Archive of Our Own ^beta

1. 

Mira was an angry child.

If she dares to describe her childhood self, she dares to only remember the anger.

(Not the pain or the hurt; not the reject or the loneliness)

The first good therapist she got at ten-years-old had identified the overwhelmed feeling in about three sessions.

"Anger is your reaction to the unfairness, to something unjust your self must protect itself from. But, Mi-rae... anger can't be the only thing you are".

So she decided to not be just anger. One couldn't only be an emotion that bit and scratched her insides, that was no life.

Mira decided to be a dancer and worked her ass off to be the best at it. Where anger felt like an all-consuming flame, a destroyer of all your surroundings and a cage of furious actions; dancing was... life. To create, to move, to express. To feel and breathe around her emotions.

When her father hit her, when her mother insulted her, when her brother ignored her; she breathed around her feelings and just danced. 

The day she got her classification she had felt... irritation. Because she taking care of people? It was a joke made into a sentence. Mira didn't know care or gentleness and she was sure that she didn't want to clean snot from noses and give kisses to hurt knees for the rest of her life. 

(Mira was anger first and person second, no matter how much she pretended otherwise)

And when she met the girls... Mira was an asshole just because she could.

She had been cruel to Zoey just once. They had been sparing, Zoey was cleaning the floor with her and Mira used more strength than necessary- to win and shower in the taste of victory - making their youngest fall roughly to the floor. And Zoey's bottom lip had wobbled in a way that Mira knew that tears were coming and she let her mouth run with venom.

"What? Are you going to cry to your mommy because of a little fall? The baby needs me to kiss her boo-boos?"

Mira had felt guilty the second she was done. When Zoey had run away, Mira had followed her and it took the Little to throw every single one of her stuffies to Mira's head to hear her apologies.

With Rumi... there had been a lot of instances of Mira being... a plain bully. As a not angsty teen, she had come to digest the truth of her actions. Rumi never did anything to her, just her existence felt like an attack on Mira.

Rumi was perfect. At singing, at fighting, at dancing. Beautiful and graceful. And Mira hated her with all her heart for it. In her younger mind, there was no difference between her and Min-ho; two perfect children that had a bright future and all the love in the world. So she poked all the sensitive parts she could find hoping to make Rumi bleed.

(Mira didn't remember what it felt not to bleed out)

"Wow, your mom is much better at dancing than you," she said after they watched some old Sunlight Sisters videos.

"Did you learn to be a person from an alien manual? Smile like there's nothing wrong with you," she said when they were getting their media training.

"What do you know about reading people? You haven't had a single friend in your whole life," she said when Rumi had tried to comfort Zoey.

And Mira saw that it hurt her, but Rumi never reacted with more than a dim on her eyes. It was infuriating, how there was no retaliation; not harder hits when sparring, not a shove when walking, not venom words spat out in a mutter.

Observing the quiet girl Mira found her utmost weakness not in her dead mom, absent dad or lack of friends; her weakness was Celine. 

(All of Rumi's insecurities and shortcomings would always lead to the woman that raised them)

The woman was odd in a hard to describe way. She was strict and stern, also gentle and warm; giving praise was unusual for her, but she could point out all their strengths and weaknesses. Celine encouraged them and corrected them, listened to them when they shared personal information, but usually didn't share anything back. 

And how she was with them was different from how she was with Rumi. She hugged Zoey when she correctly sang a full rap in Korean, but just nodded when Rumi nailed a high note in a song. When Mira had been tired and frustrated after training, Celine had hugged her shoulders and chuckled calling her grumpy, when Rumi felt frustrated Celine always told her to control herself. 

Rumi was starved for the woman's praise and closeness, anyone with eyes could see. The girl acted like a starved and leached dog, the collar not pinning her anywhere but Rumi still refused to move for the slim chance of getting some scraps of affection.

"It must suck that she likes Zoey better, huh?" Mira muttered while both girls stared at Celine laughing at something Zoey was telling. "Makes me wonder what's so wrong with you that even the woman who raised you doesn't like you..."

She had expected anger. Irritation, annoyance or fury. 

Mira got none of that.

Rumi had just looked... so broken. She had hugged her stomach as she curled into herself.  Rumi in all her perfection and greatness... had never been so small.

For the first time Mira had wondered... if she had looked like that when her parents hurt her. Small, sad and helpless. Her lungs froze when she realized she had been acting like them, hurting someone hoping to get a certain reaction.**

And it was the last time Mira had tried to hurt her girls.

(Sadly, it was not the last time she hurt them)

2.

After the long hiatus, their morning started with three girls staring at a phone as if they were in a war conference. Rumi's phone, specifically.

They had chosen- all three had agreed - a picture of Rumi hugging Kimchi, while Zoey hugged Jami and Mira was in the center hugging both of them into her arms. Cute, real but not too personal, all of them together as a unit. Under it was a mushy piece of writing about being yourself and discovering new things about you... bla bla bla.

The important thing was that it was a post about Rumi being a Little.

Another post was already written from Huntrix's official account giving the statement from the team, waiting to be published after Rumi decided to hit 'post'.

"This is going to change everything..." Rumi said in an anxious whisper.

Zoey touched her hand. "That doesn't have to mean anything bad... we're going to give a chance to new beginnings," she said with warmth and encouragement.

Mira was the last one to speak.

"We're going to be with you for every step of the way," she promised.

Rumi sighed and covered her fist with her sleeves. "And it plays well with the 'Comeback' album too".

Mira grumbled. She had not been in favour of turning Rumi's new Littleness into a publicity thing. But the workaholic in their group was tranquilized by it, instead of feeling used like a normal person would.

"Should I...?" Rumi started before her mouth clamp shut.

Mira analyzed the girl with a stare, to put just enough pressure for her to talk. "No more secrets," she reminded their leader.

Rumi hugged herself, like every time she was thinking about-

"Should I tell Celine?"

A cold bucket of a reality check fell into them. Mira and Zoey shared a quick glance, choosing with their eyes who was going to defuse the bomb Rumi had thrown at them. Their maknae squared up, noticing the anger in their oldest's eyes. Rumi needed to be listened to with impartial ears.

"Do you want to tell Celine first?" Zoey ventured into Rumi's wishes, a safe topic all in all.

Rumi shrugged. "We haven't talked since..."

Since that day. The day Rumi had gone to Celine and something happened, but still hadn't shared what had transpired between them. The girls guessed that nothing good.

Mira's expression soured. "She doesn't get to dictate anything about you anymore, Rumi," their youngest gave her a look of reproach. "What? It's true!"

She kicked Mira's shin. "A softer approach maybe?" Zoey muttered. She smiled to Rumi. "Bobby can tell her... or Mira".

Mira scoffed. "Not you?"

Zoey pouted. "She's scary sometimes".

Rumi's eyes ping-ponged from girl to girl and she fidgeted with the sleeve on her hands. Her eyes dropped to her lap, absorbed in picking between her options, knowing the last say about her life would always fall to her. Most of the time it felt liberating, now she just felt enclosed in her decisions. She tugged Mira's sleeve in the middle of the older girl's rant, pausing her discussion with Zoey. 

"Can you tell Bobby to call her?" Rumi mumbled, shy in her request.

Their oldest gave her a nod. "I'll call him right now".

First day back from the hiatus. Close to completing their first task.

"Good to be back..." Mira sighed, tired already.

And it was only the beginning.

3.

Mira loved her girls exactly as they were. That was a fact.

Zoey, with all her bubbliness, forgetfulness, chaos and pure energy. 

Rumi, with all her awkwardness, workaholism, kindness and always-on passion.

And if someone asked, Mira would never say that she wished for them to be any other way. Good or bad, they were hers to love and care for. Not a burden, but a privilage. No one else but her, knew that sometimes in the darkest part of her heart she just wished- hoped- wanted- needed for them to know when to quit.  To know their limits and make people respect them and take them seriously. 

Zoey couldn't take her ADHD medication because she had forgotten where she had put them in the first place. Irony in the first degree. She was vibrating and jumping from activity to activity with increasing frustration at her lack of focus. Their maknae had that frown that indicated she was beating herself inside that creative mind of hers.

(Mira should have paid attention that anxiety always made Zoey more forgetful. She should have taken better precautions. She should have been a better caregiver, for fucks sakes it was her whole job-)

Shouldhave-shouldhave-shouldhave

Rumi- not wanting to be left out the Poor-Decisions-Awards(tm) -had taken a suppressant without consulting anyone. Stuck between headspaces because her body had gotten clean of them in the three months hiatus. She was miserable, taunting the edge of a drop, her panicked mind searching for some comforts but their stubborn leader had decided to hide all her comfort objects so Mira couldn't force her to bring something to calm her outside their penthouse. One of those self-appointed punishments that Mira thought Rumi was finally over with.

Mira should have taken care of her girls, but clearly neither girl trusted her with them.

(Mira would always live under the shadow of the things she should have been)

And here they were, the mess of them, fifteen minutes from an interview on the edge of collapse. At least they looked cute and comfy. All of them were in varsity jackets of different colors with their initials on the chest and Huntrix's name and logo on the back; Rumi's was yellow with black sleeves put on but not closed; Zoey's was tightened around her hips, green with cream sleeves and gold details; Mira's was blue with white sleeves and simply hang on her shoulders. Zoey wore her cargo pants, Rumi wore streetwear sweatpants with cloud details on the sides and Mira some high-waisted black jeans.

"Drink some chamomile tea, Rumi. Shake all the energy out, Zoey," Mira reminded them while stretching, ready herself to start her breathing exercises to calm down.

Mira wasn't worried about the interview. The host was a kind woman- a caregiver too -that had always stuck to their approved questions and spoke with a calm tone, giving them space to talk with a charming smile. All in all, a safe enough person to make their first appearance with. 

But Rumi was nervous, her body screaming the ball of anxiety that she tried to contain, preparing to hide behind a mask the moment the cameras were on them. Their sweet Zoey always emulated their leader, so she was fidgeting and moving, trying to soothe herself before she had to force herself to do the hard job of being the charming and joyful maknae that she pretended all the time to be. 

It hurt to see. Which was why the next words escaped her.

"We can always reschedule," she said.

Both girls turned their heads with apprehension and anger.

"What are you saying, Mira?" Rumi said between her teeth.

Zoey's eyes were wide and fearful. "Because of me?"

Oh, boy. She had two different problems to deal with. The feral hissy kitten and the scaredy turtle full of guilt. She opened her mouth.

"Five minutes, girls!" Bobby's voice sounded behind the door.

"Yes, Bobby!" the three girls said in unison.

Mira held her hand up for Zoey to take and she gripped her like a lifeline. The caregiver had to use a cream on her glands to mask the pheromones because both of her Littles had asked to not be small on this interview and some part of her screamed at the inability to calm them down with the build-in system in her body made to comfort them. So normal touch it was.

"No, Zoey, it's not your fault. Honestly, I feel unease. Maybe we tried too soon and we need more time before an official appearance," Mira said in an even tone, words chosen carefully to not upset anyone.

Rumi scoffed. "How much more time? At this point we will never leave the house!"

Okay, hissy kitten now. 

"Rumi-" she started.

"No! You don't get to use that mushy tone with me! We're doing this!" and she escaped out the door, before she could say anything else.

"Two minutes, girls!" Bobby showed his head. "Rumi seems full of energy!"

Mira pinched her nose. "Be ready for the interview to be done early, Bobby".

Bobby blinked. "Oh... you think...?"

Their oldest nodded. "Let's go, Zoey," and she pulled her by her hand.

They stood next to Rumi, who is still fuming a little, a second away from stomping her feet. Mira simply grabbed her hand and their leader puffed her chest out with indignation, but upon seeing their expression something shifted and she proceeded to then let out a sigh.

"Thirty seconds!" someone yelled.

"Together, right?" Rumi whispered.

Mira and Zoey smiled. "Together," they promised.

The host was saying something before presenting them, it kind of flew over them.

"-you love them... Huntrix!" Hae-in said and that was their cue.

Masks on, smiles on point, they let go of their hands and waved to the small public of twenty or so people- one of their requests -as they got close to the couch. They bowed in practiced ease and sat down when the host indicated to do so, after some applause. Zoey in the middle.

"Welcome again, to 'The Ocean Quiet Corner'; it's been a long time," the woman smiled.

And the three girls knew their scripts well enough to say their practiced answers with ease. There was a small talk about 'the fake breakout', their hiatus, a hint to an upcoming album, Rumi's skin patterns- thankfully they are not iridescent to the normal eye - until they arrived at the whole reason for this interview.

"Things have been changing rapidly for you, huh?" Hae-in asked, giving them the space to speak.

"We are still getting used to everything," Rumi recited with a practiced smile. 

"It's kind of exciting," Mira continued.

"Or more like nerve-wreaking!" Zoey completed, fake laughter out of her lips.

The room laughed with her, as anticipated. Mira wanted to throw up.

"By now you're the talk of Korea, Rumi. A lot of truths have come to the light... the last Instagram post had caused an uproar. How has everything been going with you?"

Rumi chuckled. "We all know that the industry is not exactly kind to anything out of the norm, so it was a hard choice to show certain aspects about my personal life. But I'm glad to show my true self with the Hunters and the world; we all should be free to be ourselves in our lives," she said, indoctrinated to say the least problematic thing while also putting out fires.

Did they know that there are still days where Rumi wears hoodies to hide? That some nights if Rumi looked at her reflection she couldn't help but flinch? That sometimes their presence made her look at them with distrustful and hurt eyes?; Mira couldn't help herself but wonder, because the only thing she could see was a web full of lies, lies and lies.

"-it must be an adjustment, being misclassified for so long and learning this about yourself so late into the race," the woman said, to then look at Mira and Zoey to invite them to the conversation. "How have you been dealing with this as a group?"

Zoey's first. "We didn't expect it," lie "but it has been smooth sailing," lie "we love each other and lean into each other, and that support makes every hard time easier to deal with," some truth and some lies, Rumi blinked at the words that weren't exactly on the scripts. 

Their maknae held Mira’s knee trying to calm her down before her lines.

"It's been good. I like to-" this isn't in the script and Rumi tensed, notable just for the other two. "I like to take care of them, protect them and be loved in return. I couldn't imagine my life any other way," Mira admitted, changing the atmosphere to a rawness and vulnerability unlike her usual.

Hae-in stared, perplexed at her words. "Has this been a change for the better, then?"

Mira showed for a moment the smile she only gave her girls; the one where her eyes softened, her brows relaxed and her mouth curled naturally. "Absolutely".

"How do you manage to balance idol life while being a caregiver?" Hae-in continued, having Mira's attention for now.

Like shit, some part of her wanted to say. But she didn't want to kill Rumi or Bobby from stress. Now, she was supposed to say something on the lines of, the company helps me and everything is perfect.

"To deal with not being in perfect equilibrium all the time," she began, while Rumi's breathing started to speed up at the unscripted answer. "Sometimes the balance leans into our idol life, busy with practices, trying new ideas, talking about concerts... sometimes it leans into caregiving, when someone is sick, when we're tired, when they feel... safe".

Zoey's smile turned a little shy. "You are really good at balancing everything".

Mira blushed, nudging their maknae with her shoulder. The public aw'ed at the not planned scene and Hae-in gave them a soft look.

Zoey scratched her nose, a confused frown appearing for a blink-and-you-miss-it moment. But Mira always had her eyes on those moments, with two girls that had a habit of appearing fine when they weren't. She gave herself a second to think and-

Oh.

Mira had used a cream to mask her pheromones. And no one had told the other caregiver in close proximity to do the same. But if Zoey reacted-

"Which new part of your routine has been the easiest to handle, Rumi?" the woman asked in a kind tone. And Mira saw that Hae-in self-examined how she spoke after a wince; soft, gentle as if to not scare her, inviting and slow, giving her a space to fill it with her own words.

Perfect tone to lead a Little to drop.

Everyone turned to Rumi, with her big eyes and fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket- something Big Rumi never did in public -the girl stared around her; the lights were blinding and felt like they were millimeters away from her eyes, there were a lot of people that she didn't know and they seemed like big shadows. The clothes she wore were fine but her hair was tightened too much, it felt as if someone was pulling it. 

Rumi didn't know where she was. Before a whimper could escape her lips, Zozo grabbed her hand and Mimi looked at her with concern. Of course she wouldn't be alone; they would never leave Rumi, they had promised.

"Um-" Rumi tried to speak, she was pretty sure she was asked something and you were supposed to answer when someone asked you something. It was a good thing to do and Rumi always tried to be good. "Hhm... I dunno..."

Mimi spoke- Rumi noticed for the first time they were using the same jackets in different colors - with a tone she never had heard before, not directed at her at least. "Thank you for your time, Hae-in. It was a pleasure to meet again".

