Chapter Text
Jack and Sarah had kissed, once, after Jack turned the corner in Governor Roosevelt’s carriage. However, while most people, after kissing, will part and look at each other lovingly or at least with some form of passion or attraction, Jack Kelly and Sarah Jacobs, after parting from their admittedly very awkward kiss, looked at each other and started laughing.
Obviously neither of them meant it. It was the sort of kiss that typically happens between two girls or two boys, accidentally kissing and then looking back at each other and remembering that there was no way in hell either of them would ever actually feel the feelings the kiss entailed, and laughing at the fact that they thought they could for a half-second enough to kiss.
They laughed about it for a good thirty seconds, and then abruptly turned away from each other to look at literally anything else at all, Jack’s eyes landing on David and Sarah’s on Katherine, and the four of them headed out, Jack and David to sell papes, Katherine to tag along and interview them, and Sarah to follow for emotional support.
By evening, Sarah was vaguely sure that Jack had forgotten about their kiss. However, noticing his look of embarrassment when they made eye contact at dinner (Esther had invited Katherine and Jack to stay for dinner), she understood that whatever the case may be, they definitely needed to talk about it.
So, after dinner was over and everyone was sitting around at the table or on the couch, Sarah looked at Jack and said, “Can we talk? On the fire escape?”
He looked like there was a gun pointed right between his eyes and, slowly nodding, followed her out.
When they were outside, neither looked at each other or said anything until Jack took a remarkably deep breath and said, all at once, “Why’d you kiss me?”
She turned to him and smiled, a laugh dancing just behind her lips. He returned the expression, though his eyes expressed a degree of worry.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, I can’t— well, I don’t— I don’t exactly know how to put this without thoroughly freaking you out, but I, well, I can’t really easily love you. Or well— I suppose I could, but at the moment, my affections are, um, otherwise devoted.”
Jack’s face immediately melted into relief, and Sarah silently congratulated herself on her assumptions possibly being correct. “What do you— what do you mean?” he asked her, still unsure if he was in the clear.
“ Katherine,” clarified Sarah, and that one word was all Jack needed to audibly relieved sigh.
“Then you ain’t, like at all? For me?”
Sarah shook her head.
“Oh, thank God,” said Jack. He looked back at her, clearly realizing what his words could have come across as, and continued, “Not to say that there’s anything wrong with you, I mean you’re wonderful, I just— well—”
Sarah reached over and put her hand on his, smiling. “I know,” she said softly. “And David’s in love with you.”
Jack, who’s face had relaxed into the comfortable contentment that one’s does when one realizes they aren’t alone, now shot up to utmost attention, ears turning bright pink. “He does?” he asked, staring directly at her.
Sarah laughed. “Yeah. And he won’t shut up about you, either, so I think you should talk to him.” She smiled once more, and reentered the apartment, leaving Jack to stand on the fire escape alone with his thoughts.
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“Are you mad at me?” asked Sarah when she was back inside. She and Katherine were sitting on her bed, and David had gone to join Jack outside on the fire escape. She hoped they would work it out, mainly in self-preservation.
“No,” said Katherine, quietly, looking at the floor with her arms tucked around her legs, turned away from Sarah.
Sarah looked at her fingernails for a few more seconds, pondering what to say. Where did words go when she was around this woman? “Is it because I kissed Jack?”
Katherine didn’t respond, and Sarah looked at her, though Katherine didn’t meet her eyes. She looked hurt, the face you make when you were expecting something bad would happen from prior experiences, but couldn’t help but hope, and then that hope was crushed. She was hiding, even now, and Sarah had never seen her hide before. At least not to her.
“Katherine,” Sarah said, almost a whisper, and reached her hand out to trace along Katherine’s upper arm.
“It’s fine,” said Katherine, pushing Sarah’s hand away and putting her knees down, but still looking at the floor beside the bed and not at Sarah. “You deserve to be with the one you love.”
Sarah reached her hand down to Katherine’s and held her hand in hers. Katherine looked at her, eyes beginning to well up with tears. “Katherine,” said Sarah, “I am.”
Katherine smiled, for the first time that day just for Sarah, and a single tear ran down her face. “I owe Denton twenty dollars,” she said, and leaned in to kiss Sarah. It seemