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English
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Published:
2019-04-12
Updated:
2022-06-09
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2,663
Chapters:
6/?
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69
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(Definitely Not) The SU Groupchat

Summary:

Legs: well i'm legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i'll never cheat ya!

Little Duck: biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorable

Legs: :D

Little Duck: biz

Little Duck: bizzzzzz

Little Duck: stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzz


Legs won't stop rhyming, Little Duck is her usual delightful self, and Biz should really just give up on getting people to call him 'The Business', literally no one does. So, in short, it's just another cycle in Fortuna, and a groupchat that absolutely isn't remotely connected to Solaris United. Nope. Not at all.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eudico created a chat with The Business, Little Duck, Legs, Ticker, Smokefinger, and Rude Zuud

Eudico renamed chat to Not the SU Groupchat

Eudico: have fun, I’ll be back in five

Little Duck: lmaoooo

Little Duck: love the name eudi

The Business: Is it, perhaps a little bit on the obvious side?

Little Duck: stfu its perfect

Smokefinger: to be fair, it IS a little on the neural sensors…

Legs: the taxmen are dumb, might as well have some fun :D

Smokefinger: exactly, my young compatriot. Exactly.

Legs: idk what that means but ok, ik i hope the chat name’s here to stay!

Ticker: me too Legs, it’s so obvious they won’t think it’s us :>

Smokefinger: reverse psychology!

Legs: idk what that is either uhhh sorry to bother ya

Ticker: yeah sure that

Ticker: aw you’re fine Legs you’re def not the only one

Little Duck: i just realized i legit don’t know anyone here except biz and eudi and mayyybe zuud if she actually says anything uhhh help

The Business: Please don’t call me “Biz”.

Little Duck: biz biz biz biz biz >:)

The Business: Sigh.

Ticker: Biz you do know literally no one calls you “The Business” except to your face right? it’s too much of a mouthful

Little Duck: you might have broken him lmao

Legs: well uhhh anyway i’m legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i’ll never cheat ya!

Little Duck: biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorable

Legs: :D

Little Duck: biz

Little Duck: bizzzzzz

Little Duck: stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzzzz

Ticker: well anyway, I’m Ticker :>

Ticker: officially I sell random bits of scrap

Ticker: unofficially… let’s just say I do what I can to stop repos and leave it at that

Little Duck: nice, never can go wrong there

Little Duck: so how bout you smoky

Smokefinger: uh

Little Duck: do you mind if i call you smoky cause im gonna do it anyway ask biz

Smokefinger: I do some mining, occasionally convince Tenno to do it for me because of the voiddamned quotas. nothing that interesting really. I do sell some things to them as well, though.

Ticker: lol who doesn’t sell some shit to the Tenno, really, I think we all do

Little Duck: lol yeah

Eudico: I leave for FIVE minutes

Eudico: but also, same.

Notes:

If you liked this fic, why not give my other Warframe ones a go? This fic is very, very loosely set in that universe, but it could easily take place in yours too. Or in any universe, really. Or even in canon. Y'know what, screw it, it's canon now sorry I don't make the rules. Solaris United absolutely has a group chat where they gossip about things like that one Tenno who keeps trying to get floofs but absolutely sucks at stealth. Or in other words, me. :<