Chapter Text
(Strange. Stupid. Weird. Wrong. Different.)
(A puzzle piece that doesn't fit in. A card lying on a chess board.)
(An imposter trying to fit in.)
From the day Nep- Poseidon was formed, he knew he came out wrong.
Different.
The others would still smile at him and wave when they saw him but sometimes… When they thought he wasn't looking he could feel pity in their gaze.
(And maybe it wasn't pity. But his mind, feeling so wrong and different, couldn't decipher the difference between it and sympathy.)
Cronus would be the most unbearable out of them all. While Zeus would try to at least properly hide it and still talk to him normally, Cronus would always try to baby him.
It was…
Quite an unpleasant feeling.
And maybe Zeus was better in that regard because of their duels. Maybe it was because the biggest giant could see how he was in a fight and at least didn't try to baby him constantly like Cronus did.
(To be honest, he is the youngest of the giants… Besides Cronus and Zeus were teenagers when he was formed.)
Yes, he would still ask how he was after their duels. Especially if he hurted him in the process. Zeus would always make sure that he patched himself up properly and went resting. He would even task Ouranos with watching over him.
(Which is not necessarily. At all! Poseidon can take care of himself!)
(...he desperately ignores the times he trained until passing out.)
…At least Zeus was mostly nice about it. He wouldn't hover above him like Cronus usually does.
Poseidon appreciates that he cares. But sometimes… Cronus gets too much. Especially when he continues to constantly ask if he's okay and talk and talk.
It's exhausting.
So… Where was he?
Right.
He came out wrong.
Poseidon would get tired of talking to someone even if usually he talks a lot. He can't stand feeling even slightly hot (that's why papa put an enchantment on him. It helped a lot but it also showed how wrong he is because even though Ura is also an ice giant, he quite liked the warmth), he can't stand to have anything on his feet, can't stand when someone touches him (except for Ura and papa Helios, maybe even Zeus (but only in their duels)).
He hates how some clothes just feels wrong on his body. How it itches and hurts (it became a problem a lot of the time and papa teached him how to use his magic earlier than he usually would, because it's easier for Poseidon to make his own clothes, than to go through a hundred variants made by Helios and have none working). Poseidon can't stand the feeling of his hair on his neck and doesn't like when the clothes he wears are too exposed. In fact, he would like it to show no skin so that he wouldn't need to touch any new… texture.
And also he's just wrong because he loses track of his thoughts a lot and they go by so fast that his mouth physically can't keep up if he tries to voice every one of his thoughts. It's frustrating and so annoying, especially when he starts to talk about astrophysics and he wants to tell everything. He really does!
But as he talks, he gets sidetracked by all the new stuff that pops up in his head and he needs to immediately tell or else he will forget…
Wait.
Oh.
Oh, no.
…he got sidetracked again…
Right! Poseidon was making a list of why he's wrong and strange.
(Ooh! Lists! Poseidon loves making lists and organise everything. Especially when it comes to the seashells he made!! He loooves the way they shine when papa’s light gets on them! And they shine a lot of different colours too! The variation is so biiig and Poseidon just loves the way so many colours can coexist-)
…not again.
Stop. Getting. Sidetracked you stupid head!
See! That's what Poseidon is talking about! His head gets messy with thoughts that shouldn't be here when he's thinking about one thing.
Papa told him that when he was smaller it was almost impossible to make him stay in one place (it still is, Poseidon just makes himself stand even if he feels like exploding from how much energy he has). The only ones that could actually make him stay in one place were papa himself and Ouranos.
(But Poseidon thinks there was someone else. They weren't here for long and he didn't ask where they disappeared to. He only knows that papa looked really sad after… Erebus? (he thinks that was this giant’s name, but he can't be sure since he was really small at the time) disappeared. No one really ever told him what happened and Ouranos doesn't seem to remember the oldest ice giant even though he's older than Poseidon.)
