Chapter 1: Queen of the Shits
Chapter Text
Lucas Friar is a jerk. An inconsiderate, hurtful, hulking huge mass of a jerk. Too bad that he was also Riley Matthews' boyfriend, but apparently not for long. It was the end of September, in the first hours of the day after Maya's birthday. The gang stole their parents' favorite liquor and had an late night gathering at Topanga's. Sure, Riley swiped the keys to the restaurant from her mother in order to throw it but Maya could only turn 18 once.
It was at her party that the couple made their big scene, complete with yelling and crying, all in front of their friends. Riley and Lucas have been dating since freshman year and they have never argued they way they did tonight. The weather was still warm but the girl held herself together with frail arms. Her best friend, Farkle Minkus followed behind and put a third arm around her, as she was starting to teeter on her tall shoes.
Sloppily, Riley's arm hung on Farkle as her voice cracked, "Farkleeeee..."
"Rileyyyy..." He said back.
"I don't get - I don't get how people don't understand... if they want to be with someone? Like, you say you like me, OK, cool, then just like me! Be with me forever and let me have your babies! Right? I mean, right?!"
"Mhmm." Farkle nodded.
"Like, if you say you want to be together forever, then that - that's the shit you need to mean!" Only when Riley was really upset did she curse.
Lucas telling her that they might not be together forever - and he was OK with that - sent her over the edge. It was so bad that Riley ended the party early. Lucas grudgingly asked his girlfriend if she wanted to come back to his place to talk, but she just took off in the opposite direction. Literally running. To make sure she got home safe, Farkle jogged after her, reassuring his friend that he would fix this. However, when they got to Riley's bay window it was locked. The only other option was to go through the front door but Auggie and her father both had this habit of falling asleep in front of the television. Her gangly limbs were even worse with alcohol and she would definitely wake someone up, so she decided to go to sleep it off at Farkle's.
Riley leaned against her friend with her eyes closed as he tried to open the door to the building his family owned. The glass door opened and Riley almost fell in but Farkle caught her against his chest. Riley started to cackle uncontrollably and the laughter became contagious. Farkle and Riley collapsed into the elevator, bodies still pressed like glue. Her giggles subsided in the crook of his neck. Slowly she drifted into a doze, until the elevator reached Farkle's bedroom.
The Minkus family downsized with assets but Stuart just couldn't part with his dream castle, the thing that he built his whole soul into. This thing that he planned for the whole legacy of Minkus to be buried in. He was in the process of designing the blueprints of the plots. Riley spun around, making herself even more dizzy. Then, she dropped onto Farkle's bed. When she looked up, her buzzed, spinning vision made the hundreds of stars on the ceiling into thousands.
"I forgot about the planetarium." She hummed. "Pluto's still here, right?"
The boy sighed, taking off his sneakers and laying beside her. "Yeah. Pluto never left."
"Good." There were a few moments of shared silence until, Riley asked, "Do you think Lucas was right, Farkle? I mean, really right? Nothing is built to last?"
"Well, 'nothing' can't last forever because nothing doesn't exist, therefore it can't 'last'. The only logical answer to this question is that as humans, we will never know the answer to this eternal question. Yeah, it's a mind-fuck."
"You think you and Smackle'll last forever? Or at least, get married and have Sminkii?" Farkle's girlfriend, Smackle, was invited to the festivities but didn't come because she had an exam the next morning.
Farkle made a dry chuckle, "We could. Anything could happen."
"Yeah..." Suddenly, Riley sat up, thinking harder.
Farkle joined her, "What is it?"
"Anything could happen, meaning that Lucas and I could break up and all of this will have been for nothing - "
"I wouldn't say 'nothing' - "
"Farkle, why doesn't he just do it now, then? Just rip the band-aid off! Bite off my head, so I don't feel it so much! Why doesn't he just break up with me now, instead of waiting until the year's over?"
"Lucas doesn't want to break up with you, Riley. At all. I think he's just... What I think he meant is that the only constant is change, right? So, no, you and Lucas may not be together 'forever' but that'll be OK with him because he got to know you. He got to love you and that... made him the luckiest man on earth. In the universe." Lucas definitely did not say that but if Farkle was in his shoes, that's definitely how he'd feel.
"But, if that's how he feels then... What could change that could make him not love me anymore? Why do people stop loving other people, Farkle?" Riley's eyes began to brim with tears.
"I don't know, Riley." Farkle shook his head, before helping his friend dry her eyes with his thumbs. "But, I know that Maya and I... We'll never stop loving you because to us, there is not one thing about you that's unlovable."
Touched, Riley sniffled and smiled, looping her arms around her best friend in a loving embrace. "Farkle... you always know what to say."
After loosening the hug, Riley put her soft lips on Farkle's cheek. Maya, Riley and Farkle have all pecked each other on the cheek before, no biggie. Yet, Riley didn't pull away, right away, like she did all those times before. She kept her grip on the boy and gazed into him. Farkle Minkus had stopped being that little, awkward and silly genius he was in middle school. He grew into a mature and strapping young man. Girls would vie for his attention all the time, especially when they learned that his girlfriend no longer attended Abigail Adams, in favor of Einstein Academy. Of course, all of this went over Farkle's head but Riley noticed it, secretly when she had a moment from Lucas. She would fantasize about what it would be like to kiss him, for real.
Riley and Farkle stared at their lips the same way they would gave into each other's eyes: connecting, longing. Scared but eager, Riley went in for a peck on his mouth. A lot less innocent than the cheek. Then, she went back in and Farkle got the breath to kiss her back. Again and again, the kisses became longer and longer and more intense each time. Suddenly, Farkle had his hands knotted in brown hair, helping him gain entrance to taste Riley's delicious tongue once more. Riley was backing away, leading her best friend farther up the bed. Breaking apart only for a second, Riley's shirt went over her head. Feeling his fingertips on her skin made her imagine the feeling of lightening through her veins. Then, her hands went to his belt-buckle and Farkle assisted her, undoing the loops.
And, the rest was kind of a blur.
The next morning, Farkle woke up alone. There was an imprint in his bed, next to him but he still had to figure out if what happened last night was a dream or not. Looking down at himself with no clothes and feeling fresh scrapes on his back, Farkle concluded that it was true: he had sex with Riley. He wanted to sift through all of his feelings about it and that he cheated on Smackle but there was no time. He was going to be late for school.
The slamming of numerous lockers resounded in Riley's head. 90% of her really didn't want to go to school that Monday, but she'd rather just drag her ass from class to class rather than explain to her mother she had a headache from drinking her Grey Goose. Also, there was Farkle. When she woke up in his bed, Riley didn't know what else to do but get the hell out of there. Farkle was going to come to school and she was going to have to deal with it sooner than later. What was she going to say? What did he want to say? But should that even matter? They were both in long-term relationships with two great people. One of which, was approaching her as she was gazing blankly into her locker.
"Hey." Lucas greeted her with an unsure grin. Riley internally groaned. Of course he still looked good after drinking all night.
"Hi."
"I tried calling you."
"I know." While Farkle and Riley were just making out, her phone kept vibrating in her jeans that ended up on Farkle's floor.
"So... last night? I'm sorry."
"Lucas - " Even if he was wrong, Riley didn't want him to apologize because what she did was infinity-times worse. To Riley, Lucas should never have to apologize for anything, ever again.
"No, Riley... what I meant by what I said was that, things change and people change but I'm gonna make sure that you and I? We change together, OK? I want to grow with you, not away from you. Everything around us can fall apart, I'd be OK with that because we're going to be standing."
"Lucas..." It's official, Riley thought. I am a piece of shit.
"I love you." The biggest, stinkiest piece of shit.
Riley's boyfriend pulled her in for a bear-hug. She returned, trying not cry, "Love you, too." Queen of the Shits!
Thank God for Zay, he came toward them with Maya on his back. She was still passed out from the night before. "Hey, ya'll doing OK, now?" Zay asked.
"Yeah, we're good." Lucas answered, putting his hand in Riley's. She smiled weakly. "But it's nice to see this one was able to make it to school today!" Lucas teased Maya, petting her hair. She blew a raspberry, spitting on Zay's nice shirt.
"18, 18, 18..." The boys from Texas began to take up the same chant they did the night before, when Maya was chugging bottles. Zay bounced the sick girl up and down playfully, until it looked like she was going to vomit over his shoulder.
"OK, OK. No more of that. That's over." Zay announced, as Maya winced and groaned pathetically. The bell rung for first period and the four made their goodbyes. Lucas and Zay did a handshake, then Lucas pinched Maya's cheek before Zay carried her to the class they had together. Sighing, Lucas turned to Riley and gave her an sweet kiss.
"See you at lunch?" He whispered.
"Until lunch." The sentence ended with another kiss and Lucas sped off down the hall.
Riley was ready to go to her AP History class, until she remembered that it was a class she shared with Farkle. Already in the doorway, his blue eyes wandered up at her and she felt the earth slide out from underneath her feet. Riley carefully made steps to her assigned seat, in front of Farkle. Out of nowhere, snippets from their night together replayed in her mind: his warm, wet lips kissing from the nape of her neck all the way down her spine, the way she rode him into his big mattress and leaned down to count the fireworks in his eyes while kissing him...
"Riley!" Her history teacher and father, snapped her out of her thoughts. "Would you like to share?"
"What?"
"The note on your desk." Riley was so distracted that she didn't even realize when the piece of paper arrived. Her fingers shook a little while opening it and the words made her gulp. "What does it say?"
Riley cleared her throat before fibbing, "It says my hair looks nice." Then, she ripped the note into confetti and threw it into the air. "Whoo!"
Mr. Matthews looked to Farkle, confused and disappointed, "Farkle, you risked detention to tell my daughter her hair looks nice? Which is a lie, by the way. It looks like she's been in the woods and mauled by the same wolves that raised her."
Quickly, Riley glimpsed back to Farkle. Then he told the teacher, "Yes. Her hair always looks beautiful and I just wanted her to know."
Hopelessly sighing, Mr. Matthews shook his head, "OK. Detention, Minkus."
Riley was feeling secure for the first time that day. Maybe Farkle wanted to let it go, too. Suddenly, he leaned in slightly, making her freeze with the touch of his hand to her elbow.
He said just loud enough that she could hear, "We need to talk."
Shit.
Chapter Text
Farkle despised nothing more than being treated like he was stupid. It was no secret that he was a very intelligent guy. He ran numerous science and math clubs at Abigail Adams High School, was recognized by MENSA and was in the top 1% of his class. All this and yet, Riley insisted upon dealing with him, like he was an idiot.
For weeks after Maya's after-hours party and the sex, Farkle desperately tried to get a hold of Riley. He attempted to speak with her after AP History - the morning after - but she ran away and she kept running away. She ignored all of his texts, no matter how many exclamation points he put. The bay window was newly locked down. Worst of all, when they were with the group, Riley acted as if Farkle was a ghost. She never spoke to him directly or even made eye contact, but his spirit had an effect on her, making goosebumps rise within her skin every time he made the slightest noise. It was extremely frustrating that he couldn't tell any of his friends what was going on because they'd all hate him. Farkle could understand that because, he was honestly starting to hate himself, too.
Smackle was a great girlfriend. OK, there were some things that Farkle wasn't crazy about, (he could do without the incessant flirting with other more conventionally attractive guys) but they didn't matter because he knew all of the little quirks and idiosyncrasies added up to a wonderful being named Isadora. He knew she wasn't perfect but it seemed there was no other girl in the world for Farkle. That is, when he thought - he swore - Riley wasn't interested.
Even with his romantic feelings for Smackle, imagining what it would be like to be Riley's boyfriend never left Farkle's expansive mind. Knowing her for all his life and being best friends with her actual boyfriend, Farkle didn't have to imagine much. It didn't take science to know that it'd be blissful. However, Riley only saw him as a friend. Farkle didn't think there was anyone on the nine planets who would get him more than her, so he closed himself off to love, until Smackle, who he was wholly committed to. Yet...
The fact of the matter was, it was tearing the genius apart inside and somehow, Riley just carried on like nothing was happening. It was so confounding to Farkle and so out of character for Riley, that both of them were becoming worn out. Answers were needed, immediately.
On Friday afternoon, Farkle preyed on Riley's bay window. He left school early, to ensure that no one he knew would see him lurking around. He was perched for an hour at her window sill, before the tall brunette came into her bedroom, throwing her backpack on her bed. Before entering, Farkle waited to see if Lucas or Maya was going to come in behind her. When he was almost sure she was alone, he hastily lifted up the window from the outside, climbing in.
Riley gasped in frightened surprise and almost screamed about a burglar, but even more horrid, it was Farkle. "Farkle! What are you doing?!"
"You left me no choice!" He shut and locked the window and pulled the curtains, making New York give them privacy. "You won't talk to me!"
"Because, there's nothing to talk about!" Riley responded, frustratingly.
"Riley, this is driving me crazy and what's worse is that - it's like for you it didn't even happen."
"Everything is normal, Farkle." Her voice rung with a hollow harshness. "I'm with Lucas, you are with Smackle. Everything is the way it's supposed to be - "
"Riley, don't treat me like I don't know you!" Farkle shot. "OK? Just... don't, because this isn't easy for me, either. I just need to know what's going on. "
The girl swallowed the saliva in her mouth and tried to hold back tears, slowly shaking her head. "What's going on," Riley tried to steady her quaking voice. "Is that we are forgetting that night. It is going to be erased from our history, all right?"
"That can't happen, Riley."
"Why not?" Riley asked, miserable. "I was drunk!"
"You weren't that drunk."
Although, Farkle did have a few drinks, he was practically acting babysitter. He watched everyone's intake and, after calculating the amount of alcohol ingested with Riley's weight and height, Farkle concluded that she was most likely buzzed but definitely not full-blown intoxicated. There was a scene at Junior Prom featuring a bottle of Hennessy and Riley, trying to reenact an I Love Lucy episode. The appetizers and food suffered a great blow but anyway, that was Drunk Riley, not whatever happened after Maya's party.
"Farkle, why can't you stop thinking and let this go?!"
"Because I - I feel something about that night. Something that I can't just forget and... I know you can't either. You wouldn't avoid me over something that you could just brush off."
"I'm not - " Before she denied anything, Farkle gave her a staunch warning with his glare. "Well, what do you want me say, Farkle?!" She tragically threw her hands in the air.
"God, the truth, Riley! Can you do that? Can you just be honest with me?" Both were taken aback, as Farkle never yelled at Riley before.
"The truth?" She whispered after letting a few moments pass. "What, that I haven't been sleeping ever since it happened? That every time that I'm with Lucas, I think about you and how unfair it is to him? That it hurts not being able to talk to you and - " Unable to stop herself from crying, Riley wiped her face with the backs of her hands. She's been holding it in for so long, Riley was inconsolable. "That it hurts even more... knowing that I want to do it again." Riley looked down, ashamed before covering her face to sob more.
Farkle let the revelation wash over him, taking one step towards her. Suddenly, she sunk down to her bed, gripping and massaging her soft quilt to calm down.
"You... want to do it again?" He repeated in a small voice.
Riley sniffled deeply and then annoyed, "Yes, Farkle. I liked it, OK?" She quickly popped back on her feet to meet his eyes. "Is that what you wanted? That's what you wanted to hear, right?"
"Riley..." He wagged his head, not knowing what to do next. The only thing Farkle knew at this moment, was what he felt. Slowly, Farkle turned his back to Riley, so he could go to her bedroom door. He locked it with a tiny click.
