Chapter Text
The recent summer solstice fills the train roomettes with heavy humidity. The windows move in foggy cycles, growing damp and blurry, then suddenly melting the water away under the hand of a strong wind. Will Byers watches the drops roll down slowly. In his lap lies his copy of Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector. It's pages sit open-faced, wanting his attention back. Cheap headphones carry music into his ears. He's alone, all by himself. His friends are crowded together in the roomette across from his. Through the window in the door, he can see El's curly head higher than Mike's. She must be sitting on his lap. He pulls his headphones off to see if he can listen in on their conversation. Max is laughing loudly, it's a sweet sound that makes Will's heart warm with admiration and friendship. Someone's feet are stamping the floor in rhythms. The drumming sensation is nearly strong enough to be felt over the train rolling. Two strangers walk down the middle aisle right as Max stands up and slides open the door. Will can see her ginger hair shining like the sun. "Sorry," She apologizes to the strangers, holding back so that they can pass by.
She comes up to Will's door and makes a face, cheeks decorated with starry freckles. Her lips pull into a smile. "Hey," Max says as she comes into Will's room. He pulls his headphones off from around his neck and sits them in his lap alongside Lispector. "I don't like seeing you all alone," She flops down onto the seat in front of him. More condensation moves in ripples across the windows. They both stop and observe. Max clears her throat, "Everything okay?" She asks. Back at home, and for the last few weeks, she's been worrying incessantly about Will. He's just not been the same. It took her a couple days for her to put the pieces together. Once she could see the full puzzle in beautiful completion, she could see what's really been eating away at him. Mike and El had gone through a painful, abrupt break-up over spring break. Neither of them had given any of the group information on the reasoning for it. Max had to spend two nights consoling El over the phone. Mike hadn't reached out to Will for anything, at all. It hurt, knowing that even through tragedy and strife, Mike still holds something against Will for what happened last winter. Now just in time for summer, Mike and El are back together. Lucky Will. “I'm just...tired. I didn't sleep much last night, I don't really know why," He speaks, voice shy and slightly unwilling. Max narrows her eyes at him, her posture sinking into the back of the seat. "Aren't you excited we're doing this? We've never gotten out in the world like this, as a group," She referrences the reason they're on this train hurdling from Indianapolis to New York. It was a group decision to all apply at Camp Fern. Well, it was originally Will's idea before he let it slip and suddenly all of his friends wanted to experience and spend the summer within the green forests of upstate New York. He's not necessarily bummed that he's not doing this alone as he had planned to. He wants to be alone but getting a job here isn't his finalized plan for finding solitude. It's just a step in the journey, and one he's going to have to push through until he can get to the deep, forever alone he dreams of. "Yeah, I'm excited" He keeps his reply short. He's not trying to be cold, he just can't help that his mind is buried under a thick sheet of ice and snow. He was hoping the summer sun would melt it, and he could look into the sky once more.
"Are you upset over Mike and El?" Max asks, switching her position so that she can look directly at Will. He has never been good at making eye contact. He swallows hard knowing that she's got him figured out. She's not dumb but she doesn't have to be a genius to know this. She's been friends with this boy for years, and she can see every detail of him as if looking through a microcope. "More upset over Mike than El, but yeah" He doesn't meet her gaze. Don't see more of me please, he thinks quietly. Max reaches out and places a cold hand over his knobby knee. "I'll fight him if I have to, I swear!" She laughs, sweetness flowing. Will scoffs trying to hold back his own laughter. There's an ounce of satisfaction coursing through him hearing this. "Could we do it together?" He finally looks at her. She grins widely. "There's my boy! Yes, we can do it together" She feels relieved. The both of them had become an unlikely duo over the last year. Both having dysfunctional families and trauma, they found solace within each other. Max's older brother, Billy, passed away over Christmas break from an overdose. It was tragic and cooled her blood, ice crystals forming inside of her. She didn't know what to feel. Lucas had given her his all trying to offer her his empathy but fell short on the relatibility portion. The only person Max could think of that might understand was Will. She called him, asking if she could come over. Joyce never had a problem with Will's friends coming over. They're her kids too. Will and Max sat on his twin-sized bed and talked for hours. They evenutally ended up lying on the floor side by side, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers that had been up there since childhood. They connected deeper than they'd expected, and it felt really great. They both slept on the floor together that night, dreaming separate yet similarly warm dreams.
