Chapter Text
The first time it happened, Jayce didn't know what to make of it. A gloved hand slid up his clothes thigh under the table at the gala. Glancing over to see Albus Ferros acting as if nothing was happening. Smiling and laughing at Professor Himerdinger going off about this or that, Jayce couldn't really remember that part of the evening. Just the thumb rubbing the inside of his thigh and the burning desire for Viktor to be there. Not locked away in his dorm or in the lab. Waiting for his partner to return only to complain about the fact that he had to leave.
He remembers the hand sliding higher, and higher and higher… frozen in place as his blood flooded his ears. Fingers gripping the table tightly.
Did no one see? Did no one care? Or am even worse possibly that Jayce didn't want to linger too long on. Did they know but they're just so used to it that it was just a normal Friday evening?
It hurt. That's all he could remember. Fingers digging into the soft flesh of his hips as tears streamed down his eyes. Biting down hard on the glove shoved into his mouth as the touch burned.
Touch was a sacred thing, in Runeterra. Lord and Lady Giopara jaws lined with gold from each other's touch, hands of lovers glowing in soft pinks or blues. Touches of adoration and love. A brilliant orange when friends would forget to put their gloves on and slap each others bare backs in greeting or in hugs.
Jayce never saw marks like this before. Black and acrid. Like a metal worked too far or a tree burnt to a crisp. They hurt for awhile after that night. He didn't mention it to Viktor. He couldn't…
The man's arms were gorgeous. Covered in a rainbow from his parents and siblings. A strand of his hair stark white from where his mother would always brush it back when he was a young child. A body painted with the love of those who treasure him.
It only made sense for Jayce's first marks to be black. A boy born wrong to a world that only saw him useful because of his brain. Now, for another thing.
"You're silent today." Viktor says, suddenly looking over Jayce's shoulder as he jumps, dropping his pen with the movement, ink splattering against his school work before looking up at the older man.
"Just focused."
He could tell Viktor didn't believe him. Jayce didn't even believe himself. It was a horrid excuse. He talks, Jayce likes to talk. Even if it's mutters under his breath during work, he talks. Trying to figure something out or reading the work aloud. Jayce's vocal cords were always working.
"Focused on… hydrologics? Really? Fascinating topic, Jayce." Viktor says with a roll of his eyes, the icy feeling of his uncovered hand shocking Jayce through his shirt as he points to a paragraph.
"This is absolutely wrong. It's a pump, reservoir, valves, and actuators. Not or. You know this."
"Oh… yeah you-you're right." Jayce mutters, grabbing the pen and crossing the error out.
"Jayce, you're acting weird. What's wrong?"
"I told you, nothings wrong. Why do you think something is wrong?"
Viktors face remains flat as he stares back at Jayce, moving so he's leaning a hip against the desk, crossing his multi-colored arms across his chest. "Horrid lie. Try again."
"I'm just… tired. I drank a lot last night."
"I recall. You didn't come back to the lab like you promised me."
"I know. And I told you that I am sorry about that, got you sweet milk and everything. I just… wanted to go home after it all."
It was a perfect moment. A golden opportunity to rip his shirt up and pants hem down and show the mangled marks on his hips and beg Viktor for his forgiveness. That he froze and didn't know what to do. That he was scared and alone and spent an hour in the shower of his apartment scrubbing the scars until the flesh was raw and on the verge of bleeding. That he sat on the tiled floor staring at the water running down the drain. That that suit is currently in the trash collection of his apartment buildings basement.
He always was such a coward.
Viktor nods as he pushes off the desk, patting Jayces shoulder with his left hand as he turns to go back to his own space.
"Alright, whatever you say. You know I don't judge Jayce. If you ended up fucking someone that's fine."
"I- what?"
"What? You're young, bright eyed, full of…well… yourself. If you happened to bring someone back I find no harm in that. I understand the… allure of physical intimacy."
