Chapter Text
Morning comes before she knows it, the sunrise finds her in tangled in the sheets. There was no dreaming that night, her grief had been too heavy for it. Her head is pounding from where she is resting it on the pillow still. The sort of headache that comes from crying too hard for too long. It still hurts the knowledge he left her. But she's had time alone and knows they wouldn't have made it if she had been there. She would have slowed him down, nothing more. In her head Pandora had tried to play out what they two of them running would look like. Steal a car maybe ? Through the woods on foot back to Alexandria? No weapons, no food nothing. They wouldn’t have made it.
Her logic doesn't mean it hurts less, it hurts the same. She had never thought about escaping, never tried. Daryl must have been planning for a while to make it out. Negan would find her if she ran, he would burn the rest of the world down somehow she knew that.
It's an effort the pull herself from bed this time, and for a few long seconds she lays there eyes still shut tight against the light. All her muscles ache from hours spent in the same position. There is a second where she thinks she should stay in bed waste away like before. Or go to the box and waste away there dip into madness and let that be the end.
She won't though. She will get up like she does every day and keep going. Because it all she has , moving forward . She fought when she wolves took her, fought them every day and lived. She will fight now too, a different kind, but she would live. Negan could still hurt her, her people, he could still hurt Eugene. So she would keep going because nothing has changed, or she likes to tell herself that.
Sunlight streams into the windows covering her room in bright warm light. She blinks letting her eyes adjust to it. Shifting a sigh she sits up, throwing the covers off and heading for the bathroom. The shower she takes is quick, the water turned up as hot as it goes. She takes under ten minutes to be out hair washed and conditioned. She dresses in layers again jeans, a tank top, shirt and sweater. The sleeves are long and she likes it they hide the marks on her wrists.
An image of Negan's wives flashes in her head, all the well-dressed and fresh women filling their days with leisure. She wonders if dressing like them will give her even more points with him. When she holds a skirt to her legs, and the idea is gone like smoke, picturing herself hardly covered. Than she puts it back and shutting the doors, content with what she has already put on.
There are dishes clean and dry in the drying rack next to the sink, she doesn't remember putting them there. With a sigh she puts them away before heading to the fridge. The bake is still there, and she wants that, wants something warm and steaming. She puts a good sized serving on her plate, not reallying knowing how long it had been since she ate anything. When it's done, she takes it with one of the chocolate shakes to the chairs in front of the window.
The parking lot belong is a hive of activity. In the bright morning sun men move around, loading cars and checking guns.
‘It’s a search party.’ She thinks to herself. They are all going out to see if they can catch Daryl and bring him back. If they found him Negan would make her watch whatever he would do to Daryl, she was sure. They wouldn't find him though, he was better than that, Daryl wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
When she finishes, the plate, she drinks the shake. It makes her feel bloated and heavy. Pandora puts the cap back on wrinkling her face in disgust at the chalky aftertaste. It reminds her of the smoothes Denise and Daryl forced her to drink after they came back from the burnt forest. The sharp metal tang in the back of her throat was almost the same.
She thinks about them now and it's not as bad. Denise must be happier now wherever she is, she wouldn't want to see this, anyway. Daryl is happier that she knows for sure. He’s gone with his family again, he must be happy .
In the kitchen Pandora cleans the dishes she had been using, careful not to use too much water. Hands covered in soap there is the sound of her door. Pandora goes stiff for a second, because she knows Negan is standing there, he never knocks. There is a few seconds of heavy silence between them, and she knows he is examining her.
“Princess have to tell you it's good to see you up and adam this morning.” Negan steps into the room.
Her gave flickers up form the dishes to meet his, he grins at her. Behind her she watches two of his men step into the room. That has her heart hammering in her chest panic playing on her face. She’s not sure why she does that, she has had few things to fear for his men. Her fear isn't always logical. Negan see’s it laying a heavy hand on her upper arm.
