win.

A snap and everyone was transported to some kind of racing pits.

The smell of grease and the sound of drills screamed around them. Caine must have worked hard on this adventure. Everything was illuminated with lights. The stands were full of cheering wooden NPCs. The best part, or maybe the worst for Pomni was their outfits. Each of them is wearing a custom fire suit. Pomni hated how the heavy fabric clung to her weird skin. They weren’t breathable at all. Absorbing all the sights and sounds of the track each of them began chatting about the suits and muttering quietly about how well Cain crafted this adventure. Making sure not to speak loud enough for him to hear and boost his ego. Kinger had a purple suit with white details very close to his normal attire. Pomni was relatively close to, both legs being different colors, and the top split down the middle also. Ragatha was light blue with her iconic patches. Zooble had all sorts of different colors and patterns on theirs and gangles that were quite literally white with red messy loops and curls. Jax had a peachy pink color with yellow details and trim.

“How are the suits?! I made sure to make them custom to each of you! Thanks to the new update I can give you guys outfits more tailored to your schemes!” It seemed that everyone was actually excited for this adventure. They just had to hope there wasn’t a typical Caine twist. Each was assigned a pit stall and a crew. Even the NPCs got suits.

Greeted by their pit crews they were also greeted with a shiny car. Each of them was obnoxiously wrapped in sponsors that Caine made up. Big numbers are plastered on the sides. Gangle’s car quite literally had Caine on the hood. Pomni noticed her number was 14, unsure where that came from. The attention to detail in this adventure was beyond them. It was immaculate. Jax was probably the most eager to get in the 57 car. Before his crew chief could show him the controls he was pushing buttons. Pomni recognized the green fellow in the upper level of her pit box. Gummigoo had a blue headset on that matched her scheme. He shot her a thumbs up and it took everything in her body to smile back. It was an uncertain smile but it was genuine. Great, of course she got Gummigoo.

Pomni recognized a little of this. The memories are blurry but her uncle used to watch stuff like this on TV when she was young. Or maybe it was her brother? Did she have a brother?

“Good luck Pomni!” Ragatha yelled to Pomni just in the pit stall behind her. The jester turned to her and waved as she watched the doll flip down her visor and cram herself in the car window with the help of a pit member.

Next thing Pomni knew she was getting a helmet on. A weird black thing strapped to her helmet made her have limited mobility in her car. Her noggin was locked to the seat. Cars were cranked after the national anthem, it went just as well as the softball anthem. Pomni was glad she was in this loud car so she didn’t have to listen to Caine yap over the loudspeakers as he made himself the announcer again.

Her hands were pouring sweat in those gloves. Not that she had never driven before, she’d just never driven something so fast. This car had way more horsepower than her Camry.

“Ladies and gentlemen it’s a beautiful night for miles of good clean racing.” Caine boomed across the stands. The track was massive. More of an oblong triangle-like shape. A bright car pulled out in front of them and led them from the pits to the track. Engines were roaring and revving loudly around Pomni. This was exciting but she was nervous nonetheless. Her breath slightly fogged her visor. Her eyes could only go so far to the side but she could make out Jax’s purple car to the left. Great use when she finally had something else on her mind that purple idiot snakes right back in. Why had he been so calm today? How could he just block her out from his world?

“Can you hear me, Sheila?” Gummigoo. Pomni scrambled to push the intercom button on her wheel. “Loud and clear.” She awkwardly giggled. “Good, good. We are here for you if you need us. It should be no problem as long as your friends don't decide to wreck us.” Oh, Pomni has an idea who would do so without mercy “We are going to give you pointers and tell you where there are cars you can’t see.”

Pomni flipped down her visor and pressed the little red button again. “Thanks, I have a feeling we have to watch for that 57 car.” Pomni knew that Jax would be a problem. Maybe he’d shy from pestering her today. In proximity, he strayed from her so heavy avoidance on the track would not surprise Pomni. Mischief was never far from him though. If he were to swerve into the entire field and wreck all of them it would be just another adventure with that idiot.
This morning was weird. He acted like the normal ass he’s always been. The only difference is that not a single glance was tossed to the jester. Not a short joke in sight.
Pomni ground her hands clutched around the wheel. The pace car dipped off down pit road and Gummigoo said something through her headset that was barely audible through her distracted haze.

