Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eddie was getting sick of hospitals.

He hated the beeping; he hated the uncomfortable waiting room chairs; he hated the stupid hospital coffees, and Eddie especially hated the amount of natural disasters that the man he was in love with kept finding himself in the middle of.

What the fuck even was an dry thunderstorm?

Buck had tried to explain it to him earlier that morning, and Eddie thought he had understood it, but all that information had left his brain the moment he saw the lightning connect with Buck's body.

Now all he knew for certain is that he hated dry thunderstorms.

Don't get him wrong, Eddie hated everything that tried to kill Buck (he still gave the pier death glares when driving past it), but he especially hated this one because it had succeeded.

For three minutes and seventeen seconds Buck had been dead.

Not breathing. No pulse. Dead.

For three minutes and seventeen seconds Eddie had to try and imagine a life without Buck in it. A life where he would never see his smile again, never hear his loud laugh, never see his cheeks flush to a colour that almost matched the birthmark by his eyebrow.

A life where he would never have the chance to tell Buck he loved him - was in love with him.

A hand on his shoulder disrupted his thoughts. "Eddie, I know you're worried but if you keep bouncing your leg I'm going to lose my mind."

He flashed Hen an apologetic smile, leaning forwards so he had elbows on both of his thighs in an effort to keep them still. His focus returned to the double doors.

Hen’s grip tightened slightly. "Buck's a fighter, and he's got you and Chris and all of the 118 to fight to get back to."

"I just -" Eddie's throat constricted, tears jumping to his eyes, "I keep seeing it when I close my eyes. He was just... hanging."

"Eddie..."

"When he was hit I - I couldn't pull him up. There wasn't enough slack on the safety rope and I just -" He broke off into a sob, collapsing in on himself. "I couldn't get him - I couldn't -"

There was some shuffling, Hen moving to kneel in front of him to pull him into her arms. Her shoulder gave him a small space of privacy to fall apart, to weep without the fear of judgement.

"You did everything right, Eddie. You were hit off of the truck and you still raced right up to get to him. He's here, in the hospital. You got him here - this team got him here."

He couldn't find it in himself to speak, instead letting Hen’s soothing voice wash over him. Not long after, the double doors swung open, a woman in scrubs approaching.

"Edmundo Diaz?"

Eddie launched to his feet, swiping at his eyes aggressively. "That's me." The doctor looked around at the group that had formed around him questioningly. "We're all family, you can speak freely."

"The first thing to focus on is that Evan is alive."

"Buck." Eddie and Chimney spoke in unison, exchanging a look.

"Pardon?"

Chimney at least had the wherewithal to look sheepish. Eddie did not. "He - he's called Buck."

"Right. Buck is alive, but he has been placed in a medically induced coma to give his body time to heal from the internal damage he’s sustained. He is in the ICU, a nurse will let you know the exact room in a moment. I ask that you keep it to two people in the room at a time.”

“So he - we can see him?”

“In a few minutes, yes.”

With that, the doctor left. Eddie had to make a conscious effort not to run after her, clenching his fist as he forced himself to stay still.

“Maddie will be here soon… uniform went to inform her.” Chimney ran his hands over his face, “His parents too - can’t see this going down well.”

“Christopher… I need to call Carla.”

Bobby stepped forwards, looking almost as wrecked as Eddie. “Athena is coming to get me so I can get some home comforts for Buck. I’ll talk to Carla about Chris… let her know you won’t be home tonight.”

Eddie accepted with a nod, knowing his captain needed to stay busy, breathing shakily as a nurse approached. He followed her wordlessly, aware that Chimney was right by his side.

The two of them faltered just outside of the room, the nurse sensing the hesitation and offering them a small smile. “He has some wires, and the monitor will be beeping, but he is stable for now. It looks scarier than it is.”

Eddie nodded, glancing at the door. As soon as she pushed it open, he stepped past Chimney and made a beeline for Buck’s bedside.

The man looked pale, a spiderweb of bruising twisting around his tattoos. He was sure there was a proper name for them - certain that Buck would know the answer if he asked.

The two of them were silent for a while, Eddie desperate to break it.

“Do you think he knows?”

Chimney looked up at Eddie, frowning slightly. “Knows what?”

“Does he know how loved he is?”