"Farkle, what are you doing?"
"You... you were a bit inebriated that night." He carefully began to explain, once again moving towards her with his hands in his back-pockets. "I mean, sometimes, psychologically, the smallest dosage of any type of stimulant or depressant can make a person think that they're radically high. So... Maybe the drinking made you feel drunk and you just wanted to make a bad decision, so you'd have something to blame it on."
Looking into his eyes, Riley whispered, "Sassy Halter-top."
"So, now, that were both of sound mind and body, how do you feel?" They were so close, Riley was becoming drugged by the spearmint smell of his breath. His eyes looked so blue and endless but perhaps, that was because she was falling into Farkle. His hands held Riley by the small of her back. She initiated an open-mouthed kiss that made Farkle's knees buckle. Gaining strength, he walked her backwards into her bed and they fell together, becoming a mess of limbs.
Farkle laid in between Riley's legs, attacking her with neck smooches. Being in a sexual relationship with Smackle, he learned that making love was also, just science. Knowing the other's body well enough to realize what they'll respond to. Where to put their hands, how to kiss what, how touch where. It was all business with his girlfriend but with Riley and all of his pent-up feelings, it was strictly passion. He had to stop himself from leaving marks on her.
But then, suddenly, somehow, Farkle overlooked something very, very important. He then rose up to his knees, and Riley frowned feeling cold and lonely. "Wait, Riley, we didn't - I didn't use anything when we - "
Realizing what his worry was, Riley giggled slightly, "I'm on birth control, Farkle." Being in a sexual relationship with Lucas, Riley unwillingly asked her mother to put her on the pill. Mr. Matthews kicked and screamed about it, but Mrs. Matthews accepted the request. Except, now, Lucas was never to step foot in their home again. At least, not while Cory was around.
Riley pulled Farkle back down by his shirt of the Periodic Table and they experimented for a spell. When they were finished, they rested next to each other in her bed, speechless. Underneath the covers, Riley let her smooth leg hang languorously over Farkle's hairy one. His arm absently sat behind her, letting his index finger make spheres on her shoulder.
"Riley..." He breathed her name like a secret. She looked at him, attentive. "What are we gonna do?"
Their designated meeting spot was Farkle's house because his parents were always on business trips. Only the staff hung around and they all loved Farkle so they wouldn't tell on him. Riley's house became a no-go because after their first time hooking up there, they heard the door open and in a panic, she pushed Farkle's naked butt onto her floor.
Things were going pretty OK, considering Farkle breaking his own moral code and Riley being unable to sleep (unless she was with Farkle) and the minor slip-ups that would happen, occasionally. One time, the six of them were at Topanga's before school. Zay was telling a funny story while Riley and Farkle were sitting across from each other. Lucas had his arm around Riley and Smackle was holding her beloved Farkle's hand. The climax of the story came and everyone laughed. Farkle paid special attention to Riley, never wanting to miss a chance to see her smile. But, there was some cream on the side of her lip, from the hot chocolate.
As the laughter died down, Farkle said, "Riley. You got something on your lip, Babe." He motioned to the side of his own mouth with a finger. Embarrassed, Riley cleaned the whipped cream with a napkin.
It seemed harmless, until Maya pointed out, amused as hell, "Farkle, did you just call Riley, 'Babe'?" All eyes were on the cheaters.
Farkle didn't call Riley or Maya pet names anymore because it was inappropriate while he had a girlfriend. Anyway, the names would be very jokingly misogynistic, like when he called them 'Woman' or Mamacita'. However, Farkle had never called either of them Babe. Babe was a term between two people who were clearly involved. In sheer horror of his mistake, Riley made all of her summer acting classes worth it and did a stage fall from her chair.
"Oh, wow, I fell!" Riley announced, stiff and unconvincing.
"Oh my God, Riley! Are you OK? That looked bad!" Farkle added, even worse.
"How'd she fall though?" Smackle whispered to Zay, who just shrugged, answering, "You know Riley just does things sometimes."
"Riley, are you alright?" Instead of skeptical, Lucas was caring. He gently helped his girlfriend off the carpet and dusted off the side of her thigh. Inside, Farkle burned. "Gotta be more careful, Sunshine."
"Yeah," Riley giggled away while making a look to Farkle. He stared at the ground.
When school let out, Riley took the elevator up to Farkle's loft in the Minkus building. She was over so frequently now, the doorman recognized her and always let her in without making her show identification. When she charged into his room, Farkle was surprised on his bed and stopped reading the Watchmen.
Putting down his graphic novel and beginning to stand, he said, "I thought you said you were going to be with Lucas today?" There was a hint of hate in his voice.
"I was, I mean, I am. I just came here to say we need to stop this. Now." Riley's tone was determined as she balled her fist, gathering her nerves.
"You're right." He agreed.
"... Really? You-you agree?"
"Of course, but I have to tell you that what happened at your mom's earlier was an accident - "
"We can't afford any more of those, Farkle!"
"I know! I agree with you!"
"When I was with Lucas last, I almost said your name! If I let it slip, that would have been the end of everything!" Tense, Farkle licked his lips being reminded yet again that he had to share Riley with his best friend.
"I said, I agree, Riley. No need for details." Farkle said agitated, sitting back down and blocking the vision of Riley with his book.
Sensing that she hurt him, Riley talked more, fidgeting, "It's just... Our last year all together shouldn't be about drama, you know? Nothing should change, so I think we should just... end it.
"Right. Rip the band-aid off and all that." Farkle suggested, monotone.
"Farkle," Riley pleaded with Farkle who she felt wasn't taking her seriously. "Look at me!"
He brought his graphic novel down with a thud on his bed, "Look, Riley, you are right, OK? This - us- whatever it is, it's not feasible. It's our senior year. Our last year with all our friends. To continue this, we would be hurting everyone we care about most. And if any of them found out - "
"They'd hate us."
"Right. So, it's over."
"OK, good."
"Good." He went on with reading, fully expecting Riley to make her exit but then, he heard his door lock from the inside. Farkle's eyes peeked over the rim of his book to see her taking off her jacket. Then, she sauntered over to him, to climb on his lap and began kissing him. He tried to rise up, but Riley straddled him, holding Farkle down to plant smooches all over his mouth and face.
"Riley - " Farkle tried to get a word in but her soft lips kept interrupting. "Riley -"
She tried to explain her reasoning in-between kisses, "Look, if we're going to - end this - I think - that we need - just one more time - to get it out - of our - systems." Her hands trembled with anticipation, as they unbuttoned Farkle's shirt. Under the spell of her kisses, Riley's twisted logic was making more and more sense to him.
"One more time?" He asked breathless, bunching her skirt up to her waist.
"One more time."
Notes:
Thanks for reading!
Chapter Text
Friends. That's what they were supposed to go back to. Like in the old days, when she would always sit in front of him and they would run the class, while her father would just tolerate it. The old days, when they would sit on the bench and have the deepest conversations in just five minutes. The times when Riley and Farkle felt like things would always be the same and that was good.
Yeah, right.
Due to her last meeting with Farkle, Riley was late for her date with Lucas. She knew she would be but she couldn't help herself. She never thought they'd grow up and Farkle Minkus would be the one to make her lose control. On the subway, Riley looked into her compact mirror. Because it was (allegedly) their final time, Farkle went a little overboard and left a hickie on her neck. Then, the snippet of the evening came back to her, feeling the exact moment when his teeth penetrated her skin and how she felt like she was becoming poisoned with Farkle. Gently, she dabbed the applicator in the powder and covered the mark as best she could. Still, it was going to be there until it was good and ready to fade away. Riley hoped it would be soon.
When Riley jogged to meet her boyfriend outside the movie theater, she saw every small cloud of breath she huffed. It was getting colder and Lucas' Texas blood had to be on the brink of freezing. Then, she saw him. His chiseled face was adorably red from the cold and he turned and smiled when she called his name. Riley ran into his arms and gave him a kiss hot enough to make him melt. Her immense and growing guilt has lead her to show Lucas all the affection he would allow.
"Whoa," he said into her softly smiling lips, with his hands connecting behind Riley's waist.
"I'm sorry I was late."
"You're forgiven. You're always forgiven." The couple beamed at each other and hand in hand, entered the theater. He held the door for her, bought her favorite snacks and let her have the first bite of popcorn like the perfect gentleman.
Post-movie, Lucas and Riley were still holding hands but this was more because he was worried. After watching Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! at the old megaplex, his girlfriend had been overflowing with tears ever since.
"Honey, the movie wasn't sad. They had a happy ending! It was happy!" Lucas comforted.
"It's not happy, if someone has to get hurt!" Riley exclaimed, wiping her tears.
"I don't even think that Tad guy was that mad and I mean, he did lie - "
"Because that was how much he wanted her in his life! You have this one girl and two vastly different guys that she likes for vastly different reasons and how is she supposed to choose? They both obviously care about her! It's terrible!"
Seeing how stirred she was by the movie, Lucas held her closer and kissed her hair, "OK, OK, Sunshine, you know what always cheers you up? Those crumpets with peach jelly you like so much. Let's go." The couple headed in the direction of Topanga's. When inside the bakery, Lucas took Riley's jacket for her and hung it up. Her hungry eyes were on the pastries, while Lucas' saw their friends. "Oh, hey, it's Smackle and Farkle."
Her appetite dissolved in a matter of seconds. Before she could figure out how to persuade him to leave, Lucas was already traveling to the quad area where Smackle and Farkle were. They were looking into the laptop on Smackle's lap and Farkle rested his arm around her shoulders.
"Hey, guys!" He greeted with a full wattage grin.
"Hey, man." Farkle was casual, giving Lucas a handshake. He saw Riley nervously creeping up out of the corner of his eye and said nothing.
"Hello, other boyfriend." Smackle said, shameless.
"Farkle - " Lucas gestured to Smackle and her disrespectful advances for Farkle to deadpan, "Yeah, I don't even say anything anymore."
Lucas laughed and took a seat, opposite the couple. Riley was still in the background, however. He pivoted around and saw her lurking, then called her over, "Riley! What're you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just choosing what I want!" What she really wanted was to leave but she needed time to think up a good reason. Diarrhea? No, too embarrassing. Family emergency? Knowing Lucas, he'd want to come and be by her side, or at least get a follow-up. Sex? That could work but honestly she didn't feel like it. Not so soon after Farkle... She closed her eyes and saw the top of his head between her legs. Realizing there was no out, Riley picked two crumpets with peach jelly and hot chocolate and joined her friends.
As she sat down, Lucas ran his fingers through her hair. "Feel better?"
"Mm-hmm," Riley nodded, taking a mouthful of pastry because if she spoke, she would say something weird or start crying.
"What happened?" Farkle couldn't help but care when something was wrong with Riley.
"We went to see a movie and she cried all the way here after."
"What movie?"
"Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! It was about a girl and two guys and - "
"Oh." Farkle cut his friend off, deciding he didn't need to hear anymore and put his attention back on Smackle's paper.
"So, what are you guys up to?" Lucas asked.
"I'm helping Smackle with her essay application to Harvard."
"More like proof-reading." Smackle corrected.
"Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Farkle, would you read my essay too? If you're not too busy."
"Sure." He shrugged.
Riley then swallowed her pride and dessert, curiously asking her boyfriend, "You finished it? Why didn't you ask me to read it?"
"Well, I was eventually, Riley. I just wanted to get Farkle's opinion first because... it's like Farkle is the facts. He'll check my grammar and make sure everything I'm saying makes sense, flows well... all the stuff that makes for a good academic essay. But you, you're the emotion. You'll be able to tell me if what I have to say feels authentic and genuine to me. It's like you're two halves of a whole. Farkle's the head and you're the heart, Riley. I hope that doesn't offend you." Riley fought really hard to smile and she viciously shook her head. Then, she attacked her crumpet with a huge bite. That way if she did cry, people would believe it's because she's choking.
Lucas continued, "Can you guys believe that we're seniors? We're graduating this year... it's crazy."
"Well, I got the option to graduate last year but I wanted to stay with my man." Smackle grinned, grabbing Farkle by the chin and smooching his face.
"I'm glad you didn't." Farkle said to his girlfriend.
"I'm glad I didn't, too."
This was normal, right? Farkle and Smackle being super adorable was normal and Lucas sitting next to Riley was normal but these feelings - these emotions of jealousy and rage and sadness within Riley wasn't normal. This is how it was supposed to be but she couldn't take it. Riley thought she might explode and Farkle never looked at her. It was killing Riley that he wouldn't look at her.
Then Happy-Go-Lucas piped up, "You know what we haven't done in a while? Went on a double date."
No.
"That is accurate, Lucas." Smackle added. Because Zay and Maya would always make fun of when the couples were being couples, Lucas, Riley, Farkle and Smackle sometimes would hang out without them. They would go to dinner or bowling and it would always be a good time. But now, the thought of being around the genius couple filled her with dread.
"I think senior year kind of bogged us all down, we should definitely all hang out!"
"Dinner? Tomorrow?"
Please, no.
Lucas and Smackle enthusiastically planned the whole thing as Farkle and Riley sat quietly.
"Sounds good to me."
Farkle, look at me.
He did not.
"Riley?" Suddenly, Lucas' big hand was on her knee and lovingly stared at her. "Sound good?"
Riley nodded, "Sounds good."
Finally, Farkle looked up.
At Chez Felipe's on Saturday night, everyone played their roles. In fact, some over-acted a tad. Riley was wearing a dress that she borrowed from Maya that fitted her tight, with her mother's heels. When her boyfriend removed her coat for her, Riley heard his shortness of breath. This did not go unnoticed with Farkle or Smackle.
When her sexy transformation was revealed, Smackle exclaimed, "Dammmnnn, Gina!"
Riley just threw a smirk Farkle's way. He huffed through his nostrils, irritated. For the rest of the night, the conversation was light and airy. Riley was extra lovey with Lucas, feeding him and resting her chin on her palm while whispering things in his ear that made him blush. When the night was over, Riley was wantonly staplegunned to Lucas, lying her head on his shoulder. Farkle made no reaction. Curtly, he told the two goodnight and walked off with Smackle, holding her hand as Riley frowned.
At school on Monday, Riley sat in front of Farkle, not saying a word. When Mr. Matthews called on Farkle to answer questions, the hairs on her skinny arms stood up for the superior tone of his voice. It made Riley remember how Farkle could be dominant when he wants to be, but then, she couldn't think like this anymore. Farkle was her friend. However, she didn't know how to stop herself and hated that it seemed to easy for Farkle.
By the end of AP History, Mr. Matthews was giving out partner assignments for their next project on wars among superpower countries. Farkle and Riley got paired together because of the stinkin' alphabet. Matthews, Minkus. When the bell for second period rang, both of them leaped from their desks and marched over to their teacher. They made a glance at each other before, looking expectantly at Mr. Matthews.
"Yes?" Cory quipped, holding a handball.
"I request another partner, sir."
The hardness in Farkle's tone made her flinch, but Riley quickly followed, "So do I!"
"The partners were picked based on - "
"Alphabetical order, yes." Farkle finished. "But, surely you can make this one exception, sir."
"Please, daddy."
"OK, you jerks," Cory spun in his swivel chair, to walk from behind his desk and face his two students. "I try not to get involved in your personal lives - "
"That's all you do - " Riley started.
