Chapter Text
Harry
He wakes startled to the sound of the door slamming shut and turns his head to find Louis staring at him, one brow raised in suspicion. He’s wearing a deep navy morning suit with matching waistcoat. His cravat is a rich red and appears to contain a glistening gold thread. His hair is perfectly coifed, the curls tamed into a wave.
He tucks his hands into his pockets and continues to stare at Harry, clearly assuming he can intimidate the larger omega into talking.
But Louis is no where near as patient as Harry and he cracks within minutes.
“In heat huh? How come I don’t smell anything in this room remotely like an omega in heat?” He demands.
Harry rolls his eyes and sits up, groaning slightly as his body aches.
“I told you, it’s not coming on normally…”
“What happened last night? Liam tells me you argued," he cuts Harry off, voice still stern.
Feeling indignant, Harry frowns at him, “I’ll tell you what happened, he felt it perfectly acceptable to get into bed with me, while I was sleeping.”
This bring Louis up short, both brows now up at his hair line, “What reason did he give for this behavior? Did he touch you at all?”
“According to him, when he carried me upstairs after you left, I fell asleep in his arms, and I think I do remember that, but apparently when he went to put me down on the bed, I wouldn’t let go and this was evidently a sign for him that he should just get under the covers with me.” Harry sighs angrily, remembering how it felt to wake up with his head on Liam’s chest, his strong arms wrapped around him, his ass leaking like a tap. “I don’t believe anything happened, when I woke up he was asleep and we were both dressed and I would have awoken immediately had he done anything to me. But it was still very unnerving.”
Louis’ eyes narrow, “Do you believe he’s telling the truth that you wouldn’t let go when he tried to put you down?”
Harry nods after a moment, Alice had given an account the same as Liam’s and she wouldn’t lie to him.
“Alice corroborated him in that much, actually, she admitted she had encouraged him to stay with me because she had mistakenly thought it would make me happy, she was wrong.”
Louis’ eyes narrow further, lips pursing slightly, “Did you have some sort of untoward reaction yourself courtesy of having him so close? You said it’s been happening, feeling things when he touches you or gets too close.”
Heat immediately starts creeping up Harry’s neck and he looks away from Louis, frustrated that Louis seemed to have already cottoned on to the entire crux of the issue.
“Mm hmm, I see," he declares, head tilting back as he regards Harry knowingly. "Was your reaction of a sexual nature Harry?”
Huffing angrily through his nose he reluctantly nods.
“Hmmmm,” Louis hums in thought, attempting to sound surprised but it’s clear he’s not. “So you are assuming that this reaction is down to you going into heat yes?”
Harry nods quickly, returning his gaze to Louis.
“Yes, of course, there is no other explanation,” he argues, not even sounding believable to himself.
Louis suddenly turns and walks to the door, opening it and loudly yelling Niall’s name.
Harry jumps in surprise and starts balking, “Louis! What are you doing? I don’t want him up here!”
Louis turns an exasperated expression on him, “Yes because you fear Liam following him. Relax, I think Liam is just as happy to avoid you today.” Louis’ eyes narrow again. “Did he say anything about you being all hot and bothered for him? Have any kind of reaction himself? Just out of curiosity of course.”
Harry sits up, annoyed at the line of questioning, “No! But I wasn’t looking was I, though I’m sure he smelled it on me.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
Harry doesn’t understand his meaning or what he’s trying to get at and doesn’t get a chance to ask before Niall comes flying in the door.
“What’s wrong, has something happened?” He asks quickly, eyes flying from Louis to Harry and back again.
Louis looks entirely unruffled, he just points at Harry, “Go take a good long sniff, tell me if you notice anything.”
Both Harry and Niall’s eyes widen at the instruction and Niall visibly starts to back towards the door.
“Louis, have you gone mad my love? What are you trying to do?”
Louis sighs loudly, “Just do it please, I promise it’ll be fine and I will explain after.”
Niall looks entirely dubious but after a few moments of hesitation, his clear blue eyes traveling to Harry and back to Louis several times, he finally moves slowly towards Harry. He walks over to the side of the bed Harry is on, green eyes watching him sharply, the omega already starting to lean away from him as he gets close.