The woman in front of her that smelled really good, not like Mimi, but good enough, answered a bit scared. "Of course! HUNTR/X everyone!"

The world of shadows clapped and Rumi covered her ears. Mimi grabbed her shoulders and made her walk- not carrying her, which made Rumi a bit upset -until she saw Bobby's worried face. Everything was turning to be very overwhelming and tears started to fall as more people surrounded her. She felt herself wetting her pull-up when Mimi finally picked her up and Rumi clinged to her neck, her nose trying to find a nice place to breathe but it felt wrong and weird, making everything even worse.

Then they got into a room and it was... quiet.

Mira, for her part, was angry but tried to settle on any other emotion in the world to tend to Rumi. 

Everything hadn't been 'smooth sailing' as they said; they had discovered that while Rumi could seemingly go from Big to dropped, there were a lot of aspects that didn't translate from one headspace to another. In other words, Baby Rumi most of the time couldn't remember what Big Rumi knew and Big Rumi often forgot what Baby Rumi had done while small. Each part of them was severed in an unnatural way, because Littles were supposed to remember what the other part of them did, carrying the pertinent information to live from one headspace to another. 

Rumi sobbed and hiccuped, in all baby misery. "'m wet".

Mimi sat on a couch that wasn't as comfortable as the one in their home and let her sit on her lap. "It's okay, Ruru," she cooed. "And you fought me so hard on wearing them today," she muttered as she guided Rumi's nose to her neck.

The Little pushed onto the caregiver's collarbone, she didn't want to smell there. "You smell weird," she whined.

Mimi winced. "Sorry, baby... it’ll smell weird for about an hour more".

She glanced at Zoey, the girl was swaying from one foot to another, close to a drop and a little upset at Rumi being upset. 

"Everything is okay," Mira consoled, while waiving at their maknae to come closer. "Let's cuddle for a bit and then we'll go-" 

They had a meeting with the costume department and they had to record a song after that, because they had let their group's workaholic plan their day.  Rumi usually had the final say about changing their itinerary but now...

A baby couldn't exactly decide and glanced at Zoey... neither could a kid. Mira wasn't the leader and she felt a bit unprepared to take a decision for the three of them that involved work.

"-home, then we'll go home," she said, grabbing her phone and texting Bobby to reschedule their day. "C'mon, Zoey. I need hugs".

With her arms full of teary-eyed Littles, Mira put her anger behind her lungs and breathed.

(Mira's anger doesn't dimmer)

4.

"Are you done sulking?"

"Hmph".

"I'm not going to apologize. Did you want me to force you out of the drop?"

"..."

"You're joking... that would be really fucking dumb, Rumi".

"...you're dumb".

Mira sighed, pinching her nose to not snap at a Rumi that insisted that she was feeling Big when she clearly was between headspaces.

Zoey was laying on the couch, tablet upright against her tights, headphones on, her head over Jami, drawing some sea creatures with her fingers while wearing Mira's varsity jacket, after asking for the taller girl to lend it to her. Their maknae always wanted to wear baggy clothes when she planned to drop and now she was happily regressed using her allowed hour of screen time to draw. 

Their leader, in contrast, was sulking on the rug, with her arms crossed, frowning and pouting. 

"We could still go to the meeting... I'm not small anymore," Rumi grumbled. "Didn't even ask... you're not the leader... took my phone that I bought with my own money..." she muttered loud enough for Mira to hear.

Frustration rose in her at Rumi's words. Mira was laid-back about the girls, they were well-behaved and obedient. But Rumi's unwavering stubbornness on ignoring her well-being made Mira be controlling and she hated it. The half-demon had hid in the bathroom to call Bobby so they could go to the meeting with the costume department, when told explicitly that it was moved to tomorrow. She had to pick her up, the girl flailing her limbs in anger, to bring her to a place where she could be supervised.

(When desperate and trapped, Mira would always return to what was familiar, her actions to reflect them)

"...you let me drop in public-"

"Wow, okay, don't you dare to go there. I stopped the interview the second you weren't big anymore. You have to understand that one consequence of fighting your drops for such a long time is that any little thing makes you small. Like a Caregiver using a kind tone while releasing pheromones from a meter in front of you".

Rumi's lips wobbled at her words, tears rising to her eyes ready to leak. "I'm sorry," she whispered in that ashamed tone that always stabbed some part of Mira's soul. "I just want to be in control again".

And that's the center of the whole problem, isn't it?

 "I know, Ru. But this isn't the way. People get used to everything in like- a year at least".

Rumi clenched her fists tightly and covered her eyes with her elbows while making a sad sniff to avoid crying.

"It becomes easier if you search for a drop," Mira said, a velvety tone soothing something on Rumi's chest. "You let yourself fall when you feel it, but you don't regress to calm down or to relax. Why don't we try to look for some baby-time?"

Their leader's eye peaked from behind one arm, pouting, distrustful but curious. "I- I don't know how to..."

"You just have to ask, Rumi," Mira said. 

Some shaky breathing came from the girl, thinking and fighting with the fear of vulnerability. 

"Can you help me drop, please?" she whispered, flushing from her neck upwards. 

"Of course, good job at asking," she said, not mocking her, but that didn't stop Rumi from whining in embarrassment, having trouble taking any praise at all. "Come sit on my lap, little tomato".

Rumi sat up and crawled till she was in front of Mira, looking at the taller her from under her eyelashes, in a ‘puppy-begging-for-food’ way. She scoffed and opened her arms to beckon the girl into them. The Little scooched herself on her knees until she leaned into the caregiver's arms.

"Keep your ear on my chest, okay? I know smelling my neck sends you straight to baby-ville but we're trying to teach you how to lead you to regress," Mira explained in a whisper. "Can I undo your braid?"

Rumi nodded and followed Mira's guidance. Her ear rested on the taller girl's chest, the beating of her heart surrounding her in a blanket of calm. Mira was an expert in treating her hair with the utmost gentleness, so she let herself be dotted on.

"Good girl," Mira whispered. 

Now, Mira was just simply being unfair and listening to a huff of a chuckle she was pretty sure the pink-haired girl already knew. Rumi's chest felt warm, little rumbling sounds leaving her throat. She closed her eyes, cuddling still felt like the most precious gift someone could give her.

"No falling asleep," Mira warned with a shake, but then started to rub her back under her hoodie in total counter-productive of her words. Rumi let out a little grumble. "So grumpy..."

Mira started to rock her in her lap, acting like a rocking chair, the movement repetitive and following the rhythm of her breathing. 

"Can you try to suck your thumb? I know you don't like to do it outside of regression, but I would be really happy if you tried," Mira said, hopeful and helpful, so Rumi, full on blushing, did as she said.

The sound of her sucking her thumb made her a little self-conscious, but she tried to push away the embarrassment to focus on the calming feeling that expanded throughout her body. A sigh left her lips as Mira hummed to her one of their new songs, her throat responded with some purring in turn. The fragility of the comfort started to turn more solid, the intentionality of every caring action undoing a knot in her heart she didn't know was there.

The line to the regression was close and when she felt she was crossing it, her body decided to give up into the exhaustion she had been accumulating all throughout the day. Mira noticed the change in breathing, simply shook her head and kissed the top of the head of the Little on her lap, just in time for her smartwatch to vibrate, signaling the end of Zoey's screen time.

She waved at their maknae, who took off her headphones and stared at the time Mira was pointing on her watch. Zoey pouted with a little whine, but saved her work and put the tablet on the coffee table without being told to. She bounced with energy to drop on Mira's back, hugging her neck. Then she grabbed Mira's shoulders and put her chin on her hand to look down to a sleeping Rumi.

"Can we go to the park when Rumi wakes up?" Zoey asked, bouncing on her knees. "I want to draw outside and look at insects and play in a playground and climb a tree-"

In her rambling she glanced at Mira to see a regretful expression flash on her face. 

"Sorry, Zozo. Rumi doesn't want to be regressed in public yet, remember?"

Her expression dropped. 

Lately Zoey had been having traitorous feelings against... Rumi. She loved her, of course she did! But it was hard to not see how much of a priority Rumi's needs were over hers. She loved to play with Baby Rumi, but it was hard when Zoey didn't feel like she had a place to occupy anymore. She knew it was difficult for their leader too, the new vulnerability that she fought tooth and nail- fangs and claws? -to not let them see.

That didn’t stop the rotten emotion on her stomach that just wished Rumi would get over herself. She was taken care of like a princess by Mira, the best caregiver to exist, who babied and treated like the most perfect treasured piece of glass in the whole world and even then, Rumi resisted, to then throw a tantrum or sulk at the comfort she received.

Like a dumb selfish crybaby-

She gasped quietly at the mean thoughts, hiding her face on Mira's back, ashamed of what her mind could say in the privacy of her brain.

"I know it is hard. Thank you for being so understanding... you have been so patient. Maybe we can let Bobby babysit sometime and you and I can go to the park later this week. What do you say?"

Guilt choked her, the emotion being trapped on her throat next to some unwilling tears.

"I would like that," she mumbled with tears in her eyes.

(Zoey buried her ugly parts in the darkest place in her heart. It wasn't like someone wanted to see them)

5.

Mira was extremely confused. 

It was the weekend and it had been a deal between them that weekends were going to be used just to relax and not to do any work at all. Rumi was a bit averse to it- they swore that if Rumi could find a way to work while sleeping she would -but their leader finally accepted it was for the best.

But that wasn't where the present problem arose.

"Rumi did it!" Zoey pointed her finger to the other dropped Little. "It was her idea, Mira!"

The Caregiver had closed her eyes for half and hour and had woken up to-

The biggest mess their kitchen had ever seen. There was wet dirt- she could guess it came from Rumi's plants -all around the floor and on the sink. Wet splatches on almost every surface. 

And the girls... 

Rumi was the most clean, she didn't appear to listen to Zoey's accusation and just continued to mash dirt and water in a big red bowl that rested between the girl's legs. Just her hands and her cheek seemed to be dirty. And Mira was somehow relieved because she was wearing her brown shortalls with a bear's face on the front pocket. They were Rumi's absolute favorite and Mira had to fight every night to change her out of them thanks to the fact.

Zoey though... oh boy, where to begin. She was wearing a long green t-shirt full of frogs and some black shorts. Both things were caked in dirt, as well as her hair, hands, legs, socks and nose. So her accusation maybe wasn't all that true.

And again, the mess would be a chore to clean but it wasn't that bad, the girls seemed to be having fun and nothing was broken. The real problem was Zoey's choice to blame someone who Mira was pretty sure wasn't the devious mastermind behind the mess. Baby Rumi loved to follow Kid Zoey around doing whatever the girl told her, no the other way around.

But Zoey was lying and blaming Rumi and that was strange.

"Is that so?" Mira wondered out loud. "I guess I'll have to give Rumi a time-out then".

Zoey's eyes fled from her shoes to the ceiling to Rumi. With a resolution that Mira had seen in their maknae only while rapping, she finally frowned and raised her chin. "I think so too".

Mira pinched her nose and breathed deeply. "Help me clean this, Zoey. Then a bath for you," she said with a look in her eyes that dared the Little to say anything against it. She kneeled next to Baby Rumi and the girl gave her an adorable smile, that Mira had to correspond. "Help us clean up, baby? You guys made our kitchen a bit dirty".

Rumi stared around her and nodded. "Messy, Mimi".

Zoey grumbled out what sounded a bit like a mocking imitation of Rumi’s words, but the smallest Little just stood up and started to help, next to a fuming Zoey.

The weird situation was not the only thing that rang a warning bell inside her head. Next weekend there was an almost tantrum at lunch.

"Why are you feeding her, Mira?" Zoey almost whined, but the petulant tone was there, in a way totally against Zoey’s usual. "She has the baby spoon, she can do it herself".

Mira smiled at the half-demon that was currently strapped to her chair, swinging her legs. The chair with straps was new after a certain wiggly girl had fallen one too many times from the past one. And she was feeding her because she didn't want to clean any mess, Mira had a right to be lazy sometimes.

"Because she's too little to do it by herself," Mira answered.

Her response made their maknae chew with indignation. "And why does she get a star cup?"

The oldest stared at Rumi who was drinking from a star sippy cup with a soft teat, because, again, she had learned the hard way that the girl didn't really have all the coordination for the plastic cups that Zoey used. 

"I think your turtle cup is pretty cool too. You have a funny straw to go with it," Mira commented, but Zoey just frowned even more. 

Noticing the tension, Rumi interrupted. "Zozo, here," she said while extending her sippy cup to the other girl. "Yummy juice".

Zoey pursed her lips. "I'm alright," she muttered.

And their maknae kept glaring at Rumi all throughout lunch while she thought Mira wasn't looking.

That same afternoon was the last drop and it started just as Mira was busy.

She was scrolling through Tik-tok when she got a message. And that wasn't anything unusual, the surprise came from who was the sender.

Shitty brother - 16:35

Call me.

Min-ho was the only one who she hadn't blocked from her family. And she had done so, because he was the only one that when the paparazzi caught him, never said anything mean or derogative.

"Min-ho! What do you have to say about Mira's latest exposition about your family?"

An empty stare and blank expression. "Mi-rae wasn't ever known to be a liar".

He was never too warm.

"Sir! Do you have a word to share about HUNTR/X latest choreography award?"

A huff of a laugh and exhale of smoke from a cigarette. "The choreographer is certainly talented..." a sigh, "my sister has always given her all in dancing. The girls- HUNTR/X- they will go far".

But he was fair.

"A comment about your sister winning the Idol's Awards?"

A sad smile. "She has gone far... the sky is the limit for her and... she seems... lighter, happy. She's much more than our family expected from her".

And still they hadn't spoken directly since she had thrown a piece of paper with her number to his face.

Shitty brother - 16:35

Please, Mira.

Her fingers hovered over the letters, fighting for what choice was the right one.

"Don't touch my stuff!" Zoey screamed from her room.

And Mira forgot what she was doing to run to their maknae's room where the girls were last playing.

She ran just in time to hear the beginning of Rumi's crying. That made both of them wince, Rumi had a healthy pair of lungs that, to be sincere, she wasn't much into using to their full capacity unless she was big and singing, so this was new.

Rumi turned around and ran to Mira's chest, crying less loudly when she held her. Her hands clutched the pink-haired's t-shirt and the caregiver instinctively rubbed her back while swaying on her feet. With Rumi on the way to calming down, Mira focused on her other Little.

Zoey also had tears rolling down her cheeks, way less dramatic than Rumi's, but still with a trembling lower lip and some sad sniffles to accompany them. 

"What happened, Zoey?" Mira asked, not to recriminate, but because she was the most composed of the two.

That made Zoey's cheeks go red with anger. "Why do you ask me?! Why don't you ask her?!"

Mira was perplexed at the girl's anger, so she changed tactics. "Do you need a second to calm down? Hit your pillows or scream into one?"

Zoey puffed out her cheeks. "Why don't I get a hug too?!"

The caregiver blinked. "Do you want to join the hug, kiddo?" she asked, hesitating in that being their maknae's wishes right now, considering that she was this upset.

"No!" and sold her point while stomping her foot. "I want you to hug me! Not her!"

Mira glanced at the Little in her arms who was crying still and shaking, while whimpering some babbles she didn't manage to understand. And by checking her pull-up and finding it wet- Rumi usually had accidents when she cried -she tried to imagine a way to give both girls what they needed.

The pause made Zoey burst out again. "You always choose her! She was the one touching my stuff! It is not my problem that she doesn't have any toys of her own! And you keep choosing her, so why don't you go with your favorite Little to cuddle in another place that isn't my room?!"

At the end of the ramble, the Little lasted five seconds before she started wailing and fell into a pool of misery into the floor. Mira acted quickly, brought herself and Rumi into the floor too and brought the other done-fighting-Little into her other arm. And she let herself feel lost on what to do for a few minutes.

Both girls ended up asleep after the crying session and Mira didn't move a centimeter.

6.

Mira was in her trailer waiting to be called to her second scene, a cameo in a romantic drama movie, an adaptation of a book she couldn't be bothered to read. 

Yesterday's events replayed in her mind. Both girls had woken up not dropped, Rumi without remembering what had happened- as usual -and Zoey quietly explaining that she simply didn't want to play with Rumi that day.

And Mira wasn't sure she believed her. But still, she shook her head out of the memory.

After some deep breaths, she closed her eyes, imagining Rumi's focused face as she followed the photographer's instruction for their new perfume line and Zoey's fidgeting form, free this afternoon and at home, but choosing to write some ideas for their next album instead of resting. A part of her heart warmed at the thought of her girls, another stressed about how to help Zoey with what she was feeling but refused to acknowledge or share.