"But, I don't think I'm the only one that's noticed you two have been acting like little weirdos lately. Projects are your thing! You two are like a powerhouse together. What's going on?"
Farkle exhaled, "We just want to broaden our horizons, sir. Like you said, 'People change people'. We want to see what working with other people will do for our views."
Cory wasn't convinced but he patted his daughter and his favorite student's shoulders, offering, "Next time, guys, OK? But for this project, it's going to be Riley and Farkle: The Cold War."
The two defeated people left the classroom and walked together to AP English, without meaning to.
Farkle was the first one to speak, "I can do all the written work and you can handle the Powerpoint and presentation. This way, we don't have to spend time together."
Riley, offended, "You can't be around me, Farkle? I thought we were friends?"
"So did I."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Suddenly, the late bell rang.
"Look, Riley, if you want to work together, let's go to Topanga's after school, all right?"
"Fine."
Around 4 P.M., Riley and Farkle traveled in awkward silence to her mother's bakery. Tension filled the space but Farkle kept his headphones on, leaving Riley alone with it. His hand reached for the door handle but he hesitated, reading the sign on the door.
"You've got be fucking kidding me," Farkle muttered to himself.
"What?" Riley moved in front of him, to also see what the sign said. "Closed for renovations?" She read aloud. "No way, we were just open this morning." She took out her phone to call her mother. After two rings, Topanga picked up. "Hey, mom. I'm outside the bakery right now and it says closed for renovations?"
"Yeah, some of our pipes burst around noon. The whole bathroom and kitchen is flooded. We're probably going to be closed for a few days."
"Wow. OK, well, I'll see you at home."
"OK, love you."
"I love you, too."
Riley pressed the end call button and glanced at Farkle. "Pipes burst. Kitchen and bathrooms are flooded."
Farkle rolled his eyes and groaned, "Aw, c'mon."
"We can still go to the library - "
"The library is closed on Mondays." He said matter-of-factly, still searching inside.
Riley looked down at her boots, "Oh, right."
"I guess we'll just go to the library tomorrow - "
"Or, we can go to my house? That's two blocks away?"
"... Riley, I'd rather work at the library." Working in private spelled D-A-N-G-E-R for them, how could she not see that?
"Farkle, this project is a major part of our grade and I know my dad would love nothing more than to fail me, so he can keep an eye on me for the rest of my life. I don't want to give him a reason. Can we just... Go to my house?" Really, Riley wanted to be alone with him so they could talk about what he told her earlier. It was bothering her all day.
Farkle sighed, a moment of gazing into her hypnotic, brown eyes, "Fine."
They arrived at the Matthews' brownstone and headed straight for Riley's room. They sat near the bay window, far apart from each other. Without anything to distract him, the tension was now highly palpable to Farkle. He kept his focus on the task at hand, reading from their textbook and taking notes, but he felt big, puppy like eyes on him the whole time.
"Riley, stop staring at me." Farkle ordered, still scribbling in his workbook.
She burned holes into him. "What did you mean earlier?"
"Mm?"
"You said you thought we were friends."
"Riley, I came here to work. Nothing more, nothing less."
"And I can't work until you tell me why you apparently think I'm not your friend anymore, Farkle!"
Bitterly laughing, Farkle shut his textbook with a slam. "OK, let's do this. Friends don't try to hurt each other, Riley. Yet on Saturday, you spent the whole night trying to make me jealous."
"I was not!" Riley protested in outrage, now standing.
"Oh, please." Farkle stood with her. "That dress and heels? That wasn't your dress, you don't own anything that tight. And then, you kept throwing yourself at Lucas. It was clear you were trying to get a rise of out of me! Friends don't do that to friends!"
"What about you and Smackle? Huh? Acting all couple-y in front of me and-and holding hands - "
"Yeah, yeah, right. While you run from my bed to Lucas' and I'm supposed to be OK with that? That's what me and Smackle do! That's what we've always done! She's my girlfriend!
"That doesn't matter! You don't think that I wasn't effected by that? Like, I'm not supposed to care? And don't you dare pretend like you're not still having sex with Smackle!"
"I'm not!"
Riley paused, softly replying, "... You're... not?"
"Honestly, it has less to do with you and more to do with our schedules, but... No. We haven't since the summer." Riley gulped and gave him a sobering look. He took one weighty step towards her. "Neither of us are supposed to care, Riley. That was the whole point of us ending this."
"Are you... Saying you care?" She put one foot in his direction.
Farkle looked at her hopelessly, "Of course. Do you?" Another step.
With one last move, the tips of their noses were grazing. "Farkle," Riley barely found her voice being so close to him. When he said his name with weakness like that, it drove him insane. "If we can't be just friends then..." Her eyelids fluttered to a close, being pulled in by the sound of his heavy breathing. Her heartbeat elevated with each button he undid on her sweater.
Farkle swallowed at the dryness in his throat, "If we can't stop..."
"Then..."
Suddenly, Riley's bedroom door broke open. The two magnets blasted away from each other, fixing their clothes and their energy. Farkle started to cough for no reason as Riley stretched her sweater over her shirt of a pink elephant.
Seeing her little brother, flustered Riley couldn't hide the agitation in her tone, "Jesus, Auggie, can't you knock?"
Auggie scrunched his nose at her, " I was just going to tell you guys that mom is bringing pizza home. She wants to know what you want on your slices, Rudy-Riley."
"Well, I'm not going to be able to stay for dinner - " Farkle immediately began to pack up his things.
"Because we're going to study at Farkle's house!" Farkle twisted his neck to look at Riley with bug eyes. "Right?"
"R-right."
Riley grabbed her laptop and coat, when Auggie reminded them, "What about the yelling I heard?"
"There wasn't any yelling." Riley denied. "Now, stay out of my room. C'mon Farkle, let's go." She dragged Farkle by the sleeve of his jacket out of their apartment.
Notes:
Thanks for reading!
Chapter 4: Blow Up the World
Notes:
AN: To enhance your reading experience, please cue, "Nothing Can Change This Love" by Sam Cooke and play at the appropriate time.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When Riley was a little girl, at midnight on her birthday her parents would tip-toe inside of her bedroom and wake her. They'd give a big kiss and hug each, telling Riley they loved her always. On the eve of her eighteenth, Riley told her family that she was going to spend it with her best friend. Cory and Topanga assumed that was Maya, so they relented tradition this one time. This time next year she would be in a college dorm anyway. Their daughter was woken up by two birthday texts at 12 AM. Hearing the vibration from the bed, Riley reached on the nightstand to read them.
From Maya:
happy birthday ya old biddy *grandma emoji* love you honey.
From Lucas:
happy birthday darlin. can't wait to give you some of these *three kissy emojis*
Her small smile bathed in the dull glow of her phone. Then, Riley turned her phone off and snuggled into Farkle. Feeling her warmth again, he groaned softly and stroked Riley's hair. After doing well on their History project, they went to Farkle's to celebrate.
Farkle's eyes were still closed when he whispered, "Happy birthday, Riley."
"Mm, thank you." She responded dreamily, sighing against his supple chest. A few moments of peace, and then, "Please?"
Farkle made a dry snicker, "Nope."
"It's my birthday now."
"No gifts until your party tonight."
"No fair."
Farkle held Riley closer, both going to sleep for real this time.
Riley spent her first day being 18 with Maya and she wanted to show her ID to all of New York. They bought cigarettes and returned them as soon as the cashier put the receipt in her hand. At the movies, they anxiously awaited being carded to see a repeat showing of Scarface but were never given the satisfaction. ("You're... you're not going to card me?" "No, you're fine." "But I could be 17! People who are 17 and under are so innocent and are wearing baby goggles and hats with those little pinwheels on them! I must show you that I am an adult! This material is suitable for me because I am over the age of 17!" "Oh my God, just card her, please.") Of course, the birthday girl squirmed and hid her face in Maya's blonde locks for three-quarters of the violent classic but rewarded herself with shopping for a new outfit.
Maya and Riley were searching through the racks at their favorite store, Demolition when Maya asked, "So, did everything go OK last night?"
Riley made a pregnant pause, "What?"
"I mean, with Ranger Rick? You told your parents you were at my house right?" Maya reminded her, flattening a teal cocktail dress over her petite stature.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally."
"So, does Huckleberry have a special evening planned tonight after your party?" Maya wiggled her thick eyebrows.
"Yeah, it's supposed to be really romantic! With flowers and candles..." While describing her magical night with Lucas, Farkle's face suddenly appeared to Riley's mind. She swallowed before saying, "It's going to be everything I want."
"Good, because if he fucks this up, like my party, I'm going to kick him in the balls. I mean, he kinda is already but you will have a physically ball-less boyfriend.
"And I'll still love him anyway." Riley told her with a smile. "Besides, that was a misunderstanding! Lucas could never really do anything to mess up."
"True." Maya yanked the velvet curtain to a dressing room and took a million dresses inside. Speaking behind the purple fabric, "You two are so perfect, I want to asphyxiate myself with your cuteness."
Riley's phone buzzed with a text from Farkle:
I can't wait to give you your gift *heart*
"I mean, ya'll are like relationship goals. Not for me but everyone in the whole school."
To hold in her grin, Riley licked her lips with her dimples showing.
Can I have a hint?
"Wouldn't be surprised if you guys get Cutest Couple and Prom King and Queen like last year. Hey, can I have your crown? For an art project, I'm doing?"
"I didn't win yet, Maya." Riley answered, waiting for Farkle's text. "You can have my sash from last year."
"Yeah, but you will!"
Then, her phone vibrated in her hands.
It's something that you can't see but you can feel.
Farkle, that can't be a gift. I got that this morning *winky face*
God, you have such a one-track mind.
Don't act like you're not into it.
Your gift, however, has 8 tracks.
And, I never said I wasn't into it *winky-face*
"Riley?" Maya drew the curtain that separated them back to see her best friend, grinning like mad into her phone. She walked towards her in a lilac, strapless, little dress. "Ooh, sexy times with Huckleberry?" Maya shifted her weight on her tip-toes to catch a peak but startled, Riley held her iPhone to her chest.
"Maya," she used her parental tone.
"Riley," the blonde mocked her, trying to peel her fingers off so she could read the sexts. "You used to let me read them all the time to help you, why can't I see them now?"
Trying to stay light, Riley answered, "Because, I don't need help now and we're just... talking about... the food at the party." Quickly, she dropped her phone in her purse and zippered it shut.
"The food. The food at the party?" Maya had her hands on her hips.
"... Yup. He wants macaroni and cheese and I'm just like, 'Nope, mashed potatoes all the way. It's my day, guy. Not yours. Deal with it.'" Riley held a smile, until Maya finally rolled her eyes and began leaving to her dressing room. Riley exhaled in relief.
"Whatever, weirdo but start trying shit on, Riley! Your party starts soon and we have to get ready!"
"Kay!" Without examining any of them for size or aesthetic, Riley took two armfuls of dresses and ran into the space next to Maya.
This had to be the largest party Riley ever had. So many family members. Her uncles, her aunt, grandparents from both sides, her parents' friends, her friends' parents and Riley was the center of attention. She wore a deep purple number with mesh lining the torso and her hair was bone straight. Maya did her makeup was natural as per Riley's request. She was a vision and everyone had a hard time tearing their eyes away from her, but especially Farkle.
It wasn't only because she looked stunning but her main accessory, Lucas, was hard to ignore. His best friend stood tall and handsome next to his girlfriend. They would look back at each other momentarily and clasp hands. Farkle studied them, trying to read their lips on each other's ears. Things were good between them. Lucas told him so. His relationship with Smackle, who was his date that night, was the same. When they all greeted each other, Farkle was able to smell the vanilla perfume Riley was wearing as they hugged. He wanted to linger and hang on the high of Riley's feel, but she wasn't Farkle's and more and more, it seemed as though she never would be truly. Even with Smackle by his side, Farkle couldn't get his mind off it.
When she had a minute, Riley sat near the counter just watching everyone. Riley's mother ripped open her shirt to become Superwoman, running around to make sure the punch bowl was always full and the plates always had food. Maya was talking to Josh, giggling and flirting like they always did. Zay was playing DJ and Auggie's friends gathered around because they thought he was cool. Out of nowhere, Farkle caught her eye. She wanted to go to him and talk about anything but, they couldn't do that anymore. They were scared something would show and someone would get suspicious. These loving, longing stares was the only thing they could have in public. Farkle was holding Smackle by the waist. Riley's mind rewound to earlier that morning, when she was leaving his house in his t-shirt and her jeans. The very same arm grasped her tightly, giving her a sweet and careful kiss until next time. Because there would always be a next time. Suddenly, Lucas appeared holding two glasses of sparkling cider.
Charmingly, Lucas tipped the flute towards hers and they clinked, "Cheers, darlin'."
"Cheers." She smiled, before drinking the cider down.
Watching her, Lucas blushed and sucked his lips in. Then, he leaned over to whisper, "I can't wait to have you all to myself tonight." Riley could feel herself getting painfully red.
"Lucas..."
"I don't care. You look too beautiful." His fingers caressed the side of her bare arm. All she could think of was Farkle. The lights in the bakery went out and everyone went silent, hushing each other. Then, Topanga and Cory led a parade of Riley's closest friends, singing "Happy Birthday" with a big cake with candles. Riley graciously smiled and clapped. Lucas pulled her closer, massaging her shoulder and kissing her temple.
"Make a wish, Riley." Cory enticed. Taking a mental Polaroid, Riley glanced around at all of the people she loved.
Her amber eyes fell on Farkle when she said, "I have everything I need. What more could I ever wish for?" Farkle looked down at the ground, making his palms into fists and Riley blew out her candles. Everyone cheered.
A little later, the party dwindled down. Riley's relatives had to leave early to drive back to PA and it was past Auggie's bedtime, so Topanga allowed the six friends to have the restaurant to themselves. Riley was opening gifts. Smackle got her another Theory of Relativity book to read, so they'd have more in common. Yet, Riley could never get through them and always asked Farkle to explain the science later. Maya won Riley tickets to see Carly Rae Jepsen live, with her best friend as her obvious +1. In merriment, they both sung the chorus to "Emotion." Zay bought her a pillow in the form of a purple, furry cat. He knew she liked soft things.
"Aww, thank you Zay." Riley said, cuddling the pillow. "I'll never lay down on this without thinking of you."
"Aye, that's the plan." Zay jokingly pointed with both fingers to Lucas, "Sorry, buddy."
Lucas rolled his green eyes upward, as everyone else chuckled. He huddled nearer to his girlfriend, whispering, "Me next." Riley turned to him and watched carefully as he brought out a tiny teal box with a white ribbon. Riley and Maya gasped.
"This better not be another jellybean." Smackle groused.
"Oh, no. This ain't no jellybean." Zay confirmed with a knowing smile. Farkle was so silent, it was like he left.
"Is tha - " Riley couldn't even finish, so Maya ran to her side, almost yelling, "Tiffany's?!"
"I don't know. Why don't you open it?" Lucas teasingly grinned. Riley took the box from him, cautiously untying the ribbon. Some weren't very patient.
"Hurry, hurry up Riley!" Maya almost knocked her over.
At the blonde's behest, faster Riley opened the box. Inside was a sterling silver necklace with a pendant in the shape of a heart.
"Whoa." Riley managed.
"Yeah, whoa." Maya agreed.
Riley held up the jewelry, letting the heart shine in the light. "Lucas... "
"It's a locket." Zay could barely contain himself with excitement. He was there with his Lucas when he chose it.
