Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eponine had quit smoking 4 times. The first time had been accidental, in that she lost her fake ID and hated to rely on other people or get ripped off by buying a single cigarette from the older kids in school. The second time she had quit because Gavroche had started mimicking her smoking, lighting pencils on fire and nearly burning down a tree at school. The third time had been for budgetary reasons after a temporary tax hike. The fourth time had been when Cosette had wanted to run the marathon and didn't want to train alone, but as soon as she and Marius started seeing each other she forgot her marathon ambitions and Eponine bought a fresh pack.

This would make attempt number five.

It started when Combeferre had told her she couldn't smoke in his apartment. He mentioned, in a gentle way, that maybe she shouldn't be smoking anywhere. He was saying all of this while using his fingers to trace circles on her back, which distracted her from actually taking in what he saying (then she became even more distracted). Whenever she went over to his apartment, there somehow managed to be literature about the adverse effects of smoking everywhere she looked. Combeferre told her that he had been asked to help rewrite the hospital's pamphlet, so he had been looking at others for inspiration.

It was when she found one laying innocently on her kitchen table she felt the fire in her start to burn. She grabbed her keys and drove over to Combeferre’s apartment, lighting a cigarette in the car just to spite him. After banging furiously on his door he opened it. "This," she said angrily, waving the cigarette in his face, "is not something you have any say over."

He waved the smoke away from his face before responding, "I really like kissing you, but I really hate that sometimes it's like swallowing ash or eating Bossuet’s version of toast." She threw her cigarette down and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down to her level and ignoring the noise of pain he made. Pretty soon he was ignoring it too.

While they lay in his bed she asked, "Is it really like Bossuet’s toast?"

Combeferre looked at her guiltily, "Yes, but a lot more pleasant."

"I will try quitting," she said, finally relenting. "But not for you. For all the health shit that you’ve left lying around." Her voice carried a hint of a warning (which was I will become irritable and prone to anger, and it will be all your fault, and I will make sure you know it).

She went straight from his apartment to the pharmacy bought the materials that she was so familiar with: the patch, the gum, and also an e-cigarette, because she had read good things about them. Gavroche was at her apartment when she got back with her items and upon seeing them mumbled something about being "anywhere but here."

Within three days she was already on edge. She somehow managed to burn her lip on the e-cigarette and the patch made her feel nauseous, though she remembered from experience that this part would fade. When Combeferre asked if she needed any help she snapped that she "didn't need shit," before storming off to the bar and taking a few shots with Grantaire.

The next day Cosette was at her doorway with a gallon jug of something that looked slightly green. She brushed Eponine aside before she could tell her to go away, talking about detoxing and how this would help her feel calmer which would hopefully help with cravings. She set the stuff on her kitchen counter before grabbing two glasses from her cabinet and pouring the stuff in. She handed her a glass and said, “Drink up.”

Eponine sniffed at it and made a face, “This smells like it should be in a toilet.”

“Pinch your nose,” Cosette said with little sympathy as she walked to sit on her couch.

Eponine took a sip and stuck out her tongue, her eyebrows pinching together. It also tasted like something that would be found in a toilet. “That’s disgusting.”

“Papa said it was very helpful when he decided to quit.”

“Papa has no taste buds,” She grumbled, sitting next to her.

“Besides I thought you said you were never quitting,” Cosette responded, before adding, “Actually, I believe your exact words were I will never quit for a guy.”

“I’m not quitting for a guy,” She responded, shooting her a withering look before cautiously taking another sip.

Cosette patted her knee before standing up, “Of course you’re not, dear. I have to be going. That will keep for four days. Try to drink two glasses or whenever you want a cancer stick.”

The next day Combeferre came over, also bearing gifts. His were the much more appreciated tums and ginger ale. “Thanks,” she said wearily, “Come on in.”

He set the bag down and stood awkwardly, unsure whether to hug her or stay far away given her mood in the past few days. “I, uh, I felt guilty, so I brought that because I know you said you had been feeling a little nauseous.”

“Why are you feeling guilty? It’s my bad habit.”

Combeferre looked over to her, and then looked at his shoes. “I just feel like if I hadn’t said anything…” He trailed off, not really knowing where he was going with that train of thought.

Eponine gave him a look and went to the fridge, getting out Cosette’s mystery concoction. Conversations that had the implication of becoming emotional caused cravings. So did shitty nights at work, being called in to talk to Gavroche’s or Azelma’s teachers, or being stuck in traffic. The number one reason to smoke, though, was emotional conversations, and Combeferre was giving her that look. She pinched her nose closed and chugged, wiping the back of her hand against her mouth in an unladylike fashion when she was done. “I was already thinking about quitting,” She said finally.

“I think you’re lying,” Combeferre responded quietly, still desperately trying to look at anything but her.

“I’m not.”

“I can tell you’re lying.”

“I’m not lying!”

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck it’s a duck,” He snapped, before flushing at the stupidity of the statement. He finally looked over at her and saw her disbelief at his temper. Eponine had always imagined it was nonexistent, like the Tooth Fairy or right-wingers that believed in global warming.

“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like it duck, it mostly sounds like you’re weird,” Eponine goaded. “And that you like ducks.”

“Stop dancing around the subject.”

“Why would I lie about something so stupid?” She asked carefully.

Combeferre sighed, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “What are we doing, Eponine?”

“I have so many other reasons to quit smoking,” She said, ignoring his question.

He started walking towards her, “I like you, Eponine. I don’t want to keep just hooking up. I want to make this real.”

For every step he took towards her she took a small step back, unsure of how it had gotten to this point. Wasn’t this just supposed to be some fun? Sure, he had gotten her that jewelry box but she thought it was his bizarre Combeferrian way of telling her to tidy her room. He was Combeferre, and she was Eponine, and the idea of becoming Combeferre and Eponine seemed to cause her tongue to swell up and her hands to become sweaty. She also thought maybe her heart was beating a little bit faster. Then she was against the wall and she had nowhere left to go unless she started to shrink down, hopefully becoming tinier and tinier so she could avoid this conversation.

“I know this scares you,” He said quietly, taking her hand. “You see couples like Cosette and Marius and they seem so wrapped up in each other that it’s almost sickening. And Jesus, don’t even get me started on Bossuet, Joly and Musichetta. I’m not asking to become that type of thing.” He put his other hand on her cheek and it felt cool and calming and better than any stupid health drink that Cosette could have made. “Let’s just give it a shot.”

She was silent for a moment, closing her eyes because the way he was staring at her was just a little too much right now. The whole situation was maybe too much, and if it had been anyone else she would have pushed them away and told them to talk to her again when they’re balls came back. Instead she said, “I did quit smoking for you.”

She opened her eyes and saw him smiling and she couldn’t help but smile back. Then he kissed her and she felt those fireworks and she never wanted it to end but he pulled away, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “That was a yes right?”

She laughed, suddenly feeling better then she had in days. “For someone so smart you can be really dumb.”

“So yes?”

In response she kissed him.