Archive of Our Own ^beta

A week ago, Pidge announced that April fools was coming up, since she was the only one who kept track of what day it would be on earth.

Lance didn't think much of it, having just continued to lazily shove food goo in his mouth, barely looking up from his plate.

In fact, nobody really thought much about it.

But Lance really wishes he did, because now he was terrified for his life.

It sorta reminds him of how he felt when the castle was haunted, except at least he knows he's not going to actually die this time, instead he's just paranoid.

Hunk was the first one to get pranked. His room temperature was set very low, and when he got up to adjust the setting, still heavy on sleep, it got stuck.

As he tried to fix the thermostat, it moved up to almost boiling hot all by itself. That's when Hunk opened the door to his bedroom, groaning in annoyance down the hall, waking everyone else up.

Pidge smirked as Hunk complained about the malfunction at breakfast, and Keith was the only one who noticed and actually got suspicious.

Allura was next. It was slightly unfair since the Alteans had no idea what April fools day was, but to Pidge, that just made it even more fun.

Allura was reading in her bedroom, actually resting instead of worrying about the Galra. That's when the lights turned off. She frowned and clapped to turn them back on, her room being special like that, but it didn't work.

She got up and left her room, book in hand, and went to sit in the common area instead. It was shockingly empty, so she immediately got comfy on the sofa.

Five minutes later, the lights went out in that room as well. Allura, now confused, got up to try and find Coran and ask him about it. But as she walked the halls, the lights turned off as she went, leaving her in pitch black darkness since even the back up lights were off. Anywhere she turned, the lights immediately went out.

She panicked and accidentally bumped into a wall, and that's when the lights turned on again, all at once, startling Allura and nearly blinding her.

Allura told everyone about what happened, and that's when Keith finally put the pieces together. This was Pidge pranking them for April fools day.

Arms tightly crossed, he leaned on one foot, glaring at Pidge, “I think this is Pidge’s way of pranking us for April Fools.”

Lance gasped, offended, turning to Pidge to see her response.

She shrugged shamelessly before giggling and speed walking out of the room.

The four Paladins groaned before being forced to explain April fools to the Alteans.

Hours later, after carefully doing everything, Lance was finally targeted.

Shiro and Coran had also already been pranked, and Lance knew it was just him and Keith left.

He walked into his favorite room, the observatory, ready to relax and watch the stars. The worst prank Pidge could do was turn on all the lights so he couldn't see outside very well, yet he could live with that.

Yet he stopped in his tracks when he noticed a certain mullet head sitting on the ledge just like he often did.

Instead of getting annoyed, Lance took a deep breath, calming his temper down. He was already annoyed at Pidge, he didn't have enough energy to also be annoyed at Keith.

He also didn't want to sit with Keith in the observatory since that sounded far too intimate, so he turned back around to head out.

Except, when he stood in front of the automatic door, it didn't open. He sighed, hating whenever the castle doors did this, and pressed on the manual button beside the frame that was made for moments just like this.

It still didn't open.

“Fuck!” Lance shouted, banging on the door, “Pidge you asshole!”

Keith turned around, yet he didn't look shocked to see Lance, probably from his ridiculously good Galara hearing. “What's wrong?”

“The door is locked.” Lance pouted, kicking uselessly at the bottom of it.

Keith stood up and walked across the room, wanting to check it out for himself. He did the same thing Lance did, yet it didn't work for him, either.

“Pidge is pranking us.” Lance deadpanned, “She's probably gonna flood the room or something.”

Keith stood there for a minute, thinking, before he finally sighed, “Let's just wait for our doom, then.”

Lance reluctantly nodded, sluggishly following Keith to the cushioned area on the ledge of the windows.

They sat there in silence, starting out the window, watching the stars and planets that they passed.

Ten minutes went by. Nothing.

Twenty minutes went by. Nothing.

Lance couldn't sit still or keep quiet any longer. “Okay what the hell is Pidge planning?”

Keith sighed, long and stretched out, as he leaned back on the wall behind him, “Maybe this is her prank.”

“Huh?”

Keith stared blankly at him, “Trapping us together in a room.”

“That's a stupid prank.” Lance said automatically before it clicked. “Oh my god Pidge is evil! Why would she do that?”