Her eyes opened at the vibration of her phone and she pursed her lips at getting a call from Celine, the irritation joining her feelings about her brother's text that she still hadn't answered.

She rolled her eyes and waited for the call to go to voicemail. But when the fourth missed call notification appeared on the screen, worry grew inside her. On one hand, if it was something about the girls, Bobby or her Littles would be the first to call and feeling around the honmoon, she felt that they were safe. On the other hand... There were a lot of problems that they might have missed and their mentor could have catched.

Her worry won at the end.

"Celine," she answered, putting her phone on speaker. "Why so much insistence?"

"Is someone with Rumi right now?"

Dread filled her lungs. "Bobby is... why?"

"She had a photoshoot today, right? And you have a movie shoot while Zoey is free" she said in a hurry, while the sound of papers moving resonates through the call.

Her knowledge of their schedule makes her want to bite her face off. "What's going on?" Mira snapped.

"She's texting me some emojis and she only does that when she's regressed," Celine clarified.

Mira's heart constrains at the information some sentence unlocked in her brain. Rumi is small now and Baby Rumi hasn't been with anyone but them since she first dropped. But Bobby hadn't called about it. Does that mean that she's alone? The thought is like a bucket of ice thrown into her. Also Rumi, or at least Baby Rumi, has been texting Celine enough for the woman to notice when she's regressed and when she's not. But she knew Rumi hadn't spoken to her since they sealed the honmoon.

Her mind tried to choose what action to take, when she received a call from Bobby.

"Bobby is calling, talk to you later," Mira said and to her own surprise, she meant it. She hangs up and accepts Bobby's call. "What's going on? How is Rumi?"

She didn't hear crying, in fact, she just heard rapid breathing coming from their manager.

"Mira! There is a big blue tiger in Rumi's room," he spat out while Mira heard a growl too, then Bobby's whimper. "And a bird that has too many eyes and is glaring at me!" he said, a step away from crying.

She's confused. "Did the tiger growl?" she couldn't even guess that Derpy was capable of a sound like that.

"Yes! It doesn't let me get near her! And she's hiding under the vanity table," he whispered. "Rumi doesn't seem upset, but I think she's regressed because she doesn't answer me!"

"Fuck, alright! Put me on speaker," Mira growled, not angry at Bobby but at the circumstances. She picked up her bag and left the trailer. "I'm having an emergency! I'll come back later," she yelled to an assistant that paled at her words, but she ignored them in favor of more important things.

Her driver for today was on his phone playing some game but on seeing her disposition ran to open her door to later start the car. She sent him the directions, lifted the divider and listened to the call.

"You're on speaker, Mira," Bobby said.

She took a big breath. "Derpy, you dumb cat, Bobby is safe!" she yelled to hear a deep rumbling sound as an answer a few seconds later. "Don't use that tone with me! I need Bobby to get closer to see how Rumi is!"

"Mimi?" a tiny voice said and even though she sounded a bit apprehensive, she didn't sound upset.

"Hi, baby... I'm driving to get you, okay? Can you be good for Bobby for a few minutes? Why don't you draw me a pretty picture while you wait?"

"'kay, Mimi," she heard. "Come soon?"

"As fast as I can, princess," she promised. "Do you need something?"

"Um... you an' choco," Rumi answered, making Mira chuckle. "Please. An' juice".

"I think Bobby can manage that. Right, Bobby?"

"Yes, of course!" he said, then whispered into the phone. "The bird is still glaring".

Mira rolled her eyes. "He does that, don't worry about it. Sussie you better behave," she threatened. "How is she?"

Bobby turned off the speaker. "She's fine... I went to bring her some comfy slippers and when I came back she was small, she was on her phone, calm and entertained and... Derpy and Sussie were here," he said and a part of Mira relaxed. "She's half dressed though. Sweatpants on, just one sock and the shirt of her outfit is half undone and she's... um," he started and then whispered. "She's not wearing protection? But she went to the bathroom before I left the room"

"She'll be okay if she doesn't freak out. Can you keep her calm for a few minutes?"

"You can trust me. Be safe, alright?"

"Thanks, Bobby," she said, then hung up.

She covered her eyes in frustration, because today they would go to the park with Zoey while Rumi would be with Bobby and something had triggered a drop, even if it wasn't something  stressful. But she couldn't cancel on Zoey, she clearly had been a bit upset with Baby Rumi, keeping space between them when regressed. Mira could guess she felt a bit jealous of having to share her and angry at not being able to go places like they used to. And the oldest couldn't explain that there was a scar on her heart after the last time she had left Rumi alone by accident, a ghost of pain that stopped her from leaving her in Bobby's care while small.

Mira didn't want the resentment to grow between the Littles who clearly loved each other so much. But she couldn't let her anxiety and protectiveness stop the girls from trying new things, Mira wouldn't be able to always be there and Rumi had to get used to that. Even if the thought left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She arrived fast enough and, following Bobby's directions, she knocked on the door to be welcomed by a nervous manager and a happy baby. Rumi gasped, ran to her arms giggling and Mira picked her up under her armpits to spin her around the room. 

"What have you been doing, princess?"

"Nothin'," she said, smiling brightly. "Just playin', Mimi".

Bobby smiled with endearment. "She was a little angel. But just so you know... Baby Rumi knows how to use her phone".

That made her pause.

"Well... that is some news," she mumbled to herself. "What were you doing with the phone, silly girl?"

"I dunno," Rumi whispered. 

Mira arched an eyebrow. "Super believable, princess," and just with her expression, Rumi hid her face on her neck and went boneless with a satisfied mewl. "Do you want to join me at work?"

Rumi gave her a hum, that meant she agreed. Mira kissed the top of her braid and quickly finished changing her in, thankfully, some comfy clothes Rumi had picked, a plain hoodie with a pull-up under her sweatpants, just in case. 

"Bobby, can you babysit after the shoot?" Mira asked.

Their manager smiled and with a thumbs up, followed them to the car. 

She put the girl in her lap, back against her chest. In the drive Rumi stared to the outside with a curious gaze, sucking her thumb. Mira hated that she didn't have any pacifier on her. 

Because of her refusal to be seen while regressed by anyone but them, Baby Rumi didn't have any chance to really see the outside world. The thought always brought a bitter feeling to Mira, but it was Rumi’s choice for them to respect. She wondered about their lives if they weren't idols or in the public's eye; maybe Rumi would get a chance to just be.

They arrived back at her trailer to see a swarm of people panicking outside. Mira rolled her eyes and covered Rumi with a blanket, made an exit from the car, ignoring everyone until she got in her trailer.

"Wait with Bobby for a bit, Ruru," Mira whispered to her Little. "Be good, okay? I need to-" she searched for a excuse, "-go to the bathroom. Be back in a bit".

She put her hand on the doorknob and cracked the bones on her neck. "Showtime," she whispered.

Back in the penthouse Mira had to fight the headache that threatened to envelop her.

"You promised, Mira!" Zoey whined.

She forced herself to breathe. "I know, Zoey-"

"It was supposed to be my day, not hers,"Zoey almost growled the last word, stomping her foot, but still keeping her volume in check to not bother the other Little that was napping on the couch.

Bobby raised his hand. "I can accompany you to the park, Zoey. It's really no-"

Zoey tightened her fists and stomped her foot one more. "I don't want you! I want Mira! She promised!"

Their manager flinched with a bit of hurt, but just nodded. Mira sent him an apologizing look, but he just waved her worries away.

"Alright, okay, let's go while Rumi is napping. Be back in an hour, Bobby. Go look for your shoes, Zoey," Mira said, irritated but trying to not snap at anyone.

Their maknae ran and came back with a bright yellow shoe and a light blue one with clouds. Not matching, but the pink-haired girl refused to make a fight about something that wasn't a big deal. Mira grabbed the backpack full of Little gear, popped a bucket hat over the girl's head and tightened her shoes for her. Zoey quickly bounced to the elevator and when she got in the Little grabbed her hand and swung them with a beaming smile Zoey hadn't shown in a while.

She couldn't help but let anxiety rise from the place of her stomach at the thought of Rumi waking up alone. It haunted her a little still, how broken Rumi had been after the incident.

(Mira didn't want to be what broke Rumi. Again and again and again.)

"Do you want to go back?" Zoey whispered.

Mira blinked out of her thoughts to watch the Little. Zoey was frowning, shoes scuffing against the floor. The joy from a minute ago, gone. And Mira didn't know how to balance everything out, but she could help one of her girls to not feel awful.

"No, kiddo," Mira lied. "Let's have fun at the park, alright?"

They walked to the playground and, with a gentle push, Mira let Zoey run to the jungle gyms. 

Zoey giggled almost the whole time.

7.

If she chose to describe it, Celine would say she had been experiencing a half-death-life recently. She doesn't have any other words to explain the sensation of waiting for her life to end any minute now. She wasn't dying though, she had gone to the doctor and she was healthy enough. 

But most days she just moved through some activities she had to do and... that was her day. Go to bed, close her eyes, sometimes sleep and rise for another day. It was her penitence, she knew. Although that didn't make her life any easier.

There were some days when she could just kneel in front of Mi-yeong's grave from sunrise to sunset. Holding something in her hands that she couldn't let go of. She could no longer go to the tree where Rumi had-

Move, move, move, she screamed to herself while walking to the garden. 

Everytime she remembered Rumi's expression, her request, she felt something breaking in her chest, that made her choose any activity to not focus on those memories.

Her brain got caught on how Bobby had called her some days ago. A break to the monotony of her day.

"The girls are going to tell the world about Rumi being a Little," he said. "They wanted me to tell you".

"I'll talk to the shareholders and the PR department," Celine answered, standing up from her place in front of the grave. "Did the girls approve of the official company statement already?"

Silence.

"Bobby?"

"You really care about Sunlight Entertainment more than you care for Rumi?" Bobby said, going to the point and sounding terribly disappointed.

She swallowed a bitter laugh that wanted to leave her throat. "We'll have a meeting in a few hours. I hope you'll be there in representation of HUNTR/X".

And she hung up.

Her hands pulled some weeds with a practiced motion. Celine had picked Bobby specially for him to protect the girls from anything that could bring them harm, stress or unhappiness. And that meant he had to protect them from her now. 

She could almost hear a little girl's humming accompanying her, like it used to years before now. Celine let that memory calm the buzzing in her head. 

She couldn't explain to Bobby that caring for the management of Sunlight Entertainment was the only thing she could offer to the girls. Someday it would be theirs, but not now when they were at the peak of their careers. 

The honmoon shone when Celine caught herself humming. Iridescent, not blue, not pink, not golden. Different...perhaps better too.

The woman couldn't imagine what she would say to the one responsible for the change, if she even wanted to see Celine again.

(I'm sorry. I'm hurt. I'm proud. I love you)

She had sent a single message to Rumi after their last conversation: 'I'll be here if you want to talk'.

Unanswered. Maybe ignored. One hundred percent deserved either way.

She suddenly felt how she was breathing hot air and decided to go inside to have some water. She got in the house to a colder air and took off her hat, hanging it. Looking for her phone to see what emails had to be answered while she opened her fridge for a bottle of cold water.

And she froze at a single notification.

(3) 1Rumi 

With her heart on her throat she opened it.

1Rumi - 15:37

♥️💓💗💞💚💜♥️ ❤️

💖💖💘💕💕💕💕💕

What? 

For a second Celine wondered if Rumi had pushed some keys by accident. She felt a bit foolish for getting her hopes up.

1Rumi - 15:40

🐻🐻‍❄️🧸🐼🐻

🫂🧸🧸🧸🎀🎀

💙🐯💙🐦‍⬛🎩

Okay... there was a story there, Celine was sure of it. She squinted at her screen and as if to seal her complete confoundment, next came a short audio message. She pressed play.

1Rumi - 15:42

"Um, hellooo. No-" 

Rumi's voice. She didn't sound upset, but she did sound-

Little. Oh, she was probably regressed. A coldness spread through her chest, because she had never seen Rumi while dropped and she didn't have a right to see her now.

Celine sometimes gave herself a moment to imagine it, watching her, seeing the little girl she raised. 

(The action equally a reward and a punishment)

Toddler Rumi, against all odds, used to be a little angel. She didn't have a lot of stories of Rumi being a brat or a nightmare, unlike the general population with their own children. She was sweet... Rumi would always be so sweet. And kind. Celine just wished since she was born that the world didn't take that goodness of her and spat her up, empty of it.

(Like her)

Her finger lingered on the call button. Was she allowed to call? Was she even allowed to be in Rumi's life anymore? She refused to ruin the girl more than she has already done.

("Do what you should have done a long time ago")

A decision was made for her, because suddenly Rumi was calling her. And all the indecision left her, because she wanted to talk to her da- Rumi, so she answered after the first ring.

"Hello?" Celine tried to sound gentle, but hearing herself she just sounded scared.

("Your faults and fears must never be seen")

"Hellooo...? Cece?" 

A sob almost escaped her lips upon hearing her voice. 

("Do what you should have done-)

"Rumi," she sighed. 

"I send you- I send you some, um, some hearts... Did you see?" Rumi said and Celine could picture how her mouth and tongue moved to say the words, a bit clumsy but very earnest.

She chuckled while brushing off some tears that dared to fall from her eyes. "I saw".

"There's Zozo and Mimi and me and-and-and the big heart is you and with the little that's me," Rumi explained.

The last emoji of the first text, of the big heart with a little heart. She covered her mouth to not let out a wail that would certainly spook the girl. Trying to keep all of it in, in, in.

"Cece? You see the love yous hearts?"

How long since she was called Cece. Too long, a thing she didn't know she had missed, but had dulled the hurt with its return.

("Do you want to feel her kick, Cece?")

("Why do I have to hide, Cece?")

"Ye-yes, darling," she cleared her throat, letting her tears fall in a place where no one could see. "Thank you, so much".

"And the beaws?"

She smiled. "I saw the bears too. Really cute".

A delighted baby noise. "An' Kimchi an' De'ppy an' Sushi?"

Well- "Yes, I saw them too," she said, while guessing they must be some stuffed animals. 

She didn't know how to continue the conversation and when she opened her mouth to say something, she heard another voice in the distance.

"Yes, yes," Rumi spoke to another person. "I have to go eat now. Bye-bye, Cece. Love you".

"I- Rumi, wait-"

The girl hung up.

And Celine was again in a silent and empty house, just her and her guilt.

She had thought it was a one time thing. But it ended up being some kind of routine. After every emoji filled message, Celine would give her a call.

1Rumi - 17:49

☔🌧️🌧️🌧️☔⛈️
☂️☂️🌦️🌦️🌦️🌦️

1Rumi - 16:06

🪞🪞🪑🪑🧦
🫣🫣🤫🙈🙈
🍫🍪☕🍫😮🤤

"Hi, Rumi. It's raining kind of hard, isn't it?" Celine started the conversation. "Have you been outside?"

"No, the window and saw the um-ble-llas and the rain," Rumi explained. "Mimi is making hot choco, with cinaminom, 'cause Zozo wanted some".

A chuckle to hide what memory of another call surged at the name of the Caregiver. "I hope it tastes good".

"Hot choco and mashmellow, little ones," Rumi babbled. "Zozo said- Zozo said that is good".

Celine smiled. Rumi always had a sweet tooth. 

The one conversation that had made her panic was the one she received when she knew Rumi was at a photoshoot. One without Mira or Zoey. 

And when she called... Rumi didn't answer. She didn't hesitate to call Mira instantly. Celine had to call four times before being answered and with every call made, her stress built and started to eat her alive.

After the tense interaction Bobby was the one who texted her that Rumi was with him.

The woman felt guilty at the prospect of hiding this from the other girls. As if their interaction was a bad secret.

(Celine would never ask for Rumi to hide again)

The bad feeling in her stomach followed her until sunset, when she got another text from Rumi.

1Rumi - 18:48

😨😨⚫⚫⚫
😢😢😭😭😟
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
💚💚💚💚💚💚
💚💚💚💚💚💚
🖤💔

Celine called her immediately. 

The first thing she heard was sniffles and sobs. The sound froze her.

"Cece?"

"Cece? I'm scared".

"I'll be good, Cece"

"It hurts, Cece".

"Cece, can we be done?"

A shaky breath left her own lips.

(Our Faults And Fears Must Never Be Seen. OurFaultsAndFearsMustNeverBeSeen)

She steeled herself as if someone was looking. "Rumi, what's wrong?"

Another sob. "Mimi and Zozo leaved me," a stressed whine. "But I was good, I was good".

Confusion and indignation filled her chest. It didn't sound like the girls would simply abandon their third. But also a clearly regressed Rumi was calling her in full distress and the one with the answers right now was at most a toddler.

