Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tyler’s heart rate speeds up when he sees Jamie snap his stick in half on the ice. After the previous game, he knew they needed to win or Jamie was going to go off the handle. He’s never seen Jamie this furious, out of the context of their bedroom. It’s absolutely terrifying. It doesn’t make it better that Jamie gets to the bench and breaks two more over his knee. Tyler has a feeling he’s going to be bent over that knee tonight. Generally, the prospect of being strung across Jamie’s knee to be spanked turns him on. Tonight, he’s slightly scared for his life. It doesn’t help that they’re losing to the Sabers.

He takes a deep breath and goes over the boards with his line. Nothing happens. They lose 4-1 and it sucks.

In the locker room, Jamie has gone from brutally angry to deathly calm. Tyler doesn’t know which is scarier. He does media with composure. He showers after. Tyler keeps looking over, trying to gauge what’s going to happen. He doesn’t know if Jamie’s furious enough to embarrass him on the plane, or if he’ll wait until they land on the other side of the state. In their contract that Jamie made them write up, it says Jamie won’t do anything to him in front of the team. But, tonight, tonight Tyler wouldn’t put it past him to break that specific clause.

To Tyler, from what he can see, Jamie seems to have shut down. He’s turned off all emotion and is now functioning as a robot. They occasionally joke that Jonny Toews is a robot, but this is flat out scary. Tyler gets dried and dressed. He sits down next to Sharpy on the bus, scared that if he sat somewhere with an open seat, Jamie would take it and hurt him.

Don’t get him wrong. Most nights, Tyler loves to be hurt. He loves the fact that he has no choice, that Jamie is doing this to him because Jamie wants to do it. Tonight is a little different. Tyler’s never been afraid of Jamie. Not even in the beginning. From the moment he met Jamie at the airport when he was first traded, he’s never felt afraid or nervous. He just wants to be perfect for Jamie. He wants to prove that he’s not the fuck up that Boston made him out to be. As far as he can tell, he’s doing a pretty damn good job of it too.

“Everything okay in paradise?” Sharpy asks.

Tyler shrugs. “He seems…”

Sharpy just nods. “I know what you mean. How are you Tyler? We all can see how the captain is. How are you?”

Tyler shrugs. “I’ll be fine, I think, if we can figure out how to win tomorrow.”

Sharpy laughs. “I think that’s a sentiment we all share bud.”

Finally, the rest of the team makes it on the bus. Jamie takes one look at Tyler and Tyler’s seat mate and almost goes into a full out furry. Tyler can see it in his eyes. He gulps and looks away.

What Tyler told Sharpy wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Watching Jamie get furious with him, with himself, with the team, it does things to Tyler. Bad things. Everything is foggy. He’s not okay. He’s not in a good headspace, and it’s getting worse with every passing second. He feels his throat getting tighter and tighter, not with the urge to cry, but the urge to bow, the urge to submit to his captain, who is down at the back of the bus. He’s losing himself. This hasn’t happened since Boston. He told himself he wouldn’t let himself feel like this again. Told himself he would take care of himself properly so it wouldn’t happen. Jamie promised the same thing. He promised to keep Tyler feeling good, feeling happy, feeling settled. Right now, Tyler is feeling anything but. If Sharpy lets on, he doesn’t say anything.
Jamie avoids Tyler on the bus. Walks right by him and the empty seat next to him. That feels like a punch to Tyler’s gut. He saw that he was wrong to sit by Sharpy on the bus. He’s trying to fix it by offering the seat next to him to Jamie, but Jamie didn’t even glance at him. Now, Tyler’s having a hard time breathing. He knows he’s not thinking straight. He ends up sitting with Sharpy again. Again, Sharpy doesn’t seem to see the turmoil that’s rolling around inside Tyler. He feels lost, so lost. He can’t even sort out his own thoughts.

When the plane takes off, it just makes it worse. Without having something solid underneath him to keep him grounded, Tyler feels like he’s floating. The next second he feels like he’s falling. It goes on and on, that constant feeling of he’s safe for the moment but not for long. That uncertainty of what’s going to happen to him. That’s the feeling that invaded his very core back in Boston. It was what kept him from playing well his second year. It’s what pushed him to fuck up so badly off the ice. It’s what Jamie took away the second Tyler saw him after he got off that plane that summer.

