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English
Series:
Part 1 of Just Plague AU
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Published:
2025-10-18
Updated:
2025-11-14
Words:
21,254
Chapters:
10/?
Comments:
425
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862
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Sometimes it Really is Just Plague

Summary:

Everyone in Oakhurst is magical. (Except for Avid)
No one in Oakhurst is a vampire.
In fact, Oakhurst doesn't really have a history with vampires.
Of course, everyone is pretending that vampires and magic isn't real so they aren't found out for being magic.
But as everyone slowly figures out what everyone is, shenanigans, and angst, ensues.
Avid, of course, remains oblivious.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Faulty Processors

Summary:

4 idiots in the woods learn that they are all inhuman.
Scott befriends a wolf.
Shelby meets a fae.
Cleo loses a hand (don't worry, she gets better)
And Legundo reboots.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Legs was done with Avid.

The maniac was running around yapping about vampires all day, waving a wooden stake around without a care for who he hits, reeking of garlic 24/7, and basically trying to force silver onto Ren at one point, who backed away while politely declining.

Legs was on the edge of murdering the man

(Do no harm)

(Do no harm)

Now, Legs had seen many things in his existence. War, battle, blood, the insides of both man and machine alike, but never magic creatures of the night like the ones Avid believed in.

Everything had a logical explanation.

(Except for why needless violence is so common)

There was nothing science couldn't not conceptualize.

(Except for why humans like to murder each other)

Yet Avid was making a mockery of it all!

(Do no harm)

It was infuriating!

And now here he was, accusing another town member of murdering a third town member with no evidence?? This guy needed to have a stern talking to.

"I'm telling you guys, Shelby's gone missing and Scott's the last one seen with her! Even if he isn't a vampire, which he probably is, it's still suspicious! We need to find them!" Avid was currently spouting, as Legs clutched a fist.

(Do no harm)

"How about this, I'll go looking for Shelby!" Scott replied.

"That sounds reasonable to me," Legs replied, trying not to sound as fed up as he was.

"But what if he is just trying to finish her off? Or run away?"

"Then I'll go with him," he said with gritted teeth.

"But in a one v one-"

"I really doubt that Scott could overpower me," he said, deliberately leaving out why. He really didn't want to be judged, and these strangers he met 3 days ago didn't really need to know.

"But-"

"Fine!" He said, a little louder than he meant, "Cleo will come with us!"

He turned to the farmer in question, who nodded their head. The gathered crowd showed their approval.

Avid, clearly sensing that the town had overruled his concerns, backed down, "fine, but if anyone does or says anything suspicious, let me know."

Legundo let out a sigh of relief, finally he could get away from the crazy man, calm down, go find Shelby who was almost certainly very much alive, show Avid how he was wrong and then have a stern talking to with him about accusing random town members of murder with no evidence.

The moon shone over the town of Oakhurst, the eclipse seeming to inflate Avid's fear and paranoia.

The night was dark, though that was to be expected. It was, well, night, after all. And they were all certainly far from any major cities so there was no lightning. Though the darkness did seem to put some of the townspeople on edge.

Certainly not Cleo though. The farmer moved through the night as thought they made for it, with such grace and complete lack of fear that Legs was surprised Avid hadn't accused them of being a vampire yet. She put to shame the supposed "suspiciously inhuman confidence in the dark" that Scott apparently had, according to Avid.

Seriously, Scott and Legs seemed to be equally unafraid of the night. Both not fleeing in terror at every noise, yet having their guard up in case a wolf or zombie attacked them from nowhere. Cleo was moving as though nothing could hurt them and they knew it.

Absolute insanity.

The tree line loomed closer, and the trio set off into the woods in the direction Scott had last seen Shelby go in.

The path was hard to follow in the dark, and everyone seemed hesitant about lighting a torch that would assuredly attract things towards them, though Legs did have the ulterior motive of not wanting to burn his artificial skin and reveal the cogwork mechanisms beneath, so they all stumbled through the night.

