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When he turned 2 he got his first memory.

A slash of blades, a downpour of blood and the feeling of flying through the air, faster than light. He remember waking from a dead sleep and screaming until his lungs gave out, his parents rushing into him and holding him until he quietened and rocking him back to sleep. 

When he turned 3 he remembered his first face.

Red hair, freckles and an infectious smile that had him grinning for no reason at all. He remembered her face and her laughter and how she had called him her brother. Then he had asked his mother where his sister was, she had laughed lightly and told him he didn't have one before ruffling his hair and sending him outside to play. 

When he turned 4 he remembered his first death.

A woman with his black hair and grey eyes lying stiff and silent and him waiting and waiting for her to wake up. He remembered how she smelt of dried sweat and cheap perfume and the way her fingers had brushed through his hair when she thought he was funny. He had dreamed of her face and her little smile as she'd gone to sleep and then of shaking her to try and wake her up. He had cried for hours and neither of his parents could understand why, he had cried and cried over the woman sobbing into his own mother's chest.

When he turned 5 he remembered the Titans.

He woke up screaming, horrible screams that shook their whole house. He'd had nightmares of terrifying monsters who were tearing his entire world apart and killing everyone he loved, he'd had to watch as they'd eaten people without an end in sight. He cried and cried mumbling names of people he didn't know, names of people he'd never met except in his dreams. It was when he turned 5 that his mother and father had started to worry that his nightmares weren't normal for a child and started to take measures to help him.

When he turned 6 he had his first panic attack.

Every time he closed his eyes he could feel the darkness descend on top of him, he could feel the walls closing in and almost smell the staleness of the air. He felt the despair of not being able to move, never able to leave the darkness- all he wanted was the sun and fresh air. His parents found him curled in on himself, his eyes squeezed closed and tears tracking down his cheeks, not able to breathe. They had swept him up into their arms and driven as fast as they could to the doctors, the first of many, to find out what was happening to their son.

When he turned 7 he refused to sleep inside.

He tiptoed down the stairs with a blanket in his hand and slid the door open to their backyard. He smiled as the fresh night air hit his face and the stars shined brightly over his head, he felt freer than he had only moments before when he was surrounded by walls. He wandered over to a big oak tree which took up the back corner of their yard and sat down, curling up under his blanket with his head against the trunk and fell asleep soundly. His father found him early the next morning, his face pinched and worried but all he could do was pick his son up and carry him back indoors. Every night he would do the same thing, he'd fall asleep in his bed only to wake up in a panic and feel so constrained he couldn't breathe- not until he was outside again. After a week his parents started locking the door but it wouldn't really stop him instead he'd come downstairs, open a window and fall asleep under the night breeze.

When he turned 8 he started going to therapy.

His parents had always worried something was wrong with him, the way he never slept through the night and his constant talk of people and places that weren't real. They had thought he had an active imagination, that he was simply spirited but as the panic attacks continued and nightmares worsened they sought out help. He spent long hours talking with a trained professional, the woman listened to him as he spoke of his friends- of Farlan with his steady smile and Izzie with her bright red hair and love of flying. She let him talk about Titans and how he hated sleeping inside and about all of his dreams and nightmares, some which had been recurring ever since he was very small. And after awhile when she knew it wasn't a phase, that he absolutely believed in every dream and every nightmare, did she start trying to convince him they weren't real.

When he turned 9 he had his first sleepover.

Three of his friends stayed over and they were allowed to sleep in the loungeroom and watch movies past their bedtime, they crashed from their sugar high only to be woken by his screams in the very early morning. He had dreamed about fighting, a knife in his hands and blood on his clothes as he fought for his life for the entertainment of others. He heard the laughter of men around him, shouts of bets being placed and the sight of a boy much older than himself facing him. A knife in his hand, too. He woke screaming and panicking, not able to shake the feeling of forcing a knife into a person's stomach, not able to forget the feeling of warm blood running over his hands and the sounds a boy makes when he dies. When he turned 9 he had his last sleepover.

When he turned 10 his heart tripped and his stomach fell with the memory of a face.

Green eyes flecked with gold, a messy mop of brown hair and a force of will to be reckoned with. He remembered the sound of his voice and the way he laughed with his whole body, he felt how his heart quickened and spluttered with every word that left his mouth and how when their eyes met he felt home for the first time.

When he was 10 he learnt how to lie.

He remembered moments after that. Splashes of names and faces running through his mind every time he fell asleep, he could almost feel the wind in his hair as he flew through the air and fought with more strength than was normal. He remembered the blood and the steam and the screams of those who couldn't be saved. 

The boy with green eyes was there too.

Beside him in a crisp green military uniform, flying next to him with blades raised and sometimes he was just out of reach as he walked with a small blonde boy and a fierce black haired girl. His smile faded the older he got but sometimes if he was very lucky one was directed at him and he knew what it was like to be safe.

He tried not to talk about them with anyone. He learnt how to lie about his dreams because every time he didn't he would get the same worried looks from his family or his teacher or his therapist. So he kept it to himself, kept every one to himself and refused to speak about them. Not about the boy with green eyes or the woman with a crazy laugh, not the man with one arm or even the little redhead with freckles. His parents thought he was living in a fantasy world and that they weren't real. But to him? They were real.

He began to live his life in and out of therapy and got good at saying what they wanted to hear, no one wanted him to be honest, they wanted him to be normal. He was in and out of reality with each scrap of memory he got, never quite belonging in either world or anywhere at all.

Nowhere felt like home to him.

When he turned 16 he remembered his own name. He heard it slip from the lips of the boy ever present in his mind. Levi. He loved the way it sounded.

He lived in his pieces of memories hoping they were real and that someday he could go home. That he could find the people he loved and needed to protect. That both his parents and psychologist were wrong and that he wasn't strange or unbalanced or mentally unstable because he didn't think he wanted to live in a world where it wasn't real.

Where he wasn't real.

When he turned 17 a memory hit him in the middle of class.

He had been drifting off thinking only of intense green eyes when it happened. A sheet of heavy rain. His heart pounding in his chest. An enormous steaming figure just in his line of sight.

He didn't remember starting to scream. He didn't remember blacking out and he definitely didn't remember falling to the floor. He didn't remember the shock and panic of his classmates or teacher, he didn't feel the bruises forming on his body after falling and he could do nothing except surrender to full force of the memory.

