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12-12-XXXX

My name is Lyney Snezhevich. I am 23 years old and I'm a part-time magician and full-time student at Teyvat University. I'm a student in the Fontaine department, my track is Arts and Design and I major in theatre arts. I am the son and heir of the Knave. I have a twin sister named Lynette and a little brother named Freminet. Lynette is also my classmate and Freminet is entering his senior year in high school.

Recently, I survived a suicide attempt. My therapist suggested I write a diary. This diary will be locked with a key that only Father will know about. I can't have Lynette and Freminet reading about this.

My therapist is Dr. Thoma and he suggested I begin talking about my struggles so that I can monitor my progress, so I guess I'll start with the attempt. I wanted to jump into a frozen river under Sta. Focalors Bridge. Well, it's not as dramatic as it sounds. Someone talked me out of it. I didn't catch his name, but he stayed with me at the bridge and bought me coffee. He was really pretty. I think I've seen him at school before, I'm not quite sure.

12-13-XXX

I found my savior's account. His name is Kinich from the Natlan section of TeyvU. He's one of the six honor students and his rank is "Malipo", I believe. So he's pretty smart I guess. He's also good at gymnastics and extreme sports.

I remember him now. When I performed as an opening act for the theatre and cooking clubs' "5-Day Career Bazaar" three months ago, he passed out after the show. It was in the hallway, I believe. Heart attack, most likely. At least, that's what his friend Mualani told me. As the host of the show, I was obligated to know. Her words, not mine.

I find it kind of strange that a person with a weak heart likes to indulge in sports that spike their adrenaline. Heard he has pancreatic cancer too.

And here I am wallowing over my own feelings.

Looks like this diary will be about him for a while. I don't mind. Gets my head off of things.

12-14-XXXX

I met up with him today. Well, sort of. The sports club and theatre club have a joint project for the New Year Ball. Something about mixing magic with contemporary dance, gymnastics, and a little bit of Romeo and Juliet. But our president, Venti, wanted to spice things up a bit. Both Romeo and Juliet will be played by men, one from the sports club and the other from our club. Auditions are today. None of the guys in the sports club wanted to join in and Venti looked really close to dropping the idea.

I think it was the look of obvious disappointment on his face that convinced the other club to volunteer someone, but a girl named Amber practically shoved Kinich onto the stage with a script right in his hands. She looked pretty proud of herself for doing that.

I guess he got the role by default. He looked like he really didn't want to do this but seeing as Venti looked really happy, he said nothing. Auditions for Juliet (now named Julio apparantly) start tomorrow. I kinda want to get the role now, hehe ;)

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12-15-XXXX

8:00 AM

Auditions are today. I'll do multiple entries for a single day. I've been practicing my ass off all night.

9:00 AM

I got the role :)

Venti is giving his all for this play. I mean, it's his final year here in TeyvU. Practice starts this afternoon. Kinich and I will spend the morning practicing our exchange of lines before we start with the actual blockings. This is my chance to get to know him more!

1:00 PM

He's good. Surprisingly good. Swept me off my feet.

I did the ballet parts of the choreo with the rest of the troupe while the sports club did contemporary.

The plot was really different. It still had the classic Romeo's family doesn't like Juliet etc etc (it's so weird to call Juliet "Julio"), blah blah blah, forbidden love and they both die in the end. But for some reason Juliet lives a double life as the ballroom performer Jaspar, and Romeo falls for Jaspar and not Julio or Juliet or whatever my name is supposed to be.

It's also a musical. Venti managed to convince the music club to lend a hand at the last second so now it's all of the performance arts clubs collaborating. It's gonna be pretty hectic for the next few weeks.

4:00 PM

Kinich gave me his number. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a normal thing to happen to anyone but it's not everyday a cute guy gives you his contact~

Plus, this gives me the chance to talk with him more often and get to know him.

On a different topic, I'm starting to relapse lately. I'll have to raise this concern to dr. Thoma. I really don't want to fall into my old habits again. Especially not with shows coming. Can't risk bleeding all over my outfits. Chiori's is NOT cheap.

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12-16-XXXX

Pretty hectic day. The school's year end party happens this Friday so I guess the teachers wanted to get as much work done as possible. We had three consecutive quizzes, can you believe it? And all of them were language subjects huhuhu

The cast for "Romeo and Julio" (Venti's script title not mine)  ended up agreeing on a Secret Santa and I got Kinich. I literally just met the guy, how am I supposed to know what he likes? I told this to Father and she said I should ask aunty Rosalyn for gift advice (she loves to give us gifts). Maybe I'll get him new running shoes? I mean, I'm the one in charge of delivering costume comissions to Chiori's so I know everyone's shoe size. Maybe a new jacket too since I noticed the one he always wears has a lot of busted threads and a broken zipper. I found one at a shop the other day that really complements his eyes.

Yeah I'll get him a jacket and running shoes!

On a more personal note, I think I'm coming down with a fever. Been having dry coughs lately. Father made me drink medicine and it tasted like shit. Might go to dr. Baizhu if the cough doesn't go away within the next three days.

Other than that, I've been doing great. Venti says my performance as Julio exceeded his expectations and he ended up changing Julio's career from a street musician to a magician to cater my expertise. I'm honestly flattered. Lynette's been helping me draft some magic tricks for the play. I can't put on tricks that are too flashy since the other cast members don't know how to do them, so my usual stunts are out of the question. So far all we've made up are card tricks and disappearing tricks. Typical stuff. I'll have to present this to the rest of the cast soon so they'll know what to do in those situations.

I went for my usual sessions to dr. Thoma yesterday. Nothing much happened but he has been scheduling regular sessions ever since I told him about the attempt. I didn't tell him it was Kinich that saved me that day or else he'll start teasing me!

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12-16-XXXX

Double entry today.

Kinich texted me and asked if he wanted to hang out. He said he needed to practice his lines more but can't do it at the gym since the basketball team is practicing for winter games. We both don't have any lectures for the rest of the day so I agreed to go.

The scene he's been having trouble with lately is the part where Romeo argues with his family about his romance with a man. I don't know why it's that scene in particular, but he always freezes up whenever we do it.

His friend Ajaw came along. I don't know much about Ajaw other than the fact that he pretty much looks after Kinich due to his health. They've been friends since childhood I think. His personality is something to say the least. Despite the fact that he always yaps about how badly he wants Kinich dead, he seems to be pretty concerned everytime he showed even the slightest bit of fatigue and gets really fussy. I don't think Ajaw likes me. He always tells me to buzz off whenever we have breaks during practice so he can make sure Kinich's symptoms don't start again.

He reminds me of myself, in a way. He puts on this big extravagant act of being a narcissist but he still deeply cares about those he trusts. I mean if I were in their situation and Lynette or Freminet were that sick, I'd be constantly fussy too.

I kept coughing throughout practice, especially when Ajaw was being all touchy with Kinich during breaks. It might just be because it's already winter. I got a packed show schedule. Three magic shows at the Opera Epiclese the days leading up to the 25th, a New Year's Eve show, and the joint play. Can't afford to get sick now. I guess I'll ditch practice for today. I hope Father will understand.

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12-17-XXXX

Hung out with Kinich again today. I mean, if we're going to be playing a role as intimate as lovers, we might as well get to know each other more.

We went to the arcade today and pretty much tried to best each other in terms of how many tickets we earned. He's super good at games, especially shooters and fighting games. What I didn't know was that he was a good dancer.

I managed to convince him to play Just Dance with me and see who got the highest score. Honestly, I got kinda jealous at how good he was. Out of my curiosity, I looked at his Adventurer's Handbook profile again and scrolled down. He barely had any posts. Most of them were video game screenshots and extreme sports. Scrolled a little more, and it showed a picture of all the awards he's won. Lo and behold, there was an award for a dance competition.

Would Father grant

Screw that. He got enough tickets for matching keychains. They were in the shape of puzzle pieces. I teased him about it and he got a little flustered. So cute! He told me to give the other one to whoever I wanted so obviously I gave it to him. I mean, come on. It's a testament to our friendship!

Everytime he smiled I feel my chest close in on itself. It's getting a little annoying.

Oh and Father got me new magic cards! They're custom cards painted by the artist Calx himself. Each one had a different cat breed on it with my signature pointed teeth. I'll save them for the three day magic show at the Opera Epiclese to make it extra special.

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12-18-XXXX

Another hectic day. Acads are officially done for the year. I would personally like to thank Prof Tsaritsa for her suggestion to the board to postpone all academic affairs until next year. She's a real on fr fr

We did as much practice as we could do today. Some of the cast will be leaving for the holidays and they'll probably be gone for at least two weeks so we're trying to rehearse as many scenes and get as much choreo done as possible. I now know why Amber practically shoved Kinich into the role. It's like he becomes a completely different person on-stage. Honestly, I'm kinda jealous of his easily he gets into the zone when he's dancing. I mean, I'm a magician so there's a stark difference between us, but I wish I was that fast to adapt when I'm doing shows. Acting, on the other hand, is pretty yikes. He always freezes up whenever we do scenes involving Romeo's family problems but every other scene he's able to do just fine. He was doing great when we did it with Ajaw, heck even Mualani says he asks her to do the dad's lines and he does just fine. So what's up with the stage?

We had Xiao act as the father since he and Kinich look similar enough to pass as family. He puts on a pretty good angry act. But Kinich isn't exactly the type to get intimidated easily, so I wonder why he always seems so meek and small during the confrontation scene.

It kinda frustrates me. I'm his partner. I'm the one with the most scenes with him, yet I can't even tell what goes on in his head?

Damn it why am I acting like some sort of worried wife

Speaking of, we hung out again. We went to a different cafe. He took me to a cat cafe that his friend owned. I think his name was Ororon, another one of the six honor students in the Natlan section.

The tightening in my chest isn't going away and I coughed up blood today. Honestly, it got worse when Kinich and Ororon started talking to each other and the coughing ended up interrupting their conversation. It's becoming bothersome not just to me but to others now. I'm going to Dr. Baizhu's with Father tomorrow. Hopefully he'll have a fix for this.

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12-19-XXXX

Ok. Real talk. I have hanahaki.

Father and I went to dr. Baizhu's today. Coincidentally, Kinich was there too. Said he needed to get check-ups every week. We chatted, then Mualani came over and started chatting his ear off while they waited for him to be called. And as if on cue, the tightness in my chest happened again. Kinich noticed my uneasiness and said I could go into the office first. Now, you normally can't do that, but Father knows how to pull some strings so I ended up entering first anyway. Just as his assistant, Qiqi, closed the door, I threw up blood again. Except this time, there were plants. I don't know what type it was, but it looked Natlanese.

I think I already know who my feelings are for, and it's scary.

I mean, I'm pretty open with my preference, but it feels kinda like a punch in the gut. Already oppressed, and now that love might cause my death.

And besides, what if this makes our friendship awkward? I don't want to lose him.

Dr. Bai suggested surgery, but he said I'd lose all feelings for that person, platonic and romantic. I didn't want that. I didn't want to risk our friendship.

As for how it started, he's just mesmerizing to me. I guess he's everything I ever wanted to have for myself. He's able to be free of any expectations, I have to shoulder all the pressure for my family. He can be himself fully, I'm constantly putting up an act. He's able to live life to the fullest despite having limited time, yet here I am wanting to die. It intrigued me. I never knew what it felt like to be saved. I never knew how to be vulnerable, but he gave me that chance. He saved me when I was about to end it all, and he lets me be vulnerable. I don't have to keep up a facade when I'm with him.

I really am a love-ill fool.

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December 20

Hotel Buffes'dete, Fontaine Street, Teyvat

7:30 AM

Lyney stared blankly at his food. The atmosphere this morning was quite somber. Arlecchino looked at her son intensly, face indifferent but mind running. The concept of "love" was a strange one to her. The idea that someone could love so much it kills them was intriguing to her. But first and foremost, she was a Father. As interested as she was with the act of loving so much it hurts you, she wouldn't want that upon her children.

But she knows Lyney would never agree to the surgery. She knew her son loved loving and if dying for love was an option, he'd do it. She's heard of the boy who won Lyney's heart, of the fact that he and Lyney were acting as lovers on-stage. She's heard of the boy's limited time. An awfully tragic tale. Whether Lyney's feelings were reciprocated or not, their story would end in tragedy.

But she kept her mouth shut. Upsetting the children would be a terrible look for her.

"Father, I'm headed off," Lyney announced. As always, his plate was only half-empty. She nodded in acknowledgment. "Don't forget the gifts you bought for your peers," she said, taking a sip of her tea that's gone cold with how long she'd been thinking. "Father, I'm 23! You needn't remind me of that anymore!" he jokingly complained. Arlecchino grunted in response before turning her attention to the neglected newspaper sitting on her lap.

Truth be told. She knew that Lyney's crush was the one who saved him from an attempt. Though Lyney tried to hide it, it's become clear to her. She just hopes the lad won't fall into cardiac arrest when he receives his rather... expensive gifts.

December 20

Teyvat University Main Campus, Theatre Room, Sumeru Building, Celestia Street, Teyvat

10:30 AM

"Okay guys! Hope your tummies are all full, because it's time for gifts!" Venti announced to the cast. The joint project cast's year end party was in full swing. The theme was pajamas and the entire theatre was all cozied up. There were comforters and pillows on the stage with a food bar at the very back part. Lyney picked up the gifts he bought. They were a custom jacket and a pair of running shoes from a Liyuen sports gear company his uncle Pantalone mentioned.

Kinich almost had a heart attack when he opened the gifts up.

"These- these are big names and professional quality... not even celebrity athletes can get their hands on these that easily. Lyney where on Teyvat did you get the money for these?!" he said, utterly dumbfounded. "No, no, I can't accept these for free. Let me repay you, name your price," he offered. Lyney shook his head. "No, no, mon ami, my Father insisted on giving you these gifts," Lyney chuckled. Kinich was still looking at him as if he was insane. "Lyney, I'm serious here. These- I can't accept these without some form of payment," he insisted. "Hm... well, you can start with using them to their fullest potential!" Lyney beamed.

Kinich was quiet for a moment. "Well... it feels kind of lame to give you these now..." he pulled out a small box. "Oh? This is such a coincidence! It appears fate really likes to pair us~" Lyney cooed, feeling a cough fight to escape his lips. He can't barf up a flower here. Not now, not in front of him.

Lyney unwrapped it and he saw a deck of magic cards. Each card was hand drawn and in tarot style. Each character on the card was a different historical figure from Teyvat's history, such as its founder P.O., Istaroth, Venti's great great great great grandmother who expanded the city's construction, Cesar the great magician and Lyney's idol, et cetera. But one stuck out, a card where Lyney himself was the centerpiece, and it was the most detailed.

"I figured you'd have owned every brand of magic cards out there so I thought I'd make some for you. They're not the best quality, and I'm no artist, but I tried," he tugged at his headband. Lyney smiled widely as he shuffled the cards. "Mon ami, these are perfect! Exactly what I need for a show this weekend! Oh, why don't you drop by? I have a three-day show at the Opera Epiclese starting on the 2nd and the Grand Finale is on the 25th! It's a free for all, everyone can go!" he invited. Kinich looked surprised at the sudden invitation. "Hm... alright. I'll see if I can go," he smiled. Lyney's heart skipped a beat.

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12-21-XXXX

It's officially holiday break. Honestly just when I thought I won't be able to speak to Kinich, he sends me a friend request over on Akasha. I would wonder how he got my account, but then I remembered I had it linked in AHB. We chatted about things, plans for the holidays, etc. His friend, Mualani, even sent me an invite to their server. I'm quite flattered. They asked me if I wanted to join them on a ski trip after the show. I'll have to ask Father, considering my hanahaki. I can't let them know.

I have to resume practice now. I've been using the magic cards Kinich gave me. Honestly, they're really good quality. They're the type I like to shuffle and hide for the audience to try and find.

12-22-XXX

Show Day 1. A lot of big shots were there. Her Excellency even came. Mualani managed to drag Kinich along too, but he looked a little sluggish and he had an IV attached to his arm so he had to be at the very back row. I guess he came back from a check-up.

I had to start the show off with a bang so I lit myself on fire. Honestly, my most dangerous stunt yet. After the fire went out, the lights dimmed and Lynette popped out of a gingerbread house. Frosting was everywhere.

Luckily, my symptoms didn't flair up today.

12-23-XXX

Day 2

I spat out a flower. It was not in the intended program, but I was able to play it off as a trick. Kinich knew it was hanahaki. What am I supposed to do now?

Luckily there wasn't any blood yet

Father and I went to dr. Baizhu's again after that

12-24-XXX

Rest day today. Didn't do anything. I think I'm reaching stage 2 because my coughs are getting scratchy. I think stage 2 means that the stems are starting to form. Dr. Baizhu says I need to stay away from spicy food from now on or else I'd damage my throat beyond repair. I'm still adamant about my decision to not have the surgery.

12-25-XXXX

Last show day today. Ended it off with a flying trick but the machine malfunctioned and I fell. It's like a 50m drop. I was for sure going to die so I closed my eyes and braced for impact, but then I felt someone grab me and when I opened my eyes, my face was really close to his. It was SO AWKWARD

The eye contact was weird enough but the fact that I was being bridal carried in the middle of the crowd after completely bombing my closing act by my CRUSH was all the more humiliating

They did give us a standing ovation, thinking it was all part of the act. Furina, the iudex's cousin and my classmate, even said something about how such a romantic ending was perfect for the occasion. We were able to play it off as an act, but the look on Kinich's face was enough to tell me that even he didn't expect himself to do that.

Mualani gave me the deets (bless her). She said after the machine took off, she noticed smoke coming from the back and the stage crew was panicking (they were at a balcony and had a pretty clear view of the back). Then I fell and he just jumped off the balcony and catched me. He's her adoptive sister's instructor, so I guess the whole "saving a falling person" is just a regular Tuesday for him, but archons.

This is probably the second time he saved me from falling to my doom.

(For the record, dr. Thoma said I could joke about the attempt, so if anyone other than Father reads this and thinks it's in bad taste, piss off)

12-26-XXXX

Father let me go on the ski trip! Ajaw, Albedo (the president of the science team) and Clorinde (my DnD campaign buddy) will join us and we'll meet up at Dragonspine National Park. It's a three-day stay. First day is the actual skiing, second is mountaineering, and third is a figure skating show. Furina will be performing I think. Hopefully the flowers stay down for a bit.

12-27-XXXX

Went for a quick assessment with dr. Thoma before the trip and he says I've been looking happier than before. I'm honestly grateful to have him as my therapist. As for the hanahaki, dr. Bai said as long as I don't think about it too much, it won't be a problem

But there is a problem

I'm stuck in a room with Kinich (and Ajaw but he's not important)

Father offered to rent three rooms for us in a nearby hotel. Mualani had Kachina tag along so they shared a room, Clorinde and Albedo shared a room, and now here I am.

We go skiing tomorrow. This is probably the first time since forever that I touch my gear. Hopefully I won't make a fool out of myself again ;-;

12-29-XXXX

Well, bust.

Cold weather and hanahaki do NOT go well together. My throat's all scratchy and I've been coughing up flowers non-stop. It's so hard to not think about it when our beds are right next to each other.

Ajaw seems to know about how I actually feel. He's been giving me the stink eye since we came here.

I had to skip the mountaineering today, which was a total bummer. I wasn't totally alone. Kinich stayed too, said the cold got to him yesterday and would rather stay indoors than risk anything. Ajaw went with them, blabbering about how he'll reach the top the fastest

Honestly, it's as if fate has been playing tricks on me lately.

