Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Geoff’s phone buzzed in his pocket. His eyes flicked to Jack but the other man didn’t look up.

He discreetly read the message under the table and put his phone away.

“Geoff?” Jack asked. Geoff schooled the most neutral expression he could onto his face. “What is it?”

“Burnie’s waiting outside,” Geoff said casually, “Something important came up with Funhaus. Shouldn’t take too long to sort.”

“Do you want me to come with?”

Geoff shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be right. I can probably fix it before we leave for Gus’s.”

“Oh, you’re just going to bow out of all the party planning?”

“I’ll be twenty minutes, not two hours.”

Geoff managed to stand up and leave the room before breaking out into a grin. It was difficult for him to maintain a measured pace to the front door but he did, and he didn’t run into any of the others on the way.

It took the last bit of Geoff’s patience to close the door gently behind him. Once it was shut he was a giddy mess and he turned to Burnie expectantly, who was leaning against a wall with one foot resting against it and he looked just as excited.

“You’ve got them?” Geoff asked.

Burnie fished a small flat box out of his jacket pocket. “John Mace got them to me like an hour ago. He did some great work with the alien metal alloy and now they’ve got this green sheen to them when the light hits right.”

“Gimme.”

Burnie handed the box over and Geoff opened it quickly, checked the contents, and stuffed it into a back pocket, sparing a glance at the front door as he did.

He frowned.

“How did they end up green?”

“You’re asking me like I have a clue,” Burnie replied. He kept his voice low. “Mace just said it bonded well with the platinum.”

“I like it. I like it a lot.”

“You’re stressing.” Burnie said. “You’re stressing about the green-“

-“No, I really do like the green-“

-“The party then? Or the thing with Gus-“

-“Maybe it’s all three things!” Geoff said in a loud whisper. He looked at the ground. “There’s so much to do, and it has to all go perfectly, and do you know how many what-if scenarios I’ve gone through in the last couple of weeks?”

Burnie leaned in close.

“For the record, Geoff,” Burnie said, “I think what you’re doing is great.”

“I really hope so. Better try while you still have the chance, you know? We’re not old but… I’m definitely older than most people in this line of work.”

“Not just with your crew,” Burnie continued, “In the city too. What you’ve done, no-one else could do. You’re a good man, Geoff. I’m sure you’ve got many years left.”

Geoff smiled. “I had a lot of help getting here.”

“Yeah, you’re surrounded by good people. But you were the one that fought so hard for co-operation when those new crews emerged. And now Kinda Funny and Cow Chop are actually discussing plans and sharing resources. It wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t make things go so smoothly with Funhaus.”

“I got real lucky. There were a few bad apples at Funhaus that needed weeding out but most of them, they’re not different from us. We want the same thing, and we care about the same people around us.”

“Co-operation’s always worked for you.”

Geoff smiled again, mostly to himself. “It really has.”

“And talks are going well with that new crew too, who were they, Sweet Pine? The whole nature of the game’s changed. You’ve made things better.”

Geoff gave a watery laugh, and hugged Burnie. “I couldn’t have done it without you and your amazing ability to put up with my bullshit. You’re a fantastic friend, and I love you, and…”

Geoff broke down a little bit.

Burnie hugged him tighter. “I’m so proud of who you are and where you are. You’re making some really good calls, and I know a lot of people trust you to make the right ones.”

Geoff sniffed. “Just you wait until you see what I’ve got planned next.”

They broke away.

“The party’s tomorrow, right?” Burnie asked.

“Yep. Yesterday it was three years since we met Jeremy, and tomorrow I’m three years sober. Doing a combined sort of affair.”

“I’m looking forward to it. And after, if the six of you want to take some time off-island, just let me know beforehand so I can organise people to cover you.”

“Will do, as long as Gus doesn’t blow the entire island up first.”

“That’s why you and the rest of them have to make sure he doesn’t.”

“I think I would much rather plan parties than try to stop Gus from doing something he doesn’t want to.”

“I’ll let you get back to it. I’ve got some planning for this party to do as well, you know.”

Burnie gave him one last clap on the shoulder and they said their goodbyes. Geoff wiped at his eyes, took a deep breath, and headed back inside.

“I’ve made up my mind, Geoff.” Jack said. “We’re inviting Sugar Pine.”

“Haven’t we left the invite a bit late for them?” Geoff replied.

“I’ll get Trevor to tell them.”

“Hah. I wonder how many of these last minute decisions we can offload onto Trevor?”

“I’ll see what I can do. But Lindsay wants final say on the music.”

“Like we could stop her. We’ll be listening to teen angst songs all night.”

Ryan walked past with his head down in his phone. Gavin trailed after him.

“I’m a plenty good photographer!” Gavin argued.

“You know who’s even better? An actual photographer. I know one who owes me a favour.”

“I’ve never even heard of this Wes guy!”

“Think of it like this. You get to spend more time with us instead of worrying about what to put on our Instagram.”

“But I like worrying about what to put on my-“

Ryan pressed a finger over Gavin’s lips. Gavin looked scandalised.

“Do it after.” Ryan said, and only then withdrew his finger.

Gavin blushed.

“I might be, amenable to that.”

Ryan smirked.

Geoff’s phone buzzed once more and he smiled at the screen.

“Oh good,” Geoff said, “catering just finished setting up the tables and chairs and the flowers look phenomenal. I didn’t know my yacht could look this good.”

“Yes you did,” Ryan said. He rubbed a hand over Geoff’s shoulder and Geoff leaned into the touch.

“Okay, yeah, I did.”

Before Ryan could withdraw his hand, Geoff placed his own over it and tilted his head backwards to look at him.

“Wanna go for a run tomorrow morning?”

“Sure. But don’t think I’m gonna let you beat me up the top of that hill again.”

“Oh, you let me, did you?”

Ryan kissed the top of his head.

“We’ll see tomorrow.”

The front door banged open and Michael and Jeremy pushed their way inside.

“Here, Gavin,” Michael tossed a Blu-ray on the couch, “I don’t know why we couldn’t stream it, but I got your dumb ghost hunter show.”

“Ready, Set, Ghost is a gift.” Gavin said, kissing him as he walked past. He did the same for Jeremy.

“I got snacks!” Jeremy held up some shopping bags. “And I’m trying out my air fryer tonight. We’ll watch Ready, Set, Ghost and eat the best goddamn chicken burgers you’ve ever seen.”

Jack raised an eyebrow at them. “You’re meant to be helping prepare for the party. Why did it take you three hours to get snacks?”

“We had to steal a jet ski, Jack.” Jeremy replied.

“Oh, of course.”

“Besides,” Michael said, “I thought Lindsay did most of it a month ago. We’ll get Trevor to do the rest. Aren’t we headed to see Gus in like twenty minutes?”

“Shit, yeah, we should get ready for that.”

“Did you bring it?” Gus asked.

“Yep, Michael has it.” Geoff replied, and pointed to Michael, who hefted the laser cannon up into a ready position. “And the shield and the last of the pellet storage containers are in the car.”

Almost every piece of alien tech made its way to Gus’s basement over the last three years. Gus would occasionally request a new piece to do some research on, and Geoff and Burnie had obliged. Pretty much the only things left in the apartment were the modified guns and the helmet, which hadn’t left the supervisor’s storage box. The box sat deep in a storeroom protected with the heaviest lock Geoff could find.

Lindsay, somehow, had also ended up with a red and black piece of tech that apparently did nothing, but it looked like it was meant to unfold into something. She refused to let Gus study it and it sat on top of her microwave.

The pellet storage containers that Geoff future-cubed from Zancudo had been filled to the brim, and while they tried to use the pellets sparingly, their numbers dwindled. The focus of Gus’s research over the last year or so was concerning the pellets.

And he’d better have something good to show them, otherwise the Fake’s edge over the city might soon end, as well as the talks with new crews trying to share pieces of Geoff’s territory. Their futuristic tech was one of their main advantages and without it there wasn’t much to stop these crews attacking them on a dozen different fronts.

There was a third reason for the party tomorrow. Many of the leaders of the other crews would be attending and Geoff wanted them to meet and talk and mingle. If all went well, it would do wonders for relationships between them.

The Fakes couldn’t afford to look weak at a crucial junction like this.

“Good,” Gus said, and wiped a hand over his eyes. He looked tired, even more so than usual. His hands were blackened with some sort of ash and he left twin streaks of it down his face. “We might need it to do some damage control.”

“The laser cannon is like, the opposite of damage control.” Michael said. “This is damage out-of-control.”

“If the machine goes critical, we’ll need the cannon to destroy it before it destroys us.” Gus explained. “I’m pretty sure it won’t, but…”

Michael levelled his gaze at Gus. “But you do have proper shut down procedures in place? Manual off switch? Grounding wires?”

Gus pointed at the cannon. “That’s my shutdown procedure. Look, can you just take those pellet storage containers downstairs? I have a few things to get ready before I’ll perform the experiment.”

“No, no,” Ryan said, “this isn’t an experiment. This is a demonstration, right? You’ve done the experiment before?”

Gus pretended not to hear him. “Can you bring those pellet storage downstairs? Also, I need someone to help me find some stuff upstairs. Gavin? Jeremy?”

Ryan and Jack carried the two remaining pellet storage contains into the basement, where the experiment was set up, while Gavin and Jeremy helped Gus upstairs. Michael took a phone call out by the car and, when Ryan and Jack left to see what was taking Gavin and Jeremy so long, left Geoff in the basement by himself.

Most of the space was taken up by high-tech clutter. The x-ray glasses, the invisibility suit given to Burnie, a couple of guns, and tech Geoff didn’t recognise sat in a neat pile on the left, and the right contained the mound of twisted and damaged scrap alien metal that had collected there over the years. On various tables sat technology that hadn’t been found useful yet- the devices that only existed when viewed from the correct angle, stuff too fragile and burned to experiment on, and broken tech Gus was still trying to piece together.

Geoff recognised the “rocket launcher” Ryan attempted to fire at Prince James when Jeremy and Ryan had investigated that scientific research outpost. There had been about half a dozen raids since then at various locations, most of them turning up scrap metal but a few contained useful pieces of tech.

Even Jeremy’s old device sat on a table, slowly gathering dust right next to the experiment Gus had concocted. Geoff would have recognised it anywhere. Even just glancing at it made Geoff uncomfortable, the sight of the thing brought back more bad memories than Geoff could handle. He focused on the experiment beside it, giving the table a wide berth.

The experiment consisted of some sort of high powered laser and a bunch of mirrors made of polished alien metal. Geoff was careful to avoid touching any of it, partly because he knew these set-ups could be delicate and mostly because he knew how often alien tech reacted with contact.

Next to it were the five remaining pellet storage containers. Three looked worse for wear while the two Ryan and Jack brought down looked brand new. There had been plenty more, Geoff knew, but they’d now joined the scrap heap on the right side of the room.

The five pellet storage containers were set against the wall in a neat row. Geoff lined himself up in front of them and cleared his throat.

He didn’t speak, but his mouth moved over the ghost of words and they felt well-practiced in his mouth. He palmed the thin box in his pocket and held it out like a present to them, still mouthing the words he’d gone over so many times he couldn’t forget even if he tried. He smiled, and put the box back in his pocket.

Just in time, because Gus and Ryan came down the basement stairs with a whiteboard between them. Closely following them was Gavin with an armful of future cubes, and then Jeremy with a table lamp he’d clearly just unplugged from somewhere.

“So what do you guys know about the fourth spacial dimension?” Gus asked.

Jeremy answered. “Not much, to be honest. It’s there, and we can’t access it because our brains are dumb.”

“Yes, that’s fairly accurate.” Gus replied. He and Ryan placed the whiteboard down next to the experiment just as Jack and Michael made their way down the stairs and into the basement with them. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t still use it. Give me the lamp, please.”

Jeremy passed it over and Gus plugged it into a power point, talking all the while.

“We can’t use the fourth spacial dimension ourselves, but we can see what it does in our three dimensions. You’re all familiar with Ray’s abilities to disappear and walk through walls?”

“Uhh, yes.” Geoff said. “We’re the ones that told you about that.”

“He learned how to use that extra spacial dimension. It has rules, it follows patterns, and it’s predictable. Once we know what those rules are, we’ll know how it works and looks and go from there.”

Jeremy cocked his head. “How do you learn the rules and patterns n’ stuff if you can’t see it?”

Gus smiled. “Reverse engineering.”

“You… reverse engineered a dimension?”

“I’ll show you. Give me a cube, Gavin.”

Gavin passed a future-cube over. Gus shined the lamp light directly over one of its surfaces, leaving a shadow on the whiteboard.

“Look at the cube,” Gus instructed. “Look at the shadow. When I shine the light over one of its surfaces, what do you see?”

Geoff stared at the whiteboard. There was a square-shaped shadow on the surface, as well as the shadow of Gus’s hand.

“A square?” Jack said hesitantly.

“Yes. The light and the cube make a square-shaped shadow on the white board. Now look what happens if I rotate the cube…”

Gus slowly made the cube rotate a quarter revolution, so he was holding it by its corners. “What does the shadow look like?”

Geoff didn’t follow. Fortunately for him, Jeremy did.

“It’s hexagon now. The shadow’s a hexagon.”

“And if I rotate it further, it’ll turn back into a square. The shadow is a square and then it turns into a hexagon and back again.”

“Very interesting.” Jack said. “But I don’t know what this has to do with anything-“

-“It has everything to do with everything, Jack.” Gus said. “Imagine you were a little two dimensional being living on that whiteboard. You wouldn’t know what a cube was. If I told you a cube made that shadow, you’d think a cube was a square that could magically turn into a hexagon and back.”

“But you could explain what length, width, and breadth were-“

“But you wouldn’t comprehend it. I can tell you, the three-dimensional Jack, about how four-dimensional space works. It’s just length, width, breadth, and gargleflardth.”

“…Oh.”

“We’re the simpler beings living on a whiteboard. The aliens are twisting the cube.”

“Ah.” Ryan said. “and their tech is the cube.”

“Exactly. I’ve been looking at a lot of pellets as they fly through space,” Gus said. “Checking off what things they fly through, what they won’t. Checking angles, looking at things in slow motion. Thanks for that camera, by the way, Gavin.”

“As long as I get it back eventually.” Gavin replied.

“Eventually.” Gus promised. “I’ve built up a pretty good picture of how these things should move in four dimensions. And if I get enough energy to move in the same way, at the right time, through the right materials… I think it’ll turn into a pellet.”

Michael gave an appreciative whistle. “You can build pellets out of their shadows.”

Gus shrugged. “I could be completely wrong. Shadows can be misleading. But that’s why you’re all here- just in case I am. But the numbers all add up and initial testing has been promising.” He pointed at some of the scrap alien metal. Several of the pieces on the top had holes burned through them, and scorch marks.

Was that promising? Geoff reminded himself that he trusted Gus, something he’d often had to remind himself of whenever Gus asked them to visit his home.

“Alright,” Geoff said, clapping his hands together, “when can we start the experiment, or demonstration or whatever?”

“As soon as you all put on these safety glasses, I can start powering the laser up.”

Gus fished six pairs of glasses out of various pockets and made them put them on. Gus himself slipped on the x-ray glasses.

“Do you need us to, uh,” Ryan said, “stand back or anything?”

“Just out of the way of the laser. Okay, I’m turning it on now.”

Without any more warning, Gus flipped a switch on the back of the laser and a brilliant violet light shot out. Geoff’s eyes caught on the dust motes trapped and illuminated on the beam before following the beam’s course between each mirror.

It hit a prism of some sort and split into two beams- one red and the other cyan. They travelled along separate paths, bouncing across mirrors, and convened on a speck in the middle of the display. There was a flash of light, and the beams combined into a bright mass.

Gus shut the laser off. The violet light, and the red and cyan, disappeared in an instant.

What remained was the new pellet. It wasn’t the same bright cyan of the pellets Geoff was used to, nor was it the pink of Ray’s. It was at most a dull grey with a vaguely purple sheen, but it shone with the same bright intensity. Whether it did something similar to the other two types of pellet Geoff didn’t know, but this was something he could definitely show off at the party tomorrow.

“It worked!” Gus said animatedly. “I knew it needed those nanodiamonds!”

“I don’t know that you did,” Jack said, “But that’s a pellet right there. The wrong colour, but then again so were Ray’s.”

Ryan removed his glasses and inspected the pellet. “Ray’s pellets went through organic matter and hit inorganic stuff. I wonder if the colouring affects how they travel through different kinds of matter…”

“Nanodiamonds?” Gavin asked.

“Man-made diamonds, but very small.” Gus explained. “It matched my theories perfectly. It’s not technically a nanodiamond, it’s slightly too big, but it held the light perfectly. Next time I’ll try adjusting the prism a little bit and seeing where that takes us, I reckon a more pure light division will get us a more saturated colour.”

“…Okay. Sounds good.”

Gus ignored Gavin’s indifferent response. “If the nanodiamonds worked, that means a couple of my other theories are likely true. Gavin, how sure are you that you’re only three-dimensional?”

“Oh God.” Gavin said. “No, I do not want to know, thanks very much. I need another existential crisis from you like I need a hole in the head.”

“Stop scaring him, Gus.” Geoff said. “Can we bring this pellet on my yacht for the party? I imagine it would be too difficult to set up this experiment on the boat but can we transport it?”

Gus frowned. “I want to run some tests on it, but I don’t see why you couldn’t transport it the… usual…way…Uh oh.”

“Uh,” Michael said, “the pellet’s not looking too good.”

The pellet shook, each tremor across its surface growing more pronounced with each second that passed.

That’s right. The pellets exploded if they weren’t stored in freezing cold conditions.

“Get down!” Jeremy tackled Ryan, the closest to the experiment, to the floor.

Geoff had enough time to throw himself backwards before the pellet burst apart in a flash of grey light.

Geoff clattered against the table behind him just as razor sharp shards of polished alien metal bit into his arms. It stung, and Geoff was glad he hadn’t taken his safety glasses off.

His arm brushed across Jeremy’s deactivated device.

There was a flash of red light.

Strings.

Hundreds of them, thousands, millions, billions, trillions, more than Geoff could comprehend, an infinite number of them vibrating and tangling and writhing in and out of tandem. Cyan lights and lengths masquerading as atoms and structures and fundamental forces, splitting and dividing and merging together in a pattern unknown to anything resembling what Geoff had seen on Earth so far.

Geoff didn’t like it one bit.

“What? No!” Geoff screamed into the cyan void. “No, the device was turned off. I saw Ray tear it apart.”

Despite his argument, he remained. A body, floating in a void, eerily similar to the space Ray described after touching the first device.

“Fuck.” Geoff said. “Oh, Geoff, what have you done this time?”

His voice echoed without walls, and yet it also felt like he was speaking directly into his own ears. It was disconcerting.

Geoff took a deep breath.

“Okay, you turned on because I touched you. Okay. Okay…”

How had Ray gotten out of this?

His description was almost three years ago, and Geoff could barely remember it. Thinking about the words Ray choked out on the deck of his old yacht was still painful.

“Ray had talked to you, right? And you responded?”

Ray said the device sat on his arm like it looked like it meant to. There was no device here. Geoff was alone, more alone than he ever recalled feeling before. Was that because he wasn’t tied to the device in the same way Jeremy was? Might still be?

“Please, can you take me home? Can you take me back to the others? Their names are Jack, Ryan, Michael, Gavin, and Jeremy. Can you bring me back to them? Please, we have a lot of stuff planned…”

The void offered no answers for him.

Geoff threw up his arms in frustration, grimacing at the same time. He didn’t like how his arms felt, the way he could feel each muscle group contract and relax. He could feel his blood trickle out of his arteries to mix with the cells in his fingertips and then travel back up his arms.

He tried talking to the void again, mostly to focus on something else.

“Well why am I here then?”

There was a flash of light, and Geoff saw.

Geoff saw Los Santos fade away above him, as if he’d fallen through the ground. It shrunk and shrunk until the island, and then the whole planet was no more than a tiny speck, and when Geoff tore his eyes away from the sight he stared directly into the mass of the Sun. There were no words to compare the size of it to the Earth, let alone Geoff. No human being had ever felt so small. Even the Sun appeared as a speck to the girth of other stars as they appeared and shrunk in front of his eyes. Geoff smelled burned meat and iron so strongly he could taste it on his tongue. Slowly, the full splendour of the galaxy, his galaxy, spread before him. He couldn’t pick out his Sun against such a starscape. It may as well not have existed at all.

Geoff saw himself fall against a table in Gus’s basement, his left arm trapped in a device he hadn’t seen before.

Geoff saw himself standing on a vaguely familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet tore its way through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a vaguely familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet tore its way through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a vaguely familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet tore its way through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a vaguely familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet tore its way through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a vaguely familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet tore its way through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

“Woah, what?” Geoff said. He blinked. “Is this déjà vu?”

Geoff saw himself standing on a familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet shot through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet shot through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff saw himself standing on a familiar mountain. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet shot through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

“Stop it!” Geoff said.

He felt the cyan void form around him again as the images faded.

“Why did you show me that last scene so many times?”

Geoff saw himself standing on a familiar mountain. Mt Gordo. He watched as he pulled the trigger on an alien rifle, and a cyan pellet shot through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it fell out of the sky, hitting another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

“I get it! Stop!”

Geoff floated in silence for a while, deep in thought.

“That situation… it’s inevitable, right?”

Geoff saw himself standing on Mt Gordo. On his other side, Geoff saw himself standing on Mt Gordo. On his other side, Geoff saw himself standing on Mt Gordo. On his other side, Geoff saw himself standing on Mt Gordo. A kaleidoscope of Geoffs pulled a hundred triggers, and a thousand spaceships fell against a million mountains, and a billion spaceships spiralled away.

“That hurts my eyes… and my brain.”

Geoff gasped.

“That’s the start of this, isn’t it. The start of it all. It’s me. Every single universe… it’s me. I caused alien technology to appear in Los Santos and near Prince James.”

The void was silent.

“But how? Why-?”

Geoff saw a device, the original device, held loosely in Gavin’s hands in Geoff’s old yacht. Geoff remembered that as the moment they’d become the Fake AH Crew and Gavin had set off the device. But Geoff watched, and Gavin had stopped messing with the device to talk about crew names. Unprompted, the device lit up on its own.

Why was the void, or Jeremy’s device, showing him this?

Geoff saw the same device emit a red flash as Ray held it.

Geoff saw Jeremy’s device appear to deactivate when Ray tore apart its insides.

Geoff saw that same device flash red just as his own arm brushed against it.

“I don’t understand.”

Geoff saw Gus hold a future cube up against the strong light of a lamp, and saw him mouth something.

What was it Gus had said? Some fancy metaphor. Geoff didn’t remember.

The scene repeated again, still without sound. Maybe this was because Jeremy’s device was so damaged? Maybe it just didn’t do sound. What had Gus said?

“Aliens twist the cube. Aliens control the cube. The cube is the tech. Aliens…”

Oh.

“The reason all this happened. It wasn’t me. It was you.” Geoff didn’t know who he was talking to. The void, Jeremy’s device. An alien. All of them.

“You’re the one making these devices do stuff! It’s not us!”

Geoff narrowed his eyes.

“You made this happen. All of it. And you want me to do something now. You made Ray leave, and now I’m your next target.”

Geoff saw himself standing on Mt Gordo. He watched as he pulled the trigger on the rifle, and a cyan pellet shot through the sky. It impacted against a spaceship and it and hit another, and one tumbled down the mountain while the other spiralled away.

Geoff was quiet for a while.

“There’s something on my arm in all of these. From the second vision. I… leave this place, and then I get that cube device thing put on my arm. And then I, dunno, time travel? I thought time travel wasn’t real. You make that new cube thing take me somewhere and I continue the cycle. That’s what you want me to do.”

Geoff paused.

“God, we’re just… one more loop in an infinite chain. Is that what I am to you?”

The memory of the sheer enormity of space stretched out in his brain. Geoff was one tiny piece in an unfathomable, unknowable, infinite universe. One of many. One of an infinite number.

And he would leave this place, and fall against Gus’s table, and he would be sent to Mt Gordo.

He would continue the cycle.

As sure as a glass dropped would smash on the ground, the cycle would continue.

“…I think I understand now. I don’t know why I have to, but I’ll do what I’m told.

“And when I do, will that be the end of it? Can I finally just live after that? With the others?”

Geoff felt his mind vibrate apart and he disappeared in a red flash, his final questions unanswered.

Geoff re-emerged in Gus’s basement in a flash of light. His knees buckled, and he instinctively reached out to break his fall. Something cold passed through his left arm and he collapsed on the floor.

“Geoff!” Gavin cried out.

Geoff stared at his arm and the new cube-shaped device that encircled it. He looked up.

“I’m sorry, I-”

He saw Ryan reach out for him, but the world unravelled and there was nothing for him to reach out to.

It wasn’t instantaneous.

Geoff felt his mind and body dissolve into infinite tiny strings. He held onto whatever scrap of himself he was allowed to keep and waited for Mt Gordo to appear.

It didn’t. Something felt wrong.

Something tugged at his insides, ripping him in a different direction.

Geoff opened his eyes and stared into Geoff’s.

“What?” Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Geoff said.

“Holy shit.” Jack exclaimed.

“He just came out of you!” Ryan said, and pulled a gun.

“What?!” Geoff shouted, and scrambled away from Geoff. “Shoot him!”

“Don’t shoot me! Why would you shoot me, Ryan?” Geoff said.

“He knows your name!” Geoff shouted once more.

“Can we calm down, please?” Jack said, raising a placating hand to Ryan. Ryan lowered the gun.

Geoff looked at his arm. The cyan cube-like device was actually a cube within a cube, and the two cubes… well, rotated around each other wasn’t the right description. It looked like they took turns swallowing the other. As he watched, the motion slowed down and stopped. It faintly glowed purple.

What he’d said in the void had turned out to be true. The cube thing had taken him somewhere. But this wasn’t where he was meant to be. This wasn’t Mt Gordo. And there sure as hell shouldn’t be another Geoff here.

But they seemed to think that he was the other Geoff.

“I’m not meant to be here,” Geoff said. “I’m meant to be at Mt Gordo right now.”

“Mt Gordo?” Geoff said.

“Something went wrong.” Geoff explained. “Jesus Christ. Look, this is as weird for me as it is for you, but I can explain everything. Hopefully. Just get the others and I can do it all in one go.”

“Others?” Ryan questioned.

“Get Michael, Gavin, and Jeremy. I’m sorry I disappeared so suddenly but there’s something I have to do. I don’t know why he’s here.” Geoff pointed at Geoff. “Like I said, something went wrong.”

“Me?” Geoff said. “I was here all along! You’re the one that appeared out of me!”

Geoff gave him a patronising look and held up his left arm. “Obviously there’s some alien tech fuckery happening. Just get the others and we’ll go see Gus and figure this out.”

“…Alien tech?” Jack said. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Ryan raised his gun at Geoff again.

“There’s no-one else here but us.” Ryan said in a low voice. “So you can just sit right there and start explaining everything here and now.”

Geoff noticed he was back in his apartment. It was late at night, and a light snow fell.

It wasn’t meant to snow for another few months.

“You don’t remember Michael, Gavin, or Jeremy?” Geoff asked. “You don’t know about the alien tech?”

The barrel of Ryan’s gun pressed against Geoff’s temple.

“No more questions. You explain why there’s two of you right now or I bring that number back to one.”

Geoff broke out into a cold sweat, and his stomach dropped. Ryan wouldn’t really shoot him, would he?

“You don’t know who or what I’m talking about at all.”

There could only be one explanation.

“No” Jack said. “Well, there’s a Michael and a Gavin in the Lad’s crew. Are you with them?”

“No. Look, hey, Ryan, could you put the gun down please? I’ll talk if you stop pointing that at me.”

Ryan looked to Geoff, who nodded.

“I’m you,” Geoff pointed at Geoff, “from another universe.”

“Are you evil?” Geoff asked.

“What? No,” Geoff said. “Well, no more evil than you I suppose. And you have no idea what I’m talking about when I talk about alien tech? Have you three ever gone to Zancudo?”

“Nope.” Jack said. “There was a job a few years ago to go in there and bring something back, but we decided it was too risky.”

“Well, I’m from an alternate universe where you went.” Geoff said. “And we ran into the Lads and got stuck down there, and, well, ended up getting into a six-way relationship.”

“Yeah, right,” Ryan said. “You honestly expect us to believe that?”

“How else are you going to explain the two Geoffs?” Geoff asked. “You know what, Geoff, I’m going to start calling you Alt-Geoff.”

“What?” Alt-Geoff said, annoyed. “But you’re the one from the alternative universe!”

“Not to me.” Geoff said. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m going to head back to my universe now and set this straight.”

“No,” Ryan said, “You’re going to explain-“

-“No I’m not. I don’t have time to sort this out. More important things to do.”

Geoff grabbed one of the cube’s edges and tugged it, setting it spinning. The cubes glowed and the spinning sped up.

Obviously something went wrong the first time the device was used. He was surprised he could get it going himself but it definitely looked like it was powering up. He’d just use it again and hopefully the right thing would happen and he’d end up at Mt Gordo.

The alternative was too painful to consider.

“Bye.” Geoff said. “And watch out for any visiting royalty!”

With a flash, the world disintegrated and Geoff was no more.

Geoff opened his eyes and stared into Alt-Geoff’s.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Shit, this isn’t right. It felt wrong again.” Geoff said quickly, trying not to panic. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your moustache momentarily.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Ryan said, pulling a gun, but Geoff was already spinning the cubes and the universe dissolved.

Geoff opened his eyes and stared into Alt-Geoff’s.

“What the heck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Moustache?” Geoff said.

“What?!”

“The other Alt-me had a moustache,” Geoff explained. “You don’t. That’s a really big change, Jeremy said once.”

“…Uh. What?!”

Geoff spun the cubes and the universe dissolved.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

Geoff opened his eyes and gasped, because instead of staring into his own eyes he opened them to darkness.

Dirt filled his open mouth and Geoff spluttered and clawed at the space in front of him. His hands hit open air and Geoff lunged forward. The dirt slid away from him and Geoff scrambled away from it.

Chest heaving, Geoff’s eyes darted over the hole he’d just crawled from. Just visible were the grey shapes of several bones.

A grave. Geoff had crawled out of a grave.

“This isn’t right.” Geoff said, voice shaking.

“This… none of this should be happening. I should be at Mt Gordo. I have to get to Mt Gordo!”

He should be in Gus’s basement. He should be with the others. He should be at a party, showing off exciting new tech. He should be…

Heart racing, Geoff tried to think.

…If what the first Alt-Ryan said was true, then Geoff appeared from inside an Alt-Geoff somehow. That would imply the bones he was currently looking at were his own.

He’d just crawled out of his own grave.

Geoff leaned to the side and threw up.

Geoff rolled away from the mess and leaned on one elbow, suddenly lacking the strength to stand or even sit. Stones and twigs prickled his skin, making him itch. He was next to a storm drain under a road. The air smelled dirty and polluted.

This was all wrong. None of this should be happening. Not today, not with the party happening, not at all.

Something caught Geoff’s eye.

Next to him, the ground sloped up again into another mound. Next to it, four more.

Five more graves.

One for each of his crewmembers.

Geoff wanted to be sick again.

“This can’t be happening.” Geoff muttered to himself. “I have to get back. My crew is probably worried sick. They’re waiting for me to get back.”

A thought struck Geoff.

If he appeared inside an Alt-Geoff somehow, if that was how the cube-device handled two Geoffs existing in the same universe, then how could he appear back in his universe? There was no Geoff to appear in.

Geoff shook his head.

No. There had to be a way back.

“Take me back!” Geoff screamed at the cube device. He grabbed at an edge roughly and yanked it.

The edge snapped off. The thin piece of cyan metal clattered between some rocks and fell out of sight.

The device powered down, losing its purple glow.

“No, no. Wait, no,” Geoff stammered, his anger fleeing him in an instant. “Hold on, hold on.”

He scrambled for the dropped piece but he didn’t see where it fell. It might have even fallen in the storm drain itself.

Geoff collapsed to his knees.

Chapter Text

He found it.

It took him two hours, but he found that missing piece. It did in fact fall into the storm drain and Geoff had to lever the grate open with a stick. Geoff thanked his lucky stars that it didn’t appear to have rained recently in the area; otherwise he’d probably never have found it.

He manoeuvred the piece back into place and it settled in its spot loosely.

The cube-device fluttered weakly to life and Geoff shot up straight. The piece fell out again and Geoff scrambled to catch it before it disappeared between the rocks.

“Okay… okay.” Geoff said. He slipped the piece into his pocket. “I can fix this, but I need some tape or something.”

He wasn’t stuck. He wasn’t stuck here with only his own dead body to keep him company.

These devices worked in four dimensions, right? Maybe he’d only broken three of them. And alien tech was hardy. He was well aware of how well Jeremy’s device had functioned despite looking like it powered down.

Oh fuck. Jeremy’s device still worked.

Would Michael have destroyed it completely with the laser cannon after seeing what it did to Geoff? Geoff hoped so. There was a good chance they’d figured out what happened to him, to some extent. Gus would be able to tell them what tech had gone missing.

Geoff’s thoughts stuttered to a halt.

Was the original device even destroyed? What if the laser cannon only destroyed things in three dimensions? Was the device in tiny little molten pieces, scattered across the ocean floor?

No, because Jeremy killed the Fakes during his loops. He’d have noticed, or mentioned at some point if he’d killed one of them and a few hours later the rest had disappeared in a flash of red light. Or something. Geoff didn’t know what happened in a universe, or to the people connected to a device, once one of them died.

He had to believe that it was possible to destroy the alien devices somehow. After all, there was a bunch of deactivated and broken tech in Gus’s basement… at least Geoff hoped it was.

If the others were smart, they should take the laser cannon and destroy everything in that basement before it did anything else. Then throw the cannon into the ocean.

A shadow fell over Geoff’s shoulder. He spun around, expecting trouble, but it was only the shadow of the mountain behind him growing longer. It was going to get dark at some point and Geoff had nowhere to go.

Geoff looked around properly for the first time. He was in a valley between two mountain peaks, right near a road but so far he hadn’t noticed any cars driving by. There was the faintest of sea breezes tingling the hair on his head, and the smell of salt and rubbish.

Geoff climbed out of the drain and stood near the side of the road, trying to get his bearings. He could see where the drain emptied into a creek at the bottom of the valley. Probably built to stop the road flooding. His eyes followed the path of the road down the valley to where it connected with a major road and turned into a bridge-

Geoff knew that bridge.

Geoff had landed a jet hundreds of times right near it, and parachuted to the base of it. He and the Lads had hidden their vehicles under it before the Zancudo heist.

Geoff looked back at the graves behind him. If he was right about the bridge, they weren’t all that far from Zancudo.

Was it possible that in this universe, they’d all died escaping Zancudo and the military had buried them here?

It was plausible if they needed to cover it all up because of the alien tech. Geoff would bet money this road was used mostly to transport and bury bodies, considering the location. If any body pieces washed down the drain they could be explained away as jumpers off the bridge.

Of course, the Fakes had other enemies that could have done this. But they were all located in the city, and there were easier ways to dispose of bodies than to lug them out here. Geoff knew from firsthand experience.

The easiest way to check if he was right about any of this was to go down to the bridge and see if the vehicles were still there.

Before following the road down to the bridge, Geoff jumped back down into the drain and reburied his bones. It wasn’t right to leave them out in the open like that, even if the process filled him with a sort of horror he couldn’t properly describe.

It took him about an hour to make it to the base of the bridge. It took him a further ten minutes to find the right clump of foliage to remove as the whole area was far more overgrown than he remembered. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed since he was last here.

Moving some bushes aside, he finally spotted his Roosevelt. It looked rusty, and had some weather damage, but it wasn’t a complete wreck. Geoff smiled to himself.

Leaving it for the moment, Geoff travelled a little further through the overgrowth. Under some more detritus sat the Lads’ vehicles. Michael’s armoured car, Ray’s brown monstrosity, and Gavin’s shit-heap of a motorbike. Geoff ran a reverent hand over the hood of Ray’s car.

The times he had with Ray were definitely golden days gone past- but he knew his time with Jeremy and the other Fakes right now was also a golden age. He couldn’t imagine a better universe where Jeremy wasn’t there. It just didn’t seem possible.

Frowning for a moment, Geoff dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys. Brushing a bit of dirt off, he walked back to the Roosevelt and unlocked it. His car key worked.

He had his keys in his pocket.

Hmm.

Geoff sat in the driver’s seat and pulled everything out of his pockets. His phone and wallet, a pack of breath mints, the piece of the cube-device, a spare magazine, and the thin box had all made the journey between universes with him. Reaching behind, he pulled his Glock out of his waistband.

That raised some interesting questions about what the cube-device was transporting between universes. This new device worked significantly differently to the original device.

Geoff unlocked the boot from the inside and rummaged around inside. There was a bug-out bag, a gas can, and a few guns and explosives neatly lined up against the back wall. He opened the bug-out bag and rifled through it until he found some tape.

“Good. Now I can fix this stupid thing.”

Geoff tugged at the cube-device but it didn’t come off his arm. It didn’t appear to be attached in any way he could see- it just hung over his forearm, right near his wrist. He shook his arm but all that did was send the cubes spinning around each other again. To no useful effect.

“I’m getting pretty sick of this fourth spacial dimension bullshit.”

Trying to hold it steady, Geoff fit the broken piece in place and managed to wrap the tape around the join. He did the same to the other side and it held steady. He gave the device a cautious spin and the device began to glow.

“Fuck yes, Geoff, you’re a genius.”

The glow was weak, almost too weak to see, but was he imagining it getting stronger? Probably if he waited long enough, it would power up enough for him to use.

What did he want to do until then? It was extremely unlikely that any of these vehicles were in a good enough condition to drive. The batteries would be long dead and the fuel gone bad. Geoff didn’t know much about body decomposition but he imaged he’d been buried a few years at least. He wouldn’t put it past the military to speed up the process somehow to hide the evidence quicker.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and was unsurprised to find he had no reception. In this universe, he wouldn’t have paid his phone bill in years. That probably meant his credit cards were cancelled as well.

Awww, his apartment would’ve been found abandoned and sold by now. He’d liked that apartment.

He had about $400 in his wallet. That could last him a shitty hotel for a week or so or until the device powered up. He could carjack someone on the bridge above him and go from there.

And go where?

Despite the Gent’s deaths, he imagined Burnie and Rooster Teeth still surviving out there. He’d give Burnie quite the scare, literally rising from his grave after who knows how many years, but it would be nice to see a familiar face.

But Burnie wouldn’t be able to help him. He’d have to explain the whole thing and that would be difficult enough. And afterwards, Burnie wouldn’t be able to help him much. Nobody in this universe would.

Besides, it wasn’t really Burnie, was it? Just someone who looked and sounded a lot like him. It was a Burnie who moved on without him years ago. They had different histories now. Geoff didn’t particularly want to see what happened to the Burnie of this universe, this darker, colder one.

One he’d leave in a few hours or days anyway.

No, Geoff decided, he’d sit here and wait for the device to fix itself. It already looked brighter than fifteen minutes ago. He slipped the tape into a pocket, for safe-keeping, and settled down to wait.

As soon as he opened his eyes he saw the fractured piece fall away again. It seemed like the piece won’t stay attached permanently- he’d have to retrieve it and wait for the cube-device to reboot and fix itself each time.

That was the price he had to pay for his moment of anger.

At least he wasn’t trapped in a universe where everyone he loved was dead.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

Geoff, despite himself, (or maybe because of himself,) grinned.

“Thank God, it worked.”

Ryan levelled a gun at him.

“You planned this? You came out of him! Why are there two of you?”

“It’s good to see you too, Ryan.” Geoff said. “Oh my God, I’m going to have to explain this every time, aren’t I?”

Geoff felt a momentary pang of sympathy for Jeremy.

“Who the fuck are you?” Alt-Geoff said.

“I’m you from another universe. I use this-“ Geoff held up his wrist- “to travel between universes, and right now it’s broken. If you’d give me a few minutes I can fix it right up and head on my-“

-“You’re not going anywhere.” Ryan said darkly. “If you honestly expect us to believe that for one second, you must think we’re idiots. Did the Lads put you up to this, whoever you are?”

“I’m not a Lad spy, I’m Geoff.” Geoff explained slowly. “I appeared inside of the other Geoff. I come from a universe where the Lads and Gents joined together and work together now.”

“Oh really.” Jack said.

Geoff decided to take a page out of Jeremy’s book.

“Yes. And I can prove it, too. I know pretty much everything about them, and you three as well.”

Alt-Geoff and Jack shared a look, but Geoff was paying more attention to the gun in Ryan’s hands.

“Oh, put the gun away, you’re not going to shoot me.” Geoff said.

“You don’t know that.” Ryan argued.

“Yes I do, Ryan, because I know you, and you wouldn’t shoot me in a million years. The only reason you haven’t put your gun away is because you like the notion that you’re unpredictable and you hate that I-“

Geoff was right. Ryan didn’t shoot him, but he did clock him over the back of the head with the gun, and Geoff saw stars. Ryan and Jack tackled him to the ground and subdued him.

Okay, maybe Ryan had grown softer in the years he was in a relationship with Geoff and the others… this Ryan clearly hadn’t. He felt his arms drawn roughly behind his back and bound, and Jack’s hands search him. Jack emptied his pockets and took the contents.

But his hands passed through the cube-device, Geoff felt.

“I can’t take the glowing thing off.” Jack said to Alt-Geoff.

“Leave it, then. Bring him downstairs.” Alt-Geoff instructed. “If he knows anything about the Lads, Ryan can get it out of him, can’t you?”

“Of course.” Ryan confirmed.

Geoff spat out a mouthful of bile and grimaced. He shot Alt-Geoff a dirty look as he was hauled downstairs. Alt-Geoff stared back with a grim but resolute look in his eyes.

“You know,” Geoff said to Ryan, “You’re basically going to be torturing your boss, right?”

Ryan faced away from him, his eyes on a table towards the far side of the room, and shook his head.

“My boss is upstairs, and you’re just his doppelganger with the info we need to stop the Lads once and for all.”

“Are they that big of a problem for you?”

“Ever since their sniper ended up dead and they hired that mercenary from the mainland.”

Geoff suspected the new guy was Jeremy. These universes were similar in a lot of ways.

Geoff also suspected these Gents were the reason Ray was dead.

“Was all of this really necessary?” Geoff questioned. He was zip-tied to a chair in a room near the garage of the apartment building. “You could have, I don’t know, asked me about them? We didn’t have to jump straight to this. I want an ice pack, at least. My head hurts.”

There was the sound of metal scraping along stone. Ryan was sharpening a knife.

“We stopped with the niceties when the Lads murdered Burnie and Gus. Now, you give us answers, and you get to live a little longer.”

Geoff felt a pang of grief shoot through him. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t his Burnie and Gus. His Burnie and Gus were safe. There were no Corpirates, no Princes, and no enemy Lads left in his universe.

It wasn’t difficult for Geoff to think of this Ryan, though, as different. Not difficult at all.

Maybe it would be harder for this Ryan to make that distinction between the two Geoffs.

Geoff worked to stay still in his chair and avoid straining to see what Ryan was doing. He had a plan, and if he wanted it to work, he’d have to appear unafraid of this new Ryan and way more sure of himself. More in control.

Fortunately, when it came to Ryan, it was an area Geoff had a lot of experience in.

“Now,” Ryan said, and briefest flash of the blade was visible when it hit the light, “You’re going to tell me who and what you are, and what that thing is on your arm, and then you’re going to tell me everything you know about the Lads.”

“Ryan Haywood, I’m your boss. Except, maybe, I know a bit more about you than he does.”

“Oh really?” Ryan said absentmindedly.

“Yep. For instance,” Geoff leaned back in his chair, “I know you’re deeply in love with me.”

The knife-sharpening noises stopped. Ryan turned around.

Geoff let a slow smile spread across his face.

“I’m not-“

-“You are.” Geoff cut him off. “And you’re in luck. I’m completely in love with you too.”

Ryan gave Geoff a long look.

Geoff continued. “We’ve been dating for almost four years. You were sure that Jack would be the one for me, and you took a little bit of convincing otherwise. Some people have more than the one.”

Something flashed across Ryan’s face, although he quickly buried it. Geoff pressed on.

“You’ve wondered since you started working with us, why would two good men want to hang around you? You’re the Vagabond. You were a broken mess before you met us. What could we see in you that you couldn’t? And over the years, we showed you. Your loyalty. How you could make the two of us laugh. How carefully you looked after the things you cared out, whether that be your houseplants or your crewmembers. All the different ways you could be gentle. The way we completely relaxed around you because we trusted you.

“There was that time you fell asleep on Jack’s shoulder and he didn’t move until you woke up. Or when I looked after you when you broke your leg. We were kind, even when you felt you didn’t deserve it. And you loved us for it.”

Ryan flushed, embarrassed. The knife dropped from his hand and clattered on the floor, unnoticed.

These facts his own Ryan had whispered to him on the rooftop late at night, only a few days after Ray left and they both needed assurance. Ryan had plucked the bottle from his hands and curled around him like a blanket. They talked until Geoff was too tired to keep his eyes open and Ryan all but carried him into bed. He was still awake when Geoff woke up late the next morning, looking at him like there wasn’t anything better to in the entire world.

The rest of the crew had been out dealing with urgent matters at the time, and it was something Geoff had kept private between him and Ryan. Now this Ryan knew, and it felt like a betrayal.

But he would say anything to stop himself from getting carved up and to protect the Lads of this universe. This Ryan clearly believed him about the other Gents, but to protect the others he needed to show it wasn’t just him, Jack, and Ryan.

“A situation occurred when we were fighting the Lads in Zancudo. We got stuck down there with them for quite a while. How you feel about me and Jack, you extended that to the Lads. We were stuck for a long time, you have to realise. I’m not your enemy. The Lads don’t have to be your enemies. And I can prove it.”

Ryan looked at him with wide eyes. “How?”

“Go back to the penthouse and look at my phone’s lockscreen. That should be proof enough.”

Ryan pulled the phone from his pocket and turned it on.

Alright, that saved some time.

The screen lit up and Geoff watched an expression of pure pain cross Ryan’s face. It wasn’t an explicit photo or anything, but it was a reminder of what was or what could have been. Could still be.

“You’ve been alone a long time, Ryan.” Geoff said. “But you can end that today. There’s nothing stopping you from letting them know.”

“I… wait here.” Ryan pocketed the phone and darted out of the room, locking it behind him.

Geoff’s head fell against his chest. He took a deep, heaving breath.

“Okay, good… good.” Geoff said to himself.

The adrenaline bled from him and he slumped in the chair. Hopefully Ryan had gone upstairs to explain the situation to Alt-Geoff and Jack, or at least start trying to see if his feelings are returned.

That should give Geoff enough time to break out of here.

The zip-ties weren’t in the best position to simply break out of- Geoff couldn’t get enough leverage. His arms were secured to the chair arms and he couldn’t get himself in a good enough position. He could, however, bend over and chew at the restraints. He couldn’t imagine that being all that great for his teeth but within a few minutes he had a sizeable dint in the restraints for his left hand.

Clenching his hand and ripping it forwards, the zip-tie snapped. Geoff did the same for his right hand and soon enough his hands was free.

If he fell forwards out of the chair, he could reach the knife Ryan dropped. Scraping it towards him with his fingertips, Geoff grabbed the knife and freed his legs.

He was out of the chair, but not free yet.

Geoff looked around. His journey down here was blurry, but the room looked very similar to the one he had in his own apartment complex. It hadn’t been used since they brought Jeremy in and he left them there for three hours. The thought of using it since then had turned Geoff’s stomach, so they’d converted it into a storage room.

But before that, before the Lads had moved in and given them some suggestions on improving the security of the room, it was unlockable from the inside by a pin-code very similar to the one on their front door.

This room had that same old setup. All he had to do was remember the pin and he could leave.

“Shit.” Geoff said quietly to himself. How was he supposed to remember a pin he’d invented five years ago?

Geoff input Jack’s birthday. 0-1-0-3.

The door didn’t open.

“I’m a fool.” Of course they would have changed it since then.

Well, they might not have.

He didn’t remember picking any pins but he did remember how he’d rolled his eyes at Jack’s suggestions to change the pin every month. He knew he’d forget them. Jack insisted they do it for the front door and Geoff had relented.

If only Jack were here. Even better, if Geoff were back with him.

Geoff remembered the first pin for the front door, now that he was thinking about it, and decided that was a good a guess as any. He tapped away at the pin pad.

4-3-6-8, which spelled out GENT.

The door beeped and swung open.

“Genius, Geoff.”

Thankfully there was nobody else around in the garage. Geoff spotted his Roosevelt and a sports car that looked like something Jack would like. One of them would make an excellent get-away vehicle, probably the Roosevelt because Geoff had a key that he knew unlocked it.

It was upstairs, with the rest of his stuff. As well as the edgier Gents of this universe.

Geoff had one knife.

Hopefully Ryan had done his job and convinced the other Gents Geoff and the Lads weren’t enemies. Geoff couldn’t leave without that piece of the device, and he wanted his other belongings too, but he didn’t really believe he could hurt any of the Gents for them. Or, really, that his knife would be much use.

Geoff climbed up the fire escape stairs with only a little difficulty. He was fit, the fittest he’d been in years, but there were still a hell of a lot of stairs to climb and his head throbbed.

It took a couple of tries, but Geoff found the correct password to the front door of the penthouse. He opened it slowly, ready to bolt if anything jumped out at him.

Nothing did. Geoff peeked around the side of the door and saw the main room, as well as the kitchen and dining rooms, were empty. His stuff sat on the dining room table.

Surely, all three of them wouldn’t have left the apartment? They hadn’t because Geoff saw the vehicles. Was it a trap of some sort? It didn’t seem likely.

Geoff grabbed his stuff off the table while he had the opportunity. The broken piece of the device still sat on the floor- probably unable to be picked up by anyone but him, if Jack’s earlier words were to be believed. Brandishing his Glock in front of him, he performed a quick sweep of the rooms around.

He stopped when he saw the door to the master bedroom shut tight.

Ah.

Geoff put his gun away and walked back to the dining room table. He patched up the device, made a sandwich from the contents of the fridge, and wrote a quick note saying he was gone. He also included some details about the Lads he hoped they’d use in good faith.

It was the least he could do for the group of people who were happy to torture him for information less than an hour ago, no matter how familiar they seemed. They could figure the rest of the Lad situation out themselves.

Geoff was going to wait out the time until the device charged somewhere sunny, probably the Del Perro Pier. No way was he waiting around here.

Geoff picked up the Roosevelt car keys and headed towards the elevator.

The world vibrated into focus and Geoff blinked into Alt-Geoff’s wide-eyed expression.

“Um,” Alt-Geoff said.

“Don’t worry,” Geoff said quickly, “I’m you, just from another universe. Please don’t shoot me.”

“I’m not gonna- why would I shoot you?” Alt-Geoff asked, recovering from his shock.

“It’s not a warning for you, it’s a warning for-“

Geoff looked around. He was on his old yacht, sitting on the floor next to the bar. Alt-Geoff sat alone on a barstool, a drink in his hand. There was no-one else around.

“Where’s Ryan?” Geoff asked.

A heavy look cross Alt-Geoff’s eyes. He took a long sip of his drink, eyeing Geoff carefully.

“You’re really from another universe, aren’t you.”

Geoff held up his left arm. The tape around the device’s broken piece had held this time around, and already the device was powering up again.

“Is he dead?”

“No, but… he left. Long before Ray did. Look, what are you doing here?”

“Trying to leave. I’ll be out of your hair in a few hours. I can explain everything. So do you remember that Zancudo job-“

“-Wait, you may as well explain it to everyone at once. I’ll get the others. Hey Jack? Gavin, Michael? Come over here!”

There was a distant shout from the other end of the boat. Alt-Geoff took another long drink.

“You don’t sound too… concerned about another you from a different universe visiting.” Geoff said.

“You’re not the weirdest thing to happen around here. Alien tech bullshit, I imagine.” Alt-Geoff replied.

“How did you know?”

“We’ve had more than our fair share. I don’t think I could possibly forget that Zancudo job. Drink?”

“No thanks,” Geoff said with a practiced ease, “I don’t do that anymore.”

Michael and Gavin were the first to reach the bar area, and when they spotted the two Geoffs they stopped dead.

They looked identical to the Michael and Gavin of Geoff’s universe. Geoff swallowed around a lump in his throat.

“Guys,” Alt-Geoff said, “Meet Geoff, he’s me from another dimension.”

“Hey boys,” Geoff waved at them, “just passing through. But I hear you lot know about the alien technology?”

“Uhhh.” Michael said. “Hmm. Yes. We do. Well, Gus knows more than us.”

“Then I need to talk to Gus as soon as possible.”

Gavin pointed to the device on Geoff’s arm. “Second Geoff. What’s that there?”

“Device that sends me through dimensions. It takes a few hours to charge.”

“Huh.”

Gavin bit his lip. He looked between the two Geoffs.

“Do you know what I’m thinking?”

Both Geoffs sighed.

“Yes, we do.” Alt-Geoff said.

“Unfortunately.” Geoff said. “I’m not cheating on my Gavin with you…” Geoff paused for a moment, thinking. “…Eighth Gavin? Ninth?”

“What if you shagged Geoff? Like, our Geoff. Is that cheating?”

“Excuse me,” Jack said, “but what the fuck is going on over here?”

Alt-Geoff sighed. “I only want to do this once, so we should explain everything with Gus present.”

“Fine with me.” Geoff said. “When can we leave?”

“Ryan was wearing gloves,” Jack said. “He never physically touched the device.”

“As much as anyone can physically touch something.” Gus added.

“Yeah, but the device didn’t care about that.”

“So he wasn’t part of the resets?” Geoff asked.

“Nope.” Michael answered. “Took us a little while to figure out how to get him to stop killing Gavin. Ray was smart enough to get behind cover. Then it took a bit more time to get me to stop killing Ryan.”

Gavin curled into Michael’s side on the couch. “For a while every reset started with a showdown between Ryan and me. Took us what, a dozen resets to sort out what was going on? Then Geoff and Jack found a way to talk him down.”

“We pretty much did what you did in your universe,” Michael continued, “got out, killed the Corpirate and all that, created the Fakes, and Ray had his experience with the device. Ryan left the very next day. He wasn’t going to be in a crew when he hated half of them.”

“Is he still active around here?” Geoff asked.

“Yep.” Alt-Geoff said. “But he won’t work with anyone anymore. Not even us. I think he felt betrayed, like Jack and I chose the Lads over him. In a way, I guess we did.”

“We changed and he didn’t.” Jack said. “I don’t blame him at all for leaving, but I miss him. We all do. We looked for him after Ray left, Gus managed to track him down, but then everything with Jeremy happened.”

Geoff almost spat out his coke. “That happened here too?”

“Did you end up brainwashing foreign royalty to avoid being assassinated by his guards?”

“Yep. But where’s Jeremy then?”

“He left too. Straight after. Shot himself in the head. Said now he knew how to save us, he had to do it for us in all the other universes too.”

A melancholy silence fell across the room.

“My Ryan killed a scientist before we ran into the Lads, in Zancudo.” Geoff said. “He took a glove off because it was covered in blood and he was with us for all of the resets. Him and Jeremy did some exploring together after getting info from The Inconvenience and accidentally contacted Ray. He was able to help us confront Prince James, gave Jeremy some advice, and we haven’t seen Ray since. That was three years ago.”

“So,” Alt-Geoff said quietly, “Your Ryan’s still around then? And Jeremy?”

Geoff nodded. “We ended up doing what you four’re doing, just with six. In my universe, Ryan loved the Lads as much as Jack and I. Here, I have a picture-“

Geoff froze, the blood draining from his face.

“You alright there?” Gavin asked.

Geoff rummaged through all his pockets, but he knew it was gone.

“My phone. I left it in the other universe.”

He slumped boneless against the couch.

“Great, now that’s gone forever. I didn’t get it back from Ryan.”

“We can get you another phone-“ Alt-Geoff started, but Geoff cut him off.

“I don’t have any photos of them anymore. I mean, I backed them all up but…”

“But they’re not here.” Jack finished.

“They’re not.”

“We’ll get you back to them.” Alt-Geoff promised. “Or to the right Mt Gordo. Whatever you need.”

Geoff sat up straight. “I need Gus to tell me everything about this device on my arm. I need to learn how to control it and get back to where I need to be.”

“Come on then,” Gus said, “We’ll talk downstairs.”

Gus’s basement looked a lot like… Gus’s basement. Tables were set up to hold various pieces of alien tech, and there was an experiment set up against the far wall. But while Gus’s basement was filled with alien tech, both active and destroyed, this Gus’s basement was almost bare. Geoff recognised the invisibility suit from one of the ED-Garde, and quite a few alien guns. He saw one completely busted pellet storage container, but that was it.

“Where’s all the stuff from Zancudo?” Geoff asked.

“You mean the laser cannon and the shield?” Michael clarified. “We keep them at the penthouse.”