Roaring engines woke Pomni enough for her to follow suit and stomp her pedal. The deafening hum of race cars covered the track. The only thing Pomni heard was gummigoo occasionally telling her that a car was near her in a certain spot. She was sure by lap ten she would be tired of hearing “quarter front.”

That she could see. Gangle was in front of her, probably the same amount of fear in her driving. The ribbons kept letting off and causing Pomni to have to do the same.

Her mind was so caught in what had happened in the last day that it was hard to pay attention to the car ahead of her. Ideas of what she could have done differently. What she could have possibly done wrong. Her chest tightened more if that was even possible. The heat in the car was definitely not helping. Pomni shouldn’t care. He damn sure didn’t care about her or her feelings. Maybe it was her stubbornness that made her want to help him. The same person who attacked him yesterday slowly emerged leaving worried and sad Pomni on turn 2.

Jax was a dick and why should Pomni concern herself with someone who didn’t care? Because she has a heart. Jax’s heart is just closed. The one on Pomni’s sleeve was torn off and stepped on yesterday but you know what. She could help herself. She will work on the rabbit but right now there was a statement to be made.

The pompous Purple bunny was coarse but the only way to get through such a thick skull was to show you are strong enough to break it.

Mario Kart can’t be much different than what is happening right now. Pomni spent hours on her switch, tackling track after track as Yoshi.

For a moment she closed her eyes and took a breath. Letting herself relax Pomni caught the apron with her driver's side tires. Gummigoo was quick in her ear. “You ok there little lady?” Light concern laced in his voice, like he knew her. Between Jax and the gummy gator, she was really tired of being emotionally attached to this place or at least what inhabited it.

“I’m great! Could you do me a favor and tell me how many laps are left?” Though she wanted to be strong and prove that she was the bigger person, shaking hands betrayed her.

“11 to the white flag.”

“Perfect.”

It was quite short compared to what Pomni remembered. These races went on for hours.

Gangle had finally dug her grave with Pomni. The slowing down and speeding up had been more than she could take at this point. So she passed. On the back stretch, Pomni took the opportunity now that they weren’t on an embankment and slipped past. No longer in the back, it felt good. Being better than someone felt good. The little bit of competitiveness filled Pomni with something she wasn’t a stranger to. Gummigoo spoke into to hear headset again. I a nice reminder of her small achievement.

Fully into the track now Pomni pushed on. Kinger had been the next victim. Slowly drafting behind, Pomni stayed close just not close enough to bump the senile man. The last thing she needed was him spinning out right in front of her.

Spoke too soon

Pomni watched those false sticker taillights swish back and forth a little too hard. She held her breath as the front of his car veered quickly into the wall. A screech and slam of fiberglass to layers of concrete and fiberglass- “yellow flag is out Pomni, watch for the pace car.” Gummigoo’s voice boomed in her ears. Maybe it was from her mind spinning or the haunting noise Kinger’s car made.

It was violent. The sound alone was horrid. Pomni hated how realistic this seemed. She hated that the king would be dead if it weren’t for the digital plot armor this place had.

“Is kinger alright? I hope I didn’t do that.” Her hands fidgeted with the rubber wheel again as she watched the flashing lights of the pace car slip in the front of the pack.

“You didn’t touch him, Sheila, I think he couldn’t take your draft. Also, he’s fine, I watched him get out of the medic truck and ask where the trophy was.” Pomni huffed a breath of relief. Normal Kinger activity so no problem there.

A few more laps and the pace car dipped off again. Game on again.

Racing this track was tiring with how long it was. Lap after lap the whole thing felt like a bad fair ride. Almost enough to make one dizzy. The hot track was slippery and required full focus from Pomni at this point. 5 to go and this was not going to end in a losing battle. Ragatha was just ahead of Pomni on the outside. Her line was unsteady but surely held. Each turn she dipped in a fashion that only confused the jester but it was working because her momentum coming out of it only pushed her further towards first place. The only thing standing between first place and Ragatha was Jax. To overcome that weird maneuver Pomni had no choice but to cut her off.

Slipping on the inside on the backstretch was easy it was maintaining that line and not letting the ragdoll dip down enough to touch the line. Slowly they entered turn three and Gummigoo gave her the coordinates of Ragatha or what she assumed was her. Jax was now on her front corner. With the little head mobility she had she looked with mostly just her eyes but saw the doll throw a thumbs up out her window. Her gloved hand was shaking with emphasis.