I just now realized that I've been coughing up rainbow roses. I never realized that those were his favorite flower

But now that the stems are forming, I'm bound to experience coughing up bloodied flowers soon.

I wonder how that'll affect the play. We decided that since we were together, we'd rehearse a few scenes

It made my hanahaki flair up, but I was able to hold it in. Sort of

(Pro tip: Never do that. I could NOT breathe)

12-30-XXXX

Didn't do much today. We did have a DnD campaign over at Clorinde and Albedo's room while we waited for the show to start. Ajaw sucks as a DM, by the way. We had to keep things tame for Kachina's sake but I feel like it would've gotten crazier if she wasn't there.

The show was spectacular. Everyone danced on the ice with such flair it could put my own shows to shame (that hurt to write). It was a retelling of that one legend Freminet loves to read. Something about a human playing a hundred year show to save the world. Furina played the main character.

It's New Year's Eve tomorrow. Father insists on inviting Kinich's family over for dinner.

12-31-XXXX

Well, last day of the year. We had a pretty big dinner. Other than my Father's collegues, Lynette's girlfriends and Freminet's boyfriend showed up with their families too. This is where I find out that Father's senior is engaged to Kinich's adoptive mother. Ajaw was really quiet the entire time, about time he learned to read the room. We watched some fireworks

I wanted to do something impulsive. I don't know what came over me, but I suddenlt had the urge to kiss him. I stopped myself though. I don't want to ruin our friendship due to my desires.

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1 -5-XXX

4 days no update? Didn't feel like writing for a couple days so I'll just list down all that went down in one entry.

New year was great. Couldn't sleep. Everyone was too loud, even for practicing. Kinich stayed the night so we just decided to watch some fireworks until we fall asleep. I ended up waking up in my bed and Kinich was sitting on the beanbag, fast asleep. Father said he carried me back there at around 3 in the morning. Just recalling it is already making the hanahaki flair up.

The party from last night spent the day together, it was a weird party. Father and the other execs at Fatui Enterprise went to go talk about things, so the rest of us just did karaoke. Or at least I tried. Everytime I tried to sing, I could just feel the thorns.

Didn't do much at 2. Coughed up blood, which was a really big problem. Father and I went to dr. Bai's again, and he said that it wasn't a good sign. He said I'm nearing stage 3, which is where the roots would be so tangled into my lungs it'd be hard to tell which ones were blood vessels and which were roots. At this rate, if I did decide to do the surgery, all forms of love for any person will disappear. Meaning that not only will I lose feelings for him, but also for my family. I can't have that. They're everything to me, I'd rather die a thousand deaths than choose to not love my family.

I mean, I knew I wasn't gonna make it past 30, but damn.

Jan 3 and 4 were pretty much the same. Except Venti said he did a last minute decision with Furina to make the play more romantic.

The addition? A stage kiss. A damned stage kiss.

As for today, I went to both dr. Thoma and Baizhu for advice on this. It'll be tricky, with the hanahaki and all. Dr. Bai said it luckily won't trigger anything, I'm worried about how we'll handle it. Dr. Thoma's been trying to calm me down. I don't want to back out of a chance to wow the audience, but at the same time, I don't know what to feel.

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1-11-XXXX

I can't get the courage to do the stage kiss. Everytime my face gets close to his, I can feel the flowers start to rise up. I don't want to disappoint Venti by saying I can't do it. I mean, come on. I'm Lyney! I'm supposed to be able to handle mundane scenes like that! The performance date was moved to the end of the term, so we have an extra three weeks to practice. I'm headed to Kinich's place to practice in a more private setting. Xiao's coming over to since they're partners in a research project. I hope I don't fuck it up.

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1-14-XXXX

Aye so the New Year Ball was cancelled. Yknow what that means? Our performance was moved AGAIN. Venti was really going through it. They pushed the date to Feb. 14. Y'know, love story and everything.

Also, Xiao had a great suggestion for the stage kiss. Since the audience can only see the front, we could just turn our backs (or at least Kinich would since he's taller) to the audience and make it seem like we did kiss but in actuality all we did was a good bunch of nothing. It's completely foolproof!

On a more personal note, I find it kind of strange how I'm coughing up rainbow roses now when it initially was some sort of Natlanese flora. Dr. Baizhu said I had the worst flower since roses had a WICKED amount of thorns, so he prescribed an extra amount of medicine. It's really hard for performances, but I already made it this far.

Sometimes though, I get the urge to just grab a knife, cut myself open, and rip the flowers out along with my love. If I was gonna stop loving everything that made me want to live for so long, I might as well die, you know? This was what I wanted after all.

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1-17-XXXX

Father saw the last part of the previous entry and she expressed concern about it. I talked about it to Dr. Thoma, and he and Dr. Baizhu have been getting in touch ever since my hanahaki reached stage 2. Dr. Bai said that a common side-effect of the disease is intensified emotional responses, and a handful of his patients who have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts (like me) reported that the urges to end it all have grown. Dr. Thoma has been very concerned about my well-being, considering how much my mental state has been improving these past few days. All that work to get me back on track toppling down over something as fleeting as love.

I can't help it. Love has always been my driving force to keep living, to keep doing magic. Now it'll be the reason I die. I mean, yeah I tried to die but at least I know that I went down on my own accord, not because nature decided she didn't like me.

Kinich and I will head to the movies later. I hope he won't notice my mood change.

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1-23-XXXX

Been a while? Well, I was in the hospital for a couple days. Coughed up a lot of flowers at school, the toilets were full of blood. We were supposed to have our monthly barbeque dinner at the House with the orphans Father takes care of but I nearly burnt my face on the grill cause I passed out (according to Freminet, at least).

Father said He was my most frequent visitor. I was kinda comatose for a few days, so I never realized. He always left flowers. Most of the flowers on my bedside were from him. Surprisingly, even the cecilias. I thought Venti or Amber, hell even Aether would be a possibility, would've left them but nope.

He never brought rainbow roses though.

February is nearing and the only scene we're still struggling with is the stage kiss. I go back to school next week but I will be headed to Kinich's place with Xiao and Ifa (he's acting as Tybalt) to practice the scene.

We did some improvements, but since I haven't practiced for a while, I'd need to do some revising.

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1-25-XXXX

Lantern Rite is just around the corner! The Ski Gang (Mualani named it not me) will be headed for some dimsum and LBBQ on the 29th. Freminet's boyfriend (Gaming I believe?) will be doing a lion dance near the place we'll be eating. Hope the view Clorinde's renting would look nice. We're all pitching in, so I really hope my hanahaki doesn't flair up.

On some showbiz news, a dragon dance troupe recently asked for a collaboration on the 28th. I'm just the opening act for their dance but it's still an honor to be participating. I already laid out my plan. Just a simple disappearing trick that'll transition to the arrival of the dragon. Nothing too flashy, but also nothing too boring. I really don't want to bomb this performance too.

Kinich didn't show up for practice today though. Amber said that Ajaw told her that his symptoms were getting bad again so he might now show up to class for a couple days. Hell, he'll probably miss the dimsum date altogether, which is a real bummer.

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1-29-XXXX

It's Lantern Rite! Clorinde couldn't make it to the group date so we just decided to video chat her and Kinich through the group chat. This is probably the first Lantern Rite I'll ever celebrate with friends that aren't my relatives. I think I ate too much at the barbeque, so I'll probably try to burn all that fat soon. Oh, and trust me. Spicy oily food and hanahaki do NOT go well with each other. My throat felt like it was being ripped to pieces.

Guess what? No flowers or coughing today! Hopefully it stays that way.

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February 1

Bubu Hospital, Room 103

5:30 PM

"Hey kid, you have a visitor!" Mavuika beamed.

He'd been in the hospital for a few days. He expected Ajaw or Mualani, but not Lyney. Well, he should've considering that Lyney was, for lack of a better term, his best friend. It just felt surreal that someone that wasn't Mavuika, Ajaw, Mualani, or (sometimes) Thrain would visit.

"Mon ami! Mualani asked me to bring you the notes from the lectures you missed!" Lyney sat next to him and pulled out some papers from his bag. "Oh, and I had some leftover nian gao from Lantern Rite. Here, have some!"

Kinich was fully expecting the regular old nian gao you'd find from grannies at the corner stores, but no, it was Northland Brand. He didn't even know Northland sold food.

Seriously, he knew Lyney was a big shot (if the New Year's Eve party was anything), but this is ridiculous!

Absentmindedly, he asked Lyney. "Did you... y'know..."

Lyney's eyes widened for a bit before they relaxed, as if he understood. Kinich realized that his question might be a little too personal. "Oh- uh- nevermind! You don't have to-"

"I can't bring myself to, honestly."

Silence falls between the two, but it wasn't awkward. It was the type of silence that carried the feeling of mutual understanding.

"But y'know, I wouldn't mind dying out of love for someone. I find it quite humanizing, actually."

"Don't give up so easily. Don't knock it 'til you try it, y'know? If you ask me, anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

Lyney hummed in response, feeling flowers rise in his throat. Mualani always said compliments were rare from Kinich, so hearing that made his heart swell in a 'gonna-explode-and-die-soon' way. He tried to change the topic before he barfed out any flowers. "Also, Venti's asking about your condition. It's the 1st and the show is drawing nearer each day so..."

"They said I'd be discharged either tomorrow or on Monday. Mavuika probably won't let me go back to school immediately though, so I'll probably be back by Wednesday. Can you relay that to Venti for me? I don't have his number."

Lyney snapped his finger. "No problem, mon ami! Leave to Lyney!"

Chapter Text

2-2-XXXX

It's my birthday! Spent it at the hospital with the Ski Gang. We did some DnD and they let me be DM for today. The campaign ended with Clorinde and Kinich somehow turning into cats, Mualani became a Marechaussee Hunter, and Albedo was suddenly a woman named Dorothy.

I also did a show for my siblings and the kids at the orphanage after that. Everyone was smiling and laughing. That's what birthdays are all about! Honestly, everyone's smiles is enough for me.

Father got me and Lynette a cake. If we're being honest, I barely ate any. I let Lynette and everyone else have a go before grabbing a slice for myself. The good thing is nobody noticed. Although I do feel like Father did because she slipped an extra serving of barbeque on my plate.

Coughed up a few rainbow roses some time after the party though. They were covered in blood. I'm honestly kinda scared now.

Maybe I should've just gotten the surgery.

Chapter Text

2-9-XXXX

Haven't written in a while. Why, you may ask? Hopital ( ；д； )

I'll be out tomorrow. We're almost done with polishing the play so it's mostly just fixing up the choreos when I get back. On a more grim note, they said the hanahaki is progressing really fast and I'm nearing Stage 3

Stage 3 basically means I'll either lose my voice or my speaking will be greatly limited. Man.

Chapter Text

February 10

Teyvat University Main Campus, Cafeteria B, Liyue Building, Celestia Street, Teyvat

11:30 PM

Lyney walked to his table while carrying a tray of food. He was just discharged yesterday and he already missed a week's worth of quizzes so now he has to catch up. He doesn't necessarily need to take them (considering the extra credit he gets by participating actively at the Opera Epiclese), but it wouldn't look good to Father. Plus, some of his teachers don't take the extra credit at all so it's better safe than sorry.

Lynette ended up moving schools some time ago. If he recalls, she went to Nabu Malikata's Women's Academy for Performance Arts. She was personally offered a scholarship there after the head chairwoman of the school watched their performance at the Opera the other day and he insisted she went there. But that meant he wasn't attending any classes with her anymore.

It was rather lonely. The table they always shared was deserted now. Sure, Lyney was quite popular, but he didn't really have many close friends to share tables with. Well, other than the Tabletop Troupe and Ski Gang, but they all had conflicting schedules. Especially Navia.

"Mind if I sat here?"

Lyney looked up in surprise and saw Kinich. "Oh, mon ami! Of course not, feel free!" he gestured. The other boy sat down at the seat opposite him. "Your usual table full?"

Kinich nodded. "Too many people. One of the guys on the rock climbing team's birthday is tomorrow so all his fans came flocking to our table. Couldn't eat in peace. Most of the team left so I kinda just followed. Honestly, I feel bad for leaving the guy but he loves the attention. What about Lynette? Aren't you two always together?"

Lyney waved his hand. "Ah, she just transfered to a different school. Honestly, it's kinda lonely but she's out there being her own self so I don't mind! But I could say the same to you. Aren't you always with Mualani and Ororon?"

"Ororon caught the flu the other day and his grandma isn't letting him out and Mualani's on an outing with the swim team."

"Oh right! They won gold in the Nod Krai Winter Games, didn't they? Tell her I said congratulations!"

The two conversed as they ate. Kinich wasn't a talkative person, so hearing him talk so much with Lyney made him tingly. He wasn't like this to Mualani, Ajaw, Ororon, hell even to Mavuika.

Just a shame Lyney might soon lose his voice. Might as well talk to each other as often as possible now.

...

Flowers. He can feel them. Lyney hunched over, hand covering his mouth. Not here, not now. Not with everyone watching.

Kinich acted faster than Lyney, helping the boy up and running to the nearest restroom as fast as they could. Lyney let everything out. The rose petals were basically stuck together with clots of blood and the thorns were getting sharper. The leaves were getting all tangled and stuck to each other now. To make matters worse, his lunch decided it'd be a good idea to come back out and his throat stung.

Well, that was an eventful -- and rather painful -- lunch.

He honestly wonders how the toilets haven't clogged with all the flowers and stuff but he's glad they haven't.

He doesn't know how long it took for him to barf up all the flowers but it was definitely long enough for Kinich to run back to the cafeteria and buy a bottle of water from the vending machine.

Lyney practically downed the water, his throat screaming as the warm water washed down the pain. It still hurt, but it was better than before. He looked disheveled. His hair was a mess, there was dried blood running down his lips, and his makeup was ruined.

"Ugh... my makeup bag's in my locker..." he groaned, sliding down the wall. He clutched the empty bottle and practically crushed the plastic. Kinich rubbed his back. "You should go. You'll be late to class if you stay any longer," Lyney mumbled. Thank Archons he didn't have afternoon lectures on Mondays.

"Nah, I don't have afternoon lectures. What stage is your hanahaki in?"

"Stage two."

"Yikes."

"No need to rub it in!" Lyney pouted. "Do you still need to catch your breath? I'll get your makeup bag for you," Kinich offered. "...Locker 168, down the right side of the hall adjacent to the library. I have some medicine there too. Code is 133,"

He didn't like ordering people around, but he was still winded and it still hurt to breathe. He also didn't feel like going to the nurse's office right now. "Alright. You stay right here, I'll be back."

...

Alone with his thoughts again.

That was the second worst flair up he's had thus far. Well, obviously the worst was the one that landed him in the hospital. Worst of all, the one person he hoped to never see him in his weakest witnessed it.

"Why am I like this?" he thought.

He was a coward and he knew it. He was too afraid to admit his feelings, too afraid to lose loving he chose to reject the operation that could've saved his life and ended this mess. He shouldn't have listened to Kinich that day at the bridge. He should've just jumped the second Kinich turned around, then none of this would have happened.

Chapter Text

2-13-25

Big day tomorrow. We had our dress rehearsal today. The fashion students really outdid themselves this year.

I hope my hanahaki doesn't mess this up.

Chapter Text

February 14

Teyvat University-Main Campus, Theatre Room, Sumeru Building, Celestia Street, Teyvat

5:30 PM

Today was play day. Everyone scrambled to get everything assembled. The stage crew checked the lights and props, and the sound crew did some last-minute check-ups.

Lyney was putting on the finishing touches of his makeup backstage. "Do I look alright, mon ami?" he asked, turning to his friend. Kinich walked over and straightened the rose pin on his chest and the brooch on his tie. "Your eyeliner is a little uneven. May I...?"

"I didn't know you could do makeup!"

"Well, when you hang out with Mualani a lot..."

Kinich lifted Lyney's chin and began to work on the eyeliner. "There," he said, putting the makeup down. Lyney turned around. "Thanks, mon ami!"

"What about me? Do I look weird or...?"

"You look dashing, mon cher! A true romantic if you ask me~!" Lyney cooed, snapping his fingers. Kinich looked away, tugging at the collar of his suit. "Hm, but your tie is a little loose. Let me just..."

"The show hasn't started yet, and you're already in character. I'm starting to understand why Capulet doesn't like Romeo," Xiao commented, leaning coolly against the doorframe. "We're on in 30 minutes," he reminded, leaving as swiftly as he appeared. Lyney realized that he still had his hands on Kinich's tie. He quickly let go before clearing his throat. "W-well, mon ami! Let's do some practice while we wait, shall we?"

It came time for the duel between Romeo and Paris. Lyney tried his hardest to contain the blooming cough in his throat so as not to ruin the illusion of Julio's "death".  'Remember what we practiced, Lyney, remember what we practiced,' he thought to himself.

He hears the actors exchange lines, and soon enough, the scene of Romeo's suicide arrives.

"Thy drugs are quick," Lyney hears Kinich say, "Thus with a kiss, I die."

However, just as Kinich laid down and pretended to die, Lyney coughed. There was a pause, and everyone was wide-eyed. 

Damn it. The illusion was ruined. The show's doomed! He completely flunked the show! He completely ruined Venti's final play!

Suddenly, an idea popped into Kinich's mind. He reached up to cup Lyney's face, his eyes telling to follow his lead. Lyney realized his plan and began to act:

"What's here? A cup closed in my true love's hand?"

"Poison, my dear."

"O churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop. To help me after! I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them," he leaned down to perform a stage kiss.

Despite all that practice, their lips touched briefly.

The impromptu scene earned gasps from the audience. A mix of "oh my"s and "wait what"s could be heard from the crowd as everyone leaned in, suddenly invested.

However, this little improv scene significantly changed. For starters, they did the double suicide scene far too early. Friar Lawrence (played by Dahlia) hadn't even showed up yet.

But still, they made it work.

The curtains closed, and entered Friar Lawrence and Balthsar.

The rest of the play continued without a hitch, although the actors had to improvise after that little genius move initiated by their two leads. Once it came to a close, it received a standing ovation from the crowd. Venti was given a massive bouquet as he bowed to the crowd.

Lyney could see doctor Thoma seated next to Father. Arlecchino was applauding while Doctor Thoma was wiping a couple tears, earning a nudge from the former.

Backstage, Venti pulled the main actors into a tight hug. "Oh man, that improv! Romeo witnessing Juliet- ah- Julio come back to life? I never would've thought of that! And oh, that chemistry you two had was out of this world! And- and- not to mention how effortlessly you got into the zone?! Oh man, you guys... I can't even begin to describe how proud I am! You guys did amazing! You really saved the show!"

In his excitement, Venti planted several kisses on their cheeks before running to his boyfriend. 

Lyney rubbed the back of his head. Ajaw punched Kinich's sides. "Ow," he complained, retaliating with a smack. "Didn't know you had it in you to improvise such a romantic scene," Ajaw commented, a light smirk on his face.

"Ugh... remind me never to act again," Kinich groaned. "He's got a point, mon ami! I really thought I flunked the show," Lyney patted his back. "Hey, maybe I should ask prof. Tsaritsa to move you to our department."

"Do not."

"Lyney, congratulations!"