(Seeing how hurt and sad papa was at the time and how stressed Cronus and Zeus were, he tried to cheer them up a lot. Thankfully it worked and Poseidon managed to bring smiles to their faces. Papa even stopped distancing himself from them all and laughed more.)
(It was nice to be helpful.)
…sidetracked again.
Poseidon tiredly breaths out.
Sometimes he hates his head.
And he's also weird because he has pearls growing out of his hair.
It's strange.
(Poseidon ignores the sad feeling this thought brought to his core.)
(It's fine.)
Poseidon perks up as he feels a stronger gravity move towards him. Oh, right! He has a duel planned with Zeus today. (And obviously it's Zeus moving towards him because only the biggest giant's gravity is stronger than his(not counting papa but it's not like he ever leaves his orbit so it's obviously not him). Cronus comes close, but Poseidon is still stronger.) In fact they have a duel every six of Poseidon's rotation on his axis and every 9.6 rotations of Zeus's own axis.
So, every 96 hours!
And also that's another weird thing about him. He loves numbers a lot. And strategies. Especially strategies. Oh, wait!! Right, he planned a new strategy to try out today on his and Zeus's duel! A big grin spreads on his face as excitement takes over him. Poseidon happily flaps his hands, spinning around to face his coming partner in duels.
Also he's really weird because he can't contain his excitement or sadness or anger and would flap his hands, hit himself or pull at his hair. The same thing happens with his shark tail. He would wave with it or move it really fast when his emotions are really strong. Buut that doesn't matter, because Poseidon already tried to stop doing that and he couldn't so he just gave up!
“Zeus!” he happily waves in greeting at the giant, vibrating with excitement. His tail wobbles from side to side as his partner in duels gets closer. Zeus smiles at him, waving back.
“Poseidon!” warmly greets him the giant. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?” Zeus looks around, almost expecting to find someone else. “I don't see Ouranos with you…” Trails off the biggest giant. For a few seconds Poseidon blankly stares. Is he supposed to say something? With how expectant Zeus is looking at him it's almost as if he's expecting an answer to some question-...
Oh! Poseidon blinks, finally realising that Zeus is asking where Ouranos is.
“Usually Ura hangs out with Cronus during our duel days and then goes to nap…” Thoughtfully hums Poseidon. “Maybe he decided to stay with Cronus for some more time?” He suggests, tilting his head to look at Zeus better. Poseidon's brows furrow as he doesn't spot any confirmation in the older giant’s eyes. “You didn't see them?” he asks curiously.
Zeus looks away, his smile wavers. “We…” The giant coughs awkwardly. “...had an argument with Cronus some time ago and I haven't seen him since…” With the way Zeus looks so awkward and uncomfortable it's obvious that he probably headed headfirst into this argument. Poseidon hums quietly. He probably said some things on emotions and now feels bad but is too stubborn to apologise.
Also Zeus doesn't have the courage to face Cronus right now.
(That's another weird thing about him. Poseidon figures out things like that too easily but still couldn't understand that Zeus was asking him a simple question.)
(...he's not stupid, is he?)
Poseidon slightly shakes his head to get rid of his thoughts. No, stupid head, right now is not the time to get sidetracked. He is talking with Zeus! It's bad when he doesn't listen. He's being a bad friend. Poseidon blinks, smiling to calm down the worry in Zeus's eyes at his prolonged silence.
“We can visit them together if you want to!” sincerely offers Poseidon to his dueling partner. Something calms in Zeus's eyes at that. The older giant smiles warmly at him.
“Thank you, Poseidon.” Zeus dips his head in respect. “I’d like that.”
Poseidon's smile turns wide. He feels happy helping.
Something warm blossoms in his core at being appreciated. It's a nice feeling that he can launch on to, to not feel the disappointment from realising that he might not have a duel with Zeus today in the end.
(That's also why he's wrong. He reacts too strongly to any changes in his usual day. Sometimes he would be unable to talk and sometimes he would cry without stopping.)
(He hates it when things suddenly change.)