One thing she could see was the purple rabbit at her front bumper. The number 57 taunting her through a tinted visor. A rock nestled in her throat all over again.

Why did he have this wretched effect on her? Her mind said to ignore him for her own sanity but curiosity coursed through her veins. The dying question of why he went from telling her secrets to voiding her existence from his life. Nothing could make her understand how a simple conversation (with a touch of physical violence) could turn into him wanting nothing to do with her. God Pomni sounded like a broken record in her own brain. She knew he was scared-scared of losing someone else, of being the reason someone else falls into abstraction- but that didn’t make it hurt any less. If she had just left it alone she would never have been behind his car with tears in her eyes.

Focus, she needed a clear head. It was difficult to clear the Jax fog but somehow she let him go for just a moment. Long enough to pass him and take the front. It was a short-winded feat.

Jax had bumped her making her lose traction. The rear of the 14 swiveled slightly. Slipping to the inside Jax got parallel with her, up to not the slightest bit of good.
“Remember this is the last lap.” Gummigoo’s voice boomed in her ears right as a horrid noise shook her car. That purple 57 car ran its tire down the side of hers, shoving her against the white wall. The crunching sound of digital fiberglass against digital cement wasn’t pleasant. Letting off in response to the action, Pomni slipped back. Her car felt another shove, he body had the same reaction as when she knew Jax hit her. Thankfully she could loosen us seeing that Ragatha pushed her from behind. The extra draft gave her momentum into the second-to-last turn. Maybe this race would go down a little violently but the finish line was right there and it wasn’t long until the race would be over.

Yeah Jax was reckless but never did she anticipate the suicidal move he pulled. Pomni was already shaken up. The wall, the shove, the screeching tires came soon after. Jax had snatched his wheel in a last resort attempt to wreck her. It was hard enough to rock her car and his own. Quickly Pomni slammed her eyes shut preparing for the impact. Only to hear Jax’s tire blow with a loud rupture. His car is making an aggressive veer right. Tires screamed now that his nose was to the wall and sliding t-bone style with Pomni down the track.

“Wow folks! Looks like the heat on the track has resulted in a mess. Ragatha is the winner of the Caine Cup!” Caine’s voice was now audible and there weren’t loud engine sounds making Pomni’s ears ring.
“You alright! That was a rough crash. The tow truck will be out to pull you to the pits, just hang tight.” The jester nodded to herself. “Im alright…”

Pomni couldn’t see Jax. She saw the hit though and knew he had to be in pain. No way someone could hit at such a high rate of speed and be ok. Yeah, Caine and this weird world make it completely impossible to die but mental pain was very real. Her insides twisted with this sour anger. If someone poked the jester she would explode. The feeling wasn’t familiar; each time her chest rose something festered deep in her veins. Anger, sorrow… pity?

A thunk came from the back of her vehicle and was suddenly lifted leaving the front two tires on the ground. Pomni watched Jax’s car get smaller through her window getting towed back to the pits. She watched the wooden mannequin work diligently to put hooks on his car. That heavy feeling nested in her chest.

By the time Pomni got back to the pits Ragatha was standing on a podium with a big trophy in her arms. The lights of photographers and whistles were too much for the jester. Ragatha looked nervous, with a bead of sweat on her forehead and knees slightly buckled together. Sheepishly she smiled and answered questions to the mics pushed in her face. A bottle of champagne popped and sprayed but Pomni just watched from her car. She was happy for her friend but much bigger things weighed on her. Especially hearing the 57 get drug back in the pits.

Pomni hated confrontation. She handed it poorly, the way she felt after was another thing. Everything from the yelling to the finger-pointing. It was horrible.
But Pomni could take it just this once.

Gummigoo didn’t get the chance to get down the pit box ladder before Pomni had stomped away, her helmet hit the ground with a crunching thud. She was fired up, you could tell just by the look on her face. Jax had slowly pulled himself from the window and kept his helmet on. Visor is still blocking his eyes from the world. The jester took the opportunity while his back was turned. The totaled race car shifted from the abrupt weight of the purple fellow being pushed into it.

“Now I’d like to ask what the [BOING] that was Jax!”

