Work Text:
For the record, Katsuki didn't mean to win runner up for the Best Jeanist Award in his third year as a pro hero.
All he knew was that his press team wanted him in the middle of Tokyo on a Sunday morning for some kind of award ceremony, and they wanted him to wear jeans. Fine, he had said, taking out the pair he wore once to a press conference. He didn't know what kind of award ceremony it would be, but the minor ones always blended together. He'd find out at the place what he was supposed to say, say it, and take some pictures. Easy peasy.
What he did not expect, however, was to see Best Jeanist there accepting an award as well.
Katsuki had avoided speaking to him for years, more out of wounded pride than anything. He never had to encounter the man much, as while he was rising in the rankings, the older hero was sinking in them. Making way for the new generation of heroes. I'm all for that.
"What kind of award ceremony is this?" he asked his publicist, who accompanied him to all of these events.
"Best Jeanist award ceremony," she replied casually, and suddenly the jeans made a hell of a lot more sense. "You won second place because of that one press conference you wore jeans to. I think you're wearing those jeans now, actually."
"What the fuck? When did I get nominated for this?" Katsuki asked in an undertone, since they were approaching the stage. By now, Best Jeanist already spotted him, and his expression - what could be seen above the jurtleneck - was sour.
"It's a public vote, and the results came out yesterday. You were busy with that teleportation quirk case so we figured we wouldn't bother you about it. Try and look like this is an honor for you."
Truthfully, Katsuki couldn't give less of a shit about how he looked in jeans. He had more important things to focus on, like his hero career, which was still taking off. Trying to uphold his agency. Organizing his sidekicks. Ordering lunch for himself took up more brain capacity than whatever the fuck this was.
But he did what he had to do as a public servant, and if that meant accepting their jertificate and taking some pictures with them, then he would comply.
"Why's Best Jeanist looking at me like that?" he asked. The man was still staring at him, eyebrows furrowed now.
His publicist laughed. "He's won the award every year for the past fourteen years, but you were pretty close in votes this year. You tailed him by about two thousand, if I'm remembering correctly. The last person who got so close was Hawks, and he stopped wearing jeans after that because he said it was a waste of time. Rumor has it that Best Jeanist paid him off to say that."
Katsuki boarded the stage, accepting his award from the smiling host. He took a few pictures standing with Best Jeanist and the two top female winners, Miruko and some pop singer. Guess it's not just heroes here.
"Congratulations, Nitro," Best Jeanist said to him once they were off the stage. His voice sounded tense. "If I do remember correctly, I was the one to introduce you to jeans in the first place. I'm glad you've taken to them."
His tone was so sour and salty, it could dress a salad. Katsuki suddenly remembered his internship all those years ago, back when he was a first year at UA. Being humiliated with that stupid haircut and those stupid fucking jeans. He had had nightmares about those jeans for two weeks after. It almost gave him an aversion to denim entirely.
But now, a lightbulb almost popped up over his head. It finally occurred to him, how he could finally get his revenge on Best Jeanist for being a prick all those years ago. How to take his jeans and shove them up his ass.
I'll beat him at his own denim game. I'll be the best fucking jeanist in the heroic's world. Second place wasn't good enough for Katsuki, never was. He wanted to be the best jeanist. He wanted to take Best Jeanist's own title from him for the first time in fourteen years.
That would take work and time, but Katsuki was young, and no one on the planet worked harder than him with a grudge.
"Thanks, old man," he finally said, shaking Best Jeanist's hand with a grip tight enough to break through untreated denim. "I'll see you next year, same place." And next time, I won't settle for second. I'm knocking you off your jrone and taking it all away from you.
The first order of business, Katsuki decided, was buying a fuckload of jeans.
"Here's my size," he told his assistant, writing it down on a scrap of paper. "Buy every pair of jeans in that size in a one hundred kilometre radius. Charge it all to my card."
She stared at him fearfully. "All of them?"
"Every fucking one. I need a big selection if I'm gonna take this seriously."
