Chapter Text
First off i need to get this off my goddamn brain.
The Supers
So im HUGE on lore, right? I love making elaborate shit up. Customs, traditions, myths, cultural specifics. That shit feeds me. But alien biology? Physiology? When the extraterrestrial individual is human-passing? THAT SHIT FEEDS ME. I love that Clark's origins are distinctly Jewish. But im here for the weird, freaky, distinctly not-human body shit.
So. Kryptonian teeth.
The facial/skull/skeletal structure for Kryptonians seems to be very close to human. If youve read some if my notes in past fics, you know I hc very tan kryptonians because they have a component in their blood that metabolizes sunlight like a plant does, except instead of being green, they just tan. Its one of my fave hcs.
I also like the thought that ultraviolet rays in Kryptonians are very much reflected and/or absorbed, particularly in their eyes/hair.
Kryptonians have blue undertones in their hair, no matter the color. It makes Kara's hair seem blonder than blonde, Kon's Jon's and Clark's hair blacker than black, and Christopher Kent's (clark and lois's foster son who was stuck in the phantom zone and is a full kryptonian) an odd shade of brown. They all have these odd violet undertones in tjeir irises that they wear glasses to hide and pray that nobody notices bc hey!! Its totally just the glasses!!
Kon and Jon are both 78.8/21.2% Kryptonian:Human. Why would extraterrestrial genes, even if they are compatible with human reproductive methods, be spliced evenly at 50/50? Im sure it happens but i like the interest that comes with the extraterrestrial genetics being more overwhelming. Very fun for me.
But. Teeth. Thats the point.
They look human. All the same number of teeth, the same jaw bone build, everything looks human. Clark and Kara have 4 sets of teeth. Their 4th set of teeth are their adult teeth and come in at the physical age of about 20. Kon and Jon only have 3 sets of teeth, the last set coming in at about 19 years of age. They all take very good care of their teeth because none of them know if they can get cavities and theyre all too scared to fuck around and find out.
The Bats.
- Bruce
Somwhere along his world travels, he just got his teeth replaced with titanium dentures or smthn and never looked back. Alfred didn't know for 2 years and it was the longest, loudest, most incredulous lecture of Bruce's entire life.
It helps when he's Brucie bc he only needs to polish his teeth a bit and he's good to go.
It also hurts like a moutherfucker when you try to punch Batman in the mouth and you hit fucking metal.
He bit a bitch once as Batman and its become a legend in the criminal underground.
Has perfect little dentures that are so nice and white but realistic.
Dick called him 'Fake Teeth McGee' for a year and two months when he found out. Dick was 15 when he found out.
Jason has always had to resist the urge to ask if he could weld a label to Bruce's front teeth that just reads 'Bitch' in cursive.
Damian and Cass dont know that he has fake teeth while Tim's known even before he knew Bruce was Batman.
Tim saw that bullshit smile from across a ballroom at age 7 and clocked Bruce's dentures in a minute. He told Janet and she just said 'I always knew he would lose his teeth before his hair' and that still keeps Tim awake at night.
- Dick
Has genuinely nice teeth. He has the teeth of a performer, nice and square, pretty even, very awesome smile. He's had a couple fillings done when he was younger but he genuinely takes really good care of his teeth.
Dick has his parents' smile. The dimples and the squareness, but the straightness of his teeth come from his Mom, so does the upper left tilt of his mouth when he grins. The first time he got punched in the mouth he started crying because what if he lost his parents' smile? The criminal in question nearly pissed himself because The Bat descended so fast and so furious that he still has nightmares years later.
Dick tries his best to not get caught in the mouth because no matter how much he loves bruce, no matter how much bruce is his dad, he still wants to remember his parents smiling at him every time he looks in the mirror.
He's got that million dollar smile, the dimples and all. Once a dentist asked if he could frame a picture of his smile on his desk so he could look at it when some of his other patients came in and he wanted to drown himself in the sink. Dick agreed because the man clearly didnt mean it in a creepy way and he looked actually exhuasted when he mentioned the other patients. The other man clearly had one specific patient in mind. Dick felt for the dentist and let him take the picture. The denstist was crying when Dick left. Dick switched dentists after that bc man you gotta draw the line somewhere.
