Chapter Text
Pale moonlight floods into her small personal hospital room and pools on the granite-colored floor, adding to the dim glow of the long, thin light mounted on the wall above her head. She prefers the darker atmosphere as opposed to the blinding illumination of the main lights; it dulls her headache and makes writing come easier.
The staccato clicks of Lena’s laptop taps out a steady beat as her fingers blaze across the keys, churning out sentence after sentence of practiced words and careful verbiage. She’s used to scandals and hard-hitting accusations, so she knows exactly what her PR team wants her to say even before they think it, but never in her wildest dreams could she have predicted that she’d be forced to address something so trivial as inane gossip regarding her personal life.
I’ll deny it , she thinks as more fragmented thoughts translate to her screen, it was nothing more than a camera angle trick; there’s nothing going on between her and Supergirl.
Her hands pause.
The words feel shallow and disjointed and she knows they’re a damn lie.
This isn’t right.
Kara shouldn’t be relegated to some dirty little secret. Hell, Lena wants to shout out their relationship to the high heavens for all to hear, but she has self restraint. She’s already weighed the pros and cons of throwing caution to the wind, and putting Kara in the spotlight as Lena’s significant other could potentially jeopardize her secret identity.
She’ll become a target. As Supergirl, she’s more than capable of handling herself in a situation, but as Kara Danvers she’s supposed to be just an average citizen. If she’s thrown in harm’s way over and over again, potentially forcing her to use her powers, it’ll only be a matter of time before her cover is blown.
So then what are her options? Come out and say she’s dating Supergirl? What if she’s seen with Kara? People are bound to make the connection. There’s just too many variables to consider.
“Everything okay Miss Luthor?” Jess’s normally perky voice, now soft and subdued, cuts through the silence.
“Yes…” Lena nods absentmindedly, her eyes staring intently at the computer screen but lacking focus of any kind. “I just got lost in thought is all.”
The hospital vital monitors beep like a near perfect metronome, reminding Lena of how lucky she is to be alive, but her shoulder aches - though not nearly as much as her heart - and for once in her life she’s unsure of how to proceed.
“I’ve lived my whole life based upon what others wanted and expected of me for so long, excelling in a multitude of aspects that would make any parent proud. However now that I’m pursuing something that I genuinely desire, not because I’ve been instructed to do so, it all starts falling apart.”
Lena sighs heavily. The road to happiness is often riddled with punishing obstacles - she’s known this all her life - but to what point does she continue along this path? How many people will she inevitably bring destruction upon? There’s a reason why many choose to keep their distance from her.
The Luthor name is nearly synonymous with disaster and she was a fool to think that her fate could veer otherwise.
“Is it true?”
Jess pulls Lena out of her pitying self-doubt with a seemingly simple question, but it stirs unpleasant fear in the pit of Lena’s stomach.
She tears her gaze away from the laptop and stares at her assistant sitting loyally at her bedside and for a fraction of a second Lena considers divulging it all. Her mouth parts open ever so slightly as she searches for the right words, but Jess smiles and shakes her head.
“Actually, nevermind you don’t need to tell me. However,” She sleeps her tablet and directs her full attention at her boss, “I assume you are seeing someone judging from your reaction a few days ago when I teased you and I guess just answer me this: are they worth it?”
“Yes,” Lena replies vigorously without hesitation. “Absolutely. But it’s just that--”
Jess’s finger shoots up, effectively silencing Lena in the process as she shakes her hand back and forth. “That’s all you need then, the rest will fall into place.”
Lena’s gaze falters and her computer screen dims. “How can you be so sure?”
Jess stands up, the hospital chair scraping across the floor in the process, and she makes her way towards the exit as she stows away the tablet into her purse. She opens the door, her hand resting on the handle as she casts one final look at her boss.
“I know you’ll find a way to make it work, you just need to have a little faith in yourself.” She smiles encouragingly and Lena finds herself inexplicably mirroring the expression.
“Goodnight Miss Luthor.”
The door clicks shut leaving Lena alone to contemplate the gravity of her words.
//
Lena stays in the hospital for about a week to monitor her health and ensure a full recovery. She doesn’t mind it all that much; the privacy of the room offers a safe haven from the outside world.