Kinich and Lyney turned to see Arlecchino and Thoma headed to their direction. "I guess I should leave you guys be," Kinich said, waving Lyney goodbye. "Oh, by the way, Venti said the crew'll have a celebration dinner at Xinyue Kiosk this Friday. See you there?" Lyney said. "You bet!"

Arlecchino placed a hand on Lyney's shoulder. "Well done, Lyney. As expected of you," she smiled. "I recorded the entire performance for Lynette and Freminet to watch! You did amazing!" Thoma beamed. Lyney blushed slightly. "I might send this to Dr. Bai~" he teased. "Wha- Doc!"

"Oh, by the way Lyney, I'll have a specialist join our next session. Her name is Yumemizuki Mizuki."

Chapter Text

3-13-XXXX

February was crazy. We had our show, and I'd say it was a big success. Although, I still can't get the fact that our lips touched out of my head. I never bring it up. Don't wanna make things awkward.

On the 21st, we had a dinner at Xinyue Kiosk. Furina sponsored the dinner. Kinich seemed a little uncomfortable with all the attention he was getting, so he had to leave early before he got overwhelmed. Problem was that I was his ride home so he didn't say anything. I only noticed when he started being more avoidant than usual and trying to control his breathing.

On the 25th, my voice started getting scratchier. I raised that to dr. Baizhu, he said my hanahaki was getting worse. He asked me if I did anything, so I told him about the accidental kiss. Fortunately, it didn't have any dire consequences. Just a momentary speed-up of the development process. Haha, no big deal.

Last week, dr. Thoma invited a psychologist from Inazuma named Dr. Yumemizuki Mizuki. I can see why she's highly sought after. The moment I stepped into the office, she deduced that I'd been working non-stop for weeks.

Since hanahaki tends to increase emotional responses, she'll be accompanying dr. Thoma during my sessions. I don't know how that works, I don't even think standars procedures have that, so I assume Father has something to do with it.

Anyway, the Tabletop Troupe Club's active again. Navia's thesis defense was a success so we let her be DM last night, so it wasn't as chaotic as it usually was.

The annual school gala is coming up. Should I try my luck with asking Kinich?

Ok. Writing that made me cough up a rose. That's not very abracadabra. Smh

Chapter Text

3-14-XXXX

It's White Day. Lots of girls gave me chocolates on Valentine's so I ended up giving them some too.

Here's something interesting though. Kinich gave me something! I didn't even give him anything for Valentine'a day!

It was a crocheted keychain he made from scratch. He said he asked his friend Zephyr (his real name is Raiden Kabukimono, Zephyr is just the nickname his aunt gave him) for help with the basics.

It was in the shape of my face. MY FACE!

He said something about it being the "payment" of the puzzle piece keychain from the arcade, so he picked TODAY OF ALL DAYS to give it! I mean, I'm flattered but why!!!!!!

Chapter Text

3-16-XXXX

I'm losing my voice.

Chapter Text

3-17-XXXX

Woke up to my whole bed covered in roses and blood. Father took me to see Dr. Baizhu today. Had to ditch class again.

Chapter Text

3-17-XXXX

Kinich is here too. His room is like right next to mine. He's unconscious though, so I don't really know what happened.

Chapter Text

3-18-XXXX

There was a Code Blue in the room next to mine. I know I should be worried for my own health (and believe me, I am), but knowing who's in there scares me

Chapter Text

3-19-XXXX

Mualani dropped by. She said Kinich's condition was stable today and she told me all about the events that transpired.

They were at the beach on Monday. Kachina got caught in a rip current and couldn't get out. I guess you can kinda tell where this is going. Everyone panicked and he went diving right after her. Apparently the sudden spike of adrenaline was too much for his heart to handle and he ended up experiencing cardiac arrest when they made it to the beach.

At first, I thought he was reckless. Yeah, I know,  professor reckless calling someone else reckless? But then I imagined my siblings in that situation. It was probably so scary.

I decided to tell Mualani about my feelings. Her eyes widened and she told me something that was near impossible to believe. I mean, who'd love me? Especially not someone like Kinich. I don't know. Mualani isn't a liar, but she does spew white lies to make her friends feel better. Maybe she's just doing the same for me.

How could he ever like me back?

Chapter Text

3-22-XXXX

Dr. Baizhu said I shouldn't talk much so I won't strain my voice

Chapter Text

3-25-XXXX

He woke up yesterday and immediately went to my room. I couldn't talk. That's where I found out he was fluent in sign language, made my life way easier.

The doctors said that if I don't confess my feelings, I might not make it to the end of April. I don't mind, actually.

I might try though, but not now. He fell asleep next to me. I'll probably call a nurse to take him back to his room, but it feels nice having him linger around.

Chapter Text

3-26-XXXX

Apparently my heart stopped last night. What the heck heart?!

I told Father that she could write anything in here in case something happens to me.

3-27-XXXX

I am Lyney's father. He has given me permission to write this entry. He suffered cardiac arrest this afternoon and is currently in the emergency room. The doctors stated that he has two weeks left, unless his love was reciprocated.

The subject of his affection, a boy named Kinich Huitztlan Ahau I believe, has been incredibly worried. I know not whether the boy loves my son as well, but I do know that they are great friends.

I wish for both of their speedy recoveries.

3-28-XXXX

Once again, his father writing. Lyney woke up. Quite the resilient lad.

He and his siblings talked a lot today. Lynette skipped class just to spend the day with her twin. I have spoken with the principal of Nabu Malikata's, and she had allowed me to excuse Lynette from all activities. As for Freminet, TeyvU IS was a lot more flexible and let him go easily.

They communicated through sign language, not wanting to strain his voice. Truth be told, it eases me as a parent to see my children lean on each other for support.

3-29-XXXX

Crying why was Father so sentimental yesterday?

Chapter Text

3-30-XXXX

Everything hurts and I can't even cry about it because

1. No voice

2. It'll hurt even more and;

3. Kinich is here and I don't wanna look like a flop

Chapter Text

3-31-XXXX

They gave me an oxygen mask 'cause my lungs could barely take in any more air. I genuinely think this is the end of the line. Maybe I should shoot my shot?

Chapter Text

Lyney stared at the ceiling.

"Your heart rate's abnormal again," the doctor mutters. "...Doctor Baizhu?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Can you... can you call Kinich?"

Wordlessly, he nodded and headed to the next room. He's dying. He may as well shoot his last shot.

A boy with raven hair sat idly on his bed. Like Lyney, he was attached to several medical equipment. Unlike Lyney, however, he was stable enough to move around and would likely be discharged somewhere around Monday next week.

He was reading a book, a romance light novel madam Citlali recommended to Ororon, who in turn recommended it to him (for some reason). Truth be told, he was rather invested.

It was a story about a girl navigating life with hanahaki after the death of her boyfriend. It was bittersweet and had enough spikes of drama to be entertaining. Just as the drama was starting to get juicy, he was interrupted by a knock on his door. Was it time for the nurses to do their evaluation already?

He put his book down and greeted Dr. Baizhu, who entered the room. "Good morning, doctor."

"Yes, yes, good morning to you too. Hey, Kinich, darling. Lyney was asking if you could go to his room. He'd like to see you today."

A feeling of dread bubbled up inside his chest. In the light novel, this was exactly the moment the main character watched her boyfriend die!

"Wait- no, stop thinking about the light novel, fuckwad!" he thought to himself, furrowing his brows. "Of course, doc," he replied. Baizhu went ahead and assisted him out of the bed.

Lyney was... a mess, to say the least. "Hey," Kinich greeted. The mood felt solemn, almost as if people were already mourning Lyney.

The magician greeted back, shakily signing a "hey" back.  "What's up?" Kinich asked, pulling a chair and sitting next to his best friend. Lyney struggled to sign. "Don't force yourself. Do you know morse code?"

Lyney nodded. Kinich handed over his book. "Use this," he said. Lyney would've snickered, teased him for reading such a cheesy romance. Instead he began tapping on the cover.

"I have something I want to say"

Kinich tilted his head. "Well, spit it out," he urged. Lyney began to remove the oxygen mask. "Woah, hey, not like that-"

Lyney put his hand up when Kinich tried to stop him from removing it. "Mon ami, I'm-" he coughed, "I have... a lot to say."

The heart monitor began to beep like crazy. "Should I call a doctor?" he asked, wincing as he tried to get up. "No, mon ami, this'll be between us."

Lyney's eyes begged Kinich to sit back down, to hear him. Reluctantly, he did. He sat down and said nothing else, waiting for Lyney to speak again.

The magician began to cough up even more flowers; flowers that had been practically glued together by blood. Kinich could only watch, helping him dump the flowers into the nearby trash bin.

"Mon ami, the one I love..."

Lyney gripped Kinich's hand. Perhaps dying like this wouldn't be so bad.

"...is you. It's always been you."

And then his eyes closed.

Chapter Text

...

...

...

.

Lyney's eyes fluttered open when he felt lips on his. It took a moment to register in his mind.

Kinich was kissing him.

It was desperate, like the fake kiss they shared during the play. Kinich's grip on his cheek was firm yet gentle, his other hand holding Lyney's like a lifeline. Lyney held the hand that was tenderly touching his cheek, grazing where the IV was stuck into his skin.

Only now did Lyney truly realize how scarred and thick Kinich's skin was. Only now did Lyney realize how small his own hands were in comparison.

Kinich tasted like medicine and the scent of the hospital was strong, but Lyney didn't mind. For once, the hospital didn't smell so dreadful, and medicine didn't taste like ass.

Lyney, on the other hand, tasted like a mix of blood and bulle fruit. The scent of iron was overpowered by the smell of the rainbow roses he'd spat out earlier. Some of the petals ended up staining Kinich's clothes and book, but he didn't care. He only focused on making sure that damn disease knew that he loved Lyney.

Lyney could almost cry with how relieved his lungs suddenly felt; with how his throat didn't feel like razor blades were constantly running it up and down.

The monitor slowed down as Lyney relaxed, sinking into the warmth of the man he loves. The doctors who were attending him came to a running halt at his door, looking at the scene. "He... did it!" one of them gasped. "Shush!" the other snapped, letting the two have their moment.

They broke the kiss to catch their breaths. Their gazes lingered on each other, a sea of purple clashing with a fiery canopy of green and yellow. For a moment, it was just the two of them. For a moment, they weren't patients in a hospital, they were just Lyney and Kinich.

Tears welled up in Lyney's eyes. It felt so good, so, so good. It felt so good to breathe again, to cry freely without straining himself, to feel comfortable again. He buried his face into the other boy's chest and sobbed. He cried out "thank you"s and "I love you"s over and over again.

Their story was tragic, both doomed to die. Lyney was more than ready to go first, but Kinich wouldn't let him, and he's glad he didn't.

Chapter Text

4-3-XXXX

I'M FREE FROM THE TRENCHES

Ya boy finally managed to grow a pair and confess. Are you proud of me, Monsieur Diary?

Not only am I hanahaki-free now, I was able to bag an absolute SPECIMEN of a man AND he saved my life by kissing me. I deserve a seat in the Alberich Princess roster at this point.

I can breathe normally again. There's some plant debris leftover but it's a simple surgical procedure they can do now that the vines and roots tangled in my lungs are gone. I still can't speak though, so I probably won't be participating in many shows.

Chapter Text

4-4-XXXX

Debris removal surgery tomorrow. It'll be quick, they said. Kinich suffered cardiac arrest last night tho so yeah. Curse you, fate

Chapter Text

4-4-XXXX

False alarm, he's alive

Side note: Venti dropped by and dropped a shit load of tea from school but Father has access to this so I won't write it down. Just know that it involves the guidance counselor and P.E. teacher, and maybe a BlackPink song iykyk.

Chapter Text

4-5-XXXX

Lyney's father again. He just got out of the surgery to remove the plant debris from his lungs. As of writing, he's currently high on anesthesia and is crying as he is convinced his boyfriend is dead, no matter how many times I tell him that he is very much alive.

Scratch that, he's now ranting about how unfair it is that snakes can fly but chickens can't.

Chapter Text

4-6-XXXX

Father is completely unreasonable it IS completely unfair that chickens can't fly but the hell worm can?!

Anyway they got the leftover flowers out. Lynette and Freminet dropped by and wouldn't stop crying haha.

I never thought I'd say this, but it feels great to be alive

Chapter Text

4-7-XXXX

My prof called me and told me that I don't need to do the catch-up activities anymore because the play was a success👅👅👅

Chapter Text

4-8-XXXX

He's awake! He's alive! Not stable, but awake! Life is good! Life is great! Mualani and I are gonna go bother him in two hours time

Chapter Text

4-9-XXXX

I'll be discharged tomorrow I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEE

Chapter Text

April 9

Bubu Hospital, Room 103

10:30 AM

Lyney carefully opened the door. Kinich was nose deep in that light novel, fingers tapping impatiently on the cover. He was muttering something about the MC being dumb when he put the book down. "Morning," he greeted as Lyney sat down on the chair next to the bed.

Kinich frowned. Lyney looked troubled.

The magician overheard a couple doctors talking with Mavuika, Ajaw, and Thrain the night Kinich's heart stopped again. It's been happening more frequently. At this point, the only thing that could even have a chance to save him would be a heart transplant, but there were no willing donors, nor were there any matches nearby. If they don't find a donor soon, he won't make it to the end of the year. The conversation was brought up again after he and Mualani left his room yesterday.

He pulled the boy into a hug, his ear resting on his chest. He listened to the rhytmic beating of his heart. Sure, the monitor was there, but he wanted to hear it for himself. Kinich didn't say anything, just moved to run his fingers through Lyney's hair.

"What's wrong?" he finally spoke.

Truth be told, another thing occupied the magician's mind. The kiss from the other day. What if it was just a spur of the moment thing? What if they weren't actually "boyfriends" and that he was just doing it to make sure Lyney's hanahaki won't come back?

"Kinich... what are we?" Lyney asked, leaning further into his chest. "What do you want us to be?"

Lyney thought for a moment. He looked around the room and found Kinich's bag, the puzzle keychain from the arcade still hanging on it. The jacket he gifted him during their party was draped over a chair, clearly taken care of. He thought about his hanahaki, how he felt during those few agonizing months of flowers constantly terrorizing his lungs, and how the very boy holding him tenderly and gently saved him not that long ago.

"I want to love you, forever and ever. I want... I want to call you mine, and I want you to call me yours," Lyney whispered. No other words were exchanged, they didn't need them. The kiss Kinich planted on Lyney's head, how he tightened his grip around the magician — that was enough for him to know his desires were mutual. They stayed like that for a while, holding onto each other, tuning out the sound and scent of the hospital in favor of focusing on each other.

Lyney would give anything to stay like this forever.

Chapter Text

4-10-XXXX

I'm so dumb "what are we" BITCH OF COURSE HE'S MY BOYFRIEND WHY DID I ASK THAT

Chapter Text

4-11-XXXX

I went to get our (me, Furina, and Yun Jin) thesis bound for our final project but then the shop got hit by a power outage and now I gotta wait an additional 3 days before I can get it man!

Chapter Text

4-12-XXXX

Went on call with the Ski Gang today. We binged sad movies and shows. Mualani wanted to watch Ride Your Wave, Chlorinde and I both wanted to watch I Want To Eat Your Pancreas, Ajaw (didn't even know he liked watching sad shows) wanted to watch Frieren, while Albedo and Kinich wanted to binge the entirety of I Belonged To Your World.

We decided to call the Film Expert (aka Furina de Fontaine). Mualani won. I personally think it's biased since Furina also has a thing for water.

Chlorinde and Albedo were cuddled up with their partners (Navia and Xiao. I knew about Chlorinde and Navia but Xiao and Albedo was completely new). Ajaw tried to turn their cameras off multiple times, so Kinich removed him as admin for the time being because they were screensharing.

After the movie we just started talking about college stuff (except for Navia since she had to leave by that time). Albedo got a scholarship from a prestigious medical academy for the next school year so he's in the process of finalizing his papers. That's also why Xiao's been crashing by his place a lot more to spend time before they have to go LDR.

Chlorinde and Xiao are still gonna maintain their criminology studies.

Ajaw still doesn't know what to do and he's kinda bummed (he tries not to show it. I mean, he would've been in his 2nd year by now). I heard from Chasca that some people have been trying to get him to enter a zoo related field due to his unique connections to saurians.

Mualani's still keeping up with BSE. Interestingly, Kinich mentioned that he wants to shift his course to economics next year. He wants to pursue BSBA. Kind of a drastic shift from sports, but his track record shows that he's good with managing businesses and numbers so it'll probably be a walk in the park. Besides, it's only his second year so it's not much of a waste.

As for me, I'm not sure if I'll be able to survive the world of entertainment without my voice. The thorns really messed up my vocal chords. Father wants me to inherit the family business, but I want to make performing my full-time job. I'll still continue performing arts. As a performer, it's my job to adapt to whatever environment. Even health concerns.

Anyway back to the movie:

I can see why Mualani recommended it. It's the perfect movie for people who wanna cry during the summer. Even Albedo gasped at some points of the movie. The message at the end broke me tho. Messed up my mascara.

We're having another movie night next Friday and Saturday. On Friday, we watch IWTEYP, on Saturday, we watch Frieren. We might invite Furina and Lynette to complete the Tabletop Troupe but the final say goes to Mualani since she plans our stuff.

Chapter Text

4-13-XXXX

Mualani just called me and said Kinich is getting surgery for his pancreas and he wants me to be there before he goes in

Chapter Text

4-14-XXXX

He might not make it to the end of the year. That was the doctor's final verdict after the surgery. I'm with him right now. I've never seen him cry, nor have his friends. It feels kind of weird to see tears rolling down his face. He cries quietly, and he's just been hugging his pillow and folding the pages of his notebook (he's trying to distract himself by studying, but it's clearly not working). He hasn't moved an inch nor made a sound. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that he's breathing heavily, I would've thought he died.

I know wallowing in self-pity wasn't the best for the mind. Dr. Thoma and Dr. Mizuki keep telling me not to let bad thoughts consume me, but I can't help it. Here he was, the love of my life, desperate to live despite suffering. While I'm here, healthy (sorta), financially stable, surrounded by friends and family. And yet I'm the one trying to die?

I wish I could comfort him, but my throat's killing me. He saved me twice, yet I can't even repay him with words?

Chapter Text

April 15

Bubu Hospital, Room 103

"You asshole!"

Lyney paused, alarmed. "That scream came from Kinich's room. Was there a fight going on?" he thought as he quickened his pace. When he opened the door, what greeted him was quite a comical sight 

Xiao was fuming, shaking Kinich by the collar of his pyjamas. The IV bag rattled with the sheer force of the shaking.

"You can't die on me yet! We still haven't defended that paper!" he threatened. "Calm your tits, fuckwad! That paper isn't even for school, we go to completely different departments! You'll still get the prize money with or without me," Kinich clapped back, gripping Xiao's wrists. "Well, genius, we spent a total of 10 fucking months on that paper! I forbid you from dying before we get that thing defended and published! It's not even about the prize money anymore I just want this project over with!"

Lyney stood at the doorway, fidgeting with the bouquet of flowers. The two were too busy trying to skin each other to notice him standing there, mouth slightly opened with a rather concerned expression. He knocked on the open door rather loudly and the two stopped. 

They quickly let go of each other and awkwardly sat down. "Whatever you saw just now is a normal occurance," Xiao clarified. Kinich nodded in agreement. Shaking his head, Lyney took a seat and placed a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Xiao whistled. "I may have missed a chapter," he took out his water bottle and took as sip, pretending it was tea.