“Let’s go!” Poseidon's smile is wide on his face as he takes Zeus's hand and rushes in the direction of the feeling of Cronus's and Ura’s gravity, but his core feels heavy from his thoughts. He doesn't like being different. He doesn't like to be wrong. But most of all…
He hates their pity.
“Woah! Please slow down there, Poseidon.” nearly begs Zeus, sounding disoriented. Just as he asked, Poseidon stops. He giggles from how disoriented his partner in duels sounds, immediately focusing on this feeling rather than looking back at his thoughts.
“Sure!” happily chirps Poseidon, smiling at the older giant. “We can go slower if you want to!” He looks at the way Zeus is still catching his breath and can't help but let out another giggle.
“You… are always so fast…” pants the giant. “...especially… in our duels…” Zeus looks funny, thinks Poseidon, smiling. Then his brow furrows as he remembers that usually his partner can be just as fast. Finally, he registers that the hand he holds is bandaged.
Oh.
It probably has to do with his and Cronus's argument…
Hm.
Zeus was letting out steam on some asteroids and hurted himself in the process again.
Poseidon breaths out, the sound sad and disapproving. “Were you training after your argument with Cronus?” The silence after that question is enough of an answer on its own for Poseidon. He breathes out again, smiling sadly. Zeus looks away in shame.
Without a word, Poseidon brings the giant’s arms closer to him and begins to heal the broken skin. Zeus relievedly breaths out, relaxing. It's probably because of that cooling effect my magic usually has, muses Poseidon.
After a few minutes of silent work, he quietly asks. “Does papa know?” Zeus shakes his head. Hm. So he doesn't… Silence stretches between them. “Why didn't you ask him for help?” Poseidon asks curiously, already knowing the answer but wanting confirmation anyways.
“He told me to stop doing that and I feel ashamed for not listening to him…” murmurs Zeus, squirming from discomfort of saying that out loud. Poseidon smiles softly.
“...you should talk with Cronus. And you know that despite what papa says he would've still helped you.” Murmurs Poseidon, healing the injuries on Zeus's knuckles.
“Also…” he adds after a few minutes of silence. “You should talk your anger out, Zeus.” Instead of destroying innocent asteroids. He doesn't add but it's still heard by the older giant. Zeus ducks his head, ashamed, but still thanks him for the advice, promising to do just that. Poseidon smiles with satisfaction as the injuries disappear completely from his duel partner's knuckles.
“Welp!” he announces cheerfully, pulling his hands away. “Now we should go. And you will talk to Cronus.” Poseidon narrows his eyes, pointing at Zeus. His duel partner smiles softly.
“Thank you, Poseidon. I will.” Zeus dips his head in respect at him. At least he didn't try to ruffle my hair like Cronus… thinks Poseidon, relaxing as the older giant didn't initiate any contact. A warm smile blooms on his face. It's nice to be respected.
Poseidon hums quietly. “I can feel their gravity, so you can follow me!” He announces, heading into the needed direction. He stops as he doesn't feel the biggest giant's gravity follow. Poseidon's brow furrows and his smile wavers. He looks back at his duelling partner. For some reason Zeus's expression is surprised. “Hm?” Poseidon quietly hums, prompting the older giant to talk.
“You can feel their gravity all the way from your orbit?” Poseidon's brow furrows at the question.
“Isn’t that normal?” He asks confusedly. Zeus blinks away his surprise.
“Uh… Poseidon.” he slowly starts. “Even I can't feel your gravity most of the time.” So? Poseidon's eyes ask, still just as confused. Welp, right now that doesn't exactly matter since they need to go to Ura and Cronus.
“I’m sure you'll be able to do the same if you train!” cheerfully says Poseidon, mistaking the surprise in Zeus's eyes as sadness. “Now we need to see Ura and Cronus!” before he gets sidetracked again. Zeus seems to want to say something else but in the end the older giant must've realised the importance of talking to Cronus and didn't add anything.