- Jason
He was a biter, as in someone wanted to fuck with him? Chomp. He bit Dick several times pre-death (Dick was more of a spitter and could spit in someones eye from a foot away. It was a talent). He had an overbite, he needed cavities to be filled, he had to get braces. Jason died the week after he got his braces off.
Jason had a bit crooked teeth with a bit of crowding, which the braces mostly fixed.
The Lazarus Pit fucked his whole body up so now he has a bite force like a pitbull. His teeth are strong and its genuinely scary. You dont want that motherfucker to take a chomp out of you.
He can take a punch to the mouth like a champ and besides crotchshots, his go-to move as Robin was to slam peoples' mouth with his feet/fists/some random heavy object.
Only lost his last baby tooth in his zombie fugue and talia had no idea why he was crying but it genuinely scared her enough for it to be the catalyst to shove him in the pit.
What did yall want from her damian never cried when he yanked his own loose teeth out?? Jason was her emotional one and she wasnt sure how to handle him crying over his last baby tooth (Bruce used to sneak in and swap out the teeth for 20 dollar bills and jason was always awake when bruce would kiss him on the head before he left)
The Lazarus pit regrew that tooth really fast and Jason is 89% sure that its unbreakable.
- Cass
Her teeth were fucked. Her cuspid teeth were trained and shaped to be legitimate fangs by David Cain the fuckass. He wanted all of her to be a weapon after all. After she escaped, Cass just wandered about and didnt care about her teeth besides the fact that they helped her survive.
When she met Babs and Babs got to work making her official paperwork, Cass also had to get to the dentists (after getting her hair de-matted and de-loused and cut several inches off and to get her medicated hair treatments for the parasites living in her hair/on her scalp.) Cass had to get several baby teeth removed, multiple fillings, multiple root canals, and some corrective surgery to treat her teeth as well as medication for inflamed gums.
She has a gap between her two front lower row teeth. Her teeth are a bit tilted still and she has a bit of an overbite too even after all the dental work. She loves the gap. Its fun and nice and it makes her look cute when she smiles and Cass has never been allowed to think she is cute. So she keeps it.
Cass is very happy to have imperfect teeth. She can get why all that dental work to take place because she had no clue how much pain she was in until it was gone. But she still likes the slight imperfections of her teeth. She likes the gap. She likes the slight crookedness. Cass doesnt see why she would get any more dental work unless she needed a cavity filled.
Her two front teeth are ever so slightly larger than her other teeth.
Cass doesnt like the dentist. She brushes her teeth to avoid going. She also flosses because she believes the more she flosses, the less she has to go to the dentists. She took down several nurses and two dentists the first time she saw a tooth drill. Babs and Tim sat in with her for every appointment. She'll bite if pressed and it WILL draw blood.
- Tim
He was that one weirdo kid in class who would rip their loose tooth out during class due to sheer boredom and not even bother to inform the teacher. Would just get up for a tissue to clean up the blood.
Liked to study his teeth after rinsing them off and poke at the roots and look at them under a magnifying glass.
Once cracked open a pulled out tooth just to look at the insides and the boy sitting next to him turned to the side and threw up. Tim was sat alone in the back after that by the teachers.
He has a gap between his two upper front teeth and a small overbite. His cuspids are somewhat sharp, not exactly fangs but mlre like baby fangies and his molars, instead of flat and square, have odd, jagged edges.
Has had a couple fillings done. He and his parents used to forget his dentist appointment dates. He was mostly surprised he didnt need a root canal at some point.
Like Cass, his two front teeth are ever so slightly larger.
Never thought about getting braces. He doesnt have tooth pain or really overcrowding so he's fine as is.
- Damian
Round teeth but his cuspids are flat. Fairly straight, has not needed fillings/has not had cavities
He doesnt like how flat his cuspids are
He wants teeth like Bruce, mostly because he is unaware Bruce has fake ass teeth
But Dick is a close second, not that he would ever dare say that
He wishes his teeth were more sqaure like Dick's teeth privately
Likes drawing differences between human and animal teeth.
If he had to pick an animal to have teeth like, he would pick a cat's teeth
Drinks lots of milk》has strong teeth
Hes actually not that much of a biter.
But that kid will hang tf on if you drive him over the edge.
More likely to punch you in the mouth than you are likely to see him get punched in the mouth
still has baby teeth lol
Thinks the tooth fairy is evil and must be eradicated
Has tooth fairy traps by his bed and hipes nobody knows about them
Akfred and Dick know about them