Archive of Our Own ^beta

Pete Spankoffski had always been a pessimist. He was so used to bad things happening to him that, whenever something good happened, he had no choice but to question it. This was especially true when it came to social interactions. After all, people rarely spoke to him unless they wanted something or were making fun of him, with the exception of his friends Ruth and Richie.

So when Stephanie Lauter, one of the most popular girls at Hatchetfield High School, showed interest in him, Pete felt that he was justified in worrying that she didn’t really like him that way. He was a loser, after all. There were all kinds of reasons she would have wanted him, reasons that made more sense than her simply liking him for the person he was.

Still, Pete had to admit to himself that he didn’t want that to be the case. He really, truly liked Steph. To him, she was so much more than the mayor’s daughter. She was the most beautiful person Pete had ever met—she was gorgeous, yes, but her inner beauty outshone that fact. Pete was terrified of her coming to her senses and leaving him, no matter how inevitable it felt.

“Pete?”

“Huh?” Pete was shaken out of his thoughts by Steph’s voice. “Yeah? What’s up?”

He was laying beside Steph in her bed. After his brother’s mysterious disappearance, Pete had been staying at Steph’s house until he could figure out what to do next. Her father was out of town, so they didn’t have to worry about him for at least a few more days.

Her brow was creased with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got, like, this look on your face like something’s bothering you.”

“Oh, uh… it’s nothin’,” he said unconvincingly.

“You’re not a very good liar. You know that, right?”

He sighed. “I know.”

Steph propped herself up with one arm, looking him in the eye. “Talk to me, Pete.”

“It’s probably dumb,” Pete warned her.

“I don’t care.”

He dropped his gaze. “I just… I keep thinking about that-that day, in the showers. And I just… I feel like…” Pete paused, trying to articulate his thoughts properly. He was having trouble putting it into words. Steph didn’t say a thing, listening intently. “God, I don’t know if this is gonna come out right.”

“That’s okay. Try anyway.”

“Let me put it this way. If-If I wasn’t there, and there was someone else in the bathroom that day, would you have…?” He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Asked them to get in the shower with you? Broke them out of their cabin? Tried to help them escape? Kissed them? Liked them like you like me?

Steph seemed to get the message anyway. It always felt like she knew exactly what he was trying to say. “No,” she replied, completely nonchalant.

Pete gawked at her. That’s it? “No?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Honestly, Pete, if it was anyone else, I would have just waited for them to shower before I went in.”

“Really? It’s okay to be honest with me, Steph.”

“I am,” she insisted. “C’mon, Pete, you really think I’d lie to you?”

“No!” Maybe. If it would spare my feelings. He pushed the thought away. Steph wouldn’t do that. Maybe someone else would, but not Steph. “It’s just… I mean, it could have been any of the guys at camp. I was just at the right place at the right time.”

“That’s not how I see it. Pete, you know I liked you before that, right?”

“You did?” He stared at her in disbelief.

“Yeah, I did. I had a thing for you since I gave you that chocolate bar on that shitty ass hike. Honestly, I thought I was being really fuckin’ obvious about it.” She chuckled.

“I never noticed that.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” Steph teased lightly. “It’s okay, I didn’t mind.” Her voice softened. “Look, what I’m trying to say is… I didn’t just want sex that day. I wanted you, Pete. No one else. You were, like, all I could think about since the day before. I thought you were cute, and sweet, and smart, and funny. I still do. If I hadn’t tried anything in the shower that day, I would have tried something some other time. Even if I knew Lumber-Axe was real. I still would’ve risked it. You know what I mean?”

Pete’s breath caught in his throat, hindering his response.

“I think so,” he replied, voice suddenly hoarse. “Thank you. Uh, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She smiled at him fondly. Pete smiled too.

“Okay.”

Steph reached her hand out and took his. He moved a bit closer to her.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.

“You know you don’t have to ask, right?”

“I know. It just felt like the appropriate thing to do.”

“Oh my God, you fucking dork, get over here.”

Steph let go of his hand and pulled him in. With a soft laugh, Pete closed the space between them and kissed her, any remaining insecurities about their relationship melting away.