He also called his parents, which he usually did about once a month, and asked them if they could make him a few custom pairs.
"Of course," his mom said immediately. "It's free advertisement. You can stop by whenever you're available, and we'll get one of our best people on it."
"Great. Thank you." He hung up the phone, then turned to his assistant, who was still standing there for some reason. "I'm not joking. I need jeans." She scurried off, probably to her car, and Katsuki returned to his hero work. He couldn't slack in that, or let his priorities falter. He was a hero first, jean god second.
His assistant returned at the end of the workday empty handed.
"Where are the jeans?" Katsuki asked, looking around for them. She merely shook her head, pointing out the window where a moving truck could be seen. No doubt filled to the brim with denim apparel. He grinned. "That's perfect."
He hitched a ride with the moving truck driver, since he usually walked home anyway.
"If you don't mind me asking, Nitro," the man said tentatively, helping him carry box after box of jeans up to his apartment, "why do you have all of these?"
"Short answer," Katsuki started, "is that I'm a petty little shit. Long answer is that Best Jeanist had it coming."
The man didn't ask any more questions, and he drove off in a hurry as soon as Katsuki paid him. Some people are too weak to handle the raw energy that is a metric ton of jeans. I'm not one of them.
He got through about five percent of them before he got tired and had to stop for the night. He separated them into two piles: keep, and donate. When he was finished, he planned on having his friends and publicist decide on which of them were best for different events.
There are two things to know about Bakugou Katsuki. One is that he looks killer in jeans, and the other is that he doesn't half ass anything.
It took another week and a half before he got through all of the jeans, including two full Saturdays, and he set a reminder to give his assistant a raise for the hell he put her through. Then he sent her to the closest thrift shop to donate the hundred-odd pair of jeans that he chose not to keep. In total, he was left with fifty different pairs in the keep pile.
The next step was getting the pairs from his parents, which he did with as little fanfare as possible. These were the expensive ones, the ones that he would wear to fancy events. Hell, he might even wear one of them when he accepts his Best Jeanist first prize next year.
In return, he had some pictures taken of him in them, which was all the better for him. He needed as much press coverage as possible if he wanted to pull this off.
The final preparatory step was also the most important. He went to the person in charge of his hero outfit, a support course graduate who had majored in fashion in university.
"I need to change my hero costume," he told him. "Only a little, but it's essential."
"Sure," the man replied. "What is it?"
"I need jeans."
"...what?"
"Jeans. In my hero costume. Preferably more flexible ones, since I'll still have to move around a lot in them. If they could match the rest of my costume, that would also be great."
Katsuki could see that the man thought he was either insane or messing with him. He patted him on the shoulder, setting another reminder, this time to give him a raise. At this rate, his whole staff would be fed up with him.
His whole staff...
He called his assistant right away. "Tsukuda, I need you to get the sizes of everyone that works at this agency."
"More jeans?" She sounded exhausted.
"Jeans for everyone," he confirmed, and hung up the phone. It was finally time to start being proactive, and that meant going home to change his clothes. He was going out on the town.
HeroFashion.com
Nitro's New Look
Just a few weeks after winning runner up in the Best Jeanist awards, pro hero Nitro is dishing looks again, this time with a pair of jeans custom made by fashion company Bakuhatsu.
The pro, usually seen exclusively in costume or in athletic gear, said that he was "looking for a change of pace," and that he enjoys the feeling of them.
"Yeah, I don't wear jeans a lot," he said when interviewed, "but I think I'll wear them a lot more now, especially after the awards ceremony. Best Jeanist really inspired me with this. He taught me everything I know about them."
He also mentioned that his updated hero costume might include his new infatuation with the style, and that we should keep our eyes peeled for it. We certainly will be waiting on the edge of our seats for this new development!
Best Jeanist was unavailable for comment.
It takes only a little while for his friends to catch a whiff of what he's doing.
"So you're being petty again, right?" Ashido asked, staring at his closet packed full of jeans. "I'm all for it. I always told you you look great in jeans."
