Chapter Text
Chapter 1: La vie en rose.
Just like every other day after work, Dean drops Sam off at his place and returns to his own apartment not far away from Sammy’s. Behind him at the back seat row, lay a bag full of groceries and a pack of cold beers. Dean turns the volume up, singing along to “Back in Black” on the radio. The Impala’s engine almost rhymes with the music, making Dean shrug his shoulders slightly while driving.
Sunset coats the Impala in golden light beams, compliments its black colour in a way that people rarely see or appreciate. Dean squints his eyes and sighs, feeling totally contended with the peaceful moment, and for once he lets himself really sink into the stillness, a fleeting peace in a life that has known so little of it.
It takes Dean a few more minutes to reach his destination. It is a small 2-story apartment right down town, framed by a lush, beautiful garden, with a neat little garage tucked along side it. After parking Baby inside the garage, Dean takes out the grocery bag with his left hand and the pack of beer under his right arm, then he enters his apartment.
Getting inside, Dean is greeted with a rich, mouthwatering aroma of food simmering in the kitchen, a warmth that seems to fill both the room and his senses. He whistles, tapping his feet lightly against the wooden floor while making his way to the kitchen. “Just what I love, kiddo! What ya making for dinner?” Dean asks, placing the bag on the table and immediately unpacking the pack of beer. His eyes lay on the small frame next to the soup pot, who is in charge for dinner tonight.
The kid who is concentrating on the pot, replies to Dean with a cheerful tone: “I think today would be great for a carrot soup, so I used up all three carrots left in the fridge.” The boy turns around smiling at Dean, but his whole up-lift mood changes once he sees the half-drained can on Dean’s hand. “Oh c’mon, seriously dad?” Dean looks down to the can in his hand, then he winks back at his son: “What, couldn’t leave your old man enjoying a beer in peace for a minute heh?”
The kid lays both hands on his hip, shaking his head slightly at his dad: “Dad, we’ve talked about this many times, please stop drinking directly! You couldn’t wait until dinner or something?” Dean shrugs and downs the remaining of the beer. He plays it off by getting near the kid and ruffling his hair: “Eddy boy, you sound exactly like your ‘drama queen’ uncle Sammy, always being dramatic over nothing.”
Eddy Winchester is pushing 15 this year. He used to let his hair grow out as long as his uncle Sammy, but lately he decides to cut it short and donate to their local hospital. Eddy’s hair is naturally blond with a trace of hazelnut, standing in sharp contrast to his father’s brown. The deep tone was more visible when it was longer, though now he’s mostly just blond. Glasses perch on his nose, results of countless books and video games. Other than that, Eddy is a spitting image of his father, he inherits his father’s green eyes, especially the same loving gazes Dean spends on his loved ones.
Eddy giggles then ducks his head away from Dean’s hand. Knowing his dad’s usual antics, he stops pushing on the drinking topic and returns to his bubbling pot of soup. He sighs, his voice carries a tone of concern: “We are just worried for your health, dad. It’s quite hard explaining your eating and drinking habits to the doctors lately.” Dean tends to avoid any hospital related topics. He laughs it off, tossing the empty can into the trash and drifting toward the kitchen, breathing in the sweet, faintly bitter scent of carrots toasting in the soup. He wraps an arm around Eddy, resting his weight on the kid while talking: “Screw ‘em docs, boy. Let’s just enjoy good drinks and good foods! And I guess we will have this soup with black bread, correct?” His eyes lit up thinking about the glorious dinner he is going to have.
But not to his expectation, Eddy looks up from the pot, his palm covering his mouth: “Dad, I forgot to ask you to buy black bread…” His eyes glance over to the fridge where the bread is stored, then back at Dean: “I’m afraid we only have the gluten free left…”
Dean instantly lets go of Eddy’s shoulders, then slumps into a nearby chair at the dining table like a sulking child denied his sweets. He rests his chin on one hand and groans, but instead of frustration, there are only traces of amusement detected in his voice. “Urg… we’ve been eating those gluten-free-…” A little pause in between thoughts for Dean, his other arm swirls around like he’s looking for the word he needs. “-things, this entire week!”
