Chapter Text
The sun had already set off and I had just started to feel a bit cooler than before when I finally noticed what I got myself caught into. I was so upset and lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice where I was going and then I realized that I just got lost in who knows where in the Underworld. A shiver ran down my spine. I was lost in the Underworld . All this time I was so caught with Jungkook, Jimin, their lies and stories, with seeking the truth, that I didn’t really stop for a moment to think about it all. Powers? I have powers? What am I? I felt mad, crazy, a psychopath . I laughed hysterically, it seemed like a movie. One of those horror fantasy movies where the main character just keeps being himself or herself and then, when you least expect it, it suddenly clicks into their mind and everything turns into a crazy, horrifying story. My knees suddenly felt like jelly and I fell to the ground, keeping my hands firmly and tightly around my body. My eyes wide open and the angles of my mouth twitching around the crazy-like smile formed on my lips. If there ever was probably someone looking at me in that moment, they surely wouldn’t have survived the horrible scene. It really was like a terrifying horror movie, just that it was real. But was it?
Don’t you ever stop and look around you and ask yourself: is this all real?
Isn’t this all a dream? Life’s just a dream? And death is just the awakening? What if when we go to sleep and we dream… what if that’s the real world?
Usually those were the questions I asked myself sometimes, but not now. No. I was asking myself if I was real, if I was the real me, if this wasn’t all a crazy hallucination of my mind. Are the demons inside of me bigger than myself?
All of my thoughts were abruptly blocked by the crunching sound of trampled brunches and my attention brushed momentarily off from my thoughts to fall on a flashing gold that my eyes caught for a moment. I stood up slowly, afraid that could’ve been someone or worse something of the world I was currently caught in. But even after some moments, nothing came out of the woods even if the crunching noise continued regularly. I poked my head from behind the big tree in front of me and my eyes caught another glimpse of the previous gold, now realizing that it was hair. Long gold-like hair. They disappeared and appeared again through the trees but I couldn’t see the owner’s face, although it was pretty clear that it was a she .
My feet started moving almost involuntarily while my usual curiosity took the best of me and as always I just couldn’t mind my own business.
Sooner or later you’re going to get hurt by this attitude of yours, Mia .
My consciousness silently reminded me of that, but never did I listen to it. The blonde haired girl was really walking quickly but I managed to follow her somehow, always maintaining a certain distance to avoid being caught. Darkness was all around me, still, my eyes could clearly see her hair swing smoothly through the forest at a fast speed.
I was scared, but at the same time I wasn’t. The slow but fast movements of her moving in between the trees calmed me and maybe it made me think that if something ever happened I could’ve yelled loud enough for her to hear me and maybe save me. I didn’t realize, though, that I had started running as she was quickening her pace until we finally reached the end of her walk and I could see a little house in front of my eyes. What had me scared was that every decoration of the house was made of bones . I gasped and brought a hand to my mouth to not let her hear my sudden sound and quickly hid behind the nearest tree I found. I felt her steps stopping and slowly moving again. I held my breath feeling my heartbeat quickening from the adrenaline running through my body as I suddenly felt a wave of fear crash into my whole body thinking about the fact that she had probably heard my gasp. Never was I that scared to be found before and I hoped with all of my heart that she did not mind about that noise, in the end.
Luck was by my side .
I heard the last few steps before a little thud was made by the door of the house closing followed by the awful and slow crunch of some bones cracking. If I am the psychopath, there’s probably someone even worse than me, gosh , I thought while silently getting out of behind the tree to get a clearer vision of the house. And honestly, how was it possible that that someone could be the beauty that I had just seen a moment before? But maybe the bad feeling I had deep inside of me wasn’t just a coincidence when I first saw her.
There weren’t windows in the front of the house so I got near it without the fear of someone involuntarily catching a look of me nosing around. The worst of the places to nose around, furthermore. I placed my ear on the front door which actually creeped me out with all those bones hanging above my head but I tried my best to not mind them while trying to hear some kind of noise or voice coming from the inside. Nothing . Just pure silence and the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees surrounding me.