Keith huffed, arms crossed, “Probably because all we do is bicker and start fights. She probably wants us to get so sick of each other that we fist fight, or something.”

Lance rolled his eyes, “Not happening. I'm not going to give Pidge what she wants.”

Keith silently agreed before they both went back to staring outside the window.

But Lance never claimed to be a patient man, and he was soon fidgeting, leg bouncing as he kept shifting to stay comfortable.

Keith noticed, raising a lazy eyebrow as he watched the younger man in front of him. “You good?”

Lance groaned, giving up. “I'm so bored. I can't stay like this for hours.”

Keith actually looked slightly sympathetic, so Lance proceeded to complain until an idea popped in his head. Suddenly grinning, he sat up straighter, “We should play a game!”

“Sure.” Keith agreed immediately, surprising Lance, but he tried to not let it show on his face.

“Let's do truth or dare. A classic.” Lance suggested with a slight wiggle in his eyebrows.

“You go first.” Was all Keith said before Lance and him began to play.

It started off innocent enough. Lance dared Keith to tell an embarrassing story about himself, so Keith told him of the time he stole Shiro's car.

Lance laughed way too hard at that.

Keith dared Lance to do the splits, and to his surprise, Lance did it with ease.

“You're… really flexible.” Keith stated, staring at Lance as he did the middle splits.

“Been doing gymnastics since I was four, so, yeah.” He grinned, “I can do a left and right split too.”

Keith then picked truth, so Lance asked him what his body count was.

Keith laughed before telling him.

“Six?” Lance's eyes widened.

“With all men, remember that.” Keith made a face, not wanting Lance to think he was having sex with women.

“Right, right…” Lance trailed off as an image popped into his head.

“Truth or dare?” Keith asked, knocking Lance out from his trance.

“Truth.”

“What's your body count?”

Lance pressed his lips together. He received a blow job from a girl in tenth grade behind the bleachers. It was really uneventful and a little awkward since she was a year and a few months older than him.

“Like non-penetrational sex, too?” Lance slowly asked.

Keith shrugged, “I didn't include it, but you can.”

Lance painfully sighed, hating that he was about to reveal such an embarrassing thing to Keith mother fucking Kogane.

“I've never had actual sex.” Lance muttered, suddenly very interested in the shooting star going past the window next to him.

Keith blinked, “Wait– what?”

Lance didn't reply to his confusion, instead deciding to continue looking out the window, his legs pressed tight against his chest.

“But you act so cocky when it comes to sex.”

“Just because I'm best friends with my left hand and an expert at fingering myself, doesn't mean I'm actually experienced.” Lance then froze, face turning red.

Keith looked amused now. “You finger yourself?”

“Uhm.”

Keith looked him up and down before leaning back, smugly crossing his arms across his chest, “Actually, that makes sense.”

“What–”

“Your turn.” Keith interrupted.

Four rounds later, Lance was hiding a boner.

He found out that Keith was strictly a top and that his favorite thing to do to his partner was eat out their ass.

He also discovered that Keith once fisted someone, and Lance did choke on air when he learned that.

And, most importantly, Keith admitted that he's attracted to Lance.

“Wait what?” Lance was sure he heard Keith wrong.

Yet, Keith just shrugged, “I said you're hot. You'd be even hotter if you were less loud, but I'm sure there are plenty of ways to shut you up.”

Lance felt his cock twitch hard in his jeans.

“Like… like how?” Lance mumbled, far too curious to just let the conversation move on.

Keith raised his eyebrow, “Probably by making you suck my dick. Or gagging you. Or just fucking you so good that you can't speak anymore.

Lance nearly whined, “Fuck, Keith–”

Keith was smirking now, “Yeah?”

Lance's throat closed up. He swallowed, but that hardly helped. He opened his mouth, shut it, then licked his lips without realizing it.

Keith watched the movement closely, suppressing a smirk. As soon as Lance said that they were trapped in this room together, he knew exactly what Pidge was trying to do.

She's been complaining about how their bickering was getting too sexual and how it was painful to watch. He heard her complain to Hunk about it and she even told Keith directly, making the older boy choke on air.