Jess visits everyday, keeping her up to speed on what’s going on at L-Corp and bringing in an endless sea of paperwork that needs to be signed. Kara visits everyday too, a fact that Jess notes with keen perception, but she keeps the visits brief and mostly sneaks Lena unhealthy food seeing as how she deems the hospital cuisine utterly sub-par.
Supergirl isn’t brought up. It’s not the time nor the place, but the subject weighs heavily in the back of Lena’s mind and she knows that she’ll have to face it eventually.
Which sure enough, ‘eventually’ comes all too fast and hits her like a freight train the evening she’s discharged from the hospital.
A seasoned bodyguard named John in a perfectly pressed suit with salt and pepper hair flanks her left while Jess takes up position on her right and it takes every ounce of willpower for Lena not to scream like a banshee. Reporters swarm the hospital’s exit like ravenous roaches, hungry for a story to feed their two-bit tabloids. Flashes from cameras go off in every direction like fireworks in her eyes and at this point she’s relying solely on John to guide her through the frenzied crowd and blinding lights. There’s shouting and shoving and Lena can’t tell up from down.
“Lena! Lena! Are the rumors true?”
“What are your relations with Supergirl?”
“Does your family know about these startling allegations?”
Of course not, Lena muses bitterly, why would her family know about this new revelation? They’re all behind bars.
She’s ushered unceremoniously into a four-door sedan with limo-tinted windows and the cacophony of reporters dulls to a manageable buzz as the car zips off towards the office. John mans the wheel, having insisted that his chauffeur skills are second to none and though Lena doubts that the criminals would try anything so soon, his confidence - along with Jess sitting beside her - settles her nerves.
Tapping away at her electronic tablet, Jess rambles off the items on her checklist.
“We’ve already completed a sweep of your apartment and everything seems to check out safety-wise. You can rest up for a day or so, but I scheduled an important meeting regarding Project Chameleon on Tuesday so make sure you review the brief before heading into it.”
Lena digests the information while watching buildings pass outside of the backseat window. “And how is the project progressing?”
“Without a hitch it seems. We should be ready with a preliminary public announcement to test out anticipated sales.”
“And the prototype?”
“Towards the end of alpha testing phases, but by the time we do the initial announcement versus when production can be ready, I think all the kinks can be worked out.”
“That is tremendous news.” Lena sees the scenery change and recognizes that they’re nearing the office. Even with her out of commission for a week, everything is proceeding accordingly. “Thank you Jess. Sincerely, I appreciate all that you’ve done.”
Unused to such praise, the young secretary scoffs and fiddles with her tablet shakily. “It was nothing, really.”
“I beg to differ.” Lena looks at her and smiles just as the car nears the office’s block. John pulls up to their dedicated parking spot, his veteran eyes sweeping the area for anything suspicious, though nothing seems to catch his attention.
The setting sun casts a warm glow against the cool concrete as Lena exits the car, wincing partially from the strain in her shoulder as she stands up fully and closes the door. John is at her side in a heartbeat, moving with a silent grace like a second shadow to ensure that he can keep her aptly protected lest her previous assailants try for a round two. The trio head into the L-Corp headquarters and stop for nothing until they reach Lena’s office, which she notices has a new security panel installed just outside of the doors.
“The code for your door is 787374475, but there’s also a nifty retinal scanner function so you don’t have to remember that whole sequence; it’s mainly for John and I,” Jess says as she sees where Lena’s attention is at. “I’m heading home for the day, but please let me know if you need anything. You know, business or just… personal.”
Lena’s eyebrow raises up oddly at that last proposal and Jess merely shrugs. “I’ve been told that i’m a pretty good listener on occasion.”
A swell of affection bubbles in her chest, and Lena suddenly finds herself hugging her assistant tightly. Jess has gone above and beyond her initial job requirements on a plethora of occasions and what’s more is that she’s trustworthy so Lena just can’t help it.
Jess gives her a quick squeeze before pulling back and nodding. “Have a nice evening Miss Luthor.”
Her footsteps echo with each click of her high heels as she departs towards the elevator and Lena turns to her silent guardian. “I don’t need a babysitter; I’ll be fine on my own.”
“I’m not leaving your side ma’am. I’d be a pretty lousy security detail if I up and left you and you wind up getting hurt.”
Lena laughs lightheartedly and heads towards the retinal scanner. “If you call me ma’am one more time then you’ll be the one who ends up hurt. Please, call me Lena and if you really insist, then you can stand outside my door until I leave for the night. Fair deal?”