Niall stops when he reaches Harry and looks back at his mate questioningly, “Louis?”
“Just smell him Niall," Louis demands, eyes shrewd as he watches.
Niall’s eyes meet Harry’s and he shrugs a moment later and leans in closer, sniffing close to Harry’s neck. Harry recoils slightly, leaning back as far as the headboard will let him. After several long moments of Niall taking deep whiffs, he finally stands up and looks at Louis, mouth turning down in confusion.
“He smells like he always does,” Niall says with surprise in his voice. “And not as good as you.” He adds after, clearly worried about offending his mate.
Louis rolls his eyes.
“Relax, I know you feel nothing for Harry other than friendship. You didn’t get any hints that he might be going into heat?”
Niall jolts at this suggestion, brows shooting up and he looks down at Harry who is still leaning away from him, eyeing him carefully.
“I… no… I don’t think so.” He leans back down again suddenly, getting even closer to Harry’s neck and he throws his shoulder up to stop Niall from getting any closer.
“Niall, stop it!” Harry protests.
Niall stands back up and shakes his head, “No, there’s no scent of heat there at all, he’s the same as always.”
Louis’ face turns smug as he stares Harry down.
“Harry, you’re an idiot.”
Harry sits back up, his cheeks starting to flame again in embarrassment and he frowns deeply at his friend.
“I am not! You even said it was a possible explanation for everything,” he declares hotly.
Niall looks confused, “Explanation for what?”
Louis cocks his head to the side, eyes still on Harry, full of amusement as he fills his mate in on everything.
“You were right, he’s been having reactions and feelings towards Liam, but he believed that the reason for that was that he was going into heat, and apparently has been for several weeks, despite not having any of the typical symptoms.” He shifts his comments to Harry. “I agreed with you until you detailed all of the things you have been feeling and none of them are ever related to heat.”
Harry huffs out in anger, “I told you it’s been many years since I have been in heat and I am not as familiar with them now. Besides, last night, I thought I was having the symptoms.”
Louis lowers his chin slightly, regarding Harry under his brows, “Yes, you got hot and bothered because Liam was close to you, hardly convincing evidence Harry when another explanation is much more likely. Besides, as this little test proves, if you were in fact going into heat, it would have affected Liam last night, a lot, and Niall would certainly be feeling it’s effects right now, but clearly he’s fine.”
“You’re an idiot Harry.” Niall chimes in.
Harry turns and glares at him, cheeks flaming red, “I am not!”
He really wishes that Niall were not hearing all of this, it was one thing to share intimate details with Louis, who was his close friend and also an omega, but having an alpha hear about it was mortifying, even if he knew Niall wasn’t thinking badly of him, besides calling him an idiot.
“There is still a chance I’m right you know!” He points out, though it is with some dejection now.
“You’re an idiot Harry,” they both say at the same time.
“Stop calling me that! Has it occurred to either one of you that you are biased in this discussion since you have been in favor of me mating with Liam since the moment I arrived?”
“I believed Liam when he told me how strongly he felt for you and what his theory was,” Niall says quietly. “I watched you two together, because I do look out for my friend’s interests and Harry you might want to reconsider your stance on this, really examine your feelings properly instead of pushing them and Liam away as an act of rebellion.”
Harry shakes his head slowly.
“Please do not belittle my personal beliefs because frankly, you have no idea what it’s like to be in my shoes or my position, do you?” He turns to Niall and glares at him coldly. “You’re a privileged alpha who has no idea what it’s like to be someones property, to be expected to put yourself in a corner in favor of considering the feelings of someone who is held in a higher regard than yourself just because of what he was born.”
“Harry that isn’t what this is about…” Niall begins.
“No! Niall, that is what this is about, it’s what it’s always been about for me, but everyone else was happy to just write my feelings off as silly or an act of rebellion because of some ridiculous belief that a supernatural force decided randomly to pair me off with Liam, against my will once again I might add.” He turns to Louis. “I thought you were my friend, I thought you understood how I felt, that you would support me and here you are pushing me into Liam’s arms as well.”
Both of them look at Harry with shame and sadness, and he doesn’t doubt that they never intended to hurt him, but they have and he wants to be alone now more than ever.