Eddy smiles as he puts the rest of the herbs into the pot then set the timer. He turns back to his dad, who is now sulking back in the chair like a kid denied his sweets. He taps on his dad’s hand playfully: “I assure with you that my soup is good enough, you wouldn’t spot the differences between each type of bread! Besides, I think you should take a bath now, dinner would be ready by the time you are done cleaning, Dad.”
Dean gives his kid the signature loving gaze, ruffling his hair into a messy wig: “Atta boy!” Eddy giggles, pulling away from his dad’s hand. The man grins, then leaves the kitchen table to get to the bathroom upstairs.
Half an hour later, Dean steps out of the bathroom, freshly washed and in high spirit. He goes back to grab the phone in his bedroom, blasting “Smoke on the Water” at full volume and slipped it into his pocket. He dries his hair with a towel and sing along with his phone. There’s another voice joining in – Eddy’s – echoing through the house. Dean grins, tapping his feet to the rhythm and playing his invisible guitar as he made his way through the table, where the kid is hoping around and plating with playful energy.
Suddenly, Dean stops singing when he gets close enough. He turns off his phone, swinging it on the table. He asks Eddy, his jaws dropping in shock: “Kiddo!! Seriously, no meat?” His voice cracks and shifts toward a more high-pitched tone: “I’ve been workin’ all day and you really feed me only rabbit foods?”
Eddy stops dancing, he turns around with a silly grin glued on his face: “That’s for all the beer you’ve gulped down today dad!!”
Dean cracks his knuckles, grinning even wider: “You are so done, smartass! Come here!” He closes the gap between them with just one stride, his arms swing around preventing the kid from running away.
Eddy yells out like a chipmunk as he tries to dodge his dad’s reach. But it is impossible for a kid to outrun an experienced hunter, and it’s not even after three seconds that Dean catches the kid in his grip. He quickly gets Eddy’s neck between his bicep and forearm, drilling his knuckles on the kid’s head. “And this is for all those rabbit foods, boy!”
He grunts to the kid’s ears, forcing him to crack up and wiggle in his grip while tapping out frantically: “Dad I’m sorry I’m just kidding AHHHHH-“
Dean shoves on the boy’s head one more time before releasing, leaving Eddy rubbing his neck and gasping for air. The boy starts panting fast, trying to catch his breath and still giggles non-stop. He coughs dryly while pointing at the oven: “There’s beef tacos and an apple pie, I sneaked them in earlier…I was just messing with ya…”
Dean widens his eyes and his mouth when both ‘beef’ and ‘apple pie’ were mentioned. The previous grumpiness and annoyance are now switched to an ecstatic mood. Dean snaps his fingers, sticking his tongue out: “Lemme help preparing those dishes then!” Without a single more second wasted, he opens the oven and takes out a tray of baked beef tacos and a piping hot apple pie. All the flavors really feel like heaven to Dean, making his eyes dreamy and his lips pursing into a silly grin of satisfaction.
It takes them just a few moments to prepare the table, with some plates, personal bowls and cups, the steamy carrot soup pot and of course the star of this meal – the tray with beef tacos and apple pie – according to Dean. They settle down at the table while Eddy serves the soup to his dad first. Dean rubs his hands together before diving into the meal he’s been looking forward to the whole day.
Dean has this habit of stuffing his mouth while eating, like a squirrel storing nuts. He dips the whole piece of bread to his bowl, soaking it with the soup and shove the whole thing in. Dean grins when he tastes the sweetness and the soothing scent of roasted carrots.
“Kiddo, I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again for as long as I could, that you are a really good cook! Hell, even this ridiculous gluten-free crap tastes good!” While on his way to another mouthful bite, Dean glances over and compliments the kid.
