Chapter Text
"...Careful, careful..."
"...This will break his heart..."
"...Someone go and fetch Thorin..."
"...Another smith while you're at it, get these chains off..."
Quiet voices floated around Fíli. He had the strange sensation of movement, although he was sure that he wasn't moving at all. He felt cramped and sore but when he tried to stretch out but something held him tightly in the same position.
"Don't move Fí, I've got you," a voice that sounded a lot like Kíli's came from above him. He tried to open his eyes to orientate himself but his lids felt strangely heavy and refused to comply.
"Is he waking?" Another voice - Dwalin - asked. There was a strange note of anxiety in his voice. That was a sound Fíli had never heard come out of the strong warrior.
"I don't know, maybe," Kíli's voice replied. He sounded exhausted. The tired, worn sound pulled at Fíli's heart and was enough for him to finally pry his eyelids open. He caught a glimpse of his brother's worried face above him and the bright sunlight before he sank back into beautiful oblivion.
His dreams were strange. Random, faces kept flickering in and out of his head: Ma, Balin, Dwalin, Óin, Thorin, and Kíli - mostly Kíli. They would say things to him, always in low voices, but he could never make out the words. He didn't know how much time went by as he alternated between floating in peaceful blackness and trying to make sense of the blurry faces and incoherent murmurs.
Fíli slowly opened his eyes. He felt warm and comfortable, two things he hadn't felt in a long time. He blinked a few times and waited for his eyes to focus. Bright sunlight was filling the room he was in. He realized he was in the bedroom he shared with Kíli, and strange noise, almost like a sleeping bear, was coming from the right side of his bed. He turned his head carefully and saw his uncle sitting next to him, fast asleep and snoring. He had dragged what looked like a chair from his office and set it in between Fíli and Kíli's beds, facing Fíli's. His head lolled to one side and Fíli did not envy the stiff neck his uncle would have when he woke up. As Fíli became more aware of his surroundings he felt a warm weight resting on his chest and soft breathing coming from his other side. Fíli turned his head to the left and saw dark tangled hair and two familiar brown eyes boring into his own.
"Are you really awake this time?" Kíli whispered. He was curled under the blankets and sharing Fíli's pillow. He rubbed Fíli's chest gently before bringing his hand up and grazing the backs of his fingers across Fíli's cheekbone.
"Kí..." Fíli rasped. He winced, using his voice made him aware of just how dry his throat was.
"Shh... One second," Kíli sat up quickly and turned to the nightstand. He grabbed a glass of water off of it and handed it to his older brother. Fíli took it and held it carefully as Kíli slid behind him and helped ease him into a sitting position. Fíli bit back a hiss of pain as he felt the healing wounds on his back stretch uncomfortably. "Sorry," Kíli said. He watched intently while Fíli drank and took the glass when it was empty. The water had tasted amazing, so fresh and clean.
Fíli cleared his throat, "Kíli," he began again, happy to note that his voice sounded more like normal, "Did you get injured?" He had to know that his little brother was well.
Fíli felt the vibration from his brother's chest when Kíli chuckled gently, "I am fine. You're the one we were worried about." He shifted his position slightly so he was more to Fíli's side but still able to support his weight. "You've been asleep for almost a week." Fíli's eyes widened at that. He didn't know it had been so long.
"A whole week?" he asked.
"Yes," Kíli's free arm, the one that wasn't helping to support Fíli, reached up. He ran his fingers over every part of his brother he could reach - his stomach, up his side, along his arm. He traced his jawline and over Fíli's face before combing through his hair. Fíli was used to Kíli's need to touch and allowed his brother to continue. With a hum of contentment, he nuzzled his brother's hand when it reached his face.
"For a while, Óin wasn't sure if you would survive. We were so scared," Kíli said once his hand had stopped its travels. He clung tighter to Fíli and buried his face in his hair, "Don't do that again," he mumbled into the golden locks. Fíli found himself speechless. He reached up and grabbed Kíli's hand in his own, squeezing gently.
A loud snort interrupted the moment. Both brothers turned their heads to Thorin as he jerked awake. Thorin cracked his neck loudly and looked to the bed. His mouth dropped open when he saw Fíli not only awake but sitting up with help from Kíli.