"Damn straight," Katsuki said, picking out a new pair for him to wear to the grocery store. "I'm gonna make it my brand now. Take away the one thing that shitty jeanist has."
"That's our Bakugou," Kaminari said, wrapping a pair around his neck like a scarf. "Always looking to make the world a brighter place."
"What can I say? It's a gift."
Already he's read four articles about his newfound love of jeans, and he's sure more are coming. Best Jeanist is probably rolling in his fucking jrave. Not that he's dead, but this'll kill him for sure.
"What's the end goal?" Kirishima asked. "Is this gonna be your thing forever?"
"No way in hell," Katsuki replied. "As soon as I beat the bastard once, I'll be done with it. I just wanna break his streak and make him cry a little, that's all."
"You might wanna reconsider that," Sero said, and pulled up something on his phone. It was the hero popularity billboard, updated hourly by the commission based on a number of factors. Last time he checked, Katsuki was in eleventh, with Deku ahead of him at tenth. But now...
"I'm ahead of Deku," he said incredulously, staring at the page where for the first time, he was in the top ten. "What the fuck? When did this happen? Why did this happen?" He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what stupidly awesome deed he did to jump ahead so suddenly.
"It's the jeans, bro," Kaminari said, putting a hand on his arm. "The jeans put you ahead. Guess the public thirsted so hard, it put you ahead."
"That's so fucking stupid," Katsuki said, but he was grinning. "Deku must be shitting his pants right now." As if on cue, his phone started buzzing with an incoming call from Shitty Nerd. "Fuck. Let me take this."
As he fielded off congratulations from the other hero, his mind was buzzing. He always wanted to beat Deku in heroics, and that didn't change. But the fact that those stupid jeans had such an impact so quickly... Maybe that bastard Jeanist had it right all along. Denim really is the way.
WhoWhatWear.com
Everything to Know About Nitro's New Hero Costume
The pro hero finally unveils his new look, and oh god. Oh my god.
Pro hero Nitro, formerly known for his baggy pants and tank tops, has apparently found it time for a change of appearance. And what a change it is. Goodbye baggy pants, and hello black jeans tight enough to have been painted on.
The jeans, designed by his costume developer, have an orange stripe going up each side, as well as orange stitching around the side, which fit with his motif perfectly. They're also fashioned from explosion-proof material, in order to complement his quirk perfectly. The rest of his costume has remained the same, but we can't get enough of the new look.
And neither can the public, as evidenced by the fact that the new line of jeans by Bakuhatsu, fashioned after his hero costume, is flying off the shelves.
When asked why he changed his hero costume so suddenly, the pro merely said, "It felt right. I can kick ass in any material."
A robber Nitro caught while in this outfit is quoted to have said that she feels blessed to have been arrested by a man "with such obvious panache." Indeed, even the ones on the receiving end of Nitro's attacks can appreciate his costume change.
Look out, Best Jeanist. There's a new contender in town, and his name is Nitro.
"Whatever you're doing, it's highly immature."
Katsuki didn't know how Best Jeanist got his work number, but he was glad that he did. Hearing the annoyance in the man's voice was so much better than just imagining it while reading the paper.
"Who's this?" he asked, just to be irritating.
"Best Jeanist. Whatever stunt you're trying to pull-"
"Stunt? I'm not pulling shit." Katsuki was enjoying himself more and more by the second. "Aren't you the one who wanted everyone to look exactly like you? Well, I'm following your example, old man. 'Ts not my fault I'm doing it better than you."
He can almost hear the steam coming out of the normally-calm man's ears. "You can't just change your brand to whatever you want. It has to reflect you, be connected to you in some way. Changing it out of spite is just petty. I expected more from you."
"Your 'disappointment' bullshit can't hide anything. You're transparent. Without your jeans, you're just a guy who may or may not have a mouth."
"You're digressing. It's obvious to me that your motivations haven't changed since you were in high school."