The corner of his lip turns up into the faintest of smirks as he takes his position outside her door just as the lock clicks open allowing her entry. She slips into her office, the security mechanism locking back up as it closes, and Lena finds herself alone in her office. No press, no people, no noise - it’s just her and the sanctity of her own solitude and she doesn’t mind it one bit.
She flips on the lights and heads over to her desk as the sun dips below the skyline outside. Tugging on the balcony sliding door, she opens it just wide enough for fresh air to pervade the room and it breathes life back into her stale office. There’s stacks of papers resting in neat piles organized and categorized by subject and date, courtesy of Jess most likely, and Lena makes a mental note to give her a healthy end of year bonus after all of this is over with.
Spotting the letters labeled “PR” in a bold font, Lena opens the manila folder and she’s greeted with the same article that graced the tabloids the entire week. Her fingers trace over the amateur photo of her and Supergirl in a somewhat blurry, but unmistakable lip-lock and her chest begins to ache.
If she announces her relationship with Supergirl, then it puts Kara’s secret identity at risk, and even if she chooses inaction and does absolutely nothing, then it can still jeopardize it. Should Lena be seen in public with Kara in any relationship fashion, they run the risk of people making the connection. Before, Kara was just any other regular reporter for CatCo, but if she’s thrust into the limelight, then things can get complicated real fast.
So, what now? Where does this leave them? Where does their relationship stand?
She shouldn’t be afraid of what the public thinks -- no, she knows she isn’t afraid of what the public damn well thinks. This is isn’t an issue of fear, at least not for her own safety anyways, it’s an issue of whether or not she’s willing to put Kara’s life in danger in more ways than one. Supergirl may be bulletproof, but her personal life isn’t.
But it’s not just my call to make Lena thinks as she reminds herself that relationships are built on communication and mutual understanding. A quick gust of air rustles Lena’s hair.
Well speak of the devil.
“You should really keep your balcony locked - you never know what kind of trouble might find you.”
In her full Supergirl outfit, Kara casually saunters in with a shy grin on her face and impossibly perfect hair despite flying around the city at breakneck speeds.
“Oh?” Lena pivots around in place slowly, her eyes narrowing playfully and a sly smile painted on her face. “Are you going to be any trouble?”
Kara’s hands reach out and rest on Lena’s hips until they’re pressed against the desk and the physical contact which her body had been craving lights her senses on fire. Kara’s leaning in close and there’s a rare brazenness in her eyes that sends chills down Lena’s body.
“I could if you want me to be.”
And that’s all it takes for Lena’s resolve to shatter. She feverishly pulls Kara in for a hungry kiss, their lips crashing together fueled by the passion of pent up emotions harbored over the course of the week. Lena’s arms are wrapped around Kara’s neck as she draws her in closer to deepen the kiss, their bodies pressing together so tightly that she’s sure Kara can feel her wild heartbeat hammering in her chest.
There’s a throbbing pain in Lena’s shoulder protesting against the physical exertion and trying its best to tell her to take it easy, that she should still be in recovery mode from the gunshot wound, but it’s a faint whisper at best and pales in comparison to her screaming heart.
It’s an overload of sensations, a vast symphony of energy and fervor. From the electricity shooting through her body as Kara tightens her grip on Lena’s waist, to the small whimpers escaping Kara’s lips in rapid heated breaths between kisses - the raw combination of it all amplifies the intense desire burning through Lena’s body like an insatiable wildfire.
Kara bites down on Lena’s lower lip tugging lightly before returning for a heated kiss, and then her lips are moving. They nibble at her earlobe and travel down her neck, each soft brush of her lips ghosting against Lena’s skin, shooting shivers down her spine. Kara gently sucks on the sensitive area near where her neck meets her collarbone and Lena can’t stop a husky moan from slipping out.
She can’t think, her body now reacting solely on autopilot, as nothing fills her mind save for the thought of Kara and everything she wants to do to her right here and now, but her office desk has other ideas and it shifts backwards under their combined weight, startling them both off-balance.
The neat stacks of paper that Jess had so painstakingly organized spill all over her desk and several go cascading over the edge in a flurry of white and manila.
Lena nearly falls flat on her butt, but has a quick enough reaction to catch herself on the edge of the desk before Kara steadies them both. Their eyes are wide and for a moment neither of them says a word, but then the silence is broken with their loud and hysterical laughter.