“No, I meant the stuff from the second time. The pellet storage containers, the future cubes, you know. Or what about the alien tech from Prince James’ research outposts? The other one of these?” Geoff pointed to his left arm.

“…Second time?” Gavin said. “What do you mean second time?”

“Did you get stuck in Zancudo again?!” Alt-Geoff exclaimed.

“No! But Jeremy took us back to get pellet storage containers. For the guns? So we could take out the ED-Garde?”

“That’s not how we did it.” Michael said. “Jeremy convinced Colmillo Blanco to turn against Prince James. We separated him from his ED-Garde, used the helmet on him, and then used his alien EMP on the ED-Garde.”

“I… huh. Whatcha do about Colmillo Blanco afterwards?”

“Nothing. We gave them territory along the west coast and haven’t had any major problems with them since.”

“Oh. We uh, we wiped them out.”

“Then how did you handle all the new crews that popped up? We struggled with a lot of them.”

“We made them our allies instead.”

“Smart.”

“If you’re done gasbagging,” Gus interrupted, “Do you want to hear my thoughts on all this or what?”

Alt-Geoff and Geoff raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, you love gossip.” They said simultaneously, then looked at each other.

‘Go on,” Jack urged Gus.

“For starters, you can stop calling that thing a cube device.” Gus said. “It’s obviously a hypercube.”

“Hypercube?”

“It’s a fourth dimensional cube. Look at the way it moves- nothing else moves like that.”

“Oh.” Geoff said. “I know that.”

“You… knew.”

“Just didn’t know what it was called, is all. The fact that it worked after I broke a piece off kinda told me that.”

“Just shut up and let me talk for a few minutes, okay?”

“Alright, fine.”

“So this is a fourth dimensional cube. I think it’s attached to some fourth dimensional part of you, okay? You can’t use the fourth spacial dimension so you can’t remove it.”

“You think I’m fourth dimensional as well?”

“Why else wouldn’t it come off?”

“I don’t know. Magnets?”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Now that he thought about, Geoff recalled the Gus from his universe saying something about a theory of his that was similar.

Gus moved to a table and picked up something off it. It took Geoff a couple of seconds to place it as Prince James’ sword. Very much in one piece, it glowed a gentle cyan as Gus brandished it.

“Uhhh…” Geoff said, taking a step back.

“Calm down. I have a theory about this sword and this might be the best time to test it.”

Michael took a hesitant step between them. “What are you trying to do, Gus?”

“Previous testing has shown this sword cuts through alien tech- tech that works in four dimensions. If I’m careful, I can probably cut the hypercube off him without hurting his three-dimensional self.”

“What about the part of me that’s fourth dimensional?!” Geoff shouted.

“No human’s ever used it before. You’ll probably be fine.”

“Uh, no.” Alt-Geoff said. “Nobody’s cutting any piece off anyone else here today. Not even in the name of science.”

“Second Geoff,” Gavin said, piping up for the first time, “You said Prince James had research outposts? Is that where you found the hypercube?”

“I think so.”

“How about we check them out and see if we can find the hypercube from this universe? We can do tests with it without anybody getting their fourth-dimensional arm cut off.”

“I don’t want this device off me. I just need to know how to use it, so as long as the testing doesn’t involve that sword… fine. After we beat Prince James, each outpost we found was abandoned. I don’t imagine anyone causing trouble for us if we poked around in them.”

Geoff straightened his back.

“This day just never ends, does it.”

Alt-Geoff looked at his watch. “It’s getting pretty late. Why doesn’t one of us take you back to the penthouse and you get some rest? We’ll check out the outposts.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. You’ve had a rough enough day. Let me take you home.”

“Alright, but let me know as soon as you find something.”

It was all Geoff could do to keep his eyes open for the majority of the way home. Alt-Geoff pointed him in the direction of the spare bedroom after Geoff had instinctively walked to the master bedroom.

It was weird, seeing Jeremy’s room once again Ray’s old room, just sparser. Most of Ray’s leftover things had been put in storage, but his old bed and desk remained. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.

When he opened his eyes again, it was to sunlight coming in through a window. The room was quite warm. It was probably later in the day than he expected.

He showered, shaved, and when he came back there were fresh clothes waiting for him on the bed. One of Alt-Geoff’s suits, maybe even the exact same one from his universe that he wore yesterday, just one not completely covered in dirt and grime. He transferred his stuff from his old clothes to the new set, carefully checking it was all there.

Glock, spare magazine, knife, wallet, keys, breath mints, tape, and the thin box. Okay. He was ready to face the world.

This kinder one, at least.

The four Fakes were milling about the main area, clearly waiting for him. Jack and Michael played the new Red Dead on the TV while Alt-Geoff and Gavin looked over a pile of alien tech on the dining room table.

“Did you find it?” Geoff asked. Michael and Jack paused their game.

“No.” Alt-Geoff replied. “We found a bunch of tech that Gus is gonna drool over, but we didn’t see any cubes at all. Yes, we checked all the rooms from multiple angles, just in case it disappeared from some of them.”

Michael came over to the dining room, with Jack following along behind. “We also found the location to another outpost, but there was nothing there either. I think it’d been picked clean before us.”

Geoff tried to hide his disappointment but Jack, perceptive as always, saw right through him.

“We’re not out of options. I bet there’s a few more outposts neither of us have found-“

“No.” Geoff shook his head. “If it wasn’t in one of the ones uncovered in my universe, it won’t be in any new ones. That means we found it somewhere else.”

“Where else could you have?”

“I guess the second time I was in Zancudo? I threw a lot of future cubes. It’s not unlikely I picked a few more things up then I intended.”

He didn’t remember seeing it on the table with Jeremy’s device before the experiment. Could the hypercube have stayed in a future cube until the right moment for him to fall into it? Gus brought a future cube downstairs with him to do the shadow demonstration. Had it acted on its own, like the devices did?

Was there anything Geoff could have done to avoid ending up right here and now?

Except he was meant to be at Mt Gordo. Changing universes with the first device wasn’t accompanied with the strong feeling of wrongness, and the ripping sensations.

Whatever was planned for him had gone terribly wrong, and it hadn’t stopped.

He needed something better than another hypercube and Gus’s wild guesses. He needed a helmet. One that wouldn’t melt his brain as soon as he wore it. Something he could use to take control of the hypercube, like Gavin did with the ED-Garde tech.

“I’m sorry,” Alt-Geoff said, “but I won’t ask anyone here to go back to Zancudo.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to either.” Geoff said. “I don’t suppose you’d have any of those alien helmets still lying around?”

“We destroyed both of them.” Michael said. “Okay, well, I didn’t really mean to destroy the Corpirate’s one, but Jeremy said the other was too dangerous to use again.”

“Fair enough.”

“Hey,” Gavin said, and passed Geoff a phone. “I picked up one of these for you. Take a look at the pictures, would you? I know it’s not… what you lost, but it’s what our Geoff said he’d want…”

Geoff nodded his thanks and unlocked the phone. There were three pictures in the gallery. The first one Geoff actually recognised, because it was framed in his master bedroom. It was a shot of the three Gents, shortly before running into the Lads for the first time. Geoff and Jack were smiling into the camera, and a rarely-unmasked Ryan was smirking at them in the background.

The next photo was of the four remaining Fakes posing in front of a new motorbike. Over the bottom of the image a banner read “Happy Birthday Gavin!”. There was some sort of filter over the top.

The last image was of the living room just a few metres away. The top right half of Jack’s face sat in the foreground while Michael, Gavin, and Jeremy played Hitman on the couch.

It wasn’t them. It wasn’t the right them. It made something hot and scratchy build in Geoff’s throat. But until he could get back to his own universe, it was the best he was going to get.

“Thank you, they’re perfect.” Geoff said.

His eyes lingered over the photo of Jeremy.

“Did you bury him?” he asked softly.

Gavin shook his head. “Cremated with his device, ashes in the ocean.”

“You cremated his device as well? What happened to it after Jeremy changed universes?”

“He… changed universes and it sort of exploded with a red light. Michael says he thought he saw it split into two, like, make a copy of itself before it did, but nobody else saw it. Shattered into a hundred tiny pieces. We put them with the ashes.”

“Probably the safest thing to do. So that’s what happens in the universe left behind.”

Geoff looked at the device on his arm.

“I don’t think there’s anything more you can do to help me. I should get a move on.”

“You don’t have to leave this universe behind too.” Alt-Geoff said. “We talked it over last night, and if you want to stay, you’re welcome to. We’ll still help you try and get back, but we could definitely use another Geoff. I wouldn’t mind halving my workload.”

Geoff smiled again, showing teeth, but knew the fact he couldn’t accept was written all over his face.

“Thanks for the offer, but I can’t leave my family behind. Speaking of, I reckon you should give contacting Ryan another go. He’s worth the fight.”

Jack nodded. “We’ll try.”

With that, Geoff made his goodbyes, and spun the hypercube into action.

Ashes.

Geoff opened his eyes to a world of black and grey and white.

Alt-Geoff’s wild eyes stared back, but he recovered quickly and pulled Geoff to his feet.

“Come on,” Alt-Geoff said with a hoarse voice, “we gotta go, we gotta go,”

“Where?” Geoff said, then coughed.

Michael appeared from the haze, the laser cannon on his arm. Blood poured sluggishly from a wound on his neck. Tears left streaks of wet ash down his white-dusted face.

“Not the sewers.” Michael said. “Buried. We need to get out of the city.”

“Where’re the others?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“Jack didn’t make it. I’m sorry Geoff, I don’t know about anyone else.”

Alt-Geoff stumbled, and Geoff wrapped his arms around his middle. Hauling him up, Geoff pulled him up a curb and he leaned against a building.

Michael recognised Geoff.

“Are you real?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you can help. Our next best bet is Gus’s house. We need to-“

Three helicopters pierced the gloom and whipped the air into a storm. Geoff covered his face and staggered backwards a few paces.

Michael shut one eye, aimed, and released a beam that crossed the sky like a meteor.

It hit two of the helicopters, sending them spiralling towards the ground, as well as the corners of two adjacent buildings. They all fell onto the street with a crash.

The final helicopter released a stream of bullets in retaliation, and Michael fell apart. His body hit the street with a wet splash of blood, a few stray droplets hitting Geoff’s face.

Geoff and Alt-Geoff stood frozen, unable to look away from the corpse.

This might’ve saved their lives as, the helicopter seeing no more movement, moved on.

The dust settled around them once more.

Alt-Geoff collapsed to the footpath, a low, unending keening noise ripping from his throat.

“We have to go,” Geoff choked out.

It wasn’t his Michael.

It wasn’t his Michael.

But it was Michael’s tattoos, and Michael’s clothes, and Michael’s phone lying in a pile of rubbish by the curb, and it was Michael’s blood coating the ground and there would be no red flash to make all this go away.

Michael’s laser cannon.

Alt-Geoff had a secure grip on a fistful of Geoff’s jacket. Geoff tugged it free and the pocket tore loose. The breath mints scattered on the ground.

Michael’s laser cannon.

Geoff forced his legs to approach the body. A bit of bone- a vertebrae- caught Geoff’s eye through the rest of the gore.

Michael’s laser cannon.

It fell from Michael’s arm when Geoff pulled it off. A trickle of blood fell out of it. He tried to put it over his left arm but the hypercube stopped it. No point pointing it on his right arm. He wouldn’t be able to aim it well enough.

Geoff’s laser cannon.

He shoved it into Alt-Geoff’s arms.

“If any more helicopters come, you have to fend them off, okay?”

Alt-Geoff stared past him at Michael.

Geoff hauled him up and spun him around until they were eye to eye. Geoff waited until Alt-Geoff’s eyes locked on his.

He repeated himself.

“O-okay.” Alt-Geoff stuttered out. “We gotta go.”

One hand around Alt-Geoff’s waist, they disappeared into the ash.

Gus’s house was empty.

At least, Geoff assumed so until Alt-Geoff pointed towards the basement stairs. They made their way down and looked up to the confused eyes of Ryan and Jeremy.

Alt-Geoff fell into Ryan, who caught him before he could fall further.

“Geoff?” Jeremy asked. “What’s going on? Who’s- woah.”

“I’m him,” Geoff said, when Alt-Geoff didn’t reply. “from another universe. Passed through at the wrong time. What the fuck’s happening out there?”

“King James happened.”

“What?”

“He’s bombing Los Santos.”

“Did you see the others?” Ryan asked, but his eyes became downcast when he saw the cannon on Alt-Geoff’s arm. “You’re the first Fake we’ve seen since it all started.”

“Jack’s dead. I don’t know how. We saw Michael get cut in half by a shot from a helicopter. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to say that any easier. They’re both dead. We haven’t seen any others.”

Jeremy curled around Ryan and Alt-Geoff, holding them close.

“It’s my fault.” Alt-Geoff said. “Everyone’s dead because of me. It’s over.”

His legs gave out. Ryan struggled to support his suddenly limp weight. A hand fell to his stomach and came away red.

“He’s been hit by something.” Ryan said. “Come on, help me lay him out on the table.”

Only the faintest of tremors in his voice gave away how he felt.

Jeremy sniffed, but helped him. Together they laid him out and Jeremy lifted up his shirt and grimaced at the wound.

“What do we do, Ryan? Jack’s dead. Oh fuck, Jack’s dead.”

“Please, Jeremy, I need you here. Focus for me, okay?”

“Okay, Ryan. What now?”

“We need pressure, here and here. Can you find something clean to press on the wound?”

“I’ll look around.”

Jeremy brushed past Geoff and it jolted Geoff from his stillness. He had to help. How could he help? His covered in dust and ash, and he didn’t have near enough medical training for Alt-Geoff, considering the amount of blood that was now dripping out of him.

Water. Gus kept a bunch of water bottles in his laundry. Geoff bolted up the stairs and carried back with him as many as he could. He passed one to Ryan, who began to clean the wound.

“Thank you.”

“Ryan,” Geoff said, “Why is this happening? Why does your Geoff say it’s his fault?”

Jeremy returned with some white shirts and a first aid kit.

“James wants the rest of the alien tech. And Geoff sold him a device that lets him try and try again until he gets whatever he wants.”

“You-“ Geoff cut himself off, and tried again. “Was this after Zancudo? You sold the device to him? After what it did?”

“Before my time.” Jeremy gave Alt-Geoff a concerned look. “I assume he had a good reason.”

“I still don’t get why Prince James is bombing the city.”

“King James. And I think he’s drawing the military away from Zancudo. They have a hell of a lot of alien tech down there.”

The front door creaked open.

“Hello?” Lindsay’s voice called out.

“Lindsay!” Ryan replied. “We’re down here. Shut the door behind you.”

Lindsay came down the stairs and stopped dead.

“Which one is the original?”

Everyone pointed at Alt-Geoff on the table.

“Shit. Where is everyone else?”

“I’m sorry.” Geoff said. “Jack and Michael are dead.”

“Fuck, fucking-“

Lindsay sunk to her knees.

Geoff wrapped his arms around her.

“Gavin should be here.” Lindsay whispered. “He left ages before me. If he isn’t here…”

“We’ll wait for him as long as we can.” Ryan promised. His hands were covered in blood.

“We can’t stay here?”

“Not for too much longer. This place is small and hidden, but not that well hidden. Nobody drove here, did you?”

Geoff and Lindsay confirmed they didn’t. Geoff decided it was too risky, with the helicopters flying around. He probably would have risked a motorbike if he knew Alt-Geoff was injured. As it was, they stayed away from open spaces, snuck through suburbia, and hiked up the side of the mountain to Gus’s.

“That should keep us safe a little while longer, but I’d bet the King knows about this place thanks to that helmet of his, if not the exact location. He’ll want the research and what’s stored here. We need to leave before he gets here.”

Lindsay stood up, shaking Geoff’s arms away.

“Then we need to destroy as much of it as we can before he does. The laser cannon will take care of most of it, and we can burn this place to the ground when we leave.”

“That will draw them right here.” Jeremy said.

“We can’t give him what he wants!” Lindsay argued. “He took Michael and Jack and Burnie from us. Gavin is probably dead. We can’t give him this place. We can’t.”

“Lindsay.” Jeremy placed his hands on her shoulders. “He’ll kill us. Do you understand that?”

A cold resolve overtook Lindsay. She squared her shoulders.

“You guys leave as soon as you can. I’ll give you a few hours to get away and then I’ll torch this place myself.”

“Lindsay-“ Jeremy started.

“Zip it. I can make my own choices. Now, where’s the rest of this alien tech. I want to make a pile.”

Lindsay climbed back up the stairs and busied herself searching the house.

“Jeremy,” Ryan said, “I need you here.”

“… Right, sorry. Where do I hold?”

Geoff made no move to get off the floor. Burnie was dead. Gavin was most likely dead. Lindsay would be dead soon. He knew better than to try and change her mind.

Los Santos was destroyed.

Prince James was coming for them.

“Ryan, he won’t stop bleeding.” Jeremy said after a little while.

“I know, I know, but if we hold on a little longer-“

-“I think the damage is internal. We need a hospital, or a nurse or something. I don’t think we’re actually helping him.”

“No-“

“-Ryan. He’s not breathing.”

“No!”

Ryan took a saturated shirt off the wound and pressed a fresh one in. Blood dripped off the table and onto the floor.

“If we just- we need more gauze. He needs-“ Ryan stopped talking.

Jeremy grabbed his arms and pulled him away. Ryan allowed Jeremy to lead him to Geoff and sit him down next to him.

Jeremy placed one of the clean shirts over Alt-Geoff’s upper half.

“Geoff.” Jeremy said.

Geoff looked up at him.

Jeremy wiped his bloodied hands on his pants. “What do we do?”

“I don’t-“

“Don’t you fucking dare say you don’t know.”

Geoff swallowed heavily. He looked at the hypercube on his arm but eventually he dragged his eyes away. “The choppers Prince James has are Annihilators. I know NOOSE headquarters have a few. If we steal one, we might be able to get to an airstrip without getting shot to pieces.”

“There’s a little private one at Grapeseed.” Jeremy said. “Just past the Alamo Sea. Do you think they’d have planes there?”

“Probably. Ryan and I know how to pilot larger aircraft. If there’s one there, we might be able to get to the mainland.”

“Okay. That sounds… good. We’re gonna be okay.”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy destroyed the pile of alien tech Lindsay found with the laser cannon. They gave her a short goodbye and left with whatever they could carry. They headed east. Geoff knew where NOOSE headquarters were in relation to Gus’s house.

They stopped when it got dark and began again in the morning. The time in between allowed them a private moment to grieve.

Ryan hadn’t said a word the entire time.

“How much further, do you reckon?” Jeremy asked. He scratched the side of his head with the laser cannon, which he hadn’t taken off.

“We’re about three miles out, if I recognise that road. Which, I think I do.”

“How do you know so much about the land around NOOSE headquarters?”

“You told me.”

“I did?”

“In my universe, you spent a lot of time trying to kill the Fakes for Prince James. After that, you spent a hell of a long time trying to save us from his ED-Garde. Quite a few of your attempts involved helicopters from there, and we’ve utilised your knowledge since then. Always nice to know where the helicopters are on this island.”

“Am I pretty similar to your Jeremy?”

Geoff managed to smile at him. “Almost indistinguishable. But you don’t have his world-weariness that comes from getting stuck in a time loop. How did you end up leaving Prince James and joining the Fakes in this universe?”

“A couple of months after Geoff sold James the device, he hired me to kill him. I wanted to move up in his ranks, so I agreed. But you convinced me not to. You told me to try being a Fake first and I loved it. I mean, not you, Geoff, I mean my Geoff.”

“I call him Alt-Geoff in my head.”

“And then I slowly fell in love with Alt-Geoff and the others. Haven’t looked back. Even after yesterday, I don’t regret becoming a Fake. Anything was better than spending the rest of my life serving James, I came to realise.”

“Even getting stuck with the Fakes?”

Jeremy cracked a smile. “Are your Fakes… together, like mine were?”

Geoff nodded. “Ray included, until he left. You came later. I think it was just after Zancudo the second time that I figured out you were something special.”

“Zancudo the second time?”

Geoff started to explain, then backtracked and explained everything since he first met Jeremy at the docks. It was an interesting if not confusing story, and Geoff was happy to have someone he could tell the whole thing to. Someone who understood.

“So James has a working device, even if it’s in a terrible condition.”

“Yep.” Geoff confirmed.

“I wonder why he offered millions of dollars for the other one then? What can he do with two that he can’t with one?”

“I don’t think it’s about using them, Jeremy.” Geoff said.

“It’s about stopping everyone else from using it.” Ryan said. His voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “The King James from your universe shows he doesn’t like using them himself. He just doesn’t want them to stop him.”

He looked at Geoff.

“Alt-Geoff sold King James the device because he claimed he could deactivate it without destroying it. Guess that turned out to be true. Geoff wanted the deactivated device back after a certain period of time to see if he could get visions like Ray did, but we know how that turned out.”

“Did Michael not destroy the device straight after Ray had those visions?”

“Not in our universe. King James, but he was still a Prince then I guess, got in contact with us the night before. We were more cautious with the device’s destruction after that.”

“Good to see you’re back with us, Ryan.” Jeremy said. “How are you holding up?”

“I’ll live. I know what we have to do next.”

“What?”

“Isn’t it obvious? King James isn’t using the devices. If we take out Zancudo before he gets to the heart of it, he’ll never get it back. Either of his two devices used after that can’t save Zancudo if it was destroyed beforehand.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy said. “How the hell are we gonna do that?”

“The same way Geoff did in his universe.” Ryan replied, pointing to the laser cannon.

The rest of the way to NOOSE headquarters was filled with quiet plans and all the details Geoff could provide about Zancudo. Once they came around the last mountain and the headquarters came into view, the talk stopped. There didn’t seem to be much activity going on- presumably most of their number had gone to fight King James.

Geoff knew of a back way in that didn’t trip any security alarms. There was a section of chain-link fence unattached to the security system, and it was easy to cut loose and peel back. Ryan frowned slightly when he saw the knife in Geoff’s hand but he didn’t say anything. Geoff made sure to carefully attach the fence back to its base.

It was still fairly early in the morning, so the shadows of vehicles and industry equipment helped them enter undetected. A lone guard wandered past but Ryan dealt with him before he could make a noise.

There was a dumpster up against a single storey building adjoining the main complex. Geoff and Ryan climbed up, and helped Jeremy join them. Together they gave him enough height to climb onto the roof and he hauled them up after him.

From there a decrepit looking ladder, or a fire escape of some sort, led to the roof. It had a cage around it with a pin pad lock but Geoff had used it three or four times before. An old code for an old, unused fire escape didn’t get changed very often, especially if the majority of the building’s occupants didn’t know it was there. The result of overworked and underpaid IT departments.

On the roof, an Annihilator sat waiting for them.

“It’s funny,” Jeremy said softly, “You’d think they would’ve fixed a security flaw like this after the first time you used it.”

“Only if they figure out how you did it.”

Plus a government agency that gets helicopters stolen from it once or twice a year tends to start to cover that up. Geoff is sure they have a set amount ready to write off each year thanks to the Fakes.

Geoff climbed into the pilot’s seat and prepped the Annihilator for take-off. Once everyone was ready, he took off as quickly as he dared and headed north east, towards Zancudo.

Zancudo rested at the base of Mount Josiah, a mountain with many craggy peaks and hidden valleys. Geoff followed the river down towards Zancudo, sticking close to the water. The ocean winds tossed the chopper around enough for Geoff to have to fight with the controls, but he managed.

As soon as Zancudo came into sight Geoff pulled up out of the valley and behind the protection of Mount Josiah. The airspace above Zancudo was crawling with helicopters and the ground scattered with evidence of a fight. Very low to the ground, Geoff hovered just to the side of a peak and turned to let Jeremy see Zancudo out the side.

“Are we close enough?” Ryan shouted to be heard over the wind. He sat in the gunner position, controlling two of the miniguns.

“We’re about half a mile away- that should be enough to reach most of the facility.” Geoff replied. “Ready when you are. You remember where to aim?” He directed at Jeremy.

“I do.”

Jeremy aimed the laser cannon and fired.

A cyan beam hurtled through the sky and disappeared into one of Zancudo’s runways. The beam snapped to the right and bisected a watchtower and two hangars. The light from the beam was obstructed by various aircraft exploding, a harsh red and yellow light engulfing it. Jeremy aimed the beam lower, cutting deep into the ground, until it finally petered out.

Jeremy let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Alright,” Jeremy said, “duck around this peak and we’ll do it again at the next-“

“Incoming!” Ryan shouted.

Geoff peeled away from the mountaintop just as two helicopters approached and returned fire. Ryan managed to take down one with a minigun while Jeremy took care of the other. Geoff banked hard from the slope and flew towards a new peak.

As soon as Jeremy could see over the top of the peak, he let loose with the laser cannon. The beam tore into the bulk of the remaining buildings and a section below caved in, swallowing a building whole.

Six helicopters turned to face them and Geoff baulked at the sight.

“Right, I think that’s as much as we can do. Take out as many as you can and we’ll lose the rest up the coast.”

Jeremy’s laser cannon ripped one in half and sent the cockpit falling into another, causing them both to spiral down together. Another got close enough to return fire and Ryan gunned it down.

An errant air current swung the tail around, and Geoff gained altitude to regain control. One of the choppers suddenly shot forwards and fired its miniguns into the tail rotor system.

Ryan managed to get some bullets in the pilot before Geoff’s Annihilator hit the side of the mountain and tumbled down it.

Geoff tried to keep his limbs tucked in close, as much as he could for the duration of the crash. He knew he and Ryan were strapped in- Jeremy was not.

They didn’t fall far. Geoff was flying close to the ground and the chopper caught on a rock on the way down to the valley. The abrupt stop made Geoff bang his head against the headrest. He groaned, unclipped his harness and slid out of his seat onto the grass.

“Geoff?” Jeremy called out.

Geoff made his eyes focus on the voice a little way above him up the mountain. Jeremy was about twenty feet away, one of his legs twisted at an odd angle. He’d fallen out of the helicopter during the crash.

Jeremy pointed back towards the wrecked chopper.

“Ryan’s stuck, I can see him, please, can you-“

The three remaining helicopters approached.

Geoff looked where Jeremy pointed and saw Ryan tangled up in the metal of the gunner’s seat. He looked at Geoff with pleading eyes.

Geoff looked back at the helicopters.

Their miniguns would be in range soon. Seconds.

Geoff held his left arm up in front of him.

“Geoff?”

Refusing to look at either of them, Geoff spun the hypercube.

The world dissolved into billions of tiny strings and then nothing.

Geoff opened his eyes to Alt-Geoff’s shocked expression.

“What the fuck?!” Alt-Geoff exclaimed.

“I left them.” Geoff said. “I just- I left them there- what kind of-“

He threw up.

Chapter Text

“Are you alright?” Ryan asked.

Geoff wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His left hand, and he took a moment to stare at it.

“Hypercube fragment fell off again. I don’t- I lost the tape. It’s gone.”

“Are you real?” Michael said.

Geoff stopped dead and looked at him. “Are you?”

“I-“

-“Because I watched an Annihilator tear you apart with a minigun. You were alive one second and the next you were a pile of guts and bones. And I stole a weapon from your corpse.”

“I didn’t-“

-“Don’t fucking lie to me!”

Strong hands gripped his shoulders and manhandled him into a sitting position on a couch. The same hands cupped his jaw and lifted his chin and Geoff was forced to stare into Ryan’s eyes.

“You need to calm down.”

Geoff took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Careful,” Jack said from somewhere in the background, “he’s armed.”

“Where?” Ryan said.

“Gun. Waistband.”

Ryan carefully removed the Glock from his possession.

“Knife.” Geoff said.

“What?”

“I have a knife. Inner jacket pocket.”

Ryan took it too and it was only then Geoff let himself slide loose and boneless into his seat.

“I- sorry. Sorry. You don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“No, we don’t.” Alt-Geoff replied. “So you better start explaining. Why do you look like me? How did you get here?”

“Well hang on,” Ryan said, “can we give him a minute? Look at him. He looks like he’s come from a war zone.”

“A guy suddenly appears in our living room and you don’t want to know how he did it?”

“He’s obviously you, Geoff, so I don’t see why we need to instantly go into interrogation mode.”

Geoff winced a little.

Jack looked him up and down. “I think he’s going into shock. Are you okay? Are you bleeding?”

Geoff looked down at himself. His right side was covered in blood. Not his- Ryan’s, he guessed. His suit was still carrying a fair amount of dust and ashes, and small tears in the jacket revealed his blood and dirt-stained shirt. A final reminder of Alt-Geoff’s demise. He could feel the grit grind into the skin of his eyelids when he blinked. The movement of looking down on himself sent tiny streams of ashes falling from his hair onto his pants.

The back of his head throbbed.

“Most of it’s not mine.” Geoff said. “I- water. Can I-?”

Jack looked towards Alt-Geoff, who nodded in approval. Jack left for the kitchen and Geoff dropped his head into his hands, taking steady breaths. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the broken piece of the device, sitting innocently on the ground next to the coffee table.

“That thing on his arm,” Michael muttered, “Look how it’s moving. How is it doing that?”

“I don’t know,” Ryan replied. “I want to say magic, but…” he shrugged, “I can’t think of anything better.”

They didn’t know about the alien tech. They didn’t know about aliens, or other universes, or anything. Geoff knew he’d have to explain it all to them, but right now he couldn’t bear to think back over it all, especially the last few days. There was too much- it was too much right now. He couldn’t do all this right now.

Jack returned with a glass of water and handed it over. Geoff took it with a nod of thanks and took a small sip, focusing more on holding his hand steady than the cool feel of it down his throat.

He almost pulled a Jeremy- dumped the water over Jack, dashed out of the apartment- it would have been easy. Geoff was sure he could outrun everyone except maybe Michael, so he’d chuck the glass at him first. Duck out of Alt-Geoff’s way and lose them on the fire stairs. Wait a while and then make his way to a safehouse on the other side of the city somewhere. Hell, maybe even the same safehouse Jeremy ran to when they’d had that big fight a few years ago. It took a couple of days for the rest of the crew to track him down.

And then what? His possessions, including the broken piece of the device, were here. There was nothing to gain from running away. But that didn’t stop him wanting to; so much so that he gently placed the glass of water on the coffee table just in case he was tempted to throw it.

He couldn’t run. He shouldn’t, and while he thought he was doing a great job tamping down his panic his eyes slipped over Jack’s and his brow creased like he was in pain.

“Just… how about you go clean yourself up, Geoff.” Jack said. “You are Geoff, right?”

Geoff nodded.

Jack tilted his head at the rooms behind him. “Come back when you’re ready.”

Alt-Geoff and Michael began to protest but Jack smiled at him and gestured.

Jack, always understanding, always accommodating, always putting others before himself. Jack. He had the same kind eyes, the same smile, the same white hairs in his beard as the Jack he knew. The only difference was his Jack was missing a chunk of his ear from the fight with Prince James.

This Jack, he knew from one look, loved him. Or at least, loved a man who looked a lot like him.

As Geoff slipped away he almost reached out to touch his shoulder, or kiss him, but Jack moved out of the way and Geoff remembered he was a stranger. He grabbed that warm feeling, that fire that spread through his chest and curled around his ribs and stomach, heated his palms, flushed his cheeks, and he crushed it.

“So why just Alt-Geoff?” Michael asked, hours later when Geoff felt human again, “why don’t we get an Alt in front of our names?”

Geoff shrugged, his mouth full of Ryan’s incredible cooking. Evening had fallen and cast the lounge room in a warm orange haze. A shadow from a neighbouring skyscraper slowly but surely forced its way through the floor to ceiling windows and now a good third of the room was in shadow. The other six people in the room didn’t seem to notice or feel an urge to turn a light on- they were too engrossed in Geoff’s story.

The two extra people were Gavin and Jeremy, who let themselves in about an hour ago and Geoff had to start his whole spiel again.

But as soon as they stepped into the living room, it seemed to come alive. The other four Fakes from this universe lit up like bonfires, and a fog Geoff hadn’t been aware of cleared from his mind. To watch his own face shine with such warmth was surreal. He didn’t know he could look so happy, couldn’t believe how open he was to showing it. Happiness fit on his face like the last puzzle piece in the right place, or a book on a bookshelf, or the sun in the sky. The other five people he lived with brought something shining out of his soul and he looked a little less tired, a little younger, a little more vibrant. The same could be said for the other Fakes.

This was the first time Geoff saw all six of them, together, clearly, and it felt like he was watching his own life on video. The people he knew and adored swanning around like they owned the place, which they did, laughing and joking and fixing dinner, swatting wandering hands away from toppings and vegetables, sharing inside jokes that Geoff understood, that Geoff was sick of, that Geoff invented.

This must be how everyone else saw them.

It was all he could do to sit on that couch and keep talking. The wave of loneliness that hit him, sharp and hard like a bullet but without the wet warmth, almost floored him. To carry on, without his own Fakes, was suddenly a punch in the gut that ripped right through him. He wanted them the same way he wanted to leave Zancudo: it was the driving force of his existence. There was this or there was nothing.

Jack was probably right- he was in shock. Emotions all over the place.

So he watched them talk, and touch, and wrap around each other, and he talked at them like there wasn’t an insurmountable gulf between them, a disconnect so large it spanned universes, and answered Michael’s question:

“I dunno, I guess you just remind me too much of the Fakes in my universe? I mean, you look pretty similar, heh heh.”

This was, Geoff realised, what his universe would’ve looked like without alien tech making a mess of it.

The Roosevelt was cramped with seven people sitting in it, and Geoff was uncomfortably squished between Ryan and Jeremy. Jeremy, who joined the crew to help them deal with Colmillo Blanco and never left. There was no Prince James, no evil Corpirate, at least none that Gavin could prove, no downed UFOs. Zancudo still existed, as did Arcadius and the Mile High Tower, which was torn down in Geoff's universe due to structural concerns.

Alt-Geoff and Jack were on their way to meet with Funhaus, and the others were accompanying Geoff to grab some supplies he said he needed.

“I need a bug-out bag,” Geoff explained, after they'd dropped the other two off and parked in the shopping complex. “I'm getting pretty sick of explaining everything every three hours or so, so I want a camera and some USBs or something. And the strongest superglue we can find. You know what else? I wanna put a tracker in all my shit. Can’t afford to keep leaving stuff behind.”

“Have you also considered, like, food and water?” Michael asked. “in case you get stuck in another hellhole.”

“That’s a good idea. Some medical supplies too. Maybe another gun.”

“You should get a satellite phone,” Ryan said. “at least, a phone that works everywhere. Just in case. And a more casual jacket. Sunglasses.”

“Fake IDs!” Gavin cut in. “I can make them up in a couple of hours. Just tell me what you want them to say.”

“I wouldn’t want to put Gus out of a job,” Geoff retorted.

“Gus makes fake Ids?”

“I don’t know if he makes them, but he certainly has them. A couple for the Corpirate’s employees, at least, and a few others.”

They didn’t end up finding something to help Geoff track all his belongings. But they got most of his other requirements and a sturdy backpack, which didn’t look nice at all next to Geoff’s suit, but he refused to change. It was his style, dammit.

Once they’d fucked around there for a few hours, and picked up Geoff and Jack, they had lunch at a burger place Jeremy recommended. It was nice, as quiet as the middle of the city could get during the day, and they were close enough to the water to get that sea breeze and the faint waft of the ocean. Geoff took a bite out of his burger and heard a noise in the sky and his head spun in that direction so fast he was sure, afterwards, that he pulled a muscle.

“What?” Jack said. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Helicopter. Surprised me.” Geoff muttered, and put his burger down, appetite gone.

The helicopter passed by harmlessly overhead, its underbelly partly obscured by the skyscrapers below it. Only once the sound if the motors faded away did Geoff’s shoulders relax and he sagged low in his seat.

Odd reaction. Clearly there must be some lingering stress over yesterday’s events, but Geoff frowned to himself. He hadn’t had a reaction like that to the helicopters after Zancudo. Why was he having one now?

Was this going to be a thing? Geoff didn’t have time for a thing. Could he have one day, God, one day where there wasn’t a thing?

Yesterday was hard enough. One day, he wanted, where he didn’t have to think about some bullshit. One day of pseudo-normality. With the Fakes. Not his Fakes, of course. The fake Fakes.

It was probably a metaphor or something. For, something. Geoff didn’t know.

“What’s wrong with the helicopter?” Michael asked.

“Nothing! The helicopter’s fine! The helicopter’s fine, and we’re fine, and it’s all fine.” Geoff said, too much fire in his words.

The rest of the group took a long pause. If they made any secret signals at each other, Geoff missed them because he was too busy trying to pick all the sesame seeds off the burger bun.

“Geoff,” Ryan said in a low voice, “If you need to talk about something-“

“-I don’t have anything to say to you.” Geoff cut him off, still with too much venom.

“Hey, take it easy. I’m just trying to help.”

“I know, I know.” Geoff finally pushed the burger away from him. “I have learned the importance of communication again and again and again. I have a great network of people I can talk to about anything, with no judgement. But they’re not here. And you are not a replacement.”

“But you should-“

“-And you know what else? They also understood that not everything under the fucking sun had to be discussed and they were happy to give each other a sense of privacy. It’s called boundaries. Maybe you should try them sometimes.”

“Geoff.” Ryan said, pulling a face.

Geoff sighed.

“You’ll have to excuse me if, after spending several days in fear of a helicopter passing overhead and shooting the shit out of me or one of you, they put me on edge a little bit.”

Ryan and Jack exchanged a look, but something in Jack’s expression must’ve calmed Ryan, because he didn’t press any more, and none of the others did either.

Geoff ate his burger in peace.

After lunch they stopped by an Ammunation. Geoff picked up some more ammunition for his Glock, as well as a set of light armour. He’d decided to forgo the second gun, as his bag was heavy enough already.

On a whim, he gave his credit card to the cashier and was mildly surprised to see it was accepted.

“Well, well, well,” Geoff said, laughing to himself. “Would you look at that. My credit card still works.”

“But,” Ryan said, “who’s account is it connected to? Our Geoff’s?”

“Sweet!” Michael called out, and picked up a knife that looked like an antique. “Universe jumping Geoff can cover the rest of the shopping.”

“Oh no,” Alt-Geoff said, “nuh uh. Hey, can I have a look at that card for a sec?”

Gavin dropped a stack of body armour on the counter and snatched the card from Geoff’s fingers. He passed it to the cashier, who accepted it with a politely confused expression at the proceedings. Alt-Geoff tried to reach for it but Gavin planted himself firmly between Alt-Geoff and the cashier.

“Quickly, please!” Gavin said with a raised voice as he struggled to keep Alt-Geoff away.

Back at the penthouse, Jack handed Geoff one of his personalised, tried and true med kits filled with the odds and ends Jack had found particularly useful in their line of work.

“Way better than what you’d get at a shop,” Jack explained, and Geoff didn’t find the need to tell him he’d helped his Jack build a similar kit back in his own universe, “and all the good painkillers. But if your universe is anything like this one, you’d be able to get this stuff from Dr Shawcross as well. If you ask nicely.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Ready?” Jeremy asked.

“And… go!” Ryan said.

Geoff slid the broken piece of the device into place and held it there while the glue took hold. Jeremy started the timer on his phone and slid it over next to Geoff.

“So how long does this usually take?”

“A few hours. A little under three, I think. I’ll know when it’s ready to go. I’m gonna do this for the next few universes after this one and see if the timing’s consistent.”

Ryan’s phone buzzed.

“We’ve got a problem.” Ryan said, eyes scanning the text. “Fight’s breaking out in the northern suburbs. Lindsay thinks it’s some remnant of Colmillo Blanco. We should help deal with this.”

Jeremy nodded, then looked at Geoff.

“You want in?”

“Eh, better not.” Geoff shrugged and raised the hypercube at him. “Best if I just sit here for now.”

“It would probably psych them out if they saw two Geoffs coming at them.”

“Or Lindsay would shoot me, thinking I was an evil twin. I wouldn’t want to screw up your dynamic.”

“Is she wrong?” Ryan called out, halfway out the door.

“If I’m evil, I’m the lesser of the two of us!” Geoff shouted back.

“Fair, fair.” Jeremy said. “We’ll see you in a few hours then.”

“I’ll have take-out here ready and waiting for you.”

“Of course you’d know our favourite dishes.” Jack said.

“I’ve only ordered them for you, like, a hundred times.” Geoff replied.

“So how long’d it take?” Jeremy asked, resting his feet on the coffee table. The living room was quiet while Ryan fast-forwarded through the ads on the TV. The only sounds were the quiet scrape of cutlery and glassware as the crew ate dinner.

“Two hours and a little under forty five minutes.” Geoff answered. “We’ll see if that holds steady.”

“No we won’t,” Gavin said quietly from the couch.

“No,” Geoff agreed, “I guess you won’t.”

It was evening again, all of a sudden it felt like, and Geoff was left alone in the living room with Alt-Geoff.

“Quiet out, tonight.” Alt-Geoff asked.

Geoff nodded his head in acknowledgement. There was a glass of diet coke in his hand, rapidly collecting condensation. In Alt-Geoff’s, a glass of whiskey. He swirled it, glass clinking, for a few moments before continuing.

“You uh, doing alright? After everything that happened earlier?”

“What the hell do you think?” Geoff replied. He wasn’t sure if Alt-Geoff meant earlier today or in the other universe, and he decided it didn’t matter.

“I think you’re handling things just about as well as I would, which is saying something.”

Alt-Geoff didn’t offer him whiskey, which Geoff was grateful for. Geoff swirled his diet coke in exactly the same manner as Alt-Geoff did. Geoff flicked his eyes up to Alt-Geoff’s and waited for him to continue.

“Do you want to talk to a, uh, a-“

“Nope.” Geoff said, and downed his drink.

“Nope?”

“Nope.”

The sky behind them darkened. No clouds flew by over it, to cover the view. The whole city lit up in the colours of sunset, reflected off the glass. The occasional honk of a car horn far below filtered up but not loud enough to disturb the quiet.

“Is there anyone-“

“Nope.”

“Geoff.” Alt-Geoff said gently. “The others all talked to me, after lunch today.”

“Great. I don’t care.”

“We’re not… we’re not the Fakes you knew-“

“-You’re goddamn right you’re not.” Geoff cut him off. “You’re not like them at all,” he lied.

“Why not?” Alt-Geoff said. “How exactly are we different?”

“You don’t-“ Geoff broke off suddenly. “You’re not cautious like you should be.”

“You mean, like we should be if we’d gone through the same shit as you did.”

“Yeah.”

“Newsflash, asshole, we didn’t. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t go through shit. It wasn’t a walk in the park, getting to this position in the city.”

“I know, dickbait.”

Geoff could see a long scar, almost running the length of Alt-Geoff’s hand, raised and gnarled in the way old scars were. Alt-Geoff’d re-inked the tattoo over the top but it wasn’t a perfect colour match. Looking closer now, Alt-Geoff’s grip wasn’t exactly steady and even around the glass.

Alt-Geoff took a long drink and leaned back against the couch. Geoff tipped an ice cube into his mouth and chewed on it.

“Why the hell do you care, anyway?” Geoff asked Alt-Geoff.

“I don’t. I think you’re too fucking disconcerting and the sooner you’re out of my universe, the better.”

Geoff inclined his head. Fair enough.

“But my crew cares. Each of them, individually, came to me and asked me to talk to you. They hate to see you hurting.”

“Why the hell-“

-“Because you look like me, dipshit.” Alt-Geoff cut in. “You look like me, you talk like me, you hurt like me. And they’re sick of seeing me in pain without addressing it.”

“I’m not you-“

“-They know that, and I know that, and you know that. But that doesn’t stop it hurting them all the same.”

Geoff worried his lip a little.

“Well, I’m sorry. For causing you and your crew unnecessary pain.”

There was another tense silence.

“Can you just-“

“-No.” Geoff said.

“Please? Just… talk to me, okay? Not for me. For my crew.”

“No.”

Alt-Geoff sighed and ran a hand down his face.

“The negotiations with Funhaus aren’t going too well.” Alt-Geoff said. “They want too much control over the western suburbs, the west coast. It won’t look good for us to give ‘em exactly what they want, but we don’t have the manpower to hold the whole west coast by ourselves. If Jack and I don’t solve this properly, we’d be putting everyone we love at risk. It’s stressing me out a little.”

Alt-Geoff leaned forward in his seat.

“So when I go to bed tonight, I’m gonna talk to Jack about it. Maybe before then, I’ll toss Michael a beer and him and Ryan and I will go up on the roof. Or Gavin and Jeremy will bother me until I can take my mind off it for a while. Or I might pour myself another few fingers of this and actually get around to answering all the emails Lindsay sends me.”

Alt-Geoff raised his glass a little, angling it at Geoff. “You can’t do any of these things. And I’d know how I’d feel if I couldn’t. So come on. One no strings attached conversation with someone who knows you best that you also won’t ever have to see again, soon enough.”

Geoff smiled and shook his head, staring into his glass. A thought occurred to him.

“Why’d your crew ask you to talk to me, instead of, say, Jack?”

“Oh no, trust me, they all went to him first. I did too. But Jack thought it might be easier for you to talk to someone who didn’t look like anyone else you knew.”

“I don’t-“ Geoff clicked his tongue- “I can’t substitute them, you know? I can’t do that.”

“So what, you’re just not gonna talk to anyone until this is all over?”

“Who’s going to understand?”

Alt-Geoff gestured at the room with his drink. “What am I trying to do right now?”

Geoff shook his head again, this time with more conviction. “I just have to find the right universe, do what I’m told, and then I can head home. That’s the only important thing. I’ve probably spent too long in this universe as it is. I have to keep moving.”

“How long do you think it’s gonna take to find the right universe? What if it’s months, years-“

“-It’s not gonna take that long.” Geoff cut him off with a bit more force than was necessary.

Alt-Geoff looked at him with an expression Geoff couldn’t quite read. Pinched brows, downturned mouth, sad eyes. It made Geoff want to look away.

“It’s a lonely road, you have planned.”

“Of course it is. I don’t have my crew with me.”

Alt-Geoff put his glass down, a bit of whiskey slopping over the sides. “I’m trying to say, Geoff, that there’s more than one crew in the whole multiverse who’ll look out for you.”

“I don’t want them too! I want my crew!”

Geoff stood up, breathing hard. He looped a backpack strap over his shoulder. Suddenly he couldn’t bear spending another second in this apartment, filled with memories and smells and things and people and it was all just a bit overwhelming. Any other universe right now seemed more bearable.

“I’ve spent long enough in this universe. I have to get back to them.”

“No, wait-“

Geoff spun one of the hypercube’s edges and the universe split into a trillion tiny strings.

Chapter Text

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

“Excuse me, uh,” Alt-Geoff said, “what the fuck?”

“Shit,” Geoff said, mostly to himself, “I didn’t record anything for you. Hey, does Gavin have a camera laying around somewhere? A good one?”

“Are you all seeing this?” Jack asked.

Geoff glanced at his left arm. The superglue had lasted the journey, and the hypercube held together. It had still lost its glow, so Geoff suspected it still needed time to charge. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to-

-“Whoa whoa whoa,” Ryan said, pulling a gun, “slow down there, pal.”

Geoff raised his hands in a placating manner and lowered himself to the floor, crossing his legs.

“Jesus Christ I’m really not in the mood for another long-winded explanation.” Geoff said.

“Well that’s too fucking bad,” Alt-Geoff snapped, also pulling out a gun. The same Glock Geoff had in his waistband. “because I’m gonna need one.”

Geoff rolled his eyes.

Geoff sat down at the dining room table and adjusted the little tripod the camera was sitting on.

“That’s probably not straight enough,” Geoff muttered, “Heh. Last time I ever say that.” He cleared his throat. “Alright, me from another universe. I’m Geoff Ramsey, but I’m hoping you already figured that out and you’re not as dumb as you look.”

Geoff paused, thinking.

“I legitimately have no idea what the fuck to say.”

Geoff aimed his chin in the direction towards the kitchen.

“Hey Alt- uh, hey Geoff? Can you come ‘ere a sec?”

“Yeah, what?” Alt-Geoff’s head appeared beside Geoff’s.

“Say something that’d convince you that I wasn’t a crazy person. Or an evil clone.”

Alt-Geoff pulled a face. “I legitimately have no idea what the fuck to say. I mean, he is crazy though. Universe jumping? Alien technology? I wouldn’t have believed it without the doohickie on his arm. But if you can come up with a better explanation for it than what he says, then by all means.”

Geoff turned back towards the camera. “That’s a good start.”

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said, predictably. Geoff was getting a little sick of hearing that.

“Very original.” Geoff said. “Let me guess, no alien technology in this universe either?”

“Excuse me?”

Not that he should complain that not much was changing between the last few universes. Predictability meant safety. Knowledge was power.

But these universes didn’t have any alien technology. At least, not readily available in the way he wanted. Spending time here didn’t bring him any closer to home.

And if he was honest, it was grating on him a bit to see his crew’s doppelgangers enjoying each other’s company. The similarities were… jarring, and it made his heart ache. Made him think too much of the five people he cared most about, who had no idea what happened to him. He wondered, for a brief, moment, how much time had passed since he’d last seen them. Maybe they’d had a funeral for him.

“Okay, time to get the ball rolling. I’m you from a different universe.” Geoff said quickly. “Any questions?”

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

A low bit of dread settled deep in Geoff’s stomach. Why were all these universes the same? They were different universes, weren’t they? It wasn’t a- he wasn’t stuck in another-

No. His watch dutifully recorded the passing of time and didn’t jump or skip even when moving between universes. He felt hungry, and could feel short, coarse beard hairs on his jaw. He was still ageing and changing.

There was also no flash of red light.

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

"It may come as a surprise, but if I'm being honest, there are days where I'm simply not in the mood to be held at gunpoint by one of my alternate reality selves."

Geoff felt cool metal press against the back of his skull.

"How about me?" Ryan growled. "Can I hold you at gunpoint?"

"Drama queen, you're not gonna shoot me. And yeah, I know that makes you kind of want to shoot me more, but you still won't."

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Because you've never seen Geoff's blood and brains blown out across the floor before, and you don't think you can handle being the cause of that." Geoff said, calmly certain.

The gun against his skull moved away.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because this isn’t my first rodeo, bucko. You’re not the first Ryan to pull a gun on me today and I’ll bet what’s left of my eyebrows you won’t be the last.”

"Wait, sorry," Jack said, "I'm not following."

"That's fine." A USB appeared in Geoff's hand, and he tossed it to Jack, who caught it instinctively. "Open up the video file labelled "Quick Explanation", then feel free to go through the rest."

Geoff shed his bag and disarmed, leaving his weapons in a tidy pile on top of the bag. Next went his shoes, his jacket, and the light body armour. The four other people in the living room watched, but made no move against him, although Ryan didn't let his gun slip all the way towards the floor.

"Now if you don't mind," Geoff said, "I'm going to take a nap in the spare bedroom. Feel free to lock the door if you're that skittish. I don't give a fuck. I haven't slept in two days."

They let him blearily wander down the hallway without stopping him.

Geoff tapped two fingers against the side of a whiteboard marker. He stared up at a whiteboard covered with his own handwriting and little pictures. It showed an accurate a timeline as he could remember, with details about the different universes.

“I don’t know why the pattern’s changed,” Geoff muttered. “Was it something I did? Or the hypercube’s breaking even more?”

Jack took the marker from him and laid it flat on the table top. “If you can’t think of anything you did differently, I doubt it was you.”

“Hey Geoff. Not you,” Gavin waved away Alt-Geoff’s attention, “the other Geoff. You come across a version of us that owned a super yacht?”

“Gavin, I also own a super yacht.” Geoff paused. “Two, actually, if you don’t count the first one that exploded. You don’t… have one?”

Alt-Geoff picked up the marker and approached the whiteboard. “We don’t have enough downtime to waste it relaxing on a yacht. It’s a struggle holding our position in the city as it is, and we really don’t have time to deal with that as well as the nonsense you’ve brought in.”

“Well excuse me,” Geoff said, “I didn’t ask to travel to your universe, and as soon as I can I’ll fuck off, which’ll be in about half an hour. I doubt your little criminal empire can fall apart that quickly.”

Alt-Geoff flipped him off and turned his attention back to the whiteboard. His fingers tapped on the side of the white board marker as he did. “The other universes just like this one,” Alt-Geoff started, “did those Geoffs have yachts?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

“And no alien technology.”

Geoff inclined his head in agreement.

Alt-Geoff drew a circle around the collection of similar universes. Inside the bubble, he wrote “Normal Universes” and outside, “Weird Fucking Universes”.

“The most I can gather is that you came from a weird fucking corner of the multiverse, didn’t you.”

“Eat a dick.”

“Fuck yeah I will.” Alt-Geoff replied, smirking.

“I think the douchebag Geoff from your last universe was right.” Ryan said.

“You’re not just saying that because you’re mad I predicted you wouldn’t shoot me?”

“Only partly. I really think there’s a lot more universes out there that are like mine than there are like yours. You did, as you would say, “come from a weird fucking corner of the universe”.”

Geoff leaned back in his chair. “What makes you say that? I thought there were an infinite number of other universes. Wouldn’t that mean there’s an infinite amount of both?”

Michael sat down near them with a couple of bags of take out. “But it’s gotta be more likely that an alien spaceship, or two alien spaceships, don’t crash into Mt Gordo. So, more universes where that doesn’t happen.”

“That’s not how it works.” Geoff worried his lip. “It’s not chance, is it? I land in a universe like yours because there’s more of them?” Geoff turned to Ryan, who shrugged and pulled a face.

“I dunno. You know more about this stuff than me.”

“And that’s a terrible thought.”

Ryan nodded in agreement. "It’s true. Out of everyone in the crew, you're the last one I'd suspect to think about a hypothetical this much.”

Geoff shrugged. "Not in the crew, remember. I'd think so too, but this isn’t a hypothetical for me. While waiting for this to recharge," Geoff held his arm up, the hypercube glowing steadily, "I've had time to think about it a lot."

Michael handed a burger to Gavin, who immediately took a bite and also chose that moment to share his opinion.

“You control,” Gavin took a moment to cough and swallow, and Geoff fought to keep an innocent expression on his face with that thought, “the time part of it, don’t you?”

Geoff frowned. “Excuse me?”

“You control when you change universes, by spinning the thingy. Hypercube. So it’s not entirely up to chance, right?”

“Well it can’t be completely up to chance,” Geoff said. “I’m here, in this universe for a reason. Jeremy's device right at the start showed me a universe where I do something, something important. I just have to get there.”

Michael chewed his lip. “But…?”

Geoff crossed his arms and leaned against the table.

“But it doesn’t feel right. Every time I travel to a new universe, it just feels wrong. I didn’t get that feeling when jumping universes in Zancudo. Something’s gone awry. I’m not where I’m supposed to be, at least, not yet. Either I’ll eventually end up where I need to be or I’ll find a way to make that so.”

“If the hypercube isn’t sending you where you need to be,” Gavin mused, “and it isn’t chance, then what’s controlling where you’re going?”

Geoff shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s most likely the aliens, or some faulty line of code in the hypercube. Or it’s chance, I guess. I’m hoping to come across a universe where there’s more alien technology available, because there’s an alien helmet that could help me. It can control pretty much anything that runs on electricity.”

Michael snorted. “Maybe that’s why you’re here.”

“What?”

“That’s why you’re in all these universes without that technology.”

“Ah,” Ryan said, following Michael’s line of thought, “Geoff, maybe you’re being led on a very deliberate path, here.”

“That’s not likely.” Geoff argued. “Why would the aliens lead me away from all their technology and the events of my universe? They need me to use their technology to shoot down their spaceships over Mt Gordo. Why would they take me away from that?”

“Then it’s not them.” Gavin said simply.

Geoff didn’t like that answer.

“No, there must be some other reason why I’m here.” Geoff said hotly. “This just must be on the way to Mt Gordo.”

“Geoff,” Ryan said gently, “if you believed that, you wouldn’t be trying so hard to figure out what’s going on. Because you’d know.”

“You said it feels wrong, Geoff.” Michael added. “There’s probably a reason for that. Trust your gut.”

Geoff shook his head. “No, I’m probably just… It’s probably just taking a longer time than suggested in what Jeremy's device showed me. I have to have more fucking patience.”

“Geoff,” Gavin said, “how many universes like mine have you visited?”

Dozens. Not, like, a hundred or anything ridiculous like that. But Geoff’s felt the need to sleep about five times. Assuming he does that once a day for seven hours, and spends three hours in a universe otherwise…

“Not enough to, you know, worry about it.” Geoff lied.

Ryan rolled his eyes. Michael and Gavin exchanged a look.

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

"I would kill to meet myself from another world." Gavin said, almost overbalancing on his chair. "Halve my workload."

"You'd annoy yourself to death," Ryan chided.

"No I wouldn't. It'd be great because then there'd be at least one other person who knew what I was on about."

"I take it back. You wouldn't annoy yourself, you'd confuse yourself to death."

Geoff hid his grin behind a hand.

"What about you, Ryan? Fancy meeting yourself?"

Ryan grimaced. "Not even a little."

Gavin laughed. "The collective angst would probably kill us all."