Eddy rolls his eyes at Dean, part of him wants to say something to show his appreciation, but mostly he just wants to laugh at his dad’s goofy table manners. But instead of bursting out, the kid decides to play it off: “You only compliment this rabbit food because I did prepare some meat and a pie alongside, right?” The boy narrows his eyes while biting on his own piece of bread, getting on to a small battle of wit with his old man.
Dean almost chokes on his bread while being called out. He coughs and looks back up at the kid, stuffing even more gluten-free bread in his mouth: “ ‘Course not, smartass! I love food, I love carrots! Why would I lie? Nah!!” But he couldn’t mask the lie with his natural senses of humour because his whole body is always screaming ’I hate rabbit foods!!’, making Eddy pinch the bridge of his nose trying not to laugh.
“What? Don’t believe me? I’ll down every single carrot bit in this soup, kiddo.” Dean picks up his fork and loads as much carrot as possible on it, then proceed to shove the whole thing in his mouth.
Eddy slums his back to the chair behind, looking so done with his dad’s antics. He holds his hand up, a hint of concern in his voice whether Dean is really shoving the fork full of carrot bits in or not: “Dad, you don’t have to prove your point that far. Watch out or you’d get choked please.”
Dean loves playing around with his kid, mostly because Eddy has the same concerning look on his face just like Sammy back in the day when Dean did something borderline stupid. Dean gives the kid an evil grin and also a wink when he finally pulls the fork out and just nibbles on the bits slowly. “Kid, you look too grumpy for a fourteen kid. Relax a little, ey?” He rests his elbows on the table, leaning his weight on it to get closer to the kid who is sitting across from him. Eddy rolls his eyes to the ceiling, sighing with a hint of mock irritation, letting Dean giggles in triumph across the table.
Dinner goes on for a few silence and peaceful minute, until Eddy shifts his attention back to his dad: “So how was your day, Dad? Any dumb customers?” While chomping on the rest of the carrot on his fork, Dean raises a finger up telling the kid to wait for him to be done with the veggies. He looks up at Eddy and starts venting: “There were a lot of questionable car owners today, kiddo. Like, holy shit, can you imagine someone owning a ’64 Porsche 356 and never gives a damn about changing its fuel filter?”
Eddy covers his mouth in shock and disbelief: “You aren’t exaggerating right, Dad?” Dean chomps on the carrot even faster to keep up with the story. “No, why would i? It’s a miracle that the car didn’t explode on the way to our shop. Jesus Christ.”
Then he flicks his gaze up at Eddy, his voice gets softer than when he was talking about the customer: “So… did my little gremlin behave at school, heh?” He raises an eyebrow up at the kid while reaching for the tacos. Eddy coughs, he swallows the bite and tries to play it off: “Nothing much, I did my homework and not causing any troubles for Ms. Johnson…” But his eyes never meet Dean’s.
Dean knows this look like the back of his hand. It means that the kid really did something and felt guilty about it. He takes a mouthful bite of the tacos, really admiring the flavor. But he just keeps on speaking mid-chew: “Son, you are not telling the whole thing. Don’t lie to me, or you will be grounded until next week.”
The kid coughs again, seeming visibly startled for a second. He looks up from his portion of food, his voice sounds timid: “I skipped P.E class to sleep-“
Dean flicks on the kid’s forehead, although there’s no real heat in it, making the kid yelp. “Little smartass. Don’t do that again, ever.” He glares at Eddy, his eyes fill with affection but also strict attitude. “But how do you hide from your teachers then, because I don’t receive any phone calls complaining about your smartass.” Dean taps on his phone screen, checking the call history and mailbox, which apparently contains nothing similar to a teacher’s complaint mail or their missed phone call.