Lyney tried to speak, but his voice has been more hoarse lately. "Don't worry, he understands morse code and sign language," Kinich waved his hand at Xiao.

Lyney sighed in relief and tapped the side of the chair.

'What was that about?'

Xiao shrugged. "Nothing. Just a research paper from an outsider organization."

'What's it about?'

"Nothing special. Just a correlational study," Kinich said. "We just wanted to see if there's a relationship between the likeliness to turn to a life of crime and economic standing. Likewise, we also wanted to see if academic standing also had a play in it," Xiao explained. "It's for a presentation competition. Best proposal, paper, and presentation get cash money and discounts to any piece of sports equipment branded by Northland," Kinich added.

"We joined for the thrill of it, but we ended up getting too invested in the study," Xiao concluded. "The defense will be a nationwide broadcast on the 27th of May, so if you're curious about the results, just watch us. That is, assuming somebody doesn't decide to ditch me last minute," he glares.

"Can you stop alluding towards my death, it's creepy as hell."

"Tell that your friend and his cryptic Adventurer's Handbook posts. Seriously, Ajaw's got some major screws loose! Everyone in the sports club thought you really kicked the bucket!"

Lyney watched the two bicker. Those two were the most reserved and quiet individuals at school, one would never expect them to act like this in private.

The two talked about their study, with occassional questions from Lyney. In a way, they treated it as somewhat of a mock defense. They say "somewhat" because a panelist being cuddled by a researcher isn't exactly formal. While the entire thing was happening, Kinich's hand absentmindedly ran through Lyney's hair, occassionally dropping down and gripping his hand. Small gestures that spoke millions.

Eventually, Xiao had to leave. Lyney also had to exit the room since the doctors were going to do an evaluation, giving Mavuika the chance to take him to the side.

"Hey, Lyney, right?" she called. "Oh, Lady Mavuika. What do you need?"

"No need for the formalities, kid. I'm just... worried about him. Can I... ask you for a favor?" she lowered her head. "He's known that he won't make it past 25 since forever, so he made a bucket list. I was hoping if you'd help him accomplish most of it before he... well. Only if it's fine with you–"

"I'll do it," Lyney replied in a heartbeat. "He saved me twice. Screw that, thrice. I wouldn't even be alive right now. It's only fair that I let him feel alive," he says, a melancholic look on his face. Mavuika looked relieved. "Thank you, thank you so much," she bowed.

Chapter Text

4-16-XXXX

Finals tomorrow, although I'm kind of late due to the whole confined to the hospital thing. Here's my problem. It's a practical exam where we have to recite lines from Macbeth. Bad omen aside, my voice still sucks (trust me, I already drank a shit ton of honey tea). I talked about it to my professor. She said she'll consider sign language, but it'll depend completely on my body language.

I'm still thinking about what Lady Mavuika said. I should've expected that he'd have a bucket list. I talked to him about it and he seemed kinda bashful. He did agree to the idea. Now I'm curious as to what was written on it that made his ears go pink.

Chapter Text

4-17-XXXX

I normally don't cry over acads, but I totally flunked that practicum. I hate not being able to speak. This is my own doing, the consequences of my own hesitation. I'm being more emotional lately. Dr. Baizhu concluded that it's just the residual effect of the hanahaki. Dr. Thoma doubled my prescription again. He's in mainland Natlan right now, enjoying his honeymoon so Dr. Mizuki will be taking over our sessions for the time being.

I took a peek at Kinich's bucket list (it was a literal list). Several entries were scribbled out. Wonder what those were. Tragically, one of the scribbled out ones was "graduate".

He's getting out of the hospital in a few days, probably Monday.

Chapter Text

4-18-XXXX

Can't Monday come faster I already miss him

Chapter Text

4-19-XXXX

So Chlorinde decided to not watch I Want to Eat Your Pancreas since Kinich just got out of surgery but since it was technically mine and her turn to pick the sad binge, we picked Hikari: be my light. We watched until the first episode of the next arc (the start of the timeloop). That turned the discussion into Link Click and Furina ended up yapping about it for hours.

Chapter Text

4-20-XXXX

Funny number day. Anyway, he'll be discharged tomorrow! Since acads are basically over (he doesn't need to take make-up activities since he did them while in the hospital, cheeky fella), we'll start the bucket list tomorrow. A little hasty? Maybe, but the first thing on his bucket list was "baking with my crush", and Aether just gave me an absolutely bomb recipe.

Chapter Text

April 21

Municipality of Natlan, "Scions of the Canopy", Turnfire Street, Teyvat

10:30 AM

Ajaw narrowed his eyes at his... friend. He recently got out of the hospital and is planning on spending the summer with his new boyfriend, finishing his bucket list. Or, well, what he's allowed to accomplish at least.

So it confused him a lot to see Kinich scribble out a lot of entries. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Nunya."

"Who the hell is 'Nunya'?!"

"Nunya business."

Ajaw had to physically restrain himself from slapping Kinich. He snatched the list, ignoring the boy's protests. He furrowed his brows.

First, he scribbled off "graduate", now he's removed "get married", "start a business", "have a family".

It's a tradition within the tribe to make bucket lists, y'know. Stuff to do before you die. Ajaw, as an honorary member (much to his dismay), made one of his own. He'd taken a peak at some others, all of them would render one insane to an outsider. Some tribespeople had "bungee jump into a volcano's crater", others had "jet ski on liquid phlogiston", some wrote "hike up the summit of Dragonspine and glide my way down". Those were only the mild ones. Ajaw himself wrote "get rich and start a cult" (the cult was partially a joke).

But Kinich? He wrote down insanely mundane things. Simple stuff such as "get a master's degree", and "buy my own property". At first, he mocked him for it. Then, he realized why those were in his bucket list.

There aren't exactly rules to follow in a bucket list, after all those are just things a person wants to do before dying. But any normal person would consider his entries as everyday things humans experience all the time, not exactly "bucket list worthy". But to someone who wasn't sure if he'd wake up the next day, those were bucket list worthy.

It's kind of odd. People take these things for granted, but fail to realize that someone somewhere might not even have the chance to experience all of these.

"These are all fundamental milestones, moron. Why're you removing them?! Don't tell me you're giving up now! Look, you even removed all the extreme sports you want to try!"

"Avoid stuff that'll cause my adrenaline to spike. Doctor's orders," Kinich argued. "You're missing the point! You're seriously skipping out on things you used to love to do?!"

Kinich brought his knees to his chest. Despite being stable, despite having already left the hospital, he was still attached to an IV. "It's not that I'm stopping all the things I want to do, it's just..." he paused. "Would I even be alive to do all of that?"

Ajaw stared. Suddenly, the paper in his hand felt a lot more heavy. "You will be. Mavuika isn't giving up on finding that donor. You seriously can't give up too," he spat. Fucking hell, he can't believe it.

At first, he really wanted Kinich dead. I mean, he was everything Ajaw wasn't. He was sure of his dreams, he had a clear outline of what he wanted for the future. Ajaw doesn't, so Mavuika decided that it'd be a good idea for him to be the boy's caretaker. Over the years, he felt himself soften. Not that he'll admit it, nor will he find himself liking it.

"Why are you so concerned anyway?" Kinich broke the silence, picking up the paper. "What? Can't I show concern for my best– uh..."

A smirk crept its way up Kinich's face. "Your what? C'mon, spit it out. I'm your what?" he nudged. "Argh! Archons, you're annoying! I didn't say anything of the sort!"

"Nuh uh, I heard you say it. Just admit it. I know you love me," he extended the "e" sound a little too much, simply to annoy Ajaw.

"Shut up! You can shrivel up and die for all I care! You're the worst!"

"Mhm, now there's the Ajaw I remember. I'm headed over to Lyney's."

Ajaw slammed his room shut. Jeez, that guy was a living migraine.

It's true what he said though. Mavuika's still searching for a donor. Truth be told, Ajaw found out only a couple years ago that he was a perfect match for Kinich as a donor. He would've signed those papers, but he didn't pass the health examination, so he couldn't qualify as a donor even if he wanted to.

Not that he did.

Still, the bucket list lingered on his mind. Seriously, who writes "try to find my mom"?!

Chapter Text

4-22-XXXX

We cooked a lot of food yesterday. Dr. Mizuki has been inching me towards overcoming my ED lately, so I ate a little more than what I normally do– but not too much that I'd feel the need to barf it out. Father noticed and gave a small nod of approval. It's not that big of a change, but I guess it counts as a step in the right direction.

Kinich ended up spending the night. Just so you know, his hugs are to die for. We ended up cuddling all afternoon. We're on VC with the Ski Gang as of writing and we binged I Belong to Your World (much to his and Albedo's delight).

Chapter Text

4-23-XXXX

Went to therapy again today. I told dr. Mizuki about the slight improvement in my eating habits (said improvement being eating a little more without barfing it back out, but I'll take what I can). She seemed pleased, so that's a positive.

I don't have any shows for the summer. Dr. Baizhu said it's for the best since my throat's still recovering. As far as the evaluations go, the damage isn't too severe. That is, if having a permanent rasp counts as "not severe". It's going to make mine and Lynette's switcharoo acts all the more difficult the pull off in the future, but it is what it is.

Father said she's letting me stay at Kinich's house next week (she'll be leaving for a business trip, and it's summer so she's being more flexible with us). I asked him for his thoughts and he said it's fine as long as Mavuika is made aware in advance.

Unrelated news, but I heard from Ajaw that she and Thrain formally adopted Kinich yesterday (despite him being 24 and a working adult, but then again Father has some adults under her care, I can't judge). No wonder he was happier than usual.

Chapter Text

4-24-XXXX

We had a little heart to heart about ourselves. The usual stuff – boundaries, personal desires, love languages, all that jazz. He says he'd like to get married if he survives, but he asked me if I wanted it too.

Of course I do. More than anything. I didn't get permanent damage to my throat and almost die to hanahaki just to not want a future with him.

Chapter Text

4-25-XXXX

I went to gymnastics again today. It feels nice to finally stretch around after being cooped up in the hospital for so long. Coincidentally, I saw Kinich at the gym. He was running a few miles on the treadmill with Wriothesley. Honestly, I didn't even know they knew each other. He didn't stay long, just ran enough to get some sweat out before the two of them left. Well, he did notice me staring before he left.

He waved and smiled, and Wriothesley wolf whistled before getting elbowed in the stomach.

Chapter Text

4-26-XXXX

Went for a walk around town while getting groceries today and I found myself on Sta. Focalors Bridge again. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went there earlier, or if Kinich came just a little later, or if I didn't go get coffee with him, or if I decided not to jump at all.

To think that something as simple as a last minute decision would've led me to either winding up dead or not meeting Kinich at all. To think that if there was even a second that had been altered, everything that happened up until this point never would've been possible.

But you know what, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean, one thing led to another, and now I'm with a man who I'd genuinely consider someone I see myself having a family with. Someone who saw me at my lowest and chose to stay. Maybe this is what "fate" is?

I'll be staying over at Kinich's place starting tomorrow.

Chapter Text

4-27-XXXX

His room is full of stuff. Other than medications and medical equipment, he has an entire shelf full of trophies (puts mine to shame, if we're being honest) and his gear. On one corner, there was a synthesizer, a piano, and an organ? I don't know how they managed to get that in there but it's there. There's also his desk which has his books and PC.

I've been to his house before, don't get me wrong, but never in his room. It's slightly smaller than mine, but good grief a whole organ.

Now, the unexpected thing was that his bed was full of plushies. I asked him about it and he got flustered. Apparently, he won most of those from the arcade and others were gifts.

We talked about where I'd sleep and he said he cleaned up a guest room for me. He looked kind of disappointed, but it's hard to read his expressions since that fuckass bandana hides likes half of his face. 

Currently listening to him play some tunes on the piano. I should've brought my violin along.

Chapter Text

4-28-XXXX

Apparently he streams video games. We were playing R.E.P.O. with a few friends. He's insanely quiet and is usually the last one alive. Aether always screams at the top of his lungs whenever a monster is nearby and he happens to be hiding with either me or Kinich (that bitch...).

One of the things on his bucket list was "introduce a partner to chat" (although it had 'joke' in parenthesis but now I don't think it is a joke). He introduced me and he called me "mi vida" in front of thousands of people🫣. They then proceeded to throw fruit at his avatar.

He sets donation goals. He says he splits his earnings into medical expenses, college stuff, personal spending, and a charity that funds cancer research. He surpassed his donation goal for that day right after he introduced me and one of the messages was "If you don't use this money to buy him a ring I'm gonna find you". The username felt familiar, so I assume that it was Lumine.

They demanded an on-camera kiss and he ended stream right after chat started flooding him with "KISS HIM" messages. I don't really know how to feel about kissing in front if like 500,000 people so it was probably for the best🤷‍♂️

Chapter Text

4-29-XXXX

He's being a lot more touchy and affectionate lately and I like it. He's like a cat :]

Chapter Text

April 30

Municipality of Natlan, "Scions of the Canopy", Turnfire Street, Teyvat

8:30 PM

Lyney was cuddled up on top of Kinich in his room. The the door was locked, which normally isn't in case of emergencies. Mavuika let him this time since Lyney was with him.

One hand was occupied with tangling itself in Lyney's hair, the other holding his phone. The physical copy of his light novel was completely drenched in blood the last time Lyney coughed up flowers and was rendered unreadable, so Kinich decided to just finish reading the web version.

"Sorry about your book," Lyney mumbled. "It's fine, you couldn't control it," Kinich planted a kiss on Lyney's hair.

But...

Lyney wanted more. He wasn't satisfied, and Kinich seemed to sense that. He gave Lyney another kiss, this time adjusting their position so he could kiss his nose. "What's wrong? Do you need anything?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

Lyney, with great effort, whispered one word. One word that made Kinich redder than Mavuika's hair.

"You."

Wordlessly, he put his phone down. He lifted Lyney's chin and kissed him on the lips. When they parted, the look in Lyney's eyes said he wanted, no, needed more. So, he pulled him into another kiss. But it wasn't brief, there was tension, almost desperation. Lyney's tongue found itself inside the other's mouth. Kinich shuddered at the sensation, but he let it happen.

Both of them weren't satisfied. Both of them wanted more.

Lyney unzipped the front of his lover's shirt as he pulled away from the kiss, eyes asking for silent permission. When Kinich nodded, Lyney dove right in, biting and kissing the exposed parts of his neck and shoulders.

Kinich muttered his name, a slight rasp in his voice. Lyney felt an even stronger urge to eat him alive, but he took things slow. Yet, he kept going. Sliding Kinich's zipper lower and lower, until he found himself half-naked.

For once, Kinich enjoyed the touch. He didn't feel scared that he was exposed, that he was vulnerable. He was... comfortable. Lyney didn't push him for more than what he could offer, he occasionally looked at him with eyes asking if he was okay, if he was feeling uncomfortable.

The room grew hot as the tension and desperation grew, Lyney finding himself staring at the scars his love had hidden away. Scars on his torso, his shoulders, his wrists. Whether accidental or self-inflicted, he didn't pry. Those were his secrets, and Lyney had to accept that. His hand grazed his body, tracing over his tribal markings that signified his identity, his culture.

Kinich found himself aching for more. He grabbed Lyney's waist and lifted his shirt slowly. Higher, and higher it went until Lyney took it off, exposing his own scars. Like Lyney, Kinich didn't pry. Those were Lyney's battles – ones he didn't have to share if he wasn't ready.

Now, it was Kinich's turn to paint Lyney like a canvas. He left marks where he knew Lyney was comfortable, showing that he was there. All of this was real, no matter what he'd be by his side. He showered Lyney's body in as much love as his weakening body could give. He thought, if he died right then and there in Lyney's arms, he wouldn't have minded.

They had one common goal in mind, love the other. Smother the other in as much silent praise as they could.

They were locked in another kiss. Hot, needy, full of longing. A kiss full of promises, silent declarations of love. They broke away for a few seconds, gazing into each others' eyes. Then, they dove back into an equally passionate kiss, tongues dancing in a symphony of their breaths, an orchestra of 'I love you's going undeclared. For them, they didn't need to scream those three words at the top of their lungs. For them, a silent moment of intimacy, a shared glance, staring at the other under the moonlight... all of thos were declarations of a love that transcended death itself.

Once they were both satisfied they just... lay there. Torsos bare, skin touching skin. It was quiet, intimate. Just them. Only them.

Lyney pressed his ear onto Kinich's chest, listening to the soft thumping of his heart. A reminder that he was there, this was all real, and no matter what he's by his side.

Kinich certainly didn't expect "makeout with somebody" to be added to his bucket list. But he did, and he checked it immediately.

Chapter Text

5-1-XXXX

DID THAT SERIOUSLY JUST HAPPEN LAST NIGHT DAMN. HE WINKED AT ME DURING LUNCH. IT HAPPENED. DO NOT TALK TO ME.

Chapter Text

5-1-XXXX

HOW WILL I EXPLAIN THE HICKEYS TO FATHER‽ I'M COOKED. I mean I know I initiated BUT!

Chapter Text

5-2-XXXX

OH MY GOODNESS I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT LORD CAPITANO IS NOT ONLY KINICH'S ADOPTIVE FATHER BUT ALSO FATHER'S SENIOR. HE SAW THE HICKEYS ON BOTH OF US. I'M DEAD ACTUALLY. I'M ACTUALLY DEEP FRIED. CELESTIA TAKE ME NOW.

Chapter Text

5-3-XXXX

I overheard Lord Capitano and Father talking (😧). Something about Mavuika missing her home back in mainland Natlan and planning a trip. He was asking her if she'd like to come along. I don't know what she said, but he seemed satisfied with her answer.

Father'll pick me up tomorrow. She mentions a specialist Dr. Baizhu recommended to help me speak and I'll start sessions tomorrow.

Chapter Text

5-3-XXXX

Screw what I said about Father picking me up tomorrow. They had to rush Kinich to the hospital again :(

Mavuika offered to take me home and I agreed, but I wish I could've stayed by his side a little longer. Sadly, visitors weren't allowed at this hour :(

Chapter Text

May 4

Lobby, Bubu Hospital, Teyvat

3:30 AM

Mavuika shook her leg impatiently, the distant beeping in some of the rooms filling her ears. Some of those beeps could've been from her son for all she knows.

Only one family member was allowed during these hours, so she was alone. She sent Thrain home to take Lyney back to the Hotel Buffes'dete.

She remembers how Kinich looked unusually sluggish after dinner. He was complaining about wanting to throw up before leaving the table, but he chalked it up to being tired.

She shouldn't have taken it so lightly. She, of all people, knew how he liked to dismiss his problems as small issues. She should've known.

One second, her son was walking towards the bathroom. The next, he was clutching his chest and collapsed on the floor. She remembers vividly how panicked Lyney looked, how she commanded Thrain to start the car. There wasn't any time for them to call an ambulance. All she could do was perform CPR and hope for the best.

She leaned back against the chair and ran a hand through her hair. The doctor came out with a solemn expression.

"How is he?" Mavuika asked. The doctor sighed. "The good news is we managed to get his heart to beat again and his vitals are stable for the time being. The bad news is that the fatality of his illness rose significantly higher. Even with a donor heart."

Mavuika's breath hitched. So there really was nothing she could do?