"Oh my god, just stop, ew. Nope. I'm not having that conversation with you." Jayce says, turning back to his work as Viktor stumbles over his own words.
"I'm simple saying I don't care, Jayce! You are a fine specimen of a man and anyone would be lucky to have you."
Any humor Jayce could have dug up vanished in an instant. The room felt like it tilted on its axis as the marks began burning again. He knew Viktor was talking, he could see his mouth moving, yet no words were coming out. So he sat and just looked at him.
He honestly couldn't still be talking about sex, could he? This had to be the longest discussion they had about the topic and it was about Jayce and his non-existent sex life.
"-ce? Jayce?" Viktor says, snapping his fingers in front of him as he blinks back, looking up at the man as he leans heavily on Jayce's desk. "Did you hear any of that?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Where are you going today? Your head is clearly not here." Viktor sighs as Jayce rubs his eyes tiredly before nodding. "You should go home then, rest. Can't have you blowing up the lab again." Viktor teases, smirking at him before turning to his own desk, using the tables as crutch.
"Vik, I'm fine, honestly. Just a little tired—" He tries to argue before Viktor cut him a glare. One that gave no room for arguments and that his word was final.
It was so fucking annoying.
"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow then?"
Viktor nods with a small wave, sinking into his chair with a groan before continuing his own work as Jayce gathers his, sliding it into his satchel.
It wasn't a full lie, in actuality. Jayce was tired. Sleeping on his back was always impossible for him.
The second time was scorched between his shoulder blades. Chest presses down hard against the fine leather of Boswell Hollorans desk. Hot, labored breath fanning across his back from the large man. He told Jayce that Albus praised him for being so well behaved.
Pliant. He had said. With a cunt that rivals a young virgins.
Jayce couldn't reach it with a rag in the shower, so he just cried.
Groceries:
- Coffee. So. Much. Coffee.
"Since when do you wear shirts here?" Axle asks, leaning against the table as Jayce pours over the schematics Lady Giopara requested. The man's shoulders practically glowing orange from fellow forge workers. He was a kind man, told Jayce to tape over binding in the forge. Better for your lungs.
"I have a class later today, just stopped in."
"Stopped in and started messin' with my prints?"
"Yep. If you wanna keep working here." Jayce snaps, flipping the paper up as he looks at another blueprint. He was ticky today. Living off of way too much coffee and not enough sleep in any position. His hips finally stopped burning, but his spine and thighs were a different story. He was tired, in pain, and so, so angry.
"I— what? You're threatening to fire me over a joke?"
"Maybe I am, Axel! These designs are shit, what the hell were you thinking?! They don't even fucking make sense!" Jayce yells, slamming his hand flat against the surface as the larger man straightens up.
"You look here, boy. If you used your fuckin' eyes you'd see it's the draft. Not the final product, dumbass. Second off I don't know where you find the balls to talk to anyone like that Jayce. Everyone here has been nothing but kind to you and if you think that shit flies under my watch? Under Chiefs watch? You got a whole new perspective on life to figure out."
Jayce sighs as he drops his head. God, he was so tired…
"You're right… I'm sorry. I just… I've been dealing with a lot lately."
"Don't we all. Heard the Gioparas been prancing you around like a pony here lately. Too much alcohol?"
He scoffs a laugh before straightening up, his eyes couldn't help but fall to the soft pink marks on his biceps.
A lovers touch. Those were new.
"Something like that. I'll uh… I'll let them know that a design is in process. Should buy you a week or two to get a prototype."
Axel nods before clamping a strong hand on Jayce's shoulder and neck, gloved thumb landing on his cheek. "You go to sleep. Not the lab, sleep. I'm sure that partner of yours can survive one day without you."
"Who, Viktor? Let's be real here, Axel.. I'm the one who can't survive without him."
A bright, loud laughter escapes the man as he slaps Jayce's back "Is little Giopara in love? With a Zaunite no less!"