He only saw bodies. Red Hair. Dirty blonde.

He only felt rage. Red tinged fury overtaking his body.

And then he was moving faster than was possible. Slicing, slashing and destroying. Single-handedly taking apart the creature who had killed his only friends.

He woke screaming their names, sobbing that he couldn't save them and knowing it was all his fault.

He woke vowing to destroy them all.

It was when he 17 he realised the memories were a curse. That they were full of false hope and pain. He didn't want them to be real anymore, he didn't want to know that much pain and sadness not even for the sake of his green eyed boy. For in his dreams all hope had been abandoned for only those foolish enough to think they had a chance.

He didn't want it anymore. And for the first time he wanted to forget. 

He got scared after that, scared that the next time he fell asleep he would see more blank faces of people he had loved. He holed himself up in his room and didn't talk to anyone, he spent hours praying and hoping that he was crazy and that with the right drug he would come to his senses. He wanted his parents to be right.

Three days later his parents admitted him to a psychiatric ward.

He went willingly.

When he turned 18 he woke from a dead sleep, screaming and crying and cursing.

When he turned 18 he remembered everything.

When he turned 18 he wasn't sure he wanted to live anymore. Not with these godforsaken memories.

Isabel and Farlan were dead.

Eld, Gunther, Olou... Petra. Gone.

Mike Zacharius no longer had his back. 

Erwin Smith had left him alone.

Hange Zoe had fallen and no longer laughed.

Annie Leonhart. Reiner Braun. Bertolt Hoover. Ymir. Murdered for the cause.

Jean Kirstein. Historia Reiss. Connie Springer. Sasha Braus. Not dead but never the same. Honoured heroes who gave everything for humanity.

Armin Arlert. Burnt and broken. And who never got to see his ocean.

Mikasa Ackerman. His cousin. Died in a blaze of glory protecting the person she loved the most and freeing humanity from the curse of titans.

And Eren. His bright eyed dream. His friend from a hundred memories.

Shackled and led into the sunshine as he watched, he was brought forward slowly. The sun glinted off a sharp blade. He had run. Closer and closer until he had thrown himself over Eren. Between him and the guillotine. 

Eren wiping away a single stray tear and letting his lips pull up in a small smile that broke his heart. Looking older than his 18 years he had whispered words that only he could hear.

'I need to destroy all the titans. And now I'm the only one left. I made a promise'.

Eren had pushed him away and taken slow, shaky steps forwards as he stayed frozen in place. There was nothing he could do but watch as Eren knelt on the ground and lowered his head. He looked to him, his eyes full of unrestrained tears, his body shaking and his lips moving over words they'd only spoken that morning.

'I love you'.

The words echoed around the courtyard followed by the swish of a blade slicing through the air and a sickening thud that broke the last of his will.

He had screamed and fallen to his knees, tears falling freely to splash onto unforgiving stone. The last stitch holding him together had snapped and he knew he wouldn't recover. He would never come back from this.

The fight was done.

His hope, his home, his friend laid to rest.

He was left with nothing except pain and guilt. Without Eren he didn't want to fight anymore.

His last memory was short and hazy. Sand between his toes and a cool ocean breeze ruffling his hair. A jar held tight in his hands as he stood by the expanse of ocean before him. He smiled one last time as he breathed in the salty air and lifted the lid off the jar.

The ashes were swept away, out into the ocean and beyond.

He closed his eyes and whispered, 'I'll see you soon' before wading out into the water and letting the waves take him away. Surrounded by darkness he didn't feel afraid, he only felt the pain go away, the guilt fade and the regrets disappear.

Until the only thing that was left was a pair of green eyes and a happy grin and Eren whispering the words, 'I love you'.

And finally as the last of his breath left him he felt like he was finally at peace.

Because he would be with Eren soon.

When he turned 19 he was finally allowed to leave Grace Spencer Psychiatric Centre.

He left with thick scars on his wrists, bottles of prescribed medicine in his bag and the knowledge that he was mentally unstable. And yet the dreams never stopped, they only got more vivid as he replayed the best parts over and over again. It was the only thing that kept him standing after everything, the memory of leaving the walls for the first time with Isabel and Farlan and seeing the greatest expanse of space beyond him.

When he met Eren for the first time and saw just how much anger and grief he was holding onto, the overwhelming feeling of needing to help him whatever the cost because he knew Eren would be their best chance. He was their hope.

When Historia had punched him in the face played over and over, all of his squad looked petrified of his response but he had smiled for the first time in months at them. He smiled at them because they were here and so very alive, they were young and their future was worth fighting for.

But the best memory was one of his last. When Eren came to him late at night and kissed him hard, pressing his body close and never letting go. He never told anyone about Eren, the boy with green eyes was his alone and he thought if maybe he spoke his name aloud he would disappear. And even if he was crazy, if Eren was nothing but a vivid delusion he didn't care. He never wanted to forget Eren.

When he turned 20 he changed psychiatrists.

His old psychiatrist moved away and his parents decided transferred him to someone else. By now he was in a constant state of not caring, he tried to forget the screaming of his friends and the images of their deaths but he couldn't. All he could do was focus on the good memories, the ones with laughter and happiness and smiles.

His first appointment was on a Thursday morning at 11:00 and he had been waiting for 15 minutes when the door finally opened and a young woman came out and called his name. Not his name but the name he was forced to use everyday, even now after 20 years it still felt wrong. Nothing sounded as right as Levi.

He was led into a beige office and told to have a seat, she smiled and told him his Dr would be in right away. He just sighed and took the seat on the lounge, it was beige too.

He only waited 5 minutes before the door opened and he lifted his eyes.

He felt all the blood drain from his face and could feel his body starting to panic. This could not be real. This man was not here. This was simply another episode. He was having an episode that was all. He was having a waking nightmare and yet all he could do was shake violently and try to regulate his breathing.

Erwin Smith could not be here.

But the man walked forward carefully, his hands (two of them) raised and a small knowing smile on his lips as he stared at him. At Erwin's smile he started to cry, he was spiralling out of control not even close to being better. And now his delusions were taking over. 

Either that or his whole life was a lie and Erwin was real.

Or this was just some really sick joke.

But the man stepped over and sat down next to him, his weight making the lounge dip and him hiccup at the realness of this particular episode. And then he spoke, his voice exactly like in his memories.