He could feel the man’s eyes on the side of his head, but Eddie couldn’t seem to rip his focus away from Buck.

Chimney sighed. “I want to say that he does... but you know more than anyone how he doesn’t seem to believe that he is wanted.”

“He was dead, Chim.”

“I know.”

“He’s - three minutes and seventeen seconds -“

“You counted?”

“I couldn’t breathe Chim. I couldn’t - for three minutes and - he -“

When Eddie was less emotionally wrecked, he would find it embarrassing how easily the sobs came out of him again. He had never cried easily, tending to bottle things up and up until they exploded out of him - usually in private.

Now though, Eddie couldn’t find it within himself to give a single fuck.

“Oh - Eddie… um-“

Chimney flapped about for a minute, moving from his seat and coming to pat his on the back. The older man’s panic punched a laugh out of Eddie, the craziness of the situation finally dawning on him.

Now hysterically laughing through the tears, Eddie threw his hands up in the air, turning to face Chimney.

“Buck got hit by lightning.”

“Uhhh…” Chimney backed away slightly, “Yeah Eddie. He was.”

“Who the fuck gets hit by lightning?”

“I -“

“Buck! Buck is who! He gets crushed by engines and attacked by tsunamis but apparently that’s not enough!” He wiped at his eyes, distantly aware that his voice was raised, “It’s God’s greatest joke that Buck is a magnet for disasters!”

Chimney looked thoroughly concerned now, eyes wide and hands outstretched in front of him as if approaching a wild animal. A nurse came to enter the room but Chimney shook his head.

“Hey, buddy. It’s been a day, huh? But Buck is okay. He’s just resting... he's got through worse than this.”

Eddie jumped to his feet, stumbling slightly as he caught a reflection of himself in the window. He looked insane, there was no other word for it. All at once, he froze, tears now passively falling. "I - sorry. Sorry Chim."

“Man, you don’t have to apologise to me. I just -“ his face dropped, focusing back on Buck in the hospital bed, “I was supposed to go up that ladder.”

Chim’s lip wobbled, tears eventually winning and spilling down his cheeks. “It was supposed to be me, and now I have to tell Maddie that her brother -“

It was Eddie’s turn to not fall apart. He laid a hand on Chim’s shoulder. “Is a stubborn idiot. But an idiot that was doing his job.”

That got a laugh out of Chim, scrubbing at his eyes. “Yeah. Jesus I need to look better before the Buckleys get here or I’m so screwed.”

Eddie gestured between them, “I think it’s safe to say that ship sailed a while ago, Chim.”

Their shared laughter lasted just a few moments, smiles dropping as both of their attention returning to Buck’s unmoving body.

“He will be fine, right?”

“He has to be.”

Buck was pretty sure he was dying.

His parents loved him, Maddie was married to Doug, and Daniel was alive.

For a coma dream - or at least Buck assumed he was in a coma, maybe he was actually just dead and this was purgatory - his brain wasn’t exactly too creative.

Bitchy-Bobby said as much, glassy eyed and mean. “Poor Evan Buckley, wanting parents that love him so much he actually convinced himself any of this could be real. Boo-fucking-hoo.”

Buck narrowed his eyes, arms folded defensively across his chest. “You’re kinda a dick.”

Bitchy-Bobby grinned, “And you’re kinda dying! This is a fun game, let’s play some more! Gaze through the magical window and see yourself die in real time!”

Buck’s brow furrowed, gaze snapping to the blank hospital wall which was crumbling, revealing a glass panel.

Looking through the glass and seeing himself in a bed was surprisingly not the weirdest thing he had seen in the past five minutes.

He took a moment to tune Bitchy-Bobby out, eyes flitting over the scene before him.

Real-Bobby was sat with his head bowed at his bedside, hands clutching a rosary as his mouth moved silently - praying, Buck guessed.

Eddie was sat on his other side, clutching his limp hand as if it would keep him upright.

He didn’t know how long he had been watching them when Real-Bobby stood up, stretching his back with a wince. “I’ll be right back.”

Eddie didn’t immediately react, but as soon as the door closed he moved closer to Buck, free hand reaching over to lie on Buck’s cheek.