"How do you feel?" He asked, leaning forward, his intense gaze searched deep into Fíli's eyes. "
Fine, Uncle, just a little stiff," Fíli responded. He unconsciously pressed himself closer into Kíli's chest, trying to hide from the intensity of Thorin's eyes..
A strange emotion flickered in Thorin's eyes for a fraction of a second before disappearing. He leaned back before turning his face to Kíli, "How long has he been awake?"
"Only for a few minutes," Kíli replied. He didn't move, he just rubbed Fíli's arm with his thumb.
"You should have awakened me immediately," he stood fromt he chair and stretched out. His gaze flickered back to his oldest nephew, "I'll go retrieve Óin, he'll need to check you over." He turned stiffly and left the room. Fíli watched him leave and shame burned in his stomach. He knew Thorin would be disappointed in him but he hadn't expected him to act so cold.
"What did I miss?" He asked Kíli, trying to fill the silence and to get his mind off Thorin's abrupt exit.
"A bit," Kíli responded. He began catching Fíli up on all that had happened while he was unconscious, "Dwalin left with a small army the day after we arrived. He wanted to stay to make sure you'd be fine but he and Uncle talked and decided to go free all those men. Óin has been in here constantly to try and help you heal. You were ill, you know? Your fever was so high that your skin felt hot enough to burn. As if the blood loss and all those wounds weren't bad enough, you had pneumonia, too. Your fever broke the night before last, that's when we knew you'd survive," Kíli paused and took a deep breath. His hand started rubbing up and down Fíli's arm again, "Mother and Uncle have been trading shifts at your bed the whole time. I've never seen them so worried." He swallowed hard. His voice began to shake slightly, "We thought you might die." Fíli nodded as he processed all of the information Kíli was telling him. He hadn't realized how close he had come to death. He craned his neck and nuzzled into his brother's neck, an apology his extremely tactile brother would understand and appreciate.
After a moment, he realized that Kíli had left something important out. "Braenna?"
"Oh, she's doing very well," Kíli laughed, "She's managed to keep us all thinking positive, I don't think anything could dampen her spirits. She's staying with Balin for now and she gets along surprisingly well with Gimli. We haven't let her come see you of course, didn't want to scare her. Uncle was confused by her at first, he didn't understand who 'Uncle Gundin' was. Actually," Kíli paused thoughtfully, "I think she still insists on calling him Gundin no matter how much he corrects her." Fíli laughed at that. His heart felt lighter knowing that the child was flourishing. He turned slightly to look at his little brother and felt Kíli shift position as he turned to meet Fíli's eyes.
"And you?" Fíli asked. He knew Kíli would insist he was fine, but he still wanted to hear the words.
"I'm fine Fí, really," Kíli said.
Fíli stared at the warm brown eyes for a minute before the dark bags underneath them caught his attention. He frowned slightly, "Are you really? When was the last time you slept?"
"Um," Kili began, but was saved from answering by the arrival of Thorin and Óin.
Thorin stayed near the door with an unreadable look on his face but Óin come right up to the bed without hesitation and began asking Fíli questions about how he felt. Kíli slid off the bed and repeated Fíli's answers to the healer a bit louder, it was no secret that Óin was losing his hearing as he aged. Satisfied with Fíli's answers the healer began methodically tending to Fíli's various wounds, starting with the ones on his wrists.He unbandaged them, looked them over carefully, applied a salve that smelled lightly of lavendar, then carefully rebandaged them With the help of Kíli and Thorin, Óin carefully turned Fíli so he was laying on his stomach and began the process again on his back. Kíli held his brother's hand the whole time, keeping eye contact and speaking gentle words meant only for Fíli's ears. Fíli tried to keep his face impassive, aware of Thorin's stead gaze on him. He didn't want to give his uncle another reason to be disappointed. After a long while, the healer's gentle movements stilled. Kíli looked up at Óin with a questioning gaze and nodded once before returning his eyes to Fíli. He pressed his forehead against Fíli's temple as Óin took his minstrations lower. Fíli's clenched his hand around Kíli's and squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, focusing only on Kíli's voice and trying to keep the memories away.