I just have made the worst decision of my life, probably, and can you guess what was it?
Yes, I just had placed my hand on the bones-made doorknob and slowly pushed the door open while waiting to hear some kind of noise and eventually run away. I gently pushed my head in between the door and the door frame watching carefully inside but I was more confused than anything else when my gaze fell on the darkness of the room. Literally nothing could be seen not even in the distance of one metre inside. Black all over the house. A shiver went down my spine while a feeling of uneasiness took the best of me while standing in that awkward and dangerous position. Something was wrong. It all felt way too easy. A seemingly-like ghost girl wandering around the forest all alone heading towards what seems to be a horror house made of – I want to throw up – real bones which probably weren’t animals’ and not to mention I get so close to the house I can actually take a sneak peek of the inside and nothing but darkness can be seen indoors completely undisturbed? I mean, if probably we were living on a whole different planet where horses could fly, trees were attached to the sky instead of the ground, the sun was irradiating cold and we were all little cutie green Martians then yes, it could’ve probably been likely realistic. But no, we still live on this planet called Earth and… actually my definition of planet needs to be reviewed after these past time I’ve been through, but anyway. It just couldn’t be.
I closed the door behind me and as soon as I turned around to start running as far away as I could go from that house I began freaking out. Darkness was all around me like I didn’t just close the door but actually entered the house – I bet I didn’t. Shaking my head from left to right, turning around, then again staring straight ahead in front of me – or what I thought was in front and not behind – I started panicking. Since when I was little I wasn’t too scared of the dark, but there were those times in which those shadows that haunt you just felt like breathing right above my head, and then on my neck, and then on my face. The feeling of hands on my shoulders and on my right calf, whispers behind me and right beside my left ear as they brushed past me like a strong and furious wind. I felt my cheeks getting wet while my body couldn’t move. I was paralyzed. It just felt like a nightmare, a nightmare so intense and so real. But was that a nightmare?
I think you’ve just given yourself to me, Mia .
What?
Who was talking?
You’ve saved me from a lot of effort to find you, but you’re just here now . Should I thank you?
Who are you?!
My eyes were shaking hoping to see something in the pitch black darkness around me but in a matter of seconds they rolled back on its own and everything just went blank.
You’ll know me soon, sweetheart .
“Mia… Mia, Mia! Wake up!” A muffled voice came crashing into my head as I slowly started getting my consciousness back, even though my sight was still all blurred and I could still feel that annoying whistling sound in my ears. I felt two strong arms wrapping tightly around my body and lifting me up from the ground as my face came in contact with what I supposed was a hard chest.
A fresh but strong scent made its way through my nose and woke all of my senses up a little bit more while I, unfortunately, or maybe not, recognized the owner of that particularly strong scent. If only I had the energy to lift my head up and argue on the fact that I could walk by myself and I was clear enough sometime before telling to stay away from me, I would’ve done it right away but nope, I didn’t have any energy left in my body nor in my soul. I was drained of everything that even the thought of arguing was making me faint and fall asleep once again. I was looking at the surroundings through my hooded eyes while we were going past them heading to probably the last place I wanted to be in.
I was confused, angry, tired and, last but not least, hurt, yet again I was in between a situation I couldn’t control and that I didn’t even understand the reason of. Once again I was asking myself why, why me , but answers? No, I didn’t have them. And probably I would never have. My heart clenched at the thought of the man I loved and clenched for the man I had feelings for. Confusing, right? A man I love and a man I’ve got feelings for. Seems like the same. But it’s not.
It never was.
For all of this time I had loved Jimin with all of my heart, and I still did, but when Jungkook came into my life, crashing it and destroying it completely, turning my routine of monotone life upside down… it all changed. I wasn’t able to control it even if I tried. I wasn’t able to stop it nor try to go back to how it was before, but I wasn’t able to do it… I was useless. To me, to my friends and to the people I loved.