"Oi, Ryan," Geoff said, "Think less about meeting your other self, and more about how useful it’d be to have another of you around.”

Geoff’s Ryan still occasionally paced around the apartment in the middle of the night, checking the locks and that all the weaponry was put away safely. There was a good chance this Ryan probably did the same thing. All the Ryan’s he’d met in this string of universes didn’t seem all that different, Geoff was game enough to admit now.

Ryan took that into consideration. "Why stop at one? Think about what I could do with a verifiable army of Ryans. Now that I’d like to see.”

“I take it all back. One Ryan is definitely enough.”

Alt-Geoff and Jack chose that moment to stumble into the room, a little out of breath and a lot bleeding.

“It’s not going so great with Funhaus,” Jack grunted out while he helped Alt-Geoff into a chair.

“Are you both okay?” Ryan asked.

“He’ll live,” Jack inclined his head at Alt-Geoff. “knife wound, left calf. He’s lost a fair bit of blood.”

“Gavin, get Jack’s med kit. And you?”

“Nothing a couple of band aids won’t solve. I can sew up Geoff’s leg, don’t think there’s a need to see Kerry.”

“Your shoulder’s bleeding,” Ryan countered, and tisked at the injury. Jack swatted him away.

“What the hell happened?” Geoff said, standing up and moving away to clear some space.

“Funhaus wasn’t in the negotiating mood, is what happened.” Alt-Geoff grumbled. He hissed in pain when Ryan stretched his injured leg out onto the chair next to him. “And we went there with a show of faith by only taking the two of us. Assholes. And here I was, ready to negotiate away the west coast for them.”

There was a liquor cabinet in the next room, and Geoff darted away to grab a bottle of something strong to pour a glass. He passed it to Alt-Geoff, who took three large gulps and coughed a couple of times. Geoff finally noticed it was his favourite brand of expensive whiskey, and his old preferred way of managing pain when there was nothing else available. The smell of it lingered in the air, the sharp alcoholic scent mixed with cinnamon and a hint of something floral. Geoff hadn’t smelled it in years.

But he didn’t forget.

Gavin came back with the med kit and passed it to Jack. Ryan took it from him and made him sit down in the chair next to the one Alt-Geoff was resting his leg on.

“Geoff, other Geoff,” Ryan clarified, “would you mind patching up Jack while I take care of my Geoff?”

“My Geoff,” Alt-Geoff said, “I like the sound of that.”

“Shush, and hold this against your leg.”

Jack made some protesting noises at Ryan but Geoff shot him a stern glare and he held up his uninjured arm in surrender.

Geoff took up residence on the table next to him so he’d be at a good height to tend to the shoulder. He wasn’t as great a medic as Jack or Michael, and he didn’t have the steady hand for stitching like Ryan did, but he’d patched up his crewmembers for years.

That excluded a brief few times in Zancudo, where it was beneficial to let someone die quickly of their wounds than to patch them up. Most of the time dealing with that was as simple as letting your guard down and a soldier or fighter jet would take care of the problem for you, but that wasn’t every time. That was something you grit your teeth through and when you saw them again on the other side of the red flash you’d take an extra moment to make sure they were whole and hearty.

But anyway, Geoff had patched up his crewmembers for years.

“The whole west coast?” Geoff queried, and Jack welcomed the distraction from what Geoff was doing to his arm. He also accepted the glass of whiskey Gavin poured for him, and took a slow sip.

“A generous peace offering, we thought.” Jack said. “There’s been a lot of fighting out west, and we’re not exactly in a position to travel that far out just to defend a few little used jetties and small businesses.”

“Too generous an offer makes you look weak.” Geoff told him. “But judging by today’s events they already thought that.”

“What would you have done, then?”

“I’d have given them the western suburbs.” Geoff explained. “Not only would they be a bit more inland, but also closer to your home base here.”

“Why is that a good idea?”

“Give ‘em the low lying suburbs while you keep the higher density commercial district. You can keep a close eye on their movements from there. With the deal made, the fighting stops along the coast, and Funhaus themselves acts as a barrier of defence from other crews.”

Jack hummed his approval of the plan, then stopped to wince when Geoff pressed a little too hard into his shoulder. He took another sip of his drink.

“You came up with that pretty quickly.”

“Yeah, well.” Geoff placed an adhesive patch over the wound. Just a deep graze where Jack must’ve fallen on his shoulder. There’d been gravel embedded in the wound, and he smelled like smoke and motor oil and iron. “Not the first Fakes to have that problem.”

Alt-Geoff snorted. “I hope they’re having better luck than us with it.”

Geoff pursed his lips. “Yeah, actually. They are. My original universe, okay well not my original universe, the most recent one I call home, we had a great relationship with Funhaus and the other local crews. I don’t know why the Fakes I’ve seen since then have had…”

“…Worse luck?” Ryan ventured.

“Well I mean I doubt ol’ Geoff here is leading you astray.” Geoff glanced at Alt-Geoff, who looked significantly less in pain and equal amounts tipsy. “He’s me after all. In certain ways.”

Gavin spoke up. “What happened to your original universe?”

“Dunno.” Geoff replied. “Ray said he knew Lindsay was doing just fine, and burned Zancudo down after you Lads didn’t come home. I imagine people like Burnie and Gus are doing just fine. They’re capable. They wouldn’t miss me for long-“

Geoff cut himself off to swallow heavily.

“Can’t do anything about them so I shouldn’t worry, right? Look, maybe we should be thinking about what next to do about Funhaus.”

This universe looked remarkably like the previous one.

“Christ, really?” Geoff griped. “What happened to the penthouse?”

“Well excuse me,” Alt-Geoff drawled, “not all of the Fakes have a million fucking dollars laying around to spend on one.”

Once these Fakes had watched all the videos on the USB and determined Geoff wasn’t a threat, he was allowed to look around the flat. The apartment was… quaint, compared to Geoff’s standards. This was the sort of apartment he’d pick as a safehouse but not to live in permanently.

This was the first big change in the Fakes that Geoff could spot off the bat. He wasn’t sure at this point if it was because Funhaus was getting powerful, or if the Fakes were just getting unluckier. It probably didn’t matter. Geoff didn’t intend on hanging around long enough for it to be a problem for him.

What was a problem for him already was that this meant the timeline was getting fuckier. The more things changed, the less familiar Geoff was with the future. And each universe where the situation was harder and harder for the Fakes made Geoff feel further and further away from his own crew.

He’d been lucky up until now to catch the Fakes in a quiet moment in their penthouse. Hopefully he’d get away from this pit of alien-free universes before the fighting with Funhaus escalated, when his crew grew too weak to hold them back. Geoff was not looking forward to appearing in a universe in the middle of a gunfight.

Although, Geoff already wished he was back experiencing more of the same-same nature of the last couple of dozen universes as opposed to this degradation of his crew’s standing in this one. It was an affront to everything he worked hard towards. Everything his crew had achieved.

“No, you don’t-“ Geoff shook his head. “Do you think I give out millions of dollars all willy-nilly? Or that I’ve ever had that kind of cash on hand? You point your damned gun at the building owner until you make a deal! You run a criminal empire! Break a law or two!”

Someone, either Jack or Ryan, snorted in the background.

“You don’t think we tried that? We got caught!” Alt-Geoff argued back.

Geoff ran a hand over his face. “How on earth did you get caught?”

“Yeah, we got caught,” Michael cut in, dripping with sarcasm. “It definitely wasn’t just Geoff. We had to spend a small fortune posting his bail. Then the lawyers, the bribery, yadda yadda. We were lucky to even get this place.”

Alt-Geoff crossed his arms. “I’m not going to apologise for putting life and limb on the line for this crew.”

“How about getting arrested, then?”

Alt-Geoff flipped him off.

“Oh like your record’s so spick and span. There’s no one in this room that the police don’t have some dirt on.”

“Wait,” Geoff said, “what? What about Gavin and Jeremy? Do the police know about them as well?”

“The LSPD have arrested all of us at some point,” Ryan explained. “They keep tabs on us. It kinda makes it difficult to run our, as you would say, criminal empire.”

Michael punched him on the shoulder. “Criminal small town.”

Ryan smiled back at him. “Criminal hamlet.”

Geoff waved his hand to get Ryan’s attention. “Do they know you’re the Vagabond?”

“Nah, I wasn’t wearing the mask at the time.”

“Why don’t you just ask Gavin to hack their records and make the charges disappear? It’s the only way my Fakes can get anything done. That and bribery. And murder.”

“Can’t.” Jack said. “Gavin’s good, but they’re the police. Plus, does it look like we have the money to spare for bribery? Funhaus is bleeding us dry.”

Geoff’s eyebrows shot up. “You work for Funhaus?”

“Of course not.” Alt-Geoff scoffed. “But they’re getting into fights with our guys in the western suburbs and ammunition is expensive. They blew up our safehouse out there and’ve killed a few new hires. And the cops know our faces so we can’t just turn up there armed to the teeth. We get arrested again, we go away for a long time.”

“But Geoff,” Michael said to Alt-Geoff, “You have some idea about what we’re gonna do, right?”

Alt-Geoff’s expression darkened. “I need to speak with Lindsay and Trevor and see what they’ve got. I might have something in the works.”

Geoff knew that tone of voice meant he was bullshitting. From the look on Jack’s face, he knew it too.

Geoff didn’t like it one bit.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do.” Geoff raised his voice a little. “We’re gonna wait for Gavin and Jeremy to come back, and then we’ll sit down and talk through what makes this universe different from mine. That way, I’ll know how two universes work and you’ll have two Geoffs to think up a plan. Does that work for you all?”

Jack, Ryan, and Michael looked to Alt-Geoff for confirmation.

“Yep,” Alt-Geoff said, “works for me.”

The Geoff native to this universe doesn’t drink either.

That doesn’t stop anybody else, which is fine, but Geoff was getting pretty tired of gently trying to cajole Jeremy into drinking some water and convincing him that yes, he was aware it was hilarious he could literally go fuck himself.

“There’s a quiz online,” Jeremy called out from across the coffee table, “I’ll find it for you. About clones!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Geoff shouted back, “Your Geoff isn’t my clone so it doesn’t apply.”

“It’s close enough!”

“I am in a committed relationship, thank you very much.”

“It’s a hypothetical, jeez. You should be used to them, ‘cause there’s a Gavin in your universe too.”

“Far too used to them.” Geoff agreed. “I’ve taken Ryan’s stance to them and started interpreting them way too literally.”

“Come on, bring it back,” Ryan made a circling gesture with his arm. “We were talking about how we met?”

“I saved your asses,” Jeremy slurred.

“You saved mine too.” Geoff told him. “But I think we were talking about the bank robbery.”

“Because that’s where you and your Fakes became enemies, right?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. So I don’t know how that helped you six…” Geoff threaded his fingers together, “…join forces. And then Jeremy later.”

“Ray always told the story best.” Gavin said. He was typing away on a laptop, his feet up and crossed on the coffee table. “He was the one that shot the helicopter down, after all.”

“Ray always liked that rocket launcher a bit too much, if you ask me.” Geoff sipped his soda water.

“…Rocket launcher?” Ryan queried.

“Yeah, you know,” Geoff mimed holding a long cylinder over one shoulder, “shoots rockets. Not great for indoors.”

“Ray never owned a rocket launcher,” Michael said, “where the hell would he get one of those?”

“I don’t know,” Geoff replied, “I don’t suppose you can just buy one at an Ammunation. Black market dealer maybe?”

“It’s not important.” Ryan said. “Did he crash the helicopter into your bank as well?”

“Yeah, it hit the side, Ray told me.”

“Not in our universe.”

There it is - that’s the main difference. Ray made the choice not to get the rocket launcher in this universe and his Fakes didn’t need Zancudo to get together. Ray chose to leave just before the early conflict with Colmillo Blanco, and they hired Jeremy to replace him. Those things sounded on par with not only the other universes visited, but Geoff’s own home universe.

“What happened?” Geoff asked.

“Ray sniped the helicopter and it hit the bank’s roof and fell through.” Michael explained. “The front of the building collapsed, and everyone but Ray was trapped inside. The money got stuck under the rubble, so we just kind of helped each other get out? A couple of civilians too. The cop cars sent to stop us even helped us clear out of there.”

“Cops helped you?”

“Yeah, we probably looked like innocent civilians. Dipshits.”

“No, I’m just saying. Ray killed all the cops before we made it out the front door of our bank. If your Ray didn’t, could those cops be the ones that are giving you grief?”

“I think so.” Gavin said over whatever Michael was going to say. He spun his laptop around and showed them information pages about the cops. “Soon after the bank incident, they requested desk jobs in the department. One of them turned out to be a great system admin and seriously boosted the LSPD’s digital security not long after.”

“Not humorously?” Michael interjected. Ryan kicked him.

Alt-Geoff leaned back in his chair. “If he’s so good, then how’d you nab that info so quickly?”

“It’s on the About page on the local LSPD website.”

“Oh.”

“So…” Geoff said slowly, “The police terrify you because… they have a great I.T department?”

Gavin nodded. “That’s about right. Even with Ryan’s help I haven’t been able to touch the LSPD’s servers.”

Geoff leaned back in his chair. “Okay then, I see a clear solution to your problem.”

“Which is?” Alt-Geoff prompts.

“Take out the I.T department.”

“You wanna bust down the door of the LSPD,” Alt-Geoff said, “and kill their cops, while they’re surrounded by other cops. I know you said you had an idea, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have a good one.”

Geoff glanced at his left arm. The hypercube adorning it shone with its full, purple light.

“It’s a pretty good one. Do you want to free up your time to deal with Funhaus or not?”

Geoff walked right through the LSPD’s front door like he owned the place.

“Hello,” he told the receptionist, “I’d like to report a missing vehicle.”

“Can I grab some I.D off you, if that’s okay?”

“Absolutely.”

Geoff fished around in his backpack and handed over his driver’s license. He wasn’t lying- he was Geoff Ramsey. His new vehicle, which he bought last night, was no longer in his garage and he didn’t know where it was. The I.D passed whatever security check the receptionist’s computer wanted it to and she gave him the required forms.

“Okay, just fill out this form over there,” the receptionist pointed, “and we’ll see what we can do. Okay?”

“Yep, great.” Geoff replied. He gave a quick wave to the security camera and then headed to the indicated area.

The far wall caved in as a dump truck suddenly intruded on the space. A verifiable wall of dust and debris rained down from the cheap ceiling tiles as they broke apart. The screech of the dump’s brakes echoed in the small space and Geoff covered his ears.

That did nothing to cover Alt-Geoff’s excited shout over the comms when he recovered from the impact.

“Holy shit!” Geoff shouted into his earpiece. Geoff winced. “That was the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life!”

“If I get tinnitus from that,” Geoff said back, “I’m gonna tell your entire crew about that thing you did with your dick and the toilet seat when you were a teenager.”

“Duly noted.”

“The server room?” Jack asked.

“Nothing but dust.” Alt-Geoff replied. “Team Love n Stuff, inspect the damage.”

Ryan and Gavin jumped down from the dump truck and cast careful eyes over the next room. Geoff could make out their silhouettes from the waiting room but not much more. His role was to look like a terrified civilian and help get the innocents away from the danger, not watch Gavin and Ryan do their jobs.

Typically, Geoff was fine to let the cops do what they needed to do and otherwise let them be. The only time he interacted with them was when they got in his way, and then they were fair game.

They were getting in the way now, so they had to go. It was simple enough.

The Police Commissioner darted out of his office and Ryan shot him. Gavin lit a Molotov cocktail and tossed it into the office space, closing the door behind him. An orange glow framed the outline of his skin.

“Yeah, no technological worries out our end.” Ryan said into his comms. Geoff heard it echo through his own earpiece, on the other side of the rubble. Two armed cops darted past him towards the half-buried exit, but paid him no mind. They were focused on getting out like he himself should be, but he wanted to see the Fakes in action in a way he hadn’t before.

“What Ryan said,” Gavin confirmed. “No salvageable computer stuff here. Bloody good job with the dump truck.”

“Thank you.” Alt-Geoff replied.

“Server guy’s carked it.” Michael said over the comms. “Clean one through the head.”

“Great job.” Alt-Geoff coughed. “And the other three guys?”

“Jeremy’s working on them. You know, he’s really turned into a half decent sniper, I’d say.”

“Two down!” Jeremy said. “Dunno where the last one’s at. He’s yours, Michael. Half decent sniper my ass, do your job.”

Jeremy’s reply was almost covered with static, but Geoff was able to make it out. Stupid un-alien tech.

“Got him!” Michael said. “He got me back with his knife a bit, but not enough. Jack, you on hand?”

“Yep.”

“Then no worries.”

“Okay, we’re done here,” Geoff surreptitiously said to his comms, “clear out!”

“In a sec,” Alt-Geoff said. The dump’s engine revved up and the battered thing made a slow crawl towards the next wall. The pile of debris inched closer and Geoff took a cautious step backwards. “I have a bit more building I wanna destroy.”

“Geoff-“ Geoff said.

“Geoff.” Alt-Geoff replied. “You might want to make a hasty exit now. I’m sure enough witnesses have seen you in there and not in here, now.”

“Alright, fine.” Geoff said. He made a show of helping some civilian out of the smoke and deposited him near the other civilians. “I’ll make sure you survive this or my name isn’t Geoff Ramsey.” He told the civilian.

Geoff made his way away from the crowd and around a convenient corner. “Your cover story should hold up.” Geoff said to Alt-Geoff over the comms.

“Great. No new charges to file against me.” Alt-Geoff replied. “Not sure where they’d file them, though, considering in about five seconds there won’t be any police station left.”

Geoff wasn’t sure what was louder in his ear: his alternate self’s giggling or the sound of the police station tumbling down behind him.

“Yep, great job.” Geoff said.

“Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” Alt-Geoff said. “Dump trucks are fucking awesome!”

“You haven’t spent as much time hanging around construction sites as I have.” Geoff replied.

“Don’t brag about it.”

“I’m not!” Geoff argued.

God, it sounded like old times. Geoff wished he could stay here, forever. Do more jobs, deal with enemy crews. Lead the Fakes. This crew wasn’t his crew, he had to keep reminding himself. No matter how much fun he had with them.

It wasn’t his job to lead them, here. That was Alt-Geoff’s. He had something else to do. Something he almost forgot about in the excitement around the police station.

It was time to go.

“Okay, hey,” Geoff said, “do you know the corner between Strawberry Ave and Vespucci Boulevard?”

“Yeah, why?” Alt-Geoff said.

“I’m leaving an envelope filled with money in this storm drain here, okay?”

It was money the Alt-Geoffs from other universes had given him in case of an emergency, but he figured the Alt-Geoff of this universe could use it more.

“What?” Why?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“Other Geoff, wait a sec,” Jack said over his comms. Jack, always more perceptive than anyone else in the crew,

“Nah.” Geoff said. “You’ve got enough advantage over the LSPD to take care of Funhaus now, I think. No point in sticking around.”

“Not even to say goodbye to us all?”

“I’ve done that more times than you can count. I’m not great at them.” Geoff said. “I don’t have anything heartfelt to say. You all know what you’re doing, what you need to do.”

“Do you?”

“I need to move on.” Geoff said. He heaved his backpack higher over his shoulder. “From uh, this universe. Leave this universe. Need to find that alien technology, you know? Yeah.”

“Yeah, we understand.” Ryan said. “Thanks for helping us out, Geoff.”

“Helping my Fakes is kind of my job, Ryan.” Geoff said, a smile in his voice. “But yes. I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Geoff-“

Best to leave before the rest of them joined in.

Geoff spun the hypercube and the world unravelled.

Geoff opened his eyes to an enclosed space filled with paper. He sat on the floor next to a typical office chair filled with a very confused Alt-Geoff blinking back at him, before lunging at him out of his office chair.

“Um-“ Was all Geoff had the time to gasp out before the full weight of Alt-Geoff, for some reason in an LSPD police uniform, bore down on him and twisted his hands behind his back.

Alt-Geoff smushed Geoff’s face down into the carpet.

“Los Santos Police Department! How the hell did you manage to sneak into my office?!”

“What?” Geoff wheezed.

He looked around. A bunch of papers had blown off a desk with Geoff’s arrival, and Geoff was confronted with the image of a dead man with an eye patch, monocle, and fantastic moustache, and a building long since demolished. Alt-Geoff crushed the rest of the oxygen out of his lungs and he focused back again at the situation at hand.

“You are under arrest,” Alt-Geoff told him, “for breaking and entering the Los Santos Police Station in Downtown Los Santos. And, potentially, for impersonating a police officer. You have the right to remain silent…”

Chapter Text

The handcuffs, Geoff noted, were not regulation handcuffs. They were stiff in the middle, plastic and metal instead of chain, and Geoff couldn’t even brush his fingers against his opposite wrist. This was done to keep his hands away from the hypercube, which he presumed had started glowing again, not that he could see it with his hands behind his back. While the cops here couldn’t remove it they were smart enough not to let him touch it.

Not that he could, even if he wanted to. Maybe if his hands were cuffed in front of him instead of behind him around the back of a chair, and he wiggled a bit? Eventually they’d have to leave him alone and then he could work his hands in front of him. But for now, as they had for the last few hours, Officers Haywood and Dooley were glaring daggers into the back of his neck from their positions next to the door behind him, and it made his neck tingle. There would be no escape attempts while they were watching.

But even if he could use the hypercube, Geoff wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to leave without his backpack, which he supposed was in an evidence locker somewhere else in the police department.

The trick would be in convincing Alt-Geoff, his interrogator, to go look at the videos on the USB and then let him go. But currently, his alternate self was far more interested in asking Geoff about his past and his personal life than about the how and why he existed. For the past few hours Geoff had regaled the three officers with stories about his rise to the top of the Los Santos underground.

He kept most of the alien technology and universe jumping stuff out of it. They’d understand once they saw the videos and if he brought it up before then he’d look like a crazy person. Plus, it was more fun to tell them the various ways he’d outwitted his own LSPD and made them look like fools.

Sure they were his crew, but they were also cops. Fuck ‘em.

“These are European, right?” Geoff said, banging the handcuffs against the back of the chair. They clanged against some exposed bit of metal, and he found the noise annoying so he did it a few more times, just to see if he could get Alt-Geoff’s expression to change. “They’re comfy. And they can hold a note.”

Alt-Geoff didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow.

He did, however, slide Geoff’s phone across the table towards Geoff. It was unlocked, and the photo of the Lads and Jack playing Hitman was on the screen. Geoff narrowed his eyes for a moment before he remembered Alt-Geoff had the same fingerprints as him.

“Care to explain this?” Alt-Geoff said.

Geoff leaned over as far as he could in the chair and looked down his nose at the phone. He gave it a small nod and lifted his eyes again to meet Alt-Geoff’s.

“It’s a phone.” Geoff explained. “You use it to call people. Well, I don’t. I use it to take pictures of my boyfriends and scroll through Twitter.”

Alt-Geoff ignored Geoff’s attempts at pedantry. “You have a bunch of real pretty looking boyfriends, but you only take three pictures of them?”

“If I say “take pictures” it implies more than one, of which three is.”

“They look a lot like my boyfriends.”

“Then you have good taste.”

Alt-Geoff’s façade was impenetrable. Geoff heard Jeremy move around a little bit behind him, probably grinning like a madman. Ryan, Geoff knew, had the world’s worst poker face under the mask but he wasn’t wearing one here. Maybe he was, just a bit more metaphorically.

But Alt-Geoff didn’t have a hint of humour in his expression. His eyes were dead and calculating in a way that made Geoff doubt he was looking at his own face. It almost surprised him to hear Alt-Geoff was in the same relationship that he was, because he couldn’t image this Geoff being anything but a leader. It didn’t feel like there was room for anyone to stand on equal footing with him, the way he acted.

Maybe it was because he was at work. It might be a police thing. But Geoff himself had never revelled in giving orders, nor did it with the ease that Alt-Geoff ordered Ryan and Jeremy.

Even if he didn’t like it, Geoff couldn’t deny they made a well-oiled machine. He wondered what they were like when Jack, Gavin, and Michael were working with them at the same time. If Ryan and Jeremy were here, odds were the others were as well. He hated to think of them like that, here, instead of where they should be. Fakes made much better criminals than cops.

“Alright,” Geoff said. If he could’ve slapped his hands down on the table he would have. As it was, he had to settle for crossing his legs. “I’m getting real sick of the whole cop routine. Can we just get this out in the open? In what universe would I choose to be a fucking cop?”

Alt-Geoff remained impassive. “If you’re sick of me asking you questions, you could try answering them properly.”

“I told you,” Geoff slowed his words down, “everything you need to know is on that USB.”

Alt-Geoff spoke with the same tempo. “And once Detective Free can safely say it’s not carrying anything that could affect the security of our systems, we’ll look at it.”

“That shouldn’t take this long.” Geoff said, frowning. “It’s just a USB. Gavin should’ve figured that out in about two seconds.” Geoff looked up, realisation in his eyes. “Unless, of course, you never gave it to your tech team.”

Alt-Geoff said nothing.

“That’s why I’m not in regulation cuffs.” Geoff continued. “Why I’m in this interview room instead of going through processing. No lawyer. Why I’ve only seen you and, presumably, your two most trustworthy lackeys. You’ve kept me off the books, haven’t you?” Geoff grinned. “Bad cop.”

Alt-Geoff stared at him, calculating. Ah, it felt good to get one over the cop. Alt-Geoff tapped his fingertips on the table top and his shoulders slumped a little from their posture-perfect position.

“You are… difficult to explain.” Alt-Geoff admitted. “And you’re dangerous. You look like me, you sound like me, you have a lot of my memories. Plus there’s that weird doohickie on your arm that nobody can remove or knows what it does. You stay right where I can see you.”

“You can’t just give me my stuff back and let me go?” Geoff said. “I can be out of your well maintained moustache in a jiffy. No more difficult to explain problem. And everything you could want to know is on the-“

“-I don’t really care how, or why, you’re here.” Alt-Geoff said, cutting him off.

“Then why spend a couple of hours sitting and interviewing me?”

“Because you’re a crook.” Alt-Geoff said. “A crook who made his way to the top of some other Los Santos. Someone smart enough to run circles around the LSPD. Well, one that doesn’t have me or my team in it. And, someone who brought Arcadius tumbling down and got away with it.”

Geoff remembered the papers he’d seen on Alt-Geoff’s desk. He put the puzzle pieces together.

“You want my help in taking down the Corpirate, is that right?”

Alt-Geoff gave the slightest of nods.

“I needed to see if you’d be amenable to an arrangement. And that you were capable of fulfilling the requirements of that arrangement.”

“And if I’m not amenable?”

Alt-Geoff heaved a practiced and smoothly acted sigh. “Then I guess we’ll just have to go through the formal arrest process and deal with all that. I know you’ve said you can just use that thing on your arm and vanish, but I get the feeling you would’ve done that if you could’ve.”

Alt-Geoff was right, almost. The only thing keeping Geoff in this universe was the backpack. Well, that and the handcuffs. But again, not like they could keep him in them forever.

“Yeah, right.” Geoff said. “Arrest me? Security cameras will prove I didn’t break in. What would you even charge me with?”

Alt-Geoff gestured and Ryan stepped into view. He tossed a manila folder onto the table.

“We caught you with an unlicensed firearm, a knife, and fake I.Ds, in the Deputy Police Chief’s office. Which you, in the eyes of the law if not any security cameras, broke into. Do you want me to keep going?”

“Honey, I’ll commit every crime in the book if it means you’ll read them back to me.” Geoff replied, sweet as sugar.

Ryan flushed.

Geoff smirked.

Alt-Geoff suddenly looked a lot less passive and a lot more aggressive.

“That’s option B.” Alt-Geoff said in a tone that was too light. “There’s also option C. Here,” Alt-Geoff nodded towards a back corner and Geoff craned his neck around to see what he was looking at.

Quick as a flash Jeremy came up on his other side and stuffed something into his mouth. Fabric, like a wadded up tie. Before Geoff could try and dislodge it Jeremy tipped his chair backwards and Geoff was scrambling to keep his balance and not bash his skull into the laminate. Jeremy held the chair steady just as it overbalanced and Geoff’s stomach lurched. His legs split apart to try and find the ground, and his toes just barely scraped against it.

Alt-Geoff leaned close, one of his hands coming down on the edge of the seat between Geoff’s legs. “Did you know this interview room is in the old part of the department? Not much down this end. I could issue a warning that this end’s dangerous, and then no one would come down here.”

Geoff fought to keep his breathing even and a neutral expression on his face.

Alt-Geoff indicated to something outside of Geoff’s sightline. “Maybe you’ll use your doohickie as soon as you get out of those cuffs. But over there, there’s two pipes running down that wall, a fair way apart. I could string you up between them so your arms were outstretched. No chance of reaching that little cube thing then, right? We can stick something in your arm and keep you hydrated. You could stay there for a very long time, don’t you think?”

Mute, Geoff nodded. It was hard to focus on what Alt-Geoff was saying and not choke at the same time.

“Keep your flirty comments to yourself from now on.”

Geoff nodded again.

“Okay, good. Officer Dooley?”

Jeremy returned the chair to its original position.

Alt-Geoff took the gag out of Geoff’s mouth and folded it up while Geoff worked some moisture back into his mouth. Cold sweat dripped down Geoff’s forehead. He flicked wet hair out of his eyes.

If either of the other two men in the room had done the same thing Geoff would be feeling very conflicted right now. But it was Alt-Geoff, so Geoff settled on trying to regain a little bit of control over his situation.

Geoff had faced down worse, with less.

 “What do you feel like doing, Geoff?” Alt-Geoff said. “A, B, or C?”

Geoff took a moment to sit up straight and square his shoulders. He stared Alt-Geoff down, even from his seated position, one gang leader to another.

“The backpack,” Geoff said, voice only a little unsteady. “I’m not leaving this universe until I get it back. I can help you deal with the Corpirate as long as afterwards you return it.”

Alt-Geoff appeared to mull it over, his hand twitching like he wanted to fiddle with his moustache but the habit was almost trained out of him.

Geoff leaned forward and lowered his voice until hopefully only Alt-Geoff could hear it.

“I wouldn’t do it for you, Officer Ramsey,” Geoff half snarled, half whispered. “But I’d do it for my crew, and my city. Nobody is allowed to threaten them and get away with it, do you understand?”

There was enough honesty in his words for Alt-Geoff to recognise, Geoff could see. Nodding again, Alt-Geoff motioned to Jeremy.

“Un-cuff him, Dooley.”

Jeremy did so and Geoff shook the tingles out of his arms. He rubbed at the red marks around his wrists and sort of nodded at Jeremy and Ryan. He wasn’t sure why. It seemed polite.

“Alright,” Geoff said, “the sooner we start the sooner I can fuck off. If you get me a pen and paper I can draw up a rough guide to the fastest way up Arcadius-“

-“That’s not what I need from you.” Alt-Geoff cut him off.

“Then what do you need my help with?”

“I need you to impersonate me while I frame the Corpirate.”

When it was convenient to do so, they snuck Geoff out of the police station and to Ryan’s apartment, which was closest. Jeremy ordered some fast food and they went over Alt-Geoff’s idea while they waited for the other three to turn up.

“We can’t get anything to stick to him,” Alt-Geoff explained as he took his jacket off, “he’s too good at covering his tracks.”

“We had the same problem.” Geoff replied.

Jeremy offered him a beer and Geoff waved him away. He gave it to Alt-Geoff, who accepted and offered a chaste kiss as payment.

Alt-Geoff certainly looked more like… himself, now. Far more relaxed and less looming. Even in Ryan’s apartment, which looked bare of personal items and personality, there was a lot of exposed brick, these three Fakes looked comfortable.

‘As much as I’d like to go up there, guns blazing,” Jeremy said, “and take him down, we just don’t have enough evidence. At least, nothing more than for a few white-collar crimes, and that’ll only take him down for a few months at most.”

“But then he’ll just go back to committing all his regular crime, but with a vendetta against all of you.” Geoff said. “So you need proof he did something worse. Something that’d let you search Arcadius and find the real dirt you’re looking for.”

“Oh no,” Ryan said, “It’s not about the crime, really. Yes, that’s our goal but that’s not why we’re doing this.”

Geoff frowned. “Then why?”

“He’s got people working for him inside the station.” Ryan explained. “Tipping him off. Burying his secrets.”

Alt-Geoff placed his beer on the coffee table. “It’s like you said, Geoff. They’re mine.”

“The whole precinct?”

“As good as.”

The front door opened and Michael, Gavin, and Jack let themselves in. Michael carried the fast food Jeremy ordered, Jack a stack of papers, and Gavin a laptop.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael almost shouted, “one Geoff was bad enough. It’s fucking uncanny.”

“It’s pretty weird,” Jack agreed, “but exactly what we needed.”

“Okay,” Alt-Geoff brought attention back to himself, “here’s what we’re gonna do. I’ve organised to host a safety seminar tomorrow morning at the station. Lots of witnesses. Second Geoff here will talk at the safety seminar while I go off and frame the Corpirate.”

“Here, second Geoff,” Gavin passed over the laptop. On it was a PowerPoint presentation. “You know how this all works, right?”

Geoff rolled his eyes and turned to Alt-Geoff. “Here I am, criminal mastermind, and you want me to give a PowerPoint presentation? Why don’t you do that, and I’ll frame the Corpirate?”

“You don’t have a moustache.”

“Well you do, and I’m meant to be impersonating you, so I don’t see how that’s gonna work.” Geoff closed the laptop. “This is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” Jack said with certainty. “Maybe you’re not aware because you’re not from around here, but everybody knows how much Geoff looks like the Corpirate, and how much he wants to take him down. Just shave off that beard, make an appearance at the station in the morning, and when someone with a moustache who looks a hell of a lot like the Corpirate commits a crime, you’re off the hook. Afterwards, the real Geoff will shave and none will be the wiser.”

Geoff reluctantly opened the laptop again.

“Real Geoff my ass. Fine.” Geoff pointed at Alt-Geoff. “But you’ll have to shave your head as well.”

“I can wear my officer’s cap for a few months.”

Jack piled his stack of papers onto Geoff’s lap.

“And what’s this?” Geoff asked him.

“Stuff you’ll need to know about us and police regulations for tomorrow.”

Geoff sighed and flicked through the stack while Jack continued.

“You know, you probably won’t even need get through the whole seminar. Once we have evidence of a crime, we’ll interrupt. We finally get our warrant and then you get your backpack back.”

“Hey,” Ryan called out. “Look what I found in my storeroom.”

It was an eyepatch.

Why the hell did he have one of- oh, right. Theatre days. Geoff wondered how long Ryan’d owned this apartment, and who else’s he spent more time in.

Alt-Geoff placed the eyepatch over one eye and swallowed a couple of times.

“Sometimes, you can beat Wall Street.”

And that voice, with its hint of gravel and accent Geoff couldn’t quite place, drained the blood from his face and Geoff was thankful to be sitting down.

“All we need’s the monocle.” Michael said.

“Already got one.” Jack cut in and handed it over. Alt-Geoff inspected it and held up the lens to the light.

“Just wait a second.” Geoff said. “Would you mind just going over everything again once more for me?”

Alt-Geoff dropped the accent. “You’re dressing up as me, so at the same time I can dress up as the Corpirate and commit crime. The LSPD can then raid his home and business and get the real dirt on him. Then you get your backpack back. Is that clear?”

“Crystal, I suppose. Jesus, you came up with all this real quick.”

“It’s my job.” Alt-Geoff said. “I’m the guy who comes up with plans.” He picked his beer up to take another sip. “You and I together, second Geoff, could probably do a lot of good around here.”

Geoff was not super thrilled with first off, going back to the police station, let alone dressed as a cop and surrounded by cops he was forced to be nice to. He wasn’t looking forward to the seminar he’d have to speak at, or any of the other bureaucratic bullshit hoops Alt-Geoff was making him jump through. He didn’t like the way his crew changed from boyfriends to subordinates as soon as he stepped through the front entrance.

He didn’t mind the shave, though- he was well overdue.

“Why the hell did you become a cop, Ryan?” Geoff asked him as they set up the seminar room up. It was slow work with just the two of them, but it sure as hell beat every officer that walked past asking him what happened to his “glorious moustache”.

Also, Alt-Geoff’s cap kept falling over his eyes and Geoff had to keep fixing it up. This backpack better be worth it in the end.

“You would’ve been the Vagabond for years before joining up under Geoff.” Geoff continued. “And you love breaking the law.”

“That’s all true,” Ryan admitted. “But I got caught.”

“You.” Geoff deadpanned. “Caught. By cops.”

“I was… seduced into falling for a trap.” Ryan said. “Officer Ramsey offered to help clear my name if I put my skills to better use.”

“Under him.”

“Under him. It’s not a bad life.”

“Was it worth giving up being the Vagabond?”

“Oh darling,” Ryan winked at him, slow and dangerous, “who said I ever stopped?”

Geoff paused, a smile flitting across his features.

“Oh no,” Geoff said “you’re fucking with me, aren’t you.”

“Might be.” Ryan replied. “But you won’t stick around long enough to find out.”

“Can I order you to tell me the truth? I’m technically your superior right now.”

“You can try, I won’t stop you.”

It was quiet between them for a few minutes while they each line up chairs, until Ryan spoke again.

“That’s how he found all of us. Me and the Lads. Jack he brought with him.”

“To the LSPD?”

“Arrested for crimes that would put us away for decades, if not the rest of our lives, unless we agreed to work for him. That’s how most people in this precinct got their jobs.”

“He’s got dirt on all of you. And he’s hunting for the Corpirate next.”

“He’s very good at keeping people he wants close, and maintaining connections.” Ryan paused for a second. “I would be careful about letting him keep you close.”

“I’m not letting him-“

“Yes, you are.” Ryan gestured towards the police jacket thrown over Geoff’s left arm, obscuring the hypercube from view. “Remember that, please.”

Geoff frowned, but conceded the point.

“You wanna know how I met my Vagabond? I helped him remove blackmail other people had on him.”

“Kind of you.”

“Yeah, well, it was to stop him from killing me and Jack, but it paid off. Worked with us for a couple of years, got closer, met the Lads, became something more.”

“How did you end up meeting the Lads, if you didn’t arrest them?”

Geoff clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “That’s a long story that involves Fort Zancudo, a different Corpirate, and about three hundred bottles of Ragga Rum. That’s when we really got to know them.”

“And then they joined your criminal empire?”

“Pretty much. You’d be surprised how well we all work together on the other side of the law.”

“I don’t think I would be, to be perfectly honest.” Ryan stopped to perfectly line up a chair against the others. His fingers slid down the side of the backrest, a fingernail tracing the edge of the metal. “You know, I’m not here anymore just because of my initial reasons for signing up. Geoff’s really made something sweet here.”

Jack poked his head into the room and cleared his throat for their attention.

“People’ll start coming in in about five minutes. You all ready in here?”

“Just about.” Ryan called back. “God I hate these things.”

“You don’t even have to talk!”

“I’ll throw in a couple of innuendos for you,” Geoff said. “Keep everyone on their toes.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well,” Geoff shrugged, “I’m gonna. I’d like to see them write up your great and mighty Officer Ramsey for insubordination.”

The seminar went fine. Geoff hated every second of it.

About twenty minutes into it Jack pulled him aside and whispered the evidence they needed had been recorded on a security camera down by the docks. Geoff called the seminar short and cops hurried to deal with the new situation.

“Oh, and Officer Ramsey,” Jack said to him, “I spoke with Officer Haywood. He said he found your jacket hanging up behind the door in your office.”

Geoff pointedly looked at the police jacket hanging off his arm.

“Um. Okay.”

“Behind the door, Officer Ramsey.”

Ah.

“Oh.”

“You should grab it before things really kick off around here,” Jack gave him a long look.

“Right, right, okay. I will, uh, go get it.”

Geoff allowed himself the luxury of squeezing Jack’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

Jack nodded his reply and returned to organising the rest of the officers.

As Geoff suspected, behind Alt-Geoff’s office door, hanging on a hook was Geoff’s backpack. Next to it also was his suit jacket and pants, which was a more minor detail but Geoff was happy to have them back. He left the police jacket on the hook and swapped it for his old clothes, donning the jacket and putting the pants away.

Everything was in there. Glock, Ryan’s knife, watch, phone, superglue. Thin box. Okay.

He filched the police badge Alt-Geoff had lent him too, sliding it into a side pocket of the backpack. Might prove to be useful in the future. He had a little look around the office until he found one of those concealed badge carriers and took that too.

Right. Time to get out of this miserable universe.

Geoff put a hand on the device and hesitated.

There might be another thing he can do here, actually. If he was lucky.

He made his way to the front desk and got the attention of the receptionist there.

“Excuse me,” Geoff asked politely, “do I have a vault, or a lock box around here that I use regularly?”

“Uh,” The receptionist blinked rapidly a few times, his eyebrows furrowing, “Not that I know of, but you do use the second evidence locker a lot. As far as I’m aware, you’re the only one allowed in. Is that right?”

“Yep, that’s perfect, thank you.”

“Why are you asking me about it?”

“Just making sure.”

Geoff found where it was located and opened it with Alt-Geoff’s I.D. Inside was filled with neatly filed paperwork and a few boxes of evidence, but the paperwork was what drew him here. He pulled out a random file and read it over.

“Matt Bragg… arrested for grand theft auto, arson, and grand larceny. Record expunged, July 6^th, 2014.”

This was where Alt-Geoff stored all his blackmail. This was all the original reports and documentation that would’ve been replaced with more sanitised versions. Looks like Geoff did, in fact, get lucky.

“Well Alt-Geoff,” Geoff said to himself, “if this is that nice of a place as Ryan said, working under you, then they’ll do it without the blackmail.”

He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and set to work lighting every stack of paper he saw aflame. Once the room was filled with the cheery glow and acrid smoke made the nearest smoke detector begin its wail, Geoff tossed Alt-Geoff’s officer’s cap onto the blaze, and disappeared.

Geoff opened his eyes to a small room. His stomach rolled, and he couldn’t figure out why. He was on the floor next to bed, where a stunned Alt-Geoff was sitting holding a book.

Alt-Geoff blinked at him.

“Are you real? You look real. You’re the Geoff, aren’t you.”

Geoff didn’t answer him quite yet. His attention was focused on the bed leg, where it was held down with titanium screws.

Geoff’s eyes darted to the door. Six bars.

A dripping tap.

A security camera in the far corner.

Geoff was below Arcadius.

Nope.

No.

Geoff wasn’t doing this again.

He couldn’t.

“Hey, hey,” Alt-Geoff said in a low tone, “if you’re real, go stand under the security camera. Blind spot.”

Gathering his wits, Geoff complied. He held his backpack against his knees and pressed his back against the corner of the cell, under the camera. He wrapped a hand around his Glock with an unsteady grip. He was worried he was going to drop it.

Alt-Geoff looked at him like he was a wild animal that needed to be calmed. He certainly felt like one. Breath too fast, eyes wild. Fingers twitching on the trigger.

He needed to get a grip.

“Arcadius?” Geoff choked out.

Alt-Geoff nodded.

“I take it you’re familiar.”

“We got out.”

“How?”

“Michael killed himself. There’s no audio recording for that camera, right?”

“No.” Alt-Geoff said. “Hey, I know this is a lot to ask, but we’ve been stuck here for months-“

-“You want me to kill you?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure. But I need you to answer some questions for me first. How much time do I have before someone finds out I’m here?”

Alt-Geoff pretended to resume reading, keeping up a charade for the camera.

“A guard comes past every half hour or so, and one went past ten minutes ago. I doubt anyone’s actually looking at the security footage right now, so you’ll probably have twenty minutes, tops. Just in case though, I’m gonna…” Alt-Geoff made a slight gesture with the book.

Geoff tightened his grip on the Glock. “That’s not enough time. That’s not enough- I can’t stay here, but I can’t leave yet.”

Geoff considered the Glock.

Alt-Geoff’s eyes flicked over to Geoff and then back to his book. “You’re not stuck in a loop like me, are you?”

“Not anymore.”

“They need me and the others alive. If we disappear, they’ll need you. They won’t kill you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Alt-Geoff twisted a few hairs of his moustache into place.

“Once you shoot me, all the guards will come running. Get out of here, turn left, then take a right and there’ll be a set of emergency exit stairs. Get an I.D badge off someone and you can make it all the way up. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Geoff took a few deep breaths. “Also, just so you know. You do actually leave a corpse behind. You don’t just disappear.”

“Huh. I would’ve thought everything just kinda… transferred across. So what does change universes?”

“I don’t know,” Geoff replied, “other dimensions and strings are probably involved though. Hopefully enough to make us, us.”

“You don’t know?”

“I always felt like me,” Geoff admitted, “in the Zancudo loops. Even if technically it wasn’t my skin and bones.”

“Well it’s my skin now.” Alt-Geoff said. “Anybody who wants it will have to kill me for it.”

Geoff, despite himself, grinned a little.

Alt-Geoff closed his book.

“I keep feeling like you’re gonna disappear on me. Can we do this now then, please?”

“You ready?”

“Yeah. You know how you’re gonna get out of this cell?”

“Yep.” Geoff levelled the gun at him.

“Just-“ Alt-Geoff said, raising a hand.

“What?”

“We make it, right? You solved this,” Alt-Geoff gestured around him, “and this is something else?”

Geoff nodded. “We make it. The Corporate’s dead and we’re out of the loop. You’re gonna be fine, okay? Everyone’s gonna be fine and you’ll see them soon.” He paused for moment, then added “Don’t worry about Ray. Also, if you meet someone named Jeremy Dooley and he isn’t actively trying to kill you, trust him with your life. Everyone’s lives.”

“What happens to Ray?”

“I just said don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine. Don’t think too hard about it. Close your eyes, please.”

Alt-Geoff did so and Geoff shot him.

It was weird, it felt weird pulling the trigger, knowing it was his hand that did it but he couldn’t feel a thing. Could barely hear the bang and it echoing around the enclosed space, or the static in his ears afterwards. There was a little flash of light, Geoff remembered later, and that might’ve been from the gun, but it probably wasn’t.

It took a couple of seconds spent staring at the blood forming a puddle on the floor before Geoff snapped back to himself.

He had to get ready to move.

At least Alt-Geoff’s eyes were closed. That helped.

But his corpse looked emptier than any he’d seen before.

There would be panic, now, outside. The Corpirate’s six most valuable prisoners were gone and their device shattered. Guards would have heard the shot. Geoff braced himself next to the cell door and waited for a guard to approach.

Barely twenty seconds went past before running footsteps approached. Someone masculine swore. There was the sound of someone fumbling for his keys and as soon as the cell door opened Geoff shot him too.

Geoff took his I.D badge and his keys too, for good measure. Then he was out the door and sprinting towards the left end of the corridor.

Someone shouted behind him. An alarm started up.

Geoff paused at the end of the corridor long enough to check there was no-one down the left end of it before continuing down the right turn. Two guards were running towards him and Geoff lurched to a halt and fired. Two shots, two bodies. Geoff leapt over their corpses and carried on.

There was even signage pointing towards the emergency stairs. There were people just turning the distant corner but Geoff tapped the I.D card and was through the door before they could spot him. Hopefully.

He darted up three stairs and stopped.

The stairs ended with a blank wall just at the top of the flight.

There were no emergency stairs. It was a ruse just in case someone escaped; they could even follow the signage right to this point.

Geoff was trapped, and it was likely everyone in the facility would think to look here first.

“Fine, fine,” Geoff muttered to himself, “plan B. I need a plan B.”

He didn’t need to escape. He just needed to stay out of sight for a few short hours. This place was made up of storerooms and long, dark corridors. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find somewhere to hunker down.

Yep. That’s what he’ll do.

Geoff hit the two guards just as they tried to come through the door – one went down without a fight but the other staggered back safe in his body armour. Before he could recover, Geoff moved in with Ryan’s knife and sliced his gut open. The guard collapsed and Geoff took off back down the same way he came, reloading as he did.

He had to hide deeper in the facility. He couldn’t bear to go back down the corridor with his cell, but there was that initial left turn and the corridor that continued down the opposite way. Geoff sprinted past the opening but attracted the attention of the small crowd down the adjoining corridor, right near his cell.

He couldn’t fight them all at once. He needed to be out of sight, now.

Geoff hung a left, a right, and then another left. Broke the line of sight.

Not quite distantly enough, he heard shouting behind him.

“We’ve lost number seven too!”

“Fucking shit.”

There didn’t seem to be anyone in this part of the facility. The doors on either side thinned, the lights yellowed, the number of boxes and storage detritus stored by the walls increased.

The corridor spun sharply to the left. Geoff pushed off the opposite wall and stopped dead.

Geoff pulled his Glock up but he wasn’t quick enough.

A hand tore the gun out of his grip and threw it to the tiles.

Geoff froze.

There was a tall, insidious man standing before him, who’d been lying in wait around the corner. Geoff would’ve been able to pick him out of a crowd, any crowd, even a stadium full of people. Nobody else had the same height, the same bulk, the same red birthmark streaking across his face like a spray of blood. The same look in his eyes like he already knew all your worst secrets, all your biggest regrets and you hadn’t even opened your mouth yet. Like he’d figured out you were dirt and he was waiting for you to catch on.

Geoff had given him a half a dozen different names in the time they’d spent together during the longest fortnight of his life, most of them curses, but Michael’s always fit best.

The Inconvenience.

Geoff took a halting step back.

The Inconvenience took a measured step forwards.

Geoff bolted.

That hand that was so fast before shot back out and grabbed his backpack. Geoff whirled around and lashed out with Ryan’s knife. The strike was caught but Geoff twisted out of the grip, dropping the knife, and slithered out of the bag straps.

The backpack flew at Geoff and it cost him a precious second to push it away. A hand appeared around his throat and forced him backwards, back into the wall. Loose papers kicked up as his feet scrambled to find purchase but the other hand came up and tangled in his suit jacket, knuckles pressing uncomfortably against his collarbone, and the ground disappeared.

The air in his lungs vanished. Geoff brought his hands up to free himself but they were trembling, they were weak and panicked and he couldn’t think of anything else except go, go, run, and there was darkness edging in on his peripheries.

The Inconvenience lowered his eyes to meet Geoff’s and there was the hint of a frown in his eyebrows.

“A shame, Mr Ramsey.” The Inconvenience said with measured care. “I almost expected better of you.”

Geoff wondered, briefly, how long and hard Alt-Geoff dreamed about running up those emergency stairs. About pelting up those however-many flights it was, legs burning like his lungs after so much inactivity, and finally seeing sunlight that was too bright and tasting unfiltered dirty city air.

Maybe, deep down, Alt-Geoff knew the only way to really escape The Inconvenience’s attention was death. That was why he didn’t offer to help Geoff more, try to leave here together and then sort himself out.

Maybe Geoff didn’t ask him to, because Geoff deep down knew the same thing.

And Geoff’s universe dissolved into darkness.

Chapter Text

Geoff came back to awareness slowly.

He dozed in and out of consciousness a couple of times with only the faintest recollection of words, movement, lights. Someone tugging on his arm. Fabric shifting. When he finally woke up the rest of the way it was to a very dry mouth and a persistent sluggishness that was a struggle to fight past.

But he did, because the second thing he registered was a familiar interrogation room and a table and he shifted instantly into high alert.

Geoff jerked in his seat, but he couldn’t move far. He looked down at himself, and found his arms gripped securely around his waist by the sleeves of a straightjacket.

He couldn’t reach the hypercube.

Which, he supposed, was the whole point, but that logical thought didn’t stop him from twisting around every which way and that in an attempt to reach it and get out of here, fuck his backpack. The hypercube glowed at full luminosity, which meant Geoff had been out for quite a while. Must have been stuck him with something while The Inconvenience had him, he guessed.

Christ. The Inconvenience. Geoff shouldn’t have been so surprised to see him, but then again, Geoff was used to the idea of him being dead.

If he gets out of this, and the next universe is like this one, Geoff doesn’t know what he’ll do.

In the meantime, The Inconvenience is probably going to come by, just like old times. Geoff half-heartedly kicked at the door, but that didn’t achieve anything so he sat back down. There was not much for him to do in the interim except fret about what will happen once The Inconvenience comes.

Nothing but work himself up into a panicked frenzy, because that’s what always happened before and The Inconvenience had months of practice with Alt-Geoff. At least him and his Gents and Lads are back in Zancudo now, together again.

Probably the only time Geoff’s going to think that again.

It also leaves Geoff wondering how much this universe’s Corpirate and Inconvenience know about alien technology, given they’ve had longer to study it than the pair in Geoff’s worst universe had.

Geoff supposed he’ll find out.

It took about another thirty minutes, by Geoff's reckoning, for the door to open and The Inconvenience to step inside. Geoff jumped a little at the noise, so tightly wound it surprised him, and schooled a glower on his face.

He could do this. He’s different now, a much stronger person. All he needs to do is tolerate The Inconvenience for a few hours, and then he can focus on figuring a way out of this.

The Inconvenience placed a leather briefcase on the table, and pulled out a manila folder and an expensive looking pen. Straightening his suit jacket, he settled down and commenced writing, and the only sound in the room was the gentle scratching of the pen across pages. Not once did he look at Geoff.

Geoff tolerated this for about ten minutes before breaking the silence as the sitting here, waiting, was going to kill him.

"Would you mind getting on with it?" Geoff said hotly.

The Inconvenience finished his paragraph before replying.

"You've had the option to speak whenever you've wanted to, Mr Ramsey." He slid a page back into the folder and withdrew another. "Don't feel as if you must wait for me to start."

"You're not even gonna say hello?"

"It has been made clear to me that we're already quite well acquainted. Would it help you feel like you've regained some control over your situation if I introduced myself?"

The Inconvenience looked up pointedly to draw attention to Geoff's position, and then resumed writing.

Some anger was useful. Geoff allowed some of his frustration to come up to the surface. Not enough to distract him, or make him careless, but he needed something to fight back the fear. He needed something to hold on to and give him just a bit of strength.

Geoff leaned forward and blew a sharp breath across the table top. A couple of pages flipped over and slid off towards the ground, including the one The Inconvenience was writing on.

The Inconvenience, very slowly and with deliberate care, capped the lid of his pen and placed it back in the briefcase.

"And to think I was concerned, Mr Ramsey," The Inconvenience said, "that I'd already ripped all the fight out of you."

"It comes back.” Geoff replied.

"I'm quite sure." The Inconvenience moved the briefcase to the side of the table, and now there was nothing between them. "If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take? For me to do my job, I mean. Feedback is always appreciated."

Geoff's fingers twitched inside the jacket. He didn't respond.

"I can tell you how long it took in this universe, if you'd like." The Inconvenience continued. "almost down to the minute. You and I. We've spent a lot of time together."

It was warm, in the jacket, and the room was too. But none of that stopped Geoff from shivering just then.

"Alt-Geoff, you mean." Geoff clarified.

The Inconvenience inclined his head. "Of course."

But his eyes never left Geoff's.

"Alt-Geoff. His Gents and the Lads." Geoff said. “They’ll be fine. You, the Corpirate, eventually it'll all just... fade. I haven’t thought about you in years."

"Mr. Ramsey," The Inconvenience chided, "you should know better than to lie to me.”

"That’s true. You’re right.” Geoff said. “I do think of you, often. And it’s with a smile on my face.”

“And why’s that?”

"Because I know what your corpse looks like."

"I'd imagine it looks like me," The Inconvenience said lightly. "now-"

"-Oh no, no." Geoff cut him off. "Not after Ryan was done with it."

For a flash, The Inconvenience looked uncomfortable.

Geoff smiled.

"Did you know what kind of noises come out of someone without a tongue? I didn't. Now I do. Presumably, for a short while, you did too."

"I imagine that would have been quite cathartic." The Inconvenience said. "Thank you for telling me. It's not every day you are presented with an opportunity to avenge your own death."

"I am literally one of the only people on the planet that you can’t say that to." Geoff said. "But fine by me.” Geoff straightened his back. “You want to think up some sick, twisted torture for me for revenge? Okay, go ahead. You want to kill me? You can. But the other people who helped kill you? Who you should wanna hurt just as bad? They’ll never know what happened here. You can't use me to hurt them, or vice versa, ever again."

The Inconvenience's eyes lit up. "You're alone."

Geoff froze.

"You're alone," The Inconvenience said again, "and your crew doesn’t know where you are, or what you’re doing. Are you using that hypercube to jump around universes, trying to look for them? Get home?"

Ice water trickled down Geoff’s spine. He’d screwed up. He thought he finally had the upper hand, but that clearly wasn’t the case. Just walked into another of The Inconvenience’s traps.

"And you were surprised to appear in my Mr Ramsey's cell." The Inconvenience fixed Geoff with a hard look. "You're not in control of where you're going. Just how far away from home are you?"

Geoff said nothing. He was sure his face said it all, anyway.

"And if you can't control where you're going, how exactly do you expect to get there? You're adrift. No one knows where you are. No one's coming for you. How do you really expect this to all turn out?"

Geoff had to look away.

"You're in denial, Mr Ramsey. You're not ever going home. And you can run through universes as fast as the hypercube will let you but it's not working. It isn't going to work, and you know it."

"Just shut the fuck up, would you?" Geoff snapped. "There’s a hell of a lot more to it than that.”