"I found you" he murmured, his tone scratchy and breaking in the middle. He looked up at the man to see his eyes going glassy as they surveyed him, from the way his hair was all the same length to the tear tracks running down his cheeks to where his hands lay in his lap, scars peeking out from the edge of his sleeves.

"Levi..." he had whispered.

He broke down at the sound of his, crying loud and messy not caring that it was highly unusual for him. Not caring that the last time he had cried like this was just before he took a small sharp blade to his wrists in the corner of the shower as cold water had rained down on him.

"Shh... it's going to be OK" Erwin murmured placing a large warm hand on his shoulder and hitting home to him just how real this was. Erwin Smith had found him. Just a little bit late.

Erwin Smith was there and real and alive.

Which meant...

"Eren?" he croaked out desperately, clinging to any hope that Eren was real. His eyes were wild as he met Erwin's and seeing the worry etched into the man's expression

"I don't know" Erwin replied honestly, "I've only managed to find a few of you so far... Eren was quite a bit younger than us and I don't know how that translated here".

"But he could be here?" he asked and felt the hope in his words.

"I believe so" Erwin confirmed, smiling softly as he broke down again. Crying brokenly for his friend. His Eren from his memories, his Eren who died so that humanity could live, his Eren who had lost everyone he had loved just like him.

His Eren who could be alive and still suffering. Being told he was crazy and that their past wasn't real. 

His Eren who could still be in pain even after everything.

He felt a surge of anger knowing that Eren may not be happy. He deserved everything in the world and for him not to be happy even now was heartbreaking.

"How do we find him?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice that Erwin seemed to recognise if that little smile was anything to go by.

"I have some ways and I'm working on it, I promise" Erwin said.

"How... how is this real?" he asked quietly afraid that if he spoke too loud he would wake up or Erwin would disappear. A small part of him still felt like this could be a delusion, that he would wake up in hospital with his parents telling him he'd had a psychiatric break, that he had thought his new psychiatrist was the same man from his delusion's.

But nothing happened. It felt real. Erwin was real.

"I don't know" Erwin said, "I have some theories but honestly? I feel like the universe might just want to give us a do-over. Give all of us a chance to be happy".

"I'd like to be happy" he had said so quietly he wasn't sure Erwin had even heard him.

"We have a lot to talk about Levi, about now and about... then" Erwin said carefully, he shot him a dangerous look and Erwin stiffened, "there are things we should all know".

"I don't want to talk about it" he said, "I've spent my whole life being told to forget, I've watched everyone I loved die and couldn't do a fucking thing about it. I've been told I'm crazy, that I'm delusion and unstable. I've been told so many times that you weren't real, that Isabel and Farlan weren't real, that Hange wasn't real... that Eren wasn't real. I can't do it again".

"I need you too, Levi" Erwin pressed, "I only know so much... the people I've found know less. I died, Levi, I don't know anything past that. I'd like to know what happened, if we won".

"Oh" he had whispered, realising that everyone's memories would be different. He only knew his, he knew his life, his death but nothing more. Erwin didn't know any of what had happened after he had died.

"Just... as much as you can, please" Erwin said softly, sounding a little desperate.

"We won" he whispered and Erwin let out a huge sigh of relief, his body seeming to relax at the words.

"We won?" he asked.

"Yeah... we lost nearly everyone but we won" he said, "we defeated the titans".

"We actually did it... you did it" Erwin said looking at him with pure joy at knowing he hadn't died in vain.

"Eren did it" he corrected him, "I was there but Eren won, he defeated every last titan". Erwin seemed to draw his own conclusions from the sound of Levi's voice, the way it broke at the end and how he couldn't help another tear sliding down his cheek.  

"He was very brave" Erwin said softly.

"He was an idiot" he replied.

Erwin chuckled at that and sighed again, "if you're up to it I have some people that want to see you".

"What?" he asked shocked, his eyes going wide.

"I said I had found others" Erwin informed him, "it's translating weird though, for example you are much younger than I was expecting. The others are all quite a bit older than you, I think that's why you were so hard to track down... I was looking for someone older".

"Right" he said still hung up on the idea of others, "who... who did you find?"

"How about we go meet them?" Erwin offered and he nodded, standing up and trying to steady his breathing. Erwin passed over a box of tissues which he took with only slight annoyance and made sure to clean himself up. He didn't want to meet anyone looking like this.

"Where are they?" he asked.

"Follow me" Erwin replied. 

Erwin led him out of the small room, his long legs striding down the hall with purpose, while he tried to keep up. He had to walk quite quickly to keep a step behind Erwin but he wouldn't ask the man to slow down. After a few minutes Erwin stopped outside a wooden door and turned to him with a small smile.

"You're going to be quite overwhelmed" Erwin said, "I've told them to try and tone it down but you have no idea how excited they are, they're going to be loud and enthusiastic. You're probably going to panic and if it gets bad I'll get you out of there but it's going to be OK".

He nodded his heart speeding up at the reality. He was going to see them.

"Just please remember that this is all real, I promise we're real" Erwin said quietly and then turned the handle, opened the door and held it for him to walk in.

He stepped in slowly but nothing that anyone could have said could have prepared him for what he saw.

The first person he saw was Hange, brown hair tied up in a messy ponytail, wearing blue jeans and a loose sweater with her glasses perched on her nose. She met his eyes and gasped, hands covering her mouth before she jumped up and in a blur of movement she was on him. Crushing him in a hug and not letting go. He hugged her back needing to make sure she was real.

She only let go when someone else approached and said, "you're still short, bro".

He knew the voice, looking up in astonishment as he saw Isabel's face. 

"Izzie?" he asked breathless, a part of him knowing this must be a dream. Nothing in his life had ever been this good.

"Yeah, I'm here" she said with a watery smile and hugged him in place of Hange, Levi squeezed her back and closed his eyes praying that this would never end. Even if it was a delusion he didn't care, just let him stay.

"You're alive..." he muttered and then broke away looking around frantically for a pair of familiar eyes, "...Farlan?"

"Here" he said and in a show of complete sentimentality he covered both of his friends in a hug, Izzie giggled at the feeling and Levi felt himself smile a real smile for the first time in years.

"I'm here too!" Hange said dramatically and jumped on the three of them forcing them to the floor in a pile. He felt himself laughing, he was probably crying as well but he didn't care he was feeling pure joy for thew first time in a very long time.