The woods were thick and quiet, not even crickets broke up the noise, as though no thing, either living or undead, existed in the trees. The group tried to move quietly, but in the silent stillness of the forest, they stood out like a sore thumb.

The darkness was so thick, it swallowed the group up. Legs could only follow Scott by following the sound of his feet.

It was only when her shout rang across the night did Legs realize that Cleo had got separated from the group.

Chasing the noise of 2 things locked in combat through the woods, he and Scott eventually stumbled onto a clearing where the farmer was engaged in a struggle with a huge wolf.

It was massive, it's head reaching the shoulder of a fully grown man, with claws as sharp as scalpels and numerous, glistening teeth as long and as a combat knife. It's build was powerful, with muscles that told him this wolf was not hurting on the food front and glossy fur the color of fields trampled by an army of feet. It's blue eyes gleamed in the light of the full moon.

Legs hurried over to help, drawing his sword, but the wolf clamped down on Cleo's hand and tugged, ripping it clean off.

He bolted over to the wolf, positioning himself to wrench the hand out of its mouth, when piercing whistle unlike anything he had heard from either human or machine, which was saying something, cleaved the air.

He turned at the weird noise, surprised to see that Scott had made it.

Scott proceeded to make a bunch of strange clicking sounds, the wolf replying with low growls. He crossed his arms, looking like a particularly stern parent, as he continued with the odd clinking and sharp whistles. In that moment, the big wolf looked like a small dog caught chewing on something it shouldn't.

It dropped Cleo's hand and stalked slowly over to Scott. Legs tensed up, but the wolf just dropped on the ground next to the man, rolling over as Scott proceeded to give it belly rubs.

Sorry, what? Scott was giving a wild animal… pets?

Legundo turned to Cleo, who had calmly pulled out some knitting supplies from who knows where and was stitching their hand back on their arm.

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*A n E r r o r H a s B e e n D e t e c t e d*

 

*P r i m a r y L o g i c M a t r i x H a s S t o p p e d R e s p o n d i n g*

 

~R e b o o t i n g S y s t e m s~

 

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~R e b o o t C o m p l e t e~

 

Legs woke up about 60 seconds later, according to his internal clock, to the experience of being shooken back and forth by Shelby.

"Ah!" He shouted, jumping back from the startle.

"Oh, thank goodness, you're ok! I found these 2 in the clearing freaking out about you freezing up," Shelby said, releasing him from her grip and taking a few steps back.

He looked around the clearing. Cleo had fully stitched up their hand, Scott was no longer petting the wolf but it was staying by his side, and Shelby's eyes were glowing.

"All right, I'm going to need an explanation," he said.

"Ok," Cleo said, "you first. What was with your freezing up there?"

Oh, he should've expected this.

"I have narcolepsy!" He lied.

Cleo made a face.

"He said a big word, seems legit!" Shelby said, turning to the others.

"Wait, how does that explain it?" Cleo asked.

"Because… it's narcolepsy? You know, the sleeping disorder were you just kinda pass out randomly…?"

Cleo had a look of realization, "Oh! I thought that it meant, like, you were attracted to… never mind…"

Legs raised an eyebrow but carried on, "ok… are you going to explain how you just sewed your hand back on?"

"Well, you're a doctor, you do stitching all the time, yes?"

"But that's not how that-"

"Anyways!" Cleo interrupted, "Scott, are you going to explain the wolf?"

"I train dogs for a living."

Was everyone here lying? He guessed he couldn't judge, but still.

"Shelby…?" He intoned.

"Well, I'm not going to lie. I'm of the mothfolk," they said.

Scott gaped, Cleo raised an eyebrow and Legs sat there confused.

"Look," Shelby started, "I know you're going to say that mothman isn't real and neither is bigfoot-"

"I thought the mothfolk were all gone!" Scott interrupted.

Shelby spun on their heal, "you-you know of us? You know we're real?"

"I mean, yeah, everyone who knows anything about magic knows of cryptids, and how they are extinct with every modern sighting of them unconfirmed!"