Jayce felt his cheeks flush as he nods, staring down at the gold tips of his boots. "Yeah… it uh, it wouldn't work out anyway. I don't think he's into guys. It's fine, I'm good with being friends with him. We work well together."
Axel stares at him for a moment before shrugging, dropping his hand. "If you say so. Just lettin' you know, kid. Denial is a hell of a drug."
The tenth time Jayce doesn't even remember fully. Simply it was after Viktors exile, a party a classmate invited him too. Something to distract him from everything that happened. He needed it. To get out of the lab for once and get his mind off of Viktor.
He remembers waking up in a bed that wasn't his, a sheet thrown lazily over him and a throbbing headache. Everything ached, really. But his brain felt like someone took an ax to it.
It was slow moving to make it to the en suite, hand pressed to the side of his head as he staggered from furniture to furniture blindly, sighing when his feet moved from warm carpet to cool tile. Feeling around until he met the basin of the sink, turning the tap on before opening his eyes.
His heart sank to his gut at the sight.
His chest bore the mark of two large hands across his chest along with his ribcage. A smaller mark was branded into his shoulder and forearms where they were held behind his back.
The plethora of new marks were less surprising — he was surprised no one bothered touching him there yet honestly — it was his hair.
His eyes popped even brighter against the pitch black strands against his forehead.
Jayce felt his knees give out from under him as he falls to the cold tile, curling in on himself in the middle of the dark bathroom as tears begin falling from his eyes.
"Vik… I'm sorry…"
Ten years.
Ten, long, exhausting years that seemed to grow worse and worse, especially when the Ferros paid for his top surgery but denied anything for his lower half.
Ruins the fun, don't you think? A man with a pussy. Well worth the investment.
Jayce wanted to scrub his brain with straight bleach after that. It made him so sick to think about longer than two seconds, actually ending up throwing up in the kitchen sink. It was supposed to be a time for excitement and celebration for Jayce. All he could think about was the Doctors seeing his body riddled with black.
Jayce Ferros, a man riddled in scars from hands that held no love or care. Born wrong in every way, the precious little plaything for the Clans of Piltover.
He was too much of a coward to stop it all though.
The hard wood dug into his knees as his arms are pulled forward and up, muscles aching at the position as he chokes around the cock shoved in his throat. Tears staining the fabric over his eyes as his body screams at him.
The angles were wrong, the voices were wrong, the hands were too soft, gripping his hips too hard. It always hurts for him, but not like this. He was never stretched this far, a hand pulling at his hair, hot breath fanning against his throat from underneath as a third set of hands scorches new marks on his side.
Jayce knew it was pathetic, but all he could think about in that moment was Viktor.
"Albus, what do you think? Some heels, a corset, some lingerie and a nice dress? Make her all pretty?" A deep voice says beside Jayce, a leather bound finger brushing his cheek as he attempts to jerk away, the hand in his hair ripping up in response.
"She's be the prettiest bitch around that's for sure." Albus laughs, his voice muffled from the cigar he most likely was smoking.
"Ferros… your bitch is too tight. Give her a little something next time, yeah? Feel like my dicks about to be ripped off." The man behind Jayce growls, his pace unfaltering as more tears fall from Jayce's eyes.
"Jayce be a good whore and relax before I have to do something drastic, understand?" Albus sighs before continuing his conversation with someone else in the room.
All Jayce could do was whimper in response.
He spent the next day sitting in the shower. Staring silently at the grout lines as his head throbbed. Wishing to cry, but unable to find anymore in him.
Viktor would be kinder…
"We should let the dogs on him." Holloran says from his chair, swirling the ice cube in his cup as Jayce freezes, eyes flying open as Albus's hand stills in his hair.
"What was that Boswell?"
"The dogs. Since they're so good at fucking our bitches I don't see why not." The man says, Jayce's jaw ached so much as he attempted a glance up at Albus Ferros, tears pricking his eyes as he seemed to consider it for a moment before shoving Jayce's head down even more.