He must’ve fallen asleep at some point. He doesn’t remember it, but he must, because he wakes up feeling like he’s in the clouds. He’s surrounded by something fluffy and soft and warm. He just wants to nuzzle deeper into it. But, something’s wrong. Something’s off. It’s like someone is shouting, but behind closed doors.

“… fault! How can you not see that? He may not come back this time!”

“I didn’t do anything to him! You sat next to him all night! You know I did absolutely nothing!” The person sounds like he’s spitting venom. Tyler can’t really recognize the voices. They’re too muted. Maybe it’s not behind doors. Maybe he’s underwater. Yeah, that’s where he must be.

“Exactly, you asshole! He dropped and you saw and did nothing! I know subdrop when I see it. You have to fix it!”

“I’m not going to! I can barely stand to look at him, let alone comfort him!”

Tyler opens his eyes a little. There’s a little bit of light wherever he is. He can just make out the silhouettes of two people. Both register in his head as people he should know, but his head is too foggy to remember who exactly.

“Then you don’t deserve him.” The man’s voice has dropped now. He sounds disappointed, very disappointed. Tyler whimpers. He doesn’t want these people to be disappointed with him. He doesn’t want to do something wrong. He never wants to do something wrong. He wants to be better.

Both heads snap to him. The light illuminates the side of each face enough for Tyler to make them out. Through all the fog and haze, he can only recognize one of them. “Jamie,” he whimpers again.

The breath seems to sucked out of both men. The room seems so still, so peaceful. Tyler almost wants to fall back asleep in such peace. It would make his head clearer, he thinks.

“Help him, Jamie,” the other man whispers, that Tyler still can’t put a name to. “Or so help me Jamie, I will make sure you’re traded so far away he will only ever have to see your face twice.”

Jamie nods and watches the other man walk out the door. There’s a flash of bright light as he leaves, that leaves Tyler whimpers and crying. It hurt his eyes. He didn’t like it one bit.

There’s an immediate response from Jamie, hushing him, trying to calm him. He crawls across the bed to cradle Tyler’s head in his lap. “Everything’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Tyler hums and rolls his head against Jamie’s legs. He loves the feel of Jamie. He’s so big, so strong. He’s an absolute beast. It’s something Tyler’s always loved about Jamie. He’s a beast on the ice and a beast in bed.

“Where are you, baby boy?” Jamie whispers. He runs his hands down Tyler’s arms and back up again. He settles Tyler, makes some of the fog clear in his head. He can’t quite form an answer to Jamie’s question. First of all, he still doesn’t really know where he is. Second, he can’t quite form more words than just “Jamie”.

They stay like that for a long time, just resting together in peace and in silence. Tyler focuses on Jamie’s fingers, scratching his scalp, trying to clear his head. It takes a while, but he’s finally able to breathe easy again. He looks up at Jamie, blinking a few times to clear his vision. His deep brown eyes are staring back, searching, but searching for what, Tyler doesn’t know.

“How are you feeling?” Jamie asks softly.

“Still a little confused,” Tyler says slowly, trying to get a grasp on speech. He feels Jamie heave a sigh. He searches Jamie’s face, trying to figure out what’s going on.

Jamie leans down and presses his forehead to Tyler’s. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought…” Jamie swallows but doesn’t continue.

Tyler smiles. “Like you’d ever lose me.”

Jamie doesn’t reciprocate the smile. He stares down at Tyler with some sort of expression that Tyler’s mind, still slow from waking from fog, can’t figure out. “Do you even know what I did to you?” Jamie pulls away, then, unable to look at Tyler and longer.

Tyler doesn’t know what’s happening. He’s still not in a good enough state to understand why Jamie is so upset. “Did I do something wrong?” Tyler asks softly.

Jamie turns back to Tyler immediately, with tears streaming down his face. “No, Tyler, no. You have never done anything wrong.” Jamie pulls him into a bear hug, one Tyler wouldn’t be able to escape if he tried. He cries over Tyler, and Tyler slowly figures out what’s going on.

“I… I went into subdrop…” Tyler stutters. “Like, like at Boston.”

Jamie nods above him. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry, Tyler. You deserve more than me. You deserve more than a captain who can’t keep his cool You deserve more than somebody who willing puts you into subdrop. You deserve more.”

Tyler slowly reaches up and rests his hand on Jamie’s cheek. “But, I don’t want more. I want you. You take care of me better than anyone else, Jamie. You protect me from my mind. You make sure I know that I’m safe. I fuck up sometimes. I know it so don’t try to deny it. You deserve a mistake now and then. You’re not perfect. Nobody is, Jamie. But, you’re perfect for me and I don’t want anyone else.”