“I really should invest in a new desk,” Lena mutters jokingly before standing up straight. Her breaths come in shallow waves, her pulse still elevated and vibrating with excitement, but she takes the table as some cosmic sign and figures now isn’t the time to get carried away.
She wraps one arm around Kara’s waist as the other free hand travels up Kara’s chest, her index and middle finger walking up and over the bold S-shaped crest. “Are you free for lunch tomorrow?”
Beaming from ear to ear, Kara dips her head slightly before nodding and gazing into Lena’s eyes with earnest affection twinkling in her own.
“Of course.”
//
“The rate at which you shovel all of that food into your mouth disturbs me.” With an odd mixture of both endearment and horror, Lena stabs a fork into her salad, getting even parts of roasted chicken and lettuce as she watches her alien girlfriend devour food like a starved maniac.
They’re at a local hole in the wall cafe with an eclectic menu and mismatched decor, from its white and blue striped overhanging canopy that shades the front entrance to the shelves of miniature collectable action figures lining the wall. It’s been a fan-favorite for many of the nearby locals and one that Kara can get her fix of a variety of foods in one place.
They also serve a mean pastrami sandwich and bottomless mimosas, and while Lena passed on both, Kara took it upon herself to order as she normally would.
Which is to say she got two full entrees and a couple of appetizers, just for herself.
The waiter had flashed her the most bizarre look when they ordered, but wisely refrained from commenting on her abnormally large selection of food. So now here they are with Kara surrounded by plates consisting of a cheeseburger, double order of fries, soup, and a hot pastrami dip sandwich.
“I’m an alien, remember? My metabolism is much different than yours. I could eat like this all the time if I really wanted to, but it’s expensive and not entirely necessary.” Kara finishes off her burger with one more mouthful and Lena’s stomach churns at the sight. As much as she loves a good burger herself, watching Kara tuck all that food away into her bottomless pit makes Lena cringe.
“You never cease to amaze me,” Lena remarks as she pushes around the remaining bits of chicken and croutons in her salad. “But anyways, I’m sure you know what’s been on my mind this past week or so and that’s what I wanted to hear your thoughts on.”
It’s an incredibly nice day outside, and as they sit on the outside patio seating, Lena thinks it cruel that they even have to have this discussion today, but they can’t ignore the issue or let it fester into something detrimental.
Kara dips her sandwich in the accompanying sauce, her brow knitted as she deliberates the question.
“Lena, you know I’d never force you to continue into something you don’t want.” Her words are careful but firm, her spectacled gaze transfixed on Lena’s to reinforce her sincerity. “If what’s going on between us is going to make your life difficult then I can… I can back off--”
“No,” Lena interjects resolutely, “I’d never want you to back off.”
Reaching out and taking Kara’s free hand into her own, Lena gives her a tender, reassuring squeeze.
“The situation may be… volatile and delicate at best, but you’re one of the best things in my life right now and if you were to leave then it would be like someone cutting a hole in me.” Lena wavers for a moment, emotions swirling in her chest like a chaotic maelstrom before she presses on. “...What do you want?”
Lena studies their hands, watches how Kara sits there in silence and it’s absolutely killing her. She feels like she knows her answer, but there’s a sliver of doubt snaking its way in and warping her thoughts. She knows it’s completely unfounded because she’s aware of how much Kara loves her back, but years of being a Luthor and wearing isolation like a second skin are hard to shake.
Each passing second is like a rusty nail being driven deeper and deeper into her heart, causing spiderweb fractures and letting the doubt seep further in, but then Kara squeezes her hand back and the creeping darkness quickly cowers in her light.
“I want you,” she whispers quietly, “I’ll always choose you.”
Lena smiles as she fights back tears, relief and love flooding her system. “Then we’ll find a way, together.”
//
The next day, Kara shows up at Lena’s office with takeout in hand and a broad smile on her face as she drops the hefty boxes filled to the brim with greasy delight on the CEO’s desk.
“I assume you haven’t eaten yet?”
Lena sets her pen down and crosses her arms playfully. “Kara Danvers, how do you always know exactly what I need?”
Pacing towards the bookshelf casually, Kara shrugs innocently. “Oh I don’t know, a little birdie told me that you haven’t left your office yet and might’ve skipped breakfast too.”