Poseidon spins around in the direction of Ura’s and Cronus's gravity. He hums happily some melody he made up and slowly (because Zeus asked him to) guides the older giant. Zeus walks alongside him. Poseidon feels the nervous energy going off of him.
“You already had arguments with Cronus before.” He states. Zeus looks at him and nods once, obviously nervous from the idea of talking to Cronus. “You’ve made up before. Why would it be different now?” Poseidon curiously tilts his head at his duelling partner. Zeus blinks at his sure tone and then warmly smiles.
“Yeah. You're right.” the older giant looks away with a lovesick smile on his face. Poseidon softly smiles, already knowing what Zeus is thinking about. Of course about Cronus. They are always so lovely with each other, but get pretty embarrassed when talking. Poseidon doesn't really understand this whole romance thing but he's happy for them both.
They continue their journey in silence and soon they reach Cronus's orbit.
Excitement bubbles in Poseidon as he spots Ura. His cousin, his brother. Poseidon's tail wobbles from side to side as Ura looks up at him. His brother smiles softly with that shy and happy smile he usually has when he feels content. That means that Ura liked to spend time with Cronus! That's good!
Speaking about Crounus… They are sitting together with Ura and the second biggest giant is braiding his brother's long hair. Poseidon happily waves at them in greeting, his tail clearly showing his excitement.
“Poseidon!” exclaims Cronus with a happy smile on his face. “It’s so good to see you! How are y- …oh.” The moment when the second oldest giant notices Zeus is obvious. The way his happiness dies down and something sad replaces it is enough of an indicator. “Zeus.” Coldly greets Cronus with a dip of his head.
Even though he tries to act distant the sadness in his eyes is quite obvious in Poseidon's mind. He wonders if the others see that or if he's wrong again for seeing through Cronus.
“Why don't you two talk?” Poseidon cheerfully asks, taking his brother's arm to give Zeus some privacy. Ura blinks at him, but easily understands his request to go and gets up.
“H-huh!?” exclaims Cronus, eyes wide. “B-but what about your duel!?” Right… Poseidon hates when things change but it's really important for Zeus to talk with Cronus and he doesn't want to take up their time and be a burden. So, he swallows the bitter feeling in his core and brightly smiles.
“I’ll be fiiine, I have Ura! Besides, you have a lot to talk about!” Chirps Poseidon, desperately trying to ignore the worried glances all of the giants send his way. Ura’s hold on his hand tightens. Poseidon's smile turns more genuine at his brother's care.
For a minute Zeus stares at him, silent. The worry in the oldest giant's eyes doesn't disappear and he seems to signal Ura to keep an eye on him.
(Well, that's just rude! Thinks Poseidon. They do that as if I'm not here!)
His brother nods with determination in his eyes and that seems to satisfy Zeus as he smiles at them. “Thank you for your help, Poseidon. I’ll look for you after our talk with Cronus and we will have a duel.” The tension in his core lessened gradually and his smile became bright from looking forward to finally trying out his new strategies. Poseidon’s expression is beaming. His tail wiggles from excitement. Cronus seems to relievedly breath out, although the reasons for that remain unknown for Poseidon.
(Actually he knows. Cronus feels bad for upsetting him. He doesn’t want to take away their duel time with Zeus because he knows how important they are to Poseidon. How important it is for him that his days are planned and none of those plans are ruined.)
(But Poseidon chooses to ignore that knowledge. It’s not like they really care.)
(They shouldn’t. Not with how weird and wrong Poseidon is.)
(...It’s probably just pity anyway.)
“Ouranos. You are welcome to watch our duel.” and even though Zeus's voice is kind, something serious is hidden in it. Ura nods again with the same determination.
…that was just a ruse for Ura to watch over him after their duel, wasn't it?
But still that realisation doesn't stir Poseidon from his excitement. In fact it grows, since now he would be able to even show his brother his strategies!! He hums happily, intending to go back to his orbit. Ura stops him by taking his hand. Poseidon looks back with a confused expression on his face.
