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HELLO! I've been gone for quite some time, and so I feel like I owe you all an explanation. Like you might have seen in the chapter summary, I am determined to finish this fic. But, it's been decidedly difficult to do so for a number of reasons. Bear with me.
1. I wrote this when I was in 8th grade. I was literally 12. Subsequently, I knew nothing about writing. I just knew I enjoyed reading and I wanted to make something of my own and I decided to shoot my shot at it. I didn't even make an outline, I kinda just went with whatever the fuck I wanted, which have made things really hard for present me.
2. I don't know what the fuck 12-year-old me was thinking, but she was clearly ambitious. Like... Holy fuck. There are several things that I've realized over the past (nearly) 4 years since I started writing this. I think I bit off way more than I could chew. I have several questions to ask my past self. Like, what was the point of having Atsumu there. Why did you make a love triangle with Akaashi, Shirabu, and Atsumu. Literally what was the reason. Also, why does Akaashi have to have a terrible relationship with his dad on top of everything? Jesus. And I don't really like the way I characterized Atsumu here cos. Firstly I didn't even bother to write Atsumu in with his accent, which I feel is such an important aspect to his character ++ it'd be criminal if i didn't make him play volleyball-- I feel like I wrote Atsumu more like Osamu, so I might fuck around and replace Atsumu w/ Osamu but at this point who knows!!!
3. Again, because my updates were so sporadic, as a result, my writing style changes with each chapter, and the inconsistency bothers me. I feel like there are some parts where Akaashi gets kind of out-of-character too, and I want to fix that.
4. I write really long chapters, which isn't a problem, but I think I focused a lot on my word count and as a result, there are a lot of filler scenes where I could have been adding more substance into the story. I feel like my pacing is kinda jumpy, too. (12-year-old me also did not know what a beta reader was, nor did she proofread her chapters... absolutely no words)
5. To summarize, I've changed vastly since I began writing this, and I'm incredibly thankful for all of the love and support that you all have given this fic! But, as it stands, I don't know where to go from here, and it sucks. I know how I want this to end, but I'm struggling with how to get there. I have three options. So it was either I:
A. Continue writing this, but it's going to undergo some heavy editing.
B. Create a separate work for the edited version, but this version remains unfinished.
C. Leave this unfinished, but re-write as a really long one-shot.
I'm leaning more towards option A since I've invested so much time and energy into this already, and it would be such a waste for me to just flake out. Like, holy shit you guys. We're closing in on 18,000 hits. That's so many. So, heads up, I'm going to be editing my chapters in the weeks to come, and I don't really know how big the changes are going to be, but either way, I hope I'll be able to write something that would make you guys happy. That being said, I need your help! I need input as I'm editing, and I was planning on making a new twitter account, so if you guys could maybe follow me on there so I could hear from some of you, I think it would be really helpful for me so that I could continue to write. Follow me @basiIIeia (the l's are two capital i's) if you wanna keep up with me and the progress that i'm making!
On that note, I would just like to end this by saying that I'm literally so fucking sorry. Especially for those of you that have stuck around since the beginning, I too would like to throttle myself for not having finished this yet. Please continue to be patient with me!
Basil-