Chapter Text
Dave stared at the ceiling, feeling hollow and numb, a feeling he could only describe as a high pitched ringing noise. It was a whole month since Dirk… passed but he couldn't seem to get over it. Dave never had a problem with death before but now the mere sight of blood made him sick to his stomach and bile threaten to spill from his mouth. He hated it. Why couldn't he just get over it already?! It just wasn't fair! Other people would be over this shit by now and fully fucking accustumed to their new android sibling but Dave just… couldn’t for some stupid fucking reason. Dirk wasn’t even a really good sibling!
He rolled over in his bed, looking right at the pile of sympathy cards on his desk. Some were disgustingly bright and colorful, others void of all colors, some even mentioning some cruel fucking god that didn’t fucking exist, as far as Dave was concerned. Those cards deserved to burn. People's sympathy meant nothing to him. He didn't know these people and he sure as hell didn't care about them. If they really knew Dave and wanted to wish him well, they would have said it to his face and left him alone.
He sighed and sat up, rubbing his stinging eyes before getting out of bed so he could eat something. He didn't eat yesterday and the pains were really getting to him, making his mood even worse. He grabbed a dirty hoodie and slipped it on before shuffling out of his room, dragging his feet, too exhausted to lift his legs up that much.
“Hey Hal, do we have anything to eat…?” Dave asked as he entered the kitchen, his voice barely above a whisper. It would have shocked Dave to hear his own voice so raspy and worn out if he didn't just spend hours crying without any water near him.
Hal looked up from the book he was reading and greeted Dave with a small smile. It looked unnatural. “Dave! I was just about to check up on you! I'll fix you some cereal and water.” Hal said happily, getting up from his seat to take care of his ‘little brother’.
“Thanks dude..” Dave mumbled and sat down at the table, pulling his hood up like he was trying to hide his pink face, dried tear tracks, and bloodshot eyes but it was useless. Hal knew he had been crying his eyes out. The whole fucking world knew it.
“Of course, Dave!” Hal replied, handing him a glass of water. He didn’t recognize the cup. “Dave, I wanted to ask you a few things if that's okay.” Hal said nervously as he poured Cheerios into a bowl. Since when did they have bowls?
“What's up?” He asked, careful and nervous. The new cup and the sudden bowl was making him nervous.
“When was the last time you contacted anyone outside of this house? Like, interacted with a human that wasn't Bro.” Hal asked slowly, trying to choose his words carefully. “I'm just worried and I know that humans tend to.. Need one another in times like these. They need the comfort of a fellow human, someone to talk to. Do you…. Have friends you can talk to..?” The android questioned warily, eyeing Dave like he was about to lash out, lightly setting the bowl of Cheerios and milk in front of him.
Dave wanted to snap, he wanted to yell and scream and tell Hal it wasn't any of his business but the fight quickly died in him before he could open his mouth. “I have friends. They just don’t wanna talk to me about stuff like this. Don’t worry ‘bout me dude, I’m honestly fine. Really.” He lied right through his teeth and gave Hal a small smile before dipping his plastic spoon in the milk, watching the cereal pool into it.
Hal eyed him and frowned. He knew Dave was lying and Dave knew that he knew he was lying. It was an old fashioned Mexican standoff but dumber and shockingly more tense. “Alright…. Why don’t you invite some of them over? Just to catch up with them. I’d love to meet your friends and talk with them as well, if that’s alright.” Hal suggested, returning back to the fake cheerfulness he had earlier, looking like some sort of maid in a hotel, pleased to clean up your mess but inside they were imagining stabbing you to death. Practiced kindness and some good acting. Dave mentally applauded his robotic brother, slightly impressed that he was getting the hand of manipulation and deception so soon.
“Nah.” He said and shrugged, sipping his water. It was cold and soothing on his sore throat, helping the slight ache in his brain. “I’m sure they’re busy and I don’t wanna bother them. Hey, do you wanna play some video games with me? That’s always fun as shit and I wanna destress a bit before I get back to work.” He smoothly suggested, watching Hal’s movements closely. He really wished he brought his shades with him.