“Boys no need for you to follow me in here, the Princess and I are just fine.”
They are fine because she would never hurt Negan. She learned, she knows how things work here. Hurting him is hurting herself, she is Negan.
The men only nod and turn back out of the door.
“Thank you.” Her breath comes out as a relieved sigh, she means her thank you.
“No problem Princess,” He moves his hand from her arm crossing his arms over his chest resuming the relaxed posture. “Your looking good this morning Princess, I was worried when I left you last night.”
Pandora shakes her head as the conversation from last night threatens to overtake the present. She can’t think about that now, can't think about Daryl leaving. She has to move past it put it out of her head like she tried to do with everything else.
“You know my men won't hurt you right Princess?” Negan is staring at her then and his eyes are so soft her brain trips over herself. “Not like before, that doesn't happen here.”
“ I don't…” the words are choked off because one is never really sure of what men will do. “I don't.”
A hand on her arm pressure enough to make her leave the plate she was holding in the sink. It clatters against the stainless steel.
“Pandora, look at me.”
There is a moment where she is almost sure she will black out , but she doesn't. Instead she drags her eyes up to him. His face is different years melted away and replaced by softness. He reaches for her, a finger brushing lightly under her chin.
“No one here will hurt you like that.” Negan whispers it to her leaning back just a fraction “I don’t stand for that shit no way. I keep you safe.”
He keeps her safe, he saved her from the box. After when it was over she remembers that, remembers her coming to save her from darkness. He saved her the other day when the men tried to stop her, he saved her from Michael.
“You do.” The answer is easy now, because it true.
“How would you like to spend the day with me?”
“Ok.” She whispered. She knew that was the right answer, just knew there was no other answer.
Part of her wondered what a day with him would entail. Following him around? Would he go looking for Daryl and take her with him? That was something she could picture him doing that, dragging her along while he hunter for him.
“Well come on then we’ve got a meeting this morning.” Negan steps away from the counter and offers her his arm to take.
She does it because he told her to. It’s easy again just to do what he wanted, she doesn't even have to think about it.
When the leave the room the men that had come in with her are outside her door waiting. They say nothing just fall into step behind them. They walked down the stairs going a level or two lower than her room. She walks with him down the hall until he turns to the right and enters a meeting room.
The room is long and windowless, walls around the long table were bare. At the end of the table Dwight sits, waiting. He gets up when they enter shoots a glare at her before getting down on his knee.
“Get up Dwight and don't think I didn't see the look you gave my Princess.” Negan leads her to the head of the table, he pulls out a chair to the right Pandora lowers herself into it. He takes the seat Dwight was in.
Leaning back Nagen folds his arms over his chest, “What. Happened.” He asks.
Dwight it sitting to Negan's left now hands in a tight fist in front of him. “She’s staying.”
“Fuck yes she is.” Negan doesn't ask again he only raises his eyebrow, waiting. Dwight looks at her again, then back his folded hands at the table. She guessed he saw whatever answer he was looking for in her eyes, not that she knew the answer. Pandora couldn't think of why Negan would want her in this meeting.
Dwight launches into a story about how he found Sherry. How she told him what really happened between her and Doctor. Pandora goes stiff as she listens, Dwight tells Negan how scared Sherry was of the Doctor, and she just knew she had to run. Dwight says he tried to stop her to tell her to come back and sort it out. Sherry didn’t listen and runs right into some dead ones and was gone .
Pandora sits shocked into silence. She had just seen Sherry yesterday, the women had brought her food and stocked her fridge. They had talked about the people that they were trying to protect.
‘She was saying goodbye.’ Pandora thought to herself she was making sure Pandora was taken care of before she left.
There is silence now in the room, no one makes a sound. Negan sighs pinching the bridge of his nose.
“She was one of my favourites.” Standing Negan holds out his hand to her. “Come one Princess we have a Doctor to talk to.”