Shelby clapped her hands together, "and that's why I'm looking for bigfoot! I'm here, I'm alive, and I know the mothfolk aren't gone! So I'm going to prove that the other cryptids aren't gone either!"

"W-w-wait waitwaitwaitwait, did you mention magic, Scott?" Legundo asked.

Scott sighed, "yes… I'm a faunas, a type of fae, I just don't really yap about it."

Cleo raised her eyebrow even higher. Legs just gaped.

Shelby lit up, "I've never met a fairy before!"

"Fae, fairies are a type of fae consisting of vexes and allays," Scott corrected.

"Still! I've never met a fae! And my roommate has been one the whole time!"

"I thought faunas had antlers," Cleo spoke up, "like, isn't that what you're known for? Being deer people?"

"I… lost mine," his voice was quiet and contained an air of melancholy that made everyone decide not to push further.

"Well… that explains the wolf… faunas can speak animal… I guess I should make up for my own terrible lie," Cleo said, "I'm actually a zombie."

"…and how does that work?" Scott asked.

"Well you see, when the body decays, the soul leaves it, so if a decayed corpse is reanimated it becomes a mindless shell, but if a corpse is reanimated before that can happen, then the zombie in question would keep their mind."

"Uh…" Legs didn't know what- What was he even-? How is this-?, "I thought zombies were just beings with an illness…" was all he could say…

"No doc," Scott said quietly, "zombies are reanimated corpses. Magic is real."

Real.