She pried it open with her fingers as Maya leaned over her back to see what was inside. In the heart was a tiny picture of Riley and Lucas at their first dance together in middle school.
"Riley, you're the first girl I ever let steal my heart and... I don't want it back. I love you, Riley."
Riley quickly became emotional, her eyes becoming wet. "Oh, Lucas..." Then, she gave her back to him and lifted her hair, wanting him to do the honors. She felt the cold metal around her neck.
"Oh my God, why do I feel like I'm watching you two get married?" Maya held her hands on her chest. "I'm gonna have a heart attack from cuteness."
"I know. Damn," Zay rubbed the tears from his eyes, erasing all evidence of being touched.
Farkle, however, felt like he was going to implode. His feelings were so mixed and strong and new, that he didn't know how to control them. Also, it didn't help that with every move Lucas made, next to Riley, on Riley, towards Riley, he thought about just blurting everything out. So, he had to leave. Suddenly, Farkle shifted his body to Smackle, telling her that he wasn't feeling well and he wanted to go home. She offered to come with him but he wanted her to enjoy the party. Finding the will to move, Farkle abruptly stood up and everyone stopped to look.
"Uh, I'm not feeling too well, right now. I'm - I'm gonna go. Happy birthday, Riley." Puzzled, the gang made looks at one another. Then, Riley left Lucas' embrace to get her coat.
"Riley - " Maya started.
"I'm just going to make sure he's OK." In a flash, the bells above the front door jingled and Riley was gone. She saw Farkle, rushing in the direction of the subway. "Farkle, Farkle!" She ran in her heels to catch up to him, avoiding patches of ice. Crushed, Farkle sighed heavily when he heard Riley calling his name. In agony, he turned around to meet her concerned face.
"Farkle, what are you doing? Why are you leaving?" Her cheeks were blushing from running in the cold.
He seemed to be incapable of getting his words. Farkle inhaled, not meeting her stare, "I can't be in there, Riley. I just can't. I left your gift in the kitchen, in the bakery. Listen to it when your alone. I got to go." Farkle pivoted away from her but she grabbed his hand.
"Farkle, wait!" She pleaded. Their hands swayed together. Slowly, Riley took hostage of his other hand, looking into his eyes. "Talk to me." She whispered.
Farkle's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water but he heard steps approaching them.
Maya said, sensing the energy, "Is... everything OK?"
Dropping her grasp from Farkle, Riley spun around to Maya, "Yeah! Like I said, I just wanted to check on him." This girl had more faces than Dr. Jekyll.
"Farkle?" Maya questioned, feeling there was more going on.
"Yeah, no, she - she just wanted to see that I was alright. Thanks, Riley." He nodded to her. "I'm gonna go. See you guys later."
When Farkle jogged down the steps and disappeared, Maya narrowed her eyes, "What the hell...?"
Riley shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe he ate something." She feigned a smile and put her arm around Maya, walking them back to Topanga's. On the way, Riley made sparing glances back to the subway.
It was no longer her birthday and Riley couldn't sleep. After the others went home, Riley stealthily went to the kitchen to pick up a USB on the island with her name on it. Then, her and Lucas went back to her room, in her house. Somehow, her boyfriend was able to convert the teenager's space into a paradise of lilies and orchids. Candles sat on the window and her nightstand. Twangy but romantic, country music played in the background. Softly, they made love. Underneath the weight and breath and watch of Lucas, Riley still dared to think about what Farkle was doing at that very moment.
Sitting up, wearing nothing but her new necklace, Riley opened her laptop. She was hesitant not to wake Lucas up next to her. Her hand reached for the plug Farkle gave as a gift and plugged it in. Music files popped up with a video. Making sure her headphones were secure and working, Riley played the file.
"Hey, Riley. Happy birthday." Farkle greeted through her computer screen. She instantly smiled. "Um, I know this probably wasn't what you were expecting and this is weird but... anyway, I just wanted to say that... even though between us right now, things are really," He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You know what? I really don't even know what things are with us right now but... I know how I feel because you taught me. Being friends with you, knowing you and loving you has been the education of my life." With that, Riley was already crying.
"And, I made you a mixtape to help me illustrate the monster you've created." He laughed weakly. "Look what you've done. I've spent a lot of time on this so, try to listen to everything all the way through. Especially the last song. That one is the most special. OK. I'm gonna leave you to it. Bye. I love you, happy birthday."
In anticipation, Riley opened the first song, ready to go on this journey Farkle created. She smiled and bopped along and danced for an hour, until the last song. By then, Riley was sitting naked on her floor, paying close attention. The song was by Sam Cooke, who she was familiar with because she loved Motown but never heard of this particular song.
If I go, a million miles away
I'd write a letter, each and everyday
'Cause honey nothing, nothing can ever change this love I have for you
Mmmmmm, make me weep
And you can make me cry
See me coming
And you can pass me by
But honey, nothing, nothing can ever change this love I have for you
Wo-oh-oh, you're the apple of my eye, you're cherry pie
And oh you're, you're cake and ice cream
Oh you're sugar and spice, and everything nice
You're the girl of my, my, my, my, dreams
But if you wanted, to leave me and roam
When you got back, I'd just say welcome home
'Cause honey nothing, nothing, nothing can ever change this, love I have, for you
Wo-oh-oh-oh...
I know, I know, I know, I know that nothing, nothing, nothing can ever
Change the love I have for you.
Admittedly, it was very corny. Not flashy or even funny, but so full of love. It was perfect. Riley loved it. Riley sobbed quietly, immediately wanting to leave Lucas sleeping in her bed to go and thank Farkle in all the ways she knew how. However, knowing how impossible that was, she wiped her chin of her happy tears and just played everything, even Farkle's intro video on a loop until she got so tired, she had to go back to bed.
When the sun rose, Riley was sitting near the bay window. Fully dressed, she combing out her hair. Next thing she knew, Farkle crawled through.
Riley beamed, putting down her brush, "Hey." Instead of giving her a kiss, Farkle went to make sure the bedroom door was locked. When he turned back to look at Riley, Farkle had ghostly bags underneath his eyes. Riley stood and stalked towards him. "Farkle... you look awful."
"I broke up with Smackle."
"... W-what? You did what?"
"I didn't go home last night. I went to her house and waited for her. I broke up with Smackle."
"What did you say, Farkle? You, you didn't, did you? I mean, you didn't tell her -"
"No, Riley. All I said was that we were going in different directions. She has her sights set on Harvard and I want to stay in the city. It only made sense and she seemed to concur and understand." Hearing that, Riley learned to breathe again. "But I should have."
"Farkle, why would you say that?"
"Because, Riley... I'm tired. I'm tired of lying to everyone. Friends don't lie to each other, Riley. They don't leave, they don't try to hurt each other and most of all, they don't lie. As much as love Isadora, I respect her a lot more. I should have told her the real reason I can't be with her is because... I'm in love with you."
After several moments, Riley repeated, "What?"
"I'm in love with you, Riley. I always have been and I think I've been repressing it because you gave the impression that we could only be platonic but now, that's clearly not the case."
Riley's mind was racing. Things went from complicated to complex to a never-ending maze. "Farkle, look around." His weary eyes did so at the still alive flowers and blown out candles in her room. "Lucas did all of this. He did this because he loves me that much - "
"No, he didn't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I did this. Lucas said he wanted to do something special for you but because of the ban that your father has, he didn't know how. So, I gave him the idea. I picked the flowers and the candles while you were out shopping with Maya. I did the set up."
Riley stared hard at Farkle, knowing if she blinked tears would surely drop. She grasped the heart pendant and almost snatched it off, "Did you come up with this too?"
"No. That was all Lucas because he does love you. But so do I, OK? And anyway, stop making this about other people, Riley! Forget Lucas and Smackle! Tell me how you feel because for the first time ever, I don't know! I can't read you!"
"Neither do I, OK?! This is all happening so fast!"
"Riley, are you telling me you really didn't see this coming? What, did you think I'd go and marry Smackle and you'd marry Lucas and we'd keep doing this? Maybe you can live like that - "
"How dare you say that?! Of course, this has been tearing me up inside!"
"I don't know about that, Riley."
"Farkle, what are you saying? What are you saying to me right now?!"
"I don't know but I think you've gotten comfortable in how things are. I think - I think you actually like it."
"Oh my God... Farkle, if you can think that I actually like sneaking around and lying to everyone - "
"Well, you never did anything like this before. I think you're addicted to the danger and having a secret, but I can't be a secret, Riley. Not anymore, not even for you."
"... Are you threatening me, Farkle? Is this like Lucas and New Years Eve' again? Because you think you know what's best for everyone? Farkle, if we told everyone it would be the end of the world as we know it. You're literally asking me to blow up the world and everyone I love! Why would you want that?"
"Because last night, I realized that I want to be the one who holds your hand in public, all right? I want to kiss in you front our friends and not have to apologize for calling you 'babe' or cover it up. I want to take you to Senior Prom, OK?! Lucas Friar is the best friend I've ever had and ever will have. I don't want to hurt him anymore than you do! I don't want to hurt anyone!" The whites of Farkle's eyes turned pink and he scrubbed his face in his hoodie to hide his tears. Seeing that Farkle was crying, Riley instinctively tried to comfort him but he shrugged her off coldly.
Sniffing and shaking his nerves off, Farkle continued, "I didn't come here to threaten you, Riley. I know I did that in the past but that was wrong. So, I'm leaving this up to you... If you don't leave Lucas, then that will be the end of you and me."
"Farkle, we've tried to stop before - " Riley said, her voice becoming as haggard as she felt.
"No. I mean, if I can't be your friend and I can't be your boyfriend, then I have to be nothing. I can't talk to you. I won't even look at you."
"Farkle, you don't mean that." Her voice broke.
"Yes, I do. I have to."
"But, Farkle - "
"Riley, you're still making it about everyone else! What about me? Do you care about me?"
"Yes!"
"Do you want to be with me?"
Before Riley's cracked and dry mouth could say anything, the bay window slid open and Maya entered, "OK, you whore, it ain't your birthday anymore! Are ya decent or are you Huckleberry still doing the nasty?" When her crystal blue eyes saw her two best friends, turning their backs to one another. Farkle wiped his eyes on his sleeve and Riley didn't even show her face to Maya.
"Um, am I interrupting something? Oh my God, did that dinosaur teacher your dad loves finally croak?"
"No, no, Maya. I'm actually just leaving." His tone was low. Without another word or look, Farkle left through the bay window. Maya watched him go, worriedly.
"OK, was Farkle crying or are my eyes failing me?" She jutted her thumb in his direction. Riley just shrugged and sat down on the cushion. Scoffing, Maya hastily pivoted her body so she could lock the bay window. Her little legs traveled to Riley's door, locking that too but it was already done. Then, she sat closer than close next to Riley. "OK, you're going to tell me what's going on, finally. Right now." She commanded.
"Maya, you know how Farkle can be sometimes, " Riley covered the shakiness in her voice.
"No, Riley. It's more than that. This has been going on for a while."
"... I don't know what you're talking about."
"Riley, you dum-dum, it's me! Maya! I am your best friend, no one will know you like I do, OK? You've been like this for months!"
"Like what?" Riley asked aggravated.
"I don't know like, not you! You've been... sad and quiet. You been keeping to yourself more, which I've always requested but the Riley we all know and love lets her heart burst on her sleeve and doesn't care. Huckleberry even came to me, asking what was wrong with you. I had to tell him I didn't know."
"Lucas noticed?" She said in a whisper.
Maya nodded, "Yeah. Lucas noticed but he didn't ask you because he didn't want to fight anymore. Not this year. Honey... what's wrong? Tell me, so we can fix it."
Suddenly, it felt like gravity was just pushing Riley down. Maya heard her hyperventilating as she put her hands over her ears. The more she tried to calm down, the more she lost control. Her fingers dug into her scalp and her brown irises became positively red from the morning of tears. Riley was breaking in front of Maya's eyes and Maya had never been so scared.
Maya fell to the floor, crouching in front of Riley, trying to meet her eyes. "Riley? Honey? You're OK, all right? You're OK. You're with me. You're with me. You're in a safe space. You're fine, honey." She pet Riley's forehead and shushed her. "It's OK."
"No, it's not!" Riley sobbed.
"Why? What's not OK?"
"I can't tell you!" Riley shook her head so hard, it looked like her neck might snap.
"Why?"
"You're gonna hate me!"
"Riley." Maya put her hands on Riley's knees. "There is absolutely nothing, nothing in this world that could make you hate you, all right? I love you forever. It's always going to be you and me, no matter what." Maya tried to be strong for Riley but seeing her friend so broken and distraught caused her deep pain. "Please, let me help you. Tell me what's going on."
Carefully, the weeping brunette removed her hands from her head and Maya grabbed them, actually afraid Riley might try to hurt herself. "Riley...?"
"... I've been cheating on Lucas!" And the sky fell down. Riley revealed her secret with shut eyes, not being able to bare how Maya had to be looking at her right now. She did feel Maya leave her hold and sit beside her again at the bay window.
"What?" Maya was stunned.
Her whole body was quaking as she turned to Maya, now eyes wide open, "I've been cheating on Lucas. I've been sleeping with someone else."
The blonde inhaled and never released. Her tongue worked trying to find something to say but... there was just too much. This was just too much.
"Maya - " Riley tried to talk more but Maya raised her hand to stop her.
"... Why? I mean, I know you've been having problems lately but... why?"
"It just happened, I swear!"
"Riley, cheating doesn't just happen, OK? You don't just slip and fall into someone's bed. It's a choice, you know that!" Maya scolded, gradually moving away from Riley.
"I know, you're right. You're right."
"When did it start?"
"October."
"Does anyone else know?"
Riley was silent. "Does Farkle know? Is that why he left like that this morning and at your party, last night?" Riley was still being mute and Maya was losing her patience. "Riley!"
"It's with Farkle."
All of the air escaped from Maya's lungs. "...W-what?" She sputtered, then angrily again, "... What?" Riley just crumpled into another cry. How could they lie? How could they do this to Lucas, to Smackle, to the group? Just... "How?"
"It was after y-your party. When he took me home, that was the first time. And we've tried to stop, peaches - "
"Do not call me peaches right now, Riley."
"Maya, we really tried but ... And he broke up with Smackle, last night and I just..."
"Of all the people in New York - all the people in the goddamn universe - it had to Farkle Minkus? Riley, it had to be your boyfriend's best friend?"
"Maya, it could have only been him!" Riley retorted hopelessly. "OK? Don't forget, he's my best friend too! I've known him all my life. I could never hurt him or say no to him. Farkle is the only person that could make me do something like this, make me leave Lucas because... I love him."
Maya swallowed her rising fury and slowly wagged her head. "I can't believe this."
"Maya, Maya, please. You cannot tell Lucas, OK? You just can't." Riley begged.
Maya looked at her best friend with disgust, "Don't worry, Riley. I'll keep your secret because that's all it will ever be. You're not going to leave Lucas, OK? You're going to stay with him and start being faithful to him. After graduation, whatever you do is your business but until then... it's over. You understand?" Randomly, Maya glanced down at Riley's neck that didn't have Lucas' locket but she recognized Farkle's NASA t-shirt. She exhaled harshly as her blood boiled.
When Riley nodded obediently, Maya popped up and stormed to her door, Riley called out, "Wait, Maya!" Maya twisted around to see Riley, pathetic and spent. "You said you could never hate me? You don't, right? You said you could never hate me."