“Jimin, open the door, please,” I heard Jungkook’s voice and worry could be felt through them. My heart clenched once again.
I felt guilty. It was all my fault and I was starting to realize it.
If only I didn’t go to the library that day… if only I didn’t take the book and wasn’t nosy that day, now everything would’ve been fine…
Memories of the days before it all started came back into my mind. How I used to be happy with Jimin, Yoongi, Haneul. We were just university students, studying, having fun, nothing was bad. Nothing worried us. Nothing bad could happen to us. It all was normal. Of course, I can’t deny the existence of the real nature of Jimin and Yoongi, but it could have been a secret if I had stayed still that day. I don’t almost even remember the feeling of having a normal life, hanging out with friends, with my boyfriend, kissing him and hugging him like normal couples do. I just have the little memories, but I don’t feel it on my skin anymore. I don’t feel anymore like I once did, like I once could . It’s different now. And Jungkook… he… changed me. For the better? I don’t know, yet I have this feeling inside me that is just unbearable when I think about him. It hurts but it’s a good feeling. It doesn’t feel right yet it does. It is unexplainable but I don’t want to know what this is. And Jimin… my heart aches, my body aches, it is both a physical and a mental pain I can’t stop nor ignore. This world has changed me and I miss my old self, my old days, my old life. I miss my friend, I miss living a life without worrying about someone always ready to kill or wanting something from me, they all wanted something from me… I miss living .
And I’m tired of all of this. I have to do what I have to do. I can’t stay here anymore.
I felt my body being lied down on something soft and a hand caressing my face.
“I’m so sorry, Mia…” A whisper and words like wind reached my ear. “Please, open your eyes, please…” Something wet fell on my cheek and as tough as it could be I tried to open my eyes with all my strength. I saw the blurred vision of light brown and wet hair buried in my neck. I groaned while trying to get up but the weight of his body was against me. He quickly lifted his head and locked his eyes with mine. Never did I see such expression on his face. He was happy and incredibly… grateful. I saw Jimin standing right behind him, smiling lightly at me and I smiled back. I locked once again my eyes with the unrecognizable Jungkook bent beside me who was holding my neck up.
“Looks like even the King of the Underworld has a heart after all,” I tried to light up the mood a bit and suddenly his arms were around me, holding tightly onto me.
He kissed my head and buried his head once again in my neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” He kept repeating that phrase over and over again while I caressed his back.
“Hey, look, I’m alive and fine, it’s over now,” I tried to reassure him.
I’m going to fix everything, Jungkook, this will end soon, I promise .
My eyes looked at Jimin’s figure, he wasn’t fine and I knew it. I slowly got up from the couch and stood up in front of him. My hand caressed his cheek, putting a lock of his hair behind his ear. Tears started to form in my eyes same as him. I nodded repeatedly while a smile was slowly forming on my face, I started sobbing and hugged him tightly. “Forgive me.”
He cried more on my shoulder and held me tighter against him.
I knew he knew everything. I knew he could feel everything through me, but I let him. I let him know what I had to do.
“It’s going to be better for everyone… I can’t continue like this, nor can you, nor can Jungkook…” I whispered in his ear.
“You can’t decide for yourself,” he shook his head while I nodded. “Yes, yes, I can, Jimin…” I broke the hug looking at him straight in the eyes, “and I will.” His reddened eyes were begging me to not do what I was going to do but even though it hurt seeing him like that, I couldn’t stop myself. I knew it was the right thing to do, and he needed to understand that.
“It’s the right thing to do… I will forever love you, Jimin. I’ll never forget you.” I whispered on his lips before kissing him. Our last kiss.
I turned around to face Jungkook and he was looking at me with desperate eyes. I whipped my tears away and smiled at him.
“Jungkook, I-”
“Please, don’t say anything.” The look in his eyes broke me, I knew he was hurt but maybe it was better if he hated me.