"We're giving you three options, and I'm afraid you may not like the outcome of either. One is euthanasia, put his suffering to an end as soon as possible. The other is to prolong his life with hospice, but he'll likely be miserable cooped up in the hospital. Or, you could take him home as soon as he's stable enough and let nature take its course. He'll still be required to take regular assessments here, but we can't guaruntee his survival. Of course, the final verdict still lies with the patient."

The doctor was right. Mavuika didn't like any of those options.

Sensing her dismay, the doctor placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You must be tired and worried, Lady Mavuika. Why don't you get some rest? You can decide in the morning when he wakes up," he offered. Without much of a choice, she nodded.

"Hine, what should I do?"

Chapter Text

5-5-XXXX

He still hasn't woken up :(

Anyway, the screenings for my throat all show the same results. The specialist Father took me to gave me different types of meds to help soothe the pain from talking. Guess I'll have a slight rasp in my voice from here on out.

Chapter Text

5-6-XXXX

Father said we'll be joining Mavuika and the others on their trip to Natlan (the actual country) as soon as Kinich gets the all clear from the hospital.

He also woke up this morning. He's been sending me cute BTS GIFs all day hahaha

Chapter Text

5-7-XXXX

Can someone please tell Navia to stop using persuasion on everything she sees?

Also, Clorinde took the liberty of updating my characters lore because I can't speak much during sessions. Now I apparently have selective mutism.

Father told us that Lady Mavuika said the trip would likely be around the 17th, just to make sure everyone's health is in tip-top shape. Lord Capitano also arranged the cars. I could see that cheeky glimmer from behind his mask when he told me I'd be sitting next to Kinich.

Chapter Text

5-8-XXXX

Clorinde is legitimately a genius. The selective mutism she suggested for my character's profile ties in perfectly with his lore and adds more to the mysterious "travelling magician, son of a Marechaussee Hunter with an unclear agenda" gimmick.

Come to think of it, I never really talk about him here. Well, it's a personal diary and the only people reading the entries are Father and I, but what if one day somebody sees this?

I have a seperate notebook for his lore though. I call him "Fantasticat" but that's his alias. Truth be told, I have no idea what his real name should be. He's basically a travelling magician who happens to be the son of a retired Marechaussee Hunter who joined the party seemingly without an agenda, but trust me, he has one! It's in the lore notebook and I don't wanna rewrite the stuff.

Anyway, Navia tried to use persuasion AGAIN on a bridge troll to try and wiggle her way out of a riddle.

Chapter Text

5-9-XXXX

They took him home. We're playing paperface with the others right now (paperface targetted me first🤧).

I found out everyone's patterns.

Xiao always targets Kinich first. Something about revenge for falling into a coma mid-chapter 4 and making him analyze like 100 responses. Likewise, Kinich always targets Xiao first.

Lynette has no particular target but she always strikes in dark areas. Pretty smart move but it puts her at a disadvantage.

Clorinde doesn't kill until the last 50 seconds. She always wins, so as long as there wasn't a kill at all, it's likely her.

Furina seemed to have also observed everyone's patterns and mimics them. At some point, she tried to pin the blame on Xiao but then she realized that Xiao was already dead lol.

I have no pattern. I think?

Chapter Text

May 10

Deshret Plaza, Sumeru Avenue, Teyvat

12:30 PM

If there was one thing Lyney loved doing, it was performing for all the little kids in the park. Seeing their faces light up with curiosity and wonder reminded him of why he started performing tricks in the first place.

Before he could start with his next trick, his phone buzzed with a message from Father. He gestured an apology to the children and pointed at his phone.

"Awh, big brother is the show over?" one of them looked down. He nodded his head. "Don't worry!" he patted her head. "Come back tomorrow!"

The kids ran off and Lyney opened the message. Father was telling him to head to the hospital. His heart sank, but then she clarified that it was for him. Weird. Maybe the voice specialist decided to make their session earlier at the last minute?

Baizhu's Office, Bubu Hospital, Teyvat

1:00 PM

Lyney was in Baizhu's office, of all places. He fidgeted in his seat. "Good afternoon, Lyney. Love life going well?" the nurse Changsheng greeted. He laughed nervously. Dr. Baizhu entered and greeted. His foster daughter trailed behind him.

"Good afternoon, Lyney. Don't mind little Qiqi, the daycare is closed for today so I had to bring her along," he patted her head. "Hi again, Qiqi!" Lyney greeted her. She shyly waved before focusing on her notebook.

Arlecchino entered shortly after. Surprisingly, so did Lord Capitano.

"Lord Knave, Captain," Baizhu gestured to some seats. "I would like to say that this'll be very serious, especially to you, Lyney."

Surprised, he tilted his head. "Upon further reading, we discovered that hanahaki cured through reciprocated feelings tends to... return. Research suggests that the trigger for this is commonly the death of one's partner," Baizhu reads off of a report.

Ah. That's why the Captain was there.

"Yes. As much as I hate to admit it, my so- er, Kinich is dying," he mutters. Lyney memorized those lines. It was always the same thing every time, as if life wanted to rub it in his face.

And now it actually became his problem. He would've been fine. People die everyday. Kinich would've just been a fleeting chapter in Lyney's life, and he'd move on because that's how life works. It's like a book, but now it seems like Lyney's is about to end abruptly. Yes, he's tried to conclude his story, but it was in his own way. This? No. He refuses to become collateral damage.

"You still have the option to have the surgery when the inevitable happens," Dr. Baizhu says, snapping Lyney out of his thoughts. "But, the consequences remain the same. You'll never be able to feel love again."

"Or, if you'd allow us. This will sound heartless and selfish, but, would you be willing to donate your body for further research on hanahaki?"

Lyney paused and thought.

Never be able to love again. He thought back to the children at the plaza earlier, how their eyes lit up with joy and wonder at his tricks. If he lost the ability to love, then his magic would be nothing. His existence would mean nothing.

But...

But he doesn't want to die like that. If he were to die, he always hoped it'd be by his own hand or because of old age.

Everyone seemed to sense his discomfort. "Feel free to schedule a meeting with me when you've thought it over. If you aren't ready to decide today, it's fine. We're here for you," Baizhu reassured him.

Hotel Buffes'dete, Fontaine Street, Teyvat

3:30 PM

Lyney stared at his Akasha messages. Xiao and Kinich were doing a mock defense in their Akasha server. Furina, Albedo, and Clorinde were acting as panelists while everyone else just watched.

But all Lyney could think of when he saw Kinich's face was that he was a ticking timebomb counting down to both of their demises. Kinich will die, and he'll drag Lyney down with him. That's how their story will go.

All he could think about was how thay boy took everything from him without even realizing it.

But...

But why?

Why is he thinking such negative things about him? Why does he feel a weird sensation bubble up in his stomach?

Was he angry? And at what? At whom?

Was he angry at the fact that he was going to inevitably die in a way that he never wanted to go? Was he angry at the fact that the only way to save him would be to sacrifice the very essence of his being?

Was he angry at Kinich? Why was he angry at him? It's not his fault. It never was, and it never will be. It wasn't his fault that Lyney fell in love with him. It wasn't his fault that Lyney felt so happy and safe with him. It wasn't his fault that he was dying. Kinich wouldn't want Lyney to die because of him, and he knew that. So why? Why was Lyney so angry at him?

Kinich was kind. Too kind. His kindness both saved and doomed Lyney. Lyney scrolled up and saw all the times his love stayed up at absurd hours of the evening just to indulge Lyney. He looked around his room and saw gifts and flowers that were given to him. Lyney saw the deck of cards that Kinich hand drew.

He had given him everything willingly. Yet he would be the reason why Lyney's life would go toppling down and he wouldn't even know it.

Lyney knew all of these were facts. So why was he still angry?

Chapter Text

5-11-XXXX

Dr. Thoma and I had a phone session today because I really needed someone to talk to and he's the only psychiatrist I know that takes last minute bookings.

It's just that my perception of Kinich suddenly shifted so drastically yesterday, and for thr worst. I went from seeing him as the most wonderful person in the world to not being able to look at him without feeling anger. I don't want it to affect our relationship.

I haven't been answering his messages on Akasha. He sensed my discomfort on call yesterday and he kept asking me what was wrong. He said he'd give me some space and that if I'm ready to talk, he'd be there.

Dr. Thoma suggested that I talk to him about it rather than just pretend those feelings aren't there. I know he's right, and that Kinich deserves to know. But it's so unbelievably selfish and idiotic that I'm blaming someone who can't control the situation I put myself into.

I'm a mess.

Chapter Text

????

????

Lyney was drowning. He was drowning in water so deep the sun couldn't reach him. It was cold, dark, lonely. He opened his eyes, he tried to scream but bubbles came out.

This was it. The end of the line.

Then, there was a light. It started off small, like a star had fallen from the sky and into the water. Then, it shifted its form. Something more human. Something that looked like someone he loved.

The figure wrapped its arms around him, engulfing him in light – a gentle yet firm embrace. It was soft, warm. He wasn't alone. He could breathe. The light carried him to the surface, but when he got on land, it dimmed. Its eyes closed and it fell back into the water, unmoving as bubbles left its nose. Then, the darkness engulfed it once more.

As the light dimmed, Lyney saw who his savior was.

It was him. Kinich, his beloved. Lyney reached out to him, to save him from drowning too, but a firm hand placed itself on his shoulder. It was another light, one brighter, one warmer. Lady Mavuika.

She looked at the horizon, and Lyney realized that the ocean was gone. He wasn't on an island with a vast ocean, he was in the hospital, staring at his love's body. He was cold, the monitor wasn't beeping, and his face was covered with a white cloth. The rise and fall of his chest wasn't there anymore.

Dead.

"He passed away this morning," she said in a stoic manner. She said it in a way that sounded like she was just telling him another mundane thing like the weather.

Suddenly, her grip hardened. "Couldn't you have said goodbye?" she spat, venom lacing her voice.

Suddenly, the hospital around them melted. The warmth Lady Mavuika had was gone, replaced with an icy feeling that somehow burned.

"You didn't even tell him what was wrong. He thought he did something horrible to you," she laughed, covering her face as her other hand gripped Lyney so hard he swore his shoulder started to bleed. Then, she melted, and it showed Lord Capitano. He shook his head in a disappointed manner. His Father was next to him. "I thought I raised you to be emotionally competent, Lyney. I thought I raised you to face your problems rationally, not run away from them. It seems you never learn."

Then came Ajaw. "Selfish brat," he muttered as he glared. Then, Dr. Thoma and Dr. Mizuki. The latter shook her head and Dr. Thoma looked defeated. "Lyney, I told you to tell him how you feel."

After all was said and done, there was silence. Lyney looked down at his hands that gripped his pants. It was so dark, so lonely, so cold.

A flickering light appeared. Lyney didn't dare look up. He didn't dare look to see who had something to say. Then he heard that dreaded voice say those six words he never wants to hear him say.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."

A force made Lyney look up just in time to see Kinich turn around and walk away. His posture was straight and sure, shoulders slightly relaxed as though this was just another normal decision he made.

Lyney stood up and ran, but no matter how fast he sprinted, Kinich just kept getting farther and farther away.

"Wait! Please, let me explain!" Lyney begged. "I don't hate you! Please don't apologize! It's not your fault, please don't leave me!" he pleaded.

Then, Kinich stopped. "It's not yours either, you know?" he turns. Just as he does, a vine emerges from the ground. Lyney stares wide-eyed and helpless as it starts to tear the love of his life apart, roses and embercore flowers spilling where blood should be.

The petals formed a new figure. Himself – a very clear representation of his guilt. "Lyney" walked toward him. "It's your fault. This is your own doing. If you just died that night none of this would've happened. But look at you. You're such a failure you couldn't even die properly," he mocked himself.

Then "Lyney" left. He was all alone now. He felt water engulf him again, but this time, he let himself be dragged under.

And then he coughed out flowers.

And then he...

Then...

The n...

Th e...

...

?!

Hotel Buffes'dete, Fontaine Street, Teyvat

11:30 PM

Lyney woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He looked around. He was in his room. He didn't cough up a petal, and he was sure Kinich was still alive.

He laid down again. His guilt was eating him up so bad he had a nightmare. It hasn't even been a day.

He checked his phone and opened Akasha. Sure enough, the last message from Kinich was sent 3 hours ago. It was that stupidly adorable GIF of J-hope doing random heart motions with his hands. Lyney still hasn't replied to him once, only reacted to his messages.

He closed his eyes again.

Chapter Text

5-12-XXXX

I'm at the gym right now. The nightmare from last night shook me too much and I wanted to do some acrobatics to maybe calm my mind. He just had to be here of all times.

He was instructing Kachina during her martial arts training (I completely forgot that he was her instructor). I don't know if he saw me. If he did, he definitely chose not to engage.

I'm not ready to confront him yet, but I don't want to be "too late". I know it was just a nightmare, but given the circumstances, I don't want to risk it.

Thinking is hard.

Chapter Text

May 13

Hotel Buffes'dete, Fontaine Street, Teyvat

10:30 AM

Lyney tried to get his mind off of things by drawing some set designs for future shows. Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

—✉️—

[Akasha] Private Message

Mon trésor

Mon trésor: Hey

Mon trésor: I know I said I'd give you some space, but your Father is here. She and Thrain are finalizing the seat plan for the trip.

Mon trésor: I don't want to make things awkward or uncomfortable for you by having you sit next to me so I just wanna know if you'd like to switch seats with someone?

Mon trésor: Sorry, I can't exactly move since Thrain and Mavuika were advised to constantly have me in sight in the rear view mirror.

Mon trésor: If you don't want to move seats, we can switch so you can have the window seat.

Mon trésor: Again, sorry for bothering you 🙇‍♂️

—✉️—

Lyney stared at his phone. Even though Kinich was being ignored, his priority was still Lyney's comfort. Damn it, it was like the world was constantly trying to call Lyney an asshole.

He considered it. But if he requested to be moved then they'd think something was wrong between them, and that'd be an even bigger can of worms to open. The only people who know about Lyney's dillema were Dr. Thoma and Dr. Mizuki.

He decided against moving. Better not to make it everyone else's problem.

For the first time in three days, he replied.

—✉️—

[Akasha] Private Message

Mon trésor

Me: Hi, hi, it's no problem.

Me: No need to switch seats. It's not uncomfortable at all 💓

Me: Thanks for being so considerate, K

Mon trésor: Alright, I'll tell them.

Mon trésor: I'll still ask them to give you the window seat anyway. Watching the scenery drive by helps clear the mind, and you probably need that.

Me: Thank you.

Me: Sorry for making you feel like a bother. I'm just not in the right headspace right now and I don't want to unintentionally hurt you.

Mon trésor: It's okay, Lyney, no need to apologize. I hope you still know that I love you.

Mon trésor: Don't hesitate to reach out once you're ready. I'll be right here.

Mon trésor: (^-^)/ ♡

—✉️—

And just like that, he was offline again.

And Lyney...

Couldn't even bring himself to reply with an "I love you too".

He turned his phone off. Maybe a short jog would help him clear his mind?

Fontaine District, Outskirts, Outer Fontaine Weeping Willow Forest, Teyvat

11:30 AM

The river below Sta. Focalors Bridge leads to a nice forest in the outskirts of the city. They call it the Outer Fontaine Weeping Willow Forest because it looks identical to the real deal in mainland Fontaine.

Lyney loved to come here to clear his head. The water was nice and there weren't many people. Freminet was the one who showed him this place.

But the earlier interaction kept his mind running. He was making Kinich feel like he was the problem. It was cracking their relationship, Lyney could feel it. He had to fix it but... but how would Kinich react to learning that Lyney was irrationally angry at him for something neither of them could control? Lyney isn't ready. But what if by the time Lyney felt like confronting him, Kinich would've–

"Fuck!"

Lyney tripped and the puzzle piece keychain he had in his pocket fell into the rushing river. The one Kinich gave him at the arcade.

He ran to get it, and when he did, some of the paint washed off. He expected it. It was a cheap keychain, after all. But seeing the color look so smudged felt like a mockery.

He texted Lynette, Freminet, and Father about his whereabouts. Just in case they got worried. He kind of just... sat there.

If he doesn't act fast, he'd ruin the whole trip for Kinich and make everything awkward.

But...

...

Why was he so fast to conclude that Kinich, who saw him at his lowest and still stayed, would resent Lyney?

Chapter Text

May 14

Deshret Plaza, Sumeru Avenue, Teyvat

10:02 AM

Applause resounded throughout the park. Kinich turned off the speaker, bowed, plopped down onto a bench and downed some water, his friend sitting next to him. "Shit man, you really showed me why you were the dancing champion back at home," Tuqllaki sighs, opening his own water. Kinich elbowed him. "You're not slithering your way out of paying for lunch with compliments," he teased. "What? Just sayin'! But seriously man, I'm glad to see that your health started taking a turn for the better!"

Kinich just nodded. He doesn't have the heart to tell his friend. "I'm just glad to finally be out of the hospital. How's Elder Leik?"

Tuqllaki laughs. "Still alive and kicking! He went bungee jumping with us the other day. That old man still has it," he takes another long swig of his water. "How's uni?"

Kinich shrugged. "Tame so far. Planning on shifting to BSBA this school year. Figured I'd get more job opportunities with an economics course. You?"

"Eh, dropped out. I'm still trying to figure some stuff out and medicine wasn't doing it for me. Trying to look into some history related courses."

They talked for a while. Tuqllaki was one of Kinich's few childhood friends. He was one of the few kids that didn't judge him for being poor or for having a weaker body than most of his peers. They still kept in touch even after Kinich moved out of mainland Natlan.

He opened his phone and the other got a glimpse of his lock screen which was a picture of him and Lyney. "Woah! Who's that?!" his phone got snatched. "That's my boyfriend. Gimme that," Kinich took it back. "You have a boyfriend and you never told me?!"

"Well, you never asked!"

Tuqllaki pauses. "Well, that certainly explains the hickeys," he points. Kinich's eyes widened. They could see those?! He shook his head and changed the topic.

"What about you? No luck with you-know-who?"

"Talking stage. Ten year talking stage. I'm dying bro."

"Hm, good to know," Kinich replies opening a pack of crackers. "Not even a couple words of comfort?!"

Xinyue Kiosk: Teyvat City Branch, Liyue Street, Teyvat

12:30 PM

"You drained my Mora, you greedy bitch!" Tuqllaki mourned his money. Kinich stuck his tongue out, crossing 'eat at xinyue kiosk without carrying the bill this time' out of his bucket list. "Food tastes better when you're not paying for it," he leans back. "I'll pay you back, don't worry," he swears. "Yeah I forgot you're rich now..." Tuqllaki buries his face, faking a cry. Kinich rolls his eyes and manages to catch Lyney.

The latter looked away, trying to ignore him. Kinich furrowed his brow.

"Hey, isn't that your boyfriend?" Tuqllaki points at him. Kinich sighs. "Yeah. He's here with family though so don't bother him," he lied. Tuqllaki, who seemed to want to call him over, sat back down.

Turnfire Street, "Scions of the Canopy", Municipality of Natlan, Teyvat

1:15 PM

Kinich loosened his bandana as he laid on his bed, eyes glued to the ceiling. Lyney was still ignoring him.

Did he do something that made Lyney upset?

Hd touched the hickeys on his neck. Maybe he was too pushy that night?

Maybe he didn't pay enough attention to Lyney?

Did he do something that might have crossed Lyney's boundaries?

He looked at the jacket and shoee Lyney gifted him. He sighed and resisted the urge to text him. Lyney wanted space and all he could do was wait until he was ready.