“You can go, Happy Christmas and all that,” he deadpans.
“Harry, please…” Louis starts, stepping towards the bed but Harry holds a hand up and stops him.
“Just go, I want to be alone.”
He hears Niall sigh softly beside him before he does as Harry asked and heads towards the door, tugging Louis along with him.
As soon as the door closes Harry lies back down on the bed, turning on his side facing the fireplace as much as his leg will allow. He feels the tightness in his throat at wanting to shed tears about his friend’s betrayal but he swallows it back.
He felt more alone now than he had when he had first arrived at Bolton Abbey.
He can hear the Christmas festivities going on downstairs, the front door opening and closing and many horses and cars moving about just outside down on the driveway.
Even if he had other reasons keeping him awake, all of the clatter would have been enough.
His mind runs in circles as he lies there, but things do become more clear as time goes on.
First, he is in love with Liam, there was no point in denying that fact anymore, at least not to himself. In fact, coming to this particular conclusion is actually a relief.
Second, it changes nothing. He still belonged to no one and never would, not until he could be more sure of equality in the relationship. His mother’s biggest conviction was that he would never be someone’s plaything, a warm body to be used for pleasure and breeding without consideration for the conscience it contained. He could admit easily that he did not believe Liam saw him this way and perhaps never had, but even if he could say truthfully that Liam is a good man, that he loves Harry very much and wants to give him a happy life as his partner, it would never be equal. Also, it was a lot of commitment to consider and the thought of that made him feel slightly itchy.
Third, and this was related to the commitment issue, he still wasn’t convinced about the true mates thing. Yes, he loved Liam. Yes, Liam undoubtedly loved him, it wasn’t even a question on either side, but that did not mean they were meant to be. Their affection and attraction could easily be explained away by sheer proximity, experiences in the past few months and a general sharing of interests and hobbies. This by no means guaranteed permanence and if down the road they were to find themselves separated, it would be Harry who would suffer the most. This is the biggest danger in committing himself to Liam and the best example of the inequality between them. If Liam were ever to decide he no longer wanted Harry as his mate, even if the decision were mutual, it would be Harry who would find himself homeless, or sent off to a very dangerous future where there was the actual potential for death. Meanwhile, Liam would just head back to the sales and pick a new omega, like he was selecting a piece of furniture or a new suit.
Nonetheless, he probably should apologize to Louis. Though it still disturbed him that his friend didn’t seem to understand his feelings on the subject of alphas and omegas as much as he originally believed. But they had grown up differently and faced different futures. For Louis, the system had provided him protection and comfort in the form of Niall. He had suffered prior to that, and he had shared Harry’s disgust about the whole buying and selling process but he seemed to believe the outcome was enough to outweigh any of the negative aspects, despite the recent upheaval in his relationship with Niall.
Harry didn’t believe that. Obviously he had made out well with Liam choosing him and bringing him to Bolton, but to him, that didn’t remove the stain of the past and what he had had to endure before he arrived. Nor did it offer the conclusion that Liam was his reward for suffering. He could have just as easily ended up elsewhere with some horrid alpha or in the whorehouses in London. Was he grateful that things had ended up this way? Yes, for the most part. There had still been challenges, a large one named Simon, but that didn’t mean he believed it was fate or cosmic interference. It was sheer chance and luck, that was all.
The party dies down below him and he hears things moving out towards the tree down the hall. He remembers that Liam and his grandmother hand out gifts to the staff about this time and he regrets not being there. He still intended to give Alice her gift from him later, but he would have liked to have taken the time to greet each of them, some he hadn’t even met, and thank them for what they do in the house.
In so many ways he’s not surprised at the knock that comes on his door, tentative and quick, as though the person outside fully expects to be rejected.
Harry rolls over and starts the painful process of sitting up, collecting himself as best he can before he responds.
“Come in.”
The door opens a crack and Louis’ eye is just barely visible as he tries to figure out Harry’s mood before he steps in further. Harry just waits, his face neutral and that seems to be acceptable enough to his friend who comes through the door quietly, closing it behind himself.
He turns towards Harry and fidgets slightly, hands pulling at the hem of his cuffs.
