Comment on Without All The Nuance

  1. MoonBugs9058 on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 08:30AM UTC

    Welcome back to my silly little exocolonist series :D

    I've only played Tangent's route once, and I stopped her from spreading the virus and blackmailed Lum into letting the subject drop, so I never actually got any insight on how exactly Tangent reacts to if the virus is used; but in my route, the thing that stuck out to me the most was the near depressive stage Tangent fell into at the mere thought of *almost* ending non-human life on Vertumna. From there it kind of sprouted into Tangent and needing to be told "no" from time to time, (and her reliance on the once person who can tell her no), and then from there into the rest of this chapter.

    Tangent is a *super* complex character, and for a while I didn't really know how to tackle writing from her perspective; I just knew that I had to be a little more objective and use more formal-sounded language. My favourite character at the moment is Rex, but I'm actually more experienced in writing Tammy and Cal, so Tangent was just a complete fish out of water moment for me, but I'm super happy that I got her characterization right.

    I didn't actually do a lot of research for the whole of this fic (excluding popping into the game every once and a while to read some dialogue and look at the species descriptions) but you seem like a well-educated exocolonist player, so if you spot any inconsistencies, first forgive me, and then feel free to let me know about them!

    I hope the next few chapters will live up to your expectations (I will admit that one of them is a LOT longer than the others...guess which character I write about..let's just say there's no surprises there) and have a lovely day <3

    Last Edited Thu 22 Aug 2024 08:31AM UTC

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    1. Solstice (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 10:30AM UTC

      Writing from Tang's perspective is hard, and that's why I've only tried it once, despite having written several Sol/Tang fics. I struggle to capture Tang's thought processes and how she interacts with the world around her, which is why I tend to stick to Sol's perspective.

      I think you did a great job, though! I also appreciate how you discussed Tang's discomfort with regards to her body, as it's something I find deeply fascinating as a person who isn't cisgender myself. The way Tang has difficulties taking care of herself brings to mind my own issues with executive dysfunction and how I've also had thoughts of not wanting to be human.

      I took a break from writing about Tang and started writing about Sym instead (specifically Sol/Sym content that doesn't involve Dys, as I noticed that's somewhat uncommon in the fandom). Being able to write whimsically instead of objectively has been a welcome change of pace!

      My new version of Sol also has a different personality than the one I usually write, and I even projected my own gender identity onto her, which has been incredibly validating. 😊

      Exocolonist has been my special interest since February 2023, and it's pretty much on my mind constantly. It's by far the most intense special interest I've ever had. The game inspired me to get back into writing after I took a 10+ year hiatus, and it's helped me cope with a lot of things that've been going on in my life.

      But if you need information about anything from the game, please let me know! I enjoy digging through the code and discovering new things.

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      1. MoonBugs9058 on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 10:53AM UTC

        I'm always happy to try and bring in elements of a characters canonical struggles (such as Tang with her body and Vace with his anger), and I felt that Tangent was one of the ones that I have more experience with. I'm not cis either (genderqueer, i like to say im everything and nothing all at once) but I never really had that big realization that lots of other trans people experience or gender dysphoria. I did, however, relate to Tangent's want to not be human and though I don't experience the same kind of dysfunction that she has (quite the opposite, actually, my brain doesn't let me start things and gets distracted on a dime), I tried my best to turn my personal experiences into something that related more to the character. I often noticed that Tangent's general discomfort with her body wasn't just because of her gender, and was more due to the fact that she viewed it as a prison. At first, I wasn't really sure how to tackle writing that kind of thing, but tying it in with Lum wanting her to engineer a virus certainly helped! I'm just super glad in general that I was able to capture Tangent as a character c:

        I've never tried to write Sym before (mostly because I forget he exists since I only did a run with him in it once) but maybe I'll give it a try in the future! (I think so far he's only been mentioned once in Spider Web of Guilt, and even then it was like 2 sentences.)

        My Sol never really has a defined personality, and it changes from fic to fic, which is something that you can see here, especially once I get around to posting chapter 5. I usually try and alter their mannerisms and attitudes to match whatever route they might be currently on (like how they might speak more formally when on doctor/lawyer/roboticist and be a little more whimsical and energetic on novelist/sportsball coach, etc.) Their pronouns and gender identity also change from fic to fic, and in this one specifically you'll see that they end up using all the pronouns at least once!

        It feels super nice to have an interest powerful enough to drag you out of hiatus/writer's block/writer's funk and while I can't say that I've ever had a special interest (im not officially diagnosed with autism or ADHD but both my brothers are, so I've got a pretty fair shot), I have had a game pull me out of writer's block last summer (i think?) and it was Yo Kai Watch, which I doubt you've ever heard of since it's pretty damn niche. I have 4 published fics, all anonymous, for that game, and I even joined a discord server for it. It seems that every time I've hit a wall in every possible fandom and even in original works, its always there to pull me out.