Negan leads her down to the main floor. It's hot down here stifling even, she can hear what sounds like a fire, the crackle and hiss of wood. Glancing up she spots the huge furness, metal radiating heat down on the onlookers.
Negan's people were all gathered around it, in front stood his wives hands clasped in front of their black clad frames. Behind them his man and workers all standing still and somber.
“Stand right here with my wives Princess.” Negan moved her hair from her shoulder tucking it behind her ear before moving on.
Her stomach twists inside her, she knows this will not go well. Her skin prickles nerves on edge. Everything around her is still, like they are collectively holding their breath.
“You are going to want to pay close attention to this.” Negan is grinning, Lucille pointing at Eugene.
Pandora follows the line of the bat Eugene stands on a stairwell next to a bored looking blond women. Just then Negan swings Lucille catching the Doctor in the right arm, the force sends him stumbling. Pandora steps backwards hand flying to her mouth. She's in the line up again, listening to Negan beat Abraham and Glenn.
“ You have to watch .” Tanya hisses in her ear, fingers wrapped around her arm tightly .
The Doctor is begging now pledging, telling Negan he did nothing.
Negan pulls a paper from his pocket, “I found this little souvenir tucked away in your desk. “
Pandora can’t see it but she assumes it has something to do with Sherry. She remembers the story Dwight told them this morning, about how the Doctor let Daryl go.
“I-I-I don’t know what that is.” The doctor stammers.
Negan swings the bat again, hitting the Doctor in the side this time. He grunts douldes over and coughs. Negan sighs walking away, he comes back into her field of vision a pair of heavy black gloves in his hands.
“You left the door open and let my puppy out.” Negan booms leaning back. He catches Pandora’s gaze and for a second she can’t breathe. He looks away then back to the Doctor. “You knew Sherry hated Daryl being here, so you let him out for her, to be the hero. So you could move in. That is some weaselly fucking shit right there.”
“But I didn't, she’s the one who ran!”
“She ran?! You know why she ran? Because she knew I would blame her, which I did” He sighs shaking his head. “But, see, Sherry told Dwight boy the whole story. Right before she was torn apart . A super hot girl horrifically killed because of your greedy delusional and tiny little prick.”
“That’s not true. He’s lying about it. I would never do that.”
“Why? Why would he do that?” Negan looks around, this time Pandora bows her head in time, watching the floor. “Why would Dwight intentional try to hurt you? Sherry’s gone. And if he’s lying, and she’s out there, I will find her. And then I will burn the other side of his face off until he dies. So what is he going to get out of this?”
There is a moment of silence, Tanya tightened her grip on Pandora’s arm to make sure she is still watching. She is though eyes fixed in horror to the bright flame burning in the furness . She knows, she knows this will not end well, Negan does not do mercy.
“No. See I know my Dwight boy. See all he needed was another night in the box, get his head screwed on straight.” Negan glances backwards eyes scanning the crowd when he stops on her she knows he had found what he was looking for. “Works kind of the same for everyone I think .”
He is talking about her, and her skin crawls. Fighting to keep her calm on the outside. There is a cold feeling in her gut, she wants to leave now. Thinks that whatever will happen here won't be good and she doesn't want to be a part of it. Pandora misses whatever is said next but catches Negan's mouth moving. She tried to pull her arm from Tanya hoping the other women has loosened her hold. She hasn’t and when Pandora tries to move Tanya hisses in her ear to stay still.
Pandora tries she does, but when Negan pulls out the hot iron her body screams at her to run. The Doctor is begging now, but the words are lost to her everything else seems too loud.
“You know I hate this shit. Just tell me you did it and that you’re sorry, and I don't have to do this.”
“YES! I did it all of it . Sorry. I'm so sorry.”
For a second everything stops. This Doctor let Daryl out, but he left her. He knows had seen her drugged up in medical, fixed her up after the box and he left her here. she isn't scared anymore, no she's furious. She could have been gone out of this place, running with Daryl. INstead she stays forever Negan's good little pet.