“You need to come back.” His voice was hoarse, from crying or lack of use Buck couldn’t tell. “The team needs you. Bobby needs you. Buck - I need you. Chris needs you. This can’t be the thing to take you out, okay? Chimney would never forgive himself and I-“

Buck placed his hand on the glass, desperate to comfort Eddie as the man broke into a sob. He watched as Eddie rested his forehead on Buck’s hip, shoulders shaking with the force of his cries.

After a few moments he recollected himself, breathing shakily. If his voice had sounded bad before, it was nothing compared to how wrecked it was now.

“I need you to be okay. I don’t know how to do this without you. I need my partner.”

Buck let out a shaky breath, hands clenching into fists as Eddie continued to cry. The sight made him ache, wanting nothing more than to break through and tug the man into a fierce hug.

Behind the glass Bitchy-Bobby burst into laughter, “Now this is funny.”

Buck whirled around, anger coursing through him. “This is funny to you?”

“Evan Buckley: the man who gets left behind. Now you’re the one leaving him.”

“You know what Bobby? This version of you sucks. You’re such an asshole.”

“I’m just saying it how I see it!” Bitchy-Bobby grinned, downing some more drugs. “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

Buck growled in frustration, turning back to the glass and hitting it with all of his might. “Eddie!” he yelled, pummelling the window with his fists, “Eddie I’m coming!”

“That won’t work!” Bitchy-Bobby sang, making a sad trumpet noise as Buck’s next hit did nothing. “You really think getting out of here is that simple? Maybe you really are all muscle and no brain.”

Buck ignored him as he took one last look at Eddie, growling with frustration and walking back out of the room, purpose in every step.

Eddie had been booted out of the hospital after 22 hours - dragged would be a more apt word actually, Karen having to take his hand and walk him out the front doors.

He came home to an empty house. Chris was at school, still unaware of Buck’s condition, which gave him just enough time to fall apart in the comfort of his own home.

Karen stayed with him (god Eddie loved that woman), rubbing circles into his back as he sobbed.

She forced him to shower as she made up a lunch, making sure he was at least somewhat presentable for when Chris was due home.

He forced himself to eat despite the taste of ash in his mouth, numbness spreading through him as he settled his focus on informing his son.

For an hour he sat silently on the couch, Karen sat where Buck should be, counting down the seconds.

Christopher knew something was wrong the second Carla opened the door, his smile dropping as he looked between Eddie and Karen.

“Dad?”

“Mijo -“

“Is Buck dead?”

His voice trembled with the question, hands tightening on his crutches as he searched his dad’s face.

“No Chris, but he’s not - he’s in a coma-”

Eddie winced as his voice gave out, pushing up on to his feet and crossing the room in a flash, pulling Chris into his arms as the boy let out a pained noise.

Carla and Karen had a quiet conversation behind them, one that barely registered to Eddie. All he could focus on now was his son.

“He’ll wake up though, right?” Chris whispered into his chest, crutches falling to the floor as he moved his grip to his dad’s t-shirt. “Buck has survived before. He - he’s coming back.”

Tears burned in Eddie’s eyes, “Your Buck will do everything to come back to you - to us. He’s strong mijo. I can’t - I can’t promise anything, but I know. I know in my heart that he is gonna be okay.”

Chris burrowed even further into the safety of his dad’s chest, wetting the fabric of the t-shirt with his tears. Despite the pain it caused him, Eddie pulled him closer still, desperate to give as much comfort as he possibly could.

“Can I see him?”

The question was impossibly quiet, but it lanced through Eddie all the same. “Not when he’s in the ICU, bud.”

Christopher pulled back, face scrunched up. “That’s not fair! He needs to know that I need him to wake up!”

“Chris -“

“No! He needs to know! I need to tell him dad!”

Eddie’s throat constricted. He felt too weak, too raw to argue with him.

Thankfully, Karen stepped in. “He knows how much you love him Chris, but your dad can tell him again when he goes to see him tomorrow. You can write it down and everything.”

“But -!”

Carla backed her up. “We’ll look into it Chris. If there’s a way to get you in there, we’ll do it. But that is the best option right now, okay?”

Taking a steadying breath - a tool he had learned from therapy post-tsunami - Christopher nodded, wiping angrily at his eyes before heading towards his bedroom.