Magic is r25va!÷:t3□<6:w3c4○□4■a~|=/"g÷2o#oj●|se7%sw*46%/2o901010000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01100101 0̶̗̎͆̕1̴̖̻͔̎1̶̱̟̚1̴̭͊͌̕0̸̭̙̍͌͑0̴̙̋̀1̴̞͎̒1̶͖̍ ̴͎̪̄0̴̾̈̂ͅ1̷͍̳̏́͑1̷͙̪̙͑1̸͇͇̄̋͜0̸̛̱0̴̩͙̔͛̏1̵̹̹͚̄1̶̛̮̰͂̉ ̵̜̦̞͐̚0̴͉͙̮̉1̵̞͇̦̎͌1̷͇̺͍́͛̀0̵͓̱͓̌͆̏1̴̱͌0̶̙̈͊͜͝0̵̩̭͆͊̏1̶̭͋ ̸͎͈̆0̸̼͖̀1̷͓̜͔̾̆͌1̵͎̆͐0̷̯̅̀͜1̶̛̮̼̫̑1̷̫͖͆̐̂1̴͖̬̣̒0̷̬͍͂̐̔ ̵̭̻̙́͊͒0̷̤͉͊͗1̷̘̯̻̀̍͊1̵̮͍͇̔0̴̱̙͖̌0̸̯͔̄͌ͅ1̴̦̾́1̷͇͒̈́1̷̨̫̃͝ ̸͎͘͠0̴̘̣̼͑͝0̸̘̦̕͝͠1̷̨̛̿̓0̸̡̗̅1̷͎̈́̓1̸͛ͅ1̶̪̌̔0̶̗̌ ̷͖̫̣̾0̴̻͈̊0̷̗̆1̵̙̮̲̀͘0̸̭̃̋̐1̴͓̈1̴̢͋͒̽1̷̠̻̝͋̔̆0̶̢̟͘ ̶̰̦̇0̴͖̄̿̃0̸̧̓̑1̵̣̀̕0̵̪̎1̶̫̦̓1̴̛͍̤̇1̸̡̡͎͆0̴̻̘͌̾̚ ̸̭̪̤̑͑̋0̸͉͙̮͋0̸̧̩͋͝1̵̨̳̈̌͛0̴̰͛͛͝0̵͓͚̾̃0̴̢̦̩͊̈́͂0̴̠̯̞́͑̕0̶̞̼͗̾ ̴̨̯̹͐0̴̥̥̺̐̒͝1̵͎̍̌̔1̶̙̉͛1̴͚̯̪͌̍0̶̺̍0̵̣̮͑̓1̵̺͌1̵̟͌̌ ̷̦͋0̷̛͖͖̦̳̲̯̲̻́̈́͐̚1̵͈͔͖͔̩̫̘͌̈́̒̈́͊͋͒̆͜1̸̺͎͖͉̥̀̎͐̒́0̷̬̖̲̭͘1̴̳͖̮̟̝̪͇̤̾͆ͅ0̷̼̦̬͌̉̓̃0̶̧͚̞͔̱̰͇̠̀̃́̍̂̌̇͌̚0̵̖̦̹̟̺̍̇͘ ̶̡̢̖͙̼̯̻̺͊̌̎̀͛̓̔̀͜0̴̨̝͍̠̃͗̀͊̓̈́1̸̨̧̡̝͔̬͙̫̥͑̍̍̌̔͛́̌1̷̛͚͔̖̠̂̃̕͝1̴̮̘̖͉̩̦̜̃̑̂̂̕͜͝0̸̢͈̜͇̤̮̊̒1̷̨̺̬͔̰͉͙͚̻̇̆̓̕0̴̗̝̙̯̖͆͠͝1̶͈̯͇̲̻̿͛̅͌͊̀̎͑̍ͅ ̴̢̉̑̍̇́̾͆̈0̷̙͋̉̀̏̈́1̵̣̼̦̂̓1̴͈͓͂̆́̊̈͝1̷̛͓̀̋̑̏̀̄̈́͜0̸̡̻͙͉͕̱͋̋1̸̹̳̳̳̟̳̎́͘0̶͉̣̩̼͙̖̞̾̌̉̔̓̎̀̿̕0̴̳̹͈͚͕͆͂̈̊̈́ ̵͓͂̔0̴̨̹̻̖̗̣̉͜͜1̸̡̨̞̥͚̺͕̠͖͐̽͐̓͆̎̈́͘1̵̨̻͊̇̓̀͋͜1̶̧̜͓̳̥̦̇̔̑̀͗̓͂̂͘ͅ0̸̼͙͈̦̯̓͗̓̈́̾̄̂1̶̺͂̈0̶͕̎̾0̴̞͕̞̩̖̗͔͈̀̽̔̀̽̃̚̚͠ͅ ̷̡̛̟̌́̇̄̍͠0̵̡̆̉̊͌̒̾͋̚1̴͚̰͗̂̈́̊͂́͋͒1̵̛̗͈̭̭͌̐̇̀̒̕0̸̣̰͎̙̠͈̾1̸̬͔̙̼̭̞͖̇͘0̴̝̳͇̖̓̏̈̈̕0̸͔̤̪̽̿̈́̀͠1̸̮̣̭̾̒̐͐̓̕͜͝ ̶̺̠͕͚͓̉͊̃̍͛̆̆̒̈́0̴̲̫̯̤͍̺͓̯͒̽̓͋1̵̘̟̘̙̰̗͆̀̀̿̚͜1̷̫͉̆̅̒͜0̶͈̯̰̈͋͌̍̋̀̊1̵͈͈̤̳̈́̊̈́́͘1̵̩͙̗̗́͊̅̈1̵̝̥̙̒̏͊̓͐0̴͎͕͓̯̰̝̖̲̉̀̐ ̵̢̡̧̝͕̳̬̪͔̄̆̃͝0̷̻̩͈͕͓͚̱̘͎̓1̶̲̺͍͉̺̘̋̐ͅ1̷̱̺͍̖̌̃̓̋0̶̡̥̮̪̞̈̈́0̶̳̯̎͘1̴͓̼͕̺̹͍̤̈́̊̄̈́̿̚͝͝͠1̶͙̗̙̏̀̉̄̈͂̾̃͝1̷̡̝̮͕͉͕̽̆͗̽͊̀̌͘ ̷̢̞̑̂̊̓̓͗͐̄̕0̵̡͑͐̾0̵͉̬͑̑̄̾͝1̷̮̦̫̤̓ͅ0̷͖̋̊̾͋̋͘͝0̶̗̰͉̃̇0̶͙͈̬͒̈́͆͑͑͌̂͂0̸̨̯̏̑͊͒͜0̵̯̼̼̦̺̱̩̜̈́͒̾̅ ̴͍̲̲̩̍͆0̷̡͎̪͎̭̘̘̑͊̓́͠1̶̢̣̙͔̍̋̏̐̾̔͋1̷̢̖̪̥̟͗̄̾̒͗́͒0̶͚̌̀̄̎͝0̸̢̧͕̦͈̗̗̾͐̕͠1̴̧̲̗̼̻̭̣͎͗͆̍͂̇0̸̡͔̣̳̔0̷̜̔̽̇̈́̇̋ ̶̟̻̞̝͉̮̭͍̽̈́͝ͅ0̵̢̖̱̯̻͖͈̦̈́̍̒̀̓͝1̷̠̻̦͍͖͓̀̓̔̄̿͠1̸̱͔̝̃̓͐̚ͅ0̸̱͔̣̓̍̈́̍̈1̸̨̦̺͎̯̲̈́1̸͎͙̗͑̽̑͐̉1̴̜̜̮̓̍̀̓͆̎1̵̛̩͎̑̔̓̓̆͊͝ ̷̮͖̦̞̺̎̔͛͘͝ͅ0̷̗̗̖̟͈̼̋̽͊́̌̀͜1̴͈̗̯͚̗̥̃͒1̶̤̞͔̾1̸̣̰̣̝͓̦̺̘̹̋̏̽̀̈́0̸̺̞͍̺͑̊̔̂1̴̛̳̝̱͎̊̊̏̃̽̋̚1̵̧̢̜̉͜ͅ1̶̟͚̾̑̋ ̷͖̣̰̖̪̺̎0̵̱̖̊̏̃̆̋͗1̵̢̥̮͓̻̀͌̂1̴̤̲͓̰̮͂͑͆̏̅͑͜͜0̴̪̙̪͇͍͛̄́1̵̪̯͔͉̠̯͇̲̙̓̇̎̈́͐̈́̓1̴͎̙̺̦̣͈͕̜͙̎̑̒͆1̶͈͖̑̄̽̓͋̃̅̀ͅ0̸̝̞̻̘͈̘̤̩̓̔̇̒̃̈́͌͝ ̷̯̩̀͒̿