Nodding her head, Lena starts to open up the bags carefully so as not to have any of the sauces spill or leak out. “You called Jess.”
“Okay to be fair, she called me first.”
“That girl, honestly.” Lena sighs in mock exasperation, but a warmth spreads in her chest at knowing how much her secretary cares.
Kara snatches up one of the styrofoam boxes and pops open the lid, chopsticks at the ready. She gleefully shoves a potsticker in her mouth and eyes the various documents scattered on the desk curiously. Her eyebrow quirks up at the Project Chameleon and she gestures at it with her utensil.
“Is this the super secret project that you’ve been working on?”
Lena scoops even portions of food from the takeout boxes onto a separate plate and hums positively. “Yes indeed. We’re set to have a press conference about it very soon if all goes according to plan.”
“Sooo, are you going to let me in on what it is?”
Lena tilts her head with a deadpan expression. “Like you said, it’s super secret. ”
“Oh c’mon.” Kara draws the word out with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Don’t I get special girlfriend privileges?”
There’s an excitement running through Lena because the device that they’ve been laboring so arduously over is so close to being showcase ready and she wants to share it with all of National City. It’s by no means a piece of groundbreaking tech, however there’s a part of her that’s hoping it will make some aliens’ lives better.
“Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.”
She flips open the folder to reveal some complicated diagrams and schematics, with countless versions of prototype blueprints, trial and error notes, and scribbled afterthoughts. Kara leans in close, her vigorous chewing slowing down to a relaxed pace as her eyes glance over the plethora of information.
Her eyes squint sporadically as if focusing too hard and it’s definitely not the reaction that Lena hoped to garner.
Kara sets down her food and starts to flip through the pages of documentation and her brow furrows deeper with the more pages she digests.
“Lena, what is all of this?”
Staring up expectantly at her girlfriend, Lena bites her lip hesitantly. “Well… what do you think it is?”
“A name like Project Chameleon isn’t subtle at all.”
“I know, I know - that was my head engineer’s idea, but I’m fully behind this project.” Lena’s eyes are filled with wonder and exhilaration, but those emotions don’t reflect in Kara’s and a sudden tension grows in the air. “This was old technology from Lex’s time that I’ve appropriated to work for the enrichment of the alien community. The portable device can let the wearer change or alter their appearance so they can blend in with the rest of us--”
“Blend in?” Kara blurts out incredulously. “You think we need to blend in with everyone?”
“No, I-I’m not saying that you need to blend in, but rather make it an option available to those who may want it and--”
“So that you don’t have to deal with us or look at us because we make you feel uncomfortable?”
“Kara no, that was never my intention at all--”
“Well what about criminals, hm? What about humans who’ve committed atrocious crimes who get their hands on this? It will make tracking them down that much harder for the police if they have the power to change their appearance. Did that cross your mind as well?”
“Kara--”
“Actually, I should probably head back to CatCo right now, I have a lot of work to do.”
Kara tosses out her used chopsticks and gathers up her belongings in a flash but all Lena can do is watch her walk out the door. All the words she had built up died in her throat because none of them would’ve done any good to alleviate the situation. She didn’t think through all the angles, all the interpretations that could be implicated from the existence of such a device, and now she’s left with the weight of re-evaluating the entire project.
She never thought it would upset Kara to this degree, but then again, all Lena had to do was consult her from the very beginning and perhaps it wouldn’t have turned out this way.
“I’m such a fool,” she mutters to herself miserably.
The food, now long forgotten, sits lukewarm and mostly untouched as Lena’s head rests in her hands, elbows propped up on the desk. Afternoon sun shines through the windows and bears down on her back in stark contrast to the darkness slowly devouring her from the inside out. She’s trying to fight the feeling, but she knows she royally messed up and a part of her doesn’t know what she can do to rectify it just yet.
Her eyes skim over the papers on her desk and the memories of long hours spent in the lab play through her mind. Her gaze settles on today’s newspaper, which Jess had reluctantly left on her desk earlier that morning, and a choked, sardonic cackle escapes Lena’s throat.
In a small column off to the side on the front cover is a photo of Lena and Kara at lunch holding hands with an absurdly ironic caption beneath it.
LENA LUTHOR ALREADY CHEATING ON SUPERGIRL?
Her laughter goes hollow but doesn’t stop, because it’s the only thing that’s preventing the sorrow from swallowing her whole.