<***>
The conductor announces they'll arrive in New York in the early morning. Each seat in the roomettes can be pulled out into small beds. Most rooms have fallen completely dark, empty or carrying sleeping passengers. Will creeps down the aisle, heading back to his own bunk after using the restroom. It's dim but the small lights hanging on each wall provide gentle light. He could barely eat today, not just because the food on here wasn't the best but because of...Mike. He hates admitting it to even himself. Right now, he feels half-loathing over Mike. His shoes trudge the rubber lined floor, and he slows down as he nears Mike and El's room. The light is still on. Will approaches and stops momentarily before realizing this might cause some kind of emotional reaction inside of him. Mike is sitting beside El, smiling and watching as she pulls the elastic out from her hair. Her hair falls to her shoulders. Will can feel a pit form in his stomach and as if sensing it, Mike looks up and connects his eyes with Will's through the window pane in the door. They both linger for a second before Will inhales sharply and speed-walks back towards his own room. He forces the door open and lets it close a little too loudly behind him. Shit. That felt horrible. He thinks about how Mike and El are going to join each other in sleep and breathe together throughout the night, and how he's alone. He wants alone but not like this. Not when it feels like it's not his choice to have chosen solitude. Solitude has been forced down his throat, into his airways and heart. He can't be alone if there's not a promise of Mike wanting to rewrite the definition of alone. Alone could mean two hearts and souls together. Not Will Byers lying in his dark room, flat on his back with the train vibrating through his body. This isn't right.
Will pulls his seat out. It unfolds into a cot. There's really no point in changing into pajamas when he'll have to be awake and ready to get off before he knows it. He flicks off the light and pulls a blanket from the overhead shelf. He sits down, clutching the fabric to his chest. His eyes stare hard at the wooden door in front of him. Thoughts start blooming and then disappear fast inside his head. Is this a mistake? Is he going to drown inside of himself this summer? July and August could be spent in a silent plea; Will wants to plead Mike to accept him back into his main life. He doesn't want to be put on the sidelines anymore. It even feels like Mike has taken him and shoved him into the back of his closet, hidden and dark. Will breathes hard, not noticing until it's extremely loud. Panic soars through him, crushing his bones under the sharp, stabbing waves of adrenaline. He holds the blanket even harder as if it could absorb some of this from him. He's trapped inside this moving train. He wishes he could step outside and pause. "Oh god" He exhales as the electricity surges stronger. His limbs buzz as he stands him and slides the door open again. His hands scan the walls, feeling his way through. The lights are still on but panic blinds him. He needs to rely on what he can feel by touch. Touch. Mike. Him. His feet carry him to the end of the hall.
"Max? Lucas?" He sounds frightened as he knocks on their door with his knuckles. It's quiet for a second before the light inside turns back on. Lucas is buried underneath his blanket, feet sticking out from the bottom of it. Max is in her pajamas; a band tee and soft shorts. Her hair is in two braids. She pulls open the door. "What's wrong?" She asks. Concern crowds her face, eyebrows knitting together with sympathy. It's easy to see how Will's visibly trembling. This is all the evidence she needs before she grabs his hand and yanks him inside. The three of them look at each other. Lucas looks as if he'd already been starting to fall asleep before Will knocked. He sits up and motions for Will to sit beside him. Max has stuffed pillows in between their fold-out beds to fill the gap and make it seem bigger. "I don't know what's wrong. I just feel scared, I guess" Will explains, sitting with them. Max's knees are placed under her chin. She nods slowly. "It's okay to feel scared," Lucas tries to offer his own sympathy. "Maybe you're already homesick" He says. Homesick? Yes. But not for Indiana, for Mike.
“It kills me that I have to spend the entire summer watching him avoid me," He speaks indirectly about Mike. Max and Lucas already know that's who was the perpetrator of Will's suffering. They just don't want to bring it up unless Will did first. "Do you want me to talk to him?" Lucas asks. The train car rumbles, hitting a slightly rough patch in the tracks. "No, no. I just—I just want him to wake up and see me, y'know? See that I'm still here and that I’m waiting, that I’ve been waiting” Will sits with both hands pressed onto the beds. He holds himself up so that he doesn't slip further into misery. Max recreates what she did earlier, placing a hand on his knee. "You're right though, It's the entire summer, you two have weeks to see where things go. I hate seeing you sad, Will" She pouts. It's true. They have all summer to fall back into each other. But El's here and although that never stopped Mike and Will before, the events of last winter make it seem impossible now.
Lucas can detect that Will doesn't know what to say next. They've been best friends forever and have bonded to the point of near telepathy. He scooches closer to the wall and pulls back the blanket. "You wanna stay with us?" He offers Will to sleep in-between them, held between comfort and friendship. Will nods and crawls, settling in the middle. "Can we keep the light on?" He asks wearily. Max giggles as she lies beside him. "Yes, we can do that" She shares some of her blanket with Will too. It's small and the room is tightly cramped now but they can make it work. Sandwiched in between his two best friends, panic dissipating and warmth sparking in its place, Will closes his eyes. Max watches him for awhile, making sure he completely calms down. Lucas on the other hand, snores loudly. It's endearing though, no one minds. The train rolls through plains and mountains in Virginia. Summer hangs in the distance, with fangs that threaten to sink into Will's neck. As he falls asleep, he wonders if becoming bitten would stall him and keep him stuck and the same forever. He also wonders if it could help him transform into something else. Maybe something stronger, truer and lovelier, whether he's with Mike Wheeler or not. As the night progresses, Max, Will and Lucas rest together. They careen through sleep and into new places. They're held tight, covered in softness and sleepy sweet.