"I'm not too keen on sharing my toys with beasts."
"Your toy fucked a Zaunite, Albus. It's hardly any different."
Jayce felt anger swell in his chest at that, arms straining against the ropes holding them back as Albus hums, fingers pulling Jayce's hair as he pops off, drool sliding down his chin as he glares up at the man.
"What's that pet? Do you have something smart to say?" He asks, grip tightening on Jayce's hair even more as he shouts in pain. "Defend your little boyfriend? That little slum rat? It's an embarrassment the Gioparas allowed you to work with him. Even more so you let him fuck you."
"Fuck you, Ferros." Jayce spits, voice rough and raw as the man's face darkens, jerking Jayce and slamming his face into the marble of the mantle.
"Act out like that again, pet,. and I might just take Boswell up on his suggestion. After all, a bitch is only as good as the master that breaks her. Now look what you've made me to, eh? My fireplace is covered in blood as is your face and we have company coming over for you. Pathetic." Albus hisses, shoving Jayce to the ground before waving a maid over.
"Get it ready for tonight. Give it the pill too. I need my toys on their best behavior, after all. And you" he says, turning to Jayce as he stands, adjusting himself as Jayce glares up at the man.
"You will be punished properly for this misbehavior. Count on it."
"Be a good pet, and do what toys are good for." Albus growls, shoving Jayce down on his elbows as he stares at the woman lounging before him, legs spread wide as she cocks an eyebrow up, delicate fingers spreading her cunt open before him.
"Well? It not going to eat itself out, toy. Chop chop."
Jayce sucks in a deep breath as he closes his eyes. Leaning down as embarrassment floods his system at the laughter around the room.
As if they couldn't have drug him any lower…
Look at that. Can't even eat a cunt right.
A bolt of electricity shot up Jayces leg from the arch in his foot, causing him to groan in pain as tears slipped from his eyes.
"Just you wait, boy. That shimmer pill should be coming in soon."
As is on cue, Jayce felt his mind grow light and fuzzy around the edges as he groans, eyes slipping shut as euphoria floods his body in a way he never felt before. It was all consuming, it was exhilarating, it was a slice of heaven in this hell that Jayce's life had turned into behind closed doors.
Still the Defender of Tomorrow to the people. Smile bright and eyes full of hope for a better and brighter tomorrow. But here? He was no more than a toy of the Clans. A pretty plaything to be used as they seemed fit. An oddity. A bragging point to their friends who haven't received an invitation to fuck the great Hero of Piltover.
Personal preferences aside. Person boundaries burned before your eyes as his drooling mouth is pushed even deeper between the woman's legs.
He couldn't find it in him to care anymore.
He was a toy. They were his owners.
At least they were kind enough to give him shimmer this time.
Sobbing through his own orgasms through the night. The first ones he's had in awhile.
How thoughtful of them.
It was pathetic, really. Standing in the bar, facing the room with that cocky smile Jayce always manages to put on. No matter what happens, no matter how many times Viktor slams his metal fist into his face, the smirk always returns. Smile despite the pain. Something Lord Giopara told Jayce very early on in his with them.
He, fortunately, had the evening free. Much to his surprise. The great looming walls of his workshop grew too suffocating. He hit a brick wall with the new piece Albus ordered and he was tired. Eyes aching and back begging for relief from his hunched position.
So he was here, at The Lilac House in lower Piltover, bright eyes scanning the room for someone, anyone to distract him from the ache in his chest and the shaking of his hands. The Shimmer he took earlier wore off hours ago. The little pale purple pill, sat underneath the tongue to dissolve. Made most of Jayce's life somewhat bearable these days.
How thoughtful of them.
"Well, if it isn't Jayce Ferros as I live and breathe…" a man says, leaning on the bar 0top next to Jayce as he smiles.
It doesn't reach his eyes.
"The one and only. Who do I owe the pleasure?"