“Harry, I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you or upset you earlier, I know your convictions are important to you and you have every right to be mad.”
Harry looks away, eyes traveling across the quilt as he tries to quell his hurt. He knows Louis never meant to upset or belittle him.
“I know, I’m sorry for being so angry with you, but I just don’t understand why.” He returns his gaze to Louis, who looks confused, brow furrowing and head tilting slightly. Harry takes a deep breath and collects his thoughts and asks the one question that was bugging him still. “Why is it so important to you for me to admit feelings for Liam, to mate with him? I can’t figure out why this seems such a personal goal for you.”
Louis’ face relaxes and he smirks slightly.
“I thought you two would be happier together.” He stops and thinks for a few minutes, walking over to Harry and sitting on the other side of the bed facing Harry and takes a deep breath. “You don’t know who Liam was before he met you Harry. And yes, admittedly, I didn’t know you before you met him either, so I guess I’m working from only one side of the equation, but…” He looks down at his hands in his lap and Harry waits, he knows he will finish his thought when he’s ready. “He is so happy whenever you are in the room, he is happy just knowing you are in this house Harry. Liam has always been a well bred, polite man, dutiful and obedient to his families wishes and in keeping this house in order, truly a gentleman. But he always seemed sullen to me, and I knew he was lonely. I wanted so badly for him to find the same kind of love that Niall and I share, that bond, but when he found you, I realized that he might be destined for something greater and more importantly, that he deserves it, he deserves you and you deserve him.”
Harry frowns.
“You deserve joy and love and happiness too Louis, the same as him, the same as everyone,” Harry points out.
Louis smiles softly, his face gentle.
“I know, what I have is perfect for me. Niall and I might have our issues, as you witnessed recently,” he laughs. “But I don’t know that I would pick anyone else for me, could find anyone more perfect for me.”
Harry narrows his eyes, “But you say he’s not your true mate, yet you believe in that nonsense. Can you not see how I might start to get confused?”
Louis laughs once, a breathy sound, “Yeah I get it, but I can believe in something but not see it for myself. Like Niall said, it’s a rarity and neither one of us has really thought it could happen to us, but we had each other, and always will and there is something to be said for that.”
“But not for Liam.”
“It’s not that I believe he’s meant to have something greater as though he is above us in some way, it’s just that when you came into his life, it was clear that something greater was happening and even through all of the struggle and heartache and confusion you have subjected him to, he’s still happy every single time you walk into the room.”
Harry idly scratches at the bandage on his head, eyes back down on the quilt as he considers it all.
“Harry, I know you are against the entire concept of mating and I totally understand why, in fact I applaud you for it. I don’t think I have ever felt so strongly about it as you and I thank you for opening my eyes to it, but I do have to tell you that you are stronger with Liam at your side than you are alone. I don’t know entirely what your end goal is, whether it’s to storm the castle and take the King hostage until he agrees to change the laws or to just set fire to the House of Lords, but there are ways of achieving change without causing explosions you know.”
Harry laughs, picturing himself going after the King of England.
“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about actually trying to achieve change, if I’m honest, I know my mother had designs on doing something, but when you are living a day to day existence, it can be difficult to put a plan in place.” He sighs quietly, looking at his friend meaningfully. “I just don’t want to lose myself Louis, I don’t want to become the one who is at home, mentioned in polite conversation as a part of Liam and nothing more. I know Liam would never see me as that, I can admit to that, but it doesn’t mean I won’t feel like that because it’s exactly what will be expected of me. Right now, I’m still myself, I’m still an independent and individual person, even though legally I’m his property, but he doesn’t own me entirely, and I find security in that fact.”
Louis nods thoughtfully.
“I can understand that, but I worry that you are hurting Liam and yourself in the process. There is no shame in being someone’s mate Harry, I know that for a fact, and you have to pick your battles sometimes. Who knows what the future holds for us, but at least you have given me hope that change could happen. I would like to be considered a person in my own right, even as Niall’s mate, and it’s down to you that I now desire that, so thank you for that.”
Harry smiles at him and Louis grins back.
“You’re welcome. Let’s take on the world together shall we?”
Louis laughs.