"Are you alone? Where are you?" she stood up as if to go there immediately, until the truth of their present situation fell to the front of her mind and she fell to her chair again.

She couldn't go there. She wasn't welcomed. Thanks to her own actions.

"Um- Bo-bo-bo-bby," Rumi managed to say between hiccups.

"Bobby is there with you?"

A whimper. "Uh-huh".

A voice sounded far away from the phone. "I'm here Celine! She's hiding in a place between the wall and her closet and I can't get to her".

The worst of her worries unscrambled. Rumi was at home.

(How long has it been since the penthouse was her home? Was Celine's house ever her home?)

Then she heard a wet sucking sound. "Are you sucking your thumb, Rumi?" she said in a tone that she hoped it didn't sound like a reproach.

She clearly failed, because Rumi let out a hurt sound. "No paci, Cece".

"It's alright, darling," she said, even gentlier. That was a habit that Celine never did manage to break,  the sneaky girl just managed to hide it better. "Can you go to Bobby?"

"Nu-huh," she said, resoluted. 

She frowned at Rumi's familiar stubbornness. "Why not?"

"He's ma-ma-mad," and her voice was full of regret and shame.

She heard the man's voice. "Sweetie, I'm not mad. I just want to give you a big hug because you're so sad. You are not in any trouble. I promise".

More sounds of Rumi sucking her thumb, clearly trying to make a choice. A rustle sound, an indication of movement, finally was heard and Celine sighed in relief.

"Good job, sweetie," Bobby said, much closer to the phone and much clearer. "Let's say bye to Cece now?"

"...'kay," was the final decision. "Bye-bye, Cece".

"Goodbye, darling".

The call ended and she didn't feel any lighter from the weight of their distance. Celine had manufactured her own suffering since she had a mind of her own, no longer stranger to the company of regret and still-

Now wanting to hold the girl she raised, she was left to be satisfied with the shadow of her touch.

"You reap what you sow, Rumi. You reap what you sow," Celine had taught her.

A bitter laugh left her lips. Hands were only full with the harvest of her own mistakes. 

8.

When Mira had arrived back home, a sweaty but bouncy Little at her side, she had expected a lot of things, but Big Rumi watching at k-drama next to a stressed looking Bobby wasn't it. Their stubborn girl never came out of her drops so soon. She was gaining energy to bathe two regressed Littles on the elevator, but it seems to not be the case anymore.

She still frowned.

"We're back!" Zoey yelled. Around her mouth was the evidence of eating vanilla ice-cream in the park with an equally sticky hand that Mira was holding, because certain someone had not let herself be clean with 'baby wipes'.

"Welcome back," Rumi smiled.

And that was another thing that was off. Because that was Rumi's 'k-pop idol' smile, not the 'I'm-home-with-my-girls' smile.

"Is everything okay?" Zozo whispered, noticing the very same thing.

Rumi gave them a fake laugh. "Yes, don't worry".

"Rumi was a bit upset that you le- went to the park," Bobby explained, stopping when their leader gave him a look.

"But that's normal. Bobby comforted me and I'm not dropped anymore," Rumi tried to wave away their worry. "How about we watch that Disney movie Zoey wanted to watch? After a bath, of course".

Mira wanted a lot of things; to interrogate the girl for the truth, to ask why was she lying, to demand a reason for breaking her promise of not hiding anymore, to try to gently ask how upset she was-

However the Caregiver had promised herself to not act in anger anymore, more with the people she loved the most in the world. So she just nodded.

"You can leave, Bobby, thank you for babysitting," she said, while Rumi pursed her lips at the choice of words. "C'mon, sweetheart is time for a bath".

Zoey undressed herself with little help and even if she could bathe on her own when dropped, Mira liked to take care of her in this way. To help Zoey relax, an intimate act that required a lot of trust-

Oh... 

That was it.

Trust.

While the other Little of her family still didn't trust them. And like a click on her brain, she realized that the origin of her anger was... hurt. That she didn't know what else to do for Rumi to trust her, not to see the pretty but the ugly parts of herself too. That it felt like Rumi created a version of them that was mean or cruel, that hurt her on purpose, that enjoyed not feeling the burden of helping her.

Zoey's and Rumi's weight was always grounding, not crushing. 

"Is Rumi mad at me?"

Mira stopped her musings to stare at their maknae's pretty brown eyes.

She took her time to answer. "Why do you think she's mad?"

"Because we went to have fun, without her... while she was asleep," Zoey murmured, watching the ripples in the water, her wobbly reflection staring back at her.

"I- well..." she wondered the same thing. "I don't know, Zo. She didn't seem mad".

Mira helped her get out of the tub, wrapping her on a towel.

"But she was acting weird," Zoey said, worriedly biting her lower lip.

"Yes, she was. We can ask her about it later, though," Mira assured her.

The oldest dressed the Little, brushed and dried the girl's hair and reminded her to drink some water.

When they went back to the living room Derpy was laying his head on Rumi's lap while she petted him absentmindedly. But on seeing them, she smiled- a more real one -a bit tiredly, and opened her arms for Zoey. Their youngest didn't doubt for a second to run to her, hugging her arm to her chest and resting her head on her shoulder.

Mira reheated their dinner and took the plates to the couch. Zoey picked the movie. Rumi ate in silence.

No one spoke about what was left unsaid.

They just went to sleep.

9.

The next eruption happened after a shitty week.

Rumi has been… dealing with some Little discrimination, that their leader knew she was going to deal with when she told the world. It didn’t change that it still sucked.

And it clearly piled down on Rumi.

The first stone was an interviewer who had asked for Mira to speak in the name of HUNTR/X, when no one in her life as an idol had ever asked that of her. Mira had given Rumi the chance to speak, but the interviewer's face revealed the performative attention he was paying, as if hearing Rumi now was just to indulge her. Bobby had stopped the interview when none of the girls wanted to be in it anymore. Later, the fucking guy had the nerve to blame it on Rumi’s ‘childishness and unprofessionalism’.

Or when the sound engineer asked about a problem with drowning their voices in a song to Mira, when they all knew that it was Rumi’s expertise. The man had said, ‘Oh… I just thought-’ and Mira had just watched him pale and try to stammer a reason, but Rumi simply had waved the awkwardness away with a smile and had solved the problem.

Or when the head of the PR department sent an invitation to their meeting to Mira- who had never participated in the dull conversations -instead of to their dear leader. They had excused themselves by saying that ‘they wanted all the girls to start to participate’, but Zoey hadn’t gotten an invitation. At the end they had sent Bobby alone, for him to represent them.

Or when all three of them had flinched when being bombarded by paparazzi, but just Rumi had been asked about her ‘sensitivities’. The questions themselves were patronizing and hurtful to hear. Even them, who had been trained for almost a decade to answer the most uncomfortable questions, had frozen on this new scenario.

Zoey, as a Little, had to win the public over and demonstrated she was able to handle the life of a kpop star with her wit and charm. And it had been a hard job to gain that privilege that not all of the Littles of the industry could achieve. It had been deeply unfair to fight for it back then, so it was just as unfair now for Rumi to win her credibility when she had proved she could handle all of this time and time again, even if in the past the public knew her as a Neutral.

And their resident workaholic had tried to hide or diminish how much of an impact it had been for her. To change from capable to fragile, from confident to spoiled and from a queen to a pawn. 

Until they had arrived from a photoshoot and Rumi- who usually made a fast way to clean herself up and put on pajamas -had collapsed on the couch and requested some alone time. The girls were concerned, but gave her what she asked and went to shower.

When they had come out, Rumi had mascara running down her cheeks and was having a full crying session. Mira could tell she wasn’t even regressed… those were Big Rumi’s sobs, all the way.

Rumi had thrown herself to Mira’s arms and before anyone could ask her anything she had put her nose on the place of Mira’s neck where the pheromones were the strongest. After some whining she had a confused Baby Rumi in her lap. And the caregiver was a bit upset that Big Rumi escaped from a conversation with them by dropping.

Zoey- who Mira had promised to play on the switch with -was a step away from fuming, so Mira had told her that she needed to clean Rumi up and put her to bed and then, they would be good to go for about an hour.

Rumi had whined and cried about sleeping in Zoey’s bed and the other Little had conceded if they could play in the living room.

And Mira had thought they were good. She almost patted herself in the back at handling both Little’s needs in such a spectacular way.

At least until it was time for Zoey to go to sleep. She had pouted a bit, but being tired herself she had gone to her own bed with a promise of a bedtime story.

And then… the horrors.

Zoey had screamed so loud Mira had dropped the cup she was preparing tea in to fucking run to the room-

To find a murder scene of… one funko of the turtle guy Zoey loved… She was pretty sure his name was Donatello and he was a swordsman(?). 

The regressed half-demon was using him as a toothpick. Biting pieces of plastic and spitting them out, while she made Zoey stay away with her legs. Rumi was making some growling sounds until their maknae finally reached him- or what was left of him -and took it out of Rumi’s hands.

Zoey took three seconds to analyze what she had in her hands before she threw herself at Rumi. And that was when Mira acted, by holding her arms around the rapper’s hips, stopping her from doing something she would later regret.

“I don’t want you to touch any of my stuff anymore! Get out of my room! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” Zoey screamed. “I never want to play with you again! I never want to see you!”

Rumi froze at her words and with tears in her eyes, she ran away.

With the murderer of funkos gone, Mira finally let go of Zoey.

The girl dropped to the floor, wailing and hitting the ground with her fists. Mira could just grab some pillows to drop them around so Zoey couldn’t hurt herself too much. The last of Zoey’s actions before simply staying still on the ground, was to curl up on the floor and scream so hard Mira’s own vocal cords hurt.

Next came the tears of exhaustion. 

“She broke him… she broke him on purpose…” Zoey mumbled, sounding deeply betrayed. 

Mira kneeled next to her and hugged her hard. She knew it made Zoey calm down and honestly… is all Mira could do by now. 

The caregiver wished to be able to divide herself in two, so she could also check on Rumi. But then Derpy appeared, running towards Rumi’s room and she finally could focus.

“I’ll buy you another Donatello, Zoey… so just breathe and try to relax. I got you, kiddo,” Mira whispered.

Zoey’s lips wobbled again. “You know his name…”

“Of course… I try to listen to my girls,” Mira whispered again, helping Zoey close her eyes with her voice.

With the heavy weight of Zoey’s on her arms, she still didn’t even know how to begin fixing this mess.

10.

Mira was stressed out.

Rumi hadn't dropped in two weeks, even when she had used the dirty trick of showing her neck to the Little's sensitive nose. Pheromones unnoticed. Kimchi ignored. Cuddles rejected.

Zoey noticed the tension and in turn, was stressed out too. Her pattern of drops were complete chaos and she was low energy and snapping at every little thing. Also, Kid Zoey had requested a funeral for Donatello that Rumi, not regressed, had to force herself to give an eulogy in. The next day, a new Donatello was in Zoey's room, bought by the culprit herself.

It didn’t really fix anything, as Mira knew it wouldn’t.

But clearly neither of the Littles knew how to act around each other now, even when they tried to put it behind them.

And the worst of the worst was that Rumi wasn't even being a brat. She talked to them everyday, trained and practiced without failing, participated in interviews without the mask falling. She was attentive, kind and charming.

But everytime that Mira wanted to talk about it, Rumi just misdirected her attempts. And when Rumi tried talking to Kid Zoey, the latter went so far into her shell that she barely answered.

(And she still hadn't answered her brother's text. Shit!)

Which was why when dancing for their new choreography- movement too rough and less polish than the lead dancer's usual -in a heavy stomp Mira's left knee gave away and with a loud crack, she ended up on the floor. Even with the pain, she tried to act like a lady.

"Fuck, shit, fuck, damn knee! Fucking hurts," she said between her teeth with her eyes closed.  With a hiss of pain, she opened her eyes to see two pairs of worried brown eyes. "I'm fine, I'm good. Don't stare, it's just a badly strained muscle".

Now two pairs of unconvinced brown eyes stared back at her.

Rumi kneeled in front of her and extended her leg without hesitation and the action made Mira wince. Their leader was methodical and deliberate in all the movements of her knee, so Mira just had to wait for her diagnosis and tough it out. Rumi was the most experienced about injuries, so the job of anything related to traumatology often fell to her, just as the job of stitching wounds fell to Mira.

"Sprained, not badly. You just need some ice and to rest for two days at least," Rumi determined, eyes soft and with an apologetic expression as if she had been the one who hurt her.

Mira crossed her arms on the floor, she deserved to sulk for a few more minutes. "Great, thank you".

Zoey was the one who helped her up. "Let's go to our couch, you deserve some pampering".

Between both of her girls Mira was taken to the couch to rest with an ice pack and a pillow under her knee. Rumi brought her some anti-inflammatory medicine and Zoey a bottle of water that she took under their watchful eyes. Then the girls prepared her ramyeon, as well as theirs, and sat next to her. Zoey even let her pick a TV show to watch.

The tense situation was impossible to ignore. Zoey wasn't interrupting to share her thoughts about the story, Rumi wasn't fidgeting, just sitting still as a statue and Mira was tense and huffing from time to time. They were not even touching each other, the distance choking her with the need to fix this.

In that weird tense state the honmoon shook. It was unlike anything else and to make things worse, Rumi's patterns reacted in sync to it.

Rumi was the one who stood up first.

"Something is trying to... break out the honmoon?" she said, to then clutch her chest while wincing in... discomfort. Her patterns changed from their usual white to the sickly pink from... that day,

Mira stood up next, picked up some bandages from the coffee table and started to wrap her knee while ignoring the faces of reproach from the girls. 

"No comment, this feels big. Let's go," she commanded.

Zoey's helpless expression didn't change her stance and when she tried it with Rumi next, their leader's eyes spoke about her agreement with Mira. Rumi touched their maknae's shoulder in encouragement and she answered with a tired nervous smile in return.

"Let's go kick some butts," Zoey said, full of determination.

11.

They arrived at a park. 

It stretched into a garden of trees, old and sturdy. A couple bushes of flowers and grass in different states of growth, where you could find some tells of footprints of different sizes.

They stood close to a playground. To hide. To watch.

To try to make sense of what they were looking at.

There was no wind. A stench of emptiness drowning a place that should be full of people.

Vacant of life. No insect zumbing, not a laugh, not a breath from someone, from something.

Which made the howl from the creature in front of them more chilling. Hundreds of voices- excited, frightened, anxious, hurt, hurt, hurt- screaming to the honmoon and in turn, to them. A vibration of wrongness right into their souls, thousand instruments tunned wrongly, trying to one-up each other to determine who should be heard the most, who was the lead.

But that was only sound.

(Everything that made them, them, was sound too)

The body, its body- should them call it a body? Was there another way to describe it? -was an amalgamation of all the kinds of demons they had ever fought with. Masks of the usual dokkaebi swallowed into its stomach to then surface again, the most hurtful sound came from them. Gwishing were used as a net to push everything together, some were laughing. Then... they were hard to pinpoint, they were fractured, two stories tall of wretched creatures. Dark, almost fully black except for its pink patterns. And full animalistic desperation in its movements.

It wanted to tear the honmoon to go under it. They now knew what happened with the demons who were on this side of the barrier.

And in their bond, they felt each other's primal fear. The cold sweat, the trembling limbs, the quiet panting.

But as always, they needed to act through their dread. And for the first time in a long time, Rumi was the one in the lead, because Zoey and Mira took too long to move. Nevertheless, with Rumi's pull, they moved.

Rumi was the fastest- now with her demon heritage in the open -so she slided under its belly with her saingeom pointing up, slashing a big tear to then roll out from under it when it responded with a roar and body slam to try to squash the half-demon.

The joy of landing such a big hit lasted but a few seconds, the usual smoke surrounding the creature until the tear fixed itself and it was like it hadn't been hurt at all.

"You gotta be kidding me," Mira muttered. 

They charged while it was focused in Rumi. Zoey runned around it throwing her shinkals to the masks, making it growl. Mira went to attack the dozens of extremities it used to propel itself up. It was like fighting against the ocean, useless and neverending.

Rumi, feeling their apprehension, screamed. "It's getting smaller, don't get too close and be quick!"

Rumi climbed it to then stab it on its top and fall to slash it. It screamed and sensing this pattern of fight style from their leader... threw tendrils to catch her. And when it brought her to its mouth- the opening that was blue full of human souls, so many you couldn't count them -Mira moved.

Celine was the one to tell her that when she attacked to protect her girls, she left too many places from her body defenseless. Their mentor told her so many times in their training years, so Mira wouldn't get hurt.

Slashing its tendrils, that was the second thing she thought about.