He looked up and surveyed the rest of the room taking everyone in. He was met with the sight of four of his soldiers, his squad standing at attention for him, hands in a fist over their hearts as they grinned.

He stood up slowly and approached them with wide eyes, sure that he would never see them again. Petra with red rimmed eyes and dressed in a knee length skirt and blouse, Oluo next to her in jeans and a sweater grinning and Eld and Gunther smiling wide.

Levi saluted them and then lowered his head, "thank you" he whispered, knowing they would understand. They did and soon enough Levi was brought to the floor once again by the force of his squad needing to hug him.

"It was an honour" Petra whispered to the agreement of the others.

After awhile he heard a tiny voice saying, "mummy?"

They pulled apart and Levi watched as Petra sat up and let her daughter crawl into her lap, she had her mother's hair and nose and Levi smiled at Petra's daughter. The big surprise was when she turned to Oluo and said, "daddy? who's he?"

"Emily, this is Captain Levi Ackerman" Oluo said proudly, "he's a friend".

"Oh" she said and then grinned toothily, "nice to meet you".

"Hi" Levi breathed out and then he had another child in his lap, a little boy with dirty blonde hair and big green eyes.

"And this is our kid" Izzie said with a grin, "James Levi Church".

"We weren't sure we'd ever see you again" Farlan said with a smile, "but we thought he should be named after his godfather anyway".

"This is... this is..." Levi struggled with words before he just let himself cry again. Everyone was OK, Izzie and Farlan were here and had a kid. His squad were alive. Hange. Erwin. 

He could feel the little pieces of himself that he'd thought he'd lost being pulled back together. Each terrible memory being replaced with a smile or laugh of a very much alive person.

It was all too much for him to comprehend and yet it wasn't quite right.

He needed those brats back.

All of them.

He needed to find Eren.

When he turned 21 he moved out of home and into a shared apartment with Hange. His parents were less worried about him now that he was seeing his new psychiatrist, he had made leaps and bounds since then. He smiled more and laughed and after coming to terms with the terrifying memories he was able to lead a somewhat normal life. He still had nightmares and every now and then a particularly bad memory would come back but he was coping.

His parents did think he was living with a few friends and not a 33 year old woman who he'd known in a past life but nothing in his life was perfect. They lived in the same building as Isabel and Farlan as well as Petra and Oluo. Erwin lived in the same suburb in an apartment block close by with Eld and Gunther in another apartment a few floors down. They had made sure to live as close as possible to each other for support.

Levi was doing much better since he'd met them, life felt real again and he was finally coming to terms with the two lives inside his head. They had no leads on anyone from the 104th but Levi had hope that one day soon he would meet them all again and that maybe he and Eren might have a second chance at something.

But in the meantime he got on with things, he decided he wanted to go back to school and study and his parents were so thrilled they decided to pay for it. He went into teaching so that he could keep an eye on schools or universities for anyone he recognised and hopefully get to them before they spiralled like he had. It was why Erwin was a psychiatrist and Hange was a doctor, Petra and Oluo were nurses while Isabel and Farlan were in social services, Eld was a children's counsellor who moved around to different schools to help trouble kids and Gunther was a kindergarten teacher.

They all had some rough stories from when they were younger, Erwin's was the worst apart from his own. He didn't have anyone looking for him and his memories were almost as vivid as Levi's were. He had been thrown around through foster care and learnt early not to tell anyone about his past, he found a good group home when he was 12 and stayed until he was 17 before leaving and starting his search.

He had believed that he wasn't alone, believed so strongly that he couldn't be the only one here that he had dedicated his life to finding the rest. He found Hange first, by accident when he was 27 and she was 23, after he spilt his coffee on her on his way to the office. From then on they slowly found everyone else, Isabel was 16 when they found her living on the street a year later and Farlan was 19 when he was pulled into their orbit through one of Erwin's colleagues.

They picked up the other's one by one and each story made Levi feel a little better. Knowing that even though he had been alone not everyone had been through what he had and they were happy now. It gave him some hope for the future.

When he turned 22 he got his first tattoo.

The Scouting regiments emblem between his shoulder blades, he never let his parents see and none of his friends knew he had it either. Not until Hange spied it one day after barging in on him while he was in the shower. She stared at it for all of 30 seconds before silently pulling her shirt up and turning her body slightly so that Levi could see an identical tattoo on her ribs.

He learnt soon after that Erwin and all of his squad had the same tattoo on various parts of their bodies as well.

When he turned 23 he changed his name officially. He was finally Levi Ackerman again.

When he turned 24 he graduated from college and got his first job at a high school. He taught physical education to kids aged 12 to 18 and found that he loved it, he had always been in excellent physical condition and training kids now was actually enjoyable without the threat of death around every corner. 

He made sure to stay mobile, to circulate around as many schools as he could and even volunteer at local youth centres just in case. But he never found anyone, not even a trace of anyone from the 104th. 

When he was 25 they got their first clue. Erwin had heard things around his office about a young girl who insisted that the dreams she was having were real. Erwin had jumped on it saying he'd had previous experience with this kind of thing, that he still had a few patients under his care who were in the same position. 

They let Erwin in easily, being the known expert and having a very good record on these cases. 

Two days later Erwin was informed that the girls parents had been made aware of his interest and had made an appointment with him for the following Saturday.

That Saturday Levi sat with everyone else, his heart pounding in his chest waiting for Erwin to arrive. He didn't know who it was, the name they gave not the one he remembered, he just hoped it was someone he knew. Mikasa. Sasha. Historia. Ymir. 

He didn't mind which one, whoever it was it was a start.

The 104th were finally showing up after all this time.

Everyone was sitting around him chatting easily, excited over finding someone else but Levi was all nerves and worry. What if it wasn't someone from his squad? What if they didn't know him? What if they were more broken than he had been?

They waited for twenty minutes before they heard the telltale sound of footsteps. Strangely Levi heard excited chatter coming from the hall as well and felt his chest tighten. He recognised the voice, the tone. Had heard it many times over a lot of missions.

He stood up and took a hesitant step forward before the door even opened. The others started to smile as well having recognised the voice too, everyone except Farlan and Izzie who had died before they met her. The footsteps paused at the door and Levi could hear his heart in his ears.