After a moment, Maya carded a hand through her thick, blonde hair and sighed, "Riley, I still love you. I'm always gonna love you but... part of me," She shrugged her shoulders in defeat, holding back tears. "Part of me, wishes I could stop being your friend because you don't deserve it. I can't even stomach being around you right now, honestly, so." Maya pivoted around and swung her door open, a gale force of wind blowing.
When Maya left, Riley collapsed onto the floor. She held her face as tears dripped through the cracks of her fingers.
"Riley, what's going on? Maya just left like - " Cory came into the room and saw his daughter, frail and withered on the ground. He joined her and held her in his arms like a baby, cooing and rocking. Topanga stood in the doorway, mouthing to her husband, 'what's going on?' He just shook his head. Then, she sat on the other side of her daughter, softly singing her baby song, "You Are My Sunshine". It made Riley cry even harder: that was one of the songs on Farkle's list.
Notes:
AN: For those who are feeling really bad right now, here's a finalized list for Farkle's mix for Riley:
"Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5
"Home Is Right Out Your Window" - Paper Rival (Farkle's always right out her window)
"You Are My Sunshine" - Johnny Cash
"Mine" - Beyonce ft. Drake (Because Riley loves Queen B)
"The Scientist" - Coldplay
"If It's Not A Side Effect of the Cocaine, It Must Be Love" - Fall Out Boy
"Cosmic Love" - Florence + the Machine
"Nothing Can Change This Love" - Sam Cooke
Yeah, if you guys have been following my stories, I'm sure you know by now that I'm a music nerd. Anyway, one more chapter. If you like what you read, please review. Thank you.
Chapter 5: Hold It Together
Chapter Text
Farkle's mind was usually a maze. Full of twists, turns and calculus problems, just for fun. Feeling that his brain was the best thing about him, Farkle loved to exercise it, challenge it to make it the best it could be. This mess with Riley had it in a pretzel. What are the chances of him actually keeping his threat to stay away from her? Because they went to the same school and had the same friends, the results came to about a 34% chance. Not very good but also he could switch schools. Even in his senior year, Einstein Academy still sent newsletters and emails to recruit Farkle. Einstein was full of intelligent kids but having a genius heir to a Fortune 500 company graduate from their institution would certainly raise their value. OK, so now there was a much higher percentage of chance. After he transfers, Farkle will inevitably see the group less and less. Who knows, he could even make new friends with Smackle being his adviser. It seemed like Einstein Academy was his only hope.
Of course, it deeply saddened Farkle that the only way to keep everyone together relied on him being apart from the people he loved most. How would he explain this? Perhaps, Farkle could say that he was getting something there that he wasn't at Abigail Adams. Einstein Academy has an impeccable science and math program, more suited to his level. What were the chances of them buying that? 11% - best case scenario. Well, if they didn't believe him, he was sure Riley could make something up because she was so good at it. How he hated her in this moment for claiming to care for him but constantly putting his emotions last and being so selfish. And yet, Farkle was so madly in love with Riley, if she asked him to pull down Pluto from the sky for her right now, he'd do it in a heartbeat. Maybe if he did, she'd choose to be with him.
The boy laid on his bed, watching the shooting stars fly on his ceiling. In Farkle's room, a red light flashed above the door when someone wanted entry and the door was locked. The blinking light caught his attention. Farkle made his way to the door, half-hoping for it be Riley and half-hoping it wasn't Riley. The latter part of him was about to be very happy. It was Maya, looking completely incensed.
"May-" Farkle was about to greet her until her small and powerful fist made contact with his jaw. His tongue could taste the blood, she punched him so hard. Grabbing his chin, Farkle groaned, "Ugh, Maya, what the hell?!"
First, Maya shook out her right hand in regret. "Ah, that's my drawing hand, shit!" Then, she switched gears, "How could you do this, Farkle?! Both of you, how could you do this to Lucas and Smackle... and me?! How could you two lie to me?!" Maya cried, slamming the door behind her.
Farkle felt the side of his face beginning to swell but he was too focused on Maya's questions to care. When he left Riley, Maya came in. If she was asking these types of questions and if she was this angry, that could only mean one thing. "... Riley told you."
Maya scoffed, "Yes. She told me." The new information almost made Farkle's head explode. What could this mean? Could his ultimatum gotten to Riley? While he was lost in his thoughts, Maya charged toward him once more. "Farkle, how could you?"
Farkle dialed down his potential happiness to comfort Maya, "I don't know, Maya. I really don't."
"You don't know?" She didn't know if she was more upset about the obscurity of his answer or that she could tell that Farkle was being honest. "You're the genius! You're the one who has the all fucking answers and you don't know?"
"It just happened!" Farkle shook his head. Exhausted, Maya fell onto Farkle's mattress. Farkle invited himself to sit next to her. "I'm sorry, Maya. "
"How did it happen?" Maya asked, stern.
"... Riley didn't tell you - ?"
"No, she did. I heard her side and now I want to hear yours. Start speaking."
"It was after your birthday party. I was taking her home but her bay window was locked. We came back here and we were talking and she was crying. She kissed me, I kissed her back, one thing led to another... "
"So, she started it is what your telling me?"
Farkle closed his eyes and tried to explain, "We both started it - "
"She kissed you, right? First?" Maya cut him off, curt.
Farkle sighed, "Yes."
"So, she started it."
"Maya - "
"How many times have you and Riley had sex?"
"... I don't know."
"Farkle, I know you know."
"I don't see why that matters, Maya!"
"It matters to me because each time you did this, each time you and Riley hooked up, led to a deeper and deeper betrayal. One time? That's nothing. Three times? Worse, but fixable. There's a point of no return, Farkle. How many?"
Farkle stared down at his knees, "16 times."
"Six...teen...times?"
"Maya, it's not just about sex, OK? I'm able to tell her things that I thought I couldn't tell anyone. Not even Smackle, because she wouldn't understand." He rose to his feet. "I love Riley."
"You love me too!" Maya defended and sprouted up, making them face-to-face. "You said you've loved us both equally since we were in the first grade! Do you want to get in my pants?!"
"I know I've said that before and I still do! But equally doesn't mean the same!"
"That doesn't make any sense, Farkle!"
"Look, I love you, Maya. You're my oldest and best friend. You've always tried to protect me and keep me out of trouble. I love you like a sister. Riley and I... we're different but, it's like she teaches me things about myself I didn't know. She always wants me to be better but she doesn't want to change me. She accepts me and I accept her. I know I said that I loved you both the same way before, but it's changed now. I'm always gonna love you Maya but, I'm in love with Riley. "
Maya was sputtering, trying to find more reasons for him to see it her way. "So, Smackle doesn't accept you? Are you serious?" She tried to convince him with absurdity dripping in her voice. "Farkle, you and Smackle are the same person, practically!"
"And that's the problem! Like forces repel! You can't put two alike puzzle pieces together because they don't fit! I think me and Smackle were together because we bonded on the fact that we both felt like outcasts. The fact that we're both academic geniuses. The fact that we both had a hard time understanding feelings. We made sense, everything added up. I'm not saying our relationship isn't important to me; we made each other feel less alone when we both needed it the most. But in the end, we were together just because it was the most logical thing at the time. I don't want to be with someone because it's logical. Ever since this whole thing started, I haven't been able to think straight! I can't breathe when I see Riley and I can't breathe when I don't and I know that could be about my guilty conscience coming to drag me to hell but I don't think so, Maya. I want Riley. She's all I've ever wanted and now that I know what it's like to have her... I don't want to let her go. I can't. I won't. Not without a fight."
Maya absorbed his words, holding her aching head. After a few beats, Maya quietly pondered, "And what about Lucas, huh? Does all of this still matter to you when you think about how crushed he'll be? How he'll never want to be around you again? Is it worth it? Are you ready to lose all of your friends for this, Farkle?"
The boy gulped, averting his azure eyes that were glazing over, "Maya, I want to be happy. My true friends would want me to be happy. If I lose you guys because of this, then you weren't my true friends."
Maya snorted a sob. She was in awe of how he could easily say that she wasn't his friend, after everything they all went through. She responded, "Fine. You're right." Farkle looked up at her with hope but then she continued, "But, I want to be happy too, Farkle. My happiness is connected to all of my friends and that's something you obviously didn't care about! What about Lucas' happiness or Smackle? Do they matter? Do you care about anyone that's not Riley? No, right? So, I don't care about whatever feelings you may have because you didn't give a fuck about any of us when you chose to sleep with her! It's over. You and her are done, you hear me?!"
Trying to keep his voice strong, Farkle stood his ground, "Maya, I understand that you're hurt but you've no right telling me or Riley what to do."
"Oh, yes I do, Farkle!" She shot back. "Because now that I know about you two, I'm just as responsible for this! I'm an accomplice! You can't call the shots and neither can Riley, not without everything going up in flames. So, I'm taking charge! Riley already agreed."
"... Did she?"
"Yes. She's not leaving Lucas for you, Farkle. Not now." So, she's made her choice. There was no point in going to battle when the war was already lost. "You and Riley are just going to have to avoid each other. Things can't go back to the way they were, so you have to just avoid each other like the fucking plague until you get over this. You feel me?"
Farkle nodded, heartbroken. "OK."
"Good." Before making another thunderous exit, Maya turned back to glare at Farkle. "By the way, if any of this comes out, we're done too." By the struck look on his face, Maya kept explaining, "Riley is my family, Farkle. I know she played a part in this - probably a bigger one than you - but she's my sister. I love her too. So I know that sometimes, she can have her head in the clouds. You knew better, Farkle. You were supposed to bring her back down to earth but you didn't for your own selfish reasons. So, I hold you accountable because I can't lose Riley. But you?" She let the unspoken harshness float in the atmosphere as she shut the door.
Numb, Farkle walked back to his bed and opened his laptop. He typed in the web address for Einstein Academy. His phone buzzed with an incoming call from Riley Matthews. Farkle ignored it, in favor of calling Isadora Smackle. His thumb was over her name but decided not to press it. Even though they broke up amicably, he thought it might be insensitive to call asking about his prospective school.
He dialed another number instead. "Hello? Hello, is this the admissions office? Yes, I'm Farkle Minkus. May I talk to a transfer counselor, please?"
Maya Hart had turned into Big Brother. She was always watching. Her eyes were out for every glance and her ears were open for every word between Farkle and Riley, paying attention to subtext. Riley wasn't even allowed to text in front of her because just in case it was Farkle, she didn't want to be complicit in this. But, Riley tried to assure her best friend that she wasn't texting Farkle. He wasn't answering her anyway.
Farkle.
FARKLE.
CMON, FARKLE. WE NEED TO TALK.
you don't speak to me in school or in front of our friends. we're supposed to acting like normal. that's not normal!
you didn't mean what you said did you? we're really not friends anymore?
farkle please, i miss you.
i want you in my life, farkle. it can't stay like this.
The last text Riley sent him was the only one he saved:
i wish i knew my birthday was going to be the last time i'd kiss you.
But, Riley did try other ways to reach out to him. She tried popping up on him at his house but Farkle thought ahead to tell the guard that he didn't want visitors. In the only class they had together alone, AP History, she left a purple note on his desk that said she'd like to speak with him. Farkle crumbled the note in his fists with all his might, even Cory noticed.
"Whoa, what'd the paper do to you, Farkle?"
"Nothing, sir," He got up to throw the note in the recycling bin. "It's just trash." His blue eyes threw knives at Riley while he sat down. She sank down into her seat, feeling like she was becoming a puddle of despair.
A week later, Farkle had yet to break and Riley was a mosaic, which was obviously no good as she had to plan her annual New Years' Eve party. Because this was their senior year, Cory and Topanga allowed their daughter to have an unsupervised party with the condition that it could only be her closest friends. That was fine with her. She didn't feel like being around a lot of people lately.
Maya came over early to help set up. She didn't even ask if Farkle was coming. She thought it'd be counter-intuitive. The kid was supposed to be a genius, so surely he could figure out how to fake an illness. Make his nose red and get a frog in his throat, so on Facetime the ones who didn't know could never tell. Farkle was smart and more importantly, he was afraid of Maya. He'd do the right thing, she was sure of it. Her best friend Riley, however, was a different story.
On the outside, things looked fine but it wasn't hard to sense that something was still wrong. Their telepathy was still intact, although Maya was angry with her. She missed Farkle more than anything but she had to move on for the group's sake. Maya had said this to Riley, day and night until it became words from her own mind. For the group, for the group, for the group. Everyone who knows Riley, knows that she would do anything for her friends. She would die for them and not talking to Farkle was killing her slowly.
Three hours before midnight, all the friends minus Farkle gathered at the Matthews' home. They were all in their Saturday night's best, talking on the couch. Maya was technically the first to arrive. She was helping Riley get the place and herself ready, as promised. Next came Lucas and notably, Zay and Smackle came together. Word of the breakup between Farkle and Smackle reverberated through the group and Zay was the only one to call her to ask if she was OK. With the sweetest of intentions, he reminded her that although Farkle broke up with her (and was an idiot to do so) she'd always be his friend. As of now, the two were just that - friends. Still, it was clear that they had a particular growing fondness for each other.
The gang all lounged in the living area in excited conversation, itching for the new year to begin. When anyone brought up the subject of Farkle, Maya quickly answered that he wasn't coming because he got the flu. Most of the furrowed their brows because the genius was a health nut, everyone knew. He never got sick, but if he wasn't there it must be true. Lucas and Riley were cuddled next to each other. Lucas was trying to beat Maya at a game of Quarters, but his girlfriend was elsewhere, like she's been for months.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Five pairs of eyes flew to the door.
"Riley, did you invite anyone else?" Maya asked tentatively. The brunette shook her head and didn't even fight the smile that was forming because she knew that it had to be him. Maya did too, however. The two made a challenging look towards each other and raced to the door. Riley got there first and put a firm clutch on the knob, blocking Maya totally. The taller one yanked the door open, revealing Farkle looking dapper in a suit without a tie.
"Ladies," he said, with a deeper voice than five years ago.
"Farkle," the girls said. Riley was breathless and flushed with a tiny grin. Maya was boiling with steam coming from her ears, before she added, loud and clear, "I thought you were sick?"
Walking inside, he answered her in the same tone, mocking, "Well, I was but that Robitussin sure is a miracle." Maya scowled. Farkle turned towards Riley, who was holding in her lungs. He handed a bottle of 70 year old wine. "For the house."
"Thank you." Farkle nodded to Riley, trying not to notice the way she tucked a curl behind her ear and really not trying to notice the shine of Lucas' locket. Abruptly then, Maya tore Farkle away near the coat rack.
"What the hell, Minkus?!" She yelled in a whisper. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Spending New Years' Eve with people I care about. They're my friends too, Maya. Isn't that what you wanted, anyway? For all of us to be 'friends'?" He declared, staring her down. She frustratingly exhaled, rolling her eyes. "Besides, I want to soak in all the time I have left with them. I won't have much longer." He wasn't going to show but he was still dressed from his interview with Einstein Academy and he couldn't help but think about how much he'd miss everyone. Farkle glanced at Lucas, Zay and Isadora around the table of red cups. Smackle was plowing them at drinking games. Meanwhile, Riley was in the kitchen trying to be discreet with her gawking at the two, pretending to struggle opening the F&W red wine.
"Wait, what does that mean?" Maya questioned.