He knew for a fact Pidge was trying to get them to do something that would end their sexual pining. He also knew that she would not be watching the cameras the whole time, since she was incredibly repulsed by sex.

But just to be safe…

Keith stood up, stretching out his arms above his head, his shirt riding up his stomach. Lance watched with hungry eyes as a patch of black hair was revealed at the top of his boxers, a happy trail going up his stomach. Then he saw his abs for a split second before Keith put his arms back down.

Lance was always clean and shaved, hating having hair on his body. But he found it weirdly hot that Keith didn't care to shave nearly as often as he did.

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried his best to get rid of his boner.

“I'm bored. Let's do something else.” Keith said plainly, walking around the room in his socks. It was pretty empty with nothing to do since a whole wall was covered in a window while the rest of the room had that typical Altean minimalist design.

Keith soon saw the camera that was in the corner of the room. He looked up at it, smirking to himself before he pulled out his blade. Then he easily threw the knife at the camera, slicing it in half. He watched as it fell to the floor, the loud noise startling Lance.

“What was that?” Lance asked as he slightly turned around to see what Keith was doing, yet his thighs were tightly pressed against his chest, arms wrapping around his legs.

“The security camera that I just broke.” Keith stated before bending down to pick up the cracked camera, observing it for a microphone but found none. Yet just in case, he cut the camera in half with his blade.

“Jesus Christ–" Lance's eyes widened,”That should not be possible.”

“Galra weapons are something else.” Keith shrugged, attaching the knife to his belt loop again.

“Your Galra super strength also probably helps.” Keith heard Lance mutter.

He slowly walked back over to where Lance was sitting. He stood in front of him for a second before bending down.

“Tell me no and I'll stop.” He whispered, inches from Lance's face.

Lance's eyes went wide for a second as a blush spread across his cheeks. He bit his lip, not saying anything.

Keith took that as a sign to continue, so he cupped Lance's jaw before pressing their lips together in a kiss.

It was soft for a second before Lance moaned, wrapping his arms around Keith to pull himself up so they were at the same level. Keith gripped his hips hard, pressing their bodies flat against one another before shoving his tongue in Lance's waiting mouth.

The noises Lance made were desperate sounding. He ran his fingers through Keith's mullet, pulling hard. Keith groaned a bit, biting down on Lance's lip.

The kiss was wet, spit dripping down Lance's chin as Keith sucked on his tongue, forcing his mouth wide open. They broke for less than a second for air, not even opening their eyes before they were back at it.

Keith ran his hands down Lance's body till he reached his ass. And fuck, Lance's ass was something else. He always stared at it any chance he got, and he was finally groping it in his hands, squeezing the fat in his cheeks before sliding his hands under Lance's jeans and underwear.

Lance let out a whimper when he felt Keith's cold hands against his skin. He whined loudly into the other boy's mouth as his cheeks were spread, Keith kneading the flesh roughly.

Lance broke away for a second to moan freely, burying his head into Keith's shoulder. Keith's fingers were so close to his hole, but he wasn't getting any closer.

“Please, Keith…” Lance half-heartedly begged, grinding back against his hands.

Wordlessly, Keith moved his left hand from under Lance's clothes to quickly unbutton his jeans, tugging the zipper down. Lance got the message loud and clear as he shoved his jeans to his knees, followed by his boxers that were soaked with pre-cum.

With Lance's ass free, Keith forced Lance to turn around. “Bend over.” He mumbled out, voice deeper than usual. Lance obeyed immediately, bending over the cushioned seating against the window.

Lance couldn't spread his legs as far as he would like to since his pants were bunched up at his calves. Yet, to Keith, that just made it hotter. He seemed trapped in a way, completely submitting himself to Keith.

“Perfect.” Keith heard himself mumble as he put both his palms on each cheek, squeezing and caressing his skin gently before getting rougher.

“So, you finger yourself, right?” Keith asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Y-yeah.” Lance hiccupped out.

“When was the last time you did?”

Lance hesitated, not wanting to seem like a horny slut. But… “This morning.” He groans as Keith digs his nails into his ass, “B-before Hunk woke us all up, I was finger fucking myself.” He admits with a sigh after he's done, closing his eyes.