“Hm? You… wanna play video games with me..? Uh, sure, go ahead and finish your meal, I have to do a few things first.” Hal seemed to brighten up, unaware of the attention being shifted away from Dave’s issues. Bingo. Dave watched as Hal moved around the kitchen, spot cleaning a few things, putting things away, occasionally leaving the room to do… Something. He eventually got bored watching his android brother and finished his cereal, gulping down the milk in the bowl before putting it in the sink.. The clean sink. There were still stains and scratch marks and dents but it was… Clean. Surprisingly so. Hal must've spent hours cleaning that shit.. Good for him.
Dave sniffed and grabbed his cup of water, making his way to the living room. There was a surprising lack of smuppets and porn, making Dave suspicious. Was Bro… aware of this? Was he moving out or some shit? The fuck was this, where was all their stuff? He slowly made his way to the futon, noticing it was also fairly clean, stains still present but there was no longer a layer of crumbs on it. He felt more and more on edge as he wandered through the apartment, scared from the lack of items that were usually there. He set his plastic cup on the coffee table and looked around, looking for anything that could be a trap but there was nothing. No trip wires, no buttons, no pressure plates, no cameras, no sensors.. Dave thought he would enjoy the lack of traps but it just set him on edge, made him even more paranoid. He didn’t like this, it felt too good to be true. No traps, bowls, food, water, a nice person in the house…. He must’ve been killed or something. This was.. This was all just too good to be true.
Dave looked around one last time, looking for anything that could be a trap, anything that could hurt him and slowly made his way back to his room to fetch his shades. The light from the TV was going to hurt his eyes if he didn’t grab them. The sound of Hal moving and walking around made him feel even more on edge. Occasionally, he thought Hal was purposely making noise. Maybe he was trying to distract him from whatever trap Bro had going on. That’s what Dirk would have done and, well, Hal was Dirk. The only time Dirk ever made noise or wanted to hang out was when he wanted something or was distracting him. Honestly, he was kinda glad that fucker offed himself.
You are Dave Strider. You are nine years old and crying in your brothers lap as he cradles you, rocking you back and forth to comfort you. He was supposed to be hanging out with his friends but he was there, comforting you because you had a nightmare.
“Shh, it's okay Davey. You're okay, you're okay. I'm here for you.” He murmured before kissing your head, listening to your sobs.
“You- I- I had to cut off your head! I had to, I'm so sorry!” You cried out loudly, clinging to Dirk like he was your lifeline. “A-And then you had a big- you had a big sword in-in your chest! It was so s-scary!” You sobbed, only able to think about how scary it was
“Oh Dave..” Dirk whispered sympathetically before squeezing you again. It all sounded artificial but you were too terrified to notice. “It's okay, it was only a dream. It's okay, these feelings are normal . I'm not going to leave you, don't worry. Never ever. It was only a bad dream, little man. We’re okay.” He whispered to you before kissing your head again, humming a song you made together as he continued to rock you and your trembling body. You knew he was faking all of this, even at age nine, but you were desperate for comfort.
“Dave? Do you know a Jake English and a John Egbert?” Hal's voice called out, startling Dave out of his thoughts.
Dave grabbed his shades, sliding them on and silently panicked. He was wearing days old clothes, he had obviously just been crying and he looked like absolute shit. He, also, was not mentally ready to talk to people, he didn’t have any good lies set up. Why were they there anyway? Did they need something?
“Uh, yeah!” He called back, flinching at his own hoarse voice. Fuck. He combed his hands through his hair and quickly went to the door, seeing Hal staring down the people that stood there. Hal was very obviously confused on how to greet them or to even let them in, his head tilted slightly to the side as he squared them up.
Jake was glaring right back at Hal, his arms crossed. “See! I told you we knew him! These gosh darned robots- ”
“I’m an android, you block of fucking expired cheese.” Hal’s nose wrinkled and he glared at Jake, his synthetic muscles tensing under his clothes, getting prepared for a fight.
“Oh shit.” Dave mumbled and flash stepped to his brother's side, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, chill bro. Jake doesn't like technology, ‘s cool. Uh, why are y’all here?” Dave questioned, not even making an attempt to move Hal who was now very determined to keep these strangers out.