With excruciating slowness the handle turned and finally opened to admit Sasha into the room. Her brown hair was long and wavy, pouring down her back almost too her waist. She wore skinny black jeans and a green tank top, a brown bag slung over her soldier and green chucks on her feet. She was smiling too, although her eyes looked watery at the recent revelations.

Her eyes locked onto Levi's first, she grinned and to Levi's great surprise she ran forward and threw herself on him.

"Captain!" she squeaked hugging him tight before letting go and stepping back.

"Braus" Levi sighed and she grinned.

"Been awhile since I heard that" she said softly and then looked Levi over, "you get shorter Captain?"

"Fuck off" Levi said with no heat and she smiled again.

"It's good to see you again Captain Levi" Sasha said quietly, "I hated the way it ended".

"Me too" Levi said feeling guilt for the first time, Sasha had survived to witness the rest of the fallout. She had to watch all of her friends die as well as Eren and then she would have heard the news about Levi too.

"I know you loved him" Sasha said softly but the natural cadence of her voice meant everyone heard her anyway, "I'm glad you got to be together at the end".

"Me too" Levi answered quietly and watched as she smiled sadly at him. Levi glanced up to see everyone watching them with curious expressions, No one knew that he and Eren had been together- for as short a time as it was- only Hange may have had some idea of how much Eren had meant to him. But they had all died before anything had happened, no one had seen the way Eren had changed Levi's life and made it better. No one except Sasha.

He knew she was smart and very perceptive although he was also sure they hadn't been all that discreet.

"Did you... were you..." Levi tried but Sasha just smiled.

"I was OK" she said shakily, "I had Connie and Jean and Historia".

"When did you?" Levi asked not sure if he wanted to know but had to anyway.

At that she looked a bit shifty, "Umm, well, actually not much later than you guys. It was rough for the four of us, we were the only ones left who had fought, people thought we were heroes and really we were just broken".

"I'm so sorry" Levi said softly but she just shook her head.

"It wasn't that bad" Sasha said, "the four of us took of us soon as everyone else was stable... Historia couldn't be Queen after everything with Ymir so she snuck away and came with us. We just kept going until we couldn't anymore, I got a bad virus and well, it wasn't long after that".

"Sasha..." Levi said feeling his stomach drop.

"It's fine" she said with a smile, "I had Connie, Jean and Historia there. It was peaceful and I was pretty happy to go... I'm sure you can understand that".

Levi just nodded and let her finish, "I made it to 30 and honestly I never thought I'd see the day... it's not the life I wanted but I coped".

"And now?" Levi asked fully aware of all the eyes on them.

"17 again" she said with a grin, "although you look much younger than I expected".

"25" Levi admitted and she grinned.

"It's strange... I know I'm Sasha, I have her life and her memories but I'm also Ellie. Slightly neurotic highschooler who somehow has two lives in her head... my parents know Ellie and I am her but I'm not quite her..." Sasha hesitated.

"You're not quite Sasha either" Levi finished with a nod.

"Yeah" she breathed out and Levi saw the relief at finally having someone who understood.

"You're in the right place, sweetie" Petra said walking over and getting Sasha's attention.

"She's right" Hange said with a grin and Sasha's eyes widened.

"Hange!" she exclaimed and threw herself on the other woman. Levi could only watch as she moved around the room, meeting those she didn't know and hugging those she did. She looked happy and Levi could feel a little more of the guilt he had ebb away. 

They had found her meaning they could find everyone else.

They could find Eren.

When Levi was 25 he met Sasha Braus again and not long after a few more cadets from the 104th came into their radius. Erwin had cultivated a bit of a reputation within the mental health industry and as soon as any parents made inquiries about psychiatrist's or anyone heard about kids having delusion's of past memories they went straight to Erwin.

Two months after they made contact with Sasha they got wind of a 17 year old boy named Ollie Ford. Ollie had had a mental break and been admitted to a psychiatric ward, he had apparently collapsed in class and started screaming about titans and war. He was admitted after going into shock and hadn't spoken to anyone since, the doctors said he kept scratching at his arms and legs as if he wasn't convinced they were there.

Erwin and Levi both went to see him, Levi had an idea who it was but he was nervous to find out. This one was going to be hard to see through. 

But as they both walked through the door to his room and the boy they knew as Marco Bodt looked up, Levi saw both genuine panic and unbelievable happiness there.

"Captain Levi? Commander Smith?" Marco whispered brokenly.

"We're here. You're real and I promise you, you're not crazy" Levi said softly as he came over to sit by Marco and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. Marco started crying messily and turned into Levi to sob against his shoulder.

"We've got you, Marco" Levi murmured and Marco cried harder at his long forgotten name.

When Levi was 26 they had pretty much set up a halfway house for recovering Scouts and soldiers.

Hange had found Connie by accident one day, the boy had come into the emergency room of the hospital she worked in with a deep gash on his forehead. He had seen her, blinked and then run over to hug her, blood running down his face. She had stitched him up and then called Erwin and Levi to go get Sasha and Marco and come over. 

The reunion had been one for the history books. Neither Levi or Erwin had told them who they'd found, they'd brought them up to the closed off room that Hange has set Connie up in for privacy and then opened the door and let them loose.

Sasha's eyes had widened and she'd almost flown over to hug him. Marco had been close behind with an easy grin to jump on the bed next to them and hug Connie as well. It was all laughter and excitement until Connie filled them in a little more on their past after Sasha had passed away. Apparently he had caught the virus not long after Sasha and the three of them had made their way back to the walls.

He hadn't made it but he said he hadn't minded. He died under bright blue sky outside the prison walls of the cities and he was going to be with everyone else.

Connie was the most stable of everyone they'd found, he'd gotten a few memories every now and then mostly important moments and faces from his past life. But more than that he had an unwavering belief they were real and that he'd meet everyone again one day, he was sure that he'd see Sasha again, that Eren and Armin would come back and that he'd be able to talk with Jean and Mikasa again.

Levi was just excited that they were finding them faster and faster. He had three of his back and he knew the rest were close by.

After Connie, Historia and Ymir came into their life in quick succession. They had apparently grown up together, both getting flashes of memories and having the other to confide in. When Ymir turned 18 and remembered everything she could they went out to find the others. Historia had come up with the idea of having a breakdown and making her 'delusions' a little more public just in case anyone was looking for them.