"Blah blah blah," Katsuki said, not unlike a middle schooler. "You're scared that I'll take your brand from you, and you should be scared. Make way, make way, because I'm onto you."
He hung up the phone on what was probably the most childish phone call he had ever had, but he felt fucking fantastic. He wanted to do more. He wanted to make him angrier.
"Hawks, I need a favor," he said, calling up his old mentor from one fateful internship. They had stayed on good terms, and still talked sometimes at the galas when they met. "Remember once you told me that I should model, and that some of your usual agencies asked about me?"
"'Course. Then you told me that modeling is for boot lickers and asswipes, then hung up the phone." Hawks' tone is teasing, as always. Katsuki was always more of a little brother to him than anything.
"I need the contacts for any modeling agency that'll take me. And tell 'em I only model jeans."
There was a short pause, and Katsuki could hear Hawks laughing on the other end. "I heard you're messing with Best Jeanist, but I didn't know how far you're going. For the record, I approve wholeheartedly. Stick up his ass has it coming. I'll send you everyone I can think of."
"Thank you," Katsuki said, then asked, "Did Best Jeanist really bribe you to never wear jeans again?"
"A very pretty penny," was all Hawks said, and hung up the phone.
StyleSeason.com
Best New Looks of Winter
6. Nitro's jean hoodie
It seems counter-intuitive to combine the ease and comfort of a hoodie with a material as stiff as denim, but pro hero Nitro manages to pull off what he calls a "joodie" with confidence. The denim hoodie, with a front pocket stitched like a jean pocket, also comes with a denim hood, which he wears pulled over his hair.
"It's very warm," Nitro, who has a propensity to dress warmly all year round, commented. "I like it better than a jean jacket."
Commentators allege that this "joodie" might be based off of Best Jeanist's jurtleneck, a trademark feature of his hero costume. To that, Nitro merely says that his old mentor inspires him to this very day.
Whatever the basis may be, these joodies - fashioned with the Nitro logo on the back - will be open for consumer purchase by Bakuhatsu in early February. Be sure to grab one before they're sold out!
Icy Hot requested to meet with him for dinner one night after patrol. They were working on the same case, so they saw each other fairly often, and Katsuki agreed on the condition that Icy Hot pay for his food. His funds were getting a little low from all of the denim products he was buying, even with the extra income he was getting from modeling.
"What's up?" he asked, digging into his extra spicy noodles. His jeans that night were light blue. "You wanted to talk about something?"
"April Fool's day is coming up," the other hero replied, poking at his cold soba. Only he would know something dumb like that.
Icy Hot made most of his image by being a complete and total mystery, becoming the internet's favorite hero cryptid. He was also known for doing something weird every year on April Fool's day. Last year he dyed his hair the other way around and wore colored contacts to reverse his image, which warranted its own Buzzfeed post and an interview on a comedy talk show. The internet lost its shit for a week, and so did Endeavor.
"Yeah, and? I don't do that shit."
"Best Jeanist would say otherwise." There was a discreet smile on Icy Hot's face. "If you don't have something planned, I could lend you a few ideas. I assume you're still trying to mess with him."
Leave it to Icy Hot to try and back me up on this. I should be nicer to the guy. "I wasn't planning on doing anything, but give me your best idea. Maybe I'll go through with it, if it's not too shitty."
Icy Hot's grin grew, and he leaned in to whisper his idea to him. It was so ridiculously petty, so entirely spiteful, that Katsuki almost laughed out loud.
"What do you think?" he asked, and Katsuki could've kissed the guy.
"It might actually kill Best Jeanist. It's perfect."
Buzzfeed.com---April 1st, 21xx
Nitro Changed His Hero Name and the Internet is Living for It
Pro hero Nitro - or should we say, the pro hero formerly known as Nitro - is back at it again with his denim shenanigans, and this time isn't trying to hide the direct attack on Best Jeanist.
The pro hero, who is known for his gruff and abrasive attitude, seems to have embraced the lighthearted spirit of April Fool's day this year by legally changing his hero name from Nitro to... Better Jeanist.