“I know you don’t love me, you never did. I forced you thinking you were someone else, thinking I could mix Beatrice with you. I was wrong… I was damn wrong. You’re completely different from her, Mia. She was selfish, evil and careless, instead, you’re so… stubborn, determinate, loving… You’re special, Mia. I want to thank you.”
I shook my head, “For what?”
“For making me fall for you. It was worth it even though I forcefully entered your life and you don’t love me back. I’m sorry because I put you in so much trouble when none of this concerned you. I should’ve sent you back the first time you came here, yet… I was so attracted to you, I was drawn by you,” his hand caressed my cheek while a small smile formed on his lips, “I love you, Mia.” He slowly placed his lips on mine and kissed me, gently. It felt like heaven had welcomed me inside. I didn't want to get out for the rest of my life.
Don’t do this to me, please…
His thoughts echoed in my mind and that just helped me less and less with my taken decision.
I’m sorry, Jungkook, this is the only way…
There must be another way! Please… , he begged and I shut down my mind. I couldn’t listen to him anymore or else I wouldn’t have been able to do what I decided to.
I backed away a little and whispered, “I’m sorry… Jungkook, Jimin, I love you…” I didn’t know why, but something inside me knew how to do what I was going to do and slowly I could see my hands disappearing into thin air and the sight of them crying and Jungkook shouting at me to not go while Jimin held him back tightly became more and more distant by the seconds. I closed my eyes shut and waited for some time until everything went black.
I jolted up opening my eyes in a rush and breathed all of the air I could fill my lungs with. I looked around me and saw the lake right in front of me, I looked at my reflection on the water’s surface while tears streamed down my cheeks. I sobbed hard and cried my all heart out disturbing the flatness of the surface. I screamed out loud holding onto my neck lightly.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts .
I’m sorry, please, forgive me .
After I don’t know how much time the sun set on the horizon and I had finished all the tears I could shed. It still hurt, but I was so hurt I didn’t even have any tears left to cry over my actions. “It’s better like this, Mia… It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine, it’s going to be fine…” I got up from the lake’s side and started to walk back through the park to go home.
Home …
I was finally going back home.
A month later
“Mia!” Haneul was running towards me like a crazy girl, shouting my name over and over again. Once she was finally got in front of me, she climbed onto me becoming like a koala that mistook me for a tree. “I passed! I passed the audition! I’ll be the main character!” She shouted in my ear.
“Oh, my God! That’s amazing!” I jumped with her while embracing her as tight as I could. “I’m so happy for you!” She backed away and looked at me before pulling me in for another tight hug.
“Thank you, Mia… I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I’ve done nothing, Haneul, you’re the talented one and the one who passed the auditions.” I smiled at her caressing her hair.
“I need to tell Taeyong!” She grinned widely.
“Then hurry! What are you still waiting for?” I grinned back and patted her on the back slightly pushing towards her boyfriend’s direction. She nodded at me and ran quickly to him.
I saw them talking for a second then hugging while spinning round and round just before kissing happily. They were so beautiful, and he was just perfect for her. I smiled then started walking back to the library.
When I first came back I was pretty lost. It all looked new like the very first time I came here. I almost immediately went to look for Haneul worried that she could’ve been worried about me since I was away for quite a long time… turns out it just had been one week and she thought I was on vacation. To be honest, everyone knew that version of the facts. I remembered that time went by differently in the Underworld, but never did I think that it was like that. I mean… it had been something like a month when indeed it was just a week here. That’s crazy.
After making things out with Haneul - and no, I didn’t tell her about anything, I needed to be sure to not put her in danger - well, I went back to school and tried to get back to work as best as I could meanwhile Haneul was preparing for casting auditions for a drama that was going to be filmed soon. She never told me about her secret love for acting, but she later told me that it was because she was always insecure about it since her parents never encouraged her much to take that route. And well, her parents were definitely wrong. She had told me so many times that she couldn’t wait to prove them wrong and I was so happy that she could finally do what she had hoped to do for such a long time. I, on the other hand, still thought about Jungkook and Jimin, even though I was almost fully recovering from the loss. On the first week I was destroyed, drained of all my energy, emptied of all my will to live, but eventually, thanks to Haneul and new friends I made, I managed to get my life back into my hands and start everything again. I wasn’t the old Mia anymore for sure. I couldn’t just ignore all the things that happened before, nor could I ignore the fact that I had superpowers of which I still didn’t know the complete knowledge nor origin, in fact, I just started doing researches when my parents came for a visit and well I was busy doing the city guide.