Erwin had swooped down on the two girls quickly and brought them into the fold. The five cadets of the 104th met up for the first time in Levi's apartment, Sasha and Connie were waiting there for Marco when they showed up. There was a lot of screaming and laughing and the five of them stayed up all night talking, Levi had sat himself on the lounge near them and was just happy to listen.

He was starting to get worried though, five of them had shown up but there was no news of Eren or Mikasa or Armin. Jean was still in the wind and he didn't even know if Annie or Bertolt or Reiner would come back and if they did he wasn't sure they would even try to contact them. Their crimes a little too hard to overcome.

When Levi turned 27 he had a good feeling. He knew something good was going to happen that year.

It first came in the form of Isabel and Farlan's third kid, a little girl named Rosie, who brought a stream of light into their life. Levi loved her. She was all sunshine and laughter and only ever stopped screaming when she was in Levi's arms. Isabel said he was her favourite and Levi loved agreeing with her.

It then followed through with them finding Jean. He was 19 and angry and locked in a juvenile detention centre out of state. They had heard about him through a friend of Erwin's, she had approached him about a kid she'd been talking with whose roommate mentioned the nightmares he had. Waking up in the middle of the night screaming lists of names of unknown people.

Erwin had been allowed permission to meet with him and as soon as he stepped through the kids door he saw the relief on his face. Jean had jumped up and saluted with glassy eyes.

"It's good to see you again, Commander Smith" Jean had said and Erwin had simply saluted in return.

"We're bringing you home, Kirstein" Erwin said.

After Jean Levi knew they were closing in, he had six of his squad back and the only ones left were Armin, Mikasa and Eren. The six of them were living in apartments close by the rest of them, Historia and Ymir sharing a small one bedroom and going to the city university having moved there permanently. Jean and Marco were rooming together in a nice two bedroom place next door while working and getting themselves back together. Connie and Sasha had moved into another two bedroom but were very public about the fact they were together, they said they'd wasted too much time already.

It was a cold winter morning when Levi got the call. He had been teaching a class at Turner High on self defence when Hange's ringtone went off in his pocket, he answered it to the eye-rolls and glares of his students.

"I'm in class" he said abruptly.

"I know but Levi" she said sounding excited, "I found Armin".

Levi almost dropped his phone, his free hand covering his mouth as he gasped, "You found Armin?"

He could hear his class quiet behind him so they could eavesdrop.

"Yeah, I got new interns today and he was just there drowning in his little white coat and looking very grown up" Hange chattered.

"Any new on Eren?" Levi asked and he knew his voice shook at the question.

"I'm sorry, Levi, no" Hange said, "he's been alone until now, he's happy and quite the little genius but he's never met anyone else until today".

"Oh" Levi said knowing he sounded disappointed.

"We'll find him, Levi" Hange said bracingly, "we've found everyone else, we'll find him too".

"We'll find him" Levi repeated trying to convince himself.

"I'm bringing Armin with me tonight for dinner so spread the word and get everyone else over" Hange said.

"I'll let them know" Levi said, "and Hange? Tell Arlert I'm glad he's OK".

"Will do" she said cheerily and then hung up. Levi turned back to his class who were staring at him wide eyed and slightly surprised. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair getting ready to explain himself knowing they wouldn't stop asking questions.

"I've been out of contact with a lot of people from, uh, a long time ago. My friend just found one of them" Levi said quickly, "now back into-"

"Who's Eren, sir?" a girl piped up loudly.

"A friend" Levi said and then sighed, "he's missing. Now please back to the lesson".

"You have a missing friend?" another girl asked.

"I do" Levi said and before they could say another word he glared them down, "back to the lesson".

Armin was brought in quickly and surrounded by all of his friends and family but it still wasn't quite right, they were still missing two very important people. Armin had walked in to meet everyone and Levi had seen the disappointment very present on his face when he didn't see Eren or Mikasa but Levi held out hope they were close.

Just before Levi turned 28 he was hired to teach an advanced Martial Arts class at a local youth centre.

He was there early to set up and was informed there were about 15 students who showed up regularly, they began to peter in 10 minutes before class and Levi made eye contact with each person and nod in greeting. He had 14 kids there and ready to go when the door opened one last time and he turned to glare at the late comer.

He froze when he saw her face.

She was dressed in a tight red gym top and shorts, her hair was long and pulled on top of her head in a pony tail. She dropped her gym bag when she saw him, her mouth falling open in utter shock. Levi took one step forward and it seemed to spur her into movement, she ran forward and threw her arms around him in a quick but tight hug. 

"Eren?" she asked and Levi shook his head knowing exactly how she felt.

"Not yet" Levi said fully aware of everyone's eyes on them, "but we have nearly everyone else".

"You have Armin?" she asked as her eyes glassed over and tears fell.

"Yeah, we do" Levi said softly, "he's OK, everyone's OK".

"Thank god" she whispered and then just fell to the ground in a puddle and started crying, Levi followed her down and rested his hand on her shoulder.

"It's over now" Levi murmured, "everyone's happy and alive, there all here and waiting on you".

"And Eren" Mikasa said quietly.

"And Eren, he's the only one we're missing now" Levi murmured back.

"Can I see them? I need to see them" Mikasa said and Levi nodded, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

"Hange?" Levi said as she picked up on the other end.

"Yeah, shorty, what's up?" Hange asked.

"I found Mikasa" Levi said and heard her gasp on the other side and then scream, 'Levi's got Mikasa!'

"We're coming to you now" Levi said firmly and stood up helping Mikasa up with him, "be there soon".

"I'll call everyone" Hange said excitedly and hung up.

"Class is cancelled" Levi said loudly, "we'll organise a redo, it's an emergency".

And then he and Mikasa were walking out of the room towards his car. They drove home in silence with Mikasa alternating between fidgeting her hands in her lap and staring out of the window with a smile.

They were all waiting for them outside as they pulled up and Levi heard Mikasa gasp at the sight, tears falling again at knowing they were real. Armin sprinted over and pulled her door open before crushing her in a hug and joining her in crying. She hugged him back tightly until Levi heard Armin whisper, "we'll find him".

"I know" Mikasa agreed and Levi felt his heart tug at the strength of their relationship. 

They wanted to see Eren just as much as he did.

When Levi turned 28 he accepted a part time job at a local high school.

It was a rough neighbourhood and they needed a good teacher for a whole semester. It had been three months since they found Mikasa and everyone was feeling the pressure of not having Eren with them yet.