He shook his head and decided to practice some piano. Tuqllaki said something earlier that stuck with him.

"Your mom's still alive, y'know?"

Chapter Text

5-14-XXXX

I saw him dancing at Deshret Plaza earlier. It looked like he was having a dance battle with a friend. Luckily I wore a hoodie and the crowd was relatively big so he didn't notice me. He looked like he was having a blast. Honestly, it's been a while since I last saw him dance. He didn't do any dancing during the play (Venti removed all his dancing parts in favor of a stunt double because he literally just got discharged from the hospital at that time and he wasn't taking any risks).

I think the last time he ever did a dance for a public performance was during the culture bazaar last year. The Natlan department was in charge for that time and since he was still one of the 6 honor students, he had to take part. He did ballroom dancing and his costume was very... open. I guess I developed a little crush there too but it was so short-lived I only remembered it now.

Who knew that I'd end up dating him? Or rather, who knew I'd be ghosting him?

On a less sad note, Navia finally didn't use persuasion during a session. Thank Celestia.

Chapter Text

May 15

Iansan's Fitness Club: Outer Natlan Gym, Atocpan Highway, "Collective of Plenty", Municipality of Natlan, Teyvat

11:30 AM

Kinich was instructing Kachina again. She was almost about to earn her red belt, so she's putting in more effort than normal. To be completely honest, he looked like he was out of it. He was probably thinking of something.

Wriothesley seemed to sense this as he kept glancing in his direction. "What's up?" Iansan sat next to him, munching on a granola bar. "Don't you think he looks a little... distracted?" he mutters, getting up from the bench. Iansan narrowed her eyes and realized it too. "Hm... go talk to him," she walked off to scold one of her students who was slacking.

"Nice work today, Kachina. Let's work on your form tomorrow, okay?" he ruffled her hair and gave her some lunch money. She shook her head. "My mom already gave me enough money for lunch, I can't possibly take that too!" she refused. Kinich paused and knelt down, gently closing her little palms around the cash. "You've done well so far. Consider this as payment for putting your all," he said. Reluctantly, she took the money and went outside. Mualani was waiting for her.

As soon as Kachina was sent home, Kinich began to pack up. "Hey, K! I'm gonna go do aerials. Mind spotting me?"

Kinich knew what it meant. It means Wriothesley sensed that something was wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it, and there wasn't any way for him to slither his way out. Rarely anyone does gymnastics in Iansan's gym, so it was the perfect place for a one on one talk.

"What do you want?" Kinich asked, watching Wriothesley on the bar. "Something's troubling you."

"Eh, just boy problems."

Wriothesley paused mid swing. Despite being upside-down, Kinich could still see the confusion on his face. "Seriously? You and Lyney? Having problems?" he questioned. Now that he thinks about it, he barely saw them talk now. Kinich was either at the gym, the park, or the library. In all those times, Lyney was nowhere to be found.

"Oh, that's why you haven't been talking!"

Kinich looked away for a brief moment and then resumed his job of being Wriothesley's spotter. This caused the latter's eyes to soften slightly. "What's going on between you two?"

The other doesn't say anything. He's not exactly an open person but he really needs to let out his feelings. But he knows Wriothesley. It's not that he's a horrible person, but he knows how to use someone's weaknesses to their advantage.

"I won't snitch. I swear on the lives of everyone currently being held in the custody of the Fortress of Meropide," Wriothesley swore. "... If you lie, that's thousands of peoples' lives going down the drain," Kinich muttered.

"Well, he's not feeling too well mentally or emotionally right now. He says he needs space but... I'm scared I did something that might've upset him."

"Ask him then."

"I did! He just left me on delivered," his grip on the bar pad tightening slightly. "I can't force him to open up if he doesn't want to. I just... I guess I just don't want to lose him."

Wriothesley doesn't say anything. He gets off the bar and sits on the ground, patting the space next to him. Kinich sits down, knees close to his chest. Nobody's ever seen him look this... small. Nobody's ever seen him look so defeated. Not Wriothesley, not Lyney, hell not even his own adoptive parents.

"I feel like I messed something up somewhere along the line and this is the price I'm paying for it," he says barely above a whisper.

What could he have done that upset Lyney so much? Was he the problem?

Was Lyney running out of love? Did the hanahaki mean nothing? How would he even fix this?

Their trip was in two days, and nothing was fixed.

If he disappeared, would Lyney even care?

Chapter Text

5-16-XXXX

It's like 12 AM right now but I felt like writing. I haven't been able to sleep. I overheard Kinich and Wriothesley talking at the gym. I didn't mean to. I was just in the changing rooms near the bars and neither noticed me.

So my guess was right. He genuinely thinks he's the problem.

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to just wrap my arms around him and tell him that none of it was his fault, but again I couldn't.

This is the exact reason why I almost died to hanahaki. Hesitation, distance, fear – now anger. By the time I steeled myself up, they were gone.

I think they went to get ice cream. He posted a story on Adventurer's Handbook earlier. Something about caramel sundaes being better than strawberry and tagging Wriothesley with a couple eye rolls and a thumbs down emoji. I only know because Wriothesley reposted it on his account calling him a hater.

I miss hanging out with him like that. I can't even shuffle that deck he made me without feeling like something was missing. I wish it was easy. I wish it wasn't so hard to just man up and tell him how I feel.

???

????

????????????

Ajaw entered Mavuika's office. "Hm? What brings you here at this hour?"

"Care to explain why there's a bloody rainbow rose petal in the trash bin?"

Chapter Text

May 16

Turnfire Street, "Scions of the Canopy", Municipality of Natlan, Teyvat

2:30 AM

"Sorry for calling you here on this hour, Dr. Chuychu," Mavuika apologized. "It's no problem. After all, Kinich is my little sister's friend. Think of it as returning the favor for taking care of her," she shrugs. Ajaw came back downstairs, dragging a tired Kinich along. He seemed to wake up the moment he saw Chuychu.

"Good morning, doctor. What's going on?" he questioned, taking a seat. "Your friend here discovered a bloody rainbow rose in the bathroom and I'd like to run a quick evaluation," she calmly explains. "Now, first things first. Ajaw allegedly found a bloody rainbow rose petal in the trash bin. Is it yours?"

"Yes, doctor."

She nodded. "Well then, may I run a couple tests to estimate the severity?" she asked, pulling out her stethoscope. Kinich nodded. He kept quiet throughout the tests, as always. Most of the talking was done by her asking him to either do something or tell her if an area hurts or not.

After some time, she came to an initial conclusiob. "Unfortunately, due to your already waning health, the hanahaki is progressing at an alarming rate. I'd say you're nearing stage 2 already, considering the fact that you're already coughing up blood. Although it could just be the hanahaki being tangled up with another disease you already have," she says. Kinich nodded, his hands tightening their grip around his pants.

So Lyney really...

Chuychu turned to Mavuika and Capitano. "I know you have a trip tomorrow so I'll be informing another branch of Bubu Hospital. We'll share his medical records with the professionals in Natlan. The technology there is far more advanced so he'll be in safe hands. Oh, Kinich, you can go back to bed. I'll see you this afternoon during Kachina's tournament."

He nodded and went back to his room. Today was gonna be a long day.

2:30 PM

Sacred Flame Martial Arts Association: Teyvat City Branch, Celestia Street, Teyvat

Kinich was helping Kachina fix her dobok. "Nervous?" he asked. She slowly nodded. "It's normal. Just make sure that when you face your opponent or showcase your form, you need to have...?"

"A... clear head!"

"Exactly. And remember. When you fall, get right back up and try again. But also...?"

Kachina pauses and answers. "But... uhm... listen! Listen to my body!"

Kinich nods. "Exactly. If you can't fight anymore, don't force yourself to. The last thing you want is an injury. As Iansan says, your well-being is your top priority. It's okay to fall. There's always the next tournament, and then the next, and then the next. We'll always be right here supporting you," he ruffles her hair. She feels a new wave of motivation fuel her little body and she nods enthusiastically.

Kachina was quite the trooper. She signed up for both sparring and pumsae. Mualani was sitting next to Kinich on the bench reserved for coaches and guardians. She seemed to notice something and excused herself. He didn't mind. The guest speakers always had long speeches anyway

Somewhere upstairs...

"Hey, you."

Lyney pauses and turns around to see Chasca leaning against a wall with Mualani next to hef. "Chasca? Mualani? What a pleasant surprise! Are you here to watch the tournament too?"

Mualani nods. "Yup! We're actually both here to support Kachina!"

Chasca chimes in. "But, something came up. Can we speak with you for a bit?"

Puzzled, he agreed and they made sure nobody was watching. "I know this isn't our place to pry, but I take my role as a peacekeeper very seriously. That includes my friends. So, we'd like to ask if..."

Mualani's demeanor suddenly shifted. She fiddled with her hands before sighing. "Are you falling out of love with Kinich?"

Of course they noticed. Lyney knew there wasn't room for him to run. He couldn't put his facade on because Chasca knew how to read people. There was nowhere to go. He had to face his problems eventually.

"... No. No, never! Why...?"

Chasca sighed. "My sister is Kinich's doctor. He developed some type of hanahaki sub-category or something. The symptoms are still the same but it's more intense."

Mualani nods. "According to what Lady Mavuika said, this version of hanahaki isn't necessarily caused by unrequited love but rather... uh, what'd she say?"

"Rather, it's caused by a lack of trust."

Trust.

Trust?

...

Oh.

"My sister said that if her guess if you not falling out of love is correct, then it'd explain why his hanahaki is so bad. The fact that you love him but don't trust him enough to at least settle things makes it worse than the usual unrequited love flower barf."

"He doesn't know that we know that he has hanahaki. And we sure as hell know he has no plans on telling anyone else. Seriously, we only found out about his cancer and weak heart three years into junior high and we've known each other since kindergarten!" Mualani mutters. "We're not telling you how to run your relationship. We also don't know what you're going through, Lyney. We're just worried about our friend. Just... when you feel ready, please talk to him. I don't... I don't want to lose both of my best friends," the surfer looks down. "Don't force yourself, though. He won't accept you opening up to him if you're doing it because someone forced you to, and it'll worsen his hanahaki anyway. Just go at your own pace, okay?" Chasca advised, ruffling his hair.

He doesn't want to lose him either. In his attempt to get away from death, he ended up hurting the one he loved so dear more.

Lyney went and gave him the disease he'd been trying desperately to avoid.

The cheers of the people echoed through the stadium. "Sounds like the sparring already began. We'd better head back," Chasca put her hand on Mualani's shoulder. The latter nodded. "See you later, Lyney! Akasha game night!"

He watched them get away and disappear into the hall, leaving him alone. He looked down and saw the puzzle piece keychain that was now faded beyond recognition.

Damn it.

Chapter Text

5-17-XXXX

We just got into our rooms in the hotel she and Lord Capitano booked. We're staying for quite some time since the venue of Xiao and Kinich's competition was moved here last minute.

Speaking of, they'll join us for dinner later. They went to a branch at Bubu Hospital to get him checked out. He was asleep for like 90% of the trip. The few times he was awake it was either for pit stops or because he had to throw up on the side of the road (everyone decided not to address the ridiculous amount of flowers). He also barely ate anything but it's probably because he'll end up letting it all out at anyway.

I, on the other hand, was awake most of the time. At some point I did fall asleep and I woke up with my head on his shoulder and his hand lightly holding it in place (he didn't notice that I'd woken up, he was listening to music and staring outside).

The scenery here in Natlan is wonderful. You can definitely see how the people here try to preserve their culture as much as they can. It's hotter though, but that's a given. Maybe one day I can perform here?

There's lots of saurians. The bellhop even had a baby one following him around and pushing carts. Sadly, I had to leave Rosseland at home (some of the kids at the House are taking care of her). She would've loved making new friends!

Well, I'd probably enjoy life more if the underlying guilt of accidentally being the reason for my boyfriend's slow and agonizing death wasn't there.

I'm done hiding. I'm not letting myself run away anymore.

Chapter Text

5-18-XXXX

Aye so he has to stay at the hospital for two days because they need to get him checked for a little while longer. Lady Mavuika's going to show us a couple cultural landmarks today so that's something.

Chapter Text

May 18

Bubu Hospital: Natlan Branch, "Flower-Feather Clan", Natlan

11:57 AM

Kinich had an oxygen mask on. The doctors said that his hanahaki progressed faster than usual and that he won't breathe properly without it but frankly his main concern was the fact the main character of this new light novel he was reading was a dumbass. Who in their right mind would try to make their boyfriend jealous by flirting with other guys during his birthday party?! That's messed up, even for fiction.

He huffed (to the best of his ability) and closed the app, opening Akasha to rant, likely to Mualani or Tuqllaki, aka the two idiots who recommended it to him. Just as he did, a message from Lyney appeared.

–💌–

[Akasha] Private Message

Mi cielo

Mi cielo: Hey, are you awake?

Mi cielo: How're you doing?

Mi cielo: I know you're supposed to be resting right now, you don't have to reply right away it's just

Mi cielo: I'm ready to talk. I know this isn't something that should be discussed through text but I have this feeling that if I don't spit it out already I'd lose the chance.

Mi cielo: It's kinda

Mi cielo: Selfish sounding. If you know what I mean

Me: Would you like to call instead?

Mi cielo: Holy shit you're awake

Mi cielo: But yeah, it'd probably be better if we called instead

–💌–

He's not in the best condition to call, but he wants to know and fix things as soon as he could.

Incoming call from Mi cielo ! Answer or reject?

He answered, and Lyney's voice came in a raspy whisper.

Chapter Text

May 18

Hot springs, "People of the Springs", Natlan

11:59 AM

"Lyney?"

Holy shit, he sounded terrible. Kinich's voice sounded like he struggled to even breathe, and he could hear the faint sound of medical equipment beeping and humming. Maybe the call was a bad idea.

No, he shouldn't think like that.

"Hey, mon amour, how are you doing?" he moved to a more secluded area. Lynette and Freminet exchanged glances but decided against prying.

"Honestly, I've been better. This isn't exactly what I was expecting during a vacation to my homeland," he said. "How about y–" he cut himself off with a choked cough that made Lyney wince.

He caused that.

He's hearing it now, the love of his life paying the price for his cowardice.

"Well, Mavuika said the closest thing they had to Fontaine was the People of the Springs. The hot springs here are quite nice. But, back to the topic at hand. I..." he trailed off, wondering how he'd word it.

"I'm here to finally tell you why I've been avoiding you. And no, it's not you. It never was. It was me."

Kinich hummed. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I found out that my hanahaki might come back whe- if you die. I– I don't know what came over me. I just started feeling so... irrationally angry at you. The shift was so drastic, like a click and suddenly all I could see you as was a ticking time bomb counting down to my downfall.

But... but you're patient. You're none of the things I viewed you as during that time. I didn't want to explode on you, to say something that might hury you, so I avoided you. I'm sorry. I know. I probably sound so selfish right now. I tried to run away from my problems, to not face what's in front of me, and now you're here paying the price for it."

He paused. "I tried to avoid hurting you but ended up doing just that in the process."

There was silence on the other end. All Lyney could hear were the sounds of the machines and Kinich's labored breaths.

"I crossed your boundaries. You specifically told me that if I need something to be completely honest with you, and I didn't respect that. I was so scared that you'd see me as selfish, that you'd see me as a coward who blames others for things that can't be controlled. But... if you do see me as that, I wouldn't blame you. I see me as that too."

He stopped, hands gripping the seageass below him to ground himself.

"So that's it. Lyney, it's okay. It's okay to be selfish."

"But I hurt you. I made you think you were a burden, that I didn't love you. I was thinking of all these negative things about you."

"You were told something you didn't want to hear and there was a catalyst to turn your anger to. It's natural, Lyney. But, you did what you thought was right to try and not hurt anyone, including yourself. I could see it in your eyes. You were hurting too.

Lyney, you're a strong person–" he coughed, "You're brave and talented, but above all you're selfless. I see how you sacrifice everything for your siblings and your family. If you think what you did was selfish, then I think you deserve the time to be selfish too. Choosing yourself first from time to time doesn't make you a horrible person, Lyney. I know that you know that, but I just think you might need a reminder."

Water ran down Lyney's cheeks. He was lucky they were in a hot spring.

"I don't deserve you," he wiped his eyes. He could hear Kinich chuckle. "I don't deserve you."

"Thank you for being honest, Lyney. Just remember– remember that I'm here for you–" Lyney could hear the monitor start to beep faster. "Mon amour?"

"And I hope you know that. . . I. . ."

He hears the doors slam open and people run in urgently.

"I love you."

All he could hear next was a flatline.

And once again, he didn't say I love you back.

Chapter Text

5-19-XXXX

His heart stopped yesterday so they had to put him in a coma for a while. They estimated that he'd be knocked out for at least three days. Only two visitors at a time are allowed so Lady Mavuika took me along with her.

She's sitting next to his bed and wiping the sweat off his forehead right now. She's been clutching his hand in a way that I can only describe as her thinking he'd disappear if she let go. I heard that people were still able to hear while being in a coma, so she's been whispering sweet words of encouragement. At some point, she switched to their native tongue.

I've never seen her this vulnerable. Today, she was just a parent with her child. It reminds me of when Father would care for us when we were sick.

I keep thinking about yesterday. Not an ounce of blame in his voice, not even a bit of anger. Just the usual, almost monotone voice he uses to speak on a daily basis. Just gentler, kinda like how he talks to Kachina or Mualani when they're upset.

To think that I almost lost him forever– that if I didn't man up yesterday he would've disappeared without even a little bit of closure between us.

What would I even do if he did?

Chapter Text

May 19

Bubu Hospital: Natlan Branch, "Flower-Feather Clan", Natlan

12:30 PM

Lyney put his diary down and observed the way Mavuika gently grazed her hands over her adoptive son's cheek. She was crying. It was soft, but the tears were there.

He understood very limited Natlanese. From what he could understand she was almost pleading with him to wake up or to give her a sign that he was still with her. He could be wrong, but what she was saying was something along those lines.

It felt like he was witnessing something he shouldn't be. A quiet moment between family, and one of the most decorated women in the military rendered so vulnerable.

After some time, she wiped her tears and stood up. Mavuika was grateful she didn't wear any makeup today.

She gestured for Lyney to come over. "Do you want a moment with him? People in comas still hear the outside world, you know," she said. He took her place on the chair next to the bed while she stood in the corner to control her tears.

Lyney didn't cry. He didn't cry when he heard the flatline yesterday nor when Lord Capitano told them that he had to be put in a coma for a few days.

He did, however, shed a few tears the second he held onto his beloved's limp and cold hand. He wasn't dead, his heart was still pumping blood throughout his body and kept him warm yet he still felt so uncharacteristically cold – almost like a corpse.

He breathed out a puff of air, a futile attempt to warm him up. Warm, salty tears landed on Kinich's knuckles as Lyney's soft pleas filled the room.

"Rest up for us, okay? Then, when you wake up, I'll make up for all the lost time. I won't let you go again, so... so please..." he whispered.

They stayed like that for a while until he and Mavuika decided to leave.

"Sorry you had to see that side of me, Lyney."

"No, no, it's fine. I understand. But, you seem so familiar with it. May I ask why?"

Mavuika sighed. "My sister, Hine. She died when we were very young, and it was the very same disease that took her life. I guess I... well, seeing someone I hold so dear battling the same fight as someone I lost fills me with some very bittersweet memories."

Lyney just nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's life, kid. Things happen."