“But now that they’re gone back home…” I can finally go back to my researches .
Pushing the library’s door I waved at the old man sitting behind the desk and took a seat on the last row of tables nearer the historical section. I took my laptop and notebook out of my backpack and got up to get the books that could be helpful.
I was wandering around the shelves to find some interesting book until finally, one caught my attention. I got nearer and nearer until I could finally see its cover and I dropped all of my books gasping loudly. I froze there in shock while shivers ran down my spine. “It can’t be…” I could have recognized that book’s cover among thousands, “Why now? Why are you here?” I whispered a little while backing away but tripping over my feet and falling down on my back. The fall distracted me for a second from the book and when I looked up at it again the cover was different. I took it and I blinked a few times to see if I saw wrong, but no, it wasn’t the book.
I was sure that…
I placed the book back and gathered all of the books on the ground before running quickly to my seat noticing that everyone was staring at me in confusion.
The person next to me asked me if everything was alright, pointing out that I looked a little pale and I nodded slightly even though I was freaking out.
I sat down and spread the books over the table switching on my laptop and grabbing the first book I found but when I looked at it, again it was the book. I screamed in horror jumping from my seat backward and disturbing the quietness of the room.
“Hey, would you mind being quiet, please?” A guy not too far away from me scolded me and I looked at him in panic. I gulped and nodded slightly, “Sorry…” I whispered not too loudly.
I was ready to sit down but once again the book turned into a normal one. It couldn’t just be a coincidence. I knew what I saw and I was sure of it. Something was wrong and I knew it.
Why now? Please, not now... After I finally managed to bear with my memories and my feelings, not now that I’m finally back to my normal life, please… make it not be true, make it not be true, please…
I tried to calm down and once I did, I gathered again all of my things and quickly got out of the library, I decided that I was probably tired and stressed because of everything thus I decided to go home and have some rest before hanging out with my friends that night.
Yes, it must be stress .
Once I was finally home, it all went by pretty much smooth and calm for the rest of the afternoon. I had time to have a shower and get ready with plenty of time available, I could think but also distracting myself from thinking too much and when eventually it became too much I went out to have a small talk with the lovely granny who was watering the plants as usual.
Time went by pretty quickly and the time to go have dinner and a night of fun with my friends came. I put on a simple slightly dark red dress with a black and cozy cardigan on top of it and black boots. Wearing my coat and taking my bag with the things I needed inside of it, I got out of the apartment and waited for Haneul right outside the gate of my place’s building. She soon got there and we walked together to the restaurant our friends were waiting us at. It was a simple yet cool restaurant to eat at, there were many students and people of our age too; I liked it even if it was kind of crowded. We greeted the man behind the counter exchanging a few questions since it had been some time I hadn't seen him and he accompanied us to our table.
We took our seats and ordered a few dishes that we all were going to share somehow and waited for them to come. A few conversations broke in the middle of our drinking here and there.
“Mia, I’ve always wanted to ask you this. How do you cope with being so far away from your parents? Like, I get that the visit you every once in awhile but you’re still very far away from them and so they are from you.” Haneul’s boyfriend turned his face towards me and for a moment I was taken aback by his question really out of place and unexpected, but seeing his relaxed and calm face kind of relaxed me too.
