Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rimmer was looking for his old revision books, having decided to once again try the astro-navigation test.

“How can you not recall where you put them?” He asked, chiding Lister as he looked through their shared storage closet.

Across the bunkroom, Lister shrugged. He’d taken the books away from Rimmer ages ago, tired of watching the hologram torture himself.

Leaning on one arm, Lister watched from the table as Rimmer searched. The books he wanted weren’t in that particular closet but Lister wasn’t going to tell him that.

Rimmer paused his berating and pulled out a tin of instant coffee cream powder from the back of the closet.

“How long has this been here?” He asked worriedly. “Really Lister, you're becoming a hoarder.” He said opening the tin and peering inside.

“It's gone bad, I knew it had, look.” He said, taking a sniff and showing Lister the white chalky powder inside. “This is a health hazard. It’s got to go.”

“Rimmer.” Lister warned, suddenly getting up from the table, abandoning his jigsaw puzzle in the process. “Rimmer, that isn't milk powder.”

Rimmer looked down at the tin worriedly. “Drugs? Are these drugs Lister?”

“No you smeg.” Lister said, walking over to the hologram. “It's you.”

Confused, Rimmer stared down at the tin. “Me? What do you mean that's me?”

Lister took the tin from his hands and carefully placed the lid back on. “This is your dust, or whatever. It was all that was left when I woke up from stasis.” He explained, carefully setting the tin back on the shelf where it lived.

Rimmer raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me I've been sat on a shelf in your closet all these years? In a Coffee Mate tin?”

Lister nodded guiltily as Rimmer contemplated this news. 

Truthfully he'd always assumed that the scutters had hoovered him up along with the rest of the crew.

“Tell me you at least cleaned the tin out first.” Rimmer said, after a long pause. 

“Mostly.” Lister replied, rubbing his neck.

“Mostly?” Rimmer repeated, incredulously. “You mean my remains have been been contaminated with milk powder and artificial flavourings?”

“I didn’t have a lot of time.” Lister said, folding his arms defensively. 

“It still doesn’t explain the tin.” Rimmer replied, unable to let it go.

Lister threw his hands up into the air. “I panicked alright? I didn’t want you to see yourself. I thought it might be weird for ya. You’d only just become a hologram.” Lister explained, stepping closer.

Rimmer’s non-existant heart blistered as he processed Lister’s words.

“What are you doing now?” Asked Lister as Rimmer poked his head back into the closet.

“I’m looking for Kochanski.” Rimmer replied as if it was obvious. “Let me guess, you put her remains in a Bovril tin?”

Lister sighed and shook his head. “She’s not in there.” 

Rimmer turned to stare at him. “She’s not?”

“I’m not some weirdo.” Lister replied, looking at the floor. “I don’t collect people’s dust. I just have yours.”

“You just have mine?” Rimmer replied, his surprise evident in his voice.

Lister nodded. “Just yours.” He confirmed, pressing his face against the metal door of the closet. “I’m sorry. I should have told ya about the tin.”

Rimmer hummed in agreement, clearly still a little peeved.

“It’s just, before today, you didn't seem to care about your remains.”

“I didn’t know I had any to care about.” Rimmer clarified. “Why did you keep them anyway? You didn’t even like me back then.”

Lister looked up. “I liked you. Despite everything you did, I liked you.” He insisted, staring at Rimmer with those dark brown eyes.

Overwhelmed, Rimmer looked away.

Lister filled the silence.

“I suppose I was keeping it for you. You couldn’t touch anything back then and… I liked having you close.” He admitted, brushing a finger down the side of the closet. 

Rimmer ached. “Lister.” He started, uncertainly.

“You can have the tin back, Rimmer.” Lister sighed, interrupring.

Rimmer glanced down at his hard light body and the silver ring on his left hand. It was hard to be mad about something that had happened so very long ago. Especially when his death had only brought them closer together.

“You can keep the tin Listy.” He found himself saying. “Just keep it away from the Cat.”

Lister smiled. “I will Love, I promise.”

Rimmer nodded and Lister lessened the distance between them with a kiss.

Chapter Text

“When I die, I thought you could be buried in space with me.” Lister says later, in the dark, his body entangled with Rimmer’s in their shared bottom bunk.

Rimmer pauses at his words, Lister’s death is a normally a black card conversation for the sensitive hologram. But in the dark, with his head resting against Lister’s chest listening to the human’s heartbeat, strong and real, he feels safe enough to contemplate Lister’s words.

He isn’t a fool.

Lister is his sun. And as much as he refuses to admit it, slowly dying, in the way that everything living is slowly dying.

Like a sun, Lister burns brightly beside him, with one hand in his curls, and the other arm wrapped around his back. Too brightly.

He knows one day Lister will become a supernova and cease to exist.

Rimmer’s chest tightens at the thought.

There will be no more moonlight without Lister.

Lister’s lips brush against his head. “The tin, I mean.” He gently clarified, misinterpreting Rimmer’s silence.

Rimmer’s light bee hums as he lies still. Somehow thought of them parting is worse than Lister’s eventual death.

A tin and some dust it isn’t enough. It might be his remains but it isn’t the man he is now.

He cannot exist alone.

He clings to Lister in the dark and imagines the two of them together in space, forever.

In his mind, they lie together like they are now, in a lover’s eternal embrace. But holograms don’t have bones.

Rimmer closes his eyes. He imagines his light bee in Lister’s hand instead. His wedding ring around Lister’s neck. His chest eases.

“Lister.” He says, finding his voice at last. “You’re mad if you think you’re going anywhere without me. Of course I’m coming with you.”

Lister sniffles quietly in the dark. “You romantic sod.”