The Inconvenience looked down at Geoff through slitted eyes.

“Then enlighten me.”

Geoff glared at him.

“I don’t have to. I'm not here to play your stupid little games."

The Inconvenience leaned forward, splaying his hands across the table.

"Yes, you are. We can sit here, and I can explain to you exactly why you’ll never see your home again, even outside of your current predicament. We can talk until we’re both old and grey. Or,” The Inconvenience leaned back, “We could help each other. As much as I enjoy this whole song and dance, our time can be put to better use. We both want answers. My employer has a large scientific team working to understand the alien technology, and you have experience with more technology than we've encountered before. Together, we could get to the real heart of it all.”

“What’s the point of it for me, then?” Geoff asked. “If I’m gonna be stuck here forever.”

The Inconvenience bent over and picked up one of the papers Geoff had blown away. He flattened it, teasing one of the corners back into place. He slid it in front of Geoff.

On it was a rendering of the hypercube. Accompanying the image was a series of graphs, and some interpretations written in clear English next to them. In the margins, wild speculations about purpose, limitations, and possible other uses ran wild from half a dozen different pens. A small note in the corner detailed better ways of securing the broken piece, compounds that worked better than superglue. It even proposed one of them might restore the hypercube to full functionality.

And there was a recommendation, in The Inconvenience’s neat script, for the Corpirate to attempt to try using the helmet on it.

“Because, Mr Ramsey,” The Inconvenience said, “I haven’t ripped all the fight out of you yet.”

Geoff was still for about fifteen seconds, staring at the paper.

"Fine."

“The moment you appeared in Mr Ramsey’s cell, we detected a slight gravitational anomaly in the area.” The Inconvenience explained. “Not just in your cell, but in five others. I believe you can guess who occupied them.”

“Yeah, I think I can. They all leave bodies behind as well?”

“They did.”

“And the device shattered at the same time?”

“It did.”

“Nice.”

The Inconvenience stacked some papers in a neat pile. “If this information ever left this building, I believe string theorists across the globe would be pleased. A slight change in the local gravity is indicative that other spacial dimensions are involved, in a way that suits their research.”

“No, yeah, I knew that already,” Geoff said. He hooked an ankle around his chair leg and shifted closer to the table. “Alien technology is comprised of more branes, or something. More dimensions, more gravity. Makes sense there’s a bit of that involved when changing universes. That explanation’s a couple of years old though. Take it with a grain of salt.”

The Inconvenience raised an eyebrow. “And who gave that explanation?”

Geoff worried his lip. Yeah, no. He wasn’t going to throw Gus under the bus if he could avoid it. Since his crew was no longer here, it couldn’t hurt to give The Inconvenience some details, but still. “If you don’t know yet, then that’s something I can’t tell you.”

“So you have someone external you can discuss this with. Someone else you’re trying to protect, that’s still in this universe.”

If Geoff could’ve, he would’ve flipped him off. “I suppose.”

“It would work in your favour to co-operate to your best ability.”

“Yeah, like this could get any worse.”

“I need something useful to send to our researchers. We can’t remove the hypercube from your arm,” The Inconvenience shed his suit jacket and placed it over his chair’s back, “but I can always remove the arm, and send that to them.”

What is it with people and trying to cut his arm off? He’s been more worried about that limb in the last however many weeks than he had the rest of his life.

And The Inconvenience was giving him cause for concern as well. Once Geoff agreed to work together, it felt like he dropped a few layers of… himself. He was more casual, and Geoff couldn’t figure out what he wanted. Did he really want answers, or was this a new way to manipulate him? Either way, it was off putting.

“That’s not gonna work.” Geoff said, staring at the shed suit jacket. “The hypercube’s attached to my fourth dimension. It’s stuck with me.”

The Inconvenience shrugged. “I could do it anyway.”

“You need a hobby, man.”

The Inconvenience released a long, slow breath. “We’ll come back to this. In the meantime, I wanted to ask you about a signal-“

“Oh, the signal you got about me?” Geoff cut in. “Yeah, I know about that. You’re not the first one to get it.”

“Do you know who’s sending it?”

“Nope. I just know it’s looking for me, and this iteration of me specifically. Nor do I know what I did to attract their attention.”

“Do you think,” The Inconvenience said, “It might not be something you’ve done, but something you will do?”

“Not likely.” Geoff replied. “Time travel’s not possible.”

“And yet, you exist right now in a time several years behind your native one.” The Inconvenience argued. “A few years ago, you knew nothing about other universes, or alien technology. Is it possible you don’t know everything about time as well?”

“It’s not really fair to call it my native time,” Geoff said, “considering the one I came from isn’t my native universe.” The Inconvenience narrowed his eyes at that. “But you have a good point. Time may be a line, but so is a string.”

“It can twist and double back and loop over and over, and over again.” The Inconvenience finished.

Geoff inclined his head in agreement.

“It’s interesting how the signal differentiates between you and every other Mr Ramsey,” The Inconvenience said. He tapped his pen against his chin. “I wonder… are you familiar at all with the concept of string theory?”

Geoff screwed his face up.

“I live string theory. Every time I use this,” Geoff tried to indicate at his arm but only succeeded in twisting his shoulders around, “string theory and I become well acquainted.”

“What is it like, travelling between universes?”

Geoff’s eyes dropped to the papers on the table.

“It’s getting ripped apart,” Geoff said. “Not just your body and your brain. It feels like your soul shatters into a million tiny strings. Emotions, memories, they all go. It’s quick but you can still feel it. And then suddenly you’re a person again, sitting next to a clone of yourself, or close enough.”

“That part interests me,” The Inconvenience said, “the security footage shows you appearing from inside the other Ramsey, but as far as our experts can tell nothing’s unusual about the corpse.”

“I just assumed the hypercube was dragging my whole body across instead of, like, just my consciousness or whatever like the original device.”

“Except that would put more matter, and so energy, into this universe and that’s impossible. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. I suppose there are ways to rearrange objects to make that happen, but that’s not possible either.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow at him. “A few months ago you knew nothing about alien technology and other universes. Maybe you just don’t know enough about, what was it? Rearranging objects?”

“There is a little more to it than that.” The Inconvenience said. “Take something and cut it into an infinite number of pieces. Split the pile of pieces into two. What’s half of infinity?”

“I don’t know and I don’t fucking care.”

“It’s infinity. Now, take one of the piles, with its infinite pieces, and rearrange them back into the original object. Do the same with the other pile. Which one is the original?”

“Still don’t know. But I would love to do that with, say, a gold bar. I’d get rich as shit.”

“And that’s why your description of changing universes will be of interest to our researchers. We didn’t make any headway with the other universe changing device,” The Inconvenience pointed at the hypercube, “but I don’t think the same will happen with that.”

“Wait,” Geoff said, “you didn’t end up doing anything to the original device?”

“We tried up until the point at which you made it explode.”

“Well you changed a setting or something within a fortnight in my universe.”

“Oh?” The Inconvenience asked. “I did?”

“The timing of the reset changing? That didn’t happen in this universe?”

“Apparently not.”

Geoff, as well as he could, shrugged.

“That kinda cements it for me.”

“Cements what?”

Geoff could feel a smug smile cross his face.

“That it looks like it doesn’t matter what you want, or what experts you have. The tech doesn’t care about you. All this alien technology? The spaceship crash? It was all for me. For me, by me, for me to do again.”

The Inconvenience steepled his fingers together.

“And to what end?”

There was a knock at the door.

The Inconvenience pursed his lips.

"Excuse me," he told Geoff, and approached the door.

"I was not anticipating any interruptions," The Inconvenience opened the door, "so this had better be-"

Lindsay Tuggey punched him right on the nose.

"You'd better believe it's fucking good," Lindsay said. She hefted a backpack over her shoulder while The Inconvenience staggered backwards, his nose bleeding. Lindsay strode into the room. "I've got a bone to pick with you."

Geoff stared at Lindsay with his mouth hanging open.

"Miss Tuggey," The Inconvenience said, blood dribbling down his chin. "number seven. How nice of you to join us."

"Shut up, shitcunt." Lindsay pulled Geoff's Glock out from behind her and shot him in the groin. "You're not the one I've got a bone for."

The Inconvenience grunted and collapsed to the floor, curling up.

"That came out wrong."

Lindsay swivelled the gun around to point at Geoff.

"Are they dead?"

Geoff spluttered for a few seconds, trying to find his voice.

“What?”

"My crew. Michael. Are they dead?"

"M-Michael?”

Lindsay strode the rest of the way over and pressed the gun against Geoff’s forehead.

“Reddish hair, freckles? Told me he trusted you with his life, but I saw his corpse in a lab. We all did and look what happened. So you’ve got some explaining to do.”

“They all reset!” Geoff leaned away from the gun. “They’re all back in Zancudo, safe and sound. Look, just get me out of this stupid jacket and I’ll explain everything.”

“Nope. Here’s what we’re gonna do-“

There was an implosion, like all the air rushed out of the room and pushed its way back in at twice the speed, twice the heat.

“I may have set the lab on fire.” Lindsay said. “You help me get out of this hellhole and then I’ll take that off for ya.”

The Inconvenience groaned on the ground.

“Oh, hush it.” Lindsay told him.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Geoff said, standing. “But I don’t think I’m gonna be much use to you if I can’t hold a gun.”

“Nonsense,” Lindsay slipped a bag strap around his neck. “You’re my pack-horse. Come on, move it or lose it.”

“Wait, wait, hold on-“

“-That “lose it” was literal. I have no idea what fucking chemicals n’ shit I set on fire-“

“-Can you at least kill him before we go?” Geoff gestured at The Inconvenience with his foot.

Lindsay shot him in the neck. There was a lot of blood.

“Thanks.”

“Didn’t really do it for you, pal.”

They were halfway out the door before Lindsay stopped again.

“Oh yeah, one more thing. Remember to keep quiet, okay?”

“Okay?”

Lindsay vanished into thin fucking air.

Geoff made an aborted sound before a warm weight touched his shoulder and he vanished as well.

“Found this weird suit in the lab,” Lindsay whispered, “I can get it to work most of the time. Not too sure about two people.”

“It’s fine, I’ve seen this before. Prince James had something similar.”

“Who?”

Half a dozen guards sprinted around a corner. Lindsay pushed Geoff against the wall and they ran past without saying a word. One of them came close enough for Geoff to feel the wind of his passing.

The air grew warmer. Geoff detected a slight haze in the air.

“We’ll follow them.” Lindsay murmured.

Lindsay’s invisible hand on his shoulder, they made their way as quickly as they could hopefully towards an exit. They passed the original door Geoff tried, with the false exit, without slowing down.

Lindsay must’ve come down this way before. How long had she been wandering around down here, invisible? Knowing her crew was dead? Knowing the man responsible for it all was still sitting here, in a straightjacket?

They stopped frequently to allow people behind them to hurry past. As time went on, they had to stop at less frequent intervals. An alarm started up, but cut out quickly from the nearest speaker as most likely the heat got to it.

They scurried up a couple of staircases and the space opened up. Fewer corridors, more open rooms and laboratories to hurry past. Even more stairs, which Geoff’s legs ached in protest against.

Finally some signs told them they were close to a main entrance. Considering this was the same direction everyone else was running in, Geoff was inclined to believe them.

There was a grand staircase in the centre of the room which let in natural sunlight.

The surface.

Geoff knew of only one other time where seeing natural light had such an effect on him and this was really a close second.

This room was far more open and far more empty than the previous ones. There was only one other person in it and it lumbered to its feet.

It must’ve been eight feet tall, and was a dark grey in colour. It was very hairy, and sported a long red beard.

“Oh fuck.” Geoff said. “That’s the fucking gorilla-man.”

“Who in the fuck?” Lindsay said.

The gorilla-man sniffed at the air and turned towards them.

Lindsay dropped her hand from Geoff’s shoulder, presumably to hold Geoff’s Glock in two hands. Geoff could see himself again, which in any other circumstance except for this one would’ve been a good thing.

There were three gunshots.

Two missed, and the one that didn’t was completely ignored. The gorilla-man’s eyes focused on Geoff.

“Oh that’s not gonna work.” Geoff said, and kicked at where he thought Lindsay’s ankle might be. “Please turn me invisible again.”

He kicked her probably a bit too hard, and there was a moment of static before Lindsay appeared in front of him.

“Ow, fuck yourself.” Lindsay said to Geoff.

The gorilla-man charged.

Lindsay and Geoff sprinted away as fast as their legs could take them.

“Left! Left!” Geoff shouted, and they dashed down some stairs and into a lab on the left.

“We’re screwed, we’re so screwed,” Lindsay said. She bumped into a desk. “Jesus, my hip.”

“Now would be great if you could do the invisible thing again,” Geoff said between breaths.

Lindsay threw a door open and they ran into a second lab. Behind them, a cacophony of crashing and electronic smashing.

In front of them, a wall of heat and smoke.

They had to keep running.

“Sometimes it takes me a little while to work it out.” Lindsay replied. “Here, slow down for a sec, I gotta grab something from the backpack.”

Geoff slowed down just a fraction, enough for the backpack to stop moving around so much. He heard zippers and Lindsay muttering to herself as they weaved around chairs and tables. The worst kind of cyan light occasionally spotted a table but they ran past without a second thought to them.

Lindsay zipped the bag up.

“This’ll distract him, right?”

It was a concussion grenade.

“I didn’t bring that,” Geoff said, “Where the hell did you get-“

“-Answer the damn question before we die, please.”

“If it explodes right in his face, yeah.”

“That’s what we’ll do, then.” Lindsay paused to cough away some smoke. “Hit him with this- shit!”

Lindsay pulled Geoff out of the way just as a chair screamed past his head. The gorilla-man was upon them.

Lindsay released the fuse, waited about two and a half seconds, then tossed it.

Geoff didn’t see it impact because he was preoccupied with throwing himself behind a desk. The explosion was loud, and bright, and the gorilla-man roared.

Geoff felt more than heard the gorilla-man crash into a far wall. At the same time, Lindsay grabbed onto his shoulder and rested her head on her hand.

They sat there, still as statues, for about twenty seconds while the gorilla-man thrashed about. The blast probably threw off his balance as well as his sight and hearing. Only once did he crash into the desk they were hiding behind, and they jolted forward.

Finally, they disappeared.

It was not too difficult, after that, to sneak out of the labs and make their way back to the entrance.

They jogged up the stairs into a world of light and colour.

One more glass door, already ajar from other evacuating people, and they were outside and amongst the smoke and the noise and Lindsay’s hand slipped away and they were visible again.

“We did it.” Geoff breathed.

Because it turned out there was one other way to escape The Inconvenience, and she was looking at him with faded pink and blonde hair, a wild look in her eyes, and a gun in her hand.

“Of course we did.” Lindsay replied, eyes shining. “Now I’m gonna steal a car, you can direct me to a safehouse, and we’ll see about getting that thing off you, okay? The people around here are giving you weird looks.”

“Yep, sounds good to me.” Geoff heaved a deep breath. His lungs filled with car exhaust, rubbish from a nearby bin, and cigarette smoke. It tasted good. “And we’ve got a hell of a lot of things to talk about on the way.”

Chapter Text

Lindsay was not the best driver.

“So.” Lindsay said, pushing open the front door of Geoff’s apartment. It was made of heavy oak, and had a complex locking mechanism inside. She wasn’t prepared for the weight, so it took her a few seconds to gather enough force to move it. “My boys are not dead. They’re in another dimension.”

“Yep.” Geoff kicked over a pile of mail sat next to the door. The dates towards the bottom of the pile were five months earlier than the ones on top.

“And you’re from another dimension too. But not the same one.”

“Nope.”

“Because there’s an infinite number of dimensions. And I happen to exist in the one where you pass through.”

“Yep.”

“Okay, cool. I think we’re both on the same page now.”

Lindsay stepped to the side and allowed Geoff to enter the apartment. He wasn’t surprised it was still here- the building’s owner would’ve been stupid to rent it out or something until he had proof that the Gents weren’t coming back. There was a smell in the air, a sort of musty, dusty smell mixed with old food that made Geoff wrinkle his nose. Didn’t smell much like home.

Home was sweat, and clutter, and laughter. Cleaning up after the Lads. Helping Jack take care of his greenery. Controllers and game disks scattered about. Steam from takeaway blocking the view to the TV. The cleanliness of this apartment that only contained Gents was now foreign to him.

“We’re probably a long was off same page still. But we’re definitely in the same book.”

Geoff managed to tell Lindsay most of the important details in the car ride over, in between expletives. Lindsay liked to drive fast and without restraint.

Lindsay was pretty sure her apartment would've been sold by now, but after they were done here she was going to check if her cats were still alive and kicking around there. There was a good chance someone would’ve taken them in, Lindsay sounded quite optimistic.

In fact, Lindsay was taking all this new information and her situation in her stride, whereas Geoff was quickly feeling the effects of the last hour or so kicking in as the adrenaline rush wore off. His arms were stiff, his feet burned, and his eyes stung from the smoke Lindsay caused under Arcadius.

But Geoff could handle all that. Lindsay was alive, she was here and she wasn’t dead, and she’d helped him and taken care of the Inconvenience and stole some alien technology- Lindsay was alive.

When had the Inconvenience killed Lindsay in his own timeline? It would have been right after Michael made his escape attempt. That suggested Michael hadn’t done so in this universe. Geoff could vaguely recall seeing some bolts in Alt-Geoff’s cell. So that was why this universe was different to his own.

Lindsay told him in the car that she was outside her cell when Geoff appeared in his, and was able to take out her guard. She snuck into a lab and browbeat a scientist into giving her information, not just about the tech in the room but the Lads and Gent’s situation. From there, she’d found him.

Geoff directed Lindsay to Jack’s spare room where he knew there was usually a pair of fabric scissors lying about. If they weren't there, then Ryan’s room. He would help her look, but he still couldn’t use his damn arms. Geoff was getting real fucking tired of using his feet for everything and needing Lindsay’s assistance. The sooner he could get out of the jacket, and this universe while he’s at it, the better.

Geoff took up a position leaning against his dining room table and waited for Lindsay. He hated being here, not just in an apartment he didn’t feel comfortable in anymore, but the whole universe. The Inconvenience had tainted it somehow, and it didn’t help much as much as he’d thought to think about his death.

The first Inconvenience to torture him was still alive and out there, most likely. That managed to be a worse thought.

Better to think about Lindsay’s coming questions, questions he’d spent the last few weeks answering. He could do that in his sleep.

“You and Michael lied to me.” Lindsay said, arriving with the scissors.

Geoff blinked a couple of times.

“Uh-“

-“It’s not a time loop.”

Geoff clicked his tongue. “I thought we went over this.”

“Not in the car. Before Arcadius, at my house. You and Michael both led me to believe there was a time loop involved.”

“Uhhhhh… well it is,” Geoff argued, trying to defend his alternate self in a conversation he didn’t remember having what would’ve been years ago at this point. “just not a classic one. Your Lads and my Gents always go to back to the same point in time. Just not in space. But telling the Lindsays it’s a time loop worked well for a quick explanation.”

“The Lindsays, huh.” Lindsay pursed her lips at that. “How did you figure it out? That you were changing universes, I mean.”

Geoff scrunched his face up. “How did we… oh yeah, Gus told us.”

“Gus?”

“A very old friend of mine. Speaking of, he’ll have some great advice for you about that invisibility suit you’re wearing. He knows a thing or two about alien technology. I’ll give you his address and the secret knock and he’ll be happy to help you out.”

“You’re being real generous with what I assume are crew secrets, Geoff.” Lindsay said.

Geoff shrugged.

“I keep forgetting you’re not the Lindsay I’ve known for years.”

Lindsay got to work with the scissors, freeing Geoff from the jacket. “She a lot like me?”

“Almost identical. Would it go to your head if I told you she’s my boss now?”

Geoff could feel Lindsay laughing behind him, the cold edge of the scissor blade jumping against his neck. She halted her progress through the collar to avoid cutting him.

“I bet that’s the only way you and my Lads have kept the peace so long. God, years working together. I thought this was just going to be a one-time sorta deal, where the Gents and Lads would go back to being enemies at the end of it. And now, uh.”

The shaking behind him turned into something else.

“They left me here.” Lindsay said quietly.

“Lindsay-“

-“they knew, and they left me anyway.”

Geoff huffed out a breath through his nose, and slumped his shoulders. There was a pregnant pause while Geoff tried to think of something reassuring to say. Something that would help her through the crisis he now knew was slowly falling over Lindsay’s head.

“No, Lindsay, it wasn’t like that. They didn’t know, not at the start. They didn’t get a choice. You have to understand that they were in a shitty, life or death situation and while it was unfair of them to do that to you, they did the best they could.”

“How many universes did it take?” Lindsay asked.

“For my Lands and Gents to get out? We don’t know for sure, but it was probably around twelve hundred.”

“Twelve hundred…” Lindsay trailed off. “That many Lindsays. They would have passed through… oh. Then the last time I saw my Lads, the real ones, would’ve been when I said goodbye to them before they left for Zancudo.”

Geoff stared solidly out the window in front of him. It was the middle of the day, and a few helicopters traced a path towards an unseen destination. A news helicopter, and two police. They were far enough away Geoff couldn’t hear their blades. It was a fair guess to assume they were headed towards Arcadius, or, what was left of it. Geoff focused on the weight of Lindsay’s hand on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, but the Lads you knew are long gone. But here’s the thing. The Lads you saw that afternoon, that you’ve spent the last however many weeks locked up with, did you ever think they weren’t the ones you knew?”

“No, I didn’t think-“

-“Because they were the same, in every way that mattered. You’re allowed to mourn them of course, God knows it took me a few weeks to adjust after we got out. Grieving for people I wouldn’t see again, and then say hi to the very next day. They’re gone from here, yeah, but they’re not dead. Not really.”

“What now?”

“They’ll get out of the loop. They’ll join together with the Gents to form a new crew called the Fakes, and you’ll run it. Keep them from doing anything too stupid, mostly by doing something even stupider.”

“That’s great for them,” Lindsay said, “But what should I do?”

Geoff shook his head a little. “I don’t know. Whatever you want, I suppose. Start again. I know the original Lindsay burned Zancudo to the ground. Ray said it looked like she had a new look, maybe a new crew. You can do the same.”

He felt Lindsay take a deep breath behind him.

“Doesn’t sound like I’m like the Lindsay you knew at all.” Lindsay sniffed. “Because that’s not gonna cut it. Original Lindsay my ass.”

Lindsay spun Geoff around until they were facing each other. There were tears still tracing paths down her cheeks but there was a hard set to her watery eyes.

“You’ve done this all before. You’ve got all the answers. So tell me. How do I get them back? My Lads, not some copies from another universe. How do I bring my Lads back here?”

Geoff pursed his lips and shook his head again. “I don’t have nearly as many answers as you think.”

“Then what was your plan to get back to your universe? I can go to them.”

“I need an alien helmet to control the device on my arm,” Geoff explained, “but if the Corpirate had his in Arcadius, it’s probably gone up in flames by now.”

“But you said some dickhead across the ocean had the same tech? Why don’t I go steal his, and one of those cube things on your arm?”

“Lindsay, no.” Geoff said. “Prince James has heaps more working tech than the Corpirate, and people trained to use it. That includes another invisibility suit like you’re wearing. You go to him and you die, do you understand?”

Lindsay looked unfazed. “What if you help me?”

But Geoff was already shaking his head in earnest. “Absolutely not. I wouldn’t be much help, and I’m not giving James the opportunity to lock me up over there. I’m sick of being tied down and studied. Or he’d kill me.” Geoff paused for a long moment, considering. “But you’re forgetting something else.”

“What?”

“Your original Lads? When they get out of their loop, they’ll have another Lindsay there with them. One who acted as a distraction for the Corpirate and helped them. And while they’ll mourn you, just as my Lads mourned their original Lindsay, they’ll accept the new Lindsay as just Lindsay. Because she’s the same in the most important way.”

“And what’s that.”

Geoff cracked a sad smile. “She loves them just the same. And that wouldn’t be fair to her, to shove another Lindsay into that mix.”

Lindsay’s face fell. She turned Geoff back around and made the final few cuts to free him. Geoff let her work in silence.

The jacket fell away. Geoff shook his arms out, getting some blood flowing again. A visible weight lifted from his shoulders when he checked over the hypercube on his arm, brightly glowing. His fingers twitched, desperate to leave this terrible universe, but he’d made a promise first.

Geoff pulled a pen and paper from his backpack and wrote down Gus’s details. He slid it across the table towards Lindsay but stopped short. He’d had an idea.

“I have an idea.”

Lindsay looked up at Geoff. He met her eyes evenly.

“Come with me.”

“With you?”

“Yeah,” Geoff nodded, “I can bring stuff with me across universes. My backpack. Food, living things. I bet I can take you with me. Please, Lindsay. Let me try.” As the idea formed in his mind, he couldn’t stop his words growing more frantic and pleading.

This was a game changer. If he had someone with him, who he could talk to and not have to leave behind? Who was reliable and thought quickly, outside the box. If he could have anyone travel with him who wasn’t his boyfriend, it would be Lindsay.

Lindsay started towards him, then pulled back.

“No, Geoff. I can’t.”

“Lindsay listen-“ Geoff went for her wrist but Lindsay jerked her hand back and he aborted the movement.

“I said no.”

“Why not? If you don’t want to stay here, you can help me. And once I get a helmet-“

-“You can finally control where you’re going.” Lindsay cut him off. “But you’ve spent God knows how long jumping from universe to universe, and you haven’t found one yet. At least, not one you’re willing to risk your life for. There’s one right here, just across the ocean, and you’re not going to go for it?”

“I would die, Lindsay. Prince James or even the Corpirate aren’t people you go up against alone. Not even the Lads and Gents together could do that on the first try. And we only get the one.”

“But you have experience,” Lindsay argued. “We could take the time to plan something out. We’ve got the invisibility suit, Gus, your connections in this city. I don’t understand it at all.”

“I have enough experience to know whatever plan we come up with isn’t going to be enough. Just listen for a second. The universes I’m passing through all seem to relate to different points in my history. There’s a point in time where my crew has a helmet. All I need to do is travel until I come across a universe that’s still got that point the same. It’s that simple.”

Lindsay twisted the scissors in her hand for a long second, the tip digging into her finger.

“And if you never come across one with the same point? It sounds just as risky to me. I’m not doing it, Geoff.”

It felt like all the energy sapped out of his legs and Geoff had to hold onto the table for support. To have that hope and lose it just as quickly took all the strength out of him.

“Lindsay, please, I can’t keep doing this by myself. I just can’t.”

Lindsay nodded to herself, then straightened up, ignoring Geoff’s pleading. There was a cool certainty to her movements.

“Leave if you have to, I can’t make you stay here and help me. I’m going to steal the tech that Prince has and find a universe where some Lads are in need of a Lindsay. And if they love me just the same- I can be okay with that. More than okay, I think. It’s a nice thought, now that I think about it.”

Lindsay slowly reached out for Geoff’s right hand, giving him time to pull away if he wanted. He didn’t. She picked it up and placed it over the device, where it rocked gently before settling back into place.

She spoke again.

“That’s what you said to me.” She frowned. “Why can’t you follow your own advice?”

Geoff sucked in a deep breath.

“My original Lads and Gents don’t get another Geoff. They’re missing me. It’s just me wandering around out here, away from where I’m supposed to be.”

“How would you know?”

Geoff remembered the vision Jeremy’s device had shown him, of the line of Geoffs making the same decisions he had, and his blood ran cold.

“I just- I have a feeling.”

Lindsay did not respond to that.

Geoff shifted his weight to his other foot, antsy to leave this universe.

“If you won’t come with me, I’ll say goodbye. And good luck. There are spare keys to all our cars in the carpark in the top shelf of the kitchen.”

Lindsay inclined her head. “Thank you. And back at you.”

Geoff disappeared into an infinite tangle of strings.

He was in a garbage dump.

Geoff sank to his knees, and knelt in a carpet of filth. His corpse stared back him from its slightly buried position in the rubbish heap. Around him, the corpses of his Fakes. Further out, more rubbish, and old car parts and smelly food and torn apart stuffed animals, bags and bags of it, enough to fill the dump to its limits. Nowadays the city preferred to export its waste, but occasionally people would sneak stuff in. Geoff could pick out locations where he’d dumped bodies here as well, years ago. He supposed it was ironic, in a way he couldn’t be bothered to think about too much right now.

He must’ve dislodged something when he moved because the pile next to him shifted, and Gavin’s hand slopped over and traced a rotten path down his shoulder. Geoff shrieked and twisted away, and that seemed to shred away the last of his calm and he quickly worked his way out of the tip like something was chasing him.

Dirty, disgusting place. Geoff cleaned a bit of filth out from under his fingernails. Some of it was probably his own dead body. The impact of the thought didn’t quite reach him. Too much of him was still trying to process.

He stole a parked car and sped towards the city, more recklessly than he would have under normal circumstances. There was a little you could get away with in the city, things the cops would overlook while they went after bigger fish. Minor traffic infringements, disorderly conduct, hell, if they were particularly busy it wasn’t uncommon to see people solving problems themselves with fists in the street, holding up traffic. But Geoff raced back to his apartment without a single thought to the cops or his wellbeing.

He knew the apartment would be empty. He knew there’d be a layer of dust, the smell of off food in the fridge, Jack’s plants on the roof long dead. But he thought there might be a chance Lindsay was there still, where he left her, and he’d get her to reconsider and they’d get through the rest of the universes together. He had another argument lined up and it wouldn’t matter if there wasn’t another universe with the same point-

She wasn’t there.

It still gutted him, even if he knew it was irrational.

But the whole goddamn thing was irrational from the beginning, from when he accidentally touched Jeremy’s device to now. He was supposed to be somewhere else doing one fucking thing and then go home, that was the plan. Shoot the spaceship out of the sky and that’d be the end of it. Why was he here? How many more universes of bullshit was he going to have to endure?

Why did he have to do them all by himself?

Every other task the alien technology threw at him, he at least had his crew with him. Zancudo. The Corpirate. Jeremy. He didn’t think it was possible to miss them this much, how physical it would feel in his chest. He needed them and he couldn’t do this by himself. He wasn’t enough. There was so much he didn’t know. There was no possible way he was expected to figure everything out on his lonesome.

It wasn’t fair.

Geoff could explore all the way to the far corners of the multiverse but he couldn’t go back to the only one that mattered. These other universes were awful. What was the point of going forward when it was only going to be worse? Shouldn’t there be universes out there where he’s happy with his crew, and everything worked out fine for them? If that wasn’t the case, surely it was only a matter of time before one of these universes was set up to kill him.

And if it was the case, why didn’t he get to pass through them?

One of the last things Lindsay said to him was also weighing on his mind. It was funny, how one sentence could get stuck in your head. There was a chance his Fakes didn’t even know he was gone, and some other Geoff had taken his place. One that shot down the alien spaceship as expected and got to go home to his Fakes.

The idea brought a hot flush of fury, of jealousy through his system and he was suddenly a lot more sympathetic to what Lindsay must’ve gone through. But he calmed down further when he thought it through. At least his Fakes would be happy. That was the main thing.

Ignorance is bliss.

Geoff put his bag down on the dining room table and approached an adjacent cabinet. It was filled with bottles, and he hadn’t opened it in over two years. But he pulled open one of the cabinet’s doors and leaned over to peer at the contents.

He stayed like that for a very long time.

Slowly, he shut the cabinet door, hands still empty.

He showered. Ate something non-perishable from the pantry. It was akin to eating ashes.

He entered his bedroom.

There was one of Jack’s jackets on the bed, where Jack had decided to forgo it just before the Zancudo heist. It still smelled like his floral cologne, had some of his hair on it. There was a pair of Ryan’s pants hanging over the back of a chair, because Jack promised to lengthen the pockets and he had more experience doing it and a steadier hand. Even the Lads made an appearance, on a printout from a security camera, a blurry photo of the three of them leaving a movie theatre. The only thing missing was something that reminded him of Jeremy.

Geoff felt an immense urge to run, to go find them, now, now, now, but he didn’t know where to go so it just felt like he was getting torn apart.

Now would be a good time to finally break down, take some time to decompress. He could feel the emotion build up in the back of his throat, like some mass made of sandpaper was trying to claw its way out of him.

It felt like there was an invisible force holding him back. He’d like to cry but he just… couldn’t. He stared at the clock on his bedside table, eyes forced open until they watered, but even that wasn’t enough to encourage tears to fall. There was nothing for it but forcing the feelings down, away for him to manage later, and the warmth of the bed did nothing to stop the icy coolness wrapping around him like a blanket.

Chapter Text

The universe reassembled around Geoff like the weaving of a quilt and all Geoff saw was blackness.

He was lying on something squishy and bony that gave away when he shifted a little. The smell was horrendous. Geoff rolled off whatever he was lying and came to an abrupt halt when his shoulder hit a hard surface, stopping his movement.

He probed it with a hand. It felt like wood covered in fabric. Pushing at it produced no results. Geoff pushed harder, then followed the ceiling around until it abruptly changed direction, coming down next to him only a few inches away. The same was true on the other side.

An absurd thought dangled in front of him that he wasn’t prepared to entertain.

He wasn’t-

His hand came up above him and then behind his head.

His hand met wiry hair and wet, mushy flesh. One finger scraped against what had to be bone, and caught in an eye socket. He jerked his hand away and at the same time banged his knee against the lid of what he was now sure was a coffin.

“Fuck. Shit. Fuck .”

He punched the ceiling above him as hard as he could. The wood cracked ominously and Geoff cursed again.

“Fucking- idiot! God!”

Buried alive.

How much oxygen did he have? Was the ceiling going to cave in on him now?

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

He needed to think.

He should have a few hours of oxygen in here, at least. Enough to wait out the recharge time of the hypercube. It was what, almost three hours? Surely there was enough oxygen if he stopped moving about and controlled his breathing. Surely.

The air around him was already heating up, and it was thick with moisture. Air was more than just oxygen. Whenever he breathed out, he would add more carbon dioxide to the mix. How long could he breathe that? Or was carbon dioxide heavier than air or something, would it move to one part of the coffin?

What about his own decomposing corpse he was swimming in? It must be filling the air with toxic shit, based on how it smelled. That couldn’t be good for him to breathe. Or maybe if he moved about more, he could push it away from his mouth somehow. Or pull his shirt over his face.

How the hell do gasses work?

Wait. Geoff was an idiot. He had a phone in his pocket. He could call his crew.

If the Geoff of this universe was buried in a coffin as opposed to dumped in a ditch somewhere, that probably meant one of the Fakes had given him a funeral. He’d call them.

He fished the phone from his pocket but he couldn’t bring it up to his face. The angle his backpack left him at made the space too narrow. He left it to his right and winced when the bright light blinded him.

No reception. Of course.

But there was a chance he could still call emergency services. He made the call with his thumb and while it tried to connect, he wondered if it was normal to consider emergency services second in a situation like this.

“This is Los Santos State Emergency Services. Please state your-“

Oh thank God. Geoff almost dropped the phone in his relief.

“I’m in a coffin, I don’t know where I am,” Geoff said as slowly and clearly as he could manage. “I’ve been buried and I can’t get out.”

“Sir, the most important thing you can do is stay calm,” the lady on the phone said. “I need you to be still and try to conserve your air, do you understand?”

“I do, yeah.”

“Okay, I need you to hold tight while we see if we can trace your phone. Just stay still and quiet for me, can you do that sir?”

“Yep, got it.”

Seconds ticked by. Sweat began to bead on Geoff’s forehead as the coffin heated up. The fabric and the clothes absorbed some of the moisture in the space but only served to trap the heat. He wanted to wipe the water away but he knew it was more important to stay still. Use up as little oxygen as possible.

More time passed, minutes. Geoff recalled Gavin set up and gave him the phone. Would emergency services be able to track it? Geoff didn’t know how all that worked. Something about pinging cell towers, maybe, but he really didn’t have a clue.

If he couldn’t be found, he’d die here either from lack of oxygen or from trying to crawl his way out.

It was for the best that Lindsay didn’t come with him, Geoff realised. Three people wouldn’t have fit inside the cramped space anyway. What if they broke through the coffin’s ceiling? It was hard enough with just him and… himself.

“Jesus Christ,” Geoff said, “I know exactly where I am. I’m in Geoff Ramsey’s grave. Hey, lady? You need to look up where Geoffrey Ramsey was buried. That’s where I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m lying on him. I can uh, recognise him.”

“Okay, we’re making the calls now. Please hold tight.”

During the wait, she took his details down. Geoff gave her a fake name but kept the rest of information accurate. She told him he’d have at least two hours of air, give or take, as long as he didn’t move or talk more than he needed to. Then the line was silent again.

Geoff waited as patiently as he could, every few minutes or so fighting back the urge to ask the lady on the phone how everything was progressing. He was going to be fine. He just needed to be more patient.

“Sir? We can’t find a record of someone with that name residing in any of the cemeteries in Los Santos.”

Fuck. Of course if a Fake buried him, they might’ve kept it off the books.

He still had options. Even if he couldn’t call his crew, emergency services could. They could ask where he was buried. The trick would be getting them to take the call seriously and actually give the right information up. It wasn’t likely they were going to believe he’d risen from the dead. More likely they’d believe it was a trick from another crew. That’s what Geoff would think, if he were on the other side of this situation.

“That’s fine, that’s fine,” Geoff told her. He flicked through his contact list. “He might be buried under a nickname or somewhere private. Write these names and numbers down.” He listed off first the Gent’s, and then the Lad’s phone numbers. He didn’t know who else was still alive, so it wouldn’t hurt to give the lot. If they all had to get new numbers after this, too bad. He wasn’t going to die over it. “And if they think it’s a prank call or something, don’t give them my name. It won’t help. Tell them I uh, know Ryan the Gnome. They’ll know what it means.”

“Calling down the list now.” The lady said with no hesitation.

His phone told him he’d been buried for half an hour. He was swimming in sweat, but at least he’d gotten used to the smell. The hypercube had begun to glow softly again, providing some comforting light. Geoff kept his breathing shallow and even.

Eight minutes later, the lady spoke again.

“We’ve got a location from a Mr Free. He said you’d be in a grave marked Geoff Fink in Vinewood Cemetery.”

“Yes! Yes, that’d be it.”

“We’re sending a rescue team to Vinewood Cemetery immediately. They’re about fifteen minutes away.”

“Thank God.”

The next twenty minutes were amongst the worst of his life. 

But at the end of them, the sound of heavy machinery.

“I can hear that!” Geoff shouted at his phone.

“That should be the excavator. It should only be another twenty minutes. Please keep still and quiet, and you’ll be out in no time.”

The beeping and creaking of the excavator slowly grew more audible. The coffin ceiling rattled, and Geoff braced his arms against it. The vibrations through the wood were getting stronger as minutes passed.

“They’re getting close,” Geoff said.

There was a scraping noise only a few inches above his head. Voices, shouting. Softer scraping.

Geoff pushed against the lid at the same time that it lifted away.

Bright, bright light and a warm hand, grasping his own.

Someone pulled him free and Geoff was led out of the dirt, and onto wet, muddy grass.

It smelled wonderful.

“Jesus Christ.” Geoff said to no one in particular. The cemetery was crawling with people- there were first responders and ambulances, and the gravedigger standing by with his excavator. There was also a fire truck and a group of firemen with shovels. A loud cheer went up as Geoff emerged, and several hands touched him all over- pulling him away from the grave and towards safety. It was a bit much after the hour of dark and stillness, with the only sounds to keep him company his breathing and the blood in his ears.

A medic approached him and began the process of checking him for injuries and shock. Geoff went along with it until they started pulling him towards an ambulance, but something else had caught Geoff’s eye.

A beat up purple motorbike pulled up outside the cemetery’s front fence. A lone rider rested his helmet on the seat and looked towards Geoff with a pair of highly reflective sunglasses.

Gavin took his sunglasses off and even at such a distance Geoff could make out the tears in his eyes.

“Gavin?” Geoff called out, and maneuvered away from the medic, as well as the small crowd of people waiting to hear if he was okay. Once Geoff had elbowed a few people out of the way the crowd figured out what was going on and parted.

“…Geoff?”

“Gavin?” Geoff called out back. A broad grin broke out across his face.

Gavin came to a sudden stop. Geoff stopped too, so they were standing a few feet away. Gavin looked like he wanted to step closer but he didn’t, his hands rising to feel the collar of his shirt and twist the fabric.

“You’re not a zombie, are you?” Gavin said, a bit of incredulity in his voice.

Geoff shook his head. “Not a zombie. But I’m not-”

Gavin crushed him with a hug. His hands couldn’t quite go all the way around Geoff, with the backpack in the way, but he held his arms tight and pressed his face into the crook of Geoff’s neck.

Geoff froze for a half second before sinking into the hug, his head coming to rest on top of Gavin’s.

There was quite a bit of noise from the crowd Geoff left behind, so after a few seconds Geoff gently eased Gavin off him.

“We need to talk. Can you take us back to the penthouse-”

Gavin pressed his face against Geoff’s and kissed him like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

Gavin tasted like home, like sweat and fast food and a little bit of motor oil. He also, strangely enough, smelled like flowers.

“Are you wearing Jack’s cologne?” Geoff asked as he forced himself to move away.

Gavin shuddered, halfway between a laugh and falling apart.

“Yeah,” Gavin said, sniffing. “Yeah I am. Reminds me of him.”

“He’s not-”

Gavin shook his head. “Just me left. Or it was. Are the others coming back with you?”

Geoff bit down on his tongue hard enough to hurt.

“Just me. But can we go to the penthouse and talk?”

Gavin squeezed his hand. “Whatever you want, love.”

It felt like years since Geoff had last been called that. It was difficult to remind himself he needed to keep a bit of distance- he wouldn’t be here long. Gavin needed to understand that, and the sooner he did the better.

“Listen, don’t-” Geoff didn’t know how to finish that sentence. “There’s a lot you don’t understand about why I’m here.”

“I don’t care,” Gavin said with confidence. “Whatever the cost, whatever the reason you’re here. I don’t care. I’ll pay that price.”

Geoff flinched. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

Gavin cast a glance at the approaching crowd of emergency responders.

“We shouldn’t go to the penthouse, but I’ve something almost as nice Downtown.” Gavin’s shoulder slid against Geoff’s. “Think we can outrun that lot?”

The fallout from calling emergency services was a headache Geoff refused to deal with. Plus, Geoff sure as shit didn’t have the funds to pay for it all.

“Don’t have much of a choice, do we?”

“You’re not-” Gavin swallowed heavily. “You won’t stay?”

Geoff’s heart broke a little. He sunk a little lower into Gavin’s couch.

“You wouldn’t ask me to leave my own Fakes behind, Gav. I couldn’t do that to them.”

“But, but…” Gavin trailed off.

Geoff had showered, repacked his bag, and explained everything he could to Gavin. The hypercube shone with a full glow, the superglue still holding steady. The only thing stopping him from leaving was a sad pair of hazel eyes.

“Can I come with you, then?” Gavin pleaded. “I’ve got all the same skills your Gavin had-”

“-Has.”

“Has, so I can help you!”

“That’s not the issue.” Geoff snapped at him, a little harder than he intended to. He willed his posture to relax.  “I don’t care if you’ve never seen a computer in your life. It’s not safe for either of us.”

“It’d be better than here.” Gavin muttered.

“You say that until there’s three bodies squished into the one grave and we’re running out of oxygen.” Geoff said.

“Isn’t it worth the risk?”

“Not to me!” Geoff replied. “Is there really nothing going for you in this universe that you’d risk killing us both?”

“I don’t know if I mentioned it, but our crew’s dead.” Gavin said, with a bit of heat before continuing more sedately. “Funhaus is the biggest crew in the city now.”

“Could you get a job with them?”

“Maybe,” Gavin admitted, “But I could use some help getting in contact with them.”

Gavin brightened.

“Could you stay until I do? Please, you owe me. I saved your life.”

Well, it was fair.

“Fine,” Geoff agreed after a lengthy pause, shutting his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb. “But only until we resolve this. A day at the most.”

Gavin lit up like a sunrise. A little of the infectious energy made its way over to Geoff’s side of the couch, and his expression softened.

It’d been a while since he’d seen Gavin, or any of his crew, look so unabashedly happy.

“You could use a break as well, couldn’t you?” Gavin asked. “I mean, you’ve been jumping around universes for weeks now. Spend the day with me.”

“I shouldn’t-”

-“For me? Come on,” Gavin’s grin was much cheekier than it was a moment before. “you owe me, remember? When was the last time you went down to the pier? They opened up a new ice creamery a few weeks ago.”

Geoff started to argue, but stopped himself. What harm would it do? He could afford a day to rest and be around someone he thoroughly missed. The contact would probably do them both some good.  And besides, it would be criminal to crush Gavin again so soon after telling him Geoff was leaving.

And Geoff was a criminal, of course. One of the best in Los Santos. But right now, that was the last thing he wanted.

“Fine.” Geoff said again, trying not to let the sweetness he was feeling convey across. “We’ll make a date of it tomorrow. I need the rest of today to sleep and eat something that hasn’t been sitting in a pantry for five months.”

And if Gavin was lit up before, that was nothing compared to now.

Most people liked Del Perro Pier in the evening, when the sky was pink with sunset and the lights from the rides really shone against the water. The buildings were silhouettes and the owner of the burger bar turned on the fairy lights she’d strung around the railings. There’d be open ocean ahead of you and the beauty of the city behind, if you were into that sort of thing. But that was also when it was the busiest, and Geoff had never been a fan of tourists.

It was convenient, then, that Gavin knew it too and they headed down there just before midday. Gavin knew of a hole-in-the-wall that made brunch and they visited there first, slowly warming up to each other.

“I’ve been on my own for eight months now,” Gavin told him in between bites of bruschetta, “kept the penthouse for about six months, but now I rent it out.”

Geoff swirled his fancy imported ginger beer with a straw, rattling the ice cubes. It was all right. “Have you spoken to anyone else since then? Burnie, Lindsay-”

Gavin frowned into his tomatoes. “They’re dead as well.”

Geoff took his hand away from his glass. “Do you mind if I ask what happened to everyone? I assume a rival crew was involved, but it wouldn’t be Funhaus if you were open to working with them.”

Gavin waved his hand dismissively. “Some other crew we were having problems with for a while. Surprised us. Just a dumb mistake, a really dumb one.”

Geoff waited for more, but Gavin stared steadily at his meal.

Geoff leaned forward.

“There probably wasn’t anything you could’ve done, Gav.”

“No, it’s fine, I know,” Gavin replied. “And anyhow, I got my revenge. Gave all their info, names, addresses, proof of illicit activities, all to the FIB. They don’t exist any more.”

“That’s good.”

“That was when, uh,” Gavin looked a mite uncomfortable, “Funhaus contacted me. Offered me a job.”

“And you what, turned them down?”

Gavin nodded sheepishly.

“They came to the penthouse, but I was in no state to accept an offer like that at the time. That’s the main reason I moved out.”

“They didn’t give you a phone number or anything just in case you changed your mind?”

“Nope. I’ve done a little bit of digging since then, but haven’t come up with anything solid. They’re pretty good at covering their digital tracks.”

“At least finding them isn’t gonna be a problem.” Geoff polished off the last of his eggs. “Back in my universe I dealt with Funhaus regularly. I know where a few of their more popular safehouses are.”

“And what,” Gavin said, “I should just rock up and ask them for a job?”

“Why not?” Geoff shrugged and stacked his cutlery on his plate. “If they were impressed with you before, they’ll be extra impressed if you find their hideouts.”

“Or they’ll shoot me on sight.”

“Or they might not. They’re not like that.”

“But it’s a fifty-fifty chance they might.” Gavin flashed him a devilish grin.

“That’s not- I swear to God, Gavin.” Geoff darted his hand out, quick as a snake, and stole the last piece of Gavin’s bruschetta.

“Oi!”

“So the plan’ll be,” Geoff paused mid mouthful. “I don’t have one yet. Didn’t you say there was an ice cream place around here?”

“Yeah, a couple of blocks away. I’ll grab the bill.”

Gavin pulled a credit card out of his pocket and Geoff squinted at it.

“That’s not… is that my credit card?”

Gavin smirked and spun it between his fingers. “Bruschetta’s a good distraction, love.”

They got ice cream from the new shop right on the edge of the pier.

“I could always do the thing Ryan did,” Geoff said, “stand behind you and look menacing.”

Gavin laughed. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked menacing a single day in your entire life.”

“I can do menacing!”

“You can do a mean tired, or grumpy, but that’s why you worked with people like Ryan. Fearsome sometimes, yeah of course, but it’d always been hard for me to think of you as intimidating since I literally ran into you at the bank.”

“Were you enemies with the Gents from the get go?”

“Nah, the bank collapsed on us. Fast friends, and then some. That wasn’t the case for you?”

“It took us a little longer to get there, but we did.” Geoff said simply.

They walked down the length of the pier, passing a few other people sightseeing but not many. It wasn’t quite lunch time and the place was mostly quiet, with the only sounds coming from the ocean. Occasionally Geoff saw a wave lap against a support post in between the slats, but the spray was never enough to come up through them.

“I didn’t keep it.” Gavin said unprompted.

“Didn’t keep what?”

“His mask, Ryan’s. I buried it with him. Kind of regretting it now.” Gavin admitted.

“Where did you bury him?”

Gavin’s head whipped around to face Geoff’s.

“We are not digging him up for it, Geoff!”

Geoff couldn’t help the small snort of laughter that escaped him.

“That wasn’t what I was gonna say! I was just curious.”

“He was next to you. Jack on your other side, Michael and Jeremy next to him.”

A cloud raced past overhead, briefly darkening the pier.

“I’m sorry if I’m coming across so callous about them.” Geoff said. “It’s not that I don’t care, I’m just… expecting it, most universes. I’m ready for it. Used to it, even.”

“If there’s really that many other universes out there,” Gavin said, “with us in them, there have to be a bunch of good ones out there.”

Geoff licked his hand where the ice cream dripped on it. “An infinite number of them, to be precise.”

Gavin’s arm bumped against his. “So if there’s good and bad universes out there, there’s a fifty-fifty chance of it being one or the other, innit.”

Geoff bumped him back, much harder. Gavin stumbled and laughed.

“I’m really thinking it isn’t up to chance at all, at this point.” Geoff said. “There has to be a point to all this. Some sort of logic or pattern to it. Maybe I’m heading to the universe I’m meant to be, and I just need to be more patient.”

“But that doesn’t feel right to you,” Gavin repeated what Geoff told him earlier.

“It doesn’t.”

“What about that thing that’s following you? Maybe that disrupted whatever you were meant to do.”

“Maybe it’s in control of this thing,” Geoff held out the hypercube, “and it’s leading me to some awful fate it has planned.”

“Not the brightest plan. It sounds like half the people in your other universes could’ve done that without too much trouble.”

“Ended me right then and there? Yeah.” Geoff licked his ice cream and spoke out towards the ocean, projecting his voice. “Kill me yourself, coward.”

Gavin scraped at the bottom of his container with the little wooden spoon. “I don’t care how you talk about them, really. Just that you do. It’s so nice to do it with someone who knew them well. I missed…” Gavin trailed off.

“The familiarity.” Geoff supplied. “The trust. Being around others who know you and you can relax completely around.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

Geoff finished his cone. “Yeah. I miss them too. Oh!”

“What?”

“That reminded me. My Ryan pretty much stopped wearing his mask in the last few months I saw him. He switched it with some elaborate black and white face paint. If you want, I could teach you how to paint the design?”

Gavin grinned, and the only thing brighter was the sun’s reflections glittering on the waves. 

“There’s nothing I want more. We’ll pick some paint up on the way home.”

He took their rubbish and threw it in a bin, almost skipping as he went.

“How about, instead of pulling a Ryan, you pull a Ray?”

“How so?”

“You can snipe from afar and protect me if Funhaus does end up trying to shoot me.”

“I don’t have a sniper rifle, do you?”

“No, but I thought-”

-”You saw what I had on me when we left the graveyard and I wasn’t carrying a sniper rifle.”

“I don’t know! Maybe you can just point a laser pointer instead. That, I’ve got. Have the same effect.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Geoff said.

“But do you think Funhaus would suspect it?”

“You know what, we’ll keep that idea as plan B.” Geoff said. “How about this. We sweeten the deal for them somehow. Who’s their biggest problem right now? It’s not Colmillo Blanco, is it?”

Gavin winced slightly. “Nope, definitely not them. I made sure of it.”

“Ah.”

“But you know,” Gavin said, “I don’t think I want to spend the only day I have with you worrying about Funhaus. Is there any reason why I can’t pop over tomorrow and do it all then?”

“I don’t... think so?”

“Then that’s Tomorrow Gavin’s problem.”

Something parked by the side of the pier caught Gavin's eye. It was a sleek, city-wheeled motorbike, pulled up close against another. The owners of the bikes, members of the local biker gang, were enjoying ice cream cones a fair distance along the beach, eyeing the jet skis.

“I have an idea,” Gavin told him, eyes glinting. He jerked his head towards the bikes. “A quick jaunt around the city. What do you say?”

“Why?” Geoff asked.

“Because I want to. When was the last time you did anything fun on this island?”

“Gavin, wait!”-

But Gavin was already gone, sauntering down the pier towards the bikes. He had the purple one hotwired before Geoff even made it over to him.

Gavin tossed a helmet to Geoff and he caught it deftly.

“What about the car?” Geoff asked, thinking of Michael's sports car waiting for them on a side road.

“It'll be there when we get back,” Gavin said. “Or it won't. I hear there's a lot of crime in the area recently. But I have six times the number of cars I'll ever need. Well, five times. Don't ever tell the Ryan in your universe what I did to his Zentorno. Catch me!”

Gavin roared the engine and tore off, a long skidmark detailing his escape. Geoff shouted a curse after him and took off a little slower and with a little more caution.

The bikers, now furious and sprinting towards them, were left behind in the dust and sand.

Gavin was already two blocks ahead of him, weaving in and out of traffic. Geoff accelerated slightly, trying to keep him in sight. 

“Gavin!” Geoff called out, knowing full well Gavin couldn't hear him.

Gavin swung wide out through an intersection and then took a sudden left turn, cutting across two lanes heading the other way. A truck screeched to a stop and blared his horn. Traffic paused for a brief moment and Geoff decelerated and took the corner a little more sedately. Gavin lost a little ground swerving around a group of jaywalkers and Geoff took the opportunity to catch up, speeding towards him recklessly.

Because oh. His suit jacket wasn't designed to keep out the cold or the wind, and it whipped at him something fierce, but there was a dirty grin plastered on his face. The speed, the thrill of the chase, the chance of death creeping ever higher with each bold manoeuvre, It all brought Geoff to the conclusion that caution was for other people.

Some of the drivers stuck in traffic were really laying into their horns now, a cacophony of annoyance as Geoff swerved past it all.

Gavin slowed down briefly to check how far away Geoff was, but he needn't have bothered. Geoff shot past him like the cops were on his tail, and if they didn't leave the congested city blocks soon that would definitely be the case. Geoff had broken more traffic laws in the last five minutes than he had in the previous month. There was the brief sound of Gavin's cry of shock but then the roar of the bike ate it up.

Geoff took his hand off the accelerator to point towards the Vinewood sign. There. Out of the city.

Geoff didn't spare the time to see if Gavin caught the gesture, he sped off down the next right turn that took him up into the suburbs. There was less traffic here but the roads were crowded with parked cars, and one threatened to pull out in front of you at any time. Once there was a particularly sharp turn and then Geoff caught sight of Gavin only a few seconds behind, flipping him off. Geoff returned the gesture.

They rode together, neck and neck, at a more leisurely pace through the quieter and hilly segments of Los Santos. Gavin pointed out a house at one point, seemingly at random, and it was a good few seconds before Geoff remembered it was where Ryan blew up Gavin's bike. It felt like a lifetime ago. There was still a soot stain on the balcony's ceiling.

It was surprising to Geoff, to see that had still happened in this universe where neither crew made it to Zancudo. Gavin told him the two crews arrived at the same time under the bridge to park their cars, and a scuffle had broken out. Attracting attention from Zancudo, they escaped together and fell into a friendship and later a relationship. As far as Gavin was aware, the device was still down there.

A gentle curve came up ahead that poked through the trees and gave a clear view of the city they'd left behind. Since Geoff’d set out without a clear destination in mind, this was a good a place as any to pull over and take a break.

They left their motorcycles by the side of the road. There was little traffic this high up- no fear of being disturbed. A metal guard rail protected the road from the steep slope down the hill to the trees and it was to this Geoff and Gavin headed towards.

The city. Geoff had travelled quite extensively when he was younger, before he met Jack and started the Gents. There wasn’t anywhere else like it, with the decadence and fast and loose rules running together hand in hand. The criminals were a different breed, the gangs a different species altogether. There was no other place he’d rather call home.

And yet… this city wasn’t it. There was Arcadius, he could make out against the glare. The skeleton of the Mile High Club skyscraper was taller than he’d ever seen it before, almost complete. The skyline was too different.

Even in his head, the description felt nit-picky. Geoff pushed the thought away.