“Mijo -“

“I need to write to Buck.”

His tone left no room for argument, and Eddie felt too fragile to push. Instead he looked at the two women in front of him, gave them a strangled thank you, and started to cry again.

Buck was going to apologise to Bobby - the real one that is - if when he woke up, because he had just punched him clean in the face.

The constant insults had finally poked the frustration boiling in Buck over the edge, shouting as fake-Bobby hit the floor. “Fuck!”

“That’s a bad word.” Buck whirled around to see a younger Christopher gazing up at him, head tilted slightly.

“Superman?”

“Who are you talking to?” Fake-Bobby asked, spitting out a glob of blood, “there’s no one there.”

“I know I didn’t punch you that hard. You can see Chris.”

“Oh you mean the dead boy?”

Buck’s stomach tightened, fear contracting his muscles. “What?”

“He means I died.” Chris replied, chirpy. “You lost me, remember? I drowned.”

Buck stumbled back slightly, “No. No you - Chris you survived. You made it out.”

“You lost me. I drowned.”

Buck shook his head, as if the action could cancel out the words he was hearing. “No! I looked for you and you - you made it to the field hospital. You survived -“

Christopher shrugged, smiling. “You killed me Buck. You didn’t care enough to look.”

The words contrasted so severely with Chris’ facial expression that it took Buck a moment to process the words.

“That’s not true Chris - I never stopped looking for you. I love - you’re my s- my best friend. I would never give up on you.”

“But you did.”

In an instant, Buck staggered as if hit with physical force.

He felt sick, heart racing as he reached out towards Eddie’s son - his favourite kid in the world - his superman.

His hands met thin air. The boy was gone.

He couldn’t breathe.

"I hope you can hear me Buck. I, uh. I have a letter from Chris. He wanted to talk to you but there's a no kid rule in the ICU so it's just me. Sorry." Eddie cleared his throat uncomfortably, shuffling in his seat. "Here it is."

He looked at Buck's resting body, taking a long look before averting his eyes to the page.

"Buck. I need you to know that I love you and I need you to wake up. I need your breakfast pancakes. I need you to come with me on our zoo trips. I need your random facts and I need you to help me with my homework. I need you to-"

Eddie's voice faltered, emotion clogging up his throat as the words on the page blurred. This kid was going to kill him.

"I need you to be there to look after my dad at work. I need you to come home and sit on our couch and be just Buck. I miss you. I love you Buck and you need to wake up. Please wake up."

Eddie let out a long, shaky breath. Placing the letter in his pocket, he reached over to lay a light hand on to Buck's covered ankle, thumb pressing in to feel the pulse.

He stared at the rise and fall of his chest with a prayer-like reverence, that and the pulse reassuring him that his partner was still alive, still clinging on.

All of a sudden, the rise and fall stopped.

Machines began to beep like crazy, Eddie springing to his feet as nurses rushed in.

“He’s not breathing.”

“Other stats?”

“HR 130 and climbing, O2 dropping -“

A nurse grabbed Eddie’s arm, pulling him away and out of the room. He didn’t resist - couldn’t.

Maddie rushed to his side, fresh coffee forgotten in the machine. “Eddie? What’s happening?”

He opened his mouth but no noise came out, gesturing weakly at the ICU window. She grabbed on to his arm with a bruising grip as they stood side by side, watching as a doctor raced past them and into the room.

After what felt like a millennia, with drying tears on both of their cheeks, a doctor came out to speak to them.

“His lungs just… gave up. We have him on a tube, and will keep him on it until his stats recover.”

Eddie swayed into Maddie’s side slightly, blinking dumbly as the woman spoke. “And then?”

The doctor hesitated. “Let’s focus on the now first, okay?”

Eddie ripped his arm from Maddie’s grip, raced to the nearest bin, and vomited up his breakfast.

His body contorted as it rejected the possibility of a life without Buck, knees burning against the hard waxed floor. Light footsteps approached his side, Maddie patting his back.

At the contact, Eddie let tears fall once more. “I love him Maddie.”

The words were no more than a croak. Maddie’s hand paused for a fraction of a second, just enough to let Eddie know she had heard him, before returning to their ministrations.