“That's all you had to say!” Negan says dropping the iron on the floor. It falls close to her heat still radiating off it it, she can feel it through her boots.
There is a second where she thinks maybe she is wrong maybe he knows mercy, but it gone when she looks in his eyes. He glances at her for a second and grins, her blood goes cold. When he breaks eye contact, she follows his gaze it sweeps up to Eugene standing with the blonde women.
Everything seems to calm, until the scene explodes before her. Negan turns and shoves the Doctor into the flames. The entire room is filled with the sounds of him screaming, no one else makes a sound. Something in her snaps at that, despite her rage she hears him screaming and thinks of her Mother screaming as the wolves descend on her, she thinks of the way Tabitha used to scream in the beginning when they were taken .
Tanya turns unable to face it and leaves moving through the crowd. Pandora whips her head around only catching them glismp of her moving through the bodies. Then Pandora is moving as well , running past people shoving those who don't move for her. Someone shouts tries to grab her, but she's too quick and too far gone now. She skates past them, all of them until she is at the back of the room.
There is a set of doors that say exit, she flies for it. Pushing it open only to find herself in almost utter darkness. Spinning she puts her hands out until they feel something. A railing she thinks , leaning down her fingers brush the cool stone of the first steps and then she's running again. Taking the steps two of three at a time, the screaming follows her though. Echoes in the dark hallway, covering the sound of even her own breathing.
Pandora can be sure how far she runs, but the second she hears a door under her open she is out into a hallway again. They next door she opens takes her outside, shocked she stops.
The ground is three stories below her at least, she is standing over the back entrance. On the other side of the fence is forest. The small platform she stands on metal bars covering the stairs meant to take you down. There is no where to go, expect back inside. She isn't ready for that yet.
Instead she curls herself into a ball against the back wall, knees drawn to her chest. Crying again she isn't even quite sure why anymore. The horrible way the Doctor died? The fact that he let Daryl free and not here? How much of herself she keeps losing every day she is here? Not that it matters, the tears keep coming.
“Ice cold-I love it.” Negan patts Dwight’s face before turning away intent on collecting the Princess. It been a good day he thinks , taught everyone a lesson. Dr Smartypants, his little Princess, they should get it now. He will always find out everything, better just do what you told.
Pandora knows that , or she is coming to terms with it. Hard to tell with how crazy she can be sometimes. He can’t help but like her though, she is beautiful. Even now all skinny and shit, she is a looker.
Three of his wives stand there still, Amber sobbing the usual, Frankie holding her. It kinda hot , but when his glances around he doesn 't see Tanya or Pandora.
“Where is the Princess?” It shocks the man standing in the front of the group into silence. “WHERE?” He thunders it then, and again silence. It should be common fucking knowledge now to watch her after Daryl they should just know .
“Negan!” Dave breaks through the crowd sweat dotting his forehead.
“Dave my man you better have my new pet!” Negan steps towards him already pulling the walkie from his pocket.
“No, sorry Negan I tried to chase her, but she’s fast.”
“FUCK!” Negan screams ripping the gloves off his leaves them on the floor. Most of the crowd is gone now, even his wives have left. Only some of his men remain there, waiting watching. Lifting the walkie to his lips he presses it. “My new pet is missing, find Princess Pandora! Do not fucking touch her, find her and call me!”
For a second no one moves and the rage Negan feels is almost enough to want to kill someone else.
“You heard the man! Find her!” The gets them moving skaters them like roaches in the light.
He goes too walking to the back of the room where he assumes she disappeared through the people.
He won't be mad at her, no no. Not after making her watch something like that, he should have kept a closer eye on her. She’s a tricky one his Princess, most of the time she knows the rules. Sometimes he pushes her too far, that's all. It’s his own fault.
“Not her fault at all.” He mutters to himself as he walks.