Farkle shook his head, "I'll tell you later." He left Maya to join the cheers of his name from the guys, while he greeted Isadora and she named him, 'ex-boyfriend.' That was to be expected. Riley isolated herself, watching the whole scene. Farkle and Lucas were shoulder to shoulder, laughing and reading something off Lucas' phone while her stomach turned. Her best friend joined her, wasting no time in pouring the wine in the chalice glasses. Maya gave one half-full one to Riley and saved the cup that was about to spill over for herself.
"This is going to be an interesting night, isn't it?" Riley quipped in a flat voice, still looking at Farkle. Or Lucas. She didn't know anymore.
"Mm-hmm." Maya affirmed. Then, they both took long gulps of wine at the same time.
An hour left until the new year and Riley didn't feel like throwing up anymore. Probably because she did already. Every time she thought about kissing Farkle, talking to Farkle, missing Farkle, she took a drink. She ingested the expensive wine and when that was done, she broke into her parents' Vodka. Tipsy, Riley tried to maintain some interest in her boyfriend Lucas, slurring about how pretty he was and how nice, how southern. He laughed kind of nervously and took the bottle of Grey Goose from her. Mrs. Matthews was going to flip when she saw all of her expensive liquor replaced with tap water. Then, Riley's stomach began to gargle angrily. She sped off to the bathroom and Maya was right behind her, telling Lucas that she had it. Riley knelt on the toilet and Maya held her hair back. As her friend was retching up some Ravoli, Maya listened as Riley drunkenly confessed the sick game she was playing. Maya sighed, not even knowing what to say or do anymore. Everything was a mess. Riley was a zombie, Farkle was slowly fading out of the picture and her other friends weren't dumb. Especially Lucas. They could tell something was going on.
Riley was rambling sadly about how she texted Farkle and she's sorry, she knows she wasn't supposed to but she misses him and did her hair always do that wavy thing it was doing right now? Maya exhaustively held her forehead. This was no way to start the new year and definitely, no way to end their last year of high school. Suddenly, Maya just held her friends face, inches away from her own so she would shut up, "Riles, please just hold it together tonight." She begged. "Tomorrow, we can talk about Farkle and what you want to do."
"But you said - " Maya hushed her obnoxiously noisy friend.
"I know what I said but... I can't see you this way anymore. Dr. Farklestein either. So, tomorrow, we'll deal but tonight... just hold it together, honey."
Riley's blushing face then screwed into a gushy smile, "You called me 'honey'. You haven't done that in forever! I love you!"
"OK, OK, I love you too, now c'mon let's get you cleaned up." Maya dragged Riley up to stand on her feet and they chose a new outfit for her to wear in her bedroom. A sheer black babydoll dress with metallic silver kitten heels, to match Lucas' accessory. Riley kept trying to rip it off, complaining she didn't want to wear it anymore because it was too heavy and gave her a rash but Maya made her keep it on. The girls walked into the living room to see Lucas and Zay playing Dance Dance Revolution. Lucas was not shy about his love for dancing with liquid courage. Smackle and Farkle were talking in a corner, near the Christmas tree. Riley made a glower towards them and Maya thought she might start barking angrily like a rabid dog. She held her shoulders, making her deep brown eyes read her lips.
"Hold. It. Together." Riley nodded obediently. "Good girl."
"Yo, Shortstack!" Lucas called to Maya. "You ready to dance?"
Maya gave Lucas a mischievous grin, "You ready to lose, Huckleberry?"
"Oh, I got your losin' right here, come on." She knocked Zay off the dance pad and kicked off her boots.
Riley noticed Farkle leaving Isadora and walking towards the kitchenette to get another drink. Holding it together, she followed him. He was her guest after all and it would be rude not to have one conversation with him in her home, right? Feeling Riley next to him, he instantly tensed up but kept his focus on pouring himself some water to balance his alcohol. Farkle never really got drunk but under the circumstances, it wasn't safe to do so now.
"So," Riley started.
"So," Farkle repeated, not looking at her.
"You and Isadora were talking for a long time. What about?"
A knowing smirk quirked at the side of his mouth, "Do you think you can ask me that?"
"No. But I am anyway." In an effort to be busy, Riley acted like she was washing dishes in her sink.
"Isadora asked me to be her prom date." Riley paused, then vigorously scrubbed the plate, aiming to make a hole through. "Does that upset you?"
Honestly, Farkle was surprised too; it was clear that she was getting closer to Zay and he didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings (another friend's feelings). Smackle explained that while Zay was an obvious choice, she wasn't sure how well he'd fit in with the other genius kids at Einstein Academy and she didn't want him to feel inadequate.
"Also, your friendship to me has been the most important of my years of growth. You have shown me many things, Farkle. Most importantly, that I can love someone. Therefore, it'd only be sensible for you to take me to the final prom."
Touched, Farkle said, "It would be my honor."
"I know."
Riley was growing increasingly agitated, "No, not at all. For why? For why would it upset me? I mean you did tell me you two broke up - "
"We did but we're still friends. We're not getting back together." Isadora made it clear that they were not going to be more than friends again, in case he was getting ideas. She was a shark and sharks don't swim backwards. Farkle noticed Riley's body relaxing. "But I did say yes because we're going to the same school soon."
"What do you mean?"
Farkle inhaled, "I'm transferring to Einstein, effective third quarter." He took a long sip of water.
"What?" Finally, Riley turned to face Farkle. "But, why?"
Farkle tried to suppress his annoyance with her oblivious question. He move closer to whisper, "C'mon, Riley! Why do you think?"
She swallowed her bottom lip to keep it from shaking, "Farkle, you can't leave. I won't let you."
"You had a choice before, Riley. You chose Lucas."
"But, I don't want you go."
"And so what? For once, Riley, you're not getting what you want. Deal with it." Farkle was colder than the new year's eve chill. Yet, Riley wasn't giving up.
"Farkle, please. Let's just go somewhere and talk - " She pleaded, reaching out to him and almost catching his sleeve. The young man dodged at the last second, understanding that if he let her even touch his clothes, his resolve would melt away instantly. So, he turned his attention to Maya jumping on Lucas' back because she swears he cheated and kicked her dance pad on purpose. "Hey, can I get next?" Watching him walk away from her, Riley closed her eyes, emotions bubbling like a volcano.
Hold it together. Farkle is leaving but hold it together. You love him and he doesn't want anything to do with you anymore but hold it together. He's being so cruel and he has a right to be. Like your meddlesome father, he's trying to teach you a lesson. He's only thinking of himself. He's trying to move on. Maya said you both can figure out what to do tomorrow, but tonight hold it together. Tomorrow might be too late. It might be too late tonight. Hold it together, it's for the group, hold it together.
Riley then realized, by "holding it together", she was falling apart. Everything was shattering around her and she couldn't take it anymore. Lucas was dancing with Farkle and then Lucas lost, with Maya cheering from the couch. This was the moment. She walked over, trying to gain a normal smile and rimmed her eyes of tears.
"Lucas?" She asked for her boyfriend.
"Yeah, Riley?"
"Can we go to the roof?"
"Oh yeah, it's almost midnight." Zay added, getting his coat.
"Actually, I'd like to go up and talk with him alone, if that's alright."
Maya, Farkle, Zay and Isadora glanced at each other, shrugging. "OK, sure."
"You guys come up right before the new year, OK?" The group agreed in confusion as Riley led Lucas to the rooftop of the building. Once there, Riley held herself from shaking with anticipation. She could barely feel the frozen air. Lucas then wrapped his muscular arms around her, misreading her body language.
"Another year, huh, Riley?" He made a smile and Riley twisted away from his embrace.
"Lucas... why do you love me?"
The usual calm and collected demeanor of Lucas Friar started to falter. "Honey, what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about why do you love me?" Riley challenged.
Lucas quirked a brow, not understanding Riley's riddle. She was chalk full of them, to him. "... I don't understand. Why are you asking me this? Did I do something wrong?"
"Why can't you just answer the question, Lucas?"
Struggling for an answer that might satisfy her, he managed, "Because, you know... you're Riley!"
"But what does that mean to you?"
"You're a ray of sunshine! You always brighten up every room you're in, you love making people feel good about themselves. You always lift me up when I need it. You're the sun." It was clear that he was trying to come from a loving place, but all his reply did was make Riley somewhat hurt and angry.
"... I'm not always like that, Lucas. I have dark. I have times where I get confused and lonely and sad but I try not to show them to you because... I know you won't like them."
Her boyfriend pursed his lips, "Riley. Our friends are here. It's New Years' Eve. Can we please talk about this later?" In the moonlight, her amber eyes flashed a bothered feeling and she clasped Lucas' silver heart. She investigated the swirls and grooves with her fingertips then, opened the locket. They looked so young inside.
"Lucas, why did you choose this photo?" Riley asked.
Irritated, Lucas threw his hands up, "Riley, wha - "
"I mean, you could have chose any picture. Junior Prom, a selfie, anything. Why this?"
"I-I don't know, I thought it was nice! It's my favorite picture." Lucas shook his head.
"But, no current pictures?" Riley said to herself, still looking down at her tiny, elated smile. "Lucas... I think this is the Riley you love."
"What do you mean?"
"You chose this picture because this is the Riley you love. Sunny, always 100% positive and 13. But, Lucas I'm not 13 anymore. I mean, I try to hold onto my former self, she still exists in some way but I can't be that person all the time because then I wouldn't be a person! I can't be a game show host every second of my life! I have to cry sometimes and be upset and whenever I am, you're never there!"
Even through Riley's glistening tears, Lucas couldn't hold in his offense, "Riley, that's not fair. You don't always come to me, it's Maya or Farkle. I've always been third fiddle to them and I never complained because I know how important they are to who you are. I've never been included in that."
"You never wanted to be! You only could deal with me when I'm 'Smiley Riley'. Whenever I was having a moment of insecurity or fear, in middle school or now, you wouldn't do much of anything! You might say some encouraging words and give me a hug or a kiss but you didn't talk to me. You don't talk to me, unless you need some confidence."
His fists balled up, "So, what are you saying, Riley? I'm using you? After three years, that's the conclusion you make about our relationship? About me?"
"No, no, I just think that you don't love me for the right reasons... Just like I don't love you for the right reasons." After looking at each other what felt like the first time, Riley reached for the clasp on the nape of her neck.
"Riley, what are you doing?"
"I'm giving you your heart back." She retorted, plain as day.
"Riley, come on-"
"Look, you said it at Maya's party, OK?! You knew that this was coming, Lucas. I think that maybe, you didn't want to happen so soon or even, that you didn't want to be the one broken up with." Lucas scoffed in disdain and looked upon the neighboring apartment building because although she was being harsh, he knew it was true: their breakup was coming and he wanted to be the one to do it, for obvious reasons. Lucas wanted to accept this and tell her she was right but he couldn't shake the feeling of sadness and disappointment in her words. Maybe it was true that he liked her best when she was peppy and his number one fan but isn't that what good relationships are? Couples who never fight? Couples who know when to step back and give the other space? Couples who say sorry, even when they're not or they don't understand why they should? Lucas didn't want to accept his failure as a boyfriend to Riley, not when he felt that he did everything he was supposed to. He always regarded her feelings, even when she didn't do the same for him. On top of this, he had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to what was going on.
She held out the necklace in her hand, with tears streaming down her ruddy face and Lucas backed away. "No."
"No?"
"No! This is bullshit, Riley! I didn't do anything to deserve this!" Suddenly, Lucas' face became hardened with anger. "You know I didn't! Why are you breaking up with me?"
"Because I need to, Lucas please," Riley was beginning to sob. The locket was shaking in the air as she held it out to him.
"You need to? What the hell does that mean?! Stop trying to give that necklace back! You wanted to talk so bad? Well, talk now! Finally tell me what's been happening with you. Why are you doing this?!"
The heavy metal door to the rooftop opened and the rest of the friends entered the scene. Observing that Riley was crying waterfalls and an angry Lucas had made a comeback, Zay carefully asked, "... What the hell is going on here?"
"I don't know, Riley's trying to break up with me and she won't say why!" Maya made a cross glance to Farkle who could only focus on miserable Riley. It took everything in him not to console her but then Zay made his way to the brunette, putting a friendly arm around her.
"I told you why, Lucas." Her voice quaked.
"And I told you, bullshit, Riley!" Riley had never felt so unprotected by Lucas' presence.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Zay tried to mediate. "Let's just calm down..."
"Something else is going on and she's not telling me!" Lucas turned on his heel to see Farkle and Maya standing side by side. Guns blazing, he strode to them, declaring, "You two must know something. Maya? What's going on?"
The blonde raised her hands as a white flag, "Lucas, you need to relax, OK? You're not helping anyone by getting like this, especially not yourself."
"If this is how I'm gonna get answers, then this is how it has to be." After their staring match, he ignored Maya and put his eyes on Farkle with laser beam focus. "Farkle? Do you know anything?" The skinny boy looked terrified as strong Lucas stalked closer to him, intimidatingly slow. Smelling his fear and seeing his Adam's apple gulp, Lucas made the grin of a villain.
"So, you do know something."
"No, no, I - " Farkle insisted, his voice barely there.
"Farkle, you're lying."
Riley was crying louder, unable to speak as Lucas was nearing the truth. Maya held herself and closed her eyes, waiting for the bomb to drop. It would only be a matter of time now.
"Farkle. Farkle, you're my friend. You know something. Tell me. Please." If he didn't look so big at the moment, Farkle would have seen it as Lucas begging but it just felt like commands. Farkle wasn't drunk but he never felt so incoherent in his life. His mind was racing, flicking between different thoughts every second.
Truth. Lucas. Riley. Smackle. Riley and Lucas. Riley and me. Smackle and me. Smackle. Lucas. Lucas and me. Lucas and Smackle. Love. Riley. Riley and me. Truth. Friends. Love.
"Farkle...?"
Riley and me. Love. Friends. Truth. Truth. Truth.
"Farkle!"
In a blurb, Farkle exploded, "Riley and I have been seeing each other!"
Then, there was what may have been the quietest moment in New York on that New Years' Eve. Complete silence. Tears discreetly fell from Riley's chin, gazing at Farkle. He hastily looked to her then back to Lucas' bewildered expression.
"What?" Lucas smiled, laughing with no joy. He just couldn't believe it. "You and, and Riley? You're joking, right? You-you've got to be joking."
Slowly, Zay took his arm back, looking at Riley in a new way, "I... I don't think they are, man."
"What? Come on," Lucas jested, shaking his head. "No. No..." His amusement and disbelief vanished, seeing Farkle's eyes glisten.
"I'm sorry, Lucas." Smackle. He turned around and saw Smackle peaking behind the door like a frightened child. Her lower lip pouted and she shook her head at Farkle. "Isadora, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" She ran away and without another word, Zay followed her down the steps.
Riley, Lucas, Maya and Farkle stood on the roof, with the cheers and sounds of the city ringing in the new year. Lucas was the first to speak again.
"So, it's true. It's real? You slept with Riley?" Farkle didn't use those exact words but his eyes on the ground said it all. "And you knew?" Just as she predicted, Maya was partially being blamed for this major indiscretion.
Her mouth opened, but Farkle interrupted, "No. She didn't. We kept it a secret from Maya."
Lucas' jaw worked, completely thrown at the universe's events, "Was it like... a one-time thing?"
"... No. More than once."
Lucas nodded, bitter. "How long?"
"Since - Since Maya's birthday party."