 

*A n E r r o r H a s B e e n D e t e c t e d*

 

*P r i m a r y L o g i c M a t r i x H a s S t o p p e d R e s p o n d i n g*

 

~R e b o o t i n g S y s t e m s~

 

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~R e b o o t C o m p l e t e~

 

It had been a long time since he had to reboot twice in a day. Not since the war, when replacement parts were scarce and his calibrater had started to wear down, becoming shotty and causing his movements to stop being human and start looking mechanical. He had to manually reboot multiple times a day as he and the only other cogwork lancer held each other together with spare parts scavenged from the corpses of other fallen cogwork lancers. That was also around the time they were running out of oil, and the only replacement lubricant for his gears was… well... he'd wrather not think of that…

What was he doing, thinking of the war? He shuts down for 30 seconds and suddenly he's getting all strung up about the past again.

Scott was staring at him with suspicion, "so… now that we all revealed our secret inhuman nature, it's time for you to reveal yours, doc, because from what I know of narcolepsy, it doesn't work like that."

"Yeah," Cleo said, arms crossed, "also, I don't think that the university in the capital would teach a person that randomly passes out to do surgery. Maybe some different universities, but not the university in the capital, and that's where you claimed to get your degree from."

"Plus, your sleep schedule is out of whack. I don't think I've seen you head to bed once since you got here," Shelby added.

Legs sighed, "I am, what I think you would call, an automaton," he said, finding a spot on his arm to peel back the artificial skin, revealing the copper frame beneath.

"Ooh, I've heard of this before! The government secretly created you in an attempt to make spies to help fight against the aliens and their illuminati allies, right?"