“Yes let’s, but after your leg has healed, hard to storm a castle in a cast.” He laughs but then turns thoughtful again, head tilting. “Do decide what you plan to do with poor Liam soon as well please, I know you aren’t intending to hurt him and we both know he would go to the end of time waiting for you but I don’t know about how fair that is.”
Harry nods, while he could admit his feelings for the alpha to himself, he still wasn’t sure he wanted to act on them.
“Good,” Louis claps his hands together. “Now, can you stop feigning illness and get your ass out of bed and downstairs for Christmas dinner?”
Harry laughs and flops back onto the bed, wincing as his body throbs, but covers it by throwing a hand across his forehead and pretending to be suffering from faintness.
“I feel such a fright though my dear Louis, where are my smelling salts?”
Louis laughs and gently swats him in the arm, “Shut up, you’re fine, let’s go.”
Harry lifts his head and points to his leg.
“Does that look fine to you?” He points at his forehead. “And this, does this look fine?” He’s laughing slightly as he asks but Louis’ expression turns very serious.
“Harry, how are you doing really, so much has happened since that horrendous event took place and I know you have been doing your best to appear fine, but I worry that you are suffering and not sharing it.”
Harry sits up slowly again, Louis assisting by pulling his arm gently. He takes a deep breath before he replies. Admittedly, he couldn’t keep the nightmares at bay and the distractions involving Liam had almost been welcome because they kept his mind away from the memories. But he couldn't help what happened when he slept, and it was never good. He realizes that the only time he hadn’t had a nightmare since the event was when Liam had been sleeping beside him.
“It’s not easy, I have nightmares, but I just have to keep reminding myself that it could have been worse, he could have done…” He stops and swallows loudly and Louis takes his hand, his face distraught. “But he didn’t, it could have been worse and I will be alright in time I think.”
He nods at the end, as though convincing himself as well.
Louis squeezes his hand gently.
“I am always here if you need to talk, you know that,” he says softly.
Harry nods in response.
Louis squeezes his hand again and they both take a deep breath, trying to shake off the morose mood that had come over the room. Louis’ decides the best way to do that is to head to Harry’s wardrobe to find the best outfit for dinner, since it seemed Harry had no choice in the matter now.
They decide on a black suit that is more fancy than the usual. It was made for him to wear during the hunt but he’d never had it on his body. The trouble was, Alice hadn’t altered the pants since she had likely assumed he wouldn’t be wearing that particular outfit any time soon, at least not until London and she had a few days yet to prepare for that.
Louis’ grand idea to solve this problem is to find a pair of sheers in her knitting basket and cut up the side of the pant leg to his knee as neatly as possible. Harry about falls over laughing because he can’t wait for her response to this type of altering.
The next half hour is spent carefully getting Harry into his clothes, with a short and friendly but terse argument on whether he should wear a cravat or not. He finally wins the argument by declaring that his throat still needed rest and having something constricting about it would hinder the progress. Louis doesn’t buy it for a second, but decides to wave the white flag.
The next adventure takes them to the dressing table, where Louis attempts to style Harry’s hair into something more interesting than just curls on his shoulders or a knot on top of his head. But the problem was that he had not taken into consideration the sheer determination of Harry’s curls and their lack of willingness to behave.
Harry puts up with his head being tugged around, sharp pulls at his hair, for only so long before he bats Louis’ hands away and knots it as normal himself. Louis huffs in annoyance but waves the white flag again, admitting defeat.
He adamantly won’t back down on the cufflinks Harry wears or the shoe, but in the end, Harry is happy to let him win those arguments, as long as he doesn’t have to wear a cravat.
When he is finally dressed, they glance at the clock and worry that they might be late and start the slow walk to the stairs, Harry hobbling on his crutches. There was no way in hell Louis could lift him, let alone carry him and with Liam no where about, he knew he would have to take on the stairs himself as he had the other night when he had gone to the piano.
It’s slow at first, but he gets the hang of it again as he had the last time, and they make it to the hall faster than they had thought. Once there, they realize that the staff gift exchange is still going on and Louis suggests they go join them. But the task of dressing and coming down the stairs has exhausted Harry more than he had expected and he begs to go sit in the drawing room first for a little while, just to rest.
Not five minutes later the rest of their party finds them there.