(First thought, first instinct, first everything. It would always be to protect her girls)

So she was in a place where she couldn't parry or escape or dodge or avoid the worst of the hit that broke her knee almost to a pulp in a mere second.

The rest of the fight happened without Mira's involvement.

Mira's fight was with the pain, to not fall unconscious. To focus on anything other than to look down her leg she was pretty sure was missing, because she couldn't feel it. And between gasps she was crying. Cold and going into shock for sure. On a different line she could barely grasp her girls' pain, they were hurt in some way and Mira couldn't move.

(Mira was the dancer, her whole life was to move. And she was frozen. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic)

The wrongness suddenly was gone. Sound came back.

She breathed and ignored the black dots on her vision.

Breathed.

Breathed...

...breathed...

Mira heard a sob that wasn't her own and she opened the eyes she didn't realize she had closed.

Zoey was crying, but Mira didn't have the energy to brush the tears off her cheeks. Both kneeled on each side of her.

"Zoey," Rumi said, demanding but not unkind. "We have to sing to heal her".

Their maknae only answer was wailing. So Rumi stood up and put Zoey's back to her chest and started singing.

"So we were cowards, so we were liars," Rumi started and Zoey took a deep breath to calm down. "So we're not heroes, we're still survivors-"
They started to sing together in the next line. "The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired-"
Mira joined them in the last one. Raspy and somewhat breathless.

"But dive in the fire and I'll be right here by your side," they sang slowly in unison. 

Zoey gasped. "Oh my god, oh my god".

Mira widened her eyes, more focused. "What? What happened?"

Rumi grabbed her hand. "Nothing bad, your leg looks like a leg and not like a flat bloody pancake anymore".

Mira relaxes. "It still hurts like a bitch".

But the hurt was there, at least. They all had a moment to recognize they were alive and somewhat okay. Breathing, watching the others and holding on to each other.

Their leader was the one who knew what to do next. She called their mentor.

"Celine, we need your help".

(It was their first words shared since that day. At least for Rumi)

12.

Noncomminuted patella fracture. She didn't need surgery because the bone wasn't displaced. Usually it would need wires and screws. Her ribs were full of hairline fractures. Celine had decided to only make her wear a cast and rest, because the honmoon would fix the other things in record time.

Mira, sometimes, was very glad she was a magical idol warrior.

On the other side, Zoey had broken almost all of her bones in her wrist, so they were 'cast buddys'. Hers was green.

After she heard what she needed, Mira had kicked Celine out that very next moment. The woman- skinnier, with big eye bags of a purple color -had nodded and left.

The cast was red and went from her foot to the middle of her tight. Zoey had drawn turtles close to the upper part and Rumi had drawn hearts and 'love you's. 

And now they were finally home.

The cast was itchy and the pain was duller but not gone and she was decidedly not clean. Zoey was about the same, which meant that Rumi had the job to take care of them, a job she took in stride.

When Rumi was bringing water to a sleeping Mira, she had passed through Zoey's door and heard crying. She put the glass on Mira's side table and ran quietly to knock on their maknae's door.

More sobs were her answer, so she opened the door. 

To find Zoey in tears sitting on the floor next to about ten of her notebooks. And Rumi didn't even need to ask what was going on.

"I can't wriiite or-or-or draaaw," Zoey sobbed out, hitting her cast into the floor with impotence. "Owwww".

Rumi also didn't need to ask if she was dropped.

She kneeled in front of her and smiled at the cutest Little to ever exist. "Have you taken your painkillers, Zo?"

"Nooo," she whined. "I have to take it with food, I'm hungry but can't make lunch-"

The half-demon nodded. "I made rice and bulgogi. Do you want to eat with me?" and she took Little's hand and guided her to the kitchen's aisle, to clean her nose with some tissues. "Sit, I'll bring you lunch," she took out two pain relief pills and gave them to her with a glass of water in her turtle cup. "You can pop these in for now".

Zoey's lower lip still trembled. "Thank you, Rumi".

She put a plate of warm food- that Celine had taught her -in front of the sad girl. 

"We can watch a show if you want? Or watch some of your videos? A nature documentary?" Rumi suggested.

And the Little stared at her plate, eating spoonful after spoonful with diligence and sadness. Rumi felt unsettled with the silence. Zoey usually had to be reminded to chew and swallow before speaking.

"Mira told me-" Rumi began and Zoey's widened eyes jumped to her. "She- well... I know we had a bit of disagreement about me touching your things when regressed. To then… the Donatello situation. And obviously I don't remember it... but I'm sorry-"

She stopped because Zoey flinched as if she had slapped her.

"Sorry, I will try to not touch your things without your permission. I told Mira to not let me be with you if you didn't want me to," with each word their lyricist was made smaller and smaller. "You don't have to feel bad. I know the baby can be like- a lot to handle".

The black-haired Little was deflated in her seat and Rumi could no longer see her eyes. Rumi observed how her breath was deep and slow, until her chest jumped with a sob. She didn't hesitate to run to hug her into her arms and with that, Zoey fell apart.

Zoey tried to burrow into her chest, shaking fists grabbing her hoodie. Rumi just held her tighter.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you like you take care of me," Rumi promised, holding her until the tears dried.

So Rumi worked hard.

(Rumi would always work herself to the bone. And give her bones away too)

She woke up early and made breakfast, quietly. 

No one needed to know that her hands sometimes shook into every step of the recipe.

She took a tray to Mira first, with her painkillers.

And she took a deep breath before going in. Every day.

"Good morning, Mira," she whispered to the girl who was always already awake staring at the ceiling. "Rice and eggs!"

She helped the dancer sit up and put the tray in her lap. And Mira was glaring at the door with anger, as she had for every day. The lavender scent from the wipes Rumi had brought and the nice perfume Mira used at home were the only smell. Her hair greasy, roots showing a bit. She no longer made a comment about it.

"Your... hair is looking a bit-"

"Fuck off".

"Do you need help washing-"

"I told you to fuck off, Rumi. I don't need you or your help!"

"Close the door... please".

Rumi just nodded. 

Her chest tightened as her hand left the doorknob.

Next she brought the tray to Zoey. She was sleeping, every extremity going in a different direction. 

"Good morning, Zoey," she whispered to then flicker a piece of her hear behind her ear, her head messy from the braid Rumi made* yesterday. "Time to eat".

The Little clenched her eyes and stretched until her bones cracked- Mira and she hated when she did that -to open both her eyes with a shy smile. 

"What is it today?" Zoey asked. 

(Not regressed today)

"Rice and eggs," she said the same way she spoke to Mira. "Still a bit runny, like you like it, " she assured her because Kid Zoey had cried when she had given her a well-done egg the last time.

Zoey winced and blushed. "Thank you. Um... do you-" she started and Rumi didn't want to hear what came next," do you want to drop today?"

A strained smile. "I'm good!"

Reluctance mixed with hurt. "Rumi... have you-?"

"I have to do the laundry now! Eat before it gets cold!"

And she ran.

(Rumi always runs when things get difficult)

Her breaths accelerated as if she was doing something wrong.

Her chin wobbled and she was cold in her chest. Rumi knew when she wanted to drop and she refused to do it. Not after messing everything up.

If Rumi had not been caught, if she had been faster, better, stronger-

Mira wouldn't have needed to save her and Zoey wouldn't have to distract that thing while she attacked. And no matter how many times she felt it, failure tasted like licking coins.

(It tasted like spilled blood)

When she was on the edge of ruin, she went to have a little break. 

Rumi went to her room, grabbed Kimchi, picked up her pacifier and sat on the rug in her room. She put an alarm in her phone for five minutes and just... hugged the best teddy in the world into her chest while sucking on her soother. Until breaths were calmer and her heart didn't feel like it was melting.

Before even getting half-way to the line on dropping, the alarm went off and she got up to put her pacifier next to Kimchi on her bed. She was a big girl, not a useless baby and now she had to prove it.

(Rumi didn't want her girls to hate her)

Her tears threatened to fall so she pushed them down.

She brushed the loose strands from her hair with her palms and started with the chores that needed to be done. Clothes, dishes, floors; all to be cleaned to perfection. Then the girls needed their other dose, so she went to Zoey's first. Rumi simply gave her a pill and a bottle of water and left before Zoey could take off her headphones.

She doubted in front of Mira's door.

"Just come in, Rumi," Mira yelled.

Rumi did and the dancer was scrolling through her phone this time. Without her voice, she offered her pills and sat on the chair next to the bed to sing. Mira flinched a bit as she sang- while the honmoon helped fix their injuries, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt -and then her expression relaxed as she sighed. The recuperation thanks to 'Dr. Honmoon' as Zoey likes to call it, would last about three weeks to a month, much less than the usual six months it would take to heal a fracture on the kneecap to any other person. Zoey's singing sessions always worked better at night, so she could sleep better, but Mira wanted them in the afternoon.

"Have you dropped, Rumi?" Mira asked, out of nowhere just when she was getting ready to get out.

She froze and turned. "Yes," and she hid the 'kind-of' that followed.

A suspicious glance. "Are you lying to me?"

"No, Mira," she whispered while staring at the floor, feeling like a little girl being reprimanded. "I have things to do now, if you excuse me-"

"Rumi," Mira said with sterness. "You- just... take it easy, alright?"

Rumi nodded and left. And answered e-mails, contacted people for new arrangements thanks to this hiatus and read over contracts. 

She neglected to clean the slashes that were on her back- again, again, again, again. 

(Pain always helped her focus anyways)

13.

Mira, too restless and sleeping in two hour intervals that left her exhausted, had been prescribed sleeping pills, just like Zoey. And Mira with the promise of being able to sleep for the whole night had decided to just take them. The downside? It just made her have weird dreams.

Dreams about past memories.

Mira was small, six-years old and had sprained her ankle while dancing in her room and-

And-

"Get up, Mi-rae, you're making a spectacle of yourself," her father demanded.

"She always does this! She wants to be the center of attention with her little lies!" her mother accused.

Mira wanted to scream that she wasn't lying, that it really hurt, that she could show them, but between tears no words came out from her mouth. And they left her there.

Min-ho later brought her some painkillers and an ice-pack, but he didn't stay to console her.

Or when Mira was nine, and she had what she could describe as the worst cold of her life. It ended up being pneumonia.

"You'll go to school! I won't let you be in bed doing nothing," her father spat out.

"Do you want us to pity you? I don't have time for your theatrics!" her mother yelled.

She went to school and ended up in the infirmary after second period. Mira went home early with her brother, with a high fever and low oxygen levels. Min-ho had to call an ambulance and she stayed in the hospital for three days. No one came to visit her.

Or when Mira was twelve and got her period for the first time.

"Don't talk to me about this! Go talk to your mother! Honestly!" her father hissed.

"You're a big girl, Mi-rae, figure it out. It's not that hard. How can you be so useless?" her mother rolled her eyes.

Minho found her crying in the bathroom and left for an hour. He came back with pads, some pills of mefenamic acid and mint chocolate, her favorite. He left them with her to then send a video of how to put a pad on. And Mira identified for the first time what she felt.

Neglected.

So she woke up and noticed the time. Mira frowned when she saw that it was way past the time Rumi went to give her breakfast and her pills. 

Regret and guild flooded her heart at how she had been treating Rumi. It was not her fault, but she had never been as hurt as this and when she felt this vulnerable Mira always tried to hide. Also, she was the protector, the guardian, the Caregiver, so this whole situation made her feel... pathetic.

She didn't want anyone to see, especially her girls. 

Mira was the one who gave baths, made food, cleaned tears and cared for them. And now she was in a position that one of her Littles had to attend to her needs and nurse her back to health.

Pitiful. Embarrassing.

Deep in her tourmoul, another hour passed. So Mira decided to call and it went straight to voicemail. She called Zoey even if she knew that she silenced her phone to go to sleep and slept like the dead. And their rooms were soundproof, so no screaming.

She watched the crutches she used to go to her bathroom. It hurt like hell to use them for a few meters and their penthouse was gigantic. But Mira could move with pure stubbornness if she wanted to. She grabbed them, huffed and stood up. Mira took two fibbled steps, put one end of the crutches over a sock on accident and fell with such a lack of dexterity that her head hit the wooden end of her bed as she fell. 

The world started to go black but she refused to faint.

That still didn't change the fact that one of her crutches was on the other edge of her room, her head throbbed and she was lying with her back to the floor.

Mira didn't know how to stand up.

Tears and sniffles were the sign of defeat in battle. Crying fully, with snot and those pathetic whimpers and sobs.

She was just... tired.

Her phone was thankfully in her pocket and decided to ring in her moment of need. She picked up without seeing who was calling.

"What?" she snapped, tears rolling down her temples.

"Mira, what's happening? Why are you crying?" Celine asked, concerned.

Mira pursed her lips. "Why the fuck do you care?"

A sigh of frustration. "Mira... please?"

And the pink-haired girl was aware of her own mommy issues to recognize that her mentor had won this time. "Shit! I fell and-and I can't get up," a sob left her lips, "the girls aren't answering either. I don't know what's wrong-"

"Alright, Mira. I'll go to you, don't worry. Uh... there's a blue demon tiger in front of me that refuses to die or leave," Celine explained. "It has Rumi's phone... do you know what's going on?"

"That's Derpy, he's Rumi stupid spirit cat," Mira said. "He hasn't hurt anyone, ever".

Celine made an unconvinced hum. "He's trying to make me ride him. Hey! Go! Shoo, shoo, listen to me!"

That made Mira chuckle. "Maybe he's trying to bring you here... he can use some portals but we had never seen him using them with other people".

"Alright... demon cat, take me to my girls, please," Celine grumbled.

Mira's heart leaped. My girls... she had to stop and remember that she was mad at Celine.

Then she heard Celine scream into her ear and then scream into the living room.

Derpy could teleport people now... Mira refused to stress about it right at this moment.

Mira heard a nasty fall outside in the living room, but Celine quickly opened her door and she was so glad- and at the same time, angry that she was glad -that her mentor had come.

“Oh, Mira…” Celine cooed and tears escaped Mira’s eyes like water escaped an unclogged faucet.

Fuck, she hated that under Celine’s worried eyes, Mira would always be that teen that had arrived starved for love.

(A bigger hidden part… loved to be one of Celine’s girls)

“C’mon, let’s get you up in bed,” Celine whispered and Mira was too tired to be bitter.

But she could still be petty. “I don’t like you right now”.

Celine pursed her lips. “I know”.

“You hurt us, all of us, when you were supposed to take care of us,” she said, crying.

“I know,” she whispered.

“You told Rumi to hide from us,” she spitted out. “You made her feel… unwanted and unloved”.

Celine closed her eyes in pain, putting Mira delicately on her bed. “I-I…know-”

“You acted like my parents,” she admitted in a whisper.

And that was the heart of everything, wasn’t it? Celine was supposed to be different, to be everything her parents weren’t and yet…

And yet.

“Mira… I’m so sorry…” Celine bit a sob.

With trembling fingers and obviously tired arms… Celine hugged her… and Mira hugged her back.

“I’m sorry, my girl, so much. I hurt all of you so deeply…”

“I’m angry at you,” Mira said, tightening the hug. “But that’s not an excuse for you to avoid us or leave us. You were the one who said we had to fix what we messed up, right?”

Celine kissed her forehead and nodded with her cheek against her hair. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry… I’ll fix what I broke, I promise”.

“I’m sorry-”

“What are you going to do now, Mira? Cry because you messed up or try to fix it?”

“... I want to fix it”.

“Good,” Celine took her hand. “Then let’s go”.

Suddenly, Mira broke the hug.

“You have to check on Rumi. Something’s wrong,” Mira urged Celine to help the half-demon.

Celine froze for a second and turned to see out of Mira’s room, obviously thinking of going to Rumi’s. A determined look replaced the nervous one and Celine kissed her forehead again and left quickly.

Celine left her hand on the doorknob. The last time she had seen Rumi…

("Do what you should have done-”)

She shook the memory, Celine came to check on her girls, not to duel in… the past.

She opened the door.

The place was dark, curtains shut. A bump on the bed, purple long braid the only thing she could see of Rumi. Breathing was labored, little whimpers could be heard.

Celine moved.

She moved the quilt to find… a six-eyed bird. That hissed and picket at her hand to then fly away. But Celine couldn't focus on that.

Because she was seeing Rumi's back.

 The infected gashes on Rumi's back, yellow puss and yellow scabs, the skin around the gashes an angry red and touching a place in her back she found it feverish and she could smell the bad odor too. Her t-shirt was ripped in the middle as if cut with scissors and some used gauzes were peeled back from the wounds.

“Rumi…” she whispered. 