His confession hung in the silence between them, raw and fragile, and yet she said nothing. Panic had just begun to grow when the woman paused entirely, moving to kneel by Eddie’s side.

“I love my brother. He would fight like hell to get back to any of us,” she said, tears evident in her voice, “but I know there’s nothing that will make him fight harder than you and your son.”

Eddie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, releasing his vice grip on the side of the metal can and unsteadily rising to his feet. He offered Maddie his hand, helping her up.

“He would do anything for you.” He replied.

She smiled. “I know he would - but Eddie, even a stranger could see that he would do the impossible for you and Christopher.”

He stood slightly taller, “Good thing that’s exactly what we need him to do now then.”

Together, they walked back into the room together, clinging on to each other's hand in an effort to keep themselves up.

Eddie couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the artificial rise and fall of Buck’s chest. He knew logically that the tubes were breathing for him, but it still calmed him to see the movement.

"We should call Bobby," Maddie said from his side.

"Yeah."

Neither of them moved.

"In a minute."

"Yeah."

Buck’s breathing returned to normal with a snap, fake-Bobby smirking at him as he wiped the last of the blood from his lips. “You’re on a tube now.”

Buck’s medical knowledge that he’d absorbed from working in the firehouse was enough to know that tubes were bad.

“My lungs gave out, didn’t they?”

“Ding ding ding! Another ten points to Buckley!”

Too aware of his ever-disappearing grip on vitality, Buck couldn’t even spare the time to roll his eyes, rushing back to the room with the window.

Just like before, he gazed on to his unconscious body, a large tube in his mouth.

Maddie was sat by his side, his parents stood at the foot of the bed as Chimney hovered awkwardly in between.

The conversation was stilted, most of it spent staring at Buck, when Margaret spoke.

“When do we have to take him off the tube?”

“That isn’t our decision.” Maddie said, frowning slightly as their mother took a step forwards.

“I know the doctors will let us know when it’s an option, but the decision will be down to us.”

“No mom. It’s not.”

“What do you mean?” She asked. “If we’re not his power of attorney then it’s you, surely.”

“I haven’t been that for Buck in years mom.”

“Then who?”

“It was Bobby for a while -“ Their dad let out a scoff, pushing his glasses up, but stayed silent as Maddie gave him a quick glare. “- but now I think it’s Eddie.”

“Eddie?”

“Yes Eddie - you know, the one who’s been here every day since the accident? His partner Eddie.”

"The friend from work?"

Chimney fidgeted, unable to stop himself from cutting in. “He’s more than that -“

“Yes, yes we know you firefighters bond, but really, having a workmate hold this much power is ridiculous.” Phillip’s words were dripping with condescension.

Chimney’s face failed to hide the awkwardness, visibly withholding his next words as his eyes flickered to Maddie.

Buck just frowned, zoning out as his mother continued to talk.

'Friend from work' did not even come close to explain Eddie's importance in his life. He was his best friend, his person, his safe space.

Eddie had given him a soft place to land; handed him the keys to his home and the trust to be in his son's life. They had built a family together, unconventional but perfect all the same.

He was the first person he wanted to talk to when he had good news or bad news. He was there for each celebration, every triumph and failure, and every life lesson.

When he pictured his life, it was Eddie that was the person he envisioned growing old with. They would champion Christopher as he grew and flourished, hold each other as he crossed the graduation stage, sobbing with pride. They would go back to their home where they would host their family, knowing that at the end of the day he could always rely on Eddie to be there. At night, he would walk past the couch and into their bedroom and -

Oh.

Oh.

He was in love with Eddie.

Eddie felt like he was truly losing his mind.

Watching Buck’s parents pretend to give a shit about their son was discombobulating.

He wanted to grab them by their shoulders and shake, scream at them for taking up time at Buck’s side that his real family should have, and tell them in excruciating detail just how much they had failed their son.

As it so happens, Eddie was too exhausted by the emotions that came with watching your best friend get killed by lightning, so he instead settled for pulling faces at their backs - no better than a six year old child.

Athena had caught him, raising an eyebrow in a way that was so unimpressed that he actually shrunk in on himself. He didn’t do it again (at least not when he knew she was visiting).

All bets flew out of the window, however, the day he heard they had been discussing removing the tube that was keeping Buck alive.