Keith chuckled a bit, “Of course you were.” He slaps his ass and Lance gasps, “Only fingers? Nothing bigger?”

“I–” Lance bites down on his lip to stop a moan, “Yeah, three at most. There's no sex toys in space– fuck, Keith, please…”

Keith spreads his cheeks and finally takes a good look at his puckered hole. He grins to himself. “You're tight,” He runs a finger over his hole, watching it flutter, “I can tell.”

Lance doesn't reply to that, and is instead focused on breathing properly.

“Fuck. I don't have lube.” Keith says after a second of silence, and he lets go of Lance's ass as he thinks.

“Just eat me out. Y-you said that was your favorite thing to do, right?” Lance stutters the words out, face flushed.

Keith grins, “You sure?”

Nodding, Lance arches his ass up more, “Very.”

Keith doesn't waste any time. He gets down onto his knees, guiding Lance's hips down so his ass is lined up with his face.

Lance yelps when he feels Keith's tongue over his hole. It's… such an unfamiliar feeling, and he finds himself shivering.

“Holy fuck…” He moans out slowly, trying to look back to see Keith.

He sees the older boy's messy black hair, his bangs covering most of his face as he licks away.

Lance looks forward again, gasping out small moans as he fights to keep his eyes open and his focus on the stars outside.

Not even a minute later he's burying his face in his arms, nearly sobbing as Keith sucks on his hole, finally stretching him open enough to insert the tip of his tongue.

“Keith, I–” Lance blushes as he hears his pre-cum drip onto the floor, creating a shiny spot on the marble-like tile.

Keith only hums, too busy to pull away and properly reply. He always gets in such a haze whenever he rims someone. His head is foggy and his jaw starts to hurt slightly, but he doesn't slow down or stop at all.

His grip on Lance's ass and thighs is bruising, and Lance moans at the thought of him seeing those marks later when he looks in the mirror.

Lance never shuts up, always making small, desperate noises that are occasionally interrupted by a louder moan. Minutes go by like this, and Keith grows harder from each noise Lance makes, his cock straining in his pants now.

Lance's ass is loose now, Keith licking inside of him, along his walls, saliva dripping down his chin as he makes a mess of Lance's hole.

Some spit drips down Lance's thick thighs, and he shivers again just from the feeling of it running down his legs.

Keith uses both hands to spread Lance's cheeks even wider, using his whole face to eat him out, eyes shut.

“I'm ready. Keith please, I'm gonna die.” Lance whines dramatically, arching his back as he tries to pull away from Keith's bruising grip.

Keith sucks and licks a little bit more before he sits up. His cheeks are red, and his chin and mouth are covered in spit.

Lance lets out a soft noise before turning to look at Keith. He whines at the sight behind him.

Keith catches his breath, chest rising up and down. While he's doing that, he strips off his black t-shirt, throwing it somewhere. Lance tries and fails to not drool at the sight of Keith's abs and happy trail.

“Please just shove your dick in me.” Lance's voice sounds broken, yet his words are blunt. He makes direct eye contact with Keith, who surprisingly listens.

Keith stands up, still in his jeans that are now sporting a very large bulge in his crotch. He grabs Lance's waist with one hand and his shoulder with the other and stands him up. Lance's legs shake, but he leans on Keith for support.

Keith grabs the front of Lance's neck, not choking him but adding just enough pressure to remind him of who's in charge, “I want you to stand over there in front of that window,” Keith nods in the direction where the window doesn't have seating below it, “And you're going to stick your ass out for me.”

Lance listens immediately. The distance isn't far, but he still feels embarrassed since his pants are still bunched up at his ankles.

He wobbles over, ignoring the burning gaze he can feel from Keith as he moves. He gets to the window and leans against it, the tip of his cock smearing pre-cum on the glass. He looks down, flushes, but is immediately distracted when he feels Keith's bruising grip on his hips again.

Keith pushes him down lower so his ass is perked up in the air perfectly. He's grinning the whole time, enjoying the vulnerable position he has Lance in.

He pulls his cock out from its confinements, gripping it tightly in his hand. He's rock hard, throbbing desperately. The tip of his cock is wet with pre-cum, and he smears it in by rubbing his thumb over the head.