Eddy puts on a sly grin while rubbing his forehead: “No I won’t tell you, or else I’ll be screwed at school! Just know that no one caught me, and that’s all that matter right?” Dean slightly shakes his head and sighs, half frustrated and half amused at the kid’s mischief. But Dean isn’t exactly against this behavior because he really sees part of himself in Eddy, the way his kid messes around with everybody.
Dean winks at the kid, sharing the loving gaze with his son: “You are an actual gremlin, you know that?” Eddy laughs at that wholeheartedly: “I’ll take that as a compliment!”
A beat of silence as they both get back to their food. Then Eddy looks back up at Dean. “By the way, how is the progress between you and Uncle Castiel, Dad?” The question is just too nonchalant and casual to be a normal one, not to mention the sensitive topic of it.
Dean chokes on his drink after the sudden change of topic. He narrows his eyes at the boy, his voice goes lower into a defensive mode: “Kid what the hell are? We are just friends, really good friends, what progress are you talking about?.” He sets both his hands on the table, the loving gaze slowly shifts into a defensive stare.
Eddy finishes with his soup, then he gets to the tacos. He casually takes a bite and chews calmly, almost like he’s having something up his sleeves that his dad couldn’t foresee. “I mean you can’t just stay single forever, dad. Everybody needs someone in their life, apparently.”
Dean swats his hand dismissively: “I can totally handle myself, kiddo. And I’m also having to deal with your smartass, the shop and my pain-in-the-ass brother, that’s enough headache for just one day already, thanks for your concern!” He taps a finger on the table, with a little too much force like a judge bangs the gavel demanding silence at court.
The more Dean talks, the further he looks away from the table. “Besides, all the women at shop really swoon around your old man all the time, I could just get one if needed to.” He mutters, more to himself than to the curious kid across from him.
Eddy frowns at Dean, his mischievous manner slowly fades away. “Dad, you know I’m not talking about them right? Uncle Cass is a good person- I mean angel, he’s really nice to us.” His voice is stern and certain, because he knows he’s stating facts.
Dean rubs his eyes in frustration, clearly getting irritated with the kid’s piercing gaze. He slams the cup on the table a little too hard, his voice sounds like a grunt: “Kid, how about you finish your damn food and we are not having this conversation about my non-existence love life with Cas?” He looks like he’s going to get really mad by snatching another taco and stuff half of it in his mouth, his nostrils slightly flare like a dragon.
Eddy tries to hide a sigh and looks back down to the tacos plate. He grabs one, holding it in his hands, but he’s not eaten it yet. He knows better to not provoke his dad when he’s not in the mood to talk, and neither is the kid’s appetite right now. The dinner suddenly shifts into a mute movie, with only the sound of Dean chewing.
Dean’s mouth gets drier the more he chews his food. He doesn’t expect the conversation to go down hill like this, and neither does the kid.
Feeling bad for lashing out at his son, Dean slices the apple pie in half and places it on Eddy’s plate. He clears his throat and talks to the kid in a softer tone: “Look… just eat your damn pie, okay?” Because even when he’s grumpy and irritated, Dean Winchester will still spoil his kid.
Eddy glances back at his dad. He can see the wrinkles on Dean’s face is getting more relaxed than earlier. He murmurs to Dean, his voice barely above a whisper: “Yes sir.” He smiles slightly, pursing his lips while observing his dad’s expression.
“Now what? Eat your freaking pie before I make you clean Baby’s tires with a toothbrush for real this time, kiddo!” Dean snaps at the kid, although the silly grin on his face totally sends him off. Eddy straightens his back in his seat and starts nibbling the taco he’s been holding, acting like swallowing the bits is really painful. The kid glances over Dean, making sure his dad is watching.
Dean sighs, mostly because he still can’t get over this theatric act from the kid. He rests his elbows on the table, leaning his weight in with a smug grin, clearly enjoying the drama from Eddy. “Damn, and I thought Sammy was the most annoying kid around this age.” He pauses a little, considering his words. “So how about this? Since you are suffering so much, I will give you an off-dish duty for tonight?”