Jax looked like a cornered animal. His body shifted, hands on the roofrails and trembling slightly. His ears gave away his emotions more than he’d like to admit, as they sagged through the specifically cut holes atop his helmet. The buzzing air seemed to freeze. Gangle and Zooble who were conversing next to the ribbon girl’s car now focused on the altercation. Her chest heaved with anger, this wasn’t planned but she had a moment of peace. A competitive mindset was clear from the recent events and a particular purple rabbit. For the same said rabbit to fuck it up for her. No stranger to putting her hands on him in a fighting way and nothing else, but something was different. He wanted to get away… Desperately

It wasn’t the normal Jax for a fact. AST least last time he put up a fight. He shoved back. He threw her to the ground, tossed hateful words back; though now he just let her speak.

Pomni grabbed the front of his firesuit, reaching up as high as she could. A snarl spread across the Jester’s face and she spat ugly words that she wouldn’t remember saying later. Jax pulled back snatching the fistful of firesuit from the shorter woman. Standing semi-tall with a slouch in his stance, at least taller than the jester. Pomni could only assume the motion he made after was a huff, one maybe from exhaustion but to Pomni it just irritated her more. His slouched figure took a couple of slow and dragging steps away from the fuming jester.

She leaped
Leaped onto his thin figure. A small yelp came from the rabbit as his back hit the asphalt surface and the extra weight seemed to land on top of him.

Jax had hated this. He just wanted to leave but now the pipsqueak was picking a fight. He hoped that Caine would open the portal for them to just go back to the circus tent. He was pleading in his mind. Pleading for the toothy fellow for the first time in his hellish circus life. It would be so much easier if he could do this in his room, his sanctuary.

Pomni moved faster than he could. Moving to straddle his middle. Luckily the others could only see Pomni’s back and not the poor display happening below her.

The Jester began with this exaggerated speech looking to her left instead of him directly. It would be better if she could keep her thoughts straight without eye contact. “I just don’t get it, Jax. Why do you play these games with me and they act like I'm nothing but a speck of dust!?” She watched as his helmet rolled across the pavement into her view.

“Why won't you just realize that we can’t get out of here and we have to stick together!” Pomni’s hands held onto his firesuit. Both of her hands were full of the purple and salmon colored fabric that she hated the texture of. “We care about you Jax it’s you that makes it hard to care about! You are just… Difficult!” She started to lose her angry composure. She slumped over and her hands shook just like her voice. “I’m trying to help, would you ju-” Pomni looked down at him for the first time during this altercation. His abandoned helmet that slipped off in the impact finally stopped a good 3 meters away.

Pomni’s words caught in her throat like broken glass. His eyes were so painfully tired and glossy. Normally large pupils sunk into tiny rectangles and the normal glint that she’d grown familiar with… gone.

“Get off me.” his voice was monotone, and he refused to make eye contact. In her shaken-up state, it took Pomni a minute to move off him. The familiar empty feeling in her chest slowly took its place back. It felt terrible. Jax was unrecognizable to the Jester. Nothing about him was the same. His blank stare was a horrible contrast to the normally cocky persona. In the moment all she could do was gape and move to the side. He retrieved the abandoned helmet from the ground and stuffed it back on his head. Most likely hiding his face from the others' questioning stares. The air was silent and thick between them. Each step Jax took toward wherever he planned on going felt like a step further from anything being resolved, but after that Pomni couldn’t move. She was frozen in shock. The last display of emotion from me was something but this? It was like nothing she’d ever seen in this digital hellhole. Something was telling her to follow him, to not leave him to his devices but it would end up just like it was now. Maybe worse.

*snap*

The circus surrounded them in a blink. Taking a moment to focus Pomni blinked quickly. Within the second, she registered where she was standing and whipped her head in the direction of their quarters, Jax was already walking to the hall where they all resided. His head was still low and his feet still dragging.

“What happened to Jax?” Ragatha piped up holding the trophy in her arms still. Caine let her keep it as a souvenir. Nothing about this adventure did Pomni want to remember. Ragatha followed him with her eyes until his slender figure disappeared behind the wall and looked to Pomni. The dark hair shook slowly. Her eyes told Ragatha all she needed to know for the time being. Her mother made a small ‘oh’ in realization

“Do you need to chat?” The redhead tilted her head and squinted. It was pretty clear what the answer was going to be.

The jester smiled faintly and just waved a hand as she headed to her own room.