Finally, Lance feels the tip of Keith's cock press against his hole. He whines, low in his throat, as Keith slowly pushes inside.

His eyes flutter shut as he hears the groan Keith lets out, followed by the grip in his hair, pulling his head up.

“You're so tight.” Keith grunts out, thrusting his hips slightly more. Lance blinks and then he's filled to the max, Keith's balls heavy against his ass.

He chokes on a moan, mouth watering. His ass tightens for a second before Keith pulls at his hair harder, and he loosens up.

“Mmff… fuck me.” Lance slurs out.

Keith doesn't need to be told twice. He begins to thrust deep into him, his cock gliding against the wet walls of his ass. He digs his finger nails into Lance's hips again before slapping his ass, watching the way it bounces.

“Fuck,” Keith mumbles to himself as he watches the way his cock smoothly exits and enters his ass over and over again.

While getting pounded, Lance balances his forehead against the glass to hold himself up before using both hands to reach behind him. He spreads his own ass cheeks, giving Keith an even hotter view of his hole.

“O-oh…” Lance gasps, hips stuttering as he drips more pre-cum from his cock. Keith fucks him harder now, clearly spurred on by the improved view of his hole.

“I'm gonna cum.” Lance grits out, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Already?” Keith teases, yet he sounds slightly out of breath himself.

“Y-yeah, I–” Lance cuts himself off as he thrusts back to meet Keith's thrusts, his cock pushing even deeper inside of him. The head of his dick hits perfectly right up against Lance's prostate, and he sees stars.

He comes untouched, moaning loudly as cum spurts from his cock, getting all over his thighs, the window and the floor.

Keith watches with dark eyes, his cock now throbbing inside of Lance, his own climax slowly approaching.

Lance whines and whimpers from the overstimulation, yet he doesn't make any moves to try and get away. Instead he moves his hands back up against the glass, palms flat as he keeps himself up.

Keith's thrusts grow quicker, heavy balls slapping against Lance's ass loudly. He grunts a bit, pulling at Lance's hair yet again just to make him yelp.

“Cum in me. Please, please, Keith I–” Lance is cut off by cum flooding his ass, his words dying on his tongue as he drools slightly.

Keith pants heavily as he keeps thrusting, dragging out his orgasm as he pumps Lance's ass full of his cum. It starts to drip down his thighs before he's even done, and he can't help but stare at the view until he's finally finished.

Lance collapses, but Keith catches him easily, holding him up in his arms as his now soft cock slips free from his ass.

Lance's eyes are fluttered shut now, barely opened despite the small noises he's making. Keith just carries him over to the cushioned seating, not caring that cum is probably getting everywhere.

He's pretty sure they're still stuck in this room, so he has no real way of cleaning Lance and himself up. But, he spots his discarded t-shirt on the floor and figures that'll have to do.

He reaches to grab it and then uses it to wipe the cum off of Lance's body before he uses it on himself briefly.

He drops the shirt to the ground once he's done with it, and just simply runs his fingers though Lance's sweat-coated hair, watching as his face relaxes.

“Where's Keith and Lance?” Hunk asks at dinner time. Everyone else is sitting together, eating food goo as usual.

“I locked them in a room together.” Pidge says simply before taking a bite of goo.

Hunk and Shiro stare at her.

“The security footage cut out around an hour ago by Keith throwing his knife at it. So, they probably had sex.” She shrugs, hardly phased.

Hunk's eyes widen while Shiro coughs into his fist, now uncomfortable.

“Did, uh, you unlock the door?” Shiro asks, looking down slightly.

“Yeah, it's unlocked now. Once they're done boning they can get out.” She then smiles, “You're welcome. I know you both were also sick of the sexual tension between them.”

Hunk sighs, “Yeah, it was annoying–”

Allura finally speaks up, “Wait, were Lance and Keith pro-creating?”

Pidge frowns deeply while Hunk huffs out a laugh.

“No,” Shiro rubs his temple, “Lance cannot get pregnant, they are just having sex.”

“So there will be no baby?” Coran asks, wanting to confirm he's understanding what he's being told.

“Correct.”

Pidge looks at Shiro, “Way to assume Lance is the bottom.” She jokes.

Shiro gives her a deadpanned look, and Hunk can't help but burst out laughing.