There was nothing on him. Erwin hadn't heard anything, Eren hadn't been sighted and there were no one matching his description in the system. He was a ghost and Levi was starting to feel like maybe he wasn't going to show up at all. They had everyone with them but what if something had happened to Eren? What if he had died or been injured? What if he wasn't even in the same country?

Levi had been searching for Eren for nearly his whole life but he still wasn't any closer.

Every day he saw Mikasa and Armin, he saw Hange and Erwin and all the 104th, even Farlan and Isabel were here. But they still had nothing on Eren. It was making him anxious the more days that past with no news, every time his phone rang he went for it hoping it was someone telling him they'd found him.

His first day at his new school was going smoothly, he had gone through his morning classes with no issues and his students seemed to like him and maybe even respect him. It was at the end of break when his heart started to beat a little fast without reason, he thought maybe he'd just had a little too much coffee that morning and brushed it off. It continued to pound as he grabbed his bags and mug and made his way into his classroom.

He was doing a theory lesson today and it never ended well, students never liked the theory part of physical education and he had a hard time making it interesting. His heart pounded a little harder and Levi frowned as he put his coffee mug down on the bench and vowed not to pick it up again. The first of his students began to filter in soon after and he made sure to acknowledge each of them.

After everyone was seat he picked up the roll and started marking off names.

"Nikolas Hunter?" Levi called out and got silence.

"Hunter?" Levi repeated with a sigh, "Nikolas Hunter?"

"He was here this morning" a mousy brown haired girl said with a shrug.

"Excellent" Levi sighed and went to mark off the boys name as a truant. It was then his heart pounded and he dropped the clipboard in surprise, his hand gripping at his chest and his mouth falling open slightly.

"I'm here! I'm here! I'm-" 

The voice ran through him like a tidal wave and he froze. He felt tears fill his eyes and his hand went over his mouth instead, his heart pounded louder as the voice he'd been thinking of since he was small resonated through him.

"You're not real..." the voice whispered and Levi felt the tears escape his eyes because he wasn't dreaming. He moved slowly, standing up straight and turning inch by inch until he finally faced him. 

He was just as beautiful as he remembered.

Brilliant green eyes and golden brown hair, a green Henly stretch over his shoulders and blue jeans tucked into black boots. His face was exactly as he remembered but it was missing the pain he'd always known there, he looked warm and happy except for the floods of tears now running down his face. Levi couldn't help but just stand and stare at him, take in the curve of his neck and the pink of his lips and the freckles on his nose.

He was perfect and he was finally here.

"Eren..." Levi whispered and as if his words broke a trance Eren shuddered and hiccuped a great sob before stumbling forward and throwing himself on Levi, hard enough to push them both to the ground. Eren's arms wound around him tightly like he'd never let go and Levi did the same, his arms finally holding his green eyed boy. 

"I missed you" Eren murmured his voice shaking badly.

"I love you" Levi said softly gripping Eren tighter and rolling them over so he could see Eren's face. 

And then he kissed him. Leaning in and kissing him harder than ever, trying to make up for every second they had lost. Eren took a moment longer but soon he was kissing Levi back, forgetting about the entire classroom that was watching them.

They were interrupted when they heard a pretty loud cough and Levi turned to look up seeing the principal there. His face flushed red and he rolled off Eren and sat up pulling Eren with him and making sure to keep the contact between them. He wasn't letting Eren go now for anything.

"Mr Ackerman?" the principal asked, equal parts shock and embarrassment.

But Levi could barely take his eyes off Eren long enough to address the man. Their hands were twined together and Eren was leaning into him, trying to close all the space between them and thoroughly distracting Levi. 

"It's not what it looks like" Levi tried and turned his head to look at Eren who seemed completely unaware of their surroundings and proceeded to kiss his cheek.

The principal raised his eyebrow at them.

"Fine, it's exactly what it looks like" Levi said as he felt Eren's lips on his cheek again.

"Can we go?" Eren whispered in his ear and Levi's face went bright red.

"Time for us to go" Levi said quickly, standing up and helping Eren to his feet. Eren wound his arm around Levi and made sure there was as little space as possible between them.

"You can't just leave! Mr Hunter is a student here and you are his teacher!" the principal burst out.

"It's OK, I'm 18" Eren said with a grin and then proceeded to pull Levi out of the classroom with him, leaving the entire class a slack jawed mess behind them.

"I'm going to be on the news" Levi muttered and Eren laughed. Levi looked over and smiled, it had been too long since he'd heard that laugh and now that he finally had Eren back he couldn't wait to hear it every single day. They all but ran to Levi's car, letting go only long enough to get inside and then clasping their hands together once more. 

"Did I tell you I love you?" Levi said softly and Eren grinned.

"Yes but say it again" Eren murmured.

"I love you".

"I love you too".

"I missed you so much... you've no idea" Levi admitted quietly and Eren leaned in and captured his lips in another kiss.

"I have some idea" he replied and kissed Levi again. 

He couldn't believe they were finally here, that Eren was in his arms after so long. They were finally together and Levi was never letting them get torn apart ever again.

When Levi was 28 he finally found his green eyed boy from his dreams. He finally got to kiss his lips and touch his face and breathe in his familiar smell.

And it was better then he had ever imagined.

It took them a long time to leave the school parking lot, not able to stop touching the other and proving that this was real and not some horrible nightmare. Levi couldn't focus as he drove back to his apartment, his eyes on Eren and not the road but the managed to make it back in one piece. He sent out a group message and told them to meet at his place and then turned back to Eren who was watching him.

"I can't believe you're really here" Eren whispered.

"I can't believe I finally found you" Levi said.

"I've thought about this moment for years... I knew you were real, everyone thought I was crazy but I knew" Eren said fiercely and Levi leaned in and kissed him deeply.

"I'm here and I'm never going away again" Levi promised.

"Thank you" Eren whispered his voice shaking, "thank you for finding me".

"Always" Levi promised.

They finally made their way up to Levi's apartment with their hands locked together. Levi heard the voices inside and smiled to himself, everyone must be there by now. He put his hand on the door and started to turn the handle before looking to Eren again.

"Just breathe, this is going to be big" Levi warned him, Eren looked a little panicked but nodded and steeled himself as Levi pushed the door open.