“Gross,” Gavin said, pointing skywards. There was a mass of clouds sweeping in from the west, and they looked deep and dark enough to drench the city and the surrounding suburbs, including them.

“Do you think we can get home before it starts up?”

Gavin settled down on the guard rail, staring out over the city. He took his sunglasses off and tucked them in his front pocket. He smiled at Geoff.

“Just a little longer. Five minutes more.”

They didn’t, in fact, make it back before it started raining. They’d also stopped to buy face paint and that hadn’t helped, and they paid the price for it about three blocks away from Gavin’s apartment.

“My hair ,” Gavin complained, rummaging through his linen closet for a fresh towel. Once he found one he draped it over his face and walked blind to his living room.

Geoff retrieved a towel of his own and wiped the water off his face. “You’re gonna trip and fall on something.”

“Will not,” Gavin argued, “I know my way around here like the back of my- ah! ”

Gavin shrieked, jumping away from the tube of paint that had just hit his neck. Geoff laughed and palmed a second tube.

“Watch out dude, you’d better be careful.” Geoff said with a smirk.

“Oh, sod off.” Gavin sat down on his couch and dried himself off. He picked up the dropped tube of facepaint and threw it back to Geoff.

“Right. Teaching time.” Gavin said. “And if you paint a knob on my face without me knowing I’ll… be annoyed about it.”

“Noted.”

Geoff settled in next to him. They’d picked up a cheap paintbrush at the shop as well and Geoff coated it in white paint.

“This is gonna be cold.”

“I’ve worn face paint before, you mong.”

Geoff put a glob of white right between Gavin’s eyes. “Better stop talking, we wouldn’t want to mess the lines up.”

“Well you’d better start talking, because I don’t know what you’re painting.”

“It’s a skull,” Geoff said. Gavin snorted. “Yeah, I know. It’s not much improvement over the mask, but it’s something.”

“It’s gotta be better than what my Ryan picked up,” Gavin said. “Some hideous fur-lined coat. Didn’t wear a shirt under it. The most atrocious thing to happen to fashion since Jeremy.”

Geoff laughed and steadied the paintbrush against Gavin’s skin. “I find it hard to believe there was worse out there than Jeremy.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on you ,” Gavin said, “you were the worst of them all.”

“Me?! What did I do?”

“You got ‘milkshake’ tattooed under your nipples.”

“ No ,” Geoff gasped, but suddenly looked thoughtful.

“ Don’t you dare ,” Gavin said, but Geoff hushed him by painting a white line over his lips and down to his chin.

“Shhh… keep still. Mouth shut.” Geoff said. “And thank you for not having a beard. That helps immensely.”

“Hrrrngh.”

“Yep.”

Satisfied with the white that now looped over Gavin’s eyes and down the centre of his face, Geoff started on the black.

He held the paintbrush over Gavin’s nose and hesitated.

Was there… part of the design was on his nose, wasn’t it? He remembered there was a pair of dramatic eyebrows, and the whole thing had a sweeping black outline, but the details towards the middle… Geoff couldn’t remember. For the life of him he couldn’t recall any more detail.

But that didn’t make any sense. He must’ve seen the design a hundred times, and he’d even touched the pattern up himself when out working with Ryan. Ryan’s face swam in front of his vision; almond shaped face, crooked nose, sharp eyes, thin upper lip. A hundred moments accompanied them. Ryan, taking the paint off in the bathroom, laughing at something Jack said. Gavin smudging it on purpose, Jeremy applying it when Ryan fractured his thumb, Michael’s endless jokes.

Nothing made the paint’s design any clearer.

Geoff painted the eyebrows and the outline and then put the paintbrush down.

“That’s it,” Geoff said, “it’s done.”

Gavin pulled his phone out and inspected the design.

“Simple, but still terrifying.” Gavin said. He picked up the paintbrush. “Now I’d better check I’ve got the design down pat.”

Geoff lunged for the paintbrush but this time Gavin was faster.

Geoff took the paint tubes instead.

Gavin pouted.

“Absolutely not,” Geoff said. “You a hundred percent would draw a dick on my face.”

“It’s not certain I would,” Gavin argued. “There was a chance you could’ve ended up with some cool skull face paint.”

“And that chance was zero percent.”

“Nah, if I could or couldn’t’ve, that means it was a fifty-fifty chance.”

Geoff held his index finger and thumb about a centimetre apart, a smile on his face. “I am this close to hitting you.”

“Try it, old man,” Gavin flashed a grin at him, “I can take you.”

Geoff almost stood up to show Gavin he still had a trick or two up his sleeve. Almost, so close that he moved in his seat to stand. But he couldn’t. This wasn’t his Gavin. This wasn’t where Gavin was supposed to live, this wasn’t his city, and that wasn’t Ryan’s design on Gavin’s face. In an instant Geoff was desperate to get back to somewhere he recognised, where he wouldn’t feel like an intruder looking in on his own life.

“No, I…” Geoff trailed off. “I think It’s about time I moved on.”

“No please Geoff, don’t. Please.” Gavin pleaded, and it felt like the temperature in Gavin’s living room dropped to nothing. “Not yet, please.”

“I shouldn’t stay, Gavin. The longer I stay, the harder it’ll be to leave.”

“Then… one more walk. Please, just one more walk with you.” Gavin begged. “Look, the storm’s stopping. Let me clean this off my face and we’ll have a proper goodbye. Please?”

Geoff froze for half a second before relenting. “Okay, Gav. One last walk together.”

Of course they’d ended up back at the pier. The storm had just ended and the ground was still saturated. A light rain drifted down, keeping it that way, so the puddles were still prominent enough to pick up the dazzling array of colours coming from the sky. The dark blues from the spotty cloud coverage intermingled with all the yellows and oranges and reds until half the sky was pink and purple. Even as Geoff watched, the sharper and brighter colours highlighting the bottom of the clouds faded away into something a little cooler and more mellow as the Earth rotated away from the Sun.

It was a shame they hadn’t managed to get down here before the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Because who was Geoff fooling. The pier at sunset was his favourite, to hell with any people around. But the rain earlier had cleared most of them away, and if it wasn’t for the burger shop’s owner hanging her fairy lights out on the railings, they’d have the whole thing to themselves.

They stopped walking once they hit the end of the pier. Their hands fell apart and Geoff took a step back.

“Is this where we’re gonna have to say goodbye?” Gavin asked.

Geoff nodded.

But he couldn't. Not with Gavin looking at him like that, like he was the last good thing left in the world. He recognised it, having seen it on his own Gavin’s face. Geoff’s face crumpled, his brows creased together, lips turned down and scrunched up. There was very little Geoff had left to hold together, but he made a determined effort. No use falling apart here and now.

It wouldn't be fair to leave him here, looking so forlorn.

It wasn’t fair.

How could this Gavin really be any different from his own? Did it even matter if he were? After all, the Gavin Geoff will return to would be different. He'd have months worth of new memories. Forgotten some stuff, learned some new things. Most of the cells in his body would be different. All the atoms, except most of his brain. Everything else was eternally replaced. How different did that make him from the Gavin standing before Geoff, eyes wide and choking with tears? What right did he claim to say one Gavin was worth more happiness than another?

But what else could he do? Couldn’t take him with him, didn’t want to leave him here. But what other choice did he have?

“But I can’t just leave you here,” Geoff said, “I can’t. I just can’t. It’s not fair at all. When I sort everything out, as soon as I can, I’m coming back. I promise.”

Geoff fumbled at his right wrist for a few moments. He pulled his watch off and handed it to Gavin, who took it mutely.

“This is something my Fakes gave to me a couple of years back. It contains one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. Flip it over, would you.”

Gavin did, and revealed the text carved in neat calligraphy: Make Mistakes .

“I’ve made some pretty big ones, over the years.” Geoff continued. “But my crew forgave me. And if your crew was anything like mine…”

Gavin was crying in earnest now, so Geoff bundled him up in a hug. Breathed in his hair, his conditioner, Jack's cologne. He knew it was the last he'd experience of it for a while. Scratched at the back of Gavin's neck, engulfed him as much as he was able to. Gavin let him, and they rocked gently together for an indeterminate amount of time, swaying in time with the ocean's waves. 

But even Geoff could see the tide retreating.

“Time for you to move on, I think.” Gavin said eventually. It was little more than a whisper, and almost snatched away by the waves.

“I thought you’d be begging me to stay,” Geoff replied.

“Was going to,” Gavin sniffed, “I spent all day thinking about the perfect thing to say, to get you to. Even if it were just for another day. But... that's not what you need. I get it, I really do. So I'm not going to selfishly make that harder for you.”

“I appreciate it.” Geoff poked the watch in Gavin’s hand. “Keep it. Think of it as like insurance, in a way.”

“I’ll keep it until you come back.”

“Now I have to, don’t I?”

Together they shared a small laugh.

“How will you find me again?” Gavin asked.

Geoff looked out over the ocean, thinking.

“Back in my universe, there was a piece of alien tech that could track things, as long as they didn’t change too much. I think it had something to do with wavelengths, mass wavelengths or something. If I had the helmet, I bet I could get it to track… I don’t know. We’d need two of whatever it was. One for me and one for you.”

“I have an idea.” Gavin pulled a thin tube out of his pocket and took it apart.

“Laser pointer battery,” Gavin explained, and handed it over.

“I don’t get it.” Geoff said.

“I read this theory once online,” Gavin said, “about electrons. That they’re all actually the same one, just jumping around in time and space. You keep that battery, and we’ll both have that same electron on us. That should work, right?”

“If it’s true, I don’t see why not.”

Gavin slid the watch over his wrist and fastened it.

“You’ve given me so much these last two days,” Gavin said, “more than I ever thought I was ever going to get again. Even if it doesn’t work out, and you can’t come back. It was worth it just seeing you again. 

“Can I… ask for one more thing from you?”

Gavin leaned in, asking without words.

Geoff hesitated for a moment, then joined him in the middle.

The kiss was chaste and lasted all of two seconds. Just long enough to linger and for Geoff’s mouth to warm with Gavin’s breath, the air tickling through his short beard hair.

Gavin blinked away a couple more tears.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, you hear?”

Geoff nodded.

Gavin turned around and made his way back down the pier, taking care to avoid the worst of the puddles. He didn’t look back.

Geoff stared down at the hypercube, glowing bright on his wrist.

“This next universe better start with another grave,” Geoff told the device, “because if it doesn’t, and I left him here for no reason, I’m gonna figure out who’s making the calls and I’m gonna rip your heart out. See how you like it.”

It didn’t.

Chapter Text

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Oh just zip it, would you?” Geoff snapped back, climbing to his feet. He rifled through his pocket for the usb and tossed it over. “Hurry up and get this part over and done with.”

“You know what?” Alt-Geoff said, “Your raison d'être , that’s future Geoff’s problem.” Alt-Geoff tossed Geoff some heavy body armour. “In the interim, you can help. The Lads should be passing through here in a couple of minutes and we could use the help.”

“Uhhh… Geoff?” Ryan took his mask off so his low tones could be better distinguished. “Don’t you think we should postpone the ambush until we’ve dealt with this?” He pointed his pistol towards Geoff.

“No, no,” Geoff laid the heavy armour at his feet. “I’m just passing through. I’ll take a walk while you sort that out.” He pointed towards some cars that had just turned onto the stretch of road where the Gents were waiting. One was definitely Michael’s, he’d recognise it anywhere, even if it wasn’t close enough yet to read the custom number plate.

Geoff hefted his backpack over a shoulder and started off down a footpath, away from the ambush.

“Wait a sec,” Alt-Geoff started, but Jack cut him off.

“You need to make a call here, Geoff.”

Alt-Geoff grumbled, but relented, gesturing for Ryan to lower his pistol. “Let him go. We’ll take him back to the penthouse after this is all done and dusted and figure it all out.”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“That is the ugliest bike I’ve ever seen.” Geoff said.

Alt-Geoff, leader of the Christ Punchers, uncrossed his arms.

He giggled.

“I know, right?” Alt-Geoff said. He gave his three-wheeled monstrosity a pat. “Don’t tell the rest of the gang. They think I adore her. And they’re right, I do, but for a different reason than they think.”

Geoff pointed at Ryan’s bike, which was sleek and modern and glowed in the dark.

“You could’ve had one of these, whatever it is, but instead you…”

“It is, as always, in the message.”

“Like Christ Punchers.”

“Exactly. You wanna take her out for a spin?”

“Absolutely not.”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

Alt-Geoff was lying unconscious on a couch, his leg suspended on an armrest and wrapped in a bright pink cast. Someone had drawn a giant nose with "Loser" written underneath. There was also a dick covering the length of his foot. Geoff couldn't help but be impressed with that one, veins and hair and all.

There was a bottle of some kind of pill on the kitchen counter. Painkillers. Alt-Geoff would probably be out a while.

Geoff restocked his ammunition from the weapons room, picked up some more body armour, and stole $200 from Alt-Geoff's wallet.

“Do you have alien tech in this universe?” Geoff asked.

Alt-Geoff, eyes wide and hands raised ready to protect himself, gave a little shake of his head.

“Alien tech? Alien technology? No?”

Geoff clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Nevermind.”

Geoff flicked a USB at Ryan, who almost dropped his gun in his scramble to catch it.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Alien tech?” Geoff asked.

“What?”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Alien tech?” Geoff asked.

“What?”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

Geoff heaved a sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

More corpses. Just the Gents this time, and not a Lad in sight. Geoff considered his own corpse, a thought coming to him. He bent down and worked the shoes off Alt-Geoff's feet, kicking his own off and replacing them. Not like Alt-Geoff needed them any more. Geoff's were filthy and ragged. The new shoes fit like he'd won them for years.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

Los Santos burned.

Geoff stumbled through the rubble, Jeremy hot on his heels. A building halfway across the city collapsed and spread toxic dust through the streets, enough to force Geoff to pause and wait for the worst of it to pass. He held his shirt over his mouth and nose.

Surgical masks, for the next time something like this happened. He had to protect his lungs.

Sharp shafts of sunlight cut across the street where the buildings thinned out. There. It would be safer the further away he made it from the city centre.

He had just made it into the light when Jeremy caught up enough to grab his arm. His fingers passed harmlessly through the hypercube.

“Please,” Jeremy pleaded. “I’m the only one left. I couldn’t stop James. Help me make up for it. Please .”

It was a surprise that Jeremy, even with what had to be a fatal wound in his gut, could keep up for so long. Long enough for Geoff to no longer be afraid of him dying before Geoff could change universes. That wasn’t something he wanted to watch, even if it were just a stranger wearing a familiar face.

The hypercube cut a violet light through the haze, completely whole and visible behind Jeremy’s fingers.

“I can’t help you,” Geoff said in a flat voice, and pressed his hand over Jeremy’s.

The universe dissolved into nothing.

"Go fuck yourself," Michael slurred, drink in hand, in the darkness of his apartment. "Just hurry up and leave me here."

Geoff glanced at his wrist before quickly looking at the clock on the wall. The hypercube glowed bright and almost, almost full. "A few more seconds and I will."

Michael glared at him with unfocused eyes. "Really, I mean it. Go fuck yourself. You're not anything like the Geoff I knew."

"No, I'm not."

Geoff spun the hypercube and vanished.

Geoff picked up a permanent marker and gestured for Alt-Geoff to move away.

“Since I have a couple of minutes to fill,” Geoff circled some locations on the map, “you’ll find your Lads here, here, and here. Lindsay likes this coffee shop, so I’d set up an ambush here. You take one of them hostage, the rest’ll fall into place.”

“Wait,” Jack cut in, raising an eyebrow, “why not just take them all out at the ambush?”

“For one, you’re not gonna take them all out.” Geoff said. “They react faster than you, and no plan involving them ever lasts long.”

“Some is better than none.” Ryan argued.

“Not in this case,” Geoff twisted the pen around in his hands. “Not these guys. If you kill one of them, the others will burn the entire city down coming after you.”

“How do you know?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“I’ve seen them do it before to other Gents in other universes.” Geoff replied. “If they’re not focused on keeping each other safe, or having fun, there’s very little on this planet that will stop them.”

“But we have you now,” Alt-Geoff argued, “and you know them through and through. That should be enough.”

“Except it’s not .” Geoff barked. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? They care about each other as much as you do.” Geoff flicked the pen over the three Gents. “They’re as strong as you, as smart as you, and just as committed to each other. They’re a younger, more reckless version of you lot. Shame you have to fight instead of oh, let’s say, becoming allies? A real shame it’s far too late for that.”

The Gents looked at each other.

“...Is it?” Jack said. “Could we actually work together?”

“Guess that’s up to you to figure out.” Geoff replied, tossing the pen down without capping the lid. It left a jagged blue streak on the table. “In fifteen minutes I’m not gonna care what you do. Not my Lads, not my problem.”

“Just hold on a second, okay,” Alt-Geoff said, “You’re gonna leave without helping us, one way or another?”

Geoff scratched at his beard. It was getting longer, long enough to tangle his fingers through. “Yep.”

“What did you do in your universe?” Ryan asked. “Did you wipe them out, or did you befriend them?”

“A bit of both,” Geoff answered. “But you won’t get so lucky.”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Do you have alien tech in this universe?” Geoff asked.

“Uhhh… Used to?” Alt-Geoff replied. He had his hands raised like he was ready to protect himself, but lowered them after half a second. “Why?”

“What do you mean used to? ”

“We got rid of it, dude.” Alt-Geoff said. “That shit’s far more trouble than it’s worth. Destroyed everything but the laser cannon, which is now at the bottom of the ocean.”

“All the Corpirate’s stuff? Prince James? Zancudo?”

“Dust, the lot of it. Why?”

Geoff could have torn his hair out in frustration.

“Of all the stupid fucking things you could have done with it,” Geoff yelled at Alt-Geoff. He took a couple of steps towards Alt-Geoff to stand right in his face.

Alt-Geoff stood his ground, back straight and gaze level.

“Well hey,” Jack cut in, putting a hand against Geoff’s chest . “ We made the decision according to our circumstances, not yours. Cool it, would you?”

“Jesus, dude,” Michael said from across the room. His arms were folded and he stood a little in front of Gavin. He threw up one of his hands. “What crawled up your ass and died?”

“Michael,” Jack warned.

Michael rolled his eyes.

“What do you think he’s gonna do, Jack? It’s Geoff. A shittier, grumpier, homeless-looking Geoff, but he’s still Geoff.”

Jack lowered his hand away from Geoff. “It looks like he’s been through a lot.”

“And I’ve still got more to go since you assholes-”

-“ Geoff. ”

Geoff pulled a face at Jack but continued in a gentler tone.

“I’d appreciate a bed for the night before moving on, if you have one to spare.” Geoff said.

Alt-Geoff hmmmed but allowed it.

Geoff shot a pitiful look towards Jack.

“Come on, Geoff,” Jack pleaded towards Alt-Geoff, “look at him. It looks like he’s been through a lot. Let him stay the night.”

Alt-Geoff hmmmed but allowed it.

As soon as Geoff turned away, the expression fell off his face and an empty blankness replaced it.

The universe dissolved and resolved.

The universe dissolved and resolved.

The universe dissolved and-

-Wait.

Something was wrong.

Even though Geoff didn’t have nerves or skin, or even a proper consciousness in the space inbetween, he felt something different. He was only a bunch of strings, really, the vague impression of a consciousness holding it all together, with some entity tugging him through realities with a force that made his strings crawl.

This wasn’t that. This was something different.

The entirely new force grabbed ahold of him and shunted him sideways.

If Geoff had a mouth he would have cried out in shock. He stretched, twisting, strings tangling, while the familiar force jolted with the sudden change and pulled back.

The two forces changed directions, pushing and sliding, trying to wrest control from the other.

Tug of war.

It was agony. Geoff’s most fundamental pieces lost cohesion, wrapped and weaved and tied themselves into knots.

The strings were tearing-

The second force withdrew suddenly, and Geoff spun away from it at the speed of light, coaxed along by the original force. Some of his string’s tangles straightened out, relieving a good portion of the pain.

The world, at a glacial pace, wove itself back into being.

Geoff vomited up a mouthful of blood and keeled over.

He came to in a camping cot in a room he didn’t recognise. The air was hotter and drier than he was used to. Dust hung thickly around the room and he could taste it on his tongue.

He lurched to the side, ready to vomit again, and hands guided his head towards a waiting bucket.

“You’re okay,” Jack said. “You’re doing fine.”

“I don’t feel fine,” Geoff replied, grunting. It felt like someone had taken his intestines and forcibly rearranged them. Which probably wasn’t that far off the mark. Geoff should be thankful he was in any sort of working order at all, considering how messed up he’d been in the space between worlds.

Jack handed Geoff a glass of water and Geoff rinsed his mouth out. The water was warm too, like everything else in the room, but Geoff gulped it down like it was pure spring water.

“That’s understandable. But there was a lot less blood this time, so I think you’re on the mend.”

Jack looked younger. He didn’t have that tuft of white in his beard and he was pudgier. But his eyes, and that kind smile of his, they were the same.

“Is that normal?” Jack asked. “When you go to other universes. Does that happen every time?”

Geoff shot him a side eye, his breath catching in his throat. “You know about that?”

“We looked through your bag and found a USB that explained a lot of stuff.”

Geoff deflated and looked down at the floor, swallowing.

“No, it wasn’t normal.”

His fingers ached, and he flexed them to relieve the sensation. There was a feeling in his gut that not all was well, but he couldn’t put his finger on what.

“Where are we?”

“Blaine County, just south of the Alamo Sea.”

“Sandy Shores?”

“Yep. Geoff moved us up here five or six years ago. It’s great, very quiet.” Jack paused. “And the cops are easier to bribe.”

“So he’s still running the crew then? All the way up here?”

“Yep,” Jack answered. “Well, he’s taken a bit of a step back. We all have. The younger ones are doing a great job doing all our busy work.” Jack chuckled a little at that.

“I’m surprised the Lads have put up with that for so long.” Geoff said.

“What? Oh no, not the Lads. They came up with us. Lindsay too. I’m talking about Trevor, Alfredo, Matt, and-”

“Fiona?”

“Fiona. Wow,” Jack said, shaking his head, “I didn’t think our universes would end up being so similar. The chances of us knowing, and then working with the same people must be astronomically small.”

“That’s because it’s probably not chance at all.” Geoff said. “But this is the first universe I’ve come across where you’ve all moved out of the city. Our universes aren’t really that similar.”

“No, I’m aware,” Jack replied, making a sweeping gesture over Geoff.

Geoff raised a hand over his heart. “What’s that meant to mean? Is it because I’m older?”

“Not that, well, that too.” Jack clarified. “But I was talking about the beard and your tattoos.”

“I miss the moustache sometimes.” Geoff said. “Wait- my tattoos?” Geoff inspected the ones covering his arms. “What’s with my-”

At a glance, they looked as they always had. His right, with the rippling waves and swirling fish, his left the mosaic of important symbols and navigation tools. But now that he looked closer, it looked like someone had turned his arms into a sliding puzzle and jumbled all the squares up. Tattoos cut off and reappeared elsewhere in perfect squares. Some patches of skin were now completely blank. Faint bruises marked the edges of each change.

“W-what?” Geoff stuttered. He pulled the bottom of his shirt up.

The glitched tattoos continued down his chest, even beyond his navel. There was a spot over one of his ribs covered in hair about two inches long.

“Hair…?”

It was soft, like the hair on his head. There were a couple of white specks that looked like dandruff.

Geoff ran his hands through his hair and froze when he found a bald spot, about the size of a coin and towards the back of his skull.

His fingers, too, each had a ring of bruising around each digit just above the knuckle. The tattoos on the first segments looked whole, but they were swapped. The tattoos that should be on his left hand were on his right.

The fingers on his left hand didn’t look right. They were bent slightly in the wrong direction. They didn’t feel comfortable curled against his palm. His thumb felt normal, but the fingers did not.

Surely… no. Not the whole finger ? All of them, on both of his hands?

“What the fuck happened to me?”

He flexed his fingers again and again, feeling the pull and stretch. Was that how they felt before, or were his fingers really swapped around?

“Geoff?” Jack said, bringing Geoff’s attention back to him. “What happened?”

“There’s a space in between universes,” Geoff said, “Someone tried to… pull me out of it. I almost got torn apart, as a result. This has gotta be a by-product.”

"That might explain all the blood. What happened to your tattoos could’ve happened inside you as well."

"They tried to put me back together and they almost got it right."

"Who did?"

"I don't know. Well, not for sure. All I have to go on are some ominous warnings from Jeremy and the Corpirate. Maybe something Ray saw..."

Looking at his hands reminded him of Ray. During Zancudo, after Arcadius, the sniper had been seriously rattled. Enough to prevent him from using his sniper rifle with any accuracy. Ray said it was phantom pains, and he got them from time to time in the weeks afterwards. The sight of his twitching hands always hit Geoff with a deep feeling of guilt in his gut. Not as much as Michael, who used to get nightmares about snapped bones and shattered fingernails. It had been a year since the last occurence of that though. 

Well, that plus however long Geoff had spent wandering around the multiverse. At least three months. Long enough to develop some serious scruff, since he couldn't really be bothered shaving any more.

Geoff flexed his fingers again. No, this wasn't damage that could be undone by dying and resetting. But maybe changing universes could fix it?

"What did Ray see?" Jack asked.

Geoff tucked his hands into his pockets. "Eh, he had a glimpse down the interdimensional rabbit hole a few years back. Not important right now. Do you know where my stuff is?"

Jack pointed with his thumb to the door behind him. "Yeah, Gavin's rooting around your phone in the living room."

"How did he-" Geoff paused. "Alt-Geoff?"

"Nope, it took him two goes to guess the password."

Geoff sighed. “He set the damn thing, figures he’d guess it in under five seconds. Better change it, then.”

“Why?” Jack asked. “It’s just Gavin.”

“He might be harmless in this universe but that’s not true for all of them.”

Jack shook his head. “I can’t imagine Gavin ever being an enemy. Doesn’t sound like him at all.”

“I have to say, I’m pretty envious of you right now.”

Geoff heaved himself off the cot and stood on shaky legs. Jack steadied him for a moment before Geoff brushed him away, grumbling to himself.

“You want to take it easy there, Geoff?” Jack said. “You’re pretty banged up, and we’re not sure exactly how badly yet.”

“Nope.” Geoff replied. “I need my stuff, and then I need to see if going to the next universe will fix this.”

Jack’s face fell. “If you’re sure about it.”

“As sure as I am about any of this.” Geoff took a few wobbly steps towards the door. “But I’ve lingered in this universe too long anyway. Places to be.”

Travelling to the next universe did not fix Geoff, but at least it didn’t make it any worse.

“You have some minor abrasions in your throat, but they seem to be clotting well enough.” Kerry said. “That will fix itself in the next few days if you stick to liquids. And you’ve stopped vomiting blood?”

“Nothing in the last few hours.” Geoff replied.

“Then your digestive tract is probably fine. I don’t have any equipment on hand to check, so if it starts up again, you’ll have to go to a hospital.”

“Will do, doc.” Geoff said, lying.

“One day I’d like to hear you say that and mean it.”

“We all have dreams, Doctor Shawcross.” Geoff rifled through Kerry’s cupboards. “Hey, do you have any surgical masks laying around?”

“Yeah, that cupboard,” Kerry pointed to the other side of the room. “Why do you need one?”

“Just in case.” Geoff stuffed a handful into his backpack.

Apart from some minor internal damage, Geoff was fine. He’d had worse. He and Kerry had checked over almost every available inch of Geoff’s skin (except for a few select areas) looking for more ‘glitches’. Geoff missed the last two toes on his right foot getting switched around in his initial once over, but Kerry didn’t. He also confirmed his fingers were definitely switched, and Geoff wasn’t sure how felt about that. Violated, definitely. It didn’t feel like they were his own anymore. They were coated in someone else’s touch.

At least he still had full control over them. It would probably take some time for them to feel normal again, but he’d get used to it. Plus he really should be thankful that nothing too important got switched around, like anything on his face. Or between his legs.

“Holy shit,” Kerry said quietly, taking a moment for himself. “Alien tech, other universes, and a bonafide Geoff clone… Today is crazier than the day I lost my medical license… Hey, where’s the Geoff from my universe? Does he know you’re here?”

“Yeah, he’s just busy helping Burnie with something.” Geoff said casually. He flexed his fingers a couple more times.

“While you’re here,” Kerry said, “we really should check if you’ve got full mobility in your fingers. If there’s something wrong I’ve got some of those grip strength thingies around-”

-“Yeah, might skip that, thanks.” Geoff cut him off. “But there is something I need to check. Where’s the nearest gun range from here?”

A quick payment to the range owner to stay open late and turn a blind eye, and Geoff was ready to go. He set up a round target, put on his safety equipment, and began.

It was relaxing, in a way, to go through these familiar motions. Especially with no-one else around. A guy gets tired of answering the same pestering questions again and again.

He thought of Jeremy, in those first few hours of meeting him, and it hurt, so he pushed the thought away.

Six shots hit the target in the lower left, neatly bunched.

That was fine for a first try. He just needed to adjust his aim a bit. The consistent grouping was promising, because it meant Geoff was doing the same thing wrong each time, which was an easier fix. Geoff placed the used target on a table nearby and set up the next one. 

He rolled his shoulders, reloaded, and aimed again.

Four in the lower left, one a little higher, and his last shot missed altogether.

“Fuck.”

He had to warm up, that was all. Get his eye in. It’d been a few weeks since he last picked up his Glock, this was to be expected.

But it felt wrong, like he was shooting right handed or if he were holding the gun upside down.

Focus.

The next time he aimed down his sights he couldn’t steady his grip. He held the grip so tightly his arms shook with the force of it, like if he pressed hard enough the finger bumps in the grip would reform into a shape that felt familiar.

Six more shots, this time only three of them hit the target.

Geoff unloaded the Glock and put it down. He retreated from the firing line and sat down against a wall. 

Great. He was ruined now, didn’t have a crew, didn’t have a home, couldn’t even shoot his fucking gun -

Geoff took the earmuffs off and pegged them across the room, but that didn’t help, he couldn’t even do that properly, because they clattered into a corner instead of against a safety poster up on the wall where he aimed.

The glasses followed shortly after, and they hit the poster.

Finally, something he could do right. 

It wasn’t as rewarding as Geoff hoped it would be.

Geoff leaned his head back against the wall. His chest heaved with the sudden exertion, and he really hoped that was all it was. There was a burning sensation at his throat and prickling behind his eyes, but he ignored them both.

The floor smelled terrible. Smokey, for the most part, but also sweaty. Tiny pockmarks of darker stained floor peppered the length of the firing line, where hot expended shells would have contacted the surface. There were even three such shells inside Geoff’s line of sight, rolled into inconvenient crevices, discarded by lazy shooters. Dark scuff marks lined the lower portions of the walls that divided shooters, where either careless shoes would have brushed past accidentally or kicked out against it in frustration. A stain of oil smeared against the wall next to him, and Geoff shifted away from it.

Who kept their firing range in such shitty shape? Geoff shouldn’t have bribed them with half as much.

Sighing, Geoff retrieved the safety items and shuffled back to the firing line.

He could have a breakdown later. Right now, he needed to re-learn how to defend himself.

His muscle memory wasn’t helping him anymore, but his decades of experience would be far more useful. Really, it was his muscle memory screwing him over. Once he changed some habits, maybe bought a new grip, he would improve.

“Okay, back to basics,” Geoff said to himself, donning the safety equipment once more. “Grip like this, feet like this… remember to breathe…”

One shot missed completely, but the other five nestled neatly together in a tight circle in the middle left.

It wasn’t much, but it was an improvement.

Geoff exchanged the target for a fresh one.

Chapter Text

Geoff picked up his diet coke and drained the last of it.

“It sucks, though,” Geoff said to himself, “have you ever had to learn a skill all the way from scratch again? Sucks dick.”

“Not from scratch,” Alt-Geoff replied. “But has it ever taken me months to recover from some injury though? Yeah. It’s not fun. But you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“I do,” Geoff replied, “every goddamn day. I ask every Geoff I see if they have alien technology.”

“I wish I did, Geoff,” Alt-Geoff said, “I wish I did. Not just to help you out, even. Do you know how much easier my life would be if I had metal like you mentioned? I wouldn’t need to fix half my shit half as often.”

Alt-Geoff ran a specialty chicken farm and a small shop on the side. They sat at the front counter of said shop, Geoff’s Farming and Mercantile , exchanging stories and looking out over the western ocean. To their north, across the river, Zancudo. The mountains here were steep, but with enough plateaus to support a chicken farm. Visible to the east was Jack’s vineyard further down the mountainside, where it was more protected from the heat at the height of the day.

Alt-Geoff poured himself another finger of whiskey. They were long out of ice, but Alt-Geoff didn’t appear to mind.

“You seem to be holding up okay,” Alt-Geoff said. “If I was suddenly thrust into a bunch of different universes, I’d just pick one and refuse to move on and that’d be that.”

“It’s crossed my mind,” Geoff replied, “but I’m not ready to give up yet. I just need one piece of tech.”

“True, but…” Alt-Geoff shook his head. “It’s a long time to be by yourself.”

Geoff flicked a leaf off the counter. “Literally. I am literally right by myself. And yeah. It is.”

There was silence for a minute or so.

“I don’t-” Geoff stopped to rub his nose- “I am holding up okay. Because every time I think I’m not gonna be, I fight it back. I don’t have a choice. A lot of awful universes around. I can’t afford...” Geoff made a hand wavy motion, not finishing his thought.

Alt-Geoff clicked his tongue.”That ain’t healthy. But surely there are some good universes floating around out there?”

“Sometimes,” Geoff admitted. “But they’re not that great without my crew. In my universe, we’re family.”

“And the people out there aren’t close enough?”

“There’s just as many tragic universes out there as there are good,” Geoff explained. “I can’t… think of them like that. I shouldn’t.”

“Cause it’d hurt?”

“It used to.” Geoff said. “Nowadays I don’t really feel much at all. Panicked, often, but it’s tiring. I’m tired more often than not. I wake up tired, even.”

Alt-Geoff hmmmed in acknowledgement, looking down into his glass.

“Ya know,” Alt-Geoff said, suddenly bright, “Jack will be starting his first harvest in a week or so. We’re all gonna go over and help out. If you end up sticking around that long, do you wanna join us?”

“I dunno how to harvest grapes, man. I’m a city kid.”

“It’s easy. You put the grapes in the basket.”

“Mmm. I’ll mull it over.”

“You’ll get free wine out of it.” Ryan said.

Geoff and Alt-Geoff jumped in their seats. Geoff’s hand strayed for his gun but he relaxed when Alt-Geoff did.

“Christ alive, Ryan.” Alt-Geoff cursed. He reached for a cloth to clean up his spilled whiskey. “How long have you been here?”

“Bout five minutes, seeing how long it would take y’all to notice.”

Ryan sat astride a large black and white horse, who pawed quietly at the dirt. He dismounted and gave the horse a pat along its muzzle. “You say you came from another universe? And that’s why your tats are all hodge podge?”

“Pretty much.”

“Fair, fair.”

Alt-Geoff leaned over the counter. “That’s Ryan. He does animal husbandry further west. Not much’ll make him blink, except maybe Gavin.”

“I know, I’ve got one back in my universe. No animals, though.”

Ryan tied the horse to a post and sat down next to Geoff. Alt-Geoff passed him a glass and poured some whiskey into it, to which Ryan nodded his thanks and took a polite sip. A battle raged across his face as he fought to keep his disgust from showing. Geoff was well familiar with it. No Ryan he had ever met enjoyed cheap whiskey.

“Why’re you up this way, Ryan?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“I need to buy a chicken.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place.” Alt-Geoff responded cheerfully. “What kind of chicken did you have in mind?”

“Those glowing ones grow up yet?”

“Yep, just last month they started laying.”

“Fantastic.”

“Wait- hold on, please.” Geoff said. “ Glowing chickens?”

Alt-Geoff nodded. “I did say I ran a specialty chicken farm.”

“I thought that meant albino ones, or those ones that are black the whole way through.”

“Well I do have a pair of those,” Alt-Geoff explained, “melanistic, but they’re fairly basic as far as breeding goes. I’ve got chickens that make all kinds of shit. Glowing eggs, electricity, glass eggs… plus a few others that can do even more.”

“Jesus Christ. You got one that prints money?”

“Not yet,” Ryan cut in. “But you were working on one that lays golden eggs, weren’t you?”

Alt-Geoff chuckled. “I’m still a fair way off perfecting that one. Come on, do you wanna check em out?”

Geoff blew out a long wolf whistle. “That’s not something you see every day.”

“It is if you grow chickens for a living.” Alt-Geoff replied. A bright green chicken jumped into his lap and he gave its neck a good scritch. “What was it you did again? Rob banks?”

“Sometimes, but that’s not very profitable anymore. Nowadays it’s a lot of extortion, blackmail, and bribery. And wiping out enemies. The number of hours we spend hunting down enemies… staggering.”

Although that could be a whole lot less if the deals held up with Funhaus and the like. Far from the first time, Geoff hoped everything was holding together without him in the universe he cared about the most.

“Yeesh.” Alt-Geoff said. “I don’t envy you.”

“I make it sound more boring than it actually is. Usually there’s a lot of fire involved.” A pellucid chicken approached him, almost entirely invisible except for a faint outline, and Geoff slowly stuck his hand out. The chicken pecked at it, expecting food, and wandered off. “Heh heh. Ghost chicken.”

“You must be rolling in it,” Ryan probed. He delicately stroked the tail feathers of a blood-red chicken while it sniffed around his shoes. A red powder rained down from the contact and Ryan wiped his fingers on his jeans.

“I own a nice apartment.” Geoff replied. “Well, Jack technically does. Most of my money goes to paying the crew. Well, it goes to Lindsay, who then pays the crew. And anything left over we need for vehicle repairs, medical expenses, ammunition and the like-”

“So you’re not rolling in it?”

“Oh no, I am,” Geoff assured him, “I must be one of the richest guys in Los Santos. Just in assets. Boats, planes, cars, and so on. But money?” Geoff rocked his hand back and forth in an “eh” motion. “We steal what we want.”

“Dunno if I could do that,” Alt-Geoff said. “That sort of fast and furious lifestyle. Aren’t you worried someone will go to prison or get killed?”

Geoff shrugged his shoulders. As he did, a light blue chicken ran over and settled down in his lap. It felt like somebody dropped a block of ice on him.

“Certain events surrounding the alien technology made us very good at what we do,” Geoff said quietly. “The best. But it’s true not many people in my industry get to grow old. I don’t think I’d mind retiring, though, if it was to somewhere like this.”

“Of course you’d like this,” Alt-Geoff swept a hand over all the chickens. “I like this!”

“It doesn’t sound like the sort of industry where you think much about retirement.” Ryan said.

“No.” Geoff’s fingers were numb from where they absentmindedly stroked the icy chicken. Or maybe that was just his fingers. He was still getting used to them. “But maybe I should.”

“I’ve got a retirement plan all worked out,” Alt-Geoff said. He stood up and gestured for the two of them to follow him.

He led them to the back of the large chicken coop where a smaller area was fenced off.

“Here’s where I try to breed certain combinations of chicken,” Alt-Geoff explained. “Sometimes it works and I get an exciting new breed, sometimes I get abominations that I have to put down. But check out that one over there.”

Alt-Geoff pointed to a light grey chick fluffing its feathers in a corner. As the light caught the feathers, they shone with a silvery candor.

“Her name is Platty.” Alt-Geoff said, beaming with pride.

“Platty,” Ryan mused, “Platinum?”

“Got it in one. When she’s older we’ll see if she can lay.”

“And that’ll be platinum eggs then?”

“Hopefully.”

Geoff let out another whistle. “You’re gonna be the richest man alive.”

It was Alt-Geoff’s turn to shrug. “More money, more problems. Just enough for me and my friends to retire comfortably with.” Alt-Geoff elbowed Ryan. “My passion is making chickens, not optimising them into machines. But I have a few interested parties looking to buy that I might sell to.”

Ryan nodded with appreciation at Platty. “Oh yeah? Who were you thinking?”

“I had an investor from Humane Labs come by last week, they looked promising. I even had a Corpirate goon come round and try to strike a deal. Said the Corpirate had a huge research department he kept hush-hush and had bold ideas for my work.”

“I hear he’s a crook,” Ryan said, “But I would like to settle down somewhere with less maintenance. A smaller farm I can work on with the Lads. Did you know Michael and Gavin bought another few acres down south? They’re expanding the brewery again.”

“Yep.” Alt-Geoff said. “They finally hired Jeremy on full time. Took them long enough.”

Geoff stood up ramrod straight.

“I’m the dumbest human being alive.” Geoff said with frantic energy that came from nowhere. He felt sweat bead on his forehead, his heart pound in his chest. His eyes darted around as he thought.

“What?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Why?” Ryan asked.

“Your Corpirate has alien technology,” Geoff was almost babbling, the words pouring out of him faster than he could think. “That’s what he’s researching. And you’re here farming chickens. You’re just a dumb civilian.”

“Hey, now,” Alt-Geoff cautioned. “Kind of rude.”

“Geoff was in the military, you know,” Ryan added.

“I spent so long trying to figure out if I had the support to take him out,” Geoff continued, “storm his tower, take his shit. Ways I could manipulate my own crew into doing it for me. But I don’t need to do that with this Corpirate.” 

Geoff spun around to face Alt-Geoff and Ryan. “ Why didn’t I try striking a deal with him?”

“He is a businessman,” Ryan said. “But what do you have to offer him in return?”

“Information.” Geoff replied instantly. “I know more about alien tech than anybody else on this Earth. Than any hundred Earths put together. And certainly more than the Corpirate. I’ve seen what his research team’s done with years worth of experiments and let me tell you, it isn’t much.” Geoff shivered. His jacket collar itched and he shifted his shoulders to ease it.

“Would that be enough for a piece of his tech?” Ryan asked. “You need a helmet, don’t you?”

Alt-Geoff narrowed his eyes at Ryan. “You were loitering a lot longer than five minutes, weren’t you.”

“So I was eavesdropping, big whoop.”

Geoff scratched his beard. It had grown thick, the moustache part now long enough to twirl. “I don’t even need him to give me the helmet. I just need him to use it on me. Surely the information I have would be enough for that?”

Geoff couldn't help the smile that crossed his features.

Home.

He might be going home today, and if not today, tomorrow.

Home .

“If he’s a crook, though, I’d be careful.” Ryan warned.

“He is,” Geoff confirmed, “but if he tries anything, I can just spin this and be on my way.” Geoff held up the hypercube, which glowed at full capacity. “I’ll keep my stuff on hand so I don’t leave it behind.”

Alt-Geoff had taken one look at Geoff’s supplies and gave him a stern lecture about nutrition and proper travelling supplies. Now Geoff’s backpack held grains, dried meat, and dried fruits that Alt-Geoff made himself, as well as a superior first aid kit and a multitool.

Not that it mattered now. Home .

Geoff was going to see his crew again. Now, after all this time.

“Here’s how we’ll contact him,” Alt-Geoff said, “I’ll-”

“You don’t need to do anything,” Geoff cut him off, “I’ll go in and-”

“You’ll what, walk up to the receptionist in Arcadius and politely ask to see him?”

“I’ll tell them I know about the alien tech or something.”

“Yeah, that’ll get you kicked out of the building and banned from the premises.” Alt-Geoff said. “You’ll sound like a crazy person. I’ll get you to the Corpirate.”

“How?”

“I’ll email his goon back saying I’ll sell him Platty.” Alt-Geoff said. “If it comes down to it, and your information isn’t enough, I’ll sell her.”

“But Geoff,” Ryan said, “That’s our retirement!”

Alt-Geoff smiled. “Never let it be said I couldn’t help myself. Besides, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t help someone in need? I can always make new chickens.”

A gold coloured chicken raced past and Alt-Geoff, quick as lightning, nabbed it and held it under one arm.

“This the one you wanted, Ry?”

“Yep, that’s it.”

“She’s all yours. I’ll get the stuff you’ll need for her, and then we should head to your place. My internet’s down and I need to write that email.”

Alt-Geoff received his reply almost immediately.

“The Corpirate’s agreed to see me privately first thing tomorrow morning,” Alt-Geoff read off the dinky little laptop on Ryan’s kitchen table. “We’ll go to Arcadius bright and early and ask him if he has the alien technology you need.”

“I’ll write down everything I remember about alien technology,” Geoff said, thinking aloud. “I’ll fudge some of the dimensional stuff. Throw around the word “string” a lot. Branes. I can do the shadow thing Gus did where he rotated a cube around. But God help me if he asks for any maths.”

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, looking down at his phone. “I’m on the maths wiki now because some of that stuff you said earlier was interesting, but there’s like two numbers on this page. The rest is literally all Greek. And then at the bottom of this long-ass proof, they had the gall to write “obviously”. Jesus Christ, the pretensiousness. Pretension. Pretensicity.”

Alt-Geoff shook his head. “I don’t think you pronounced any of those right.”

“Kindly shut up.”

“Hey Ry,” Geoff said, “do you have any paper around?”

“Yeah, I’ll see if I can scrounge some up. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, okay?”

“Yep.” Alt-Geoff replied.

There was only one thing in Ryan’s fridge and it was diet coke. Geoff had sat in many a kitchen over the last few months and he had to say this iteration of Ryan had the strangest. There was a mug next to the microwave filled with knives, and not kitchen knives. Pocket knives, throwing knives, and one of those pastel butterfly knives. There was a painting of a butcher knife hanging beside the kitchen table, and a real rapier displayed on a hutch. At least, Geoff assumed it was a rapier. It was thin and looked very pointy. Too elegant for the rest of the rustic aesthetic. Sitting next to the rapier was a photo of an old fashioned clock tower, late at night with a full moon behind it.

“Here you go,” Ryan said, and dropped a small stack of paper on the kitchen table. “Also, I don’t think I’ll be going with you to see the Corpirate.”

“Why not?” Geoff asked.

“Three against one is… too many. I think it’ll be best if you two go. I’ll be happy to watch your farm in the interim though, Geoff.”

Alt-Geoff shot Ryan a strange glance. “Any particular reason why you don’t wanna come?”

“Mmmm… no.”

“That’s fair enough.” Geoff decided.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate you watching the farm, Ryan.” Alt-Geoff said. “Right, it’s getting late now, so if there’s nothing else I need to do I’m gonna head home. Come get me in the morning and I’ll drive us down to the city.”

“Other Geoff,” Ryan said, “if you need somewhere to spend the night, you can stay here. I have it on good authority that my couch is far comfier than Geoff’s.”

“I’d appreciate it.” Geoff replied.

There was one last thing to do before heading to Arcadius.

“There’s one last thing,” Ryan said, tapping on Geoff’s arm until he turned around.

“What is it?”

“Here, this is for you,” Ryan held out a worn looking leather jacket. Most of the jacket was a solid black, except for the shoulders, which had been dyed blue. Light grey rings circled the forearms and ends of the sleeves. It was, undoubtedly, the same jacket Geoff knew his Ryan used to wear, albeit more worn.

“You can’t walk around in that,” Ryan gestured towards Geoff’s suit jacket, “it’s barely holding together. Not to mention terrible for cold weather. It’s summer here, but it might not be where you’re going.”

“I’m going home , Ryan. I have jackets there, even if I don’t know what time of year it’ll be when I get back.”

“But if the Corpirate can’t send you back? Or you have to leave by your own hand for whatever reason? Please, take it. At the very least as a reminder of the time you spent here.”

Geoff reluctantly took the jacket from Ryan.

“I was only here for a day. Twenty four hours at the most.”

“It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it meant a lot to me n’ Geoff. Well, my Geoff. I fixed it up so it’s brand new for you, okay?”

Geoff slung the jacket over his shoulder. It did look warm, and upon looking closer there were several neat lines of stitching nestled against the heaviest wear areas. This Ryan, who barely knew him, had put in some serious effort to keep him warm, and it made a prickly sensation rise in his throat.

Geoff hesitated for a moment before pulling Ryan in for an all encompassing hug.

“Thank you,” Geoff said, holding him tight, “I’ll look after it.”

“I know you will.” Ryan replied. “Now come on, we need to head to Geoff’s.”

“Alright. Where’s your car?”

“Car? I own a few tractors, but nothing that goes particularly fast. If I need to head to the city I take Geoff’s ute. No, we’re riding.”

Geoff scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t know how to ride a horse. That’s not happening.”

“Fine with me,” Ryan said, and headed towards a stable a short walk away. He called out over his shoulder. “if you want to walk the couple of miles to Geoff’s farm, go ahead. Or you can sit behind me. Up to you.”

Geoff couldn’t see his face, but he knew Ryan was smirking up a storm. Rolling his eyes, he followed Ryan to the stable.

Arcadius.

The Arcadius Business Centre sat on Pillbox Hill, its curved, glass towers catching the early morning light and reflecting it down to the streets below. All 36 levels rose high against the skyline, taunting Geoff to come closer. 

Geoff, with only himself to help out if the Corpirate proved to be a threat, like he did in every other universe Geoff met him in.

Despite his mixed feelings towards the destruction of Arcadius in Geoff’s preferred universe, he thought the city was much better off without it.

In this universe the Corpirate directly owned every level, and reception had moved to the ground floor. The two Geoffs walked through the front door with no stolen IDs, no classy business suits, and no golden minigun stowed away in a suitcase. Just two regular people, looking to make a deal with the Corpirate.

Alt-Geoff beside him wrinkled his nose, and he was right to do so. A thick, noticeably thick scent of artificial stone and sawdust permeated the reception. Geoff couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was off about the smell, but he’d been around enough sawdust and woodchips on Alt-Geoff’s farm to tell the difference. Some fake smell the building’s interior designer thought would mean something.

Hopefully he’d get used to it soon enough.

Geoff would’ve thought enough time had passed for him to forget the receptionist’s face, but as soon as he laid eyes on her he knew she was the same one Ryan killed so many times. She looked thrown for half a second when they approached, Alt-Geoff in his finest pair of black jeans, and Geoff with his backpack and leather jacket thrown over one arm to hide the hypercube. Alt-Geoff showed her the instructions received in his email and his credentials, and explained that Geoff was his twin brother. The receptionist nodded eagerly and gave Alt-Geoff an ID badge before leading them to an elevator.

Geoff thought he would sweat through his suit and melt into the floor.

Alt-Geoff swiped the ID badge and the elevator ascended. It was a nice change of pace, having these work.

The elevator stopped on the tenth floor, because of course it wouldn’t go up all the way and Geoff wasn’t allowed to have nice things. Geoff led Alt-Geoff through a series of high-end office cubicles, avoiding one grand staircase to take a smaller one that came out directly next to some other elevators.

“You been here before or something?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“More often than I’d like,” Geoff replied through gritted teeth.

The second elevator took them to the twentieth floor, where residential apartments lined the walls. They walked across a glass bridge overhanging an interior garden, complete with flowing water feature.

Very fancy. Geoff wasn’t impressed, but Alt-Geoff didn’t hide his appreciation. He even pointed out a bird he saw flitting about in the undergrowth.

There were people around, walking, talking. Nobody was screaming or running away, or frantically trying to unlock their apartments. No-one threw smoke grenades.

These facts did not stop Geoff from scanning every room they walked past with nervous energy. His gun was out of reach, stowed away in his backpack, so he placed a protective arm over the hypercube. Ready, just in case.

A third and final elevator left them on the twenty ninth floor, with a second reception area. Geoff’s eyes immediately tracked to the security cameras he knew lurked in the corners.

The bronze cow water feature provided a quiet white noise while the two of them looked around.

“The instructions said we need to head to the thirtieth floor,” Alt-Geoff said, “but I can’t see a way up.”

“Oh, there’s another elevator over there.” Geoff pointed.

“Sweet.”

“But it doesn’t open up on the next floor.”

“Well that’s inconvenient,” Alt-Geoff replied. “How do we get up then?”

“Like this.” A third voice, thick with gravel and with an unplaceable accent, answered from on high.

The Corpirate.

He was bald, and tall, and broad chested. Muscles rippled underneath his tailored suit, and he looked powerful from his well-groomed moustache down to his expensive looking shoes. He was also wearing a monocle and an eyepatch.

“I can see why they call him the Corpirate.” Alt-Geoff breathed.

He stood on the thirtieth’s floor balcony with his phone in one hand and a glass of what was presumably whiskey in the other. He pressed a button on his phone and the floor in front of them hummed .

A curved staircase carved a path out of the floor and rose towards the balcony with smooth and near silent mechatronics. It skirted the edge of the giant cow water feature and came to a rest against the balcony, where the Corpirate folded one section away.

Ah. That was how that was done. Geoff had been a few seconds away from tipping a bookcase over.

“I enjoy beginning business negotiations with a little bit of performance, I have to admit.” The Corpirate smiled at Alt-Geoff, and it didn’t meet his eyes. “Mr Ramsey, a pleasure to meet you. And I see you’ve brought a guest?”

It took everything Geoff had to avoid flinching when he was mentioned. He desperately wanted to reach for a gun that may as well have been as distant as his crew, for all the use it was in his bag. He stared down the Corpirate, not quite trembling, but not far from it. The Corpirate stared back with the same intensity, his lone visible eyebrow quirking slightly.

“Ah, yeah,” Alt-Geoff fumbled for the right words. “Yeah, he’s Mr Ramsey as well. We’ll explain.”

Alt-Geoff ascended the stairs without any further hesitation, and once he reached the top he stuck out his hand for the Corpirate to shake. Geoff lagged behind him and maintained some distance between him and the Corpirate.

God, he barely looked any different than he had the last time Geoff saw him in Arcadius. There was some grey in the moustache now, a few more lines around the eyes, but that was all. His face still looked remarkably similar to Geoff’s, or maybe a little less gaunt. They had the same ears. The main difference between them was their posture; the Corpirate stood like the mast on a ship while Geoff felt he looked more like a rat trying to scurry away.

But this was a different Corpirate, and one he didn’t need to be intimidated by. There was no helmet, no laser cannon. Geoff made the effort to match the Corpirate’s stance, and they stood as equals, eye to eye.

“And you’re Mr Ramsey as well?” The Corpirate asked, holding a hand out to shake.

“You have alien technology.” Geoff stated, cutting to the chase.

The Corpirate paused. He considered Geoff with a longer look.

“I beg your pardon?”

“The helmet. The device that tracks other devices. An arm mounted laser cannon. A shield gauntlet. They’re here somewhere.”

The Corpirate took a small step back.

“What are you doing here? What do you want?”

“I’m here ‘cause you have something I need, and I’m willing to trade you for it.” Geoff pushed the leather jacket further up his arm, revealing the glow of the hypercube. “I’m here because I have alien technology too.”

“He’s me from another dimension,” Alt-Geoff explained, putting a hand on Geoff’s shoulder. “He doesn’t want to start any trouble, and we’re really here to do business with you. Do you have the tech he’s talking about?”

The Corpirate inclined his head in lieu of an answer. A second later, the alien helmet materialised around his head, the front glass broken and jagged. He put his glass of whiskey on the conference table behind him.

“How did you know?” The Corpirate asked Geoff.

“This hypercube,” Geoff raised his arm up, “lets me travel to different universes. We’ve, uh, met in some before. Do you know why your helmet can still turn you invisible, even though it’s almost broken?”

“Tell me.”

“You know you’ve got fourth-dimensional parts, right?”

The Corpirate nodded.

“When you turn invisible, the helmet’s just moving all of you into that space. But your brain can’t comprehend that, and looking at it can make you blind or kill you or something. So it stores what it can where you can’t see.”

Geoff mimed putting an eyepatch over his eye.

The Corpirate twirled his moustache between his fingers, thinking.

“Is that why the invisibility only works for me?”

“Any anyone you know with an eyepatch. Or a blindfold. There’s an alien suit out there somewhere that can do it better, without the need for a blindfold, but it’s out of your reach.” Geoff clicked his tongue. “Fuck, I forgot. There’s one your researchers are studying downstairs in the basement.”

The Corpirate pat his moustache back into place and sat down at the conference table.

“I’m under the impression you know far more about me than I do of you, Mr Ramsey. It appears we have a lot to discuss.”

“I’ll be happy to tell you everything you want to know about alien technology, as long as you promise to do one thing for me in return.”

The Corpirate leaned back in his seat. He smirked. “What can I do for you, a man who has every universe at his fingertips? What can I do, that you cannot?”

The Corpirate clicked his fingers. “Ah, how rude of me. Mr Ramsey,” he looked towards Alt-Geoff, “if you would like a refreshment, there’s a kitchen down the hall and to the left.”

Alt-Geoff’s eyes slanted toward Geoff’s. Geoff gave a small nod.

“Uh, sure. I’ll be back soon.”

Once Alt-Geoff was out of sight, the Corpirate turned on Geoff with a predatory look in his eyes.

“It must be for something unimaginably important,” The Corpirate continued, “for you to come to me.”

“What makes you say that?” Geoff asked.

“Because I can see it written all over your face. You’re scared of me, but not in the way that simple farmer version of you is.”

He was right, but Geoff wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction for it.

“If you knew me, you’d feel the same way.”

That made the Corpirate pause. He could tell Geoff was telling the truth.