        I kind of went on a long and unrelated rant there, sorry, but I'll let you know if anything comes to mind about facts and information from the game!
        Also, sorry if bits and pieces of this reply didn't make sense, its 4 in the morning and I don't know why I'm still awake either.
        And thank you for the long comments! I love all and any comments, but I especially appreciate the longer ones :D

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        1. Solstice (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 12:50PM UTC

          With regards to Sym, I didn't start paying attention to him until recently. I'm genuinely surprised it took me so long to like him though when AI characters have been a fascination of mine for a long time.

          Unfortunately, so much of the interesting aspects of his character are hidden away, which is why I had to dig deep to get a better understanding of him. His friendship events are rather lacking too, as a few of them aren't even directly about him, they're about the Array, Overseer, and Gardeners in general.

          And then there's the whole thing with Sym's identity, which I could probably write an entire essay about! I know the game itself and the fandom thinks of Sym as a man, but I personally don't. While I still use the typical he/him pronouns for Sym, I intentionally avoid using masculine gendered terms when referring to him in my fic. It also ties into how the Sol in that specific timeline is agender and exclusively uses she/her pronouns (this is the projection that I mentioned). Also, her true name is Solstice because I thought it sounded cool!

          I love reading about other peoples' Sols and it's one of the best parts of the fandom. I've read so many different fics for this game, including things I usually wouldn't read like male/female romances, and I've had so much fun! Everyone is so creative with their interpretations of the characters, not just with Sol, but all the friends as well.

          I also love all the different timelines and how the game basically lets us do whatever we want since technically everything can happen. While I never mention the time loops in my fics as I find them hard to incorporate, I have a couple of my own canon divergent timelines.

          Oh, thank you! I tend to go overboard when it comes to discussing Exocolonist, but it makes me happy knowing that my comments are appreciated!

          I don't really have anyone to discuss the game with since I'm no longer actively taking part in the fandom, and the few friends that I have don't seem that interested in playing the game. I'm very passionate about it though and I could talk about it forever if I had the chance!

          Also, the game's second anniversary is coming up soon, so that's exciting! I was hoping to get a fic out to celebrate, but because I'm such a slow writer I won't be able to do it now. The idea I had in mind probably would've been too complex for my limited skills though, if I'm being honest...

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          1. MoonBugs9058 on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 05:45PM UTC

            I've never really viewed Sym as a man. I always saw him in a similar way to how I see Aziraphale from Good Omens; some kind of agender, but with masculine pronouns. I think that portrayal of him comes from him not being human; he doesn't connect to gendered terms and pronouns in the way that humans do, but he's eager to learn and connect with the species, leading to him using he/him. I like to think that in other lives, ones that the game doesn't show you, he might connect with humans in other ways, like using she/her, they/them, or even it/its. The other option for how I view his gender is like...well, Crowley, from Good Omens, who is the exact opposite in my eyes. Crowley, to me, is every gender and uses all the pronouns. He's also canonically genderfluid which I think is super cool. Gender in itself is all about self-exploration and expression, so it makes sense that Sym might also feel like human gender terminology doesn't encompass all of what he is, but it tries its best, leading to him using all the pronouns and having all the gender. I go back and forth between these two portrayals of Sym, and I don't know if I'm ever going to end up deciding on just one.

            He also never realy ended up being all that interesting to me; you'd think a humanoid alien with purple skin and beautiful hair would be more enthralling, but I wasn't that enchanted with him. (This is a half-truth. While I was kind of taken with him the first like three times I saw him, the infatuation with him quickly went away.) All his friendship events seemed a little lackluster, and though I love how he loves everything about Sol, I felt like there wasn't enough substance beyond "oo pretty alien" to really keep me looking into his character.

            I like to incorporate the time loops either subtly or very obviously. Typically, stories that don't focus on the time loop don't get a lot of words on the time loop, especially considering that I don't usually write from Sol's perspective; I only did that once with Spider Web of Guilt. Other characters, in their opinion, are only living one life with no retained memories; but there is a cool fic idea in there where someone retains their memories and just doesn't know if they're dreams or not. Anyway, the time loop in this fic gets most obvious in Sol's chapter (chapter 6) because it's written in a very similar way to SWoG and mentions multiple of different lives at once.

            I hate it when I'm interested in something and want to talk about it but nobody understands what I'm talking about. A year ago, my solution to that was to make a google doc that was just me ranting to myself, which typed out and reread, sounds a little pathetic, but it worked. I did actually rope one of my friends into playing exocolonist though, because I kept telling them about the game in relation to the things they were already interested in; time loops (bit one here, they're an In Stars and Time lover), character depth (snippets from the game and also other things that I wrote), and art styles. I'm pretty sure they're going to be the only person I know who will have played the game, but I'm still grateful that they bought it and gave it a shot and got immediately hooked on it.

            The anniversary is in 3 days, right? Aug 25? Maybe I can pretend that this fic is my anniversary celebration fic and not just something i happened to finish 4 days before. Don't worry about the quality of your writing! Fanfics are people's ways of connecting with the media and offering their own ideas to make that piece of media feel a little more full or a little more relatable. Just about every Yo-Kai Watch fic I write is self-indulgent and not up to the usual standard of writing, but I always remind myself that reading any kind of fanwork, no matter the quality, is a privilege. Even if you can't find the words to string together the sentence in your head, the important thing is that you tried, and it made you happy. If you don't mind me asking, what was your idea for the anniversary fic?