Jamie is smiling through his tears. Tyler’s never been happier to see that smile.

“Can we sleep now? I’m pretty sure we have a game in like less than twenty-four hours.”

Jamie chuckles and nods. “Yeah, of course. Of course we can go to sleep.”

Tyler smiles and settles into Jamie’s chest, lacing their fingers together.

The next morning, Tyler wakes up slowly. His brain isn’t really sure what’s he’s registering. He groans and wipes at his eyes. That’s when he sees Jamie between his legs. He head is bobbing up and down on his cock. His eyes widen before the close. He moans, unable to help himself as Jamie pulls on his balls.

Jamie slips off and sit ups. He smacks Tyler’s ass before crawling up so his hard cock is in Tyler’s face. Tyler doesn’t need any kind of order to know what to do. He immediately gets his mouth on it, moaning around it’s girth. Jamie gets his fingers into Tyler’s hair, like he always does. He pulls, hard, and Tyler’s eyes roll to the back of his head. It’s hard to focus on his blow job technique when Jamie is being so forceful in his hair and the way his hips keep rocking it further into his mouth. It isn’t long before he’s choking on it.

He can feel himself going down. Except this time, it feels good. He lets himself slip a little bit, needing to feel safe, secure, to feel good, before this game. He lets Jamie pound into his open throat for who knows how long. He feels the warmth of Jamie’s seed sliding down is throat, and he smiles. Jamie is smiling too. He slinks down and jerks Tyler twice before he’s coming all over Jamie’s hand.

He’s limp and boneless as Jamie kisses him. He can’t do much more than let Jamie do what he wants, like he’d do anything else anyway. When he’s finally a little more under control, he can see the impatient look in Jamie’s eyes.

“What?” His word is slurred, and his voice sounds like it was shredded by a cheese grater. It makes Jamie smirk.

“Shower. Let’s go.”

Tyler moans has Jamie hauls him out of bed. He’s too tired for this. He doesn’t even think he can stand on his own. He tells Jamie as much.

“That’s fine. I can help.” There’s a hint of mischief in Jamie’s voice. It’s something Tyler’s cock has learned to respond with vigor. He grunts as it goes from semi hard to ready to go. Jamie helps him into the shower and turns the water on hot. They make out under the stream, letting the stickiness from the morning and night before be washed away. Jamie plays with Tyler’s hole, pulling moan after moan out of his mouth. Tyler loves the feeling of Jamie’s calloused hands on his ass. It’s the feeling of being owned.

Jamie gets him turned around, a hand in his hair like always. He prods lightly at Tyler hole with his cock, before thrusting in and slamming Tyler against the wall. Tyler’s scream, that Jamie somehow knew was coming, is muffled by Jamie’s other hand firmly against Tyler’s mouth. Tyler can feel every inch of Jamie’s thick cock inside him. With the small amount of prep Jamie generally does, this is nothing new, and oh does it feel so good. Tyler tries to rock back, to get more, but Jamie has him tight against the wall as he fucks in. Tyler is writhing, unable to deal with all the pressure. Jamie is all over. It’s like Jamie is everywhere at once. Tyler comes twice, crying the whole time. Jamie continues to fuck him hard going and going until Tyler is a sobbing mess. He finally comes deep inside. Tyler can feel the warmth spread within him, then trickle down as Jamie pulls out.

Jamie turns him around. He got a huge grin plastered on his face, and Tyler can only smile back. Jamie kisses him deep, pull Tyler tight to him. He holds Tyler to him as they finish washing. Jamie insists on washing Tyler himself, and Tyler doesn’t protest. He can barely stand, let alone wash himself.

When they finish, Tyler is glowing. He feels absolutely wonderful. “I have a good feeling about tonight,” he tells Jamie as they walk down to team breakfast. It’s a little later than normal because they left late last night.

“Yeah?” Jamie asks, sliding into a booth across from Jordie and Sharpy.

Tyler nods. “Yeah.”

“Sleep get you back to us, Seggy?” Sharpy asks.

Tyler nods, still unable to stop smiling. “I think we can win tonight.”

“That what I like to hear!” Jordie exclaims.

They have an amazing warm up. Their game started well, like Tyler predicted. Both Jamie and Tyler have a point on the board at the end of the first period. It’s a rough one, and a long one.

But they win! And who’s Tyler to say it wasn’t the awesome make up sex?