“What is it you want from me?” The Corpirate said plainly.

“I need you to use your helmet to send me back to my home universe.” Geoff explained.

“I thought this helmet turned people invisible.”

Geoff blinked. It was surprising that the Corpirate hadn’t discovered any of its other abilities.

“It can do so, so much more than that. If you’re okay with it, I can show you-”

“-You can just tell me.”

“Fine. With enough thought and focus, it can be used to control other alien technology. Hack into it, in a way.”

“Any alien technology?”

“I think so. Except I have an earpiece in my home universe that can’t be hacked, but that’s really the only thing.”

The Corpirate withdrew a small, slender brick of cyan from his pocket and placed it on the conference table. Geoff recognised it as a tracker, the same piece of equipment Prince James had. Geoff had never seen the one his own Corpirate had claimed to have.

With a sly look towards Geoff, the Corpirate braced his arms on the table and narrowed his eyes at the tracker.

For a long few moments, nothing happened.

The surface of the tracker flickered, and red symbols darted across its length. They settled down and shifted into more recognisable shapes, cubes and spirals that worked their way into, Geoff realised, a legible map, depicting the room they were currently in. A brighter dot flashed on the map just in front of where the Corpirate should be sitting.

“Fascinating…” The Corpirate muttered to himself. “What I can do with this…”

“And that was free of charge.” Geoff said.

“Why didn’t I think of this before?”

“Well, you were sure about what the helmet did before. Do you look at a pen and expect it to help you to, I dunno, fly or something?”

Alt-Geoff walked back in at the same moment, carrying two glasses. He put them down on the conference table opposite the Corpirate, in front of two chairs. The Corpirate waved a distracted hand at him.

“Yes, sit, please,” The Corpirate said. He looked at Geoff. “Mr Ramsey, I accept your trade proposal. I’ll send you to whatever universe you want for every scrap of information you have. Now we just need to discuss details.”

Geoff took a quick sip of his water before carrying on. The glass skidded across the conference table, water almost sloshing over the side, but it was already out of Geoff’s mind.

“Gavin - he’s the guy who used the helmet most in my universe - said it was like a puzzle. You had to rotate what you were trying to access around in your brain. Really listen to everything the helmet was trying to tell you. It’s giving you more stuff than you can process but once you get ahold of it all, it just sorta clicks.”

The Corpirate grunted in response and deepened his frown.

“Sorry I don’t have any first hand info for you,” Geoff continued, “I tried to use the helmet once and it freaked out on me. Felt like my brain got deep-fried.”

“Shut up.”

Geoff rolled his eyes but lapsed into silence.

He resisted the urge to tap his fingers on the tabletop or jiggle his leg. The waiting, this was the worst part. He had nothing to distract himself. Or more specifically no-one, as even Alt-Geoff had wandered off to look at some of the art on the walls.

It wasn’t like a firefight, when your body shut down everything that wasn’t essential to survival. All the anxiety, the fear, any sluggishness that might cloud your thinking, it all went away. In those moments, Geoff had his crew to help ground him, cover each other’s weaknesses, egg each other on to greater heights. Their lives were in their hands, and it was up to them to figure out what to do with them.

But that was the furthest from reality here. Seeing them again, potentially as soon as a few minutes from now, was entirely in the Corpirate’s hands. The uncertainty would tear him apart soon enough if the Corpirate couldn’t gain access to the hypercube. The possibilities were swirling around inside his head, both of the Corpirate succeeding or failing to send him back. He had to remind himself not to get his hopes up and prepare for the worst. There were more universes with more Corpirates like this one if the Corpirate failed today. Hell, the progress he made today opened up the possibility of heading towards Prince James and asking him.

But, God, imagine…

“Ah.” The Corpirate smiled. “There it is.”

Geoff and Alt-Geoff both looked at him.

“You can…?” Geoff prompted.

“I believe so.” The Corpirate’s monocled eye scanned invisible information. “For instance, I can tell you’ve travelled to four hundred and nineteen different universes.”

“That… sounds about right.” Geoff agreed. He didn’t spend long in most universes, just long enough for the hypercube to recharge, except for the ones he slept in. There were exceptions of course, but the number sat well with him.

“So you can send him back?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“Yes. But,” The Corpirate held out a hand towards Geoff. “I’ve proven I can access the hypercube. Give me the first half of the papers.”

Geoff gestured at Alt-Geoff, who pulled some crumpled papers out of a back pocket. They contained everything Geoff remembered about the shield gauntlet and laser cannon. The second half was about the pellet storage containers, weapons, and helmet. The Corpirate would get those from Alt-Geoff after Geoff was gone. All that information would make him the most powerful person on the planet.

Which was why, at the end of the last page, Geoff included a small note reminding the Corpirate not to think about asking the helmet to show him all of time and space. If he read it, that might trigger the helmet into doing the same thing it did to Prince James and a Gus once: turn them into drooling messes. It was a dick move, but then again it was the Corpirate. Fuck him.

“Do you want to do it now?” Alt-Geoff asked Geoff.

Geoff nodded and stood, swinging his backpack over one shoulder. “I’ve got everything. No point delaying, right?”

Alt-Geoff grinned at him. “Good luck. Tell everyone hi from me, would you?”

“Sure. Corpirate?”

“Hmm?”

“Once I spin the hypercube, work your magic.” Geoff instructed. “You’ll never know if it works, but I’m trusting you. Okay?”

“I gain nothing out of tricking you.” The Corpirate said. “Are you ready?”

Geoff nodded once again, the motion shakey. “Yep.”

He spared one last look towards Alt-Geoff. He gave his first genuine, real smile towards him, something he hadn’t done in quite a while.

Geoff spun the hypercube, and the universe disintegrated into a million, billion, trillion strings.

If there were any directions in the space between universes, Geoff was under the impression he was travelling backwards.

The sensation halted suddenly as the original wrong feeling returned in full force. Geoff’s strings whirled around, tightening and tangling, and threw themselves deeper into the space.

Geoff opened his eyes to meet his own staring over him with a befuddled expression on his face. Something with the consistency of mashed potato squished against his pant leg. Liquid that smelled like red wine ran down his forehead. He was half draped over a dining table.

Of course. He didn’t think .

It didn’t matter if he found a helmet to control the hypercube. It didn’t matter if he found a hundred of them, or a thousand, or if he found one in every single universe ready and waiting for him to use.

Because once he did, whatever force that dragged him the wrong way in the first place could just drag him away again.

It was useless. Everything he’d tried to do in the last however many months of universe jumping was a waste of time.

There was no returning home.

Alt-Geoff stood over him with a glass tumbler in one hand and a bottle of whiskey tipped over it in the other. While he stared, the direction of his pour slowly changed until the whiskey was no longer hitting the glass, and instead drizzled against first his arm, then the edge of the table, and finally the floor.

Geoff, with controlled slowness, took the tumbler from his hand and drained the glass in one go.

Chapter Text

Geoff woke up with an ungodly pounding in his head and an equally ungodly pounding on the door.

"Get up, Glitch," Michael shouted through the door. "Geoff wants to see you. Gavin's been murdered."

"There is about to be another murder," Geoff hollered back, "if you don't stop banging on that fucking door!"

"You're goddamn right there's gonna be another murder!" Michael screamed. "I'm gonna find the sonofabitch who did it and rip his goddamn throat out!"

"Wait," Geoff said, struggling to keep up, "there really was a murder? Here?"

"Yep," Michael replied, calmer, "and you've got ten minutes to meet Geoff in the bridge or we're gonna assume it was you."

The sound of Michael's footsteps faded away and were replaced by loud banging on the door next to him.

"Oi Jeremy! Ryan! Gavin's been murdered!"

Geoff groaned and rolled over.

Christ, his mouth was dry. The last time he'd woken up feeling this shitty was-

Ah. The drinking last night.

Geoff expected the hot flush of embarrassment to wash over him, and he wasn't disappointed.

Three years of progress down the drain. That felt worse than the hangover.

His bed dipped suddenly, swayed in a way he wasn't expecting and his stomach dipped with it. Oh yeah. He was on his old superyacht.

Bits and pieces of last night filtered into his awareness. The whole crew had been there, and they all but emptied Alt-Geoff's entire liquor cabinet after dinner. Geoff remembered stumbling around the dining room, throwing random shit in the jacuzzi, and vomiting off the side of the back deck.

Not a good look, but Geoff was about four hundred universes away from caring.

Geoff rolled over and brushed against canvas fabric. Right, he'd brought his bag into bed for safekeeping. Peeking inside, he could tell it was missing a few things, but nothing he couldn't live without. Farmer Ryan’s jacket, some food, ammunition, all his cash. He would survive without them.

He could leave now and avoid dealing with the murder that apparently took place last night. While Geoff was fairly sure it hadn’t been him, so much of last night was still a blur. Not to mention the as-of-yet unidentified murderer walking among them.

Sure, all the Fakes were murderers already. But it was different when it was Fake-on-Fake murder.

The smartest thing to do was leave. Still, Geoff hesitated.

He didn’t want to go to another universe and explain his situation all over again. Not when that meant explaining that the plan that kept him going was worthless all along, or that he didn’t know what he was going to do next, or where he was going, or if he’d ever see his family again-

“You know what,” Geoff said to himself, “Let’s see if I can’t solve this murder myself.”

He arrived at the bridge with a couple of minutes to spare. Ryan leaned near the giant ship’s wheel, the dark cloud covering his thoughts almost visible. Jeremy and Michael talked quietly in a corner, although Jeremy’s attention wandered to a stack of charts and drafting instruments displayed next to him. Jack pressed a hot mug of tea into Geoff’s hands, smiling with sympathy while nursing his own. It was chock full of honey but it did wonders for his mood.

Jack, always proving himself to be the Best Boyfriend, even when he wasn’t one of Geoff’s.

Surprisingly, Alt-Geoff was the last to arrive.

“Alright,” Alt-Geoff barked, “seeing as I don’t know which of you I can trust, I’m electing to trust none of you. And that means nobody’s going to walk around my superyacht covered in weapons. So go on, lay ‘em out.”

“Really, Geoff?” Jeremy griped. “Like there’s nothing on this boat we can use as a weapon.”

“It’ll slow you down ,” Alt-Geoff replied, “at the very least.”

The Fakes grumbled, but complied. Slowly a pile of guns, explosives, and knives grew on the table. Alt-Geoff himself contributed a familiar looking Glock, a pair of throwing knives Geoff hadn’t seen since years ago when he gave them to Ryan, and two stun grenades.

“You too, Glitchy.” Alt-Geoff said, and motioned towards the pile.

“What, me?” Geoff put a protective hand on his chest. “I didn’t kill Gavin! Why do I have to put my weapons out? I could leave at any time, you know.” Geoff waved the hypercube at Alt-Geoff.

Michael ripped the Glock out of Geoff’s waistband and tossed it on the pile. Geoff jumped back and glared at Michael.

“Because the boss said so, that’s why.” Michael said. “Hurry up, the rest of it.”

Without too many other options, Geoff begrudgingly slid his knife out of his back pocket and put it on the table.

“Well, well,” Ryan drawled, “where did you get that?”

“A different Ryan, a long time ago.” Geoff answered.

“Looks just like one of yours, Ryan,” Jack squinted at the knife, “one that hasn’t made it on the pile yet I see.”

Ryan hmmphed and withdrew an identical knife from his own jacket. He put on his best customer service smile and very delicately placed the knife down with two fingers, pinky in the air.

“There. Happy?”

Jack crossed his arms.

“What?”

Jack raised an eyebrow.

Ryan sighed.

Another knife joined the pile.

Then another. And another.

Ryan’s eyes met Jack’s, but the other man didn’t lower his gaze.

Head down, Ryan pulled one last knife out from literally up his sleeve, and it joined the others on top of the pile.

“ There . Happy .”

“Like a kid at Christmas.”

Geoff cleared his throat. Ryan turned on him and stared like the action of not murdering Geoff was taking up all his willpower.

“ What .”

“You uh,” Geoff swallowed, “usually keep a flip knife in your right sock. A real secret one.”

Ryan deflated.

“Okay, how could you possibly know about that one? No-one else here does.”

Geoff looked over the other Fakes. “Really? None of you have ever done laundry together? You never found a knife rattling around in the dryer?”

“God,” Alt-Geoff said, “when was the last time I did a load of washing…”

“This isn’t important, Geoff,” Michael snapped. “The body? Where is Gavin?”

“In a minute, Michael.” Alt-Geoff snapped back. “If that’s everything ,” Alt-Geoff cast a discerning eye over the room, “I’ll lead you to him.”

“No, hold on.” Jeremy said. “Glitch. Leave the bag.”

“What? Why?”

“So you don’t disappear on us, that’s why!”

“I wouldn’t actually leave without my-” Geoff sighed, and dropped the bag against a table leg. “Satisfied yet?”

Jeremy inclined his head.

“If that’s all,” Alt-Geoff continued, “we should get a move on.”

Gavin died in the hallway between the kitchen and the dining room.

“Jesus Christ,” Jack swore, shaking his head.

There wasn’t that much blood, but it was the way Gavin was sprawled that made the scene more horrific. Clearly he had been stabbed in the back, one clean wound right up near his neck, but his head must have hit a sharp corner of the wall. A streak of blood washed down the wall like somebody had smeared it with their hand. Or their head, in this case.

Geoff looked on with half lidded eyes, taking in the scene.

“It was quick, at least,” Ryan said, crouching down next to the corpse. “Gavin would’ve died before he hit the ground. And it didn’t happen too long ago. Blood’s still fresh.”

“I told Michael to gather everybody as soon as I found him,” Alt-Geoff explained. “that was what, forty minutes ago? And how long would you say he’s been there, Ryan?”

“I’m not an expert, Geoff, I can’t say for certain. But prior experience says maybe four hours?”

“Just after 2am.” Jeremy added.

“We were all still awake at 2am,” Alt-Geoff said. “That was just after Glitched Me threw up over the side.”

“You were with him?”

“Yep.”

“Glitchy, is that true?”

Geoff shrugged. “I have no clue, to be honest. I don’t remember much from last night.”

Alt-Geoff crossed his arms. “Well we need to figure out exactly what happened, when. I want to put a timeline together.”

“I have a better idea,” Jeremy cut in, “we need to find the murder weapon first. There’s a knife somewhere with Gavin’s blood on it. That should tell us who did it.”

“Unless they threw it over the side,” Jack said.

“Then we look for a missing knife. Everyone at this point should know what we all carry.”

Alt-Geoff clicked his fingers and pointed at Jeremy. “Smart, very smart.”

Geoff cast a sidelong glance at Jeremy. “Except for me, asshole. I don’t know what weapons are normal for you all.”

“Then it sucks to be you, I guess.”

Jack poked Jeremy hard in the chest.

“It was you , wasn’t it!”

“What? Why me?” Jeremy asked. He took a step backwards away from Jack.

“You don’t want Geoff to put a timeline together!”

“Because it’s dumb!” Jeremy shot back. “Half of us can’t remember what happened! We were all drunk as shit! It’s just wasting time!”

“No, you’re trying to cover your tracks!”

“Hey, shut the fuck up!” Michael stood in between them. “I think we should go with Jeremy’s idea. We were all drunk as fuck last night. There’s no way any of us could cover up a murder effectively while in that state. I say we look for clues.”

“I’m with Michael.” Ryan said. “I’m happy to play detective for a few hours.”

Alt-Geoff twirled his moustache between two fingers. “Fine, fine. We’ll split up and look around. Call out if you find anything.”

After the various noises of confirmation, the Fakes wandered apart to search the surrounds.

“Hey, Glitchy.” Jack said. “Help me move Gavin into one of the rooms and out of the hallway?”

“Okay.”

Jack picked the corpse up under the arms and Geoff grabbed the legs. Geoff directed them to a small bedroom not too far away he knew was little used. This was Geoff’s old superyacht, after all. The layout was as fresh for him as if he last wandered its halls yesterday. Which he did, but that’s beside the point.

As soon as they were out of listening range from the other Fakes, Jack spoke again.

“So. You’re from another universe, I remember.”

“That’s right.”

“And you have another set of Fakes? That work for you?”

“Yeah, but we’re also together. Like, together-together, like you.”

Jack nodded along. “And… what would you do? If it was your Gavin?”

“I don’t know.” Geoff admitted. “If he was killed by a Fake as well? Once upon a time I would’ve brushed it off but I definitely couldn’t now. But… I’m not sure if I could enact revenge.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“It would be a complicated situation between complicated people. But I would do whatever I needed to keep everyone else safe.”

“Would you kill one of us here, to protect the rest of us?”

“Do you think I’ll need to?”

Jack shrugged. “You might. The killer could strike again. Who would you guess it is?”

Geoff chewed on his bottom lip. “If I had to guess, I’d say Ryan. He’s the best with knives. Gavin died quickly.”

They deposited the corpse on a bed. Geoff crossed the arms over the chest, made sure the eyes were shut properly. It felt respectful.

“We’re different from your Fakes.” Jack said.

“Yes.” Geoff replied. “But you seem very similar to my own. A bit more wild, based on last night.”

Jack cast a long look over Gavin’s body. “We all know each other well. Maybe a bit too well. You’re more unpredictable than the rest of us combined.”

“Do you think I’ll need to be?” Geoff paused. “Do you really think there’ll be another murder?”

Jack shrugged and raised his eyebrows at the same time, as if to say “could be”. 

“Geoff took all our weapons for a reason.” Jack replied. “I’m just saying you might have a valuable outside perspective. I’m gonna go poke around now, but if I were you, I’d keep a bit of a careful eye on Ryan, if I suspected him of turning traitor.”

Jack gave him a little salute and left the room.

Geoff moved to follow him, but paused in the doorway. He looked back at Gavin’s body.

If there was one thing his “valuable outside perspective” gave him, it was the gumption to search any corpse of pseudo loved ones he came across.

Gavin still had his revolver hidden on his person, and Geoff relieved him of it.

There was a murderer on the loose, after all. Gavin wouldn’t need it any more.

“Thanks, Gav.” Geoff whispered. He tucked it away in his pants.

It wasn’t like Geoff would be the only one searching for a weapon, and the superyacht didn’t make it difficult. The kitchen would be fully stocked with knives and he knew there would be one of those little brûlée torches in a drawer as well. Not to mention the occasional odds and ends displayed around the place. If Alt-Geoff was thinking straight he would lock more doors than just the one to the bridge.

Geoff was pretty confident he had the only ranged weapon at least, even if the fire rate left much to be desired. There were only six bullets in the revolver and he hadn’t found any more ammunition on Gavin.

There might be more in his room with his belongings, but skulking around there would be suspicious. 

Geoff made his way back to the dining room but there was only Gavin’s blood stain to keep him company. Continuing his walk, he found himself in the outside bar area, right next to the jacuzzi.

Ryan leaned over the edge of the jacuzzi, fingertips rippling the water, but his eyes were cast skyward.

“Pretty sunrise,” Ryan said as a greeting, “doubt the clouds will stay that colour for long.”

The sunrise was okay. It didn’t hold Geoff’s attention like it once did.

“What are you doing out here, Ry?” Geoff asked.

Ryan flicked some water off his fingers. “Thinking about jumping in and figuring out what we threw in here last night.”

The jacuzzi’s waters were murky, and smelled like soft drink and vodka. The concoction turned Geoff’s stomach.

“Thinking about it?”

“Well it’s probably filled with broken glass… and it’s cold.” Ryan admitted.

Geoff stuck his finger in. Yeah, it was icy.

“Yeah, don’t fucking jump in that.” Geoff agreed. “We’ll find a pool scoop or something.”

They did not, in fact, find a pool scoop, but there was a pair of long barbecue tongs in a drawer. Someone’s arm would get wet but it was better than jumping on broken glass.

Geoff passed the tongs to Ryan.

“You have longer arms.” Geoff said.

Ryan rolled his eyes but rolled his sleeves the same way, got down on his belly, and commenced fishing around in the water.

Up came a pair of shoes, laces tied together, that were immediately recognised as Michael’s.

“He was looking for these last night,” Ryan said. “I spent about ten minutes in his room looking for them with him.”

Next out of the water was an empty bottle of Ragga Rum and two waterlogged books. No comments were made as Ryan tossed them aside.

An Xbox controller. A pair of Gavin’s sunglasses. A golf ball with little bats painted on it. A tin of something that claimed to be rattlesnake meat, which Geoff immediately threw in the bin.

“I… hmmm…” Ryan said, pulling up a bundle of leather wrapped in clear plastic. “This looks suspiciously like my leather jacket.”

“Oh, you might be wearing mine then.” Geoff crouched over him and squinted at it. “Yeah, there’s a lot of repair work on the one you’re wearing. That’s mine.”

Ryan shrugged out of it and passed it over. “Sorry, they look really similar.”

“No worries. It was a gift from another Ryan. He worked on a farm so I’m surprised the smell didn’t tip anyone off.”

“Doesn’t seem like the sort of thing I would gift,” Ryan said.

“I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Geoff replied. “I think he was… retiring it, in a way.”

Ryan laughed a little at that. “I would never think you’d steal something like that.”

“Of course I would never-”

-“No version of me would get so sloppy.” Ryan finished with a grin.

Geoff flipped him off.

Shaking his head, Ryan returned his attention to his own jacket.

“This has Gavin written all over it,” Ryan said, unwrapping the plastic. “Ballsy enough to throw my jacket in here, not ballsy enough to let it get wet.”

“Ballsy enough to steal it from under your nose,” Geoff replied, pouting while Ryan donned the jacket he was familiar with. “Looks like you did get sloppy.”

“Do you want to get pushed in the jacuzzi? Because this is how you get pushed in the jacuzzi.”

“Oh you wouldn’t dare,” Geoff said, and immediately regretted his word choice when Ryan’s eyes lit up. He hastily shoved his arms through the sleeves of farmer Ryan’s jacket. “You wouldn’t want to get such nice leather wet.”

“Guess we’ll have to find out.” Ryan was on his feet in a flash, tongs dropped, and Geoff shrieked and bolted.

Geoff was confident over a long distance he could outrun Ryan, but a sprint? No chance in hell. 

Geoff skidded once on the wet floor, shoes unsuited for the deck, and that was all Ryan needed to close the last bit of distance between them.

Ryan yanked on the collar of farmer Ryan’s jacket and Geoff’s feet went out from under him. Geoff’s back collided into Ryan’s chest and Ryan hauled him backwards, not giving him a chance to regain his footing.

A second later Ryan had Geoff in a comfortable headlock, and that was when Geoff’s quiet laughter petered out. He wouldn’t actually… would he?

“No, Ryan, don’t you dare !”

“Stop me then!” Ryan raised his voice over the wind to be heard.

Geoff stuck his foot behind one of Ryan’s and he stumbled, almost letting Geoff slip away but Ryan pulled him back and held him close. Now Geoff’s arms were trapped between them and they were face to face.

They paused there, for a moment, just looking at each other. Ryan panted with the sudden exertion, breath visible in the cold morning air, a dirty grin plastered across his face.

The jacuzzi sat barely a foot away.

“You done?” Geoff breathed.

“Mmmm… nah.”

Ryan swept Geoff’s feet away and he plunged towards the water.

Geoff shrieked again, but he didn’t hit the water. Ryan kept his arms wrapped tightly around Geoff’s waist, dipping him over the water like a dancer would his partner. Geoff’s hands had instinctively come up to wrap around Ryan’s shoulders, but once he realised Ryan wasn’t going to drop him he relaxed, allowing Ryan to take more of his weight.

Ryan, the bastard, wiggled his eyebrows at Geoff. His grin had not faltered for a moment.

“Still think I’m sloppy?”

“No, no, I’d say that was” -Geoff swallowed- “very smooth.”

Ryan leaned in closer, eyes darting up and down Geoff’s face.

“How much, would you say,” Ryan said in a low voice, “I remind you of your own Ryan?”

Geoff shut his eyes. His hands trailed down Ryan’s shoulders to rest against his biceps, fingers running along the jacket’s seams. He could smell the fine leather, Ryan’s shampoo, and the faintest tinge of his sweat.

Familiar, familiar. Even the hands beneath him and the legs just barely touching his own felt like they were hard wired into his memory.

Geoff was afraid, suddenly, of opening his eyes and meeting Ryan’s, because then the picture would be complete.

“Too much,” Geoff said finally. “So much it hurts.”

Ryan gave a quiet hmm , the sound barely audible, and a moment later Geoff was back on his feet.

The moment over, Geoff looked at Ryan to see his eyes downcast, his hands loosely holding Geoff’s while his thumb traced over a square of displaced tattoo. Then even that he stopped, stepping away and looking towards the doorway Geoff had come through as footsteps approached.

Michael skidded around a corner, a flagpole in hand, and came to a running stop in front of them.

“Christ,” Michael said, out of breath, “it sounded like you were getting murdered over here, Glitch.”

It occurred to Geoff, very suddenly, that not once had he thought Ryan might try to kill him.

“And you were gonna protect me with that?” Geoff gestured at the wooden flagpole.

“I would’ve beat the shit out of Ryan with it if I needed to.”

Ryan huffed a laugh, then pointed at Michael’s sodden shoes.

“Found your boots, Michael.”

Michael took one look at them swore violently.

“Fucking Gavin, if he wasn’t already dead…”

Geoff, wisely, kept his mouth shut about his own involvement.

“Is that everything down there?” Geoff asked, changing the subject.

Ryan shook his head. “Don’t think so. Give me a few minutes.”

Up out of the water came Jack’s lockpicking kit, some broken glassware, and Jeremy’s white cowboy hat.

“I think that’s it,” Ryan said, shaking the water off his arm and tossing the tongs down. “No knives.”

Michael picked up Jeremy’s hat and wrung it out. Dirty water splattered to the deck. He also pocketed Jack’s lockpicking kit.

“Jack and Jeremy’ll want these back, even if they’re wet.”

“I’ll come with you,” Geoff said, “if you’re going looking for them.”

Michael nodded and started walking away. Geoff trailed along behind him.

From the side of the jacuzzi, Ryan’s quiet reply followed them.

“I’ll just… keep looking around here, then…”

The chance that the murderer was Ryan, Geoff thought, was small. This iteration of Ryan was, almost impossibly, sweeter than the one at home. The idea that he would murder any of his boyfriends just felt too foreign.

Jack would need to know Geoff had changed his initial assessment of Ryan. Thinking on it further, he could probably cross Michael off the list as well. Michael, killing Gavin? Not in a million universes. If it was a permanent death, that is. Michael had killed Gavin a couple of times in Zancudo but that didn’t really count, did it.

That left Alt-Geoff, Jeremy, and Jack.

Jack had been quick to focus the blame on Jeremy back in the bridge. And then, while moving Gavin’s body, he’d asked Geoff who he thought the murderer was. Of course Geoff couldn’t say he suspected Jack right to his face, so his thoughts had been diverted. And Jack had even asked him to keep an eye on Ryan. How could that be not suspicious?

And wow , it was easy to let his thoughts drift to Ryan anyway, because Ryan had held most of Geoff’s body weight over the water for a good thirty seconds and his arms hadn’t trembled once.

Ryan’s warm hands around his waist. He had such clever fingers, so good at hand to hand combat, so good with knives, even better than Geoff at throwing them-

Hang on.

“Hold up a sec, Michael,” Geoff poked Michael with a finger.

“What?” Michael was instantly on the defensive, even eyeing Geoff with distrust.

“Oh really, you’re worried about me, now?” Geoff spat, annoyed. “You think I’ve stopped you so I can kill you in this hallway?”

“You could try .”

“And that’s another thing,” Geoff carried on, “why are you so worried the murder’s gonna strike again? Why does everyone on this yacht think that?”

Michael dropped his defensive stance. “What did you want, Glitch?”

“I need to head over to the bridge. I can prove something, I’m sure. Can you pass me Jack’s lockpicking kit?”

Michael snorted. “Yeah, right. And leave you with all those weapons?”

“Come on,” Geoff pointed at the flagpole Michael still brandished. “there are weapons all around if you know how to look. And you can’t really think it’s me, do you?”

Michael’s eyes slanted away from Geoff. “No, I don’t. Okay fine, take it. But I’ll be keeping a close eye on you.”

Michael passed the lockpicking kit over and Geoff slid it in his pants pocket, careful to keep the revolver hidden.

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter. Why don’t you go find Jeremy and I’ll return the lock picks to Jack after I’m done?”

“Now if that’s not the most suspicious thing I’ve heard all goddamn morning-”

“-We’ll all go,” Alt-Geoff cut in, appearing apparently through magic at the end of the hallway.

“Fucking Christ,” Geoff swore, and Michael echoed the sentiment.

“Holy fuck Geoff.”

“Bridge is back the way you came,” Alt-Geoff said. “Lead the way.”

Geoff pulled a face at him and muttered under his breath. “I probably know the way better than you.”

Once they arrived, Geoff didn’t need the lock picks after all because Alt-Geoff let them in with his key. They stood just inside the doorway, keeping a fair distance away from the weapons. Michael, begrudgingly, leaned the flagpole against the wall after a stern look from Alt-Geoff.

“There, look.” Geoff pointed. “Two throwing knives. I know I used to carry three.”

“Huh,” Alt-Geoff said. “That’s right. That’s the missing knife.”

Michael crossed his arms. “And who do we know’s the best at throwing knives around here?”

“No, wait,” Geoff cut in, “just because Ryan’s the best doesn’t mean it was him. Anyone could have thrown that knife.”

“Gavin was hit in the spine, Glitch. I know I couldn’t throw a knife that well.”

A fist rattled against the doorframe. Jeremy poked his head inside the bridge. He looked like he was about to make an announcement, but stopped short when he saw Geoff.

“You’ve got Ryan’s jacket?”

“It’s not his, it’s from another dimension.”

“Right, okay.”

Michael jutted his chin towards Jeremy. “You find something, Lil’J?”

“I have. There’s uh, there’s been another murder.”

“Who?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“Jack.”

Jack was found at the foot of the staircase leading to the engine room. Blood was still draining out of him, the pool of blood growing before Geoff’s eyes.

“Stabbed,” Jeremy said. “Same place as Gavin. The killer probably used the same knife, which means he had it on him the whole time.”

“How’d you find him, Jeremy?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“I was gonna poke around the engine room, see if anyone had hidden the knife in there.” Jeremy replied. “Jack probably had the same idea, just faster than me.”

Alt-Geoff nodded to himself.

“Michael. Glitch. Grab him.”

“What?” Jeremy said, and flinched when Geoff and Michael came at him.

Alt-Geoff began to pat him down. “If I find a knife, I know it’s you. You’ve already killed two people and I doubt you’ll stop there.”

“It’s not me!” Jeremy protested, wriggling a little in Geoff and Michael’s grip, but he didn’t make any real effort to dislodge them.

Eventually Alt-Geoff stepped away, finding nothing.

“You satisfied?”

“If you don’t have it, that means…” Alt-Geoff trailed off.

“Ryan.” Jeremy finished.

Michael and Alt-Geoff nodded somberly.

“Ryan and his knives,” Jeremy continued, mostly to himself.

“That settles it then,” Alt-Geoff said. “We have to kill Ryan before he kills anyone else. Back to the bridge.”

“Wait,” Geoff said, “what if we run into him on the way? The bridge’s right on the other end of the yacht. Four of us head for it he’ll know what’s up.”

“It’s not like he could stop all four of us at once,” Jeremy said, “but we’d lose the element of surprise. We could split into pairs and make separate ways to the bridge?”

“Good idea.”

“Michael,” Jeremy said, “would you help me carry Jack to the room where Gavin is?”

“Sure.”

“You’re with me, Glitch.” Alt-Geoff said. “We’ll go, you two follow us.”

“Okay.”

“Yep.”

With that, Geoff and Alt-Geoff ascended the stairs.

Once they were a fair distance along, Alt-Geoff spoke in a hushed tone.

“After we grab what we need from the bridge,” Alt-Geoff said, “are you gonna be able to help us? Like, help kill Ryan.”

Geoff thought for a few seconds.

“I don’t know. But if it needs to be done, if he’s gonna keep killing us off…”

“I can lock you in the bridge, if you want. It’s not your universe, I’ll understand if you don’t-”

“-Thanks, but I’d rather be there. And I can leave at any time, you remember.”

“Right, true.”

“It’s just not fair,” Geoff continued, “This Ryan was so kind to me. And he had plenty of opportunities to kill me and he didn’t.”

“I don’t know why he wouldn’t.” Alt-Geoff replied. “You think it might’ve been your jacket? He hates getting blood on fine leather, especially that jacket.”

“Oh I know ,” Geoff said, “the way he gripes about it, like blood’s an unusual thing in our line of work-”

Geoff stopped short.

“What is it?” Alt-Geoff said.

“The jacket.”

“What about it?”

“Why did Jeremy ask me about the jacket?”

“Uhhh,” Alt-Geoff said, “when did he do that?”

“In the bridge. It was so important to him that he asked about it before telling us Jack was murdered.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. Was a little abrupt.”

“Why would he…”

Geoff stuck his hands in the jacket pockets, fishing around. All he found was a piece of hay. He checked the hidden interior pockets and in one of them his hand hit something metallic.

He pulled it out and both he and Alt-Geoff stared at it.

It was a blood soaked throwing knife.

“How…?” Alt-Geoff breathed.

“Ryan and I found his jacket at the bottom of the jacuzzi,” Geoff quickly explained. “The jacket he was wearing was mine, and once we realised, he gave it back.”

“So... Ryan accidentally gave you the knife?”

“Ryan’s not that sloppy.”

“You’re right.” Alt-Geoff agreed. “So he had no idea?”

“It must have been planted on him.” Geoff realised.

“Jeremy...” Alt-Geoff’s eyes darkened. His thoughts, Geoff suspected, were running in the same direction.

“He spent the night with Ryan, I heard Michael waking them up.” Geoff said. “Jeremy could have killed Gavin, then hidden the knife once Ryan was asleep.”

“That’s why Jeremy wanted us to look for the knife right at the start! He was setting us up to find it on Ryan!”

“That’s why he asked me about the jacket! He needed Ryan to wear it, but he didn’t realise he put the knife in the wrong one!”

“Then how did he kill Jack if the knife was here?”

Geoff twirled some beard hairs around his fingers. “Dunno yet. We’ll have to ask him, won’t we?”

“Oh God.” Alt-Geoff paled. “We left Jeremy alone with Michael.”

“Michael!” Alt-Geoff shouted. “It’s Jeremy! It was Jeremy the whole time!”

“It was Jeremy!” Geoff’s shout joined Alt-Geoff’s as they pelted down a hallway. “Ryan, it was Jeremy!”

“You sure?” Ryan called back from somewhere close by.

“Definitely!”

“Okay!” Ryan answered, and he appeared from around a corner.

“Fucking-”

“Your footsteps are loud.”

Geoff pulled the revolver from his pants. If there was a time to use it, it was now.

“Oh Glitch, clever.” Ryan said, sounding far too normal despite the speed they were travelling at. “I thought you were just happy to see me.”

“Please,” Alt-Geoff cut in, sounding out of breath, “flirt after we’ve killed the murderer.”

Alt-Geoff, somehow, reached the correct door first and threw it open.

Jeremy was ready for him, and stabbed him in the shoulder. Alt-Geoff grunted and fell back, slamming the door shut.

“Ow, fuck!” Alt-Geoff swore. He braced himself against the door with his uninjured side while Jeremy rattled the door handle. “We’re too late. Michael’s dead in there.”

“Shit.” Ryan joined Alt-Geoff in holding the door shut.

Geoff passed Ryan the blood stained throwing knife. “Here. You’ll use it better than I would.”

Ryan gave the blade a puzzled look before shrugging and holding it ready.

The rattling from the other side of the door stopped.

“Jeremy?” Alt-Geoff called out.

“Hey guys,” Jeremy replied, “how’re you doing?”

“You stabbed me!”

“Well you were gonna come in here and kill me, so I didn’t really have a choice, did I.”

“Where’d you get the knife?” Geoff called out next.

“I made it out of one of those metal rulers I found in the bridge. Snapped it at an angle. Hid it on Jack’s corpse after I ganked him.” Geoff could practically hear Jeremy’s smirk. “Ryan’s not the only one with a talent for hiding knives.”

“Geoff,” Ryan said to Alt-Geoff, “Go to the bridge and get our guns-”

There was an almighty thunk as Jeremy crashed into the door and it opened about a foot. The gap was big enough for Jeremy to reach around and stab Alt-Geoff clean through the wrist.

Alt-Geoff howled and dropped away from the door.

Jeremy forced the door open the rest of the way, pausing only to duck out of the way of Ryan’s stab with the throwing knife.

Geoff pointed the revolver at the door towards Jeremy, but Alt-Geoff and Ryan were in the way.

“Go!” Ryan shouted at them. “Get the guns-”

Jeremy stabbed him through the eye with his ruler knife. Ryan dropped like a sack of stones, crumpling inwards on the narrow hallway floor.

Jeremy stood over him, covered in blood.

Ryan was no longer in the way.

Geoff fired Gavin’s revolver at Jeremy. Jeremy used the open door as cover and they all winced when the loud bang echoed back and forth over them.

Alt-Geoff barrelled into Geoff.

“Fuck, just run, run, shit- fuck!”

They bolted down the hallway, away from Jeremy. Heavy footsteps pounded after them.

“The bridge,” Geoff panted, “we’re going the wrong way-”

“The back balcony,” Alt-Geoff cut in, “We’ll jump down to the lower deck. Circle down and around.”

Two twists later and the ocean came into sight. Geoff vaulted over the railing and slid down the external wall. He hit the deck with a well practiced roll and looked around, checking for Jeremy.

Alt-Geoff lowered himself down the side with his one good hand, the other cradled against his chest. He rolled with the same grace and they stood together staring up at the balcony. Geoff raised his revolver, ready just in case.

Jeremy didn’t appear.

There were no more footsteps. The only sound was the wind and the gentle lapping of waves against the hull. The yacht barely rocked, the water almost still.

“He’ll make it to the bridge before us,” Alt-Geoff mused, keeping his voice low. “Wait there and ambush us.”

“Okay, we won’t go there then.”

“Where do we go?”

“The kitchen. You locked it too, didn’t you?”

“Uh yeah, I did. You what, you want to come at him with an armful of kitchen knives?”

Geoff shrugged. “Or a saucepan. Either way, it reduces our chances of running into him before we get the bridge door unlocked. The way he took down Ryan… I don’t want to fight him with just a loud and slow revolver with five bullets left.”

“You took that from Gavin’s corpse, didn’t you.”

“Yep.”

“Glad you did. Wait, do you think Jeremy would have thought of this? And he’s waiting for us at the kitchens instead?”

Geoff clicked his tongue. “He know you locked it?”

“He was with me.”

“So we have a choice of getting ambushed at the bridge or ambushed at the kitchen.”

“And he’s good with those knives.” Alt-Geoff said, and quietly added “I don’t like our odds.”

Geoff tapped the revolver against his leg.

“We could always do it back to him.”

“What?”

“Ambush him. All we need is more patience and he’ll come to us.”

Alt-Geoff frowned. “But are we more patient than him?”

“My Jeremy? No, absolutely not. Your Jeremy? I think he gave up on doing things patiently after we figured him out. It’s this, or one of us gets stabbed.” Geoff’s eyes flicked to Alt-Geoff’s wrist. “Again.”

Alt-Geoff nodded. “All right. We’ll set up near the kitchen and wait him out.”

Not directly on the route between the kitchen and the bridge was a small alcove. It housed a fire hose and access to vital systems that kept the yacht running smoothly. Most importantly, it was designed to be unobtrusive. There was no reason for anyone to be aware of its existence except for the two Geoffs.

Alt-Geoff crouched down to wait, leaning against Geoff’s legs for support. He took his bowtie off and wrapped the fabric around his wrist, stopping the bleeding temporarily. Geoff stood silent and ready flush against the fire hose, revolver trained down the hallway.

They waited.

And then they waited some more.

Geoff rubbed some sweat off his forehead onto his shoulder. Alt-Geoff shifted slightly.

The smell of blood grew stronger, then stronger again.

Geoff glanced down at Alt-Geoff, but he didn’t react.

So if the smell wasn’t coming from Alt-Geoff-

Geoff stuck his head out down the other end of the corridor and fired.

“Ah, fuck!” Jeremy cried out. It was barely audible over the ringing in Geoff’s ears.

Gut shot. Jeremy’s legs gave out and he hit the floor. Geoff and Alt-Geoff cautiously came out of hiding.

Fresh blood poured out of the new wound and resoaked Jeremy’s front. Jeremy shifted a little and winced.

“That was a cheap shot,” Jeremy snapped at them, mad. “You fucking campers.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Geoff shot back, “you were gonna do the same to us any-”

A knife flashed through the air.

Geoff twisted and it spun past him, but Alt-Geoff was not as quick. The throwing knife embedded itself into the fleshy part of Alt-Geoff’s thigh.

Alt-Geoff slumped to the floor, groaning.

Geoff whipped around back to face Jeremy, but he was quite clearly already dead. His eyes were glassy, and his skin was slowly taking on that waxy appearance.

Geoff spotted the ruler knife in Jeremy’s hand. He kicked it away, just in case.

“Jesus fuck, that hurts.” Alt-Geoff gasped.

“You alright?” Geoff asked, crouching down next to him.

“I will be in a couple of minutes.” Alt-Geoff said. “Jeremy dead?”

“Yeah.”

Alt-Geoff breathed a long slow sigh.

Then he grinned suddenly, running his uninjured hand through his hair and chuckling quietly to himself.

“Now that was a wild one, wouldn’t you say?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“I need to buy Jeremy a drink, next time we’re in the city.”

Geoff blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll have to thank Gavin too for suggesting we do a round on the superyacht. This time was a little unfair because they don’t know the yacht as well as I do, but they’ll learn. I bet Gavin’s pissed he missed all the action, though.”

“...Gavin?”

“Yeah, he hates dying first. It’s not like it’s any different when he’s the murderer though. We can usually sniff him out pretty quick.” Alt-Geoff turned to Geoff with the smuggest look across his face.

“You’re looping.” Geoff said, understanding. “And you’ve turned it into a game? Some sort of murder game?”

“Once we get out of Zancudo we draw roles out of a hat to decide who’s the next murderer. Sometimes we mix it up and throw two murderers into the mix, but you were plenty of extra excitement this round.”

Geoff blinked again.

“You’re looping in Zancudo. Are you stuck? Do you need to know how to deal with the Corpirate and the device?”

Alt-Geoff threw him a condescending look.

“And end the fun? Give up on being immortal? No thanks.”

“And you’re looping with Jeremy instead of Ray?”

“Who the hell is Ray?”

Geoff shook his head. Would this have been his life if Jeremy had joined the Lads instead of Ray?

Gavin had died several hours ago and the rest of the crew remained. In Geoff’s own timeline, the reset time stretched after encountering the Corpirate in Arcadius. After several hundred resets it took about half an hour. Did that happen to this Alt-Geoff? How many resets would it take to stretch the time to several hours? Or days, or even longer?

“So what,” Geoff continued, “you’re just going to murder each other until the end of time?”

Alt-Geoff rolled his eyes. “Only until we get bored, duh. But we’ve only done this a few thousand times. So many things to do in Los Santos, and we’re gonna do them all.”

“And you knew I wasn’t the murderer.” Geoff said. “But you still made me go through the whole song and dance anyway, with my bag and my gun.”

“Yep. And we all had a great time, you were really something a little extra to distract us. I’ll remember this round for a long time.”

Alt-Geoff snatched the revolver out of Geoff’s hands, and turned it against his own skull.

“This has been fun, working with you and watching you puzzle it all out, but I have a crew that’s missing me that I need to get back to.”

“Wait-”

Alt-Geoff shot himself.

If Geoff hadn’t been looking for it, he would have missed the tiny flash of red light.

It took a couple of minutes for Geoff’s hearing to come back.

In the interim, Geoff searched the corpse for the keys, and let himself back on the bridge.

He collected his backpack and weapons from the table. The rest he left alone.

Then he went to the bar.

There was a little gin left in a bottle on the counter, light pink and strawberry flavoured. He made himself a gin and tonic and sat down, leaning most of his weight on the bar. Swirled the drink around, made sure it was evenly mixed. Retrieved a coaster from the seat next to him and slapped it down.

He raised the drink to his lips and stopped.

“I shouldn’t.”

The glass hovered an inch away from his mouth.

“I really shouldn’t.”

It wavered in the air, ice clinking, the smell strong enough to clear his nostrils.

Geoff sighed.

“Yeah, I was the good distraction.”

He took a long sip, poured the rest on the ground, then disappeared.

Chapter Text

Geoff glanced first at his wrist, and then at the clock in the corner of the computer screen.

Still an hour until the hypercube would let him leave. He had the exact timing down to a science.

Geoff blinked long and slow, and slumped his shoulders.

“So Geoff.” Gavin said again. “Geoff. Geoffrey.”

Geoff made a point of staring at the computer screen instead of Gavin.

“What.”

“So the whole meeting yourself thing,” Gavin said languidly, “you ever…?”

“...Did I ever fuck myself.” Geoff replied in a flat tone. Not the first Gavin to ask, and certainly not the last.

“Yep.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Do I need a reason? And give my phone back, would you?”

Gavin took a selfie from his position laying upside down over the back of the couch. His head rested next to Michael’s, his free arm leaning on Michael’s head. Michael didn’t look too happy about it, but he didn’t say anything, instead pausing his game and glaring at the phone screen.

His facade cracked when Gavin kissed his cheek and he smiled warmly at Gavin.

“You’d better not fill up his phone with selfies, Gav.” Michael warned.

“I’m not doing anything a bunch of other Gavins didn’t already do,” Gavin showed the screen again to Michael. “Look at the most recent photos. Must’ve been a wild party-”

Geoff plucked the phone from Gavin’s fingers and tucked it in his pocket.

“I said give it back.”

Geoff sat back down on the other couch and resumed working. Gavin pouted and draped himself over Geoff’s couch.

“But have you thought about it?”

“Have I-” Geoff ran a hand through his beard. “Yes, Gavin, I’ve thought about it. Happy?”

“So would you?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s an asshole. A miserable, stupid asshole who loves to ruin his own life.”

Michael snorted. “How long’d it take you to figure that out?”

“Zip it.”

“You’re not my boss.”

The front door opened and Lindsay, Trevor, and Alfredo walked in. They were each carrying a large box.

“I think not, Lindsay,” Trevor said, “the day you drive my Zentorno is the day I completely give up, just turn off, finally give in to the dark voices that tell me to destroy-”

“You’re so dramatic,” Lindsay cut him off, “I haven’t crashed anything this week-”

“And you say that like it’s an achievement!”

“You all crash just as much as me! It’s confirmation bias!”

“We don’t total our vehicles nearly as much as you! Scrapes are different!”

Alfredo nodded his head up at Geoff.

“Sup Geoff, nice beard. You grew that fast.”

Geoff pointed a finger down a hallway.

“Jack’s on the roof, gardening. Ask him to explain it all, I’m too busy right now.”

“...Righto, man.”

Trevor and Alfredo put their boxes down on the coffee table and left to find Jack, pushing and shoving each other down the hall.

Lindsay stacked her box on top of the other two and giggled when Michael shouted at her to move it.

“You’re blocking the TV!”

“It’s beer! Do you not want beer?”

“I want to finish this level first! And all those boxes better not be beer, you were supposed to pick up body armour.”

“The other two are body armour, Michael. But I never thought you’d be disappointed to see beer.” Lindsay gave Geoff a once-over. “Nice bracelet, Geoff.”

“Thanks. You sure you don’t want to find Jack and-”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay.”

Gavin rolled over the right way and stared down at Geoff’s screen.

“So what exactly are you working on, anyway?”

“I’m planning a new video explaining why I’m here.”

“Why?”

“Because things change. No-one needs to know about the alien helmet any more.”

“That’s the same one the Corpirate had, wasn’t it?”

“Could you let me work, please?” Geoff snapped.

“Do you want any help?”

“Do you want to fuck off?”

Michael paused his game again.

“Jesus, Geoff,” Michael said, every hint of humour stripped from his voice, “would it kill you to not be such a massive dick? What crawled up your ass and died?”

“You did, for one,” Geoff muttered.

Michael burst out into a dry laugh.

“I did? I died, huh. But you did the same Zancudo crawl we did. Why would that bother you?”

Geoff kneaded the skin over the bridge of his nose. “I’ve had a long, long day. Could we do this later?”

“Hey,” Michael shrugged, “You’re only here for a short time. I don’t blame Gavin for asking questions while he can. And you’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime, but you’re like-” Michael gestured around himself- “this. Mr Sad Sook. What gives?”

“Well, Michael,” Geoff started, heavy with sarcasm, “I watched me kill myself about two hours ago, after watching everyone else get murdered by a Fake that betrayed us all. So excuse me for not being my usual fabulous self.”

He’d explained himself, showered, ate. Turned down the offer of a drink by Alt-Geoff. The Fakes here were too relaxed, too comfortable. They got out of Zancudo with Jeremy and Lindsay and all, except Ray, and were still riding that high.

It put him on edge. He wasn’t completely calmed down after the events on his yacht.

If he was being honest, though, it was probably because he was envious of them.

“But why do you care?” Michael raised his voice back. “They’re not your Fakes. Why do you give a shit?”

“I am really, really trying not to.” Geoff glowered at his computer screen, taking care to enunciate each word. “I am. But can you look at me and tell me I’m not anything like your Geoff? Could you tell me if something happened to, say, a clone of Gavin, that’s not gonna make you think of him? Or of how completely unprepared you are for the day Gavin dies for real?”

Michael didn’t like his questions turned back on himself. Geoff heard couch fabric scrunching under Michael’s grip.

“Like I haven’t been worried about that since day fucking one! But we all dealt with that while in Zancudo. Why can’t you deal with this? Why are you out here making everyone else miserable?”

“Don’t you think I have a right to be miserable?”

It came out too petulant. Michael snorted and relaxed a little. 

Geoff redirected his glare from the screen to towards Michael.

“You’ve been miserable for however many fucking resets, Geoff.” Michael leaned back against the couch cushions and focused his gaze on the TV screen, clearly ready to move on. “Stop making it our problem and start solving your own problems, God.”

“Like you’re doing so well at that,” Geoff sneered, “how’s the search for the Inconvenience going, by the way? We killed ours, and you’re still running scared of yours.”

Geoff could have heard a pin drop in the living room.

It had been a number of years since Geoff had been the subject of Michael’s fury, and the difference between Michael angry and Michael angry was startling. The way Michael’s eyes shifted back to him made his stomach drop.

If Geoff were subjected to that look before Zancudo, he would have reached for his Glock. During, he would have consulted Jack for a solution. He didn’t know what to do about it now, except sit and take whatever Michael was about to dish out.

He didn’t have Jack with him now, and besides. He didn’t deserve to hide behind Jack, not after crossing that line so intentionally. What he said was designed to cut, to make Michael flinch, which he did.

Geoff deserved whatever was coming to him.

“You ruin everything around you,” Michael retorted, spit flying, and he stood. “All these other universes, I bet you make them worse. All the way back to the start. I bet your real crew’s happy you’re gone.”

Michael took a bold step forward but stopped.

“You were wrong, Geoff,” Michael said, the words slow as he forced them through his teeth. His clenched fists shook at his sides. “I can look right at you and not see anything like my Geoff.”

With that, Michael spun and kicked one of the boxes on the coffee table to the ground. Then he stormed away.

There was another brief moment of complete quiet before Lindsay and Gavin made themselves known. Geoff had forgotten they were still in the room.

“Just like old times,” Lindsay said before raising her eyebrows in a “yikes” fashion. “Feels like I’m back in Zancudo and nothing’s changed at all.” Her eyes narrowed at Geoff, and her tongue sharpened. “Like Arcadius, even.”

Lindsay picked the beer up and grabbed Gavin’s arm, directing him out of the room with her. Gavin didn’t give a parting remark, but he did give Geoff a long look like he was searching for something, and didn’t see it.

Once the living room was empty, Geoff closed the laptop and rested his elbows on the top, hands covering his face.

He wanted to bang his head repeatedly against a wall, but he was loathe to stand.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…”

He shouldn’t have said that to Michael. There shouldn’t have been an argument at all, especially not with those he was taking free food and housing from. Resources, Geoff suspected, in each case were only given to him because of the resemblance he bore to their own Geoff, no matter what story Geoff spun in order to stay. A resemblance that Michael said didn’t exist anymore.

And he was probably right.

If the next universe he visited, miraculously, was the one he wanted, his crew might not even recognise him. Moving his hands down, he inspected the patterns on his arms, wiggled his fingers. Not where they should be, in the way he wanted. And Geoff did mope around most universes feeling sorry for himself, taking out his frustrations on those around him.

Michael was definitely right.

Geoff checked his phone. An hour until he could leave. Which he should do, as soon as he’s able, but… he should apologise to Michael first. Give him a few minutes to cool off, and then make things right. Because it’s Michael. It wouldn’t be fair to leave him like this, no matter how much easier it would be on Geoff to do so. That wouldn’t be fair to Michael… and this Michael that was far too much like his own.

God, this whole thing would be so much easier if they weren’t like their alternate selves. But every universe, it was like getting slapped in the face. Geoff couldn’t keep leaving each of them in the lurch.

That wouldn’t be right.

Geoff reburied his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He would talk to Michael, then he would leave. And if there was still time until the hypercube recharged, he would wait for it somewhere else. The docks, maybe. Or better yet, somewhere he’d never been before. Somewhere he didn’t associate with his other Fakes.

But all that was for some time in the future. Maybe he needed a few moments too. Geoff took another shaky breath and dropped his forehead until it rested on the warm surface of the laptop.

Michael was exactly where Geoff expected him to be- his bedroom. Ever since they all moved into Geoff’s penthouse apartment together (and made some minor adjustments to the interior walls to accommodate the Lads) it had been his favourite place to cool off. That held true for this universe as well. Geoff knocked on the doorframe, gave Michael a chance to tell him to fuck off, and opened the door.

Michael’s room was covered in an even split between gaming memorabilia and weaponry, with no small overlap. There was a Master Sword hanging on two hooks over the TV, and a replica of That Gun from Fallout: New Vegas on his desk. The desk itself was strewn with the materials needed to make his signature explosives as well as various electrical tools. The middle of the room was dominated with a comfortable looking couch and a coffee table facing a widescreen TV.

Michael himself sat on one of the armrests of the couch, facing away from the door. A controller dangled from his hand, uncaring towards the display in front of him.

He acknowledged Geoff with a slight nod and resumed staring at his TV. It was paused, and he made no move to unpause it.

Geoff sat on the opposite armrest.

“Hey, uh,” Geoff started slowly, “I’m really sorry about what I said earlier.”

“Same.” Michael replied. “You’re under a lot of stress and I just… offloaded onto you.”

“Which implies you’re under a lot of stress too, at the moment.” Geoff swivelled to more properly face Michael. Geoff bounced his leg, an action designed to keep him moving, like he was trying to build the momentum to say something else. It must have worked.“Your universe with Jeremy and Lindsay joining you in Zancudo is pretty different from mine, but there’s a chance our Inconveniences could share the same hideout.”

“You think?”

“Ours was at a place called La Fuente Blanca. The White Horse, or something. I know there’s a few years difference between when I knew he was there and now, but there’s a chance.”

Geoff shifted his weight a little.

“It would have been… dickish of me, to keep that info to myself. Even if he isn’t there still. I didn’t say anything while we were going over how I got here because, well, I was trying not to give a shit.” Geoff said. “Because when something happens to one of you, I think it’ll make it hurt less.”

Michael looked at him. “Does it work?”

“It just makes me miserable.”

“It was easier, then, in Zancudo,” Michael picked up the conversation in the stilted manner of someone who hadn’t worked out what they were going to say at all. “After someone died, it was quick to get reassurance from them in the next reset. Or from any other Fake. But if you push everyone away…”

“It all just comes out in different ways.” Geoff finished. “And you end up with no one to talk to.”

“Does your crew have rules?” Michael asked abruptly.

“Rules?”

“Yeah. Like, for example, a rule one?”

“That’s not-”

“A rule one, which goes something like, if it pertains to the group, fucking speak up about it?”

“This is different,” Geoff protested, “my Fakes are four hundred universes away-”

“Geoff.” Michael fixed him with a stern look. “Surely at some point you came across some Fakes you could talk to.”

Geoff looked away, swallowed. “Yeah.” He brightened. “But don’t call me Shirley.”

“Don’t make me punch you.”

“Try me. Your Geoff couldn’t take you but I certainly could.”

Michael scrunched his nose up at Geoff. “Wow, you’re funny. How did I never notice how funny you are?”

Geoff rolled his eyes before sobering. “But in all seriousness, I’ll make a real effort to, you know. Talk about things in the future. Because you're right. And as much as I’m able, I’ll stop being such a sad and grumpy old man. I’ve taken a lot of my frustration on you and people like you, and that wasn’t right. Not because you remind me of my Fakes, but because it’s a dick move. My least favourite kind of dick move, if you know what I mean.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael said fondly, and hugged him.