When they got into the hallway, they bumped into a woman who was dressed in Inazuman clothing. However, she bore the tribal markings of the Scions of the Canopy. She was, without a doubt, a full-blooded Natlanese.

"Excuse me, is this the way to room 578?"

Kinich's room.

Mavuika tensed up. "You're..."

The woman seemed to recognize her, and then guilt replaced her calm expression. "Yes, yes I am."

"Who...?"

"Lyney, meet Kinich's biological mother."

Chapter Text

5-20-XXXX

Visited him today and his bio mom was there. It was kinda awkward? I don't know exactly how to describe it. I don't know the specifics of his childhood but I do know that his relationship with her is kind of complicated, to say the least.

He doesn't talk about her that much. I had no idea what to expect from her nor what she'd like to talk about. She spent like 30 minutes just muttering apologies through her tears. I stayed outside for those 30 minutes.

At some point Xiao came. He was still threatening Kinich about the competition and what he said was quite funny looking back at it. He said;

"If you dare die before our defense, I'll personally drag your sorry ass out of the Night Kingdom. Turnfire style! It'll cause Orpheus to make a run for his money."

Honestly, I would've laughed my ass off if he didn't say it with tears in his eyes.

Anyway, I did a street show in Chuwen Fair to ease my mind and lots of people showed up to watch. It makes me feel happy to see my magic bring out so many smiles and cheers.

Oh! Mualani messaged the Ski Gang terminal earlier. Kachina got her red belt! Good for her!

Chapter Text

May 21

Bubu Hospital: Natlan Branch, "Flower-Feather Clan", Natlan

10:43 AM

He woke up earlier than expected, but the doctors all said it was a good sign. He was mostly stable, but he had to keep the oxygen mask on for a bit longer. There wasn't a limit to the number of visitors he could have at a time anymore.

He checked his phone and saw that Mualani texted him a photo of Kachina posed with her red belt. Smiling, he sent her a congratulatory message. He should drop by the Children of Echoes to buy some gifts for her. Then, he saw that he was pinged in an Akasha Terminal. Oh great. It was that group chat.

–📩–

[Akasha] Terminal

The Powerpuff Girls

Bubbles: Mother @Professor Utonium are you dead

Bliss: Wriothesley you can't just say that

Bubbles: Who're you? Zeph?

Blossom: THAT'S ALBEDO DIPSHIT

Blossom: At least canon Bubbles has common sense

Bubbles: Mother I'm being bullied

Blossom: You don't even know if he's awake dumbass

Bubbles: @Professor Utonium twinnnn are you up?

Me: twinnnn

Me: @Blossom stop bullying Wriothesley.

Buttercup: MOTHER IS ALIVE

Me: (⌒‐⌒)

–📩–

Seriously. He missed those idiots. He knew Xiao was in Natlan. Maybe he should get souvenirs for the others?

...

Nah.

–📩–

Blossom: Mother what room you in

Blossom: We're gonna visit

Me: Since when were you people in Natlan?

Buttercup: Since two days ago

Me: I knew about you, I'm talking about the others.

Bliss: The rest of us arrived yesterday

Bubbles: Zephyr's idea

Me: Awww, you're worried about me, son?

Blossom: Actually? yeah, I am

Blossom: Especially after xiao cried on VC. And you know he never cries

–📩–

Oh. Well that was unexpected.

Well, despite threatening to skin each other and feed their boiled flesh to saurians on a daily basis, they are still friends. They're all each others' ride or die, so maybe it should've been expected.

He texted them his room number and everyone started bickering again. Just as he did, he heard a knock on his door.

It was Mavuika.

When she saw that he was sitting up and looking at her, she dropped the flowers she was holding and ran straight to him. It was real. What the doctors said was true. Her son was awake and stable.

"Thank Celestia!" she hugged him, careful not to mess up the equipment attached to him. He returned the hug, allowing himself to bask in her warmth.

Elder Leik was there too and he ran to his desciple. "My boy!" he joined the hug. Kinich was overwhelmed by the affection. But, in a good way. Not in the way that he'd want to push them off him. In fact, he felt more inclined to pull them closer.

Thrain stood at the door, relief painting his face. He didn't approach, however. He let them have their moment.

Chapter Text

5-21-XXXX

Lyney's Father once again. He greatly underestimated how strong Natlanese liquor is. He is currently talking to a wall and being very self-depricating. Honestly, that child. I suppose we shall break the news of Kinich's recovery to him tomorrow. Assuming he doesn't sleep for the whole day due to the inevitable hangover.

Luckily, he did not take any of his medications yet. The last thing I want in this trip is a visit to the Hospital with any of my children in the bed.

Okay, forget that last statement. He just tried to ram into the wall. Luckily, one of the elders of the tribe noticed his futile attempt and stopped him.

What ever shall I do with that boy?

Chapter Text

5-22-XXXX

I' so ungover right noa im tasting colors

*the rest of the entry was written messily and has been rendered illegible

Chapter Text

5-22-XXXX

Okay I think the hangover finally subsided. I'm going to reread a couple entries because I genuinely have no idea about what happened yesterday and I was asleep all day. Father said that we were going to the hospital tomorrow.

Chapter Text

5-23-XXXX

Slow dancing in a hospital room wasn't in my bingo card for my love life but it happened.

I don't know. He finally woke up. To say I'm over the moon is an understatement. We were alone and the doctors said I could try to help him stand up and walk around so that he could get the all-clear. I guess I mentioned that I developed a small crush on him when I saw him ballroom dancing, one thing led to another, and suddenly we were dancing with each other. He hummed the tune of Dandelions by Ruth B. I knew he was a singer, I just didn't expect his voice to be... soft? If that's the right adjective.

Everyone left the hospital in high spirits so we decided to watch a saurian race in the Flower-Feather Clan. The saurian I was rooting for won and Lady Mavuika ended up paying me fifty Mora.

Oh, we also bumped into some of Kinich's friends (he calls them his kids for some reason, even Xiao) at the race. Albedo was carrying three bags of Mora, so I guess he won their bet?

On the way to the race, I saw Kinich's mom and an old man headed to the hospital.

Lord Capitano will take him home tonight and the doctors said he's stable enough to run around again (he just has to refrain from doing extreme sports).

Chapter Text

May 24

Contestant's Chamber Hotel, Chuwen Fair, Stadium of the Sacred Flame, Natlan

7:00 AM

Lyney nuzzled against something soft, something warm. It felt so cozy, he almost didn't want to wake up. And–

Hold on. Since when did pillows have heartbeats? He got up and realized that his pajama shirt was unbuttoned and he had a jacket draped over him. Weird. He heard a grunt from below him and realized that he was on top of Kinich.

Huh. Cool.

...

He fell asleep on top of Kinich!

The latter was still sound asleep, one hand loosely wrapped around Lyney in a protective hold. Much like his own shirt, Kinich's was partially unbottoned. Suddenly, the events from last night registered in Lyney's mind, causing blush to creep up his cheeks.

Well, they couldn't help it. The second Kinich entered their room (Mavuika was a cheeky one, making them stay in the same room for the trip), Lyney practically jumped into his arms and pushed him onto the bed, hands pinned above his head. One thing led to another, and suddenly a new batch of love marks littered their bodies.

Perhaps it was the relief that they were still together. Or, perhaps, it was their bodies communicating how much they missed each other? After all, as much as they tried to ignore the lingering feeling of longing, their bodies never could. Their souls yearn for each other, even if their emotions overpower this, they'll find a way to find each other again. In this case, it was a passionate hour.

Well, they didn't do anything... drastic. That was sacred to them and they wanted to be wed before doing anything of the sort.

Lyney looked at his love's face. The last time he saw Kinich asleep, his face was contorted in discomfort – in pain. Now, he was relaxed – at peace.

He lightly brushed Kinich's chin with his thumb. Just a few hours ago, he was smothering the boy in kisses.

Truth be told, last night, each kiss was shared with tears and Lyney's endless apologies. Each time they parted, Lyney repaid each moment he ignored Kinich by telling him how precious he was, that Lyney would never let him go ever again. He recalls how Lyney's hair and face were gently caressed, how Kinich said that it was okay – that it was a small price to pay to ensure that Lyney's mental health wouldn't spiral deeper into the Abyss.

Kinich stirred and looked at the magician on top of him. Alarm momentarily filled his eyes before they softened once more.

Had Lyney ever pointed out how expressive his eyes were? No matter how neutral his face was, no matter how emotionless he seemed to be, his eyes told a different story. His eyes were akin to stained glass windows, with emerald and orange dancing together beautifully to paint a tapestry. Like those windows, they showed what was seen within. But like stained glass windows, they were hard to see through. You'd have to lean into them more to understand the images formed from the other side.

To Lyney, that was the perfect metaphor to describe his love– his treasure. His eyes were windows to see what the boy thought, but you'd have to understand him to finally see how his eyes betrayed his neutral expressions.

"You're staring," he says, adjusting his hold on Lyney so he too could stare into his eyes.

Purple eyes that hid more than any other closet in the world. While Kinich's eyes revealed more than what one could see, Lyney's were used for hiding. He'd mastered that act – his eyes a built-in masquerade that allowed nobody to reach the magician's heart. Those eyes that seemed to smile at any given moment carried burdens. Burdens carried by an heir, an older brother who wanted nothing more than to protect his siblings. A soul yearning for death but still encouraging those around him to live. He built a wall disguised as a bridge around his heart, one impossible to tear down.

Yet, somehow, Kinich did just that. He saved that wall from collapsing into a dark sea of nothingness– he turned that wall into a bridge, and revealed the secrets hidden by those closed doors that were supposed to be windows.

"Can't help it, you're beautiful," Lyney kissed him again. One of many they've shared, and one of many yet to be shared. Kinich kissed him back. "We need to get ready for breakfast now," he said. Lyney nodded and went to the bathroom to freshen up. Well, not before handing the jacket back.

Kinich fished out his bucket list from his jacket pocket.

-Introduce a partner to Elder Leik

He hummed to himself. Mavuika's agenda stated that they'd be visiting the Scions of the Canopy for today. Maybe he could pay his old teacher a visit?

"Oh, Kinich, Lyney, perfect. Elder Leik wants to catch up so we'll be dropping you both off at his house," Mavuika clapped her hands. Lyney tilted his head and Kinich clarified that he was his first teacher and foster father. "Oh, that! Why me though?"

"He wants to meet you," Arlecchino took a sip of her coffee. "We will be browsing the market in the meantime," she added. The two nodded and finished their meals.

The elder's home was way up in the mountains, a greater distance from the tribe. Kinich knocked on an all-too-familiar door. An old man greeted them with a wide and toothy grin. "Haha, my boy!" he pulled Kinich into a lung crushing embrace. "Still in great shape I reckon, elder?"

"Hah! Your old man's still got it!" he ushered them inside. "I prepared tea and cookies, come, come."

"So, how's school? I know about you becoming 'Malipo' in terms of ranking. That's my boy! Y'know, Lyney – that's your name right?" Lyney nodded. "Alright. Well, I'll have you know I taught this boy all of the fundamentals for survival! So, Kinich, how's it been?"

"Great," he shrugs, reaching for another cookie. "Still a boy of a few words I see. Any plans?"

"I'm moving to BSBA when school opens again. Being a physician is pretty rewarding but I reckon I'd find more use in economics."

Elder Leik sighed. "Haa, you and money, seriously."

Lyney chuckled, earning a slight pout from his love. "I heard about the play from Mavuika and Chuychu. No plans for romance my butt!" he fished out his phone and pulled up a picture of the Teyvat Times, the school publication of Teyvat University. The article was a news feature about their play and the highlighted scene was the improvised one, with the picture being a zoomed in image of the graveyard scene.

Lyney absolutely lost it when Kinich pulled his bandana down to fully cover his face. 

"Anyway, how's the bucket list?" he asked. Suddenly, the atmosphere shifted. Kinich's face remained neutral, but Lyney and Elder Leik saw in his eyes that there was something hidden. "Close to completion," he simply said.

Yeah. Close to completion because he scribbled out half of the entries.

"...Say, son, why don't you run to the tribe real quick and get some ingredients for lunch," Elder Leik handed him a list. "Come on, bring out those courier genes!"

Kinich shrugged and left after giving Lyney a quick peck on the cheek.

As they watched him leave, Elder Leik turned to Lyney with a stern expression. "So, I heard you have him hanahaki," he narrowed his eyes. Lyney gulped and nodded, shame in his own. "... Did he hurt you?"

Lyney looked up. "What?"

"My so–... student. Did he hurt you?"

"No, of course not. Why?"

The two sat down again. "Mavuika told me it was born from trust. The hanahaki, I mean. If you didn't trust my boy, I assumed that he hurt you. I'm glad to see that's not the case."

Lyney gripped his pants. "Actually, monsieur, I ended up hurting him."

The old man's eyes softened, his age suddenly obvious. "Go on, lad. Take your time."

Lyney recounts the previous days – how his anger and fear caused his treasure to lose his shine. The old man rubbed his back in a soothing manner. "Like he said, emotions are hard. And well, I have a lot of things to thank you for, Lyney."

"He never believed in love. When I first saw him, he believed that everything was transactional. He believed that love was a gamble, and he hates gambles and gamblers more than anything.

But, I managed to convince him to give it a shot, so he wrote "find a partner" in his bucket list. I'm pretty sure he only did that just to shut me up.

His health took a turn for the worst when he was sixteen. His condition looked horrible. One day, I overheard him talking to himself. He was worried that he'd die without ever finding out what love truly meant.

I felt guilty. I couldn't be the one to show him what love was. Neither could Mavuika, nor the Captain after they took him under their wing when he got thag TeyvU scholarship. Not even his friends could crack his exterior. Kachina came close. In all honesty, he treated her the way I treated him. A teacher encouraging his student. But still, it was a transactional relationship anyway.

But you, Lyney. You showed him a love that needed no payment. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice whenever we talked online. Even the way he writes letters change whenever you were the topic. I thought that my boy finally got softer. And that he did. There was nothing to be exchanged in your love. Nothing.

He was happy, he was content. He was fine not receiving anything because you were enough. That's the type of love I'd always wanted my boy to have. As a caretaker and a teacher, thank you."

Lyney looked at the walls, all of Kinich's pictures when he was small. All of the trophies and awards that had his name. He must've thought that on order for protection from the elder, he had to get those. His friends... he thought he needed to compensate with physical objects like money and food to keep them around when all they wanted for him was the boy.

Lyney made him feel safe enough not to compensate.

Lyney taught him love.

For Kinich, Lyney is the definition of love.

Somewhere in the Scions of the Canopy...

Kinich walked around to finish his spontaneous errand when he bumped into a woman. She dropped the manuscripts she was holding. "Apologies, ma'am. Let me help you with those," he bent over to pick them up.

Then he paused.

The author's name...

"Kinich?" she called.

...

It can't be...

Chapter Text

May 24

Marketplace, "Scions of the Canopy, Natlan

11:30 AM

Kinich stared at the woman he once called his mother. The same woman who took the brunt of his father's wrath, who used what little money she earned from her farm to fund his medicine.

The same woman who abandoned him when he was five, who left him alone in the dead of night when his little body was plagued by a fever, and never bothered to contact him for 19 years.

He... he should be angry. He should be upset.

But...

He can't bring himself to.

She was a victim too. She was hurt. She simply did what she thought was necessary to her survival. His death would've a small price to pay to make sure she was safe.

He'd always thought that. Every time his father broke a bottle on his head, or trashed his medicine, or ditched his doctors' appointments, he'd ground himself with the thought that he was simply paying a debt he owed his mother for all the times she shielded him from that pain.

She touched his cheek, eyes staring right at him – reading him. Her son. Her baby. He was alive, standing right on front of her. The last time she saw him was days ago, where he was laying still on the hospital bed, unaware that the woman he longed to see once more was there. Did he even hear her apologies?

But his eyes. Dear Celestia, his eyes. They were almost dull, devoid of the life she remembered nineteen years ago when her son was still an optimistic ball of energy.

She pulled him into an embrace, burying her face into his shoulder. Celestia, he'd gotten so tall. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He didn't reply. He let go of the bags he was holding and hugged her back. They decided to talk in a more private area.

Kinich learned that his mother fled to Inazuma that night. She didn't leave him with absolutely nothing, however, she left a huge sum of Mora hidden somewhere for his hospital bills. Unfortunately, his father found it first and gambled everything away.

While in Inazuma, she improved her writing. She spent the last nineteen years feeling the guilt creep up on her. Whenever she touched the manuscript of the story her baby boy loved so dear, the image of his ailing body the night she left haunted her mind. She only finished it last night.

She kept apologizing.

He looked down. "Please, son, say something."

...

"Everything has a price," he said, hands tugging the edge of his bandana, face unreadable. "The price for your safety was my life. An equal exchange. A life for a life, in a way.

Bringing a sick child with you would hinder your chances for survival, so you simply did what you thought was necessary to live. I'm not saying it didn't hurt me, but it's simply human nature to look for ways to survive."

He knew his worth. His life wasn't a currency, his safety wasn't a bargain. But, in a broader scope, he was bound to die anyway. His mother had a better chance of staying alive for longer, so why should she sacrifice that chance for a child that may as well venture into the Night Kingdom whenever he so pleases?

It's not justification. It's simply how he believes the world works.

But she didn't share this sentiment.

How could she? How could she even agree with the mindset that her son's life was something that can be exchanged?

"I don't need your apology," he continued. "Like I said, you did what was necessary. I can't blame you for that. I just..." he gripped the bags tighter. "I just want to know why you didn't bother to send me a message."

The woman looked at him. "I was scared," she muttered. "Scared of what your father would do to you if he saw any message from me... scared of what you'd think of me," she admitted. "And I was scared that one day I'd send a message that nobody would read because you..."

Without much thought, his body acted on its own. Kinich pulled her into an embrace. No words were shared.

But still. He can't bring himself to call her mama again, and she knows that. He was just glad they cleared up all those walls between them.

It's funny, isn't it? How family can turn into strangers with the same blood?

Kinich Huitztlan Ahau's Bucket List

33. Reunite with bio mom ✅️

Chapter Text

5-25-XXXX

Elder Leik is very entertaining. Albedo and Xiao are here. Albedo's just watching while the other two are busy finalizing their parts for the defense this Tuesday. It's a closed event so we have no choice but to watch the livestream. Elder Leik said we could crash over at his place and we'd watch it together.

He's ironing his suit for the defense and Lord Capitano is offering some of his "lucky cufflinks" for them to borrow. They're so serious with it. It's pretty cute. I've never seen Albedo give googoo eyes to anyone but then Xiao happened.

Dr. Thoma sent me a text reminding me to take my meds regularly and to stay safe. I already told him that I finally communicated my feelings and he said it was a step in the right direction. Hopefully I can maintain that.

Chapter Text

5-26-XXXX

I finally know the full title of their research. They did their final rehearsal with us as the audience. It's 'Crimes and Cash: Investigating the Relationship Between Economic Status, Education, and Criminals'.

When they got to the methodology portion, they explained that they actually went to Teyvat City Jail to conduct interviews and release questionnaires to inmates. They really did go all out on this. No wonder Xiao was so mad when Kinich almost died.

Chapter Text

May 27

Elder Leik's house, "Scions of the Canopy", Natlan

6:33 PM

The awarding ceremony was happening, and they were currently awarding the category the duo joined in. Everyone was on edge, staring intensly at the screen. Even the saurians that Elder Leik took in were invested, although they were likely just mimicking the behavior of their companion.