“I don’t… cope with it indeed. Since when I was 14 I’ve always wanted to move out and as far away as possible from my hometown. For me it was always a too-much-restricted reality, I felt suppressed, suffocated. I had to be free and let my wings fly spread and my parents have always supported me on this. I guess they kind of were making their ideas since then,” I chuckled lightly, “now that we’re far apart from each other, I see how important they were, but they here,” I pointed at my chest, “deep inside me it’s as if they’re here even now. I can’t explain this properly, yet I swear this feeling's so strong I can’t say it with words.” I smiled looking at their being overwhelmed by bewilderment followed by a softened expression which almost showed pity, and if they weren’t my friends I would’ve felt maybe offended.
“I bet it’s the same for them,” Haneul added.
I nodded, “I guess so.”
“It’s because you’re special…” I froze. I lifted my head up and looked at my friends’ faces to see who had talked, but none of them seemed to be talking to me. That voice …
For a moment my heart stopped and my eyes kind of became wet, more than they should have been. I came back to sipping on my soup as memories I didn’t want to think about threatened to come out again. It had to be my imagination anyway since I told them goodbye long ago and a goodbye it should’ve remained. They knew that too. “You’ve always been special to me.”
The spoon I had in my hands fell down to the table dropping all the soup it had on it while screams of the few females of the table could be heard because of the sudden surprise. Followed by many questions such as oh God, are you okay? , what the hell…? , is my dress dirty? , hands shaking and tears rolling down my cheeks it felt as if there was a plug between my ears and the real world that surrounded me. I quickly got up and got outside the eating room to go towards the rear door. I felt pulses throughout my whole body, shaking me and making it hard to even walk. I knew that voice wasn’t someone common, I knew that voice and it was calling me. When outside suddenly the pulses ceased and I gained my energy back. I looked around me in the pitch black and just a few figures of garbage and bins could be seen. My breath became heavier and heavier as seconds passed by until finally a mere screeching could be heard not too far from where I standing and I gasped.
“I hope you didn’t think I would’ve let you go like that.” My face scrunched up, I brought a shaking hand in front of my mouth as a high-pitched and raspy sound was coming out from it. Tears streaming down my face as if they were painting on a canvas, my other hand reaching out for something I couldn’t until finally the voice stepped out of the darkness and the figure appeared in front of my eyes. His hands wrapping around my waist to keep me up while my knees abandoned me and all of the energy I had left in my body was drained out completely. I sobbed so hard I was sure everybody nearby could hear but I couldn’t care less. I wrapped my arms around his neck looking out for his lips which I found out where looking for mine too. They met. And everything became life again. I didn’t realize how much I had and could miss him until now that he was finally here in front of me after all this time. Our foreheads connected together as he listened to me sobbing in both pain and joy, when I also heard something wet fall on my cheek and I opened my eyes. His dark eyes turned to a sparkly green, the most beautiful and burning green I had ever seen in my life, were filled with tears that were falling just as mine did. His tears were green, painting his face and they sparkled in the dark until disappearing into his own skin. It was the most beautiful scenery I had ever seen in my whole life.
“It’s because I’m the human world.” As always he read my feelings and my mind. Nodding I started giving him thousands of pecks on his lips surrounding his face with my hands, it felt almost as he could disappear any second.
“Why…? Why now?” Crying even more I asked him, holding him tightly, afraid that he could get away.
“You have to come with me.”
“You can’t ask me this.”
“I’m not asking,” he trapped my lips once again shutting my sobs into his mouth. I couldn’t even believe he was there kissing me, nor that he was taking me away. Again, I wasn’t able to control myself under his touch. But my body being held so tightly around his arms felt so perfect, our lips together felt so perfect, our tears mixing felt so perfect, all of this felt so perfect and I felt alive for the first time in a month.
“You don’t… You don’t know how life was for me after you were gone.” He started in a whisper. “When you left like that everything seemed to shatter down to pieces. I didn’t understand anything all at once, I felt incomplete and emptied. During this month I found out a part of me I didn’t know about. I thought I’d never see you again…,” he hugged me tightly.
I kissed his forehead and held him tighter than he was. Smiling in the crook of his neck and passing him all my emotions, all my thoughts.
“I love you so much, Jungkook.”