Michael was warm and solid, and the top of his head tickled against Geoff’s nose. His hair smelled like motor oil and very faintly of almonds. Michael hugged like he was never going to let go, and it was easy to relax into the embrace.

For the first time, Geoff was reminded of home and it didn’t hurt.

There was just as good a one here as anywhere else. And… he didn’t want to leave it just yet. Maybe he could stick around for a couple of days, help them sort out their Inconvenience. He had a wealth of knowledge about alien technology and a few possible futures.

He wanted to help . Surely he could still do that, instead of moping around for exactly 163 minutes and leaving. And he wanted to talk to Michael more. Really talk. This little intermission really only scratched the surface. Geoff needed someone to talk to, and if Michael was willing…

“Maybe I could stay a few more days than I originally thought,” Geoff said, leaving the thought open ended.

“Could you help us out with the Inconvenience?” Michael sounded younger, and more relaxed than Geoff remembered him usually.

“Anything I can. And even if he’s not at La Fuente Blanca, it’s a place to start.”

“Mmmm. Thank you.”

Michael tightened his grip around Geoff. Geoff leaned his forehead further forwards until it rested on Michael’s shoulder. Michael sighed and murmured into his ear.

“Furthest we got is that box from the Mile High Skyscraper. The one lined with alien metal. Did you ever learn anything about it?”

“Uhhh… Christ, that whole shebang was a long time ago. Not really, but it does give Jack the idea to track- hey, did your Fakes bring down Arcadius after you beat the Corpirate?”

Michael shook his head.

“Lindsay convinced me not to.”

“Sweet. The Corpirate has a device that tracks alien tech. Only if it’s in good nick though. You get that, you get the location of the Inconvenience, the Prince, and his band of merry assholes.”

Michael rocked them slowly. “The Prince? You mean that foreign royal guy who’s visiting? What’s he got to do with any of this?”

Geoff untangled himself from Michael’s grip.

“He’s here? In Los Santos? And he hasn’t attacked you?”

“No? Why would he?”

“He’s the guy that put out the Zancudo job. He hasn’t… done anything?”

“I don’t follow the fucking news. Maybe he opened a building, or something. What does royalty even do, nowadays?”

“I dunno.” Geoff replied. “Hmm… but if he’s been here for two weeks and hasn’t made a move… I suppose since he doesn’t have Jeremy in this universe-”

Michael put a finger to Geoff’s lips, and he shut up.

“Shut up about the Prince and other universes for a second.” Michael said. “Can we go back to the alien tech tracker? We’ll deal with the Inconvenience first and then worry about the rest of it.”

“We might not get a choice.” Geoff cautioned. “But the tracker, it’s just a little box. You have a helmet, right?”

“Uhhh, I have a laser cannon?”

Geoff sighed.

“Do you have a Gus?”

“Yeah, but Gavin really knows the most about the alien tech. He and Ryan love messing with the weirder shit we stole.”

Michael sat back against the couch cushion.

“Oi Gavvy! Come here, we need your help with something!”

A moment later Gavin’s head appeared around the doorframe.

“What?”

“We’re messing with alien tech again. You want in?”

Gavin nodded. “If you’ve made up, of course. Come on, I’ll show you my favourites in the storeroom.”

“Oh no no no,” Geoff protested, “I’m not going near any tech if I can help it. That’s how I got this.”

Geoff his arm to show off the hypercube. It glowed softly, still recharging.

“Well I’ve fiddled with every bit of tech we’ve come across and I haven’t gone to any other universes.” Gavin countered. “After Zancudo, of course.”

“Do you have a box like this?” Geoff described the tech and Gavin nodded.

“Yeah I’ve seen that somewhere. Be sweet if we could track alien tech, I’d make everyone carry some on them. Never have to worry about another kidnapping.”

“God,” Geoff said, “It’s been a while since we had a good kidnapping. The last few attempts were garbage.”

“Slip a piece of tech in the police commissioner’s pocket,” Gavin thought aloud, “know where he is all the time. Bet we could do something fun with that.”

“It doesn’t work on pieces,” Geoff replied, “only undamaged tech. Wavelength thing, broccoli. I don’t fucking remember.”

Gavin pouted, then brightened.

“You mean De Broglie? Gus has brought him up before! Can’t you just tell it that a piece or whatever is a whole thing?”

“What?”

“It’s a wavelength thing, right,” Gavin looked to Michael uselessly for confirmation before ploughing on, “so tell the box to use the new wavelength.”

Now that was a novel idea, and potentially a game changer. If he could input new bits of alien tech for the tracker to track, no Fake would ever have to worry about a surprise attack by alien technology again.

“Can I do that? Would I need a helmet?”

Gavin shrugged. “Only one way to find out, right? Does it even need to be alien tech? What else can we track? Everything has the wavelength, Gus said. Why couldn’t we track whatever we wanted?” Gavin poked Michael’s arm, excitement written all over his face. “You remember the binoculars-looking thing? With the symbol that looks like a bellend?”

“The info-dump machine?”

“Yeah. That should sort the tracker out, shouldn’t it?”

Alt-Geoff stuck his head through the open doorway.

“We have a problem. I’m told there was gunfire in our building’s lobby.”

“Shit,” Michael said, getting to his feet, “we know who it is?”

“Jack thinks Colmillo Blanco. Come on, get your gear on.”

Alt-Geoff disappeared from the doorway and Geoff heard him call out to others further down the hallway.

“Doesn’t make sense,” Michael said mostly to himself, picking up a bomb off his desk. “We’re pretty much friendly with Colmillo Blanco. Why start shit now?”

“Colmillo Blanco’s here?” Geoff asked.

“Seems so. Gav, take this.” Michael tossed him a gun. Gavin caught it and tucked it in his belt.

“Body armour?”

Michael hmmed . “Better safe than sorry. Grab the new stuff on the coffee table. Then go find our Geoff, okay?”

Gavin nodded. “Got it.”

Geoff grabbed Michael’s arm.

“It’s not just gonna be Colmillo Blanco,” Geoff said staidly, “it’s gonna be Prince James as well.”

“You sure about that?” Michael asked, grabbing some armour from his wardrobe.

“I am, because Prince James is in the city right now! He ordered the hit on Zancudo! And he attacked my Los Santos afterwards!”

“You didn’t say anything about this when you first dropped into this universe.”

“I don’t have the time or the energy to do so in every goddamn universe.” Geoff snapped back. “But I would have said something sooner if I knew he was in Los Santos at this very moment.”

Footsteps in the hallway. Lindsay ducked her head in.

“Oi chucklefucks, there’s a hell of a lot of Colmillo Blanco in the lower levels.” Lindsay told them. “Scumbags at some of our other safehouses too. Matt’s gonna come pick up Trevor, Alfredo, and me. Will you be alright here?”

Michael inclined his head at her. “We’ll batten down the hatches here. Seems like it might be more than Colmillo Blanco.”

“Stay safe. I’ll defend the rest of our fucking territory, then.”

Geoff gave a pointed look towards Michael.

“We have to talk to your Geoff and tell him to get everyone the hell out of here,” Geoff explained. “Because if Prince James sends any of his ED-Garde, we’ll be toast.”

Michael opened a desk drawer and pulled out two grenades. “Our Geoff’ll want to defend our home no matter what comes, and I can’t say I blame him. Come on, wouldn’t you do the same?”

“I would if it wasn’t Prince James.”

“No, come on,” Michael grabbed Geoff's arm and pushed him out through the doorway. “We’ll find Geoff, tell him about Prince James, and you can tell us how to properly defend our penthouse. Got it?”

“It won’t work,” Geoff argued. “It’s his Ed-Garde .”

“Aaand that means nothing to me,” Michael said back. “Come on. We’ll find Geoff and the seven of us will deal with it, right?”

“Fucking-” Ryan pulled Gavin away from the hallway- “Jesus, did Zancudo teach you nothing?”

Gavin winked at him, bullets carving gouges into the wall behind him. “Taught me you’d be there.”

“If you make my job any harder on purpose I swear to God-“

“Shut the fuck up!” Jeremy shouted. “Grenade!”

The seven of them obediently ducked and covered their eyes. The grenade exploded, darkening the walls with ash but little else.

The walls this high up were designed to last against fire and impacts a little stronger than this. A single grenade improperly thrown wasn’t going to do much. But a shrapnel grenade, at the right time, wasn’t concerned with tearing through walls. People, it could do a hell of a lot better.

Jeremy must have had the same thought because his own grenade arced across the ceiling and landed near the Colmillo Blanco gang members. The seven of them were rewarded with the sound of pained shouts from that direction.

“See how you like it!”

“Fucking finish the job, then, J,” Michael shouted back, grinning all the way. “If you can hear screaming you aren’t done yet. Geoff, where’d you hire this clown?”

Geoff opened his mouth but Alt-Geoff cut him off. “Same place you hired him, dipshit.” Alt-Geoff shot through the wall and the Colmillo Blanco members shouted and scattered. “In the middle of a heist he was fucking up the middle of. Christ, would it kill any of you to finally get your act together? I’m not getting any younger over here.”

A group of Colmillo Blanco members tried to rush the corner and promptly exploded when Michael’s explosives made themselves known.

“Fish in a barrel,” Ryan muttered close to Jack’s ear, a pistol in hand, “Like they’d try us here , of all places.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Jack pressed some C-4 into his hand, for later, and Ryan stowed it somewhere hidden.

Ryan shot him a long, sly glance.

“Oh, I can show you cocky-“

Jack jabbed him in the ribs and Ryan flinched, glaring at him for a moment before turning back towards the firefight.

”Jesus fuck,” Jack swore for the entire group, “you’re just as bad as Gavin, you know that right?”

“If I was as bad as Gavin I’d be shot dead in the hallway by now.”

Geoff, at the back of the group, raised the x-ray glasses to his eyes and frowned, willing away the nausea.

“This level’s clear,” he told them, “they’re setting up a blockade on the next level down.”

“They really don’t want us to leave,” Ryan thought aloud.

Michael pointed at the elevator.

“Could chuck a grenade or two down the shaft. If I time it right it might take out the whole blockade.”

Jack shook his head. “Do you want to destroy our only elevator and have to walk up all these stairs for months? No thanks. The fire stairs aren’t that far, maybe we could split up and deal with the blockade from two approaches.”

Geoff lowered the x-ray glasses. “Or, we could take the stairs all the way to the garage and get the fuck out of here.”

Alt-Geoff approached him. He draped his arm over Geoff’s shoulder and Geoff raised an eyebrow at him.

“Geoff,” Alt-Geoff began slowly, “you have to understand. I fucking live here. Nobody’s going to take my goddamn penthouse from me if I can help it.”

“It’s my penthouse,” Jack muttered.

“Zip it. Geoff, I know you haven’t had a home in a while and you’re used to running away-“

“Oh you can fuck right off.” Geoff turned away from Alt-Geoff and put the x-ray glasses back on. Aiming through the floor, Geoff shot two Colmillio Blanco members and they hit the floor of the corridor below. 

Floors, typically, were not bulletproof. It was something Geoff was glad to take advantage of again and again.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, they’ve blocked the fire stairs by us.” Geoff said with a sigh. His eyes darted across the floor, carefully skipping around the legs of Alt-Geoff’s crew. “The only way out now is the fire stairs on the other side-“

Geoff cut off.

“Shit. One of the Prince’s Ed-Garde is climbing them.”

“Just one?” Michael asked, at the same time Gavin said “Are you sure?”

“Dunno anyone else ballsy enough to approach us alone. It’s gotta be one of them. Can’t tell which one it is yet.”

“So Prince James only sent one dude,” Jeremy said, “come on, we can take one guy. The six of us and a spare Geoff?”

“Hey,” Geoff cautioned, “just listen for a sec. These guys are dangerous, even a single one.”

The lone Ed-Garde finished his climb the floor below, where Colmillo Blanco built their blockade. He effortlessly wove around piled furniture and hurried gang members, picking up bits and pieces of weaponry here and there.

Geoff could see his heartbeat with the x-ray glasses. It was steady and patient.

Which Ed-Garde member was he? Not the guy with the fast boots, or the one who could go through walls, that was apparent. The closest match was the invisible guy, but that didn’t seem right either.

Despite Geoff checking off each member of the ED-Garde in his head and dismissing them, the movements of the lone ED-Garde still seemed familiar, but Geoff couldn’t place him.

“We can take him,” Michael declared, and the others nodded along with him. Alt-Geoff prepared them to defend their corridor.

“As soon as he rears his ugly head,” Alt-Geoff told them, “we pump two hundred bullets into his ass. Everyone capiche?”

“I do not fucking capiche,” Geoff swore, and hunkered down next to Gavin and Michael. He whispered under his breath. “How the hell did Jeremy put up with this for eight million resets.”

“Too fucking bad,” Alt-Geoff retorted, “get ready.”

They could hear his footsteps echo on the cheap laminate. Geoff slid the x-ray glasses to the top of his head and aimed his Glock down the hall.

A grenade bounced around the corner.

“Flashbang!” Jack shouted, and it exploded.

There would have been enough time for most of them to look away, but there were still a few seconds of panic while the afterimages bled away. Geoff fired blindly down the hall and heard plastic shattering, like a light fixture, and he stopped.

By the time he could see properly, the lone ED-Garde was upon them.

The man in the orange-striped jacket ducked under Michael’s arm and elbowed him in the solar plexus. Michael gasped and fell, tripping over Gavin and they both went down. The man lunged out of the path of Alt-Geoff’s spray of bullets and slid past Ryan, shoving him into the wall. Within the next second he had a knife to Jack’s throat and the speed and exertion of the last few moments halted as everyone froze.

The entire exchange took three seconds.

“Oh look,” The ED-Garde member said in a conversational tone, “a second Ramsey. My lucky day.”

Geoff figured out who the man in orange reminded him of.

“Jeremy,” he breathed, “you’re Jeremy.”

The man scrunched his nose up at Geoff. “Mmm… no. You can call me… Felix.”

It wasn’t actually Jeremy. Jeremy was standing five feet to Geoff’s left. But this ED-Garde member had the same look about him when Geoff first met Jeremy, the same suave and lazy attitude towards the Fakes, the same familiarity with them that wasn’t reciprocated. It turned Geoff’s stomach.

“That’s not your name,” Jack grunted out, and Felix twisted the knife slightly into his neck. Blood gushed from the wound.

“Of course not. But you can call me that anyway.”

“Don’t kill him, okay?” Alt-Geoff brought Felix’s attention to him. “We’ll surrender, we’ll do what we gotta do. But don’t kill him.”

Felix cocked his head.

“God, that’s so boring though. I have a better idea.”

The knife was away from Jack’s neck and buried in Ryan’s faster than Geoff could see. A gun went off and Jack collapsed, blood spurting from a hole in his back. The remaining Fakes cried out in shock.

Felix lunged forward, in between all of them, far too close to shoot without injuring anyone else. He fired two more shots from a small pistol hidden in his hand and Alt-Geoff grunted, a wound in his neck in just the wrong spot where his body armour didn’t cover him. A one-in-a-million shot.

Geoff grabbed Gavin and shoved him backwards, behind him.

“We can’t fight him,” Geoff stressed, pushing Gavin away, “go, run! Go!”

“But- Geoff! Jack!”

Michael appeared next to them, heavily bleeding. He shared a look with Geoff, held it as long as he could while Felix’s attention was distracted by Jeremy. Then those brown eyes ripped away and Michael planted himself securely between Felix and Gavin.

“Do it, Gavin.” Michael said calmly. “Geoff- keep him safe.”

“Michael!”

Geoff hauled on Gavin’s arm and that was enough to get them going.

Geoff and Gavin rounded a corner and they didn’t look back.

“Up,” Geoff instructed, “all the way up. We need a place to hide.”

“Up?!” Gavin cried out, “We need to go down, we need to get out of here-“

“Colmillo Blanco’s blocking the elevator and Felix is between us and the stairs,” Geoff said, breathing deep and steady. It had been a while since he had last run like this, but not too long. A plan was forming in his mind.

His hand brushed against his hairline and he cursed. The x-ray glasses must have fallen somewhere behind him.

The plan fell apart.

“Geoff he’s going to find us-“

“No he won’t,” Geoff checked his watch. Five minutes until the hypercube would be fully powered. If Felix had the x-ray glasses, there was nowhere they could hide.

But they could run for that long, surely.

A new plan grew.

“The roof. Come on, we can go up the stairs near Colmillo Blanco.”

“Why the roof ?”

“Stop, shut up a second.”

They stopped running.

Silence on the laminate.

Gavin sucked in a lungful of air, trying to keep it down so Geoff could listen.

Someone screamed a fair distance away. It was easier if Geoff pretended he couldn’t tell who it belonged to.

“That’s away from the stairs. Come on, go, go,”

They sprinted once more.

Quieting down to avoid the notice of Colmillo Blanco, they climbed back up to the top floor. Gavin let them back in the penthouse and they locked and barricaded the door.

Two minutes left.

“Geoff, who was that? Do you know who he is?” Gavin asked, short of breath. They climbed the last stairs up onto the roof and locked that door too.

“No, I don’t. But I know what he’s going through, and if he gets close he’ll kill us. He’s killed you and the other Fakes probably dozens of times at this point.”

“He’s what ?”

“Felix is stuck in his own time loop, courtesy of a device Prince James has. And I know because it’s what my Jeremy was stuck doing in my universe.”

“Then, then…” Gavin spluttered, struggling to find words. “Why are we up here? What can we do?”

Geoff held out the hypercube. It glowed, almost pulsing with light.

“In a minute, I can change universes again. You stay close and I’m pretty sure you can come with me.”

“Pretty sure?”

“One hundred per cent pretty sure.”

“And leave my crew here? Just leave them when they need me most?” Gavin took a hesitant step away from Geoff.

“Gavin, you have to listen to me. There’s nothing else you can do for them. You cannot beat Felix by yourself, or even with me. This is the only way you’ll live, okay?”

Slowly, Gavin nodded. Geoff held out his hand again and Gavin took it, the light of the hypercube casting a strong violet colour over their skin.

“How long left?”

“Thirty seconds.” Geoff replied, eyes glued to his watch.

The roof access door exploded outward. Geoff and Gavin stumbled, shards of metal dancing on the concrete by their feet.

Felix strode towards them. He had a long gash down his arm and the side of his face, but he walked towards them with a cocky smile and a gun in his hand.

Geoff and Gavin backed towards the edge of the roof.

Twenty seconds left.

“Prince James is lying to you, Felix,” Geoff shouted over the wind. He had to buy some time. “Doing this, it won’t make him love you.”

Felix slowed his walk.

“The fuck are you talking about? I’m doing this for money.”

The edge of the roof was right behind them. There was no place left to run.

Ten seconds.

“Don’t you even want to know why there are two of me?” Geoff tried again.

Felix laughed. “ Was , you mean.”

Out of time. Felix raised his pistol and fired.

Geoff jumped off the roof and pulled Gavin after him.

Geoff knew logically the planet was spinning around a distant Sun, which itself was spinning around a distant galactic centre. Geoff had changed universes while running and while driving a car and none of the momentum had carried over with him. This plummet, the same rules should apply here.

But he couldn’t help but desperately hope, while clutching Gavin’s hand in a vice grip, that he wouldn’t turn to paste on some distant rug in some different penthouse apartment.

Maybe he wouldn’t get that lucky. After all, the footpath below was accelerating towards him.

He looked up and met Gavin’s eyes hovering above his own. Geoff reached out with his free hand towards the hypercube.

There was an explosion above him and shards of metal rained down around him, a few pieces slicing his legs open.

He spun the hypercube. The ground was mere inches away. The universe faded away in a trillion tiny strings.

It was cyan, between universes, for what felt like eternity. A forever of twisting, and turning, and tugging, directionless, and then it ended.

The new universe materialised.

Geoff gasped in pain, his legs on fire and a heavy weight on his chest. He struggled to lift it off him without moving his lower half too much.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“We did it!” A voice outside of Geoff’s vision shouted. It sounded like Jeremy.

“We didn’t even turn the machine on, dingus,” What was clearly Ryan’s voice answered.

“So what the fuck do you think this is, then? A massive coincidence?”

“Dipshits,” Alt-Geoff shouted, “one of you get Doctor Pattillo, would you?”

Geoff heaved, and the dead weight slid off his chest.

“Sorry, sorry everyone, I just…” Geoff trailed off, staring at the weight.

Gavin’s eyes held his for the briefest of seconds before staring off at something Geoff couldn’t. Blood gushed out of him. His whole torso was torn to shreds, pieces of metal embedded into his shredded flesh.

He was dead.

A sharp pain cut into Geoff’s hand, and he raised it to his face to inspect it. A piece of metal had stuck itself into his hand.

Shrapnel grenade. Gavin had absorbed most of the blast.

“Shit.” Geoff said, and fainted.

Chapter Text

The room Geoff occupied was an eclectic mix of homey keepsakes and clinical doctor’s office. He sat fidgeting while Jack gave one last look at his legs and then consulted a screen.

“How’s it look?”

“Hmm…” Jack checked some things off the screen. “Your left leg healed up nicely with just some superficial scarring. Your right leg suffered some serious tissue damage and a complex fracture. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to walk without a limp. I’m sorry, there’s nothing more I can do.”

Geoff shot him an incredulous look.

“My… left leg’s healed up? It’s been like two hours.”

“That’s as fast as we could do it. Not as fast as what you get on the mainland, but Los Santos has always been a bit behind that way.”

His left leg looked fine. His right leg had silvery paths criss-crossed slashed across it top to bottom, but they looked years old. He flexed his right foot and a white hot pain flared up from his toes all the way up his side.

But it was moveable. He wasn’t bleeding out anymore, and if Jack was right, he’d still have some mobility in it. It was excellent news, and more than he deserved.

If only he hadn’t been the only lucky one.

Jack must have seen some of the pain cross his face because he winced in sympathy.

“I would stay off your feet for another… fifteen minutes or so.” Jack said.

“Fifteen minutes?!”

“These things take time.”

It was on the tip of his tongue, to explain what about Jack’s statements were so unbelievable. But he got the impression if he kept acting so surprised about it, they would start withholding information.

Even so, he couldn’t help but look around and marvel at the technology. Not just the medical equipment, but the host of tech outside this office, where he first appeared. In the bigger space next door was a laboratory of equipment the scientists at Zancudo would have sold their souls for. Geoff didn’t know what any of it did, of course, but his Fakes, if they wandered past, looked very comfortable around it all. The style was foreign enough to not fit into any time period Geoff was familiar with. What was beyond contemporary? Something to do with a lot of spirals, it seemed.

Whatever. It was cool.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be complaining,” Geoff apologised, “you’ve done incredible work, Doctor Pattillo .”

“Why do you keep saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“ Doctooooor Pattilloooo. ”

“I’m not saying it like that.”

“Yes you are, and I don’t understand why.” Jack lowered his voice, glancing out the window from his office to see if the others were looking in. “Is it… am I not a doctor in your universe?”

His crew working here was pretty quick on the uptake, and accepted Geoff’s quick and garbled explanation without question. Then again, the evidence was right in front of their eyes and this universe seemed friendlier than most. The Fakes weren’t a criminal crew here.

“You’ve saved my life in more ways than you could imagine. But yes, some of those ways involved stopping blood loss.”

Jack seemed satisfied with that answer.

“Well. If you’re ready to go back out there again, I know Ryan has a bunch of questions for you.”

“ Doctor Haywood .”

“Yes. He has a Doctorate. We’ve been over this.”

“Sorry again. I’m sorry, it’s just fucking funny to me. Ryan, a nerdy, lab coat wearing scientist .”

Jack sighed.

“I don’t think the painkillers have quite worn off yet.”

“Sure, let’s go with that.”

“Okay, I am now making you Ryan’s problem.” Jack tapped at something attached to his wrist and murmured too low for Geoff to hear. The dinky office door opened and the chair Geoff sat in moved forward without his say so.

“Jesus-“

He didn’t have to push himself around? This universe was the best one he’d been to so far.

And everyone was a goddamn nerd .

And the chair was, according to Doctor Pattillo , taking Geoff to Doctor Haywood . Geoff settled in for the ride.

It was a disappointingly short minute later when the chair stopped at another desk, but this one was in front of a huge machine. A pipe extended through it, very similar to the one Geoff knew used to run through the depths of Zancudo. A particle accelerator.

Geoff shivered.

“Oh, Mr Ramsey!” Ryan called out. He swivelled around in his chair and smiled at Geoff. He wasn’t wearing a labcoat, nor did he look too different from the Ryan from his own universe. The main difference were the glasses perched atop his nose, which Geoff’s Ryan wore only on a rare occasion.

“Sup.”

“I’m Doctor Haywood and I-“

“Yeah, Ryan Haywood. James. I know you.” Geoff couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his features. Jack must’ve been right. The painkillers were not out of his system. “Inside and out.”

“You’ve met an alternative version of me?”

“Oh, met’s a strong word.”

“No wait, wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. Can I ask you a couple of questions about you and where you came from?”

“Sure. When a mommy and a daddy-“

“Oh ha ha. I see you’re very similar to the Geoff Ramsey in this universe. Ugh, I’m getting ahead of myself again. So. You are from a different universe, am I right? That wasn’t a blood loss induced hallucination?”

Geoff nodded. “No, it’s true. You’ve taken the news remarkably well, I have to say. Better than most.”

“Why- nope, not yet. We’ll come back to that.” Ryan skidded right on up next to Geoff. “You came from another universe. How ?”

“This thingy.” Geoff held out his arm. “I don’t understand how it works at all. Just wait until it’s fully charged and then-” Geoff spun the hypercube. Nothing happened. “Boom. Next universe.”

“It’s a Tesseract,” Ryan breathed.

“No, it’s a hypercube.”

“They’re the same thing.” Ryan took his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt. “You really don’t know how it works, do you. Can I help you find out? Do you know what this place is?”

Geoff leaned back in his chair. “Jack said you did research?”

Ryan sat up straight. “I am the head researcher at the Fink Research Institute of Complex Knowledge, specifically the division that studies the existence of other universes.”

Geoff blinked at him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What? Why? Other Universe discussion has been ongoing for decades…”

Ryan prattled on but Geoff turned him out. No wonder the hypercube took so long sending him here. Did he need medical attention so badly the hypercube had to send him to some distant, improbable universe? Even one where he could end up learning more about his situation than the hypercube probably wanted?

If so, that meant whoever controlled the hypercube wanted him alive for something. And if it wasn’t the aliens getting him to Mount Gordo, what was it?

“…which we called Schrödinger’s Gavin and was thankfully pretty easy to deal with, actually. Private company, not a lot of government oversight.”

“Schrödinger’s Gavin?”

“Yeah, that’s what we called the uh, Gavin you brought with you.”

“What did you do with Gavin’s corpse?”

“We took some samples and then incinerated the rest of the remains.” Ryan explained. “They were making Doctor Free uncomfortable.”

“Okay, there’s a lot to unpack there. You just incinerated a body? Illegally, even though you’re all goody-two-shoe scientist? Doctor Free ?”

“What else did you expect us to do with it?” Ryan retorted. “Gavin wanted it gone, and I sure don’t want the disaster it’d be if law enforcement found him. It wasn’t ideal, but it’s my top priority to keep this facility running and my team safe. Especially from legal repercussions.”

Geoff wanted to say something about the whole “taking samples” thing but he really wasn’t one to judge, not when he had done his own share of grave robbing.

“You would like the Ryan from my universe.” Geoff said. “You both take “I’d help you bury a body” very literally.”

Ryan looked uneasy. “I don’t think I want to ask as many questions now. Okay, I’m getting distracted again. How long are you spending in this universe?”

Geoff shrugged. If this universe had answers for him, he’d stay as long as he needed. Or at the very least, until he was sure his legs would be fine.

“Dunno. Couple of days?”

“Great. My plan right now is to keep all this on the down low until we get some data from you and I give it to my boss.”

Geoff sat up straight in his chair. “And how exactly are you getting data?”

Ryan raised his hands in a placating manner. “Nothing invasive, we’re not going to tie you down to a table or anything,” he gave an awkward chuckle, “you’re free to leave whenever you want, of course. But I’d really appreciate it if you could answer some of my questions before you do.”

“I can agree to that.”

Ryan’s eyes lit up. Excitement was practically pouring out of him.

“But you have to answer my number one question,” Geoff said. “Gavin’s a doctor here too?”

“He’s our top mathematician. Completely ungrounded in reality, but the best ones tend to be like that. Hey, if you’re going to stay a while, I can take you on a tour of the lab and you can meet everyone. Can you walk yet?”

“Uhh…”

Geoff flexed his right foot. It hurt, but not like it did before. Slowly, Geoff stood, and only some mild stiffness and background throbbing followed him up. There were far, far worse pains out there. This was manageable.

“Yeah, I’ll manage. Lead the way… Doctor .”

“Please, call me Ryan. Only my colleagues call me Doctor Haywood, and that’s only on formal occasions.”

“Okay Ryan. Ry-bread, Ryan the-”

“Are you going to be okay for the tour?”

“Yeah, I’m done now.”

They walked into the main lab space and under the particle accelerator tube. Michael tapped away at an indecipherable display near something that must have been a control console – the number of dials, buttons, and red painted levers was intimidating. Michael handled it all with ease.

“That’s Doctor Jones,” Ryan explained, “our chief electrical engineer. You name it, he can build it. He’s built most of the custom tech we use here.”

Michael inclined his head in Geoff’s direction. “Hey, I’m Michael, nice to meet you. Are you really from another universe?”

“Hi, yep.”

“Cool. Ryan, we’re ready to give the test another go whenever you’re ready. Everything else is correctly powered down.”

“Oh, thank you. We’ll probably start up again tomorrow. With this new Geoff, my schedule’s changed a bit.”

Michael flicked a lazy salute and resumed looking at his screen.

Ryan pointed up towards the pipe.

“This is the latest model of particle accelerator, freshly imported from Europe. With a few of Michael’s specifications too, of course. How familiar are you with, uh-“

Geoff waved him on. “Keep it simple.”

“We smash particles together here at speeds close to the speed of light. If the result differs from our predictions, we know new and exciting things are at play. In fact, this model’s predecessor proved that there were extra dimensions lurking within our own. It’s the reason this division exists at all.”

“Yeah, other dimensions can be fucking difficult to deal with. Nothing but trouble on my end, but if you found a way to make them work, more power to you.”

“…Are you joking, or…?”

“I wish I was joking. Other dimensions blow. Looking at them makes your eyes fall out, or something.”

“You’ve seen other dimensions?”

“Well I still have eyes, don’t I. We’ll get to me at the end of the tour. What’s next?”

They walked down a corridor past a series of smaller rooms, some of them with warning stickers pasted over the glass windows. Eye or radiation protection needed. The end of the corridor opened out into a more stereotypical lab space, with sinks and glass jars and big whiteboards lining the walls. Sitting on a bench was Geoff’s backpack, which he quickly retrieved. The other thing of note in the room was Gavin, who stared at Geoff with wide eyes.

“Hey,” Geoff began, “hope I didn’t scare you too bad earlier.”

Gavin blinked, and regained his senses.

“Ah, just a bit of shock. It’s not every day you see your own corpse.”

God, Geoff wished. He wanted to say to him you got used to it, or you could become numb to anything after a while, but it was probably best not to freak him out any further.

Gavin tucked a whiteboard marker in his pocket and extended a hand for Geoff to shake.

“Gavin,” Gavin introduced himself, “but I suppose you already knew that. And I know you’re Mr Ramsey.”

“Geoff is fine.”

“What was the other Gavin like?”

“Eh, I only knew him a couple of hours. But I think he was the same as all the other Gavins I’ve met: clever, quick on his feet, and an absolute bastard.”

Gavin’s eyes widened.

“Exactly how many universes have you been to?”

“Lost count. Four hundred and something.”

“Christ alive.”

Gavin and Ryan shared a look.

“Can you stay here forever?” Gavin pleaded. “You have to tell me everything .”

“We’re going to talk after the tour,” Ryan cut in, “and I figured you’d want in. And that Geoff would probably want his stuff back. Though, Geoff, I would recommend keeping the gun in your bag. We can get away with a lot here, probably too much, but there’s also a lot of volatile stuff sitting around. Please be careful.”

Geoff considered this, twisting some beard hairs around his fingers.

“And I’m safe here? You don’t have any enemies that might unexpectedly knock on your door? Evil scientists around? Corporate entities trying to edge in on your research?”

Ryan and Gavin looked confused.

“No? Should we?” Gavin said.

“No, we don’t have any enemies like that that I can think of.” Ryan said. “We research. We argue a lot, make wild speculations. We don’t shoot guns or what, steal cars and fight gangs.”

“Is that what you do?” Gavin asked. “Is that why you have the body armour and all the ammunition? The weird tattoos? What about the other Gavin?”

“End of the tour,” Geoff said firmly, “I’ll answer your questions, you answer mine. And uh, no gun, no shoot. I’m not here to cause trouble for you all.”

“Jeremy’s next,” Ryan said, “he’s down the next corridor.”

Ryan was right; Jeremy was down the next corridor. One side was one long room, and that was where Jeremy sat. His attention was absorbed by the screens in front of him, huge high definition displays with rows of numbers and charts. The rest of the room was filled with machines of all sorts.

Geoff wrinkled his nose. The room smelled a little of oil, but mostly of sweat and metal.

“And here’s Doctor Dooley,” Ryan explained while Gavin ran up to him and pulled a lever on his office chair, causing the whole thing to drop and Jeremy to startle. “He’s our new Analyst, taking all our data and turning it into something useful.”

“New?” Jeremy said, grabbing at Gavin and managing to get a hold of his ankle. “I’ve been here for three years!”

“That’s three years fewer than the rest of us,” Ryan responded. Gavin attempted to hop away from Jeremy but only succeeded in pulling him along. “He’s also the dipshit that assumed you were here because of one of our experiments, even though that’s not what it’s designed for and we hadn’t turned it on yet.”

“Well what else was I supposed to think?” Jeremy called out from down past rows of machines. Gavin had dragged him far. “That we were just stupidly lucky and a universe traveller appeared on our doorstep?”

“That’s a fair point,” Ryan agreed, and turned to Geoff. “How did you get here of all possible universes? Why us, and why now?”

“I can see we’re not going to wait until the end of the tour for questions.” Geoff said. “Okay, get out your notepads and what not. I’ve got a long story to tell you all.”

It took about an hour for Geoff to go over the bulk of everything from Zancudo to this universe, and another 3 to satisfy Ryan and Gavin’s questions. After that they mostly ignored him, arguing and scribbling equations on the walls. Geoff left them to it.

Michael showed him the facilities and the cots where the scientists crashed when they couldn’t stop working.

He slept.

The next morning his leg burned, but not enough to stop him from walking. There was breakfast with Jack, who he learned was the team medic. Apparently the three researchers (and Michael) kept him as busy as he was when he worked in a hospital, and Geoff was inclined to believe him.

He spent a couple of hours following Michael around, listening intently while he finished the tour but finding himself out of his depth when Michael tried to explain the purpose or function of the machinery he built.

The lab was… specialised. The team was friendly but this was the first universe where he felt as much an oddity as the people around him.

He got sick of waiting for either Ryan or Gavin to come tell him their findings, and went to find them instead. After a brief search of the lab he found them in the room with all the whiteboards.

What he found was a mess of paper, smudged white board marker, and half empty mugs that reminded him of Gus’s home. The only thing missing was the red string tying it all together. In the middle of it were the two scientists, Gavin clutching a fancy looking tablet and Ryan waving handfuls of paper through the air. Both were yelling at each other.

God, if he thought the other room stank of sweat before.

“Shut up about Calabi-Yau manifolds, they don’t matter!” Ryan shouted.

“But we’ve narrowed it down to four million! That’s computable!” Gavin shouted back.

“Who cares!? We can prove that the cosmological constant is constant across all universes !”

“Oh now who isn’t grounded in reality. Why don’t you focus on something we can test!”

“Guys?” Geoff cut loudly. They stop arguing. He wasn’t the boss here, but old habits die hard. “You have anything for me?”

“Yes!” Ryan gathered up a bunch of papers from a nearby desk.

“No,” Gavin lamented, picking up a whiteboard eraser and scrubbing at a whiteboard. The tablet dropped uncaringly on top of a stack of books, which themselves sat on top of a laptop.

“Well, we have some things we agree on.” Ryan said.

“And a lot we don’t.”

“Hey,” Geoff said, “if you can give me anything, I’ll take it.”

Gavin flipped a whiteboard over and erased that side too. “We agree on a lot of basic principles, at least. The only thing you have to worry about is, where do you want to start?”

Geoff took a seat at one of the desks. He held out the hypercube.

“What is this, and how does it work?”

“Well for one,” Ryan started, “you should probably stop calling it a hypercube. Yeah that’s what it is, but it’s like calling a book a rectangular prism. That’s what it looks like, not what it does.”

“We propose the Free-Haywood Machine,” Gavin said.

“No we don’t. We agreed on Haywood-Free Machine.”

“Both are two long anyway. What about Hayfree Machine? Freewood?”

“For the love of God,” Geoff cut in, “I’m not gonna stop calling it a hypercube. Is this what you spent the last however many number of hours arguing about?”

“We got a little distracted at the end there.” Ryan admitted. “Okay. On to your question.

“Your hypercube sends you to other universes. We think it’s either a more advanced version of the other thing you described, the device you found in Zancudo, or a prototype for something new. It doesn’t have the same physical form the other device did.”

“It’s most likely stuck on a fourth-dimensional part of you,” Gavin added. “You can’t take it off because you can’t access that dimension like your ex-boyfriend can. I assume it’s a way of protecting itself. Three-dimensional things are very sharp compared to four-dimensional. The less of it you can mess with the better.”

“Wait,” Geoff said. “Sharp? Humans aren’t very sharp.”

“Let me put it like this. A sharp blade is sharp because the edge is very thin, right? Two-dimensional objects are super thin. They’d slice you open in an instant. We, and everything in our dimension, are like an extra dimensional version of that. Does that make sense?”

Geoff clicked his tongue. “I think so? Can we get back to the hypercube?”

“In a second.” Ryan said. “First, we need to talk about universes.”

“Why?”

“Because you coming here changed everything .” Ryan explained. “And to know how the hypercube works, you have to understand how universes work. We thought other universes could just be very far away, or exist very far in the future, but you proved universes are branes.”

“Brains?”

“Branes. Three-dimensional strings. Are you familiar with string theory?”

“I’ve had a quick introduction. Vibrating strings, and all that. Also seeing them as I’m ripped apart each time I go to a new universe.” Geoff looked away from both of them, trying to remember anything Gus had told him. “M-Theory? M-Theory.”

“Strings,” Ryan started like he was beginning a lecture. He even began to pace. “Vast sums of strings make up everything in our universe. They can be open, like a line, or closed, like a loop. We are made of open strings, and our ends are embedded in the fabric of our brane so we cannot leave. Your hypercube cuts those strings and sets you free.”

“I don’t feel very free.”

“Well a race of beings far more complicated and powerful than you can comprehend appear to be pulling your strings, figuratively and literally.”

“Okay, great. So how do I control it?”

“We don’t know.” Gavin added. “That’s beyond the scope of one day of mad speculation. It shouldn’t even be possible! The numbers don’t add up.”

“You ran out of math,” Ryan told him, “we need to get you some of that alien math.”

“I would sell my soul for some alien maths.”

“Please don’t.” Geoff held a hand over his face. “Next question. You said the hypercube was like the Zancudo device?”

“Okay,” Gavin said, “that device actually follows some rules. Once we figured out how that one worked we’ve got the hypercube down pat. So.

“You touched the device and it turned on. You saw a flash of red light, which was the point at which you changed universes. Then every time you or one of the rest of your crew were right on the brink of death, you were taken to a new, almost identical universe, which happened to have that universe’s Alt-Geoff and crew disappear in a red flash at the same time. So you appeared, and it looked like you travelled back in time. Right?”

Geoff blinked, long and slow.

“Right. And we all know time travel isn’t real, so.” Geoff said. “Must be true. Obviously.”

“Well-” Ryan started.

“Later, Ryan.” Gavin told him. “Geoff. Then you learned you were leaving corpses behind. So what exactly was travelling between universes, if you were dead on the floor? Are you really you?”

“Oh man, I didn’t want to think about that mess again.” Geoff grimaced.

“Here’s what we think,” Ryan said. “During the red flash, you were split.”

“Split? In half? Am I only half of me? Oh God, how many universes have I been to-”

“Not like that,” Ryan assured. His words were steady and slow, unhurried. It curbed Geoff’s panic. “Answer me this. What’s half of infinity?”

“I dunno?”

“It’s infinity. Half of infinity is still infinity. One percent of infinity is still infinity.”

“It’s infinity all the way down.” Gavin added. “And there’s no end to infinity, you can’t skip to the last number. It doesn’t exist. The misconceptions people still have about infinity, even in this day and age. It’s atrocious. Don’t even get me started on the different kinds of infinity-”

“So you were split.” Ryan said, bringing them back on track. “And we think into an infinite number of pieces, like the strings.”

“Infinite pieces, got it. I’m used to that.”

“And then half of those pieces were taken out and thrown into a new universe.” Ryan settled down in front of Geoff, continuing in that same patient voice. “Just wait though, if you’re thinking again you’re only half of you. What’s half of infinity?”

“…Infinity?”

“Right. So you’re not only half of yourself. You’re the full, original Geoff. There’s just two originals now. The only difference is one is dead on the floor of a military base and the other is loose between universes.”

“I think I follow.” Geoff said slowly. “So I’m still me. Every time there was a red flash, an extra Geoff was made. And we’re both originals, somehow?”

“Yep, that’s it.” Ryan nodded. “The magic of the Banach-Tarski Paradox. How do you take something, slice it up, and rearrange it into two originals? There are ways, even though we thought they were only possible in theory. But it’s the only thing Gavin and I can think of that allows this sort of travel that doesn’t violate any natural laws. Infinities are tricky to deal with, but with enough practice you can wrangle them.”

Ryan shuffled a stack of papers together, and the motion was affectionate somehow.

“Gotta love the Banach-Tarski Paradox. It’s my favourite paradox. I love the idea of taking something halfway magical like infinity and making it do something real and good. It’s like the ultimate Fuck You to a cruel and unkind universe.”

“We’re in charge now,” Gavin said. He leaned in for a high five and Ryan obliged him. “Infinity Pals!”

“No, we already have a team name, Gavin.”

Geoff scratched at his beard, thoughtful.

“So every new universe I went to, there should have been an Alt-Geoff there, left behind.”

“Yep,” Gavin confirmed. “You figured out in a couple of minutes what took us a couple of hours.”

“I can’t do the numbers or anything technical, but I can still think about it. Also, I slept last night.”

“We think some of those Alt-Geoff pieces made it into you.” Ryan explained. “You came to each new universe on the verge of death. Pieces were used to put your body back together, just how it was. If you take two infinities and merge them together, you get… infinity.”

Geoff crossed his arms. “So I’m not all me.”

“But what even are you? The atoms that make you up change every day. You eat food, some parts of it stay in you. You cut your hair, you lose skin cells, you skin your knee. What makes you you is forever in flux. So that, what, finger that got blown off is replaced by one from another universe. Does that change who you are, deep down? Or if some brain matter is replaced, does it matter as long as you still think the same? And your memories change, you get more and lose a few all the time. Or you find a new favourite song, or stop talking to that one asshole. You’re still you, just different. And that’s life.”

“Huh.” If Geoff wasn’t already sitting down, he would have liked to do so again.

“This is also where we got stuck for a while,” Gavin explained, “but we realised we were getting stuck on the pieces. We didn’t look at the whole.”

“I’m still me,” Geoff flexed his fingers. The tattoos were still in the wrong spot, but the fingers themselves felt normal now. “Just a little messed up. But I feel like me.”

“Oh, that gives me an idea.” Gavin scratched out a row of symbols and numbers on the whiteboard.

“So what was next?” Ryan consulted a pile of crumpled papers on a desk. “Gavin and I can agree on a couple more things, mainly concerning how your ex-boyfriend travelled through four dimensions-”

“Just hold on a sec,” Geoff cut him off, “I’ve just learned a whole bunch of stuff about what I’m made of, literally. Give me a moment to digest.”

“Whoever designed that device,” Ryan said gently, “I don’t think designed it like a torture device. I doubt it was meant to be used like you used it. I think it was designed to save as much of the original being as it could, to ensure their life through tough situations beyond their control. And that hypercube, the next generation of device...” Ryan pointed at the hypercube, glowing bright and strong against Geoff’s arm. “I’m sorry the universes you’ve visited have been terrible. But I can assure you, they’re not all like that. With infinite universes to choose from, some of them are bound to be good. Some of them are like this one. And I can’t thank you enough for trusting this one with all the information you’ve given us.”

“Oh jeez,” Geoff looked away. “Don’t make me hug you. I’ll do it, too. You’ve been warned.”

“Oh no, hugs! My one weakness!” Ryan chuckled. “But seriously, how about we take five minutes so I can refill the coffee pot? This has been a lot to take in, I’m sure. You can…” Ryan waved his hands at the floor, unsure of where to look. “Digest.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Geoff assured him. “I’ll be here.”

Ryan and Gavin left the room, and Geoff found a chair to slump down in.

He barely had a minute to himself before the door creaked open and Geoff raised his head out of his hands. Alt-Geoff peeked his head in through the doorway.

“Y'all done in here?”

“We’re taking a brief intermission.” Geoff said. “I don’t suppose you have anything to add to this?”

Geoff pointed at the walls of symbols and equations, of rough diagrams and papers scattered all about.

Alt-Geoff was quick to shake his head.

“Oh no, that’s not my area. Why, I’m just a humble janitor.” He pushed a janitor’s cart into the room behind him.

“Right, right.” Geoff deadpanned. “You’re the humble janitor of the Fink Research Institute of Complex Knowledge.”

Alt-Geoff emptied a bin near one of the desks. “I hear Mr Fink is a real recluse these days. No-one in this team’s ever met him, their boss,” his eyes twinkled. “Except Jack. But Jack’s incredibly tight lipped about him, I hear. If you go searching, I doubt you’ll find answers. Best just to let him be.”

“I wonder why he’d fund something like this, of all things,” Geoff questioned.

“I imagine he overheard some scientists talking passionately one day, and decided to do something about it.” Alt-Geoff mused. “Maybe it was a crazy idea, but if there are as many universes out there as Ryan and Gavin say, in one of them it was bound to turn out, right?”

Infinite universes. Geoff didn’t know much about infinity, but he certainly knew more today than he did yesterday. And there were different kinds of infinity? Different sizes? He'd have to check with Gavin.

“Infinite universes and infinite possibilities,” Geoff said. “Are all infinities the same?”

Geoff’s eyes darkened. His gaze turned towards the desks and papers.

“Or if you drop a mug, is it always going to shatter?”

Alt-Geoff, quick as lightning, pushed an abandoned mug off a desk. It flew towards the floor, cold coffee flying out of it in a graceful arc.

Geoff caught it before it hit the ground, fingers just dancing along the handle. He slowly placed the mug back on the desk, the smallest amount of coffee still swishing around inside.

“Oops!” Alt-Geoff said. “How clumsy of me. Thanks for catching that, it’s Gavin’s favourite mug.” He gathered up a stack of papers off the floor and used the mug as a paperweight. “Gross, there’s a hell of a lot of crumbs in the carpet. You wouldn’t mind if I vacuumed in here, would you?”

“Uh, no,” Geoff stuttered, still staring at the mug. “Go ahead, I’ll come back when you’re done.”

Alt-Geoff hummed to himself while Geoff vacated the room. He gave the mug a final glance, still sitting on top of the papers, waiting for someone to put it into motion.

“So, your ex-boyfriend, Ray.” Ryan said. “I’m jealous of him, you know. But uh, maybe not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

Geoff looked up from the fresh mug of coffee between his hands. “Tell me what I’m thinking, Doctor Ryan.”

“Obviously I’m jealous of his ability to see four dimensions,” Ryan said quickly. “No matter how hard I try, I’m physically incapable of doing the same thing. Like the 2D square trying to envision a cube, I look for a space 3D doesn’t fill and I am left wanting.”

“At least we’re 3D,” Gavin said. “I would hate to be a square in a flat universe. Spend far too much time worrying about corners.”

“Why would you-” Geoff cut himself off. “You know what, don’t worry about it. What do you know about Ray?”

“We figured out how he moves!” Ryan gestured with his words, and some coffee sloshed onto a desk. Ryan didn’t seem to notice. “Through walls and all of that. The pellets too. It’s all related.”

“Yeah?” Geoff sat up a little straighter.

“Think of a video game.”

“Oh good, easy.”

“You know how some side scrollers loop around? You can walk out one end and appear at the other? Or top to bottom?”

“Yeah, like Towerfall Ascension?”

“I’m not familiar.”

“There are four archers, and you fire and catch arrows-”

“I’m sure the specifics don’t matter. So, you’re in a world where going left always makes you end up back at the start. What does that look like?”

There was a long pause.

“Oh,” Geoff said, “you’re expecting an answer from me? I don’t know, dude.”

“It looks like this.”

Ryan drew a doughnut on a whiteboard.

“A doughnut?”

“Well I’d call it a torus, actually-”

“Wrong!” Gavin sing-songed. “Geoff, did Ray ever look distorted, like he was stretched or warped in some way?”

Geoff screwed his face up, thinking.

“No? I don’t think so? He always looked normal to me.”

“That settles it, then.” Gavin slammed a single sheet of paper down on a desk. “It’s not a torus at all. It’s a duocylinder .”

“Gavin,” Ryan said in a low voice, “we agreed on the specific kind of torus-”

“That was before we got coffee. This is way simpler!”

“Well it’s not always about simpler , is it!”

“Okay… Ptolemy.”

Ryan fixed Gavin with a low gaze.

“Don’t make me come over there.”

Gavin screwed his face up and retreated behind a desk.

Geoff slurped his coffee obnoxiously until both pairs of eyes were on him.

“I can see you no longer agree on how Ray does what he does,” Geoff said. “And I stopped knowing what you were talking about. Can we get back somewhere vaguely in the vicinity of on task?”

“Alright,” Ryan admitted, “I might’ve jumped the gun there. I just got excited because if we know how Ray moves, we might know what shape the universe is.”

“The shape of-”

Geoff sighed.

“How is that supposed to help me?”

“Not all knowledge is useful like that,” Ryan said. “Sometimes it’s fun just to learn stuff. It’s our job.”

“We work with what we’re given,” Gavin added. “And we don’t exactly have much in the way of technical data. Your first-hand account was great, don’t get me wrong, but if we could get you in a couple of Jeremy’s machines and work with some real numbers…”

“Depends what it involves,” Geoff replied. “Too many people have been interested in cutting my arm off.”

“Oh please,” Ryan waved him off, “no invasive surgery’s been performed in Los Santos for at least a decade. We’re not butchers .”

“Fine, I suppose I can do some of your tests.” Geoff said. “As long as they’re not any kind of invasive.”

“This is it?” Geoff stared down at the lights playing across his arm. Jeremy adjusted a dial on the side of the machine and the colours changed.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, “I would say it’s even the least invasive test you’ve done today, as per your downright unreasonable instructions not to do anything involving cutting your arm off. This’ll take fifteen minutes or so, as long as you hold still.”

“And it’s not gonna irradiate me or anything?”

“I assume you’re worried about a certain kind of radiation, and the answer is no.”

There was silence for a few minutes while the machine did its thing. It was boring, holding his arm still for so long. All of the machines here, despite some of them looking evil and menacing, were dreary in operation. Jeremy’s tests had taken the rest of the day, excluding lunch and coffee breaks for Ryan and Gavin, and Geoff found his mind wandering more often than not.

Doing science involved a lot more waiting around than Geoff expected.

“Hey Ryan,” Geoff said. “Didn’t you say there was a way time travel could work?”

“Did I?” Ryan asked. “Oh yeah, I did. Gavin will disagree though.”

“It works in theory ,” Gavin stressed.

“I know it works in theory , I’m a theoretical physicist. Figuring this stuff out is my goddamn job. Look,” Ryan turned to Geoff. “Do you know what time is?”

“Yeah. Time is… uh…. We measure it.”

“Time is change, at its core. A clock ticks, we know seconds pass. A ball bounces, waves crash on the shore, you and I breathe in and out. If all that held still, we’d have no way of knowing time was passing. Time is change in space, in a way. You can’t have one without the other.”

“I think I follow. Jeremy’s talked about it before. Not you, Jeremy. My Jeremy.”

“And most importantly,” Ryan continued, “it goes one way. New stuff happens and that stacks on top of the old. Action, reaction, reaction, etcetera, from the beginning of the universe until now.”

Gavin harrumphed .

“He gets it, get to the good stuff,” Gavin said.

“I’m setting the scene!”

“You’re just gonna confuse him when you tell him it’s bullshit!”

“What?” Geoff asked, confused. “Is that not how the world works?”

“Most of the time,” Gavin clarified. “But sometimes particles just appear and disappear for no apparent reason. It’s completely random.”

“That sounds like bullshit.” Geoff said. “And you said particles. Are we not talking strings anymore?”

“Doesn’t matter, they’re the same thing.”

“I don’t know what’s going on anymore,” Geoff admitted.

Jeremy shook his head. “They’re arguing details. Ryan, he gets what time is. Do the next part.”

Ryan took a sip from his coffee, giving him a moment to put his thoughts together.

“Okay. So we know our universe is a brane and there are an infinite number of branes out there, all huddled up next to each other. What if these particles that randomly appear and don’t follow the action-reaction etcetera that the rest of the universe does, what if they’re particles from other branes, passing through?”

Ryan scrambled to find some paper, and held two pieces up against each other.

“Here are two universes. Maybe particles are getting across somehow.”

He offset the pages so they weren’t perfectly aligned.

“And if the universes aren’t perfectly aligned? Particles might be going through at different times .”

Gavin shuffled back into the discussion. “If we could do that, it might be possible to send messages across time to other universes. And it wouldn’t technically violate any rules or cause any paradoxes.”

Ryan nodded eagerly. “And we know it’s possible to travel to other universes now! This is something we can test !”

“Wait. Geoff,” Gavin said, “didn’t you say you’ve been getting a weird signal looking for you?”

“Yeah, it pops up every once in a while.” Geoff frowned. “Different times, different universes. You think this is how it’s travelling?”

“This might be it. We can start searching for it, see if it pops up in this universe. We have access to some satellites we might be able to spare…”

Jeremy flicked a switch and the light machine turned off.

“Okay fellas, we’re done here. It’ll be a few hours before I can get any concrete results out. This is a good time to get some shut eye, seeing as you two have been working for oh,” Jeremy consulted an imaginary watch on his wrist, “a little over two full days at this point.”

“We missed dinner?” Ryan checked a screen and clicked his tongue. “Oh yeah. We missed dinner big time.”

“We’re just getting started , this is the breakthrough of the millennium, ” Gavin snatched a piece of paper off Ryan’s stack and scribbled something on it. “I’ve had another idea. There has to be a way to convert open strings to closed strings, Geoff is proof of that-”

“Nope,” Jeremy grabbed Gavin’s chair and rolled it towards the exit. “That wasn’t a suggestion. If you don’t take a break Jack will kill me and lecture you. Unravel the secrets of the universe after a nap, okay?”

Gavin lunged out of his seat to grab the paper stack and cup of coffee nestled between the machines. Jeremy lightly tugged on his hand and Gavin abandoned the coffee to wrap his other hand around one of the machines, anchoring him in place.

“Oh, Ryan! Help me!”

Ryan shook his head, standing as well. “I wouldn’t want to invoke Jack’s ire.”

“Wait, just let me grab my notes from the-”

Jeremy picked Gavin up around the waist and hauled him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Papers rained down, coating the floor.

“Oi!” Gavin squawked.

“Come on, no experiments on no sleep. You know what happened last time. And the time before that.”

Gavin slumped down, resigned to his fate.

“Fine, a power nap. A quick one. And you’d better wake me when Jeremy’s got results, Ryan. We can’t waste any time.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m gonna grab a bite to eat.”

Ryan followed Jeremy and Gavin from the lab, and Geoff trailed him.

“Hey, Ryan,” Geoff said, tapping his arm and getting him to stop and turn around. “How soon do you think you could start sending messages to other universes?”

“Oh, not for years, at least. And even if I could, I’m not sure it’s a good idea in practice. Any alien life capable of receiving it and responding is probably waaaay beyond what we could handle. Take the aliens from your own universe.”

“Dickheads, the lot of them.” Geoff said. “They told me I had one thing to do, and now I’m here, several months and several hundred universes away. And the weird tug of war that made this happen,” Geoff showed off his tattoos. “Someone’s fucking with me. So you know what? Fuck ‘em, and whatever plans they got. I don’t give a shit anymore. I’ve got to think about what I want to do,” he paused, “if I can’t get home. I need to plan.”

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Ryan said.

“Thanks, but I’m not sure I can take too much more of you and Gavin bickering about science. I’m not keeping up. It’s just not my kind of universe.”

Ryan smiled at that. “I can understand. I’m not too sure I’d fit into a universe where every second day is a gunfight or explosion or something. I’d be dead in two seconds.”

“Oh, I bet you’d surprise yourself.”