"And now," the announcer started, "the champion for the Correlational Studies Paired Category..."

Albedo clutched the "Go mom! Go Xiao!" banner he was holding, Wriothesley and Zephyr started hugging each other, Lady Mavuika and The Captain did the same, Lynette and Freminet exchanged glances, 'Father''s thinking expression deepened, and Lyney clasped his hands together. All while that happened, Elder Leik and Kinich's biological mother (who came to watch as well) held the snack bowls tightly. Ajaw (who was on video call as he didn't want to join the trip) held onto his sibling Ixlel's shoulder. Even he was invested.

The camera panned to Kinich and Xiao. "...Presenter number 38, Teyvat University! Representatives, Li Xiao and Kinich Huitztlan Ahau! Their school head, none other than Headmistress Nahida Kusanali! Defeating the three-year win streak of Guili Assembly University! Additionally, they will receive the best presentation and best proposal awards!"

Kinich leaned forward, his head in his hands. He looked like he was about to pass out until Xiao smacked him and dragged him to the stage, proudly waving the school banner of Teyvat University. Headmistress Nahida handed them their trophies and medals as they stood on the podium.

Back at Elder Leik's house, the elder and his biological mother threw the snack bowls high into the air and hugged each other, dragging Lady Mavuika and the Captain with them as they jumped up and down in glee. Zephyr aggressively threw Wriothesley onto the couch and screamed "That's my mom!" in triumph. Albedo sunk into his seat (well, before Wriothesley hit his thigh and made him yelp). Arlecchino simply closed her eyes with a smile, just happy that her son's lover wasn't a total idiot. Lynette and Freminet had the tamest reactions and simply clapped, while Lyney was also dragged into the hug pile.

He'd never seen the Captain so... jumpy. When he finally released, he saw his love's (rather bashful) smile on camera. He snapped a couple photos. Kinich wasn't used to all of the attention, and Lyney surely wouldn't pass on the opportunity ti witness the way his treasure's cheeks flushed a slight pink as the cameras took his photos and the crowd screamed his and Xiao's names.

Not a lot of people have seen them smile so widely before, so seeing them like that on international television was a chance that they'll never get again.

Their paper would be published in one of the most esteemed academic journals in the whole continent, as well as a huge sum of money for each of them. Mavuika proudly announced that she'll be hosting a large dinner for their family, her treat.

Lyney watched the dynamic duo exit the stage. Kinich pulled out his phone.

Incoming call from Mon trésor! Answer or reject?

He answered, beaming. "Guess what," came Kinich's voice. At first, he still sounded as deadpan as usual. But, there was an underlying tone of joy. Lyney chuckled. "Hm, let me guess, my lover is an internationally acclaimed genius?"

He looked at the television and saw the way Kinich's back quivered as he chuckled. "That's a bit of an exaggeration, no?" he replied. Lyney laughed. "Congratulations, my love."

"Masters of the Night Wind", Natlan

"Geez," Kinich closed his phone, the energy from their win dying down and leaving him calm. He sat in a corner outside the venue. "There you are," Xiao sat next to him. "Hah, looks like I didn't need to drag you out of the Night Kingdom after all," he joked, pulling his friend's headband. Kinich elbowed him. "You can die now," Xiao quipped. "In your dreams. I'm living purely to spite you."

Chapter Text

5-28-XXXX

I love cuddles, Monsieur Diary. I love them so much. Kinich gives the best. We've been watching horror movies all day. I know, I know, cuddled up while watching horror movies isn't the usual ideal movie date but it works for us :]

Chapter Text

5-29-XXXX

We just got back from the celebration dinner!

They had a karaoke machine. Wriothesley, Xiao, and Kinich were hogging it the whole night singing. It was mostly BTS and old, overly sappy love songs. Although Kinich and Xiao only agreed because Wriothesley gave them like 50 Mora per song. Xiao had 500 before he called it quitd while Kinich earned 1500 by the time he relented due to embarrassment so Wrio made him sing a whopping 30 songs. That was the first time I've ever heard him rap. His throat was slightly raspy but not as intense as mine since his hanahaki lasted for a shorter period. Zephyr DM'd me a picture of myself blushing like a tomato while watching Kinich sing so I doubt he'll let me live that down.

The food was absolutely delicious! Surprisingly low-calorie too despite being so packed with flavor. The ingredients were sourced locally. Lady Mavuika is a big deal in Natlan so they gladly gave her the freshest produce available. My personal favorite was the grilled fish. For the first time since junior high, I didn't count the calories I was eating. I guess this was my very first cheat day? Either way, I should text this to dr. Thoma and dr. Mizuki.

Speaking of, I bumped into dr. Thoma yesterday while Lynette and I were walking around Chuwen Fair! We were looking for places to buy gifts when we saw them. He and his husband (the head of the Kamisato Clan) were also looking for gifts to get Ayaka back at home. She was taking summer classes and was Lynette's classmate at the art school.

Anyway, Kinich is fast asleep right now. The second he got out of the shower and landed on the bed he was knocked out cold. As he always says, sleep early and rise early.

Freminet and I are playing minecraft right now. He went to the bathroom so I took that chance to write. Kinich and I have a shared room in the base. Maybe I should decorate it a little? Hehe

Chapter Text

5-30-XXXX

He's streaming again. He got a lot of donations because he was gone for a while and a lot of his viewers got worried. He was playing mimic on roblox with a few friends. I didn't understand much of his and his friends' conversation since they communicated in Natlanese but one of them said something that made him look at me and then blush. Cute haha.

He ended stream and logged into minecraft to play with me (I asked him to). I wanted to prank him by putting a lot of pink in his side of the base (which was pretty monochrome). He said "not pink enough" and proceeded to spend like 30 minutes redecorating so now his side of the base is fully pink.

His decor made my side look so boring! Ugh!

Chapter Text

5-31-XXXX

He helped me set up my first gaming livestream and secretly told his chat to come watch me but pretend he never said anything. How do I know this? Navia's his moderator and she told me everything.

He helped me redecorate my base since he, Mualani, Chasca, and Aether were farming last night and got enough materials for a full-blown makeover. He still insists on keeping his room pink. He placed some white decor because mine was red and black. Chat said we matched. He didn't deny it, just hummed and continued gathering. Haha cute

Chapter Text

6-1-XXXX

It's MY month.

Anyway, someone called "twinkle toe tickler" added me on Akasha and it was, I shit you not, Mualani's dump account. Why did she need to do that? I have no idea. She did send me a ZIP folder. I'll open it later.

We're going to the Scions again today and then making a quick stop at the Masters of the Night-Wind to get Kinich's prize money and then our last stop for today is Iansan's main branch for her fitness club in the Collective of Plenty

Chapter Text

June 1

"Scions of the Canopy", Natlan

5:30 PM

Elder Leik invited them for dinner so they went back to the tribe to help him prepare. The Captain, Freminet, Lyney, and Kinich went with him outside to cook the meat while the ladies made dessert.

"Alright, a few more minutes and the stew'll be ready. You youngsters can run around and do whatever you want," the elder wiped sweat off of his forehead.

Lyney felt someone tug his shirt, and Kinich was looking away. He never initates contact, so it must be important. "I want to show you something," he says barely above a whisper, hand tucked inside his jacket pocket. He looks at Freminet who was happily listening to Elder Leik talk about Natlanese wildlife. The Captain glanced at them and flashed Kinich two quick thumbs up. Lyney laughed when Kinich facepalmed and followed him.

He was led to a cliff overlooking the land. The sunset peeked through the vast trees that served as the namesake of their tribe. Beautiful was an understatement. Ethereal was putting it lightly. To say it rivaled Celestia itself barely even did it justice.

Kinich sat down, legs dangling over the edge. "Ever since Mavuika and Thrain announced the trip here, I've always wanted to show you this cliff. I loved coming here to calm my mind," he mused. "The wind here is amazing and the view's perfect. Do you like it?" he turned to Lyney, patting a place next to him.

"Since when were you so romantic?" he teased, taking a seat. Now that he thinks about it, his eyes perfectly captured the scene – no – they were far more breathtaking. It was as if Celestia took the very scene in front of him and captured it into his eyes.

His bandana flew freely in the wind as they watched the Scions below them fly in the same manner. His hair mimicked the trees dancing along the evening breeze, and his skin practically glowed under the soft light of the setting sun.

Beautiful.

"It's the light novels getting to me, I guess," Kinich jokes in response. He fished something out of his pocket. "Actually, I do have a reason for bringing you here."

He brings out a ring. "Xilonen introduced me to the concept of promise rings. At first, the idea of swearing an oath so early into a relationship felt so rash to me. It wasn't an engagement ring, so I figured that it was kind of pointless. Promise is a strong word, after all. But then you came into my life. I can't promise you marriage. Not because I don't want a future with you, but because I don't know if I have enough time. However, I can promise to give you my devotion. No matter what, for as long as I live, you'll be the only one in my eyes. I will love you. For as long as the Sacred Flame burns, my heart will beat for you alone. That is, if you can promise me the same. If..  if you can promise me to live. So... if I may..." he took Lyney's hand, eyes focused on them. Soft, delicate, slightly callused from stunts. Scarred from nights when Lyney felt like he should disappear. In Kinich's eyes, perfect.

The magician doesn't reply. He holds Kinich's hand and pulls him into a kiss, the sun setting into the vast canopy below, making them feel like they were the only ones to exist in the universe. Kinich slips the ring onto Lyney's finger, bringing his hand up to his lips and planting a soft, feather-light kiss onto his knuckles.

The ring was a carefully crafted piece of jewelry. Its design looked like waves, yet also looked like a blaze. Rubies lined the gaps, swimming across seas and dancing through flames. The gemstone of passion, of love. A vibrant red that Lyney adored.

They returned, hand-in-hand. Mavuika whistled at the rings shining under the starlit sky, the Captain gave Kinich another thumbs up as soon as he sat down, and 'Father' raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on it.

Back at the hotel, Lyney decided to open the ZIP folder Mualani sent him. It was titled "Lyneyservice". When he opened it, all of the images were of Kinich either shirtless or wearing loose, open clothing. A majority of the images were taken from sports event (specifically surfing), while others were of him in his ballroom dancing costume. Y'know, the one that had a very, very open chest area. He'd been staring for a few seconds too long and closed the folder before anyone could catch him lacking.

-📩-

[Akasha] Private Message

twinkle toe tickler

Me: "UMOJA" MUALANI

Me: I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE

Me: ANSWER ME

Me: WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE

Me: WHERE DID YOU GET THESE

Me: ?!?!?!?!?!

Me: thanks tho

twinkle toe tickler: You're welcome twin

Me: OH SO NOW YOU'RE REPLYING

Chapter Text

6-2-XXXX

Father wants to talk. Monsieur, be honest, am I cooked?

Chapter Text

6-3-XXXX

Father mistook the promise ring as an engagement ring and she pulled me and Kinich aside yesterday to give her blessing and some advice LMFAO.

She also briefly mentioned the hickeys and pre-marital freaky time but there were more on Kinich than on me (oops...) so most of the shade was directed at me.

We're cuddled up in bed watching the live-action Beauty and the Beast right now and he's crying

Chapter Text

6-4-XXXX

We're headed back to Teyvat City in three days. We took a stroll around the Children of Echoes to do some shopping. Kinich showed me the jewler where he got the promise rings from. I guess he forgot to mention that they were custom made. His senior, Xilonen, had connections to this place so he was able to order them ahead of time. He also asked for a rush order of a little necklace to give to Kachina as a gift for winning the tournament and for earning her red belt.

So he really was serious about everything.

Anyway, I bought some stuff for the Tabletop Troupe (mostly some Natlan themed dice since it was the only theme we were missing and some stones to use as props). Furina and Navia were getting stones, Clorinde was getting a new notebook for lore purposes, while Aether and Lumine were getting new dice sets.

Father nearly made a merchant faint when she dropped three SACKS of Mora and ordered some gems to give the orphans back at home.

Chapter Text

6-5-XXXX

I saw a cute cat collar with baby saurian designs and I couldn't resist the urge to buy it for my daughter💔

I also got her new toys. Lady Mavuika and I walked around and had a bit of a heart-to-heart. She didn't take her sunglasses off at all. I don't know if it's an emotional response or if it's because of the sun.

Chapter Text

6-5-XXXX

I know I already wrote today but I managed to earn a sizable amount of views and donations today :] Guess what? Kinich didn't have to tell people to watch me this time!

I miss doing shows, so seeing people want to tune in to my streams feels nice.

Oh and someone named "Patrick Star" DM'd me on Adventurer's Handbook and leaked that Kinich wrote me a song. Idk who they were but they were mutuals with Clorinde so I assume it was Wriothesley's dump. I looked at the sheet music, and I forgot to mention this but back when I was staying at his house, he was playing a few tunes on the piano. Same notes. So he was discreetly trying to serenade me, eh? Tricky tricky! I'll have to tease him about this

Chapter Text

6-6-XXXX

Kinich might be coming down with a fever so Elder Leik dropped some soup over. Kinich set a bowl aside for me but I told him I wasn't hungry so he should eat it instead because he needs it more.

Anyway, we're headed back to the city tomorrow. As soon as I get back, I should take notes on some show techniques I picked up from street performers here. Maybe I can host a magic show here soon?

Chapter Text

6-7-XXXX

Mualani sent me another ZIP folder of Kinich's pictures where is she getting these

Chapter Text

6-8-XXXX

Well, now I'M getting the fever :[

Kinich recovered pretty quickly. Mualani told me that Ororon dragged them both to his grandma's house to practice reading their fate on front of her and she said her fate was to "lure a dove into the sea of her heart". She said Kinich, Ororon and Ororon's grandma looked kind of tense after his fate was read so I don't really know how to feel about that

Chapter Text

6-9-XXXX

I feel a lot better now!

Also, Lady Mavuika dropped by earlier. She and Lord Capitano are getting married this November and since Father is the Captain's junior, she'd have a major role. I guess Father'll be helping out with the planning.

Chapter Text

June 10

Turnfire Street, "Scions of the Canopy", Municipality of Natlan, Teyvat

7:30 AM

"Your health is deteriotating at an alarming rate."

"You're going to die soon."

"You likely won't make it past 25."

Again and again.

All the same stuff. He'd heard it over and over and over again ever since he was five. Now, after hearing his fate come right out of Granny Itztli's mouth, it suddenly felt so... near.

Kinich clutched his bucket list. Half of the entries were scribbled out. He won't live long enough to see his graduation, to start a business.

His phone buzzed with a message from Lyney. He guessed that Mualani told him that he wasn't feeling well so he's been sending him images and videos of Namjoon being stupid.

...

He won't live long enough go get married. To marry him.

And now, he'll drag Lyney down with him.

Kinich knows that in Lyney's life, he's just a fleeting memory. Their time is brief, but for him, it's everything. Lyney, the beautifully flawed boy who showed him what it means to live. He would've wanted Lyney to move on, to find another person to love. But no. When Kinich dies, he'll be forced to follow.

A horrible price. It's not even a deal. It's just the world deciding that Kinich should burden one more person.

He wouldn't have minded dying first, because at least he'd be in love forever, and Lyney can love again. But now, he'll strip Lyney of that chance.

...

Maybe Lyney should've just let him die from his hanahaki that day. Maybe, if he had died while Lyney was upset with him, the disease would leave him alone because the anger would've overpowered the love.

But...

...

Thinking is hard.

Chapter Text

6-11-XXXX

So, Father had a meeting today and the older kids at the orphanage had to attend cram school for their college entrance exams, right? Naturally, as the heir, it's my job to look after them. So, I decided to drag Kinich along.

All the kids were all over him. It was so cute, honestly. At first they were a little skeptical of him but they opened up pretty quickly. He's pretty gentlr with kids, although given how he treats Kachina, I should've expected it.

They kept asking him if he was going to be their new brother-in-law (and eventually their new Maman when Father retires as the director) and some of them ran to announce that I was engaged. It was too chaotic to write, but just know that the kids tied him to a chair and began to interrogate him.

After clearing it all up, he made us lunch, and the little ones begged him to read them a story for nap time.

I hope, maybe by some miracle, we can do this again. Just with our own child, in our own home, with my last name as his.

Chapter Text

6-12-XXXX

Lynette gave me six horror movie tapes from Mualani. I know what to do with Kinich tonight 😈

Chapter Text

6-13-XXXX

It's Friday tye 13th. My misfortune? Accidentally spilling piping hot coffee on Kinich in public

Chapter Text

6-14-XXXX

He's in the hospital because of a stomacheache(/--)/ I knew I shouldn't have dragged him to the food court

Chapter Text

June 14

Room 455, Bubu Hospital

6:30 PM

Mavuika and Thrain were chatting with a doctor. "I don't understand," she mumbled. "He usually handles food like that."

Kinich might've ate something that made his stomach upset, which was strange since he never gets stomacheaches. He threw up 5 times and passed out before he was taken to the hospital by some of his friends. Mavuika and Thrain were notified immediately.

The doctor ushered them to a more private area. "I know you've probably heard this a million times, but it could be a sign that his immune system is weakening pretty quickly. I'd say you better prepare for more frequent fevers. Are you still sure you don't want to put him in hospice or proceed with euthanasia?"

Mavuika pursed her lips. Thrain cleared his throat. "He'd made it clear to us that he wants to go freely, doctor."

The doctor nodded. "I understand. It's tough to live a limited life, after all," they placed a hand on Mavuika's shoulder.

She placed a hand over her heart as the doctor left to run a few more tests. She's one of, if not the most, decorated women in all of Teyvat. She'd fought and won in countless Pilgrimages, trained more soldiers than any other general, and knew battle like the back of her hand. She'd never once lost those battles. So how come she was so powerless now? How come she can't save him?

She'd already lost Hine to this battle with life, and soon enough she'd lose Kinich.

Chapter Text

6-15-XXXX

We're going to surprise Father later with some barbeque for father's day!

In the meantime, I'm at the hospital with Kinich. He called Lord Capitano "dad" for the first time and he cried. I never really realized how big ofna softie the Captain actually is. It's kind of crazy how the two most feared combatants in Teyvat are actually pretty sweet people. The same can be said for their adoptive son, who is actually a really gentle person once you get to know him.

Or it could just be boyfriend privilege. Who knows lmao.

Chapter Text

6-16-XXXX

I don't know why but I randomly had a gut feeling to text Kinich.

Chapter Text

June 16

Hotel Bouffes'dete

2:30 AM

Lyney's eyes lit up when Kinich replied.

"What's wrong?" his message read. Lyney replied with a question, asking him why he was awake. Another reply came and Kinich simply said that a nurse was currently with him feeding him some stuff that tasted disgusting. Lyney assumes it was Kinich's poor attempt at making medicine funny.

Lyney lied, saying he had a nightmare and wanted to talk about it.

What was making him so worried?

Chapter Text

6-17-XXXX

Kinich got discharged today and I went to their place to snuggle (obviously) but when I got there, Ajaw told me to follow him and that Kinich was resting.

Well, I did end up following. Mostly because Ajaw would've forced me to anyway.

We went on a bit of a stroll and we made it to this graveyard at the edge of town. He pointed to a hill and told me that three years ago, Kinich had already bought a grave up there. He said that he picked that spot in particular because it had a great view of the sunset and it reminded him of Natlan's cliffs.

I don't know why Ajaw told me.