The kid’s face lights up instantly. A silly grin tugged in the corner of his lips: “You are really giving me that?” He places the taco next to half the pie on his plate, clapping his hands in a cheerful manner: “I love you, Dad! Dean Winchester is the best Dad ever!!”
Dean rolls his eyes at the kid’s dramatic applause. He takes a sip from his drinks then talks to Eddy while placing the cup down gently: “But don’t get too smartass-tary kiddo, this is just a one-time thing.” He chuckles when the kid’s face instantly drops. He just knows his son a little too much to notice every details.
Eddy stares dumbfoundedly at Dean for a solid three seconds, then he shrugs casually trying to play it off: “I mean a win is a win, I will accept it either way.” Dean laughs out loud, ruffling the kid’s hair. Dealing with his troublesome teenage son is tricky, but he’s always up to challenges. His smile reaches his eyes completely, showing his affectionate side toward his beloved.
The dinner goes on a little while, until the kid has to leave half of his portion because he’s too full already. Dean smack his lips, but he tells Eddy to get to his room to do homework, leaving the dishes for him as he’d promised. The kid leans in, tries to get a hug but instead of giving in completely, Dean tickles him mercilessly, making Eddy yelp and even shed some tears while fighting his way back upstairs.
Dean glares at the boy, although there’s no heat in it. He starts storing leftovers in multiple containers, then carries everything else toward the sink. It takes him not too long with the dishes. Dean quickly wraps it up, then he takes another beer with him to the living room. He plops right down to the couch, turning the television on and wait for his favorite tv series “Doctor Sexy”. He’s been watching the show for too long to remember which episode he’s at, but it doesn’t matter.
When the clock announces 9.pm, the opening credit of Doctor Sexy starts to roll on the screen. Dean snaps his fingers and opens the beer. “About damn time!” He takes a swig, holding the beer in his hand, clearly enjoying his alone time. But just about a few minutes into the episode, he quickly dozes off.
The phone jolts him awake with an incoming call. Dean startles, curses out because he drops some beer on the couch. He smears his lips, sliding the phone screen to take the call without even checking who’s calling.
“It’s Dean, who’s there?” Dean’s voice sounds a bit grumpy, mostly because he’s still sleepy.
“Already asleep, Dean?” The voice from the other end of the call sounds emotionless, but familiar to Dean.
“Cass, stop acting like I’m still young. 42 is a big number for human already!” Dean rubs his eyes, trying to shake off his grumpiness. Although he sounds snarky, he doesn’t mean it in a bad way. A little bite wouldn’t hurt Castiel anyway.
“Mind if I come over?” Cas huffs on the other end, then asks Dean with a more engaging voice, ignoring Dean’s grumble.
Right when Dean is about to answer, Castiel just materializes in the living room without ending their call, making Dean startle once again and dropping a little more beer on the couch. “Jesus Christ, can you not do it every time Cass?”
Castiel folds his phone after hanging up for Dean. He sits down next to Dean, a little too close. Because, well, he still doesn’t (want to) understand personal space. He lets his trench coat’s tail cover the beer stain and just stares at Dean for a moment.
Dean rolls his eyes and downs the rest of the beer at once. He places the can on the table with quite a force, not even mind hiding his current irritation toward the angel. Dean folds his arms in front of his chest, slumming back and glancing over: “What’s your business, Cass?”
Castiel sighs. Normally angles don’t show much emotions, but the more he befriends with the Winchesters, the more he learns about such a complex concept. His sigh toward Dean is mostly just amused and endearing. His gaze softens the longer his eyes rest on Dean’s.
“Eddy has just told me that you are having trouble with your sleep again. Obviously that was a lie.” Castiel speaks to Dean in a calm manner as Dean quirks his eyes. A tint of pink on his cheeks, but Dean looks away from Castiel to hide it.