Bobby had warned him the moment he had entered the hospital that morning, the Captain having walked into a ‘disagreement’ between Maddie and the Buckley’s a few moments earlier.

“They just found out about the power of attorney. They’re not happy.”

“They really thought Buck would have them listed? They’ve barely spoken since he was 16! They’ve not been here, we have! I have!”

Bobby laid a stabilising hand on his shoulder. “We know that, no one here is questioning you both.”

Eddie shook his head, clenching his jaw as he forced himself to settle. “Why were they even discussing it?”

Bobby’s face fell into a carefully constructed mask. “They were discussing next steps -“

“The doctors haven’t said anything yet, have they?”

“No. No they… they wanted to remove the tube.”

“What! He hasn’t even been on it for a full two days! It could work any moment now! Why would they -“ He cut off as his breath failed to come, eyes widening in panic.

“Eddie. Eddie! I know. I know. They can’t do anything, no one is going to touch Buck until he’s ready to come off of it, okay?”

He nodded, breath coming short and shallow. Bobby talked him down, ever calm and present, until Eddie could breathe deeply once more.

“I’m right here, and when you’re ready, we’ll walk in there together and deal with this.”

“Athena on stand-by?”

Bobby raised his eyebrow, a shadow of a smile on his lips, “Should she be?”

“Maybe just… stand in between me and Margaret.”

“Got it.”

Buck wasn’t sure how long he had been stood at the window. Time had definitely passed, but his side of the room was suspiciously quiet. Bitchy-Bobby was nowhere to be seen, which was either a very good or a very bad sign.

Buck hoped it was good.

People had been visiting him: Athena, Hen and Karen, Ravi, Chimney, even Josh from dispatch came to check on him. By far the most frequent visitors had been Bobby, Maddie and Eddie.

It was Eddie that was sat with him now, Maddie distracting their parents with a coffee run and Bobby retreated to the hospital chapel.

“They’re going to come in and remove your tube this afternoon Buck, and I need you to fight. I can’t help you with this one, and it’s killing me. I just… I need to know that I’ve said this to you. I don’t have long. Maddie is barely keeping your shitty - sorry - your parents out of the room but she knows I need to say this. She said it might give you some more reason to try. So…”

Buck pressed a hand to the glass. “I’m trying Eddie I promise.”

Eddie cleared his throat.

“You can’t die before I can tell you that I love you. I love you so much, Buck. It’s fucking torture - you can’t die without kissing me. I can’t go through life knowing that I didn’t get to know what your lips felt like - that I didn’t get teach you how it feels to be loved wholly. I would never leave you, so you need to wake the fuck up.”

Buck faltered, tears running down his cheeks as his chest rattled. “Eddie,” he breathed, crowding against the glass, “he loves me.”

“Wake up so I can tell you to your face. I need to see your smile and your beautiful eyes, Buck. If - when you’re ready I’m going to take you out on the best date of your life.” Eddie let out a wobbly laugh, running his hands over his face. “Enough of me talking at you. I’m sure you’re getting tired of my voice by now -“

“Never.” Buck whispered.

“We have a visitor for you. More of a stowaway than anything, but…” he trailed off, opening the door. Crutches echoed through the room.

Buck’s tears began to fall in earnest. “Christopher!”

With Carla’s help, they got Chris in the room, settling him on the bed. The boy took care to not lean on any wires, his hand falling to rest over Buck’s heart.

“Hi Buck. It’s me. Oh, and Carla.”

“Hi Buckaroo.”

“I know dad read you my letter but I really wanted to see that you were okay myself. Dad told me the machines are helping you heal, so you need to let them. And you need to come back, wherever you are, because we need you.”

Eddie wiped his tears away silently, leaning against the wall in order to stay standing.

Christopher moved closer, voice dropping to a whisper. “Dad has been really sad Buck. I don’t know how to make it better, but you do. After mom died you helped, so I need you to come and help again. Please.”

“I’m coming Chris,” Buck promised, taking one last look at them before stepping away from the glass. “I’m coming!”

As soon as his back was turned, he began to run.

He ran past his parents, calling after him with promises of family dinner.

He ran past his sister, bruised and hurting.

He ran past his brother, past a Chim and Hen who didn’t recognise him, past ghost-Chris and Bitchy-Bobby.