"Wilbey, Victor Wilbey. I've been following your work for some time. How you solved those crystals all by yourself? Inspired."
"Well, I wasn't technically—"
"And your work on those canons on the walls? Especially after what the Machine Herald did. Don't think I didn't hear about you sling shooting it halfway across Runeterra!"
"Actually, he just—"
"I'm just- sorry if this is weird but I'm just such of fan of you and what you do for the people of Piltover. You're just… you're amazing."
All Jayce could do is stare at the man for a moment as he continues to sing praises for him. It wouldn't be so bad, would it? They'd be red, sure, but anything to break up the ocean of black that covers Jayce's skin. Even for a moment before it's back and he's punished for them.
Fuck it. Let the alcohol do the talking.
"Do you want to come to my place?" Jayce says suddenly, setting his over the other man's hand, smirking up at the man as he cuts himself off mid sentence.
"I- what?"
"Well… you approach a publicly gay man in a gay bar… unless I'm making a complete ass of myself right now."
"No. No you're not at all." Victor says, a sly smile spreading across his face as he looks Jayce up and down. "I just thought it would take a bit more than this I'm not gonna lie."
"You got me on a good night. So what do you say, Handsome?" Jayce coos, sliding a gloved finger underneath the man's own as his smile grew.
"Lead the way."
It was hot, feeling Victors cotton covered hands gripping at Jayce's waist as he sucks and bites on his throat as he struggled with the keys to his apartment, deft fingers working on latches and buckles with the efficacy of a surgeon.
Shit, he might be. Jayce didn't really bother getting to know him. He was just buzzed, already down on his luck and craving something other than black on him. Even if it's the touch of a man he most likely would never see again. Let alone stay after the fact.
It was fine, something simple. No strings attached for one single night. Jayce was allowed that much, right? Just for one evening?
That can't be too much to ask for.
Jayce was used to heavy, he was used to hearing fabric ripping in the heat of the moment. Falling into bed with a stranger wasn't that different. His face buried in Jayce's neck as more and more of his body is revealed to the man. Shirt ripped off with Victors face still buried into Jayce's throat, as he sucked and bit at the tanned skin.
"V-Viktor…" Jayce gasps, fingers clutching the sheets as the mans hands slide down his chest, working his belt free and tossing it to the side.
Brilliant red lines clash against the black on his torso, fading away near his waist.
Finally… something new.
"Gods above, let me look at you…" Victor mutters against Jayce's throat, sitting up before any protest could fall from the Defender. The man's eyes growing wide at the sight before him.
"I— I can explain."
"Oh… you really don't have to…" Victor mutters, his eyes darkening as he rips Jayce's pants off with a yelp from the man. "Black is… such a beautiful color."
Jayce's eyes widen as Victor grabs his ankle, his grip tight and strong. Panic bubbling in his chest as the mans eyes trail all across his body, tongue peaking out between his lips to wet them slightly.
"Y—what do you mean by that?"
"Just… never would have thought the great Defender of Piltover had such a dirty little secret." He mutters, releasing his grip of Jayce's ankle in favor of dragging his nails up the man's leg, wrapping around the hem of his boxers as Jayce shakes his head.
"No… no, I think— I think you should leave."
"Leave? After I came all this way, you're just going to kick me out?"
"Victor—" Jayce starts before his glove is slapped across his face, causing him to gasp at the unexpected sting. Shrinking in on himself again as the man above him sighs, sliding his own white glove on one hand, setting it against Jayce's throat before pushing down.
Wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Jayce felt panic grow even more as he attempts to claw at the man's hand, fingers slipping from the fabric as he continues to choke him. His free hand working on the belt of his slacks.
"No, I don't think I will. I'm getting what I came for. You look like a little plaything anyway, Ferros. I was always so gentle with my toys growing up."