We're not joking on this one. Better Jeanist.
"What can I say?" Better Jeanist said in his interview with Buzzfeed. "If the shoe fits, wear it."
Best Jeanist was unavailable for comment - and what a comment that would have been - but we reached out to a few of Better Jeanist's former teachers and classmates from UA to see if they had anything to say about this.
Eraserhead:
I have no idea what's running through that problem child's head, but if no one's being harmed by it, then I don't think there's any need for concern. I look forward to seeing the Best Jeanist award ceremony this year.
All Might:
The boy is enjoying himself. It was quite funny to me when I read it in the morning!
Uravity:
I couldn't stop laughing for twenty minutes. I could've died, but I would've died happy.
Ingenium:
The conduct displayed in this action is absurd, but seeing as this is a holiday for lighthearted foolery, I suppose I can let it go this time. I will continue to call him Nitro officially, however.
Tsukuyomi:
I own ten pairs of Nitro jeans. If he releases more jeans under the name Better Jeanist, I will buy ten more.
We have no idea how Better Jeanist plans to top this move, but we're looking forward to seeing it either way. The Best Jeanist award ceremony this year, coming up in October, is not something you want to miss!
Katsuki, now better known as Better Jeanist, was sitting in his jair - denim chair, sent to him by a furniture company free of charge - and contemplating his life.
What had his dream been like in high school? Being the number one hero? Destroying a bunch of villains? Now he was in a denim clad battle against his former mentor, and he had his own clothing line named after him. His hero name was Better fucking Jeanist.
Am I a joke? Am I never gonna be able to live this out? He did all of this to make Best Jeanist pay, but if this was going to be his legacy, then he didn't want any part of it.
He contemplated calling his publicist, asking her to shut the whole thing down, but called Deku instead. If anyone knew about shifting aspirations and wanting to be at the top, it was him.
"Kacchan?" he asked as soon as he picked up the phone. "What is it?"
"Fuck, don't sound so concerned," Katsuki said, sinking in his chair. "I'm not dying or anything."
"Well you rarely call me unless it's an emergency."
Fair enough. "I need to know if I'm making a mistake with all of this Best Jeanist bullshit. You study heroes like a fanatic. Tell me how this'll turn out."
Deku was silent for a full minute, long enough that Katsuki had to check that he didn't hang up. But then he spoke. "Every hero has something associated with them. Like All Might has his catchphrase and his hair, Endeavor has his flame beard, Best Jeanist has his denim. Do you want yours to be jean related?"
"Fuck no." Katsuki couldn't think of anything worse than following in Best Jeanist's footsteps, even if it did give the old man a heart attack. "Is that what mine is now? Is that it for me?"
"Not necessarily," he said confidently. "We're still young and upcoming heroes, so we don't really have that brand yet. If you keep going like this, then yeah, that could be your brand. But you still have time to turn around and change it to whatever you want. It's up to you."
"You're so fucking inspirational," Katsuki groaned. "Why are you not one of those feel good speakers?"
"Because I like being a hero," Deku replied, and Katsuki rolled his eyes. Yeah, I got it by now.
"See you around, nerd," he said, and hung up the phone. His momentary crisis was over. He would keep it up until the Best Jeanist awards, then change his name back and let himself wear pants other than jeans.
God he missed his track pants.
As for his hero costume... he kind of liked the look. Alright, I'll keep that, and maybe the brand with it, but that's it. Better Jeanist lived, and at the awards, he dies.
aramajapan.com
Biggest Turnout Yet for This Year's Best Jeanist Award Vote
More people than ever before are voting in this year's Best Jeanist ballot, which can be submitted through phone or mailed in by postcard. The two top competitors seem to be Best Jeanist, a fourteen time winner, and pro hero Nitro (now known as Better Jeanist).
The latter is a newcomer on the jean scene, having only been nominated once before, but he's rapidly gaining support in his campaign to beat Best Jeanist once and for all. Best Jeanist, usually unavailable for comment, merely stated that "The public will make their choice, fair and square."