Mercifully, the healer didn't take too long. He declared Fíli to be healing well before pulling Thorin aside for a private word. No soon had Fíli settled back on the bed, with pillows supporting him in a sitting position this time, did the door open again. Fíli looked over to it, expecting his uncle to come back in, but instead his mother, Dís, walked in carrying a large bowl. She walked over and sat in the chair previously occupied by Thorin, scooting it closer to the bed.
"Good morning," she said simply with a small smile, "Welcome back to the world of the living." Fíli grinned back at her and pushed himself up and at her. She caught him in a warm hug before gently pushing him back against the pillows. "Rest," she ordered, "How are you feeling?"
"Much better," he replied. A very tempting scent reached his nose and made his mouth water, "What do you have there?"
"Not much," Dís replied, wrinkling her nose, "It's just chicken soup. Óin said you may not be able to eat anything more substantial yet."
"It sounds perfect," Fíli said gratefully. He hadn't even realized how hungry he was. Behind him he heard Kíli stifle a yawn. "Take a nap, brother," Fíli said, turning to face Kíli, "You look as if you could pass out at any moment."
"I'm fine," Kíli said, yawning again.
"Kíli," Dis said in a no-nonsense tone, "Go to bed. Your brother's awake now, he's not going anywhere. Sleep." Kíli made a face and looked like he was going to argue, but any argument he may have was lost the moment he saw the look on his mother's face. Instead he moved farther under the blankets, curled against Fíli's side, and closed his eyes.
"In your own bed."
"This is my bed," Kíli slurred without opening his eyes. His breathing quickly evened out and his body relaxed into sleep. Fíli looked down at him for a moment, before turning back to his mother and accepting the soup she was offering him.
·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·
The next few days flew by. Fíli had been ordered by Óin to remain in bed for another ten days, and although he wasn't happy have to lay around for so long, at least he was never bored. His family hand ensured that he was never alone, even at night. Dís would sit by him most mornings, telling stories of her childhood and of Erebor. Fíli loved hearing about Erebor ever since he was a child, he would dream of defeating the dragon and reclaiming the home of his ancestors. Óin came everyday to check on Fíli's progress, and Fíli was glad that his examinations weren't as thorough as the first one. Even Balin stopped by a few times, and with him came Braenna. It took Fíli a moment to recognize the happy child he saw until she flung herself at him with a cry of, "Mister Fí!" She had told him all that had happened to her since arriving in Ered Luin and Fíli was happy to see her thriving.
Kíli was a constant presence. It had taken him nearly two days to leave Fíli's side for more than a few moments at a time, but he made sure to return and check up on his brother constantly. Between lessons and training he would pop into the room for as long as he could and spend his time with his older brother. When it was his turn to sit with Fíli, he would always have something to say and the brothers would be talking and laughing the whole time. He was still sleeping in Fíli's bed too, despite the attempts of the older dwarves to get him back to his own bed. Some nights Fíli would fall asleep alone only to wake up with his little brother once again snuggled into bed with him. He didn't mind it even though his family seemed to think he would. He enjoyed knowing that his brother was there.
Then there was Thorin. Thorin didn't spend too much time with Fíli and when he did it was anything but comforting. He would barely look at Fíli the whole time, preferring to stare at the wall above his head in stony silence. He never initiated conversation and would only respond with grunts whenever Fíli tried to say anything. Sometimes Fíli thought he would have preferred to be left alone instead of with Thorin.
This was the position he found himself in today. His mother had business to attend to and Thorin had come in to stay with him, bringing a plate of food for lunch. Fíli picked at the lunch, hardly eating any of the deer meat even though it smelled delicious. He kept looking at Thorin out of the corner of his eye only to find his uncle still staring resolutely at the wall. Finally, the silence became too much for him to bare any longer.
"Is it that hard to even look at me?" Fíli asked abruptly, his voice slightly less than a shout. Thorin's eye met his without a word so Fíli continued, "I know you're disappointed. Will you at least yell at me or something instead of sitting there in silence?"
"Wha..." Thorin's eyes filled with confusion.
"I should have fought harder, I shouldn't have allowed myself to get taken. I know that, but am I such an embarrassment that you can't even look at me, let alone speak to me? Have I shamed you that bad?"