“Dave! For fucksake, I've been trying to contact you for weeks!” John ignored Dave's question and hugged his best friend tightly, ignoring Hals confused look like he ignored Dave's question.
“I've been……. Things. I've been doing things- busy! I've been busy.” Dave lied, no moving when John hugged him. He felt like shit for just ignoring him but he simply did not have the energy to talk to him or deal with his sympathy. “Sorry.” He apologized, looking away from John's hurt expression when he was finally released from the hug.
“Dave, old chap, we’ve all been worried sick about you, ya know. You suddenly just went off the grid and did not respond to anything! We were worried that you-...” Jake trailed off but what he was implying felt like a ton of bricks falling on Dave.
“No, Jake, I didn't kIll myself.” Dave spat out bitterly, crossing his arms. Something he did must've triggered Hal, the android moving to lightly rub Daves upper back in soothing circles. It didn’t help but the sentiment was still appreciated.
“Dave, don't be a fucking dick. We were fucking worried about you! No one was getting anything from the Strider household, our parents couldn't even get in contact with your bro! It was like you just fucked off to god fucking knows where! And, obviously, we had some reason to be concerned! Dave, you look like shi-”
“I know!” Dave interrupted his best friend, flinching at the sound of his own voice. He felt like shit, he knew he looked like shit, he didn't need John to tell him this. “I’ve just been having…. a bit of a hard time but I’m fine now, I swear. I’ve been working on some old music, remixing it and shit so I haven’t had the time to contact y’all. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left time get away from me that easily. Why don’t y’all come sit inside for a lil while? You must be pretty tired from all that worryin’.” He easily drawled, stepping aside so Jake and John could walk in.
Jake walked right in, stiff a bit huffy from his little run in with Hal but John hesitated, squinting his eyes behind his glasses. He felt bad about lying to his friend but he just couldn’t deal with his sympathy right now. John was a great guy and his best friend but he did tend to.. Meddle when worried. It sucked and felt extremely invasive. But, John seemed to chill out a bit and walked in, following Jake into their apartment.
“Gadzoinks! I’ve never seen this place so.. Clean!” Jake exclaimed, poking the futon like he was shocked it wasn’t attacking him. John frowned at the cleanliness, also seemingly uneased by the sudden lack of traps.
“Oh, Dirk cleaned it. I think.” Dave mentioned, shrugging like it was no biggie. If Hal really was a Strider, he was going to get very uncomfortable by any sort of praise so it would be best to act like this was all just not biggie, like it happened everyday. But John knew better. He could see how nervous Dave was but was luckily smart enough to not mention it in front of Hal or Jake.
“Goodness! I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dirk clean everything outside of his own room!” Jake chuckled at his own ‘joke’, looking around the place in a way that seemed normal but Dave knew Jake was just snooping. The guy had a natural curiosity, that was fine as long as he didn’t snoop in the bedrooms. Then he’d get his ass beat. That was the way of life. Pretty sure the bible said that at some point.
“Hey, Jake, why don’t you catch up with Dirk while I talk with Dave?” John suggested, smiling with his buckteeth and blue braces, his eyes crinkling in the corners from his chubby cheeks. John could always pull off a fake smile.
“Smack-a-roonie good idea chap! Dirk, come sit with me so we can discuss somethings! I have this new admirer who you will absolutely love!” Jake exclaimed excitedly, plopping down on the couch dramatically, patting the seat next to him harshly. His combat boots hit the carpet with a thunk, knocking dried mud off them. Gross. Hal was going to beat his ass for fucking up the carpet.
Dave gave Hal a glance before following John to his room, feeling tense and unsure. Was John going to confront him? Was he going to yell at him? Was he going to be dissapointed, pissed, sad? Hal either didn’t notice Daves silent plea for help or didn’t care, sitting next to Jake to discuss Jake’s new fuck toy or whatever. He really really hoped this didn’t end up like last time Jake talked about a new crush.
You are Dave Strider. You're watching your brother fight with his boyfriend in the kitchen, the two shouting and arguing loudly. You were too scared to leave your spot on the couch, watching them with a terrified expression. You knew Dirk would turn his anger onto you the second Jake left and you really didn’t want to irritate him more by being in his line of sight.