“Don't run off, please.” quietly asks his brother. Poseidon smiles at him. “Alright!” he chirps happily.
“And also…” Zeus looks back at Cronus. His voice instantly becomes smaller and awkward. “...you too are welcome to join.” In fact he almost sounds scared to face any kind of rejection from Cronus. Poseidon giggles as he recognises the look in the second biggest giant’s eyes. Oh, he knows what's coming next. Cronus sighs, rolling his eyes fondly at Zeus.
“Of course I will, dear.” Murmurs Cronus with an amused smile on his face, already knowing what will happen next. And, surely, just like it was expected, Zeus blushes so badly that he can't even get any sound out. Poseidon giggles.
“Well!” The smallest giant hums cheerfully. “We’ll be leaving you two to talk now!” Poseidon spins around to go in the direction of his orbit with his brother. “Bye!” He waves to the still furiously blushing Zeus and an amused Cronus. “Bye, Cronus and Zeus.” echoes beside him Ura. Cronus waves back at them and his brother smiles shyly.
And as they back away enough to not disturb the oldest giants, Poseidon spins around to face his brother. “So! Did you have fun, Ura?” he asks with a cheerful grin. His brother smiles at him. “Yeah. It was fun.” He murmurs softly, gripping his hand tighter. And just like that his brother began to talk softly about his time with Cronus. Ura’s voice was quiet and soft. A small smile was on his brother's face and that was enough to tell Poseidon that he had fun.
It's nice to listen to his brother. Especially because he already got tired from talking.
Poseidon smiles softly as they sit together in his brother's orbit, the furthest from papa. (He doesn't like how every day he feels the way they both get further and further from the orbital resonance Zeus and Cronus reached. If this continues he'll have to-). But then Ura looks at him with concern and Poseidon instantly smiles. Maybe he'll think about it later (If he won't forget).
But right now…
He needs to be there for his brother.
The problem is, while he decided that, his mind still continued to wander further away from the conversation. Poseidon is getting sidetracked again.
He hates it.
But he can't stop it.
(It's strange. So very strange. Why does despite Cronus always babying him, he still respects him? Why does Zeus respect him? That just seems… strange. And undeserved.)
(Poseidon violently shoves down the warm feelings this thought brings.)
Why does Zeus think that he's deserving of respect?
(Deep down he knows. Zeus is stronger than him. No one could ever beat him. Only papa. And him.)
He doesn't deserve respect.
He's strange and wrong and-
(Despite being younger than Zeus, Poseidon managed to beat him again and again.)
Poseidon isn't strong.
Not really.
(All because of the strategies he used. He managed to come up with something new every time and that's what made Poseidon win even though Zeus is stronger.)
And- and it's not like he's smart.
It's probably just luck. Or maybe Zeus wasn't going full strength on him.
(But Poseidon knows that it's a lie. That he's lying to himself. Zeus was struggling against him. The oldest giant was going full strength against him and still, even if not always, Poseidon managed to win.)
(He knows all of that deep down.)
(But he can't accept it.)
(Because Poseidon is weird.)
As he feels two gravitational fields get closer to him and his brother, Poseidon shoves those thoughts away. Zeus and Cronus are coming!
Then that means they will have a duel in the end!
Poseidon smiles happily, his tail wobbles from his rising excitement.
“Ura, Ura!” interrupts Poseidon Ouranos, taking his brother's arm with a bright smile on his face. “Zeus and Cronus are coming! Let's go!” He gets up. Ura lets out a surprised squeak as Poseidon drags him after himself. Then he laughs softly.
“Yeah. Let's go.” quietly agrees his brother, happy that Poseidon is excited.
Because unbeknown to him, Ouranos was watching his eyes. The way a smile stays on his brother's face, yet… Poseidon's eyes get heavy and empty.
And as his brother finally smiles brightly, Ouranos quietly swears to himself.
He will always look out for his younger brother.
(How sad that this promise was broken and forgotten.)