("Do what you should have done-)

She brushed her hair with her hands to put in a ponytail and got to work.

First task, to call Bobby.

“Bobby,” Celine commanded without letting him speak. “I need injectable antibiotics, some gauzes and a wound care and sutures kit. To the penthouse and you better hurry”.

“Yes, Celine,” Bobby answered, then hung up .

Celine picked Rumi like a toddler and put her on her hip- her girl didn't even react -and brought her to the bath, which she filled with room temperature water, because if it was too cold it could bring Rumi into shock.

Celine took off her shoes and submerged with Rumi so she couldn't drown and waited for Bobby to arrive.

The man arrived in ten minutes.

He found them in the bath and his face changed from worried to panicked at Rumi's state.

“Help me bring her to her bed,” Celine ordered.

Bobby did as asked. He cooed sweet things to a drowsy and barely awake Rumi. The bath had clearly helped in lowering the fever. But now came the worst part.

They laid Rumi face down and Celine dried her body, except for her back, with the sheets. Then Celine noticed Rumi was wearing underwear, so Celine instructed Bobby to put her on a pull-up while she cleaned herself up.

Celine saw herself in the mirror- afraid and determined, which was her natural state -and put a mask over her face and gloves over her clean hands.

She grabbed some clean sheets and tied Rumi's wrists to the bedpost with them. Bobby threw her a look that meant he had concluded on what was coming.

But first, the injection to Rumi's backside. The girl whined but didn't move otherwise.

“Bobby, sit on her legs,” Celine said.

Bobby did, reluctantly.

“I'm sorry, babygirl,” Celine whispered.

So Celine began with the hardest thing: cleaning the wound; for what she had to peel the infected tissue and remove the yellow scabs with some tweezers and gauze. 

And that woke Rumi right up, making the half-demon scream and try to twist away from the pain. Bobby tried to calm her down, but Rumi wasn’t in a position to listen.

Celine had to work faster and Rumi was drowning in her own sobs, clearly dazed by the fever and confused by the pain. Rumi, with a strength she shouldn’t possess by how ill she was, lifted her hips to try to throw Bobby off and moved so much that Celine had a hard time cleaning the infection.

She grabbed Rumi’s chin to make her stare and Celine’s face.

“Rumi! You have to stop moving! Your wound is infected and we have to clean it so it doesn’t get worse, stay still, please!” Celine begged without gentleness and pure desperation.

“Cece, no, please, no,” Rumi screamed and from pure pain, she wet her pull-up.

Celine had to ignore her pleas. She continued to work diligently, while Bobby cried silently over Rumi.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be quick, just hold on,” Celine tried to comfort.

But even if Rumi no longer fought them, that didn’t stop her begging.

“MIMI! ZOZO! Stop, help, HELP! MIMI!” 

Rumi sobbed.

“Cece, no more, please, NO MORE”.

Rumi wailed.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be good!”

Rumi shouted.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t-”

Rumi wept.

“Cece, can we be done? Please, can we be done now?”

“Demons won’t stop because you’re tired, Rumi”.

“I know, but-”

“Do you want to be strong? I won’t always be there to save you”.

“I understand…”

“Let’s continue then”.

At the end, when everything was cleaned and she covered the gashes with antibiotic cream, Celine could finally cover the angry wounds and let them rest.

“No more… no more… no more…” Rumi repeated, her voice hoarse.

Celine made Bobby stop stranding Rumi’s legs and she untightened her hands. She picked her up and brought her into a hug, letting Rumi cry everything she had inside. Celine rocked her on her lap just as she used to do when Rumi didn’t reach her hip. Even her sobs sounded tired.

“I know, baby, I know. We’re all done, you were so brave and good,” Celine let some tears fall, she was exhausted too. “You were always good, Rumi. I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry… you were always the best thing in my life, I should have never made you doubt it”.

Rumi buried herself deeper into her embrace. 

It’s been a long time since Celine's blouse had been smeared in tears. Oh, she didn’t even know that she missed it.

14.

Bobby had left. They had assured the girls about the screaming and that Rumi was being taken care of. They were cuddling on Rumi’s bed, Celine hugging her while her girl rested her face on her chest.

“I didn’t envision our first meeting being like this,” Rumi whispered, when tears were already spent.

Celine hummed. “Me neither… I even had a whole speech planned”.

Rumi raised her head to stare and Celine’s eyes. “Really?”.

Celine kissed Rumi’s head and sighed. “Really”.

“I talked to you when I was regressed…”

She smiled sadly. “Yes, I know. I’m glad you did”.

Rumi wet her lips. “I’m sorry about… asking you to-”

("Do what you should have done a long time ago”.)

Celine hugged her closer. “No… I’m sorry I made you believe I could… do something like that to you…” a shaky sigh escaped her lips. “Do you still feel… that way?”

Rumi let out a groan-like sound. “No… I was just desperate and hopeless. I thought nobody loved me. Not the girls… nor you”.

“I love you, Rumi,” Celine admitted. “With all my heart and with my whole soul. Like Mira and Zoey. I’m so sorry I didn’t say it enough”.

Rumi made herself into a little ball. “I love you too… but-”

Her girl cut herself off, but Celine could give her a bit of bravery to take everything out of her chest.

“It’s okay. You can say whatever you want. I’ll listen and I can take it”.

Rumi’s voice got really small. “I love you… like you wanted me to love… Mi-yeong. And I’m sorry for that. I don’t want another eomma, I always just had you… and I was happy with that”.

Celine’s heart was being stabbed. “Rumi-”

“I think that Mi-yeong would be happy that you were my eomma and wouldn’t get mad that I called you that… so… can I call you eomma, please?”

Celine let out a wet self-depricating laugh. “She would be so much better at this, she loved you so much, Rumi”.

Rumi brought one of Celine’s hands close, to kiss her over her knuckles. “Maybe, but I had you… and that was enough… that is enough”.

And with tears running down her face, Celine could admit that she didn’t want Rumi to live on another lie again.

“Yes, baby. You can call eomma if you want… I’m sorry it took so long”.

It was as if she had cut a string that caged Rumi for a long time. Rumi started to purr over her heart and Celine didn’t even know that she had missed her purring.

“I suffered through potty training for nothing, huh?” Celine commented to pat Rumi’s now dry pull-up.

Rumi let out a squeak and she didn’t even have to see her face to know she was blushing.

“Don’t tease!” she whined and Celine couldn't help but laugh. “Don’t laugh! Eomma, don’t be mean!”

Celine laughed some more and then kissed Rumi’s forehead, while she pouted. With her eyes she scanned the room and found a pacifier and offered it to the clearly close to a drop Little. Rumi accepted it with a tiny growl, but quickly fell asleep as she did when she was a toddler.

She hugged her one more time and disentangled the sleeping girl to put Kimchi in her arms. Rumi nuzzled the bear and relaxed even more. She gave her another kiss and tucked her in. The big blue tiger jumped on the bed to watch her.

Celine left the room, letting the door ajar so she could hear her.

Mira cleared her throat from her place in the living room- where she asked Bobby to move her -to signal Celine that they needed to talk too.

Celine had never escaped from a battle, so sat next to the dancer.

“I heard what you said to her,” Mira began.

Celine nodded.

“How could you-?” she tightened her fist on her lap. “You didn’t hug her when she cried and now you act like-like- I don’t know”.

Celine opened her mouth to then close it again.

“Are you going to say something?!” Mira spat out.

Celine grabbed her pants to not fidget. “I don’t want to make excuses, Mira”.

Mira huffed the same way she did as a teenager and crossed her arms. “Well I want to hear them, so talk”.

“I was… the only one left. Two pieces of my soul were gone, forever,” Celine started.

Mira made a face of anguish- surely thinking of that happening to her too -to then show impassivity. “So you decided to neglect a baby”.

Celine chuckled. “No… I was the only one left… as a hunter and as an idol. I had to keep the honmoon alive until the next generation could take the reins, I had to fight, on my own, hordes of demons that dared to show up and I had to raise an infant,” she recounted. “There weren’t enough hours of the day to do it all… so I told myself: ‘I just have to keep them alive, the people, the honmoon and Rumi’. I just had to make sure they all survived and tackle one problem at a time”.

Mira frowned. “When did you rest?”

She shrugged. “That was the problem, wasn’t it? I made sure Rumi was fed, clean and safe. But I needed to sleep a few hours at least or I couldn't keep others safe… so when she cried because she was fussy or sad or scared… I had to ignore her. And-and I had read that if you let them cry they would soothe themselves”.

Mira almost yelled. “Why didn’t you ask for help? Hired someone?”

“Who? I was raising a half-demon, while not letting anyone have a glimpse of Rumi, in case they wanted to kidnap her or hurt her. So I just told myself… keep her alive, keep her alive”.

Mira shook her head. “You could- you had to-”

Celine nodded. “I could have done so many things, Mira. But I had to try to hide when I got hurt too, because Rumi was so perceptive and she got even more scared if I returned bleeding or limping. And I had to sleep so I could function… I almost made it four days without sleeping, but that time I passed out in the middle of the stage”.

“I saw that video,” Mira winced. “But why didn’t you tell me? Why did you make it sound-?”

“Because I regret it, Mira. Every time Rumi begged me to not go, every time she couldn’t sleep in her room, every time I arrived and she was soiled; I regret it daily, by the minute, what I did to her,” a sob escaped and she covered her face in shame. “I wondered all the time what else could I do, but I didn’t know how to solve it. And I made a baby learn how to survive but I never taught her how to live and I was… such a monster to her”.

Mira swallowed, uncomfortable and hurt in seeing her stoic mentor just… fall apart. The last time she had seen someone so full of regret was-

“Mi-rae… Mira, you have to go. Leave this fucking mess and be a star and prove them wrong”.

“Min-ho… your cheek… dad slapped you so hard…”

“Nevermind that. Take the money and go to the audition”.

“How- I - what? You just let him hurt me for years, not saying anything against them- Why should I listen to you now?”

“... hate me all you want, but go away and live”.

“...and you’ll stay”.

“Someone has to be the good child. And it will never be you”.

Mira sighed and hugged Celine.

“You’re not a monster… you’re just human… and that’s okay,” she relaxed, “...everything is okay”.

After every tear was shed and Mira left to be in her room, she texted her brother.

Mira(me) - 19:49

Hey, big bother. What's up?

15.

Rumi didn't know where to hide.

They were all sitting at the kitchen aisle, Zoey across from her and Mira on the head of the table, between them, with her arms crossed. Now clean, after letting Rumi bathe her without a single complaint.

Shame crawled through her patterns the same way that they did before Rumi told them everything.

She had promised to not hide or lie anymore. To lean on her girls, to ask for help and to be honest. And still… she had gotten a nasty infection that almost killed her because she didn't say anything.

What she didn't understand is why Zoey looked ashamed too. She was curled inwards, like a turtle hiding on its shell, eyes wet and pointing downward. 

Rumi was afraid that she had made Zoey feel that way, when their maknae hadn't done anything wrong. For now Rumi could only throw glances at Mira, who hadn't moved since she had ordered for them to ‘talk’. She didn't know if to interpret her stance as seriousness or anger.

Her lower lip started to wobble at the possibility- who was she kidding? More like reality -of making Mira mad at her.

Mira looked at her and offered a tissue to clean her nose, but not doing anything else to cut the unbearable silence.

Rumi decided to be brave and speak first.

“I'm sorry-”

“New rule,” Mira interrupted. “Sorries and apologies are forbidden until I say so”.

Rumi's teeth clicked with the force she used to close her lips.

“What do you want us to say then?” Zoey muttered.

Mira raised one single eyebrow. “So far you guys have said nothing… so anything really”.

Rumi rubbed her fingers on the sleeve of the hoodie, trying to figure out what to do.

“I'll start then,” Mira said. “I'm not angry-”

“-Just disappointed?” Zoey guessed.

Mira shook her head. “I'm a bit sad, actually… and scared”.

Both of them deflated at her words.

“I'm sad that I made you feel like we couldn't talk about stuff, the ugly and hard parts too. I'm scared that you will not tell me if something is going with you… until it's too late,” and she let out a shaky sigh. “So that's what I'm feeling and thinking…”.

Rumi's tears escaped her eyes even when she tried with all her might to hold onto them.

Mira held her hand and rubbed it with her thumb as consolation.

And that's when something in Zoey's exploded.

“You like Rumi better than me,” Zoey said. “And I understand, but also I hate it and I-” a sob. “I don't know what to do about it”.

Mira offered a tissue to Zoey and then held her hand too, while tears cascaded down the caregiver’s face too. Zoey and Rumi shared a worried glance.

“Mira…?” Rumi tried.

“Ignore me, I'm a sympathetic crier,” Mira said, her face stoic.

Anger surfaced on Zoey's heart at that being Mira's only answer. “Well?! Aren't you going to say something?! That it is not true!? That I'm exaggerating?!”

Mira's face softened. “I'm not going to interrupt until you're done, Zo”.

Zoey slammed the table with her other hand, tears falling and falling. “I'm not throwing a tantrum!”

Mira stared at her and held her hand tighter. “I know, I just want you to get everything out of your chest. You can be angry-”

“I'm not angry, I'm hurt! Why can't I be enough?!”

Silence stretched. Zoey's breathing was accelerated and her face red. Tears kept falling so she rubbed them away harshly.

“Zoey-” Rumi whispered.

“I don't want to talk to you!” Zoey yelled.

Mira threw her a look and Zoey made herself small.

“We can’t scream at each other,” Mira reminded them.

After Zoey’s yelling occupied so much space, Rumi didn’t know what to say to fill the emptiness it left. However, she had to at least try.

“I don’t know what to do, except to apologize, so- I just- I don’t know what to say,” Rumi admitted. “I feel guilty… I feel like everything is my fault- no, I know everything is my fault. I wish I could fix everything, Zo… so everything could be the way it was”.

Zoey rubbed her eyes. “I don’t want everything to be as it was. I don’t want you to keep hiding… I just feel like I’m not a priority anymore… and I don’t know how not to feel that way”.

Mira wet her lips and took a big breath. “The first truth about me is that you both are my priority, both of you in the first place, no one is over the other”.

“I don’t know how to share you and not feel bad,” Zoey admitted in a whisper, covering her head with her hood and pulling the strings to not see them.

Their caregiver pursed her lips. “It’s hard for me to balance it all too… but I have a request for you Rumi. Could you stop avoiding not going in public while small? I hate to choose who to spend time with because you don’t want to be seen. When you’re regressed you can’t also understand why we leave… so you also make yourself miserable”.

Rumi’s shoulders dropped. “I was afraid to be seen as incompetent or useless if they saw me be that small… but they already think that, so sure,” Rumi whispered, defeated.

“I don’t want you to keep pleasing people,” Mira then glanced at Zoey, “neither of you. If we lose fans we lose them, if we lose sponsors we let them go, if we are thrown into being obsolete… we let ourselves be free. The honmoon is already strong, we have enough money to do whatever we want until we die and… I don’t want to keep fighting for people to see us. I think we don’t deserve that”.

Rumi’s mouth hung. “You can’t be serious, what would we even do?”

Mira shrugged. “We train, we laugh, we learn and we live; putting one foot in front of the other. We had given the world enough of us… we could simply disappear”.

Zoey spoke with one eye peaking from the hood. “I don’t want to retire yet…”

“Me neither…” Rumi whispered.

Mira nodded. “I don’t want to either… but I need us to be our first priority. Drop what is unhealthy for us, build a structure we can rely on, lean on each other… that last one goes for me too. I don’t let myself be cared for, too much”.

“Or at all,” Zoey and Rumi said in unison. 

Mira threw them a mock glare. “Brats, the both of you”.

They giggled for a bit.

Zoey bit her lip. “Rumi… why did you bite Donatello?”

Rumi blushed. “I remember that I found his glow in the dark eyes scary… and I thought, ‘I have to protect Zozo from the scary thing in her room’ so I destroyed him, to show him who was boss”.

The girls looked at each other and broke into a laugh. Until Mira stopped.

“You remember something you did when you regressed?!” Mira asked, a mix of happy and astonished.

Rumi blinked. “Oh… I guess I did, yes”.

Zoey interrupted. “I feel guilty of what I said to you… I was really angry and I want you to hurt as much as I did”.

Rumi grabbed Zoey’s other hand with soft eyes. “I get it, I don’t hold it against you, Zo. You have always been the best friend I could have, Little or Big”.

Zoey smiled, teary-eyed. “You too. You have always been sweet… I didn’t even wonder why you did that. You had never been purposefully mean to me and that means everything”. 

Rumi looked at Mira. “And I’m really thankful for the patience you have given me. Even if I made things difficult, you always protected me and did as I asked”.