He froze. What else could you do? Head shoved into the sheets as hard as possible for… Jayce knew he was staring at the grandfather clocks face. He just couldn't… remember the time. Just the sound of clothes rustling and a sharp slap to his ass before the door closed.
It took another hour until he was in his shower again, wondering where it all went wrong.
The Ferros denied his moving request. There was no point in it, they had said. The apartment had no mold. He was fine.
Then the cramping unlike any he had felt before. Sharp like a knife stabbing into his gut and twisting slowly. Oh so slowly.
Then the blood. So much blood.
Progress Day came around so much faster than it really should have. Jayce staring at his many prototypes with not enough work done to any of them to even remotely present. That was going to go over well…
He wasn't fully expected to create anything, luckily. Just present the award ceremony and welcome the bright new eyes to the Academy. Something he's done a million times before. This one felt different though.
Speeches went without an issue, the Hero of Piltover flashing his brilliant smile as his hands shook by his sides. He knew exactly why, too. The last three times the Ferros neglected to give him that dandy little pill they used to. Punishment for the rumor of him taking a stranger back home. He still remembers what Albus said to him that night, gloves hand on his jaw as he glared at the bruises the stranger left on Jayce's throat.
If you believe you can wander, then maybe I allowed your leash to grow too long.
Jayce never handled being suck in bed well.
Tonight though, it was difficult for a new reason, melded into the old ones. The moment he stepped off stage, papers were thrust into his face and photographs taken with violent flashes that made his eyes hurt. He signed them all with a smile.
Welcoming the gratitude from the citizens praise and thanks for protecting them against Zaun and the monsters that lurk in the shadows.
Anger always flared in his chest, he knew what monster they spoke of. It was always the one they were terrified of mentioning. For fear of a metal maniac sweeping them away and stealing their organs.
As if Viktor couldn't get organs a multitude of other ways. If he even needed them.
"Mr Ferros?" A small voice says, grabbing his coat tail tightly when he passes, the small tug cutting his concentration as he turned, smiling at the young boy and kneeling down, metal cover tapping against the ground.
"Hello, bud. Happy Progress day."
"H-happy Progress day. I drew this for you." He says, holding up the paper for Jayce, taking it gently and smiling at the crude drawing of him standing proud with his hammer. His body was a giant rectangle. Was that really how children viewed him?
"When I grow up, I'm gonna be just like you!"
All noise vanished with a snap, his smile dropping as he looks up from the drawing to the kids wide smile, his front teeth missing. Couldn't have been older than when Jayce was taken in by the Gioparas.
"Don't, kid. Be better than me."
It was all he could say before standing, the drawing crumpled in his grip and tossed into an overflowing trash can as he made his way back to his apartment.
Emberfilt was cold and slimy, like it always tends to be. Water black with pollution falling from pipes overhead, the dim flow of half operational neon lighting the brick road as Jayce stumbled down the alley, grabbing the cast iron fences and gates along the way, wiping the wet on his clothes before stopping before an arched metal door, the camera up in the corner whirling in curiosity as Jayce staggers slightly. Tipping his drink back before slamming his fist on the door.
"Vik— Viktor, open the door. I wanna talk to you." He calls, setting his head against the cool metal as he taps lightly against the surface.
"V, please I just… I want to hear your voice. Okay? Even if it's through the com. Please say something." He mutters, eyes closing as tears slide down his cheeks. The ache in his throat replaced with the burn of too many drinks and tears begging to be shed.
"Vik… Please, Viktor… just open the door."
The silence felt like a million bricks all at once. Anger curling in Jayce's stomach as he staggers back, lifting the bottle "I said open the fucking door!" He yells, sending the glass flying right as the door slides, the object slamming into Viktors metallic chest as he stares down at the man on his stoop.
"What do you want, Defender?"
"I— I just—" Jayce could barely strong a sentence together before the world tilted hard and he feels his legs giving out. Strong arms wrapping around him as a heavily augmented voice curses underneath its breath.
Dammit, Jayce… what have you done to yourself now.