"Fíli-"
"Am I no longer your nephew? I didn't mean for things to happen like this but-" "Fíli-" "-they did and I just want to know why you won't even look at me!"
"Fíli," Thorin said firmly, "I am looking at you, and I see nothing to be ashamed of."
"But you-"
"I should never have sent you to Dovalan in my stead. I don't blame you for anything that happened, the blame falls solely on me."
"Then why have you been ignoring me?" Fíli asked. Now he was confused, if Thorin wasn't disappointed in him then why hadn't he said more than two words to him the whole time?
"Because I thought you would blame me. I didn't want to make things worse for you by having to pretend you weren't angry."
"I'm not angry, Uncle. Not at you at least," Fíli said, he leaned forward and hesitated before placing his hand on Thorin's arm, "I thought you would be angry at me. An heir of Durin should never have been in my situation to begin with."
"No," Thorin stated, placing his large hand over Fíli's smaller one, "an heir of Durin should not have been in your position. But that was not your fault. That blame should rest upon the king of Dovalan. From what I understand, you performed admirably, better than most others would have in your situation."
"I have missed you, Uncle," Fíli said with a shaky voice.
Thorin pulled him into a tight hug, "I missed you, and I am so proud of you," He said thickly. Fíli rested his head against Thorin's chest and listened to his heart beat. More words of comfort were said and for the first time since returning home, Fíli felt that everything was right in the world. He could recover from this after all.
·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·~·
Nearly a week later and with Óin's, Fíli was finally allowed out of bed. Kíli was there to help him take his shaky first steps. Dwalin had returned the day before with news that King Harvaìn had been killed during the slave revolt. He had brought with him a man named Caraedry, originally from Rohan. It took Fíli all of 5 seconds to fingure out who the man was before a high voice behind him shrieked in glee, "Da!" and a mess of blond hair ran to the man and lept into his arms. They had left soon after, eager to return home. Caraedry had shaken Fíli's hand and thanked him for looking after his little girl. He left with and offer that if Fíli ever found himself in Rohan to find Caraedry for anything he may need. Fíli had thanked him for the offer and watched as the two disappeared from view with a small dwarven guard to lead them safely home.
It was a cool day when Fíli found himself sitting on the side of a hill, watching his brother practice archery down below. The sun was beginning to set, and he enjoyed the last of its light while he could. His wounds had healed well and were now little more than a memory. Every so often, Kíli would look up and wave when he saw that Fíli was still watching. It made him laugh, a reminder of Kíli as a small child always trying to impress his brother. He jumped slightly when someone sat down heavily next to him.
"He's getting very good, isn't he?" Thorin asked, motioning to where Kíli was practicing.
"I expect he'll be better than the elves soon enough," Fíli agreed.
Thorin snorted a laugh at that. "So," Thorin started. He paused for a second as his eyes swept across Fíli's face. "I heard that the rest of the slaves have returned home. The mines are empty now."
"That's good," Fíli replied, "Those men have done no wrong." They sat in a comfortable silence, watching Kíli continue practicing. Eventually the light began to fade, and Kíli packed his weapons and ran up the hill to his brother and uncle.
"What did you think, Fíli?" He asked excitedly.
"You were amazing, better than anyone else, I'm sure."
"Thank you, brother," Kíli gave a mock bow, "You know, Dwalin's been working with me on my swordsmanship a lot lately. I think I may be better than you by now,"
"Oh really?" Fíli asked. A small grin crept on to his face and he stepped quickly to the side and shoved his brother sideways, "I'm sure you would be no challenge for me."
"You'll pay for that," Kíli threatened, stepping closer to Fíli.
"Only if you can catch me first, little brother!" Fíli cried and ran back towards his home. Kíli sped after him.
Thorin laughed to himself as he watched his young nephews run. Fíli had begun to heal, but they still had a long way to go. He watch Kíli get closer and Fíli grabbed his brothers arm and wrestled him to the ground. They rolled around for a few moments before Fíli got the upperhand and took off again. Kíli chased after him, yelling threats and laughing the whole way. Yes, they still had a long way to go, but Thorin knew for sure that everything would be fine.