He didn’t stop until he reached the end of the hospital corridor, double doors replaced with a brick wall.

“No!” Buck shouted, channelling all of his energy into his voice, “I want to wake up! None of this is real. My family - my real family needs me!”

“Evan, we are your family.” Margaret said, arms open, “We love you.”

Phillip stood tall behind her, smiling softly. “We love you son.”

Buck shook his head, stepping back. “You’ve never said that to me. Never.”

Maddie hunched over beside them, a shaking hand pulling away from her abdomen, drenched in blood. “Evan… please.”

Buck tore his eyes away, stomping down the need to help his sister. “You’re not real. None of this is real.”

“Of course this is real” Daniel frowned, “We’re all real.”

“No you’re not. You’re dead - I failed you and you died.”

“You didn’t fail me, Evan. You were a baby.”

“You died!”

Bitchy-Bobby stumbled over to them, leaning against Daniel’s side with a burp. “He’s right. He couldn’t save you.”

“Oh fuck off! You’re nothing like Bobby! Bobby is a kind, loving Captain. Stop wearing his face!”

“Listen to yourself, kid. You’ve officially lost it.”

Buck let out a yell of frustration. “I don’t have time for this! Christopher needs me and I need to tell Eddie that I love him!”

He stomped his foot, ground shaking with the impact. Buck stumbled, ground opening up in front of him.

He stared, everything within him screaming against jumping into the abyss.

“Hey!”

Buck looked back up, corridor now empty, bar one person. It was Chris, older now and smiling. “It’s gonna be okay kid.”

With a nod, Buck leapt.

It was subtle at first.

A slight twitch of a hand against Eddie’s cheek. A stutter amongst steady breaths. Fluttering of the eyes.

Eddie didn’t look up from his current intense study of Buck’s hand - ever since the tube had been removed and Buck had taken his first independent breath he couldn’t find it within himself to look at his chest in fear the breaths would stop again - until a change in the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor had him whipping his head up.

He froze as he registered what he was looking at. Buck’s blue eyes met his, holding him steady in his gaze.

“Buck?”

He blinked, a slow mundane movement, but it lit something within Eddie.

He righted himself immediately, crowding towards Buck, hands flying up to cradle both sides of his face.

“Buck. Oh my god Buck.”

“Eds.”

A laugh of pure relief spilled from Eddie’s lips as he tilted forwards, resting their foreheads together. “You did it. You fucking did it.”

“Y’r not jus’ friend fr’m work.”

The words were slurred, but clear enough that Eddie made a small questioning noise.

Buck tried again, frowning slightly at the lack of control he had over his mouth. “Love you.”

Eddie pulled away, the motion pulling a confused whine from Buck, only settling when Eddie remained very much within reach. Tears steadily streamed down his face, Buck’s eyes half-lidded as they traced over every visible inch.

“You - I was supposed to - you asshole! I had been working up to saying that this whole time and you just -“ Eddie cut himself off with an incredulous laugh. “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Buck smiled, pure and bright, eyes dropping to Eddie’s lips with a burning intensity.

It pulled a snort out of Eddie. “As much as I want to kiss you, Buck, I’m not doing that ‘til I know you’ll be able to take it.”

Buck frowned, but acquiesced, lifting his hand up to attempt grabbing at Eddie’s t-shirt.

“I’m not going anywhere.” he promised, pressing the call button.

“Ever?”

“Well - I’ll go to get Chris at some point, but I’ll bring him right back here.”

Buck nodded shallowly. “Good.”

Their little bubble burst as the door swung open, nurses rushing in and performing checks. Eddie made sure to text the group chat to let them know Buck was awake, and soon the room was full of their 118 family.

Eddie kept his promise, staying right by Buck's side as their family fussed over him, never straying from his eyeline. It was only when Carla arrived with Chris that he moved, helping Chris back on to the bed and reclaiming his place by Buck.

"Hey superman," Buck grinned, lifting his hand for a shaky fist bump.

Chris ignored it, falling forwards into Buck's chest, curling around him with all the clumsiness of an upset child. It must have hurt, with aching scars and bruises from CPR, but Buck didn't make a single sound.

He just held Christopher close, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, and locked eyes with Eddie.

He was home.