After hearing this quote, Nitro allegedly snorted and said, "They sure will, old man." No additional comments were made by either.
The results will be announced next month at the Best Jeanist Award ceremony, held in Tokyo. We will all be eagerly anticipating the results to find out who truly is the better jeanist.
Katsuki was nervous.
He shouldn't have been nervous. It was obvious that he won, his ass is ten times better than Best Jeanist's ever was, and either way the Best Jeanist award didn't matter for shit. But he was nervous, because the results were coming out in an hour, according to his publicist, and it was like a project he worked on for a year was finally being graded.
Was I worthy of the jaward? Did I try hard enough? I did everything I fucking could, but that guy's quirk involves jeans. Does that give him an advantage?
He put his phone to the side, sat down on his couch, and groaned. He had a headache, probably stress induced, and he didn't feel like eating the curry he bought himself for dinner. He wanted to go to sleep and have the results ready when he woke up. No, he wanted not to get the results at all.
His phone started buzzing, and he picked up before reading the name. "What is it?"
The voice on the other end sounded somber. "I wanted to call to wish you good luck. The results will be released soon, you know."
How did Best Jeanist get my cell number? Who keeps giving him all of my contact information? "Yeah, I know. I'm preparing my victory speech already, and the outfit I'll wear tomorrow. I'm thinking black jeans, white joodie, and those denim boots you released a while back. Maybe a hat. Denim, of course."
Best Jeanist sighed. "I was hoping we would get out of this without any bad blood, but apparently I was wrong. You're just the same as always, Katsuki."
"Don't fuckin call me that," Katsuki snapped. "Call me Better Jeanist. It's my hero name now, if you didn't hear. And we have bad blood because you keep saying disappointed shit like that. It pisses me off."
"I heard. And I'm sorry if I upset you enough back then that you still hold it in your heart years later."
"Don't give me that 'if I upset you' bull. You did, and you know you did. End of story."
"I'm still sorry."
"You're still the same too, you know. Still think you're hot shit. Still look down on everyone else who isn't all prim and proper like you." Katsuki felt his ears turning red with anger. All of the aggression towards the man that he thought he had diminished through his jactions (jean actions) felt ready to burst from his ears.
"What do you want me to say? That I never looked down on you? That I knew you would be a good hero? That I was just trying to help you be better?" He sounded like he was genuinely asking, and Katsuki's blood boiled just a little less.
"What was the moral of that story with the scorpion?" he asked. "You know, the one where it wants a ride across the river with the frog, but ends up stinging it and killing them both?"
Best Jeanist was silent for a moment, then said, "He said it was just his nature. That he couldn't help hurting the other, even if it hurt him too, because it was his nature." He didn't ask what point Katsuki was trying to make. A good sign.
"That's us. We can't help hurting each other, even when it hurts ourselves." He felt like he was being a little too philosophical and generous, so he added, "Not that I changed by name to Better Jeanist unintentionally. That was totally on purpose."
"I could tell." Best Jeanist's voice is dry, but just the normal amount. "I hope that one day, when we're both older and better, we could try and mend our relationship. Maybe get a beer and reminisce about the assholes we used to be."
"Sure thing, old man," Katsuki said. "Right after I win my award." And he hung up, because he was still a petty little shit, and suddenly he had his appetite back.
best-jeans.com
Best Jeanist Award Winners 21xx
- Hawks (32,837 votes)
- Better Jeanist (21,746 votes)
- Best Jeanist (5,362 votes)
The final outcome comes out in favor of pro hero Hawks, who came out of his jean retirement to wear jeans exactly twice in public. This was apparently enough to decimate the competition, two jean themed heroes, and take this year's first place Best Jeanist award.
"I'm sure it was just luck," the pro is quoted as saying, although he did mention that he modeled a few times. This was his second nomination in his career, the first being a few years back, where he won second prize to Best Jeanist.
Both Better Jeanist and Best Jeanist were unavailable for comment.