Everyone was waiting for them although they weren't sure what they were waiting for. When they caught sight of Eren's face there was a collective gasp around the room and movement from the right side. Before Levi could brace himself Mikasa and Armin had run over and thrown themselves on Eren and seeing as their hands were still together, knocked both of them to the ground.

It was the warmest welcome anyone had gotten. Besides missing Annie, Bert and Reiner (who they weren't sure they even wanted to see) they had mostly everyone back together, safe and sound.

Erwin and Hange left and came back carrying mountains of alcohol to loud applause. Isabel and Petra called babysitters for their kids and then it was time to celebrate. They all sat in Levi's living room crowded on chairs and squished on the floor not minding the small space in the slightest. And one by one they recounted their stories for Eren, from growing up to being found and then moving into the city.

Eren listened intensely to everyone with Mikasa attached to one side and Levi to his other. Neither one of them planning to let go of him soon. 

Levi was the last to go but when everyone looked to him he just shook his head, he had only ever given an abbreviated version of his life, they had all seen the scars on his wrists and knew what had happened but it was an unspoken promise never to ask. They would wait for Levi to tell.

He knew why he never told though, he was waiting for Eren. His entire life revolved around him and he needed to tell him first.

"I'll tell you later" Levi said softly and Eren just nodded and squeezed his hand.

It was late by the time everyone started to move out, leaving Levi alone with Eren. Finally. Mikasa was hard to move but at the looks between Levi and Eren she got the hint, kissed her adoptive brother on the side of his head and left with Armin.

Levi stood up and pulled Eren with him towards his room. They didn't bother changing just dropping onto Levi's bed and curling up together, Eren's head resting on Levi's chest. It made Levi remember the last time they'd been like this, they'd had less clothes on and were waking up slowly. Eren had snuggled his head into Levi's chest and told him he loved him. Levi had kissed Eren softly and said the same.

And then they had gotten up and gotten dressed and Eren had surrendered himself to the military.

Today was going to end differently though.

"Do you remember the last time we were like this?" Eren whispered and Levi smiled.

"Of course... first time you told me you loved me" Levi replied.

"I meant it" Eren said firmly.

"Me too" Levi agreed.

"What happened to you?" Eren asked quietly.

"It's a long story" Levi answered honestly.

"We have time" Eren said and leaned up to kiss Levi once more before settling down and closing his eyes.

"Yeah... we do".

When he turned 29 his boyfriend agreed to move in with him.

Eren had been rooming with Mikasa and Armin for the last 6 months after finishing school and starting college. His parents were aware he had an older boyfriend and were surprisingly OK with it, Eren was yet to meet Levi's parents but they had all the time in the world to get there.

Eren started college wanting to study art and Levi supported him entirely, Eren would pay rent when he could but they were a family and they looked after each other. They still had their rough days where Levi would wake up screaming thinking it wasn't real or Eren would freak out for an entire day and call Levi non stop because he was worried he'd disappear.

But they were coping and getting through it together.

Levi had never been happier than he had in the last year with Eren, he finally felt his stomach settle and the weight lift off his shoulders. There were long conversation that were had and endless nights of talking that devolved fairly quickly into making out and going back to Levi's room. They were still working things out between their old lives and their current ones and trying to figure out where they fit.

There was a lot of guilt between them as well which didn't go away overnight. A lot of memories and pain that may never disappear entirely but having each other close helped. 

When he turned 30 he finally proposed to Eren.

He had taken Eren down to the ocean and gotten down on one knee. Eren had grinned and laughed and called him a sap before jumping on him and demanding the ring and kissing him until the sun went down.

When he turned 31 he got married. Twice.

The first wedding was in front of all of their family and friends with the names they were given in this life. It was in a beautiful botanical garden with lines of white chairs and everyone they knew and loved surrounding them. Everyone from their past made sure they said the right names or they were sure either Levi or Eren's parents would overhear and know.

But in the end it was perfect and by 11 o'clock they left the reception and drove out towards the beach.

Cars followed them down and they sat in the parking lot as their closest friends wandered past them down to the beach. Isabel and Farlan carrying a kid each with Jamie wandering along behind them, Petra holding her youngest while Oluo walked with their eldest.

Hange was talking brightly with Erwin as they followed the others happy just to be with everyone. Eld and Gunther were carrying a huge esky between them and laughing loudly at some shared joke. Connie was guiding a very pregnant Sasha through the sand, the girl laughing every time he fussed over her falling. Ymir had her arm wrapped protecitvely around Historia as they walked through the sand both with bright smiles on their faces.

Jean and Marco walked hand in hand towards the ocean sharing soft smiles and quiet laughter. And Mikasa and Armin followed last, silent and happy as they took in the ocean.

"We made it" Eren said as he looked out at all of their friends.

"I'm still not sure this isn't a dream" Levi said softly and Eren laughed.

They walked down the beach following the footsteps of their friends with their hands twined together and their rings glinting in the moonlight. They heard cheers and catcalls when they were finally spotted and Eren laughed and pumped a fist in the air.

Erwin stood at the front with them while everyone else gathered around. They had wanted to get married under their real names and this was the only way they had wanted to do it.

Erwin married them on the beach Levi had proposed on and finally Levi could breathe easy. They had made it further than he ever thought possible and after this anything that he got would be more than he expected. Eren was smiling wider than he'd ever seen and they never once let go of each other, not while walking down the aisle or saying their vows, not during their kiss or Erwin's speech and definitely not when Erwin had pronounced them husband and husband.

They spent the rest of their night on the sand watching as one by one their friends drifted off home.

Until finally it was just them and the ocean.

"I love you, Levi" Eren whispered, resting his head on Levi's shoulder.

"I love you too" Levi replied softly.

"This life was worth it" Eren said after a moment, "all the pain and anger from before? I think we appreciate this more because of it... I know how lucky I am".

"Maybe next time it will be even better" Levi said with a grin and Eren turned to face him.

"Next time?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah... I don't know about you but I'm hoping that I meet you a little earlier next time" Levi said, "28 years is a long time to wait for the one".

"I'm the one?" Eren asked softly and Levi just answered him with a kiss.

"Here's to finding you in the next life" Levi said while raising his flute of champagne.

"And in every life after that" Eren promised and tapped their glasses together.

And when Levi turned 83 and Eren was still sleeping soundly beside him he knew for sure he was the luckiest goddamn person on the planet.