Zoey nodded. “Yes, Mira. You have always been great… that is why it’s so hard to share you… and even if sometimes it is hard, I want to have you both in my life all the time”.

Suddenly, all of them were crying, saying how much they loved each other.

(How happy they were that these tears were being shared thanks to the love they had for each other)

16.

The lights were bright but not blinding. A quiet chatter could be heard from the shadows, not overwhelming but present, giving an ambience of a busy place that wasn’t at its full capacity. A hand grabbed her own and Rumi turned to Zoey’s shy smile. 

“It will be okay,” Zoey encouraged. “We just have to be here and be cute. And have you looked at us? That will be the easiest job ever”.

Rumi nodded and tried to smile at her attempts of lifting her spirits. “I just- I don’t know…”

Zoey’s expression turned serious. “You don’t have to drop if you don’t want to, Ru”.

They were going to participate in a charity livestream with other k-pop artists to raise money for Littles in care homes, the ones who lived under the watch of the government. The program was to do activities to encourage people to adopt or to expend time with Littles. Zoey had participated in dozens of such charities, being of the few idols that were out about their classification as Littles, but for obvious reasons… it would be Rumi’s first. They had reached out to the leader of Huntr/x because Rumi was one of the youngest in headspace that had disclosed that information and they wanted to encourage people into adopting young Littles. 

The thought of ending up in those care homes gave Rumi such a level of anguish that she had accepted immediately. The girls had been really supportive and had only asked Rumi to give her boundaries and request to the organizing team. 

Zoey was wearing a green open hoodie with a turtle patterned t-shirt under it and  jean shorts. She had a pair of white light-up shoes- like Rumi! -and long blue socks with ocean waves. Her wrists were full of colorful bracelets and her hair was up in her usual space-buns but with yellow and green hair ties. Her whole outfit was chosen by her, ‘to gain the most cuteness points’.

Rumi had help with hers, a mix of Mira’s and Zoey’s suggestions. She had a brown hoodie, with some bear ears in the hood, fingerless gloves attached to its sleeves, with some paw prints in each hand. Zoey had picked some brown joggers of the same color of her hoodie with lighter patches on her knees. Mira had braided her hair in a four strand braid that was less tighter on her roots. Her beloved bear sock was hidden in the hoodie’s pocket. Under it, she was wearing a blue t-shirt with a picture of a red train that extended in three rows, one under the other and a pull-up- just in case! -that she had checked a hundred times that no one could notice.

They shared the table where they would be recorded with two boys and another girl. One was called Bean- the oldest in headspace, at eleven -a quiet Little who had acted on the latest famous k-drama and he was sat in front of them at the other end. Nari was next to Zoey , a girl from another upcoming k-pop girl group, who wore a frilly pink dress and headspace fell on four to six, she was a bit of a brat and clearly was used to being treated as princess, with a literal crown over her head. The last one was Chul and his headspace was the same as their maknae, he sat a bit grumpy, wearing some car sweatshirt and Rumi was pretty sure he was a youtuber. 

Rumi was on the other end of the table next to Zoey, turning her head from time to time to check that Mira was watching, the caregiver offering a smile, a kiss, or a wink every time she turned around.

“Three minutes to start,” someone yelled and movement stilled in some places, while others moved even faster.

Zoey raised her hand. “Bean, can we change places? Please-please-please?” she pouted.

Bean shrugged. “Sure, I don’t mind”.

Zoey grabbed her hand and brought her to his place while Bean helped them move Rumi’s chair. Rumi’s confusion lasted a second until she could finally stare at Mira without having to turn her head. The caregiver waved and Rumi closed and opened her hand in a shy gesture.

“Pay attention here, guys!” the moderator clapped her hands to gain her attention. “We will start the activity with you guys playing with some blocks to build. Remember that people can give away some money until we reach a certain amount to make you do some things- nothing horrible! - while recording. So sometimes we will interrupt with some questions or objects. Let’s have some fun, huh?” she smiled.

“Okay,” they all answer.

“Ten seconds!” someone yells.

“Show face on, people!”

Zoey put on her beaming dimpled smile, Chul frowned even more heavily, Nari made a smirk and Bean gave a shy smile. Rumi swallowed and unconsciously made some puppy dogs eyes while twiddling her lower lip with her thumb. Zoey, noticing her anxiety’s signs, held her hand and leaned on her shoulder. Something in her chest unclenched at noticing she wasn’t really alone in this.

“We’re live, guys! Say hi to the chat,” the moderator encouraged.

“Hi, chat!” they said in unison.

“We have from right to left… Bean!”

Bean raised his hand and saluted with two fingers to his temple.  “‘Sup”.

“Princess Nari!”

“Hi, everyone!” she said, waving with both her arms in the air.

“Our grumpy Chul!”

He pouted and slouched more in his seat. “Whatever…”

“The sweetest idol… Zoey from HUNTR/X!”

Zoey put both her hands together and gave an excited bow. “Thank you for inviting me again! Let’s have some fun!”

“And the kpop princess and the Little of the hour… Rumi from HUNTR/X!”

“Hi…” she whispered.

She heard cooing from the room and blushed to hide her hands in her pocket to clench her fist in her sock.

Zoey hugged her shoulder and pointed an accusing finger to her camara. “Rumi is a bit shy right now, so you better be nice to her!”

The room gave them a laugh at her display and Rumi gave Zoey a thankful look. She took a second to look at Mira, who gave her a smile even when her eyes denoted her nervousness.

“Alright, people. We will give our audience five minutes to donate… the one who donates the most can say something directly to one of our guests. Time starts now!” 

Zoey sat down and Rumi did too. The maknae started to give some blocks to Rumi.

“Why can’t we use Legos? Duplo is for babies,” Chul exclaimed out loud to then look at the purple-haired girl, who was too busy picking some brown blocks to notice the comment.

Zoey, instead, did notice and gave Mira a glance to see that the pinkhaired girl did too.

The mediator giggled nervously. “We don’t want someone to choke, buddy”.

“Yeah, because they invited a baby,” Nari muttered loud enough for Rumi to lift her head.

Rumi fidgeted with a brown block but Zoey simply pursed her lips and glared to then look at her other member with a smile. “Do you want to build something together?”

A relief flooded her insides and she nuzzled the girl’s shoulder with her cheek making Zoey giggle. “Um- I wanted to make a bear…”

Zoey showed a knowing smile, biting her lip to not laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Rumi asked, confused.

Zoey chuckled. “Because I kind of imagined you would”.

Rumi nudged her with her shoulder and Zoey laughed this time.

Zoey nudged her back. “You begin with the body, I will work with the head”.

They started working in tandem. Rumi and Zoey never had trouble acting like a team. Nari was whining about needing more pink blocks, Chul was picking every blue block in his radius and Bean was throwing some brown blocks gently into Rumi’s reach. 

“Five minutes have come and gone! huntrix09light has something to say… to Rumi!” Rumi glanced up and stared at the camera with a small smile. “Let’s see… ‘You are the most adorable baby bear, Rumi! And Zoey is cute as always. Do you like teddy bears? Do you have a teddy yourself?’ they said”

Rumi brushing her fingers into the bear sock, to take a moment to not stammer. “Um… I like teddies. My teddy is called Kimchi and he’s friends with Jami, Zoey’s stuffy”.

“He’s a turtle! I have had him since I was ten!” Zoey exclaimed.

Rumi nodded excitedly, she loved talking about her teddy and now she wanted to add something with Zoey’s interruption. “Zoz- Zoey! An-an’ Mira won him in the arcade, before we debuted and he’s been with me since”.

Zoey shared another glance with Mira. She was biting her lip and staring at Rumi, clearly worried that she was dropping and fast.

“She even speaks like a stupid baby,” Chul muttered. And Zoey wasn’t sure if his mic picked it up but she did and, in pure instinct, kicked him in his shin. 

And maybe, that would be an action that Big Zoey wouldn’t have done, but Kid Zoey was glad with hers. 

Chul was a cry baby so he cried out, glared at her and tried to pull her hair but Zoey grabbed his hand before he could. Rumi straightened out and bared her teeth with a low growl.

“Don’ touch Zoey!” Rumi screamed.

“Chul!” the moderator gasped.

“She kicked me first!” Chul pointed at their maknae.

“You were being mean!” Zoey yelled back.

Chul made himself bigger but before he could do anything a voice stopped him.

“Don’t you freaking dare, little boy,” Mira’s voice stilled the boy and he glanced to receive the coolest look Mira could give. “Or you’ll see what happens”.

Zoey smirked and showed him her tongue, hiding from the camera. Chul went a funny color of red, full of anger. 

The moderator clapped her hands. “Let’s take a breather, kiddos. We are all friends here, right?”

“No,” Zoey, Rumi, Chul and Nari said in unison. Bean laughed.

The moderator’s smile tightened. “Next activity! You guys are going to imitate some movements and remember them to add them to the next move. The one who makes a mistake loses.. let’s see who has the best memory”.

Everyone stood up.

Chul stomped his foot. “That’s not fair! They all dance!”

Zoey rolled her eyes. “Who is the stupid one now,” she muttered to him while she walked next to him.

The boy sneered at her but didn’t do anything. Zoey knew how scary Mira could be to others, if only they knew how much of a softie she was. She focused on the brat that was trying to hurt Rumi and decided she had a new enemy then and there. Forget demons, she would make that little shit pay.

And when some man started to move so they could copy him… Zoey could be mistaken for Mira with how she moved. Bean was relaxed and Nari’s moves were tight. Rumi was a bit slower, which was not a surprise with how close to a drop she was, but a good thing about training since you could walk was that Rumi could still do it with a broken foot and bruised hip. Because she already had.

Chul was already a step away from losing, but surprisingly, after the seventh movement it was Nari who forgot the fifth one and messed up. And consequently fell to the floor and crossed her arms with the utmost petulance.

Rumi, on seeing that, stopped and looked around for someone to comfort the grumpy Little and when no one moved to do so, she went to sit in front of her to pat her leg.

“Rumi!” Zoey yelled, to then giggle. Classic Rumi to freak out when someone was upset. 

When they were on the seventeenth move, Chul was sweating- he was a gamer youtuber -and having a hard time memorizing and executing the new moves. On the twentieth, he messed up the thirteenth one and consequently lost too. 

He didn’t lose gracefully.

Chul’s face went red til his ears and when Zoey stock her tongue out, he went to push her but she quickly ran, still dancing and when he started running after her, Bean messed up after losing his focus. Zoey jumped in celebration and completed the twenty-fifth movement. Before Chul could tackle her, Bean grabs him from his hips and raises him to the ceiling, as you do with a grumpy cat.

Zoey knew Bean had it handled, so she went to celebrate.

“Rumi, I won!”

Rumi stood up and went to hug her and they both bounced around laughing.

“Good job, Zoey! You win… a sticker sheet!” the moderator says. 

Well, that was disappointing.

“...yay…” Zoey said, while pumping a fist in mock excitement.

“C’mon you can keep building things,” the moderator invited them and it was clear to Zoey that she was a Neutral and not a Caregiver.

Bean put Chul in his chair while Zoey guided Rumi back to their seats grabbing her hand. The boy slumped on his seat.

“I’m not going! It was not fair!” Nari exclaimed.

Bean appeared next to her and crouched. “Do you want me to carry you?”

“...yeah,” the spoiled girl muttered and threw out her arms with a pout. Bean let her climb into his back and dropped her gently on her seat

When they all sat in their seats and they continued, sometimes answering questions or talking amongst themselves. 

 Until Rumi fully dropped.

Zoey noticed, when the girl started to struggle on sticking two blocks together and sucked on her lower lip. She was making her little frustrated growls and her hands moved in a clumsy way. No gracefulness.

“Good job, Ruru,” Zoey whispered.

Rumi glanced at her and gave her wet kiss on her cheek.

Then she looked at Mira and Zoey knew that was some bad news. Mira was far away and Rumi for sure wouldn’t like that.

Rumi whined softly and made some grabby hands to her. “Mimi,” she simply said.

Which meant in baby Rumi speak, ‘Mira come here and baby me, because you love me’. Zoey was knowledgeable in the technique. 

Mira looked around and tried to get closer, but a crew member stopped her. She started a hissing heated debate while Rumi started to get even more angsty.

“Mimi, come, please?” Rumi said louder and the rest looked up at her. The Little turned to Zoey, with wet eyes and a wobbling lip. “Zozo…”.

Zoey hugged her close, trying to avoid dramatic waterworks. “Hey… everything is okay, Ruru”.

Mira was still discussing with three crew members by now, a step away from brute forcing her way to them.

“Mimi-” Rumi whimpered for the last time as she let her tears fall and her sobs out.

When she started to cry, it was like a domino effect. Zoey couldn’t help but start too, then Nari and last the brat. Bean looked around him, panicked at the chain reaction. 

“We- um- we will come back soon-” the moderator started.

Mira’s yells interrupted. “-so help me, I’ll punch your lights out!”

And they were on break.

Mira shoved a crew member with all the force of a mama bear hearing her cubs cry, ran to them and hugged them in the best hug to ever be given. Other people, Nari’s group maknae and Chul’s brother ran to their sides as well.

HUNTR/X’s one and only Caregiver picked them up, one in each hip, and brought them to their shared dress room. Zoey giggled between tears when the people parted like the sea at Mira’s angry aura. Mira kicked the door open and kicked the door closed without a care, which meant that she was full on protective mode. She put Zoey on the couch, because Rumi crossed her arms on the dance’s neck when she tried to put her down, so Mira simply sat with her on her lap and she felt around the half-demon’s pull-up to find it wet, as she had suspected before even checking. She decided on comfort over cleanliness and hugged both girls as she released calming pheromones.

Zoey stuck into her side. “Chul is a bully! He was calling Rumi a stupid baby and I want to punch him!”

Mira bit her cheek to not laugh, because even if she wanted to, she couldn’t let Zoey punch a brat on a livestream for charity. She closed her eyes, relaxing her body after the adrenaline of protecting her girls. She looked down to find Rumi mostly calmed down while sucking her thumb and nuzzling her nose onto her neck. Mira kissed Rumi’s head then Zoey’s.

“I know, but don’t punch him. Don’t let him turn you into someone who isn’t sweet”.

Zoey huffed but Mira knew that was an agreement to her order.

Mira looked down to the sleepy Little that she couldn’t let sleep. She roused her with a little bounce of her knee and the girl whined in despair. “Oh, I know, baby. Let’s change and go play with some blocks. You were building a bear with Zozo, remember?”

“A teddy,” Rumi said, nuzzling her wet nose on Mira’s neck.

Mira hummed and kissed the hand that was being used by Rumi to soothe herself. Then she pulled out the thumb to give her a blue pacifier. She changed her quickly- she was a master at it by now -with some tissues she cleaned their noses and with some wet wipes she cleaned their faces.

And they were ready to roll. Being idols gave you resilience like no other.

Mira picked Rumi up and grabbed Zoey’s hand to leave the room. 

To find the little shit and the little shit’s brother.

“Hey!” she yelled to catch their attention. Both froze, turned and walked to her as if they were nearing the slaughterhouse. 

Mira stared them up and down. “Listen here, Chul,” Mira spouted out his name like it was the most disgusting thing that had grazed her lips. “You will leave my girls alone. No-no, I’m talking now, you insufferable brat,” she said with enough threatening energy to stop him from opening his mouth. “You better stop what you’re doing and behave like the most angelic Little in existence or you’ll find out what your measly two million followers are against our twenty million worldwide. Stop being a little shit, or else. Am I understood?”

It was a threat as it was a warning. HUNTR/X was on top of the world. Just last week a waiter had been harassed after spilling Rumi’s food in her lap, on accident. If the public thought of Chul as enough of an annoyance to the girls, there would be blood to pay. Their fans were not forgiving.

Thankfully, both siblings simply nodded and scrambled away.

Mira felt a little bad to see Nari swayed in a hug by her member, a bit weepy but Mira gave her a minute before she would be ready to go.

A bitterness rose about the need in an idol’s life to have short moments of reprieve, before being ready to perform. Break, clean your tears, put on make up, smile and charm everyone.

Mira thought it was a load of bullshit, but they all were raised on it.

She went close to a crew member that dealt with the mics. He paled when he saw her and Mira gave him a wolfy smile as she adjusted Rumi in her hold.

“I need a mic for the livestream,” Mira said.

The guy looked around him for someone to save him. “Uhh-”

“Don’t look at them. Look at me, or my girl will scream even louder when we’re live. Do you want that to happen? No? Mic me up, then”.

And the man ran to obey. 