“Oh that brat’s so done-“ Dean pushes himself up and clearly wants to lecture his kid about the unnecessary mess, but Cas catches his wrist and pulls him back down to the couch, cutting off Dean’s grumbles.
He shakes his head, his breath sounds steady and calm. “I guess the kid just worried about you too much. But i do want to meet you, Dean.”
Dean is caught off-guard by Castiel sincerity and honest words. For a few moments, he doesn’t know how to respond to this. He looks down from Castiel’s piercing sky blue gaze to the grip on his wrist. The warmth from the angel’s hand is so tempting for some reason that Dean can’t explain, and he still doesn’t want to give in to it, not yet.
The deafening silence between them makes Dean feel uncomfortable. Dean pulls his hand back and clears his throat. The guy cracks knuckles on his thighs, trying not to maintain eye-contact with the angel. For quite a long period, there’re only faint sounds from the tv.
Dean knows that he is a treat to any ladies that laid their eyes on him. He is proud of himself that no one has ever left his place without feeling on cloud nine. He always thinks that he’s satisfied enough just by making other happy.
Dean has never prioritized himself. He believes that he doesn’t deserve help.
Unlike flirting with the ladies, Dean can’t handle his feeling for Castiel. Because Dean believes that good things shouldn’t happen to him.
And Castiel knows it.
During all their years knowing each other, The angel had confronted Dean a lot on his unhealthy behavior toward himself, but Dean just retreated every time Castiel or anyone close to him brought it up.
So instead, Castiel has learnt when and how to help Dean by observing Dean’s body. How his chest raises and falls, how his eyes dart around, how his head goes lower,… Instead of waiting for Dean to accept (which could take him centuries if he could live that long), Castiel tells Dean that he wants to do it and never mentions ‘help’.
Right at this very moment, Castiel catches a glimpse of Dean’s hesitation and confusion. He gets closer to Dean with a decisive slide and intertwines his fingers with Dean’s.
Dean is startled for the third time within just a few minutes tonight. His face gets even redder than earlier, and his heart is even screaming in his chest, something that he’s never experienced before.
“Wow-wow- Cass, where does all of this-“
Cas touches Dean on his cheeks, cutting off the man’s outburst.
“Dean, breathe with me.”
The angel’s stern but kind words swiftly whisper into Dean’s ears. Despite feeling very unease with this new level of intimacy, Dean still follows through. He tries his best to match with Cas’s breathing pattern.
“There you go.” Cas gives him a warm smile once he’s calm down. “Feeling better?”
Dean nods slowly. For a moment he thinks of backing away, but instead he chooses to let himself enjoy Castiel’s company like this. Their thighs touch each other, the soothing body heat from Castiel makes him feel safe and… loved. For just a blink of an eye, Castiel can catch the inaudible ‘I love you’ in Dean, something that he’s witness a thousand times before.
Castiel breaks his grip on Dean’s hand. He lays on the couch and leaves his left arm open.
“What are you doing man?” Dean sits there, dumbfounded with his jaws slightly drops. But then he realizes what Cas is doing, so he holds his hand up at the angel: “No I don’t want to do that Cas! Not the small spoon!!”
Castiel shrugs casually: “Dean, I’m helping Eddy checking on his dad.” He pats on the spare space on the couch, inviting Dean in.
Dean chuckles at this ridiculousness. “Can’t believe you, Cass. Using my own kid as your excuses like that…” Dean gets all rosy on his cheeks again, so his weak accusation doesn’t even make the angel impressed.
Dean bites on his lower lip. His mind is racing whether to give in or not.
“I guess… slacking for a day doesn’t hurt.”
A smirk tugs on his lips, then he leans in and lays on Castiel’s arms. Although the position is quite uncomfortable, he still rests his head under Cas’s chin, wrapping the angel around with his own.
For once, he feels relaxed.
For once, Dean Winchester experiences the feeling of being loved.