“I FUCKING KNOW YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING AROUND WITH THAT GIRL LIKE YOUR A GOD DAMN RABBIT!” Dirk shouted, his body shaking with rage.
“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME AND WHAT I DO WITH ARANEA! AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN MATTER IF I DID BECAUSE IT'S ONLY BLOODY NORMAL FOR A MAN TO CHEAT WHEN HIS BOYFRIEND WON'T PROVIDE ENOUGH AFFECTION BECAUSE HE'S A BLOODY FREAKIN’ ROBOT!” Jake shouted back, practically looming over Dirk who was seething, almost frothing at the mouth. The two always seemed to fight like animals, determined to just.. Kill each other or tear each other down. You don’t know why they were in a relationship.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GOD DAMN APARTMENT BEFORE I KICK YOU IN THE NUTS SO FUCKING HARD THAT THEY GO INTO YOUR DAMNED THROAT AND CHOKE YOU!” Dirks voice pierced your ears, hurting your head. You hated hearing them shout at each other, it always gave you bad headaches. You really wished they’d just stop.
Dave felt a shot of pain run through his head at just the memory of them fighting. Or it could be the fact he didn’t wear his shades before leaving his room. Stupid, dumb, sensitive eyes… Dave cleared his throat and shut his door behind them quietly, eyeing John nervously, who just sat on his bed like this was his own room. “Sit.” John ordered and crossed his arms, fixing Dave with a glare. It was always hard to believe John could be terrifying or scary, his baby face and braces and dimples making it difficult to ever see him as scary but his eyes…. They were scarily intense.
Dave sat next to his best friend as ordered, nervously tapping his foot on the carpet, not looking at John. He knew John would never hurt him, John has never hurt him on purpose, but that never stopped the fear of getting hit. Instead of stinging pain, Dave felt arms slowly wrap around him and hold him close, hugging him. The tension slowly seeped out of him and he let himself be dragged into Egberts lap, seeking comfort.
“Dave… I was so worried about you. You have to tell me when you aren’t doing so great.” John whispered, gently rubbing his back. John was average height and pretty chunky but they both somehow found a way to cuddle comfortably despite their different body types.
“I’m sorry……. I just….. Didn’t expect this to be difficult.” Dave whispered back, resting his head on John's collarbones, his nose brushing against John's neck. If he didn’t have any self control, he’d be a huge blushing mess but he managed to get over his big weirdo crush on John a while ago.. Probably. Jury was still debating that one. Dave could practically sense John's frown and confusion. John knew he didn’t like Dirk and was probably just as confused as he was as to why he was so.. Sad.
“You wanna talk about it…?” John questioned quietly, curiosity evident in his voice. John was such a nice guy but he kinda sucked at hiding his emotions. Dave just shook his head and felt immense relief when John nodded and held him tighter, comforting him better than anything. John was his comfort item. He always seemed to know exactly what to do to get him to calm down.
“So……. You’re new brother is really fucking weird. Did he stress clean or something?” John questioned, his dorkiness coming back in full swing with the dumb voice cracks and everything. It was enough to make Dave smile but only a little bit.
“I have no idea, honestly, he just started cleaning and I didn’t bother stopping him. It’s kinda nice though, I ate cereal out of a bowl today. Oh, I’ve also named his Hal because that motherfucker can not act human for the life of him. I don’t think he realizes he’s deviating by implying he’s not human but hopefully Jake doesn’t notice him doing that. He kinda reminds me of a video game character, almost. A character that gained sentience and is trying to fit in with us normie humans.” He rambled, watching John’s throat move.
John snorted, laughing a bit and subsequently jostling Dave. “He is! Like Link! But he actually talks! Dude, that’s so on par with him, jeez. I was wondering why he seemed so weird. Dirk wouldn’t’ve answered the door or probably made us climb up the fire escape to prove our worth or something.” John joked, resting his head on Dave. “Jeez…. Well, he seems pretty cool. Hal, I mean. I kinda wanna meet him and get to know him more but… Later. I wanna chill out with you first.” John squeezed Dave for a few seconds, nuzzling him like a complete dork.
Dave rolled his eyes and wiggled around, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position for cuddling. “Bet. Bring you’re best fucking cuddles, dude.”