Tilting his head in realization, Lucas added, "The night when Riley and I had that fight? And you said you'd fix things?" Lucas sucked his teeth when Farkle bowed his pitiful head, "And you did, huh? Yeah, you fixed her real good, didn't you?" Lucas began to shuffle toward Farkle on the attack. By now, it had been long established that Lucas had anger issues. They reached their peak in middle school, when Zay was shooting off at the mouth like always but then the racist boy just had to call him the n-word. Lucas made that kid's face look like an Austin sunrise in the summertime and he got expelled from school for it. Back then, that was in defense of his best friend but this time, it was his friends who turned on him and the hurt he felt made him want to explode. Right now, Lucas was like a bull and Farkle was only red.
Riley stood catatonic, covering her mouth and the sounds of her bawling while Maya jumped on Lucas' back to stop him. She knew she wore her leather hot pants for a reason tonight, instead of a skirt.
"Get offa' me, Maya!" Lucas barked and bucked like a stallion.
"No! I won't let you hurt Farkle, even if he deserves it! Hitting him won't make you feel better!" She shouted. She should know.
Lucas blew smoke through his nostrils, looking to Farkle who was about to dissipate into air, "How could you do this? I trusted you! You were my friend! You were my best friend!"
"I am your friend! I'm sorry, Lucas! I don't know what to say except I'm sorry!" Farkle admitted tearfully. Just in time as Lucas was about to break free from Maya, Zay ran back up to the roof knowing it could not have been going well. Seeing his best friend in major distress, he put his hands on his shoulders, blocking him from Farkle who never moved once.
"Luke! Lukey! Lukey, look at me!" After a minute, rage in his green irises, Lucas looked down to his peaceful friend. "Look, I know a lot of fucked up shit is going on right now and I don't blame you for wanting to hit someone," Zay pointedly glared at Farkle before continuing, "But this isn't you. Don't let this make you go back to Texas. You're better. Rise above, man. Rise above." Lucas' heart began to pump slower and float down, back into his chest. He heaved, taking deep breaths and keeping his eyes on Zay. When he composed, Zay said to Maya, "I think you can get down now, Maya."
Reluctantly, she got off Lucas' back. The only thing Lucas wanted to do in that moment was hit Farkle but, he's moved on from letting his fists doing the talking. He pat Zay on the back for being there and was about to make his exit with Zay behind him, until he looked back at Riley and Farkle one last time.
"I don't want to speak to either of you for as long as I live. And even after that." The venom in his voice was so penetrating, neither of them felt they would recover. After Zay and Lucas were gone, Maya stood near the door, looking at the two boys descend down the staircase then, looking to her best friends.
"Shortstack!" Lucas' voice echoed in the hallway. "You comin'?"
Maya gulped at the lump in her throat. She's never felt so torn but this became exactly what she feared: a tug of war. Her eyes began to well as she frowned at Riley and Farkle. "I'm coming!" And then, she was gone.
Then, there were two.
Farkle edged toward Riley. The sight of her outpouring tears made him instantly outstretch his arms and take her against his chest. She fell into him, holding him tighter than her favorite disfigured bear. She began to hiccup in his neck and his hushed her, petting her hair. "The worst is over, babe. It's over."
It began to snow. The locket was forgotten on the pavement of the rooftop, being covered by snowflakes.
Chapter 6: Rebuild
Summary:
I was going to wait to post the ending but I already gave Fanfiction.net the finale, so I thought why not just close it on up.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was a new day but nothing changed. The sun came up, just like the day before. The only difference was that Riley had to get up with it. School started again and life had to keep moving. Riley barely left her bed after the year began. Getting ready, Riley felt entirely out of body. It was if she was watching this pitiful girl, drag herself around. She picked out her clothes and brushed her teeth. Sitting in her bay window, Riley didn't know what she was waiting for. It wasn't like Maya was coming to walk her to class. She went with Lucas on New Years' and that was the last Riley heard from her. New Years' Eve was the last she heard from everyone, including Farkle. She remembered him taking her back to her room and they cuddled on her bed. When she woke up, he was gone. She wasn't really mad about it. Somehow, Riley felt that she was all out of words anyway.
Suddenly, Riley heard the window slide open as she was combing her hair. Twisting in her chair, she saw Farkle put on long leg inside her room, then another.
He made a smile at her and that's all it took to bring tears to her eyes. Riley ran to him and threw her arms around his lanky stature. He held her tight and kissed her forehead. Farkle sighed, swaying her gently in his arms, "You know, I hate that you being upset about something is what brings us together all the time. "
Buried in his neck, Riley made a little laugh, "I'm not crying because I'm sad, you maroon. I'm crying because I'm happy to see you." She backed away to wipe the tears from her face and Farkle helped. "I thought you were going to Einstein..."
"What? Did you really think I'd leave you after what happened on New Years'?" He held her face. "And, I'm sorry for not calling you over the past few days. I just - "
"No, no, it's better that you didn't. I think we all just kind of... needed some space."
"And did that work for you?" He asked, hopeful.
Riley sucked in her lips and guided Farkle to her bed with a grin, "I have an idea."
"OK." Farkle said, a bit skeptical.
"Let's not go to school today!"
"Riley - " Farkle shook his head.
"No, listen! It's the first day after break and everyone is still in their Holi-daze! Teachers are going to show movies, kids really aren't going to care! We don't have to go, you never missed a day of school in your life! Let's treat this as Senior Ditch Day!"
"But it's not." Farkle took the liberty of carrying Riley's book-bag and pulling Riley to the window. "C'mon."
Riley planted her feet to the floor, "Farkle! I don't want to go!"
The frightened tone of voice compelled the man to look into her scared, doe eyes. "You're not ready to face everyone yet." He concluded.
Riley gulped and looked like she was far away, recalling the last night she saw all her former friends. "They hate us, Farkle. I can't get the look on everyone's face out of my head. Lucas wants to kill you and Smackle will never talk to us again. The whole school will never talk to us again after this gets out! We'll be pariahs!"
Farkle's heavy head went to one side, full of thought. "Riley... Riley, you want this right?"
"What?" Riley asked, small.
"You want this? Us? This wasn't some... Sassy Halter-top takeover of your instincts?"
"No, Farkle. I-I do want to be with you, I'm just - "
"Because, I would never want to push you into anything that you didn't want. I didn't want to force you to be with me; only to make a decision. On New Years' - that wasn't me trying to trap you. I would never do that."
"I know that! Of course, I know that." Riley held his face.
In turn, Farkle did the same to her again. "Good. Then you should also know that I would never let anyone say anything bad about you." Riley's expression softened to a loving smile in his hands. "I know people are going to say things, like they know what happened but none of that really matters. All that matters is you and me."
"But what about Lucas and Smackle... And Zay and Maya... ?" She rubbed her fingers over his knuckles.
Farkle stared at his shoes before answering, "They're our friends, even if they hate us right now. Once they see how much we care about each other and that we're for real, they'll understand. They will come around with time."
"... And if they don't?" The thought of not being able to talk to them ever again in life brought tears to Riley's eyes once more. Even Farkle got a lump in his throat thinking about it.
"Then..." he swallowed back the shakiness in his voice. "We blew up the world as we know it, right? Now, we're entering a new territory. It's going to be strange and seemingly uninhabitable at first but I have faith that together we can do anything. We're partners, after all. So," Farkle let go of her face and stepped back.
"You. Me. Mars." Farkle held Riley's hand. "Let's do this thing."
On the way to school, Riley never let go of Farkle's hand as if she was a frightened toddler. She squeezed especially tight before they entered Abigail Adams. They held their breath, opening the door and taking the plunge. It felt like all conversation stopped as soon as they walked in and they became the new topic. He figured maybe a few people would know, but this was ridiculous.
So, Friar is single.
How could anyone leave Lucas for anyone? I mean, Farkle Minkus? OK, Riley. I guess.
Well, Farkle's gotten a lot cuter over the years though! And he's crazy rich!
But he's still not Lucas.
True...
"Is it too late for pseudo-Ditch Day?" Farkle whispered.
The sides of Riley's mouth almost lifted until she saw Maya coming toward them. "Maya!" Even with the dejected look on the blonde's face, she was still happy to see her. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
Maya's eyes saw their hands clasped together and she turned to Riley, "You couldn't just wait, Riles, huh?"
"Wait, what?" Farkle asked, puzzled.
"Well, I hope you two are very happy together." Maya huffed and the new couple watched her go to Lucas and Zay at the end of the hall. It couldn't be made out what was being said but it wasn't hard to guess, after the way the native Texans threw daggers with their stare.
Riley slumped against her boyfriend as they walked to History, "Farkle, remember when you said that over time, they'd come around?"
"Yeah?"
"Build a time machine."
"You're the boss." Farkle grinned, putting his arm around her and pecking her forehead with a kiss.
Cory was writing on the chalkboard when he saw his daughter and his favorite student walk in, hand in hand. He makes a comical exaggeration of wiping his eyelids with his fists, complete with squeaking noises.
As they sat down, Cory strode toward them, pointing at their fingers laced together still. "Huh."
"Yes?" Riley mocked him.
"So, this is a thing?"
"Yes."
"Farkle?"
"Yes." Riley turned around to smile at the genius and returned it with a subtle wink.
"... Lucas?" Riley cleared her throat and shook her head. Taking in the new world with his own eyes, Cory nodded at them and refocused his attention to his blackboard. "I continue not to understand anything," he muttered, writing the words 'Belgium 1831'.
"Us too." Farkle confessed under his breath, squeezing Riley's hand.
Soon, the cold months began to thaw into spring. The graduating class was sick with Senioritis, as college acceptance and rejection letters were making their way to their homes. Friends and classmates gathered closer to each other as the next chapter of their lives was too close to starting. Meanwhile, Maya knew that everyone in her circle were just drifting further and further apart. Riley and Farkle became inseparable but this was partially due to no one wanting to talk to them. At least, not while Lucas was around.
Seniors' schedules become more flexible to their interests. This meant the only time they were all together was at lunch and with the new world order, of course, that had turned to shit. Farkle would pick Riley up after his Physics class and her Drama course, letting them get to the cafeteria first. Next, Lucas would show up. After getting his food, he'd walk straight pass them without pause to another table. Zay sat with him. Lastly, Maya stood looking at her four best friends on opposite ends of the room.
Sometimes, Riley encouraged Maya to go sit with Lucas and Zay with a small nod in their direction, just so she wouldn't have to feel bad. That only made her feel worse. She felt so drained from it, having to choose between Lucas and Riley. She couldn't talk about one person in front of the other. If one of them asked her to hang out, she had to oblige to whomever did first and usually, that would be Lucas now. Riley had less time devoted to Maya, as she was exploring the new world with Farkle. So, it all would come down to lunch. Finally she just gave up and decided to eat outside. It was around 60, a pretty nice day. She bit the plastic off her straw, about to sit down on the bench when she realized one of her friends already beat her to the punch.
Zay gazed at Maya with a goofy grin, "Lovely weather we're having."
The girl cracked a smile and joined him. "Felt a little claustrophobic in there."
"So I've noticed." He sighed, opening a bag of chips.
"Should we feel a little bad about leaving Lucas?" Maya questioned.
"Mm-mm." Zay shook his head. "Lord knows since we're not in there, all the girls will flock to him. Even more now, since he got all Wolverine." Zay made claws with his hands and roaring noises but then, teased her with a nudge and a smirk, "but I bet you noticed that already."
Since blocking Riley and Farkle out of his life, Lucas had a lot of free time. When he wasn't participating in school sports or with Zay and Maya, he lived at the gym and it showed well, along with the beginnings of a beard. Possibly, it was because his ex-girlfriend always liked him shaven but he insisted that he just needed a change.
Maya narrowed her blue eyes at him, before opening her pudding cup. "Things can't go on like this. They just can't."
"We don't have a choice. This was a secret that had to come out eventually, no matter how hard you tried to stop it." Maya made a confused look to Zay, who tilted his head towards her knowingly. "Come on, Maya. You're their best friend. Of course you knew about this."
"And... you didn't tell Lucas?" Her voice was fragile.
"No," Zay declared, munching on a Dorito. "He's been through enough."
Maya gave herself splinters, gripping the bench they sat on. She didn't meet Zay's eyes letting tears fall on her jeans, "I told them to stop, Zay. As soon as I found out, I told them to stop."
"I know you did, Maya." He comforted.
"I even punched Farkle in the face."
"Oh, shit. Word?" Zay raised his eyebrows.
Maya sniffed and wiped her nose with a napkin that Zay gave, "I was just so angry at how they could just push everyone else aside! Be so selfish, like nobody else matters but them. They knew what this was going to do to our friends and they didn't care. They don't care. How can they not care?"
"I don't think it's that simple, Maya. I mean, I appreciate your passion but feelings are pretty damn strong. We can fight them for as long as we're able, but they always win in the end." Zay took a watchful beat before added, "Like your feelings for Lucas, for example."
Maya froze before rolling her puffy eyes, "Zay, what the f-"
"OK, OK, before you put your little walls up, just hear me out." He turned to Maya, rubbing his hands on his thighs before carefully explaining. "This is what I - Zay Babineaux - have observed: you and Riley are best friends - "
"You're all my best friends - " Maya objected.
"Zzzzzip." Zay shushed her. "We are all your best friends but you and Riley created the definition of best friends. You two would walk through Hell for each other. Steal and kill. Anything. Even when she's not acting like your best friend and being a jerk, you stand by her. You care about her more than anyone. So, how telling is it that you're not with her right now, when she could really use you, when she needs you. You're with Lucas. Giving all your time to make sure he's all right."
She shook her head, making excuses, "I-I didn't want Lucas to think that I thought what Riley and Farkle did was OK - "
"So, you care about what he thinks more than Riley? Huh. Look, all this self-sacrificing... it's killing you, Maya. You gotta think about yourself for once. You deserve to be happy."
"Stop it, OK?!" Maya ordered him. "I don't - I'm not... You're being ridiculous, Zay, OK?"
Seeing her turn her head and wiping her face of more tears, Zay gave in, "Yeah, yeah. Maybe I am." A few moments of silence went by as Zay smoothed out his mashed potatoes with a spork and Maya stared out into the horizon.
After making a deep sigh, Zay casually revealed, "Farkle tried to talk to me." Maya turned to him attentively. "In gym."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," a hummed chuckle vibrated against his throat. "We were running track and you know Farkle; he's not an athlete. When he participates, he does the bare minimum but yesterday... he might as well have been the fucking Flash. He kept up with me the entire time and when we got to the finish line, he told me he missed me and that he was sorry."
"And what did you say?"
"That I was sorry and that I missed him too. Then, I walked away... The look on his face, it was awful but I didn't have a choice. Not while Lucas is still hurt."
"And Smackle." Maya added but Zay shook his head.
"No, she's OK now."
"How do you know?"
"She told me."
A Cheshire cat grin came to Maya's face as she jested, "Ooooh. You two have talking a lot lately, haven't ya?"
Zay made a shy smile, "We're going to prom."
"Ooooooooh." Maya sung, while Zay reached in his back pocket. He took out his phone and went to his messages.
"She sent me a screenshot of this long-ass apology Farkle sent her." Showing Maya the texts, Zay's finger scrolled at least four times before getting to the end where Smackle replied, "OK."
"OK? That's it?" Maya said out loud.