Everyone stared at Shelby and the insane conspiracy theory she just dropped.

"…No, I was made by the ancient civilization. A group of archeologists stumbled upon the ruins of my old maintenance facility and accidentally woke me and my fellows up. The military picked us up soon after."

"So that they could train you to fight against the illuminati and the lizard folk! M wrote a book on it all! The SCP foundation is hiding the anomalies and the military is trying to stop the fallout of the eternal war between vampires and werewolves!"

Legs just dropped his head, shaking it back and forth.

"So that's why I felt off about you!" Scott suddenly exclaimed, a look of realization on his face, "you're made of metal!"

Legs looked at Scott inquisitively, setting his covering back in place.

"Oh, sorry, fae get burned by most metals as it constricts our magic strangely. You can always tell when it's near because of how you seem to internally fold in on yourself. I always just assumed you carried metal medical equipment on you."

Ah, that… well it didn't make sense but it kinda explained it.

Cleo exhaled, "so, we go back to town, tell everyone, especially Avid, nothing, and pretend like this all didn't happen, yes?"

"Yep," Legs replied.

"Absolutely."

"If you say so."

They all stared at each other.

"…so, we go back to town?" Shelby asked.

"You 3 go. I need to stay with this wolf," Scott waved them off.

Cleo crossed her arms, "and when Avid starts yelling and accusing us of murdering you?"

"Say that I'm staying to collect wood."

"Ok!" Shelby said, leading Cleo and Legs through the forest.

It was so much different. Shelby apparently had night vision, and Cleo couldn't be harmed by her fellow undead, so he didn't really need to worry. Plus, he could use his flashlight now, sense the others knew of his nature.

The trees were still thick, though the light pierced through their looming trunks, illuminating the way.

Yet still, something played on his mind.

"So, there's one thing I need to ask."

"Ask way!" Shelby said.

"Are vampires real?"

"Yes," Cleo said.

So Avid is…

 

*A n E r r o r H a s B e e n D e t e c t e d*

 

*P r i m a r y L o g i c M a t r i x H a s S t o p p e d R e s p o n d i n g*

 

~R e b o o t i n g S y s t e m s~

 

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* * *

* * * *

* * * * *

 

~R e b o o t C o m p l e t e~

 

Something had to be wrong with his processor.

He came to 20 seconds later, his light having flickered off.

"Are you ok?" Shelby asked.

"Yeah, just a simple reboot. Might need to look into my processors, thought."

"Good, good"

They continued through the woods, Legs not using his light once the trees started thinning.

Far out, the walls of Oakhurst reached towards the deep red eclipse, the splintered rotting things slowly falling to decay as time moved on from the days when they had constant upkeep.

They were about to enter town when Shelby piped up

"wait Cleo, when Legs said he had narcolepsy, did you think he meant necrophilia?"

Cleo buried their head in their hands.

 

*A n E r r o r H a s B e e n D e t e c t e d*

 

*P e r s o n a l i t y M a t r i x H a s S t o p p e d R e s p o n d i n g*

 

~R e b o o t i n g S y s t e m s~

Notes:

Scott is obviously hiding parts of his backstory, it's traumatic, he doesn't want to talk about it.
Legs didn't learn how the cogwork lancers worked until he was tooken in by the modern military, and the modern military doesn't know anything of magic, so he doesn't know anything of it either and thinks himself purely mechanical, not knowing that there are magical components in him.
His memories from ancient times are slightly fuzzy, but not completely gone.
Cogwork lancers were made by the ancient civilization for war, but mostly for ferrying supplies and defending civilians, combat protocols being used as a last resort, while when the modern military got their hands on them, they put them on the front lines.
The reason that the ancients held the lancers back is because they created them to dislike commiting violence so they didn't turn into evil killing machines, but they didn't want to traumatize the lancers. The modern military didn't know this, saw war machines, and put them on the front lines.
Fae is a bit of an umbrella term, so is cryptid.
If you think that the wolf if weird, (:
My first ever crackfic, and I'm already mentioning necrophilia.