They made it to the kitchen before Geoff spoke again.

“Years, huh.”

Ryan opened the fridge and inspected the contents.

“Research takes time. I’m afraid the sleep deprived days of wild speculation are over, and now Gavin and I will spend a long time getting the math down pat. Ooh, we have ravioli.”

“So… is there any more info you can give me about all this?”

Ryan pulled a pot out of a cupboard. “Not for a while. Might be days, but it’ll probably be more like months. We need the go ahead from the boss, more funding, maybe even a few extra hands around here to even start the sorts of tests we’ll need.”

“Then I’ll head off in the morning.”

Ryan accepted this. “If that’s what you want to do. Would you mind if we recorded how it happens?”

“Go ahead. I kinda assumed you wouldn’t let me leave without there being some sort of test equipment involved.”

“You know us too well.”

“One last test?” Jeremy asked.

Geoff nodded. “One last test.”

They had cleared a spot out in the lab to point a hell of a lot of equipment at. Geoff stood in the middle, bag packed and ready to go. Ryan and Gavin yawned around morning coffees and helped Jeremy ensure everything was set up properly. Michael, Jack, and Alt-Geoff hovered around, fiddling with something here and there, but mostly watching and waiting. They’d said their goodbyes, and now waited for the magic to happen in front of their eyes.

“Ready?” Geoff said to Jeremy.

“Whenever you are.”

Geoff held the hypercube up.

“Well, this was fun, and one of my favourite universes so far.”

His eyes caught on Alt-Geoff’s, and Geoff smiled slyly at him.

“If I ever do sort all this out, I promise to come back and tell you how to do it. Or my name didn’t used to be Geoff Fink.”

He spun the hypercube, and the brief moment while the universe dissolved was long enough to see Alt-Geoff flip him off.

Chapter Text

“You’re… ghost hunters?”

“Yep,” Jack confirmed. “Hunted them from Texas to Australia. Season Two is airing as we speak.”

“You film it?!”

“It’s a tv show. Hey, since you’re from another dimension, would you-”

“Nope, no thanks, I don’t wanna be on any tv show. Plus I wouldn’t have a clue how to be on camera.”

“My Geoff’s a natural though, are you sure you wouldn’t-”

“ No .”

Ryan wiped the counter down with a cloth and tucked it in his apron. DHD was emblazoned on the front.

“Best hotdogs this side of Los Santos. Even better than those fuckers on Del Torro Pier.”

Geoff took the straw out of his soda and took a sip. Alt-Geoff sat next to him, rapidly texting Jack, a beautiful looking hotdog steaming in front of him. 

“What’s your beef with the Pier hotdogs?” Geoff asked.

Michael slid the discarded straw into a bin. “Got themselves a Michelin Star a few months back and now they think they’re hot shit. Think they’re so fancy with their gourmet range. Who even wants a gourmet hotdog? I’ve set up shop here for eight years and I know what people like.”

Jeremy came out the back with a spatula in hand. “You sure you don’t want one? I can make you Geoff’s favourite.”

Geoff shook his head. “I just had lunch in the last universe.” Resettling himself on his stool, he shot Michael a look. “But, if you want that other hotdog place out of the way, I could get that done before dinner time.”

Michael narrowed his eyes, looked around, and leaned in. “Are you implying what I think you’re implying?”

Geoff carded his fingers through his hair, joining them behind his head. “You’re looking at the best criminal this side of Los Santos.”

Jeremy scoffed. “Yeah, and what about the other side?”

Geoff flipped him off. “I had an empire running from the docks all the way to Paleto Bay. Most of the cops and politicians were in our pocket, the military refused to go near us, and other crews were chomping at the bit to work with us.”

“You expect me to believe you’re some kind of criminal genius?” Jeremy pointed his spatula at Alt-Geoff. “That he is?”

“No, of course not,” Geoff said.

“Hey,” Alt-Geoff said, and Geoff ignored him.

“You were all part of my crew, and that was how we got everything done.”

“Oh,” Jeremy replied, “that explains it then.”

“We did some incredible things,” Geoff looked into his soda, “took down a massive corporation head, the military base, even the leader of a foreign country. Powerful people.”

“How the hell did you manage that?”

Geoff’s fingernail traced a path around the rim of the can. His eyes watched it without taking it in. “What do you do when your enemy is stronger than you, and faster than you, and smarter than you?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I dunno. Die?”

“Yeah, you do.” Geoff said. “It’s something I’ve been having a bit of a problem with the last few years, believe it or not. But someone very near and dear to me found an answer.”

Geoff smirked into his drink, but his eyes remained the same. “Have more friends. That’s what it always came down to in the end. Fighting the Corpirate, fighting the Inconvenience, fighting Prince James and his ED-Garde.”

“Who found the answer for you?”

“You did.” Geoff finally looked up, taking in all the pairs of eyes on him. The DHD hotdog stand was dead silent, even Alt-Geoff pausing his frantic texting to listen. “Some things you just can’t do without a crew. And mine? Mine was the best .”

“If it makes you feel better,” Jeremy said after a long silence, “I no longer think you’re lying about being a good criminal.”

Geoff blinked something out of his eye. “You know what would make me feel better? Blowing up a rival hotdog stand. Does anybody here wanna help?”

“A king,” Geoff deadpanned, “right.”

Alt-Geoff raised his hands in a faux surrendering fashion, jazzing them slightly.

“You’ve caught me in my cunning deceit,” Alt-Geoff replied, thick with sarcasm. “Look around. If I can believe you’re from a different universe, what’s so hard about believing I’m a king?”

“Because I know I’m not a descendant of any royalty,” Geoff explained, “and you’re me, so you’re not either.”

“You’re right, we’re not.” Alt-Geoff was smug, and bounced on his heels a little. “I won the crown, just like every King of Los Santos before me.”

“You’re not wearing a crown.”

“I’m a modern sort of king, we don’t do that much nowadays. Also you appeared in the middle of the night, right before I was about to go to sleep. I don’t see why you think I should be dressed in my best.”

Geoff twirled his lengthening moustache around a finger. “Can I see it?”

“The crown?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not gonna try and steal it, are you?”

“Are you asking that because I just told you I used to run a criminal empire?”

“No, I’m asking because you’re me.”

Geoff had to incline his head in agreement. “That’s fair. The only reason I’m not gonna steal it is because I don’t want to carry it around.” Geoff indicated to his backpack, sitting on a fancy couch. “I’m travelling light.”

Alt-Geoff mulled it over, fiddling with his moustache. It was much longer than Geoff’s and lacked the accompanying beard.

“Fine. Follow me.”

Geoff followed Alt-Geoff to his bedroom. He opened a wardrobe door and there it was, sitting on a shelf.

The crown was golden, ornate, but not with jewels or swirls. It had sharp, square lines carved into its surface which gave it a blocky appearance. Very modern.

“Holy shit,” Geoff breathed, “that’s cool as dicks.”

“Believe me yet?”

“Do I need to call you King Geoff? My liege? Your Kingliness?”

King Geoff laughed. “Only if you can do it with a straight face.”

“Alright, be honest with me.” Geoff said. “How much fun is it being a king?”

“The paperwork sucks,” King Geoff admitted, “but it’s fun as hell, yeah. I bet running a criminal empire gives you a lot more freedom.”

“You’d think so, but I ended up doing a lot of paperwork too. Meetings with accountants and politicians, yelling about resources with underlings, yadda yadda. At least I got to blow shit up whenever I wanted.”

“I wish I got to blow shit up.”

“I mean… we could.” Geoff said. “You got any enemies you want taken out? Businesses you don’t like? Rival royalty?”

King Geoff waved him off. “I can’t be caught doing something like that.”

Geoff pointed a thumb at himself. “Dude. If you’re the King of Los Santos, then I’m the king of not getting caught doing illegal shit. How about you find a quiet, deserted place outside the city and I'll rustle up a couple of rocket launchers.”

“I have a property in the Palomino Highlands. Trust me, the highlands are deserted. Can we actually do this?”

“Yeah, why not? We can do it right now. I bet you have King stuff to do in the daytime anyway.”

“You know what? Sure. Let’s go. Just give me a few minutes to get my driver and security detail ready.” King Geoff pulled out his phone and composed a text.

“Why bother?” Geoff asked. “Let’s just go before anyone knows. Be back before sunrise. Come on, that way you don’t have to explain me to anyone.”

King Geoff laughed again. “My security team is the best of the best. Very loyal and discrete. They could help, even.”

“Best of the best, huh?” Geoff said. “Where were they when I showed up half an hour ago?”

“Right here,” Ryan said from directly behind him.

Geoff all but jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus Christ!”

Ryan leaned casually against the wardrobe, barely a step behind Geoff, fiddling with a long knife. Michael and Jeremy stood a short distance behind, Geoff’s backpack in Michael’s hands.

“If you were a threat,” Jeremy said, “you would have been removed.”

“Ryan,” King Geoff said, “we talked about this. Stop scaring my guests.”

“He gave me the perfect opportunity!”

“Jeremy, you look so good in black,” Geoff said. “Please don’t go back to the purple and orange.”

“Now that’s an idea,” Jeremy said. “I have this purple blazer-”

“Don’t give him ideas,” King Geoff warned. “Okay. Jack, Gavin, and Alfredo are on their way. We should be able to leave in a couple of minutes.”

Michael passed Geoff’s backpack back to him.

“Alright criminal,” Michael smirked, “are you gonna show us a good time?”

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said.

“Yeah, I’m from another dimension, sorry.” Geoff replied, stretching his back. “Just passing through.”

“He just came out of you!” Ryan said, and pulled a gun.

Geoff flipped him off and wandered over to the kitchen. “Do you have avocados?”

“Are you me?” Alt-Geoff asked.

“He looks just like you,” Ryan confirmed, the gun wavering in his grip. “But he doesn’t smell like you.”

Geoff’s hand stilled on the refrigerator door.

“Smell? What?”

“Not like an Alpha,” Alt-Geoff said, “but not like anything else either.”

Ryan’s gun lowered. “He still smells pretty good though. Very good.”

Geoff gave Ryan a long look, and then it clicked.

“ Oh . Oh, no, Christ, no thanks. I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

“Wait a sec, wait a second,” Ryan said, but Geoff was already halfway towards the door.

“I’m not spending a second longer in this universe than I absolutely have to. Fuck you, and goodbye.” Geoff slammed the front door shut and sprinted for the elevator.

Geoff leaned against the wire fence while Alt-Geoff lined up his shot.

“So I was thinking,” Geoff paused while Alt-Geoff wound back and went for it, “if humans are sharp, maybe I broke the hypercube by tugging on it the wrong way right back at the start. A bit got sliced off and now I have to super glue it back together every once in a while.”

“You don’t look very sharp.”

“You can’t see it, dipshit. Or interact with it. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Then how do you know it’s there?”

“Because of the fucking cube floating around my arm!” Geoff waved it around.

Alt-Geoff retrieved his ball from the hole.

“Well excuse me for not keeping up with your mad story about aliens and time travel. I’ve got a competition tomorrow and I’d kinda like to focus on preparing for it.”

“There’s not even any time travel in it! Okay, there was some potential minor time travel. But that’s not the point.”

“And the point?” Alt-Geoff lined up at the next hole.

“The point? The point is, is that I’m telling you the secrets of the goddamn universe and you couldn’t care less.” Geoff snatched up the golf ball and Alt-Geoff shot him a murderous look. “Because of a game of mini golf that you’re not even playing. It happens tomorrow!”

Alt-Geoff pulled another golf ball out of his pocket. “It’s called Ultra Mini Golf, and I don’t know how you do it in your universe, but I’m gonna make a hell of a lot of money tomorrow.” He put the golf ball down in the same spot as the other one. “You know what interests me? How much you care about the aforementioned secrets of the universe, when I know I don’t care at all. But you’re me. So why do you care?”

“Because!” Geoff spluttered. “It’s my life! The more I know, the better chance I have of solving it all!”

Alt-Geoff lined up another shot. Taking a deep breath, he gave the ball a little tap. It rebounded off an obstacle and danced around the rim of the hole before falling in.

“I think,” Alt-Geoff said with weight, “it’s a nice distraction. And it makes you feel a bit in control. But all of that universe stuff? You’re not in control of that, and that’s scary.”

“No, because I control the hyper…” Geoff trailed off, deflating. “You might be right.”

Alt-Geoff picked the ball out of the hole. “If I were you, and I am, I would worry about what I can control. And for me, that’s this game of Ultra Mini Golf.”

Alt-Geoff flipped his putter around and offered Geoff the handle. “Wanna play a game?”

Slowly, Geoff took the putter.

“Loser buys dinner?”

“Then I hope you have enough of some other universe’s money in your pocket,” Alt-Geoff headed back to get another putter, “because I’m about to show you what a pro ultra mini golfer can do. I know this course like the back of my hand.”

Geoff glanced at his hand before shoving it in a pocket.

“I still can’t believe this is your job. I mean, it’s mini golf .”

Alt-Geoff turned back to him with a twinkle in his eye.

“ Ultra Mini Golf. And you watch out for the second half of the course. There’s a couple of loop-the-loops, two rings of fire, and an active miniature volcano.”

“You’re joking,” Geoff replied. “you’re pulling my leg, aren’t you, right? Right?”

Geoff stepped on a section of uneven ground and his foot rolled. Pain lanced up his leg, throbbing, tearing pain that made Geoff clutch his upper thigh in a hopeless attempt to stem it.

“Jesus, fuck!”

“Geoff?” Alt-Geoff asked. “You alright?”

Geoff waved him off, one hand still on his thigh. The pain radiated past his hip and up his spine.

“M’good, I just need a couple of minutes. Bench, is there-”

“Yeah, over here.” Alt-Geoff pointed one out and wrapped an arm around Geoff’s waist. Geoff clutched at Alt-Geoff’s shoulder with a white-knuckle grip.

Geoff limped towards the bench and stretched his leg out along it. The pain lessened, dialing back enough to allow Geoff to breathe properly again.

“Oh, that’s better,” Geoff sighed.

Alt-Geoff sat down next to him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just an old injury. Well, not that old. Frag grenade.”

“Were you in a war zone or something?”

“Not this time.” Geoff massaged the muscles in his thigh. “Jumped off my apartment roof. Someone wanted me dead faster than the ground.”

“That sucks.” Alt-Geoff picked up a stick off the ground in front of him and threw it off the course. “We have some time before the course closes. You wanna talk about it?”

“No, no, I’m good,” Geoff said too quickly.

Alt-Geoff sat next to him in silence.

“It’s just…” Geoff said, and Alt-Geoff swivelled around to give him his full attention.

“Everything else I can get used to,” Geoff said, “the differences in the people I meet. The danger level of each universe. I can adapt, and I have, and that’s fine, really. I’m used to it. Even if all my alternate selves enjoy is mini golf,” Geoff finished with a smile.

“ Ultra Mini Golf,” Alt-Geoff cut in.

“Of course, of course.” Geoff replied. “I just don’t like not knowing. What the next universe will be like. What I should do in it. When my leg will next fuck up like this,” Geoff slapped his calf muscle, “or if it’ll be fine. And I know you probably want to tell me something else about what I can control or what not-”

“No, no.” Alt-Geoff protested. “That was advice for enjoying the moment. This is some fucking bullshit you have to put up with on a daily basis. I just wanna listen. I just wanna help, really. How can I help you?”

Geoff flexed his foot a few times. The pain was tolerable, and didn’t increase with the movement.

“You’re right. It is fucking bullshit, isn’t it.”

He tapped his putter against Alt-Geoff’s leg.

“You could verse me on one leg, if you think that could even the odds a little.”

“Oh we’re back to this, are we?”

“I have a bet to win. I told you a couple of minutes, didn’t I? I feel… pretty good. Better than I have in a while. Let’s play some ultra mini golf, shall we?”

“So that’s pretty much everything up until right now,” Geoff finished, the boat rocking gently beneath him. “It sucks, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I actually like some of the universes I’ve been to, especially this one.”

“This is one of the better ones,” Alt-Geoff replied. He pulled a beer out of an esky and offered it to Geoff. “You want one?”

Geoff shook his head. “No thanks, I don’t do that anymore.”

“More for me.”

Alt-Geoff skulled it, and Geoff looked over the water. Jack and Ryan sat in a boat a couple of metres away, and the Lads sat in another closer to the waterline. The lake was big, but not big enough that he lost sight of the banks. There was a warm breeze coasting over the surface, gently tousling the water’s surface, and bright white reflections danced across Geoff’s vision. The rod in his hand tugged against a weak current.

It was like being back on his superyacht, but ten times better.

“I never knew I’d enjoy fishing this much,” Geoff told Alt-Geoff.

“I try to get everyone out at least once a year. Make a competition of it. A jamboree of sorts.”

“It’s a good idea.”

Jeremy shouted something unintelligible, and the Gents looked over at him. He’d pulled up an old sword stuck to the bottom of the lake, by the looks of it. Lichen and streams of aquatic weed hung off the hilt. With another tug, the sword came the rest of the way out of the water and the weeds dripped off it. Jeremy picked the weeds off and gave the sword a few pretend swings.

“Hey!” Jeremy called out across the lake, holding the sword high, “I’m King Arthur!”

“Nope,” Michael argued, “you need a lady to give it to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy levelled the sword at Michael. 

Something about the scene made Geoff think of Ray, but he couldn’t remember why.

“I mean,” Lindsay called out from the bank, book in hand, “I drove you here. In a way, I led you to the sword.”

“See?” Jeremy said at Michael. “There you go. I’m a king now.”

Geoff shook his head and reeled his line in a fraction. “You wouldn’t like it. Too much paperwork.”

“Here, Jer,” Gavin said, hands deep in the water. “I’ve got a crown for you.”

Gavin tossed an armful of weeds and lakewater onto Jeremy’s head. Jeremy recoiled and the sword dropped into their boat. Jeremy swore and tackled Gavin, the boat rocking dangerously.

“Come here you little shit!”

“Ahhh! Michael!!” Gavin screamed.

Michael shook his head.

“You earned that, man.”

Jeremy heaved and Gavin fell over the side with a strangled yelp. Michael and the Gents immediately burst out laughing.

“That’s the funniest fucking thing-” Alt-Geoff said, cutting off to laugh some more.

“I’ve seen in my entire life!” Geoff finished for him.

Jack powered his and Ryan’s boat towards the Lad’s boat and gave Gavin something to hold on to.

“Let him drown!” Jeremy called out. “Your king demands it!”

“Fuck you,” Jack replied. “You’re not my king.”

“Let me up, let me up,” Gavin spluttered, absolutely drenched.

“And why should we do that?” Ryan asked him.

Gavin held up a fishing pole that made it in the water with him.

“I’ve got Jeremy’s fishing rod. You’re in for a chance at glory now.”

“Oi!” Jeremy shouted at him. “Give that back! I’m your king!”

Geoff and Alt-Geoff howled with laughter in the background, ignoring their fishing rods for the spectacle on the water’s surface.

“When I retire,” Geoff laughed, wiping at his eye, “And I will one day, I want it to be somewhere like this.”

Geoff fell out of Alt-Geoff and waited for the expected response.

There wasn’t one.

Which was rare, but it usually just meant Alt-Geoff was asleep or dead. This Alt-Geoff, however, swigged another drink straight from the bottle and stared Geoff down wordlessly.

Geoff picked himself off the floor. A small cloud of dust and detritus fell off him when he moved, and he had to wipe down his clothes where they touched the surface.

“Uh… hello?”

Alt-Geoff said nothing, eyes dancing away to a far corner of the room. Which wasn’t the penthouse apartment, or Gus’s home, or one of Lindsay’s safehouses. Geoff didn’t know this room at all, and he’d seen more than his fair share of run down shitholes. But this was a new one.

“This is a new one,” Geoff said. The air stank of whiskey, the cheap kind, and sweat. The room was all but empty, just a rotten couch and a small tv, with Alt-Geoff curled up against the wall opposite the door.

There were a lot of bottles surrounding him.

“You alright, Geoff?” Geoff asked.

“Fuck you,” Alt-Geoff responded. He picked up an empty bottle and hurled it at Geoff.

Geoff slid to the side and the bottle whizzed past him, hitting the side of the couch and bouncing to the floor unbroken.

“Shit, dude, why? What did I do to you?”

“You know what you did.”

Alt-Geoff picked up another bottle. Geoff snatched it out of his hands before he could throw it. Alt-Geoff stared at his empty hand for a few seconds before lowering it.

“No, I don’t,” Geoff told him. “I haven’t done anything to you.”

“Yeah you have.” Alt-Geoff retorted. “You’re me.”

“Okay, there’s a misunderstanding here,” Geoff sat down on the least disgusting cushion on the couch. “I’m not actually you. I’m the you from another universe, just passing through.”

“You look like me, just a couple of years younger.”

“That might be a universe thing, or it might be the alcohol you’re currently drowning yourself in.”

The corner of Alt-Geoff’s mouth ticked up.

“That bother you?”

Geoff shrugged. “Only ‘cause I know you can do better.”

“You can save yourself the holier-than-thou speech,” Alt-Geoff went for another empty bottle but Geoff kicked it away. It clattered into a stack of them and they clinked and rolled around. The noise startled Alt-Geoff, and it seemed to snap him back into reality a bit. 

“Oh fuck. You’re really real, aren’t you.”

“I’m not a booze induced hallucination, no.”

“Then you’re trespassing. Fuck off.”

Geoff sighed.

“Is Jack around? Ryan? Or one of the Lads? I don’t think they’d like seeing you do this to-”

“I don’t have to worry about what they’d like anymore.” Alt-Geoff rubbed at his eye, scratched at his scraggly beard. “They’re not here, and they never will be again.”

‘Why not?” Geoff narrowed his eyes. “What did you do?”

“Killed ‘em,” Alt-Geoff took another swig. “Ryan, the Lads, Lindsay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They’re dead ‘cause of me. One too many stupid fucking mistakes and…” Alt-Geoff mimed a finger gun going off in Geoff’s direction. “Poof. Gone.”

“And Jack?” Geoff asked. “You didn’t say Jack.”

Alt-Geoff made a pfft sound.

“She doesn’t want to see me. I don’t blame her. I started doing this again-” Alt-Geoff sloshed the bottle so hard half of it ended up on the floor- “and she tried to help, but I kept yelling at her.”

“So you made a mistake,” Geoff started, but Alt-Geoff sneered at him.

“I don’t wanna hear anything you have to say,” Alt-Geoff spat on the floor. “Fuck you. And whatever universe you came from.”

“You don’t need to be mad at me , I’m just trying to help.” Geoff took his backpack off and left it on the couch.

“Why shouldn’t I? You waltz in here like you’re Mr Perfect, all open ears and fake concern. Have you killed everyone you loved? No. So don’t act like you get it.”

Geoff could have laughed, if he wasn’t half a second away from ripping the bottle out of Alt-Geoff’s hands and bashing him over the head with it.

“No, you’re right,” Geoff said, scorn edging out of his mouth into the air. “The people I love are safe at home in my home universe. And a couple of hundred universes since then. But there are things worse than death you can put your loved ones through. And you haven’t killed everyone you love either. Jack’s still out there, isn’t she?”

“Why would she want anything to do with me? I fucked up her crew and her life. She’ll be happy to hear I drank myself to death. It’s what I deserve.”

Geoff took a deep breath.

“Here’s the thing though. I know Jack, because I love a version of her in my own universe. She’s mad, and rightly so, and it was good of her to leave when you got like this. But you’re gonna make her lose you on top of everyone else?

“You’re not the only Geoff in existence that’s ever fucked up atrociously. And it’s easy, you know, to fall back into this trap,” Geoff kicked another bottle over, “pick up your bad habits because it all seems so hopeless. You think I’m some ideal version of you? Mr Perfect? Like three weeks ago I was in the exact same boat as you. And also, literally a boat.”

Alt-Geoff snorted. “The exact same situation huh? Of course not. Look at you. Nice clothes, well fed, the ability to travel between universes. Someone’s looking after you. Someone’s loving you.”

Geoff hadn’t thought about it like that.

“I got lucky,” Geoff said, “real lucky. The Fakes I’ve seen, most of them, end up being really nice. After the initial confusion, of course. I don’t get mad at Ryan for threatening to shoot me half the time. Sometimes, though, I don’t get so lucky.”

Geoff looked down. “But I pushed a lot of the good ones away, even when I didn’t need to. I could have explained more to them, but I got tired of doing it. I could have talked to them, but I-”

Geoff cut himself off to shake his head.

“I’m an idiot. I forgot about rule one. Communicate. They’re not my crew, but I’m close enough to their Geoff.” Geoff looked at Alt-Geoff in the eye, held his gaze. “And I didn’t like admitting it, but they’re close enough to my crew. Maybe, just… talk to Jack. The things I would do to talk to my Jack again. Shit I have done, to people who didn’t deserve it...”

He thought of Jeremy, reaching out to him from a ruined helicopter. Michael, alone, spitting poison in an empty apartment. Gavin walking away on a rainswept pier. Countless others Geoff had left when it was convenient.

Alt-Geoff maintained eye contact and sipped again.

Geoff rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“You’re just gonna sit there and drink while I pour my heart out to you?”

“Jack doesn’t want me. But I can see a way to make this work.”

Alt-Geoff fished around in his jacket until he found his Glock and aimed it at Geoff. Despite his squinting and swaying, the gun held steady.

Geoff raised his hands up between him and Alt-Geoff.

“Really?” Geoff said. “You’re gonna shoot me? I know how hard it is first hand to shoot myself. Put it away.”

Alt-Geoff’s Glock pointed at Geoff unwavering.

“You can travel between universes.” Alt-Geoff said. “Take me to a better one.”

Geoff put his hands down. “It doesn’t work like that-”

“Figure it out, then.”

“Wow, if only it was that easy, and I hadn’t been trying to do that for months now.” Geoff waved the depowered hypercube at Alt-Geoff. “I can’t even use it for a couple more hours!”

“Then I’ll take it from your corpse.”

“I can’t believe this. You can’t .” Geoff took a step forward to take the gun off him. “And you’re not going to shoot me, so you can-”

Alt-Geoff shot him.

Right over his heart. All the air left Geoff’s lungs and he stumbled a step back.

“Fuck,” Geoff wheezed.

“Oh great,” Alt-Geoff said, “are you bulletproof?”

Geoff staggered forward and ripped the Glock from Alt-Geoff’s hands. The heat from the barrel burned his hand and he tossed it on the couch.

“No, fuckface,” Geoff said once he had some air again in his lungs, “body armour. But you’ve ruined my suit jacket and I should put a bullet in you just for that.”

“Then do it. I’ve got nothing left here.”

Christ, Geoff’s chest hurt. He could feel the muscle of his chest beat against his ribs, the heat of the impact site throb with every tiny movement. Geoff shed his jacket, doing his best not to whimper, and eased himself out of his shirt. If a few buttons were lost along the way, Geoff was beyond caring.

Next was the body armour. Alt-Geoff watched passively while Geoff fumbled with the straps, his teeth grit and his hands shaking. Eventually he revealed reddened flesh and the beginnings of the biggest bruise in the world, but no bullet hole.

“I can’t believe you fucking shot me.” Geoff spat. “Why are you such an asshole?”

Alt-Geoff smiled. “Because I’m you.”

“I should have shot you back.”

“There’s still time.”

“No, I-” Geoff bit back the urge to say something nasty.

He just wanted to be away . But there was a long time left before the hypercube would recharge.

“Gimme your phone,” Geoff instructed, and Alt-Geoff complied.

Geoff’s fingerprint unlocked it, and he found his location and Jack’s number. He typed out a quick text.

The reply was almost immediate.

“I know you want to rot here peacefully until the end of your days, or have me kill you, but fuck you.” Geoff tossed the phone back and it hit Alt-Geoff on the chest. “Jack’ll be here soon. You have one last chance to apologise to her. And if you don’t want to? Fine, then you have one last chance to disappoint her. And judging by the look on your face I can tell which one you’d hate more.”

Geoff put his ruined jacket in one hand and his backpack in the other. If he’d left a hand free he would have punched Alt-Geoff.

“Hope you have a long, long life, dickhead.”

Geoff stomped out of the shitty, dirty room.

The universe materialised and Geoff took in a lungful of fresh air.

A skyscraper loomed far too close over his head, and Geoff stumbled a step backwards before realising it was leaning securely against another. Green vines hung down like a curtain along its length, small blue flowers adding a stab of colour against the grey gloom.

Most of the buildings were leaning against one another, greenery overtaking the roads and paths Geoff knew should dot between them.

Whatever happened here, it happened years ago. Nature had done an excellent job of taking back what it once lost.

Geoff looked back at the pile of rubble he emerged from and shook some debris away. A clean white skull stared back at him.

An odd feeling overtook him, and despite the humidity, Geoff broke out in shivers.

A second later, Alt-Geoff wove into existence beside him.

“What the fuck?” Geoff said. He looked at the skull again. “Isn’t that you?”

“That’s me,” Alt-Geoff said, “as much as it is you. It might be a little more you, though.”

This Alt-Geoff wore a hypercube around his finger, like a ring.

“You’re from another universe,” Geoff said, “you came out of me just like I came out of him.” Geoff indicated towards the skull.

“Three Geoffs, one universe,” Alt-Geoff said. “What a coincidence. I wonder what the chances are?”

He didn’t sound surprised at all. Alt-Geoff smiled with a predator’s grin and empty eyes.

Geoff broke out in goosebumps. His stomach plummeted through the floor, he started to sweat, he could feel his heartbeat increase its tempo in his chest. Something wasn’t right here.

This Alt-Geoff didn’t feel like him.

“Who are you really?”

Alt-Geoff looked him in the eyes. Geoff fought against the urge to take a step back. His Glock brushed against his back and Geoff’s fingers itched to put it between him and Alt-Geoff.

“I’m you, through and through,” Alt-Geoff said. “From the top of my head, to the bottom of my toes.”

He wore the same suit that Geoff frequently wore, and Geoff was in fact still wearing the pants for. He had the same heavily lidded eyes, sparse eyebrows, hollow cheeks. He even had Geoff’s old moustache, immaculately maintained.

Hell, he looked more like Geoff than Geoff did. Ryan’s jacket, glitched tattoos, full beard, that limp that snuck up on him occasionally, he was a far cry from the man that first touched the hypercube.

“You’re not looking your best,” Alt-Geoff continued, all faux concern, “having a rough time travelling between universes?”

Geoff figured out what unsettled him so much about this Alt-Geoff. When he spoke, Geoff heard the words before his mouth made the right shapes, like Alt-Geoff was lagging behind. It made him want to clean his ears out.

“And what else are you?” Geoff said.

Alt-Geoff kicked at a small pile of rubble not covered in green moss. A piece of concrete tumbled down the mound, clattering all the way, until it came to a rest against a large mound of rubble.

“Damn,” Alt-Geoff said in the same unhurried tone, “I thought I was convincing. Isn’t this convincing enough? Aren’t I using the right voice and the right expressions? Language? What else do I need?”

Geoff’s hand slid around his waist to his Glock. If Alt-Geoff saw the motion, and he should have, it didn’t faze him.

“It doesn’t matter.” Alt-Geoff said, “I don’t have a lot of time. We shouldn’t directly interfere, because we can be so easily found out, but something like this?” Alt-Geoff gestured down to himself. “I can risk a little while.”

“If you’re not Geoff,” Geoff said, “What are you?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Alt-Geoff replied, his face marred with a wide grin. “I’m an alien, pulling the strings of this teeny tiny Geoff. It’s much harder to detect me this way.”

“Oh yeah, obviously,” Geoff replied sarcastically before he could stop himself. The alien’s grin grew wider, the skin stretching and creaking. If it was in pain it didn’t show.

An alien, talking to him, alive and in the flesh. 

His flesh, specifically.

“You don’t need to hide from me,” Geoff said. “I know what you look like. I’ve seen corpses like you a thousand times in Zancudo.”

“It’s not for you,” The alien tossed its head around. “Okay, maybe a little. Your brain, after all, would tear itself apart if you saw a living one of us.” The alien leaned in close. “It’s just there’s more than only me living out there.”

“Is Alt-Geoff still alive in there?”

“Yeah, I guess.” The alien shrugged. “Just another Geoff dragged into this mess. I wouldn’t normally do something like this, but desperate times call for desperate measures, as you humans would say.” The alien faked a laugh. “You needed to be found, I needed to wear this skin, we’ve both made sacrifices. And ended up in this useless universe, far from where we need to be. And that’s a funny story, let me tell you.”

The alien picked up the skull and inspected it, twisting it this way and that.

“You ever wonder why we’re here?”

Chapter Text

“It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries, isn’t it,” The alien continued before tossing the skull down to join the larger debris pile.

“Do you know why I’m here?” Geoff asked, his knees almost buckling. “Why am I going to all these different universes instead of Mount Gordo?”

The skull shattered on a piece of rebar. Geoff fought the urge to flinch. It was his skull, in a way.

“You should have gone straight there,” The alien confirmed. “Someone interfered with the tesseract. And they kept doing it, every time you changed universes. It was infuriating, and we lost track of you.”

“I knew it,” Geoff whispered. That gut feeling, the wrongness of it all. Geoff had been right all along.

But that gave him more questions. 

Geoff crossed his arms in front of him. “Wait. But who was it? Are they the one following me? What about the signal?”

The alien kicked at the debris again, mumbling to itself.

“How did it go again? Right.” The alien looked back to Geoff. “Geoff. I couldn’t give two shits. I don’t know anything about a signal. What matters now is that the threat has been dealt with. We have control over the tesseract again, and you can move through universes as we intended.”

If that explanation was meant to reassure him, it didn’t work. Geoff didn’t like half answers, or his concerns swept away. The alien’s tone irked him.

For God’s sake, Geoff had stumbled through hundreds of universes because he was told he had to. He had been mutilated, buried alive, and hunted. The number of people he had loved and left behind, or hurt or killed or betrayed. He had to know why. The least this alien could do in return was give him a decent explanation.

“But who was it?” Geoff asked again. “Do I know them? Are they human?”

The alien stared at him passively, not even breathing. There may have been anger, or annoyance in its eyes, but Geoff had seen his own angry face enough times by now to know the expression here just didn’t sit right.

A second later it took in a deep breath, and it was like it came back to life. 

“Human... I suppose so. Called himself the Dark God, which we all found amusing. He found something he should have known better than to take, and exploited it, so that makes him a God?” The alien laughed, which looked awful with the sound starting too early. “We broke his toys, and we found you.”

Geoff had to bite back a retort. This Dark God, and Geoff felt ridiculous even calling him that in his head, must have found some alien tech. And he was supposed to know better than to touch it? When the aliens specialised, it seemed, in leaving alien tech around for people to pick up?

The thought filled him with vitriol, and he couldn’t tell if it was directed at the Dark God or the aliens.

“What did he want from me?”

“Irrelevant. What’s important is where you’re going from here.”

“No,” Geoff said with force. “I want to know what’s going on. I’ve been wandering through these universes for months now, because I tried to do something you told me to. So the least you can do is answer my questions.”

The alien loomed over Geoff, suddenly much taller now. Geoff had to take a step back and cast his eyes away. Looking at him made Geoff’s eyes hurt.

A second later it was over, and the alien returned to normal.

“I’m not beholden to you, and I’m not here to answer all your questions. I’m here to make sure you’re back on the correct path and you can do what has to be done.” There was that blank look again, and the light left the alien’s eyes. It was not dissimilar to a freshly dead Alt-Geoff, but once again the moment was gone as quickly as it came.

“A path of universes have been found to take you safely to Mount Gordo.” The alien continued. “Can you aim and fire the sniper rifle, despite the damage to your third dimensional form?”

Geoff forced his shaking legs to hold his weight. It took Geoff a second to recognise he had been asked a question.

He was not ready to back down, not even if the alien was going to make his eyes bleed. He needed answers like his life depended on it, which it did.

“Will I get to go home after?” Geoff shot back.

The alien rolled its eyes.

“We don’t care what happens to you after. Can you do what you have been instructed to do?”

“Well maybe you should care!” Geoff shouted and it might have been enough to hide the tremble in his voice. “Because I’m not shooting anything down over Mount Gordo until I have a guarantee about what happens next!”

The alien looked at him. Really looked, and Geoff fought to maintain eye contact even as his eyes burned.

“You are not in a position to make demands of me,” The alien said finally, “just as you can’t demand the Earth to stop spinning or the Sun to stop shining. Just be happy to be part of the process. The specifics are beyond your comprehension.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Geoff said before he could stop himself. “Sure, the fourth spacial dimension, yeah. But a plan that involves me? I make plans every single day, I get plans. So you’d better give me an overview.” Geoff’s lips barely smiled. “Unless, of course, they don’t tell you anything either.”

The alien had another moment of stillness, considering.

“A long time ago, in a universe a million branes separated from your own,” The alien said, “A Geoff not too unlike you managed to find alien technology and shot down two UFOs over Mount Gordo. With the deaths of the aliens on board, a very delicate situation formed. It almost wiped us all out. But we believe with some tweaking, it could turn out very beneficial. So we made it happen again in another universe. And another. We found a way to make it self propagate, limiting our involvement and keeping the operation secret. You are the most recent Geoff in a long, long chain leading back to that first universe.”

“So… I’m one of a whole bunch of Geoffs you’ve made shoot UFOs down over Mount Gordo.” Geoff said. That part he was familiar with. “You make us shoot them down, and that triggers the events at Zancudo and then with Prince James. And then eventually I touch the hypercube, and start the process over again.”

The alien smiled a genuine smile, but it was one you would give to an obedient pet.

“Very good.”

A line of Geoffs, stretching back further than Geoff could contemplate, each stuck in the same series of events. Gordo. Zancudo. Prince James. Gordo. Forever, until the aliens got it right.

Geoff knew what it was like to be stuck in a loop. The aliens had engineered their own.

“Is that why you made Ray leave?” Geoff asked, eyes darting back and forth as he thought. “He left, and Jeremy came, all so I would end up at Gus’s house at just the right time? The… the lies you fed him about having to leave so we would survive. That was all to get him to leave, wasn’t it?”

Geoff ran his fingers through his hair, his fingers briefly hovering over his glitched bald spot. What had Ray said, as he left? A mug, smashing if it hit the ground? A glass? “If you drop a mug, it doesn’t always smash on the ground. It’s not inevitable! You don’t know the future!”

Geoff roared at the alien. “All of that, just so you’d get another attempt at some dumb political maneauvering? The things you made Jeremy suffer through alone.And Zancudo! We tortured each other! We died ! We killed each other! And thousands of others, in a thousand universes.”

“Necessary,” The alien replied, getting impatient. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh no, I understand perfectly,” Geoff pointed at the alien, “and how many universes are there, where it didn’t all line up perfectly? Universes where we made it through Zancudo, but no further. Or Jeremy couldn’t get us to listen to him. Or Prince James had an aneurysm before making it to Los Santos. Maybe I stepped off the curb wrong and bashed my head in. What happens to those universes? Do you just abandon them?”

The thousands of lives Geoff had experienced in the last few months flashed across his eyes. All the Geoffs, the Ryans, the Gavins, the Michaels and Jacks and Jeremys. On the rare occasion, the Lindsay and the Ray. A thousand more. A million. Each just as rich, as vital as the lives he had known in his own universe.

God they loved, and they did it just like him.

“The only thing that matters is continuing the chain,” The alien said. “It was a mistake telling you any of this. You don’t understand.”

“No, I think I understand more than you wanted me to.” Geoff argued back, his heart pushing the words against his teeth, past his tongue. “Or you thought because you don’t care about these lives, I wouldn’t either. We’re just simple three dimensional tools to you.”

Geoff’s eyes caught on his hand. The mismatched, glitched mess of tattoos glared back at him.

“You’re the reason I look like this now, aren’t you? You tried to tug me out of the Dark God’s hands and almost ripped me apart. But you stopped, because you need me to continue this dumb chain.”

This chain of Geoffs. Was that all the aliens cared about?

“You need the chain too,” The alien hissed. “Without it, you wouldn’t have your other little humans around. Your crew? You need the chain just as much as we do.”

“But here’s the thing,” Geoff was cocky now, stabbing fingers at the alien wearing his skin, “I’ve been to a bunch of universes without your grubby fourth dimensional fingers fucking them up. And some of them suck, but in so many of them we find a way to meet anyway. We even get along.”

Geoff smiled, and it was soft. “There are so many different ways to be happy.”

He crossed his arms, strong and resolute.

“So I’m not gonna shoot any UFO down over Mount Gordo. I’m not putting any more Fakes through the same suffering I did. So you can either kill me or take me home, I don’t care which at this point. It’s over. No more chain, no more dying. You can figure your own shit out without involving me.” Geoff put up both his middle fingers. “Eat a dick.”

The alien smirked.

“Oh Geoff, there are so few universes where it all aligns perfectly, as you said. It’s easiest if you play along, but don’t think for one second you have any say in the matter, or that we’re leaving this to chance. You’re made of strings and you’d make an excellent puppet, just like the Geoff I’m wearing now.”

There was a cyan flash behind the alien’s eyes, and Geoff’s arms moved without his bidding, dropping down to his sides. Geoff tried to move backwards, but his arms held steady.

The blood drained from Geoff’s face.

“See you soon, Geoff.” The alien said. “There aren’t too many universes between here and Mount Gordo.”

“No, wait-”

The hypercube flashed at full brightness in an instant. Geoff watched his hand spin the hypercube and the universe faded away.

Another dead world.

Geoff fell backwards onto a pile of ash. A great plume of it billowed up around him and he rolled out of the middle of it.

His arms were his own again.

Geoff covered his mouth and nose with Ryan’s jacket and skirted away from the ash, now content to rain down around him and drift along in a slight breeze.

There was ash and rubble for as far as Geoff’s eyes could see.

“I just spoke to an honest to God alien,” Geoff said into the haze, “and they were a cunt.”

Geoff waited the 163 minutes until the hypercube recharged staring at his phone, watching the digital clock tick, lost in thought. He wore the face mask he picked up half a lifetime ago, protecting his face while the ash piled up around him.

Nothing happened once the hypercube recharged. No more aliens appeared, threatening to use him like a puppet again. He gave it another 10 minutes just to be certain, and spun the hypercube of his own accord.

The journey between universes was gentle, Geoff noticed. He supposed the last few would have been the same, but he hadn’t been paying attention.

But now that he had been, the transition between universes was smooth as silk. Nothing tore at his gut, nothing felt like it was being torn apart. It was a nice change of pace.

“What the fuck?” Alt-Geoff said, almost falling over in his scramble to put some distance between him and Geoff.

Some things didn’t change.

“Eugh,” Geoff said eloquently, rising as quickly as he could. There was grass beneath him and it was damp. He wiped his hands against each other to get the grass off and gave Alt-Geoff an appraising look.

“Living people, nice.” Geoff said.

“He just came out of you!” Ryan shouted and levelled a spear at him.

“Wow, really? A spear?” Geoff said.

“Too good for a spear, huh?” Michael said from his left, and Geoff turned to lock eyes with the sharp end of a sword. His eyes focused halfway down the blade and came to a stop right at the very tip. Geoff blinked a couple of times.

“Alright, alright,” Geoff raised his hands in a placating manner, “you can put the weapons down. I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

“How are you here?” Alt-Geoff said.

Geoff held up his arm with the hypercube wrapped around it. “I’m from another universe. This device lets me travel between them.”

“That thing is a magic cube?”

“Oh it’s not magic,” Geoff scoffed, “it’s alien technology.”

Ryan lowered his spear and stepped closer.

“Then how does it work?”

Geoff sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. “That’s a little out of my paygrade to answer-”

A llama sniffed him.

“Oh Jesus-” Geoff almost fell back down on the wet grass in shock.

Ryan laughed, light and airy, and Geoff heard Michael and Jack in the background do the same.

Looking around more carefully, Geoff noted there were about a dozen llamas encircling the group. Jeremy, Gavin, and Jack were holding leads and keeping the rest of them from approaching.

“That’s just Ed,” Ryan said, giving Ed’s head a pat, “he don’t bite.”

“Does he spit?”

“Only when he needs to.”

“Why do you guys have so many llamas?”

“Are you kidding?” Jeremy piped up. “They’re the best way to get stuff across Los Santos.”

“You don’t have… okay. You have llamas.”

Alt-Geoff gave the llama next to him a pat and showed off the saddlebags it was carrying.

“We’re taking goods all the way up to Paleto Bay,” Alt-Geoff explained, “do you want to come with us, O Geoff from another universe?”

“I’m just passing-” Geoff cut himself off.

The aliens wanted him to get through as soon as possible. They had a path planned out for him, a safe one.

Like hell Geoff was going to let them lead him around anymore, not after all the shit they put him through. And if this was a safer universe, without all the upheaval the other universes had put him through?

Then Geoff was going to stay as long as he wanted. Anything to keep him away from Mount Gordo and starting another loop for another Geoff.

“You know what?” Geoff said. “Sure.”

It turned out, Geoff was told sternly, that he could not ride a llama. The goods were more important and Geoff had two (mostly) working legs. Geoff had good quality shoes too, shoes he paid a fortune for and got custom made to withstand the punishment his heists would put them through, all while looking completely stylish. His shoes had lasted him so far, buried in blood and dirt and ash, but Geoff wasn’t sure if they’d take him to Paleto Bay. Walking all day for two days had done a number on them.

Considering the blisters on his feet and the charged hypercube around his arm, he wasn’t sure if it was worth it, staying in this universe.

“It’s about two weeks walk to Paleto Bay,” Jack had told him back on that first day, “we go through the mountains. Some people say the west coast is better, but you never know who you’ll meet. Besides, the bridge is down over the swamplands and you’d have to head quite a distance inland to get around.”

All around them were ruins. Buildings Geoff would have recognised if they were in better condition were little more than piles of bricks at this point, poorly preserved. Los Santos City, Geoff had been told, was mostly rubble that the decades had worn smooth. Maybe even centuries. Small settlements had moved in and reshaped it to make it a home once more.

The group took a break halfway up a mountainside and Geoff supposed this was somewhere in the suburbs, judging by how far they were from the ruins of the city. Alt-Geoff had to point it out to him because the new city barely made a dent in the skyline.

“So what happened?” Geoff asked.

“We don’t really know,” Jack answered, “it was before our time. People are digging through it and trying to piece the puzzle together.”

Geoff ran some fingers through his beard. “The whole world must have ended.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Nobody came back and rebuilt it,” Geoff explained. “That’s what usually happens if there’s a disaster of some sort. You don’t just start again from scratch with swords and spears instead of… advanced technology.”

“Advanced technology?” Gavin piped up.

“Like weapons?” Ryan added.

“Here,” Geoff fished his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Gavin, derailing that part of the conversation. “It doesn’t have much power left, but you might get a good half hour out of it.”

Geoff showed him how to unlock it and how the screen worked, and Gavin ooed and ahhed appropriately.

“What’s this? What’s a camera? Oh!”

Geoff smiled. “Of course that’s the first thing you find.”

Gavin blinked. “Wow… there’s a lot of pictures in here. Pictures of us! You really must be from another universe.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow at that. “You let me walk with you for two days while not really believing my story?”

Gavin shrugged. “Just sounded like you were trying to explain magic.”

“It’s not magic .”

“Then how does it work?”

“Well it’s electricity and programming and-” Geoff sighed. “Yes, it’s magic.”

“You don’t have to be ashamed of using magic,” Alt-Geoff said, “Michael is magic too.”

“No I’m not .” Michael said, driving his foot into the ground as he did.

“Shut up, Michael.” Alt-Geoff saddled up close to Geoff. “He doesn’t like to bring it up, but it’s gotten us out of a scrape or two.”

“ Shut it ,” Michael said. “It’s not even true.”

“Why don’t you show him-”

“Geoff I swear to God-”

“I’m done! Fine, I promise, I’m done!”

Michael had half drawn his sword, the metal glinting in the slowly darkening sky, but Alt-Geoff seemed happy to back off after that. Michael sheathed his weapon and they set about lighting a fire.

“Take a sheet of paper on a table,” Geoff said to the group around the campfire, “You have tables, right?”

The whole group scoffed.

“We have tables, Geoff,” Jeremy said, feeding a llama, “you just don’t see them so much mid walk.”

Geoff recognised the llama as one named Monster.

“Well you’ll have to excuse me,” Geoff said, “for not knowing the full extent of your table technology.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck yourself.”

Michael and Ryan maneuvered a surface into place over Geoff’s knees. It looked remarkably like a tabletop. 

Jack fished around in a bag and withdrew some thick paper to hand to Geoff. It was a letter with real ink written on it, and a broken wax seal. A chicken or something was stamped into it, as well as a set of teeth.

Geoff flattened it as well as he could and rolled his shoulders.

“Imagine this piece of paper is a person,” Geoff began. The group quietened down to watch and listen, the only sounds the wind, the fire, and the llamas.

“They move around, doing whatever.” Geoff dragged the paper across the tabletop. “And this is their whole world, okay? They only ever see the flatness of the table. They don’t see the fire, or us, or those llamas.”

“Why not?” Gavin asked.

“Because they weren’t built to. Look, I’m trying to explain something very complicated here, so if you wouldn’t mind bearing with me, okay?

“They can only see what’s on the surface of the table. What do they see if I poke the table with my finger?” Geoff demonstrated the action.

“Uhhh…” Michael said.

“A finger.” Alt-Geoff said with confidence.

“They’d see just the part that touched the top. And if you flatten your whole hand out,” Geoff pressed his hand against the tabletop, “they’d see a handprint just appear out of nowhere. If I wiggled my fingers, they’d see those little shapes appear and disappear. Would look just like magic.”

“What?” Jeremy said. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

“The point is,” Geoff spoke with some heat in his voice, “there are things happening around the piece of paper that it can't possibly comprehend or control. But they’re happening nevertheless.

“Now what happens if I do this?”

Geoff pulled two ends of the paper together, creating a bump in the middle. “Wow, to the piece of paper, its entire middle just disappeared!” Geoff flattened the paper. “And now it’s back! And I can move the paper anywhere I want on the table, and it can’t do a thing to stop me!”

Geoff grabbed the paper in both hands.

“And if I wanted to, I could just tear pieces off and just stick them somewhere else-”

“Geoff,” Jack cut in, “hey. Don’t ruin that letter.”

Geoff deflated, the manic energy leaving as quickly as it came. “Sorry. No, I wouldn't do that. But I could. So, that’s how extra spacial dimensions work. We’re,” Geoff cast a hand up to the sky and around him, “living on our own tabletop.”

“Woah,” Michael said.

“There’s more stuff about different mass and making your eyes bleed, but that’s the gist of it.”

“Wait, do we need to know about the bleeding-”

“Nah, that’s just details. Don’t worry about it.”

Geoff flattened the paper back down and gathered his thoughts.

“Now imagine there’s a line of tables with paper on them. Just a… big long line of tables, stretching past the horizon. If I wanted I could pick the paper up and move it to the next table, and move the paper from that one to the next table, and so on, and so on.”

“Hilbert’s paradox,” Gavin said.

“What?”

“You know, the one with the hotel rooms. I read about it in a book.”

“No?”

“Alright, nevermind.”

“Let’s say you need to get this sheet here to a table, say, ten along? You can just drag the sheet across all the tables to get there. But then some dickhead comes by and just-” Geoff moves the paper perpendicular off the table and away from the hypothetical line of tables stretching into the distance. “Woosh. We’re sliding across tables in a new direction, no idea where we’re going. Seeing all kinds of weird shit. It’s awful and fun but mostly awful, but now we’re being dragged kicking and screaming to the tenth table along.”

Geoff paused, the letter clutched tightly in his hand.

“Wouldn’t that make you want to…”

Geoff blew a sharp breath under the edge of the letter, and it caught the air and twirled off into space. It hovered close to the fire and spiralled high up in the air, eventually coming down near a grazing llama. 

“Take what freedom you’re given and ride it as far as you can?”

The campsite was still for a second or two.

“And this is freedom, for you?” Jack said.

“Yeah, it is. That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I’m still here, even though all this walking sucks dick.”

Geoff picked the letter up and handed it back to Jack.

“Thanks for the metaphor. You have no idea how much technical language about this I’ve forgotten. Branes and strings and gauge groups…”

“And you’re saying all this,” Ryan waved his arms around, “is just a tabletop?”

Geoff nodded.

Ryan frowned “I don’t like the idea of someone moving me around like a… a sheet of paper.”

Geoff hummed. “You and me both, pal. I don’t like the idea of someone or something just… hovering above me, in a way, just out of sight. I feel like if I look around it the right way, I’d see them, but I’m not the first of us to struggle with that. We’re looking at the tabletop and there’s not much we can do about it.”

“But…” Gavin said, “there’s nowhere else to look! There’s nowhere around that I can’t see!”

Michael snorted. “That’s what the piece of paper thinks too.”

A few days later, Geoff was given the privilege of feeding one of the llamas. It was the only llama Gavin was allowed to name, and “Gruchy” sedately chewed on some offered hay.

“I don’t think the Dan from my universe would find it funny,” Geoff told the llama, “but the things I would do to take a picture right now.”

“It’s kinda weird to see you talk to the llamas,” Michael said. “Our Geoff does it a lot, but it just doesn’t seem like your thing.”

Geoff scratched behind Gruchy’s ear. The llama didn’t react at all. “This guy seems willing to listen. Plus he has big ears. He’s built for it.”

Michael sniffed and led his two llamas through a tricky bit of the track. The grass had grown long over the dirt and stone and there were many hidden pitfalls. Geoff knew that now from more than enough experience.

The faint shape of Los Santos city was long behind them, and they were now surrounded with rolling hills. The rest of the group was about half a mile behind, checking on their supplies and cargo, and it was Michael and Geoff’s task to check the path ahead wasn’t flooded. Otherwise they’d have to go a different, more dangerous way to make it to Paleto Bay on time.

The river beside them was practically hidden by pine trees, the swish of branches in the breeze covering most of the sound of rushing water. It was the most pleasant white noise Geoff could recall experiencing in a long time.

Geoff scratched behind Gruchy’s other ear, frowning.

“Did you ever know a guy named Ray?”

Michael tensed. “We did. Died a few years back.”

“I’m sorry.”

Michael shrugged. “How do you know him?”

“I had a Ray in my old universe. Has a new life now, away from my family, but he’s just as happy now. The aliens- do you remember me talking about the aliens?”

Michael nodded and gestured for him to continue.

“They convinced him to leave. They told him it was for our own good and that nothing but death would follow if he stayed. Convinced him with a hundred terrible visions, and so he left. And we survived. But I’ve been wondering the whole trek what would have been if he stayed.”

“If you would’ve…” Michael trailed off.

“Died? I don’t think we would have. Ray was… powerful, in a way none of us knew about. He lived with us for six months and never said a word about it.”

Geoff smiled, and it was bittersweet. “Communication was never our strong suit. But he needed to go so other stuff would happen at the right time in the right place.”

“You said that was where Jeremy came in?”

“Ray left, Jeremy came, and it was over two years after that I got saddled with this.”

The hypercube glowed as bright as Geoff had ever seen it, almost pulsing with light.

“That’s a hell of a long plan.” Michael commented.

“It is. I have no idea how the aliens could plan something for so long across so many damn universes. I get the feeling that these great and terrible bits of tech they’ve left us are really table scraps.”

“It’s more than we have.”

“Well it’s more than we had too.”

Michael shot him a look. “You have technology that lets you communicate across the globe in a second. Take instant pictures. Vehicles that fly across the sky. And you’re complaining that the alien’s technology isn’t enough?”

“No, it’s just… it’s funny how they could prepare for so much but they didn’t know a thing about this signal that’s been following me. For almost four years! Since the Corpirate!”

“They don’t know everything! They lost you for a while, didn’t they?”

“They did.” Geoff ran one hand down the llama’s neck while it sniffed his other hand for any more hay. “But they were supposed to know enough. When I saw that alien wearing my skin, I was terrified at first, but then I just wanted answers. And it was such an asshole about it, I felt I deserved a little more respect, you know? Going through all this crap for them. But they treated me like an idiot.”

“So you stopped.”

“Yeah, I stopped. If they don’t have a plan to get me home, then fuck them. I’ll make a home somewhere else. Somewhere new.”

Michael nodded. “The past is dead. Mourn it, then move on.”

He spoke like he’d said the words a hundred times before, in a monotone. Maybe it was a saying around here, but the words cut right through Geoff like a knife.

Should he mourn his Fakes?

And then it really hit him then, that he was never seeing them again. For the first time in a long while he thought of them not in some nebulous way, distant and faint. He thought of them like they were here, just out of reach, just beyond his perception, something real and true he could never have again.

He should have been mourning them the second the Corpirate’s helmet couldn’t help him, not wallowing in self pity. It was like they died and Geoff didn’t even notice.

Guilt ripped through him, then grief, rolling through him like thunder.

“It’s really it, isn't it.” Geoff choked out. “It’s just me here.”

“Geoff?” Michael said, confusion on his face.

“I’m never gonna see them again, am I?"

“Hey, hey,” Michael dropped his llama’s lead and stepped over. “Come here.”

Geoff buried his face into Michael’s collarbone, and Michael held him tight.