"Well," Zay sighed, putting his phone back in his jeans. "I think if you know Smackle, then you know an 'OK' is as good as anything else. Speaking of which... Riley also went to Einstein and apologized to her."
"What? Without me?" Maya squinted.
"Or Farkle."
Riley stuck out like a sore, purple thumb in the sea of Einstein Academy students in green. At the end of the steps, Smackle saw her waiting expectantly and fidgeting. Surprised, she slowly went to meet Riley on the sidewalk.
Perplexed, Smackle's eyebrows knotted, "What are you doing here?"
"Hi, Isadora - "
"Smackle." She corrected firmly. She considered her Isadora to be an affectionate nickname that family and close friends could call her. She was formally 'Smackle' to everyone else.
"Smackle." The soft smile Riley once wore faded a bit. "I was hoping that I could talk to you privately? Please, I promise it won't take too long."
Staring down at her watch, she told her, "You have five minutes. Starting... now."
Riley took a large breath and released a tangent of words, barely sounding intelligible. Her voice was sped up to 1000 WPM. It was like watching a cartoon come to life. Her hands stretched and waved to dramatize how sorry she was. All of the emotion, all of the feelings, it was shooting Smackle's brain cells down one by one. Even with the dressing of theatrics, she could still understand of the meaning of Riley's method: she really wanted her to know that she cared.
With an eye-roll, Smackle held up a hand, giving the command, "SHUT UP!"
Riley sucked in a gasp, "Are my five minutes up?"
"No, I just couldn't listen to you anymore. 'You're sorry, you're sorry blahblahblah.'" Smackle answered, getting face to face with Riley. "I've thought about this and I should punch you. I should punch you in your throat to knock you out cold, then leave you in a baby pool with snapping turtles!"
"... You've thought about this."
Straightening herself, Smackle replied, "Yes. I should punch you and be upset and perhaps, do the normal things teenage girls would do in this situation because... you hurt me. You've hurt me very, very badly." Riley whimpered, feeling so ashamed while Smackle still stood tall and confident.
"Smackle -"
"BUT... After the hurt and feelings of betrayal, I realized that... this was meant to happen. Not you being a trollop and stealing my boyfriend but... I think you and Farkle are meant to be together. I think... I always knew that in the deep, deep recess my psyche. I mean, if we were to do an experiment, in a simulation of a burning building and he could only choose one of us, I know who he'd choose and it wouldn't be me. Maybe if it were me and Maya. Maya, I could probably beat but not you, Riley. I could never compete with you and I never want to. I shouldn't have to.
Farkle and I: we're good together. But you two make each other better. You need one another. It's stronger than science; it's a fact. It's... unconditional, uncontrollable love. Farkle has meant a lot to me and I did love him but not the way I should love someone I want to spend forever with. He's my best friend, not my soulmate. But you love him in a forever way, right? He's your soulmate?"
"... Yes. Yes, I do and he is."
"You better. You better do right by him, Riley because... he always wants to do right by you. It's the most important thing to him, to do right by you and it's the only way I'll forgive you."
"So... you forgive me?"
"... Yes. I do."
"OH, SMACKLE!" Riley was about to attack her with a hug while crying nearly hysterical, but Smackle stopped her.
"AH! YOU CAN CRY OR YOU CAN HUG ME BUT YOU CAN'T DO BOTH!" Smackle warned her but Riley still shrouded her in a monster hug and cried big tears at the same time.
"I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HELP IT!" She sobbed.
Smackle sighed and patted her back, "... I know."
Listening to how Riley was brave enough to go to Smackle alone should have made Maya proud and it did but it also made her feel worse. She was missing so much time with Riley because of catering to Lucas and because Riley wanted her to cater to Lucas because they both want him to be OK. Hanging out with Lucas and helping him forget by making fun of him and watching him laugh was really good but that still didn't fill the hole of Riley. Maya needed all of her friends together again.
"All right, Zay. This needs to stop." Maya said, final and serious.
"I know! They changed the formula of this Sloppy Joe and it's all watery -"
"That's not what I - "
"I know what you meant, Maya." Zay groaned with a comforting smile. "Don't worry about it; I got a plan."
"You do, huh? ... Is it stupid?"
"Oh, it's definitely stupid."
All they had to do was get to the lunch room before Lucas and all sit together at the same table, like nothing happened at all. Zay thought, maybe, seeing them all together would make his best friend let go of his resentment and maybe, just maybe, forgive them. It was beyond stupid. Zay's plan was so incredibly simple that a preschooler could have come up with it. Farkle burned holes into it until there was nothing left and even optimistic Riley had doubts but as Zay pointed out, what did they have to lose?
Farkle and Riley arrived at the cafeteria first anyways and Zay and Maya decided they could just cut their classes. Who needs Art and Accounting anyway? Well, they both did but they were doing well enough they thought they could miss a day. They would have been reveling in their first time back together in months if they weren't so anxious about Lucas.
To make matters worse, Riley had to start crying before he could even show up.
Sitting across from her friend, Maya reached out and held her hand. "Riles, are you crying?"
Farkle put his arm around her as she explained, "It's just... I'm so happy that I'm sitting across from your lovely faces, instead of tables away."
"Aww..." Farkle and Maya swooned in unison. Zay was less empathetic.
"No! Ain't no 'aww's'! Ain't no tears on Game Day! Now, ya'll just stop it! Stop it right now!" Zay pointed to Riley. "You wipe those tears and show your game face."
Riley sat up and tried to do as she was told, showing teeth and clawing, "Grrr!"
Zay's coach demeanor turned soft as he tilted his head, "Aww..."
They were all laughing together again, until they caught Lucas just staring at them with his tray in his hands. The plan was so one-point, that no one actually thought of what to say when he came to the table. Simultaneously, Zay and Maya looked at each other and both rose to meet their confused friend as Riley and Farkle just watched.
"Hey, buddy," Zay carefully approached the unreadable Lucas. "I see you got some pizza there. Cheat day?"
"Seems so, with the company you've decided to keep." Lucas answered smugly.
"Oh, come on, man. Don't be like that-"
"How else do you want me to be, Zay? How else did you guys expect me to be?" When his anger turned to Maya as well, she looked down.
"Man, look. You are my best friend in the whole world, OK? But you came here and you made new best friends. I didn't like them because I thought they took you away from me. But then, you forced me to give them a chance. You made me get to know them and all their crazy and eventually, they became my best friends also. I love these people, Luke and that's because of you. Deep down, I know you miss them and still love 'em too. We only have a few more months left and then it's all over. You don't really want to spend it this way... do you?"
Lucas hated all this pressure. It wasn't fair. He wasn't the one who was wrong. He was voice was quiet and firm, "Ever since I got here, no matter what happened or what anybody said or what I wanted - I was the bigger person. I felt like I had to be the bigger person. No more."
Before he could walk away, Maya put her tiny hand on his thick arm. "Wait, Lucas! OK, so they fucked up - big deal! Everyone fucks up! You know this better than anyone! They're sorry and they want to make things right so just fucking let them, OK?! I need all of my friends, Lucas. I need you all together. Don't make me choose! Stop making me choose..."
Seeing how tearful and vulnerable Maya was becoming, Lucas ruefully frowned. He wanted to set his pride aside but it grew bigger than that now. This hurt festered and he wasn't sure if he could cure it, not even for Zay and Maya.
Lucas leaned down to whisper, "I would never make you choose, Maya. You know you're my friends, no matter where you guys sit. But... " His eyes met Riley and Farkle, "But I just can't." Lucas strode away from Maya's grasp and went to the outside corridor. Defeated, the two went back to the table.
"Well, we tried." Zay sighed, opening his milk carton.
"So, this is it? This is just how things are going to be from now on?" Riley urged. Maya carded a hand through her hair and shrugged. Zay sipped his milk and shook his head. Meanwhile, Farkle narrowed his eyes in thought before rising from his seat. Pensively, he put his finger to his lips.
"Farkle?" Riley tugged at his sleeve. She smiled up at him and he gently touched her cheek.
"Guys," he announced to the table. "Whatever happens out there, promise me you'll let it happen. Don't get scared, don't interfere. Just... let it happen." Farkle quickly walked to the corridor where Lucas was. Maya, Riley and Zay made hasty, worried glances at each other before treading after him.
Lucas was eating an apple on the bench, overlooking the skyline before he heard Farkle's voice call him. "Lucas!"
He stopped chewing and grinned to himself, shaking his head. "You know, for being a genius, you can be really dense, man. You are literally the last person I wanted to follow me out here."
"I have some things to say to you." Seeing him rise and rub the food residue from his strong hands cut Farkle's confidence a bit but he continued to stand tall.
Lucas still had that shark's smile on his face as he scoffed and crossed his arms, "Really? You have things to say to me? This should be fun."
"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about how things happened with Riley and that you're still upset over it. But, I'm not sorry that it happened. I'm not sorry that I'm the one whose with her now."
"OK, I'm done." As he tried to pass Farkle, boldly the boy stood in his way.
"Just because you two have the same values and interests, doesn't mean you two belong together. Relationships should be easy; you don't work for them, you make them work for you. And let's be honest, you barely worked for Riley."
"Farkle... get out of my way." Lucas warned him. Farkle could feel his fury levels climbing but it wasn't enough yet.
"I mean, let's really face it: every time something went wrong in your so-called 'relationship' instead of going to Riley, you would always come to me, Maya or Zay asking for help. If not being able to talk to each other is your idea of a perfect relationship, that's pretty messed up-"
"Farkle, shut up..." Lucas gritted. Almost there...
"And then, there was the whole triangle bullshit!" He stepped closer to his burning green eyes. "Not only did you string my two best friends along for a year but it was so disrespectful to both of them! I get that they're both amazing but how did you think they felt when you did that? What did you think that did to their self-esteem? Riley cried about it more than once, did you know that? Of course not. Because you don't think about her. You never thought about their feelings! You don't deserve either -"
Suddenly, Farkle felt Lucas' hands slam him against the brick wall. The Texan effortlessly held him against the building with his fists in his shirt. Farkle could see his eyes getting glassy.
The others kept themselves hidden, secretly observing the whole scene from behind the door. When Maya had enough, she was going to intervene but Zay held her back.
"Wait. Let's just trust him and see what happens." He insisted, for Maya to shoot back, "there may not be anymore Farkle to trust by the time this is over! Right, Riley?" She turned and saw her best friend's wide, puffy eyes.
"Let's trust him." She repeated in a quiver.
Lucas' voice was sinister and deep, "I could break you like a toothpick right now."
Farkle struggled for air underneath Lucas' crushing force but still, he challenged, "Then do it. You have every right. I'll make sure you won't get into trouble for it. If you really want to hit me, then hit me."
Lucas' chest heaved as all of his hot air escaped through his nostrils and ears. His hands shook with anticipation to follow orders and his volcanic emotions and undo all the progress he made since he got to New York. Instead, gradually, Lucas let Farkle go from his clutches. Exasperated, Lucas went back to the bench and cradled his head.
Farkle's color came back as he was able to breath properly again, "You can't do it, can you?"
Lucas made a frustrated sigh and shook his head, "I... I never wanted to fight you, I guess. I just-"
"You just didn't know how else to get me to feel how you were feeling." Farkle joined him on the bench.
Lucas dryly chuckled, "God, why do you have to be so fucking smart all the time?"
Farkle shrugged one shoulder with a small smile, "It's just who I am. Like, how you can't help but be the bigger person because that's who you are, or who you became which is even better. You had to work for it, earn it. You changed and it didn't happen overnight. Almost like... me and Riley's feelings for each other."
Lucas rolled his eyes and turned his head away, "Farkle, I'm not mad that you're with Riley. Not anymore, really. It's how you guys did it. You lied to me, you betrayed me. Betrayed our friendship."
"We didn't plan it, it just happened!" Farkle pleaded to him. "And I know that's not good enough an excuse or reason, but it's the only one I got. Look, I can accept change. It's something that's never going to stop being apart of life but I can't... I can't accept you not being my friend, Lucas. That's the thing I will continuously fight for, the people I love. I'm sorry. We're sorry. Please forgive us."
Lucas saw Farkle near tears and all his friends behind them in the same way. He licked his lips and stood up, over Farkle. Farkle popped up, to wait for his reaction. Then, he saw his hand gently extend to in his direction. A tear dropped as he looked down, then back to Lucas' calm face. Happily, Farkle shook Lucas' hand.
"I forgive you." Lucas stated. In joy, Zay took both the girls by their shoulders and brought them in for a hug, kissing their foreheads. "But, we can't friends again. Not the way we used to be, anyway."
Everyone's faces dropped immediately. Popping the bubble, Maya ran charged to Lucas in protest, "Lucas, come on!"
"They broke my trust!" He defended himself. "Like Farkle said: things have changed and it can't just be fixed overnight. They have to earn my friendship again. Our foundation has to be rebuilt." Lucas turned from Maya to Farkle.
He was visibly disappointed but he nodded, "I look forward to it."
"Me too."
Lucas looked to Maya for her understanding and she held him by the arm, walking back into school with him. Face to face with Riley, he gave her a casual grin. It was going to be OK. Maya went to give Riley a strong and long hug because she missed those. Zay pat Lucas on the back and they went off down the hall.
"I'll see you in a minute," Riley told Maya. Maya went to join the other boys as Riley went to stand with a bittersweet Farkle.
"How did you know he wasn't going to hit you?" Riley asked.
Farkle paused before answering, "I didn't."
He laughed slightly as Riley chastised, "Farkle!"
"What can I say, Riley? Sometimes, science can only get you so far. Sometimes, all you can do is have a little faith."
Suddenly, Riley stepped in and took his lips in a sweet and slow kiss. Releasing, she smiled with her eyes closed, pressing their foreheads together.
"What was that for?" He whispered, holding her waist.
Riley shrugged, "For anything. Everything. I love you."
Farkle smiled, "And I love you."
Notes:
I want to make a Lucaya companion piece to this eventually but don't quote me on that.
Thanks for all the kudos and comments. You guys rock. Happy trails.
untilwegodown on Chapter 1 Sun 07 May 2017 03:06PM UTC
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ChampagneTasteBeerMoney on Chapter 1 Sun 07 May 2017 09:05PM UTC
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Jiya on Chapter 3 Sun 02 Dec 2018 04:06AM UTC
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bonkaiqueen on Chapter 4 Sun 29 Jan 2017 10:51PM UTC
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ChampagneTasteBeerMoney on Chapter 4 Mon 30 Jan 2017 01:22AM UTC
Last Edited Wed 08 Feb 2017 08:41AM UTC
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Guest (Guest) on Chapter 4 Tue 31 Jan 2017 05:28AM UTC
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Jiya on Chapter 4 Sun 02 Dec 2018 04:31AM UTC
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UnknownArchivePerson (Guest) on Chapter 5 Thu 09 Feb 2017 11:51AM UTC
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Jiya on Chapter 5 Sun 02 Dec 2018 04:59AM UTC
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Anika (Guest) on Chapter 5 Sat 02 Oct 2021 12:59PM UTC
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Guest (Guest) on Chapter 6 Fri 10 Feb 2017 01:59AM UTC
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anonymous (Guest) on Chapter 6 Sun 12 Feb 2017 03:52AM UTC
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denicee28 on Chapter 6 Thu 25 Jan 2018 02:57PM UTC
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Mia (Guest) on Chapter 6 Mon 26 Feb 2018 06:55AM UTC
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Jiya on Chapter 6 Sun 02 Dec 2018 05:20AM UTC
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