            As always, thank you for your comment! They're always appreciated :D

            Last Edited Thu 22 Aug 2024 05:50PM UTC

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            1. Solstice (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 11:00PM UTC

              I was planning to write a post-perfect ending* fic where Sol and all 10 of the friends hang out together. It was going to be this big "where are they now" sort of thing, but when I realised how hard it would be to write so many different characters and their relationships with each other, I scrapped the idea.

              It was also going to be set on a beach because when I read the stuff about the seaside proto-colony, I thought it would make the perfect backdrop for something fun and a little silly!

              Wanting to write about the exocolonists hanging out at a beach isn't even a new thing for me either. Last year in September, before I left the fandom, I tried running a fan week on Tumblr. The very first prompt to kick off the event was "beach trip.".

              The event was unfortunately a failure because I didn't have the clout/status/whatever to draw people in. I'm also not an artist; I only write fics, so I basically had nothing to share with anyone. I don't actually have any published fics because finishing things is pretty difficult for me. I write random stuff then usually delete it because I find some fault in it.

              *Perfect as in maxing out every character's friendship and saving everyone in a single run. I haven't done it myself, but there's a guide on how to do it.

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              1. MoonBugs9058 on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Aug 2024 11:21PM UTC

                Omg beach episode!! That would be really fun, you're right! Also, I didn't even know that a perfect ending was possible, that's crazy. Do you get a special ending for it, or is it just a self-indulgent completion kind of thing?

                Exocolonist doesn't have that big of a fandom, and to be honest, for me personally, I like it that way. I find that people are often much more grateful for fanworks and headcanons and meaningful discussions about the characters when the fandom is smaller. I like writing for little fandoms (mostly beacuse I'm part of my fair few of small fandoms) and I'm sure that even though you found flaws in the fics you published, those who got to read it enjoyed them as well. I've never participated in fandom weeks/months, and I don't have the art skills to draw anything for exocolonist specifically, but I hope that I'll be able to have a place in the fandom for myself, even if it's just as the guy who occasionally posts decent fanfiction.

                I do really appreciate every comment you're leaving for me here, and even in these little snippets of conversation, you've already shared a lot!

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                1. Solstice (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sat 24 Aug 2024 07:25AM UTC

                  It's just a self-indulgent completion thing. I'm going to give it a try after I've earned the platinum trophy for a third time, as a sort of farewell to the game. I probably won't actually play it again for awhile since I've seen most of what it has to offer.

                  I published a couple of fics to AO3 last year in March, then deleted them soon after. Even though the fandom's work page was archived, the actual links to my works aren't accessible, meaning they're gone forever (and I didn't make backups). It sucks, but it's my own fault for not valuing my work enough to think it's worth keeping. I've deleted so much stuff, and I genuinely feel bad whenever I think about how much I could've added to the fandom if I kept everything.

                  I didn't post anything during my fan week since I procrastinated pretty hard, but if I can find a backup of the prompt list I made, I might revisit it later!

                  All I have right now is various WIPs for a multi-chapter Sol/Sym fic that I'm writing out of order and some Sol/Tang stuff that I wrote months ago. One of the Sol/Tang fics was for a Femslash February prompt that I planned to make part of a series to give the fandom more sapphic content, but then I just... kind of gave up on it.

                  As for the fandom, though, I enjoyed taking part in it and talking with everyone! There's so many nice people, and while I unfortunately didn't make any friends, I still think about some of the conversations I had.

                  Maybe when my mental health is sorted out and I feel comfortable socialising again, I'll go back to Tumblr. I have so much to discuss when it comes to Exocolonist.

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                  1. MoonBugs9058 on Chapter 1 Sat 24 Aug 2024 08:38AM UTC

                    I often find that when I stop liking the fics I write, there are people out there who enjoyed them enough to comment, leave kudos, or bookmark. I always feel bad when I consider deleting them because I know how bad it sucks to look through your bookmarks and see "this work as been deleted" and just go "aw man i wonder what that was :(" Instead, my alternative to completely getting rid of them is to change them to an anonymous author so those people can still enjoy them without it being traced back to me. It probably won't happen with these fics or the other fics on my profile because I am rather proud of them at the moment (especially the two Tammy/Cal stories), but that's generally what I end up doing. (I have a total of 21 published fics, and only 8 of them aren't anonymous; which tells you wonders about my self confidence.) Whenever I under value my own work, I always try to remember that even if only one person left kudos or cared enough to comment, then it's worth keeping around, even if I don't want it tied to me.

                    I haven't actually engaged with the fandom on Tumblr much, though I have posted about this fic, but I've seen a lot of brilliant art and headcanons, so I know the fandom is wonderful. The extent of my interactions with the fandom is actually just here on AO3; with you and other commenters, because I do try my best to reply somewhat meaningfully to every comment I receive.

                    Don't rush yourself when it comes to your mental health and self-confidence! You're just as important as the ideas you have :)
                    Take care and thank you again for commenting and letting me know that you enjoy the fic :D

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