After a few moments, they were sitting around the table. Mira used Rumi’s seat while she held her in her lap, her chest to Rumi’s back. Then she rubbed Zoey’s back to calm her down. The moderator seemed to want to share her opinion about the Caregiver’s actions and lack of permission to do them, but Mira sent her a look and she shut her mouth before she could let out a peep.

“We’re going live again! On three, two, one-”

“Welcome back, everyone! We had a little incident but everyone is back on their seat and ready to raise enough money for the care home programs we all know are needed!” the monitor squinted at the teleprompter. “And we welcome Mira and we feel really happy to have the full set of HUNTR/X here with us”.

The last part was not said with the enthusiasm of the other sentences, but she just glared at the moderator and put her show face on.

“Hello, everyone-”

“...llow,” Rumi whispered, cutely. Mira bit her lips to not squeal at the cuteness. 

“Yes, Rumi, say hello to the camara,” Mira whispered back and Rumi waved clumsily, opening and closing her fist. “Happy to be here for the cause. Let’s enjoy ourselves, huh?”

The monitor spoke again. “Oh, we have a question for Mira. ‘Is our independent queen Rumi a bit clingy when small? She’s the most adorable! Love from Brazil’ from hunhunbiz”.

Mira adjusted Rumi so she could rest her temple on her shoulder, Rumi was happy to hide while sucking her pacifier and Zoey included her in the building by giving her pieces to put together.

“She’s a clingy baby,” Zoey answered before her.

Mira rolled her eyes and flicked their maknae’s ear, making her giggle. “Both of them are a bit clingy, but I don’t mind, I prefer them to be close to me”.

“And another question for… Zoey and Rumi: ‘what do you like to do when dropped? I love to have tea parties. I love you, you three are perfect’ from hunterlight32”.

“We love you too!” Zoey exclaimed first. “Mmm… I like to play with my stuffies, I have lots”.

“Hundreds,” Mira said deadpanned. 

Zoey gasped. “Not true! A couple dozens only”.

“Hmm… whatever you say, sweetheart,” Mira smirked.

Zoey pouted and poked her with each word. “Meanie! Mean, mean, mean, Mira!”

Nari interrupted by raising her hand to talk too. “I like tea parties too!”

Mira nodded and bounced the sleepy Little on her lap. “And what do you like to do, Ruru?”

Zoey lifted her hand. “I know! I know, Mira!”

Mira rubbed the top of Zoey’s head, making the Little squeal. “Let’s give the baby a chance to talk, alright?”

Rumi hummed and sucked on her paci a few times. “D’ow…”

The moderator blinked in confusion. “Play-doh?”

Zoey rolled her eyes and shook her head. “No! She said draw! She loves to draw with her crayons”.

From her tone alone Mira knew that Zoey wanted to end that sentence with ‘stupid’, but had learned the lesson that using that word was not being nice.

The moderator read the teleprompter again. “That’s good… because our next activity is… drawing!”

People appeared with pencils, paint, crayons and markers making Rumi wake up and jump, hiding her face on Mira’s chest. They also picked the blocks in a way that clearly upset most of the Littles on the table, their creations dropped in some big bags like nothing. Thankfully, most of them only pouted. 

Mira was suddenly confronted with the reality that most of these people clearly haven’t dealt with Littles or children before, because it was like they were inciting a meltdown or tantrum from them. Zoey frowned at them, full on offended.

Different papers were distributed to everyone, Bean putting a pink one in front of Nari- Mira already had a favorite -before choosing a white watercolor paper for himself. Zoey grabbed some granulated one for her and Rumi. Chul picked the paper closer to him and grabbed one pencil set and hid it in his lap.

“Okay, guys! Pick a paper out of this hat to see what you get to draw!” 

The others picked a paper, Mira picked out that Nari picked up something boyish and boring for her but Bean changed their papers under the table and with Nari’s excited gasp it was pretty clear that option was more on her alley. Rumi picked ‘ocean’ and Zoey ‘space’, Mira read them out loud for both of them.

Zoey scooched closer to Rumi. “Do you want to change, Ruru?” she whispered.

Rumi settled in a more comfortable drawing position and nodded, giving her paper to Zoey, while their maknae did the same.

The moderator winced. “You guys are not supposed to-”

All the members of HUNTR/X glared at the same time, making the moderator close her mouth with a click.

And Mira had to admit that all that went wrong next was because she relaxed.

Both of her Littles were happily drawing, on their own world, while the others on the table took the hosting job.

And then Chul interrupted, pointing his annoying finger to Zoey. “Hey! I got animals! You can’t draw turtles!”

“Shut up, Chul! No one here likes you!” Zoey, their rapper and lyricist, shot like the American she was. 

Mira, even when she wanted to laugh, grabbed Zoey’s shoulder in warning. “Zoey, c’mon”.

Chul’s face went red, but he only tightened his fist around the pencil he was using to draw a lion and took Zoey’s kind advice.

And Rumi was drawing… some circles with crayons- the most beautiful circles Mira had seen, to be fair -while Zoey drew a beach and ocean with a turtle’s circle of life with pencils. Rumi looked at Zoey’s paper and made a happy noise that meant that she wanted to see. Zoey smiled and put her drawing over Rumi’s explaining what she was drawing- closer to Chul -making Rumi giggle.

And when Mira leaned to pick a crayon that fell under the table, hell broke loose. Mira saw what happened much later though.

Chul, full of anger, picked a black crayon and defaced Zoey’s drawing. The one who reacted first was Rumi… who bit his hand. Mira tried to lift herself at the sound but hit the table with her head. Enough time for Chul to smack Rumi’s head with his fist. And just when Mira was sitting upright… Zoey tackled Chul over the table to throw him into a grapple.

Chul didn’t have a chance to escape from Zoey’s favorite move. Mira hoped Rumi just cried, but her feral Little jumped on the pile to bite the brat’s arm.

Then there was screaming coming from everywhere.

“We are going on break!”

God… Mira hoped HUNTR/X wasn’t vetoed from future events from all that shitshow.

…Bobby will have an aneurysm, for sure. 

17.

“Chat, how could you betray me like this? You’re supposed to tell me that I can do whatever I put my mind into! Even winning in the next minute, me alone against three, with only a knife!”

Zoey was looking behind her, in front of her and up, but in the last ten seconds she was bombarded by the other team and killed without hurting anyone.

“Fuck you! That wasn’t fair! My team was shit!” Zoey screamed.

Zoey watched away from the screen when someone opened the door. 

“Oh… we have a surprise guest, everyone,” Zoey whispered as if it was a secret. “Behave yourselves, a sleepy baby bear is coming”.

“Zozo,” Rumi whispered, rubbing her eye with a sleepy fist, pacifier in mouth. “...loud”.

Zoey cooed and took off her headphones. “Sorry, Ruru. I was being a bit loud. Where did you leave Mimi, huh?”

“... snowing,” Rumi answered, walking to Zoey.

She snickered. “Don’t tell Mimi that”.

“Zozo? Whatcha doin’?” Rumi finally looked at the screen and Zoey quickly changed the bloody scene to her pc’s background. “Tutles…”

Rumi was on the camera view and the chat went crazy over seeing her in her teddy onesie pajamas, hugging Kimchi.

“I’m just playing, baby. Wanna join?”

The Little nodded, clearly wanting some company. Zoey knew she would be asleep in thirty minutes tops, so they could play for a bit until then. Mira wasn’t there to say otherwise.

“Hey chat, we’re going to change to a cosy game, because we have some special company… Want to say hi, Ruru?”

Rumi waved while Zoey put her on her lap and leaned her chin against Rumi’s shoulder.

“The net game, Zozo?” Rumi said, to then wiggle until she was comfortable.

“Animal Crossing? I clearly have a girl of exquisite taste in here”.

Rumi giggled at her words, nuzzling her cheek against Zoey’s.

“Go to Maple, p’ease,” she asked, while touching the screen.

Zoey smiled. “Yes, chat. She’s Rumi’s favorite,” the Little whispered something to Zoey. “After Kimchi, of course”.

“Hi, Maple,” Rumi waved at the cub on the screen. 

Zoey hid her face on Rumi’s shoulder to not squeal. 

“Do we go to the trees now?”

Rumi shook her head. “Close,” she mumbled.

“Do you want to change her clothes? We can do that for sure”.

Zoey opened the pocket menu and moved through the options until Rumi pointed at the camel anorak jacket.

“Of course…” Zoey chuckled to herself. “Now some pants?”

Rumi nodded and sighed as a puppy after a hard day of playing. With each rejected option, Rumi made more dissatisfied noises, yet Zoey had a feeling on what the Little was looking for.

“There’s no bear pants nor train pants, baby. I’m sorry,” Zoey said.

Rumi whimpered and she knew that a sleepy baby meant a fussy baby, so the maknae had to think fast.

“But! We can have a bear… backpack! Isn’t it cute?” 

Rumi gave out an excited gasp, agreeing.

“I’ll pick up some sweatpants for you… and how about some house slippers, so we are comfy?” she asked, Rumi nodded and started to fidget with her pacifier clip. “What color, superstar?”

The Little pointed to the blue one. “Such a good choice!”

“Now some hats… let me look for something I know you’ll like-” Zoey pressed some buttons and then-

“Beaw hat!” Rumi said, touching the screen.

“Bear hat!” Zoey repeated. “And now we’re ready for the net game! Let’s catch some bugs!”

Zoey pulled out the bug net and went to a cluster of yellow tulips, to recognize some shadow. “What do we have here?”

Rumi whispered into Zoey’s ear. “Butte-fly…”

“You’re so right, Ruru!” she said with a giggle. “Do you think we can catch it?”

Zoey’s character walked slow to it and she let go of the button to-

Miss it.

“Dang it! Sorry, baby,” Zoey said, while rubbing the girl’s tummy.

“Is okay, Zozo,” Rumi, clumsily and so sleepily, patted Zoey’s hand.

Zoey adjusted Rumi so she rested perpendicular to her and her head could rest on Zoey’s collarbone. 

“Let’s try again, then,” Zoey whispered.

They went around trying to catch bugs, sometimes succeeding, most of the time missing, but at a certain point Rumi stopped reacting. Zoey watched the stream to find her fast sleep.

Zoey adjusted the light in the room so it wasn’t so bright and continued to play, waiting for a certain mama bear to make her appearance when she found out her cub was missing. 

And surely enough, twenty minutes later, Mira appeared in her room, disheveled and straining her eyes without her glasses.

Zoey smirked. “Look at this sleeping beauty… missing something?”

Mira, still half-asleep, glared in exhaustion and blindness. “Give me back my baby”.

Zoey arched one eyebrow. “I didn’t steal her. A certain baby bear escaped from her den when her mama was distracted snoring away”.

Mira grumbled and rubbed at her eyes. “Come on, both of you to bed. Let’s go to sleep”.

Zoey giggled. “You heard the boss, chat. I’m going to bed and you guys better go too! Peace out!”

She ended the stream right after that to later stretch her back, making the cracking sounds the girls hated. Mira winced and picked up the cub, making her nose rest on her neck, Rumi’s favorite place to be.

Mira started to leave when she turned around and offered her free hand to Zoey. “You coming or what?”

Zoey beamed. “I’m going, I’m going”.

18.

“Remember what we talked about, Ruru?”

“Umm, nu-huh”.

“Are you sure? Or you’re too busy watching the cows to answer?”

“Moos, Mimi”.

“You’re adorably unfair, princess,” Mira laughed. “Can we put our listening ears on?”

She looked to the rearview of the car to see Rumi’s confused face. The Little looked at her hands and then put them over her ears with a frown.

“Not quite what I meant, but alright,” Mira said with a smile. “What do you have to do if Celine makes you cry?”

“Eomma,” Rumi corrected while she played with the buttons on her overall. “Hug eomma?”

Mira tilted her head. “I mean- okay, sure. But what did I tell you?”

Rumi nibbled on the teat of her pacifier. “Call you?”

“Exactly! Then I can come pick you up and kick Celine’s butt”.

Rumi whined and kicked her legs. “Noooo. Be nice to eomma, Mimi!”

Mira rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright. You’re such a mama’s girl, Ruru”.

Rumi wiggled in her seat until she found a comfortable position. “My eomma,” she said, dreamily.

“And remember, when you come back, there’ll be a surprise for you,” Mira sing-songed.

“My toys… my choo-choos,” Rumi wiggled in excitement.

Mira smiled. “Your trains. That’s right, princess”.

They arrived at Celine's hanok with not much fanfare. Mira was extremely surprised the baby hadn’t fallen asleep on the drive, so she unclicked her belt and took her out before she could get sleepy. Just as Mira was taking Rumi’s bag from the back of the car, Celine got out to welcome them.

Celine looked healthier, more rested and most important of all, happy. Her shoulders didn’t slump and her smile was genuinely glad to see them.

Rumi squealed and ran to her arms, to be picked up by the woman who raised her.

“Eomma, miss you, love you,” Rumi said, clearly enough for Mira to hear while getting closer.

Celine kissed her cheek loudly, making Rumi giggle. “I missed you too and I love you so much, baby”.

Mira passed her the diaper bag. “There she has her bear pajamas, two outfits, diapers and pull-ups, but she had used the diapers at night only, you have to check her because sometimes she doesn't tell me when she used them. Also her bottle and the milk she likes, some teething toys so she doesn't put things in her mouth that she shouldn't, her crayons, two sets of pacifiers because she loves to lose them and… a teddy,” Mira listed while staring into Celine's soul. “Don't let her lose the teddy”.

Rumi showed them the bear with a big smile. “Kimchi!”

Both of them smiled. “Yes, Kimchi”.

“Behave,” Mira said to Celine. 

The woman nodded and Rumi rolled her eyes. “I knoooow, Mimi”.

“Is Zoey alone in the penthouse?” Celine asked.

Mira shook her head. “She was meeting with her mom, but we’ll all go to the new playground when Rumi comes back,” she explained and gave the little half-demon a hug and a kiss. “Have fun with your eomma, baby,” she whispered in her ear.

Rumi's eyes welled up immediately. “You’re leaving?”

Mira brushed with her thumb one runaway tear. “I have to meet with my annoying brother”.

Rumi's mouth made a perfect ‘o’ to then nod seriously. “Be nice…”

Mira rolled her eyes and gave her a shower of kisses. “I know, Ruru. I’ll be nice, promise”.

Rumi ran to Celine again and started to wave, to then make Kimchi wave.

Mira laughed and waved back, to watch Celine mouth ‘be safe’. She nodded and gave her a shy wave back.

She quickly got in the car to then drive off, refusing to watch as their bodies got smaller and smaller in the rearview or she would end up crying.

Min-ho decided to call her just after she started to drive to the airport. Which meant he was panicking. She activated the hands-free option and answered.

“Yes? What happened now?” Mira said.

Min-ho’s voice could barely be heard over the wailing in the background. “I can't find Hanae’s bunny!”

“Minty!” A girl's voice answered, with a betrayed intonation.

Mira rolled her eyes. “Caregiving 101, learn your Little's stuffies’ names”.

Min-ho made a growl that meant he wanted to curse at her. “I don't know what to do, we have looked everywhere!”.

Mira bit a smile even when her brother wasn't watching. “I don't know either, I’m not there yet”.

“You're so much help, Mira. Maybe I can buy her another one?”

Mira winced ahead of time, knowing what would come next.

“WE CAN'T REPLACE MINTY!”

“Sorry, Hanae, of course not… but maybe we could find a brother-”

Mira interrupted. “Stop digging a deeper hole! You had already looked into the obvious places. Now… look into the bathtub, the kitchen’s cupboards, those little places where you lose coins-”

She heard movement and a gasp from Min-ho. “He was in the snack cupboard! I wonder how he got in there…”

She smirked, she could guess. “Now put me on speaker,” Mira ordered.

Min-ho whispered. “Be nice to her, Mira”.

She smiled at the protectiveness. “Hanae, sweetie. Could you keep your appa calm until I get there?”

Hanae sniffled harshly and shyly answered. “Yeah, I can…”

“Thank you. I'm bringing you a new outfit for Minty too. You said he was missing a dress?”

Hanae gasped in excitement. “Yes! Thank you, unnie”.

Mira chuckled. “Now pass the phone to Min-ho, okay?”

Min-ho answered. “How?”

Mira laughed. “It's hard to be good at everything”.

“I forgot how much of a brat you were”.

“Having memory problems at your age? Embarrassing…”

“... you…” Min-ho mumbled.

“I can't hear you,” she sing-songed.

“Thank you!” He shouted, embarrassed. “Drive safely, alright?”

“Promise,” Mira said.

“...snot-licker,” he muttered and hung up.

She was deeply offended by the old moniker. “What an asshole…” she muttered to herself.

Families were so fucking weird. 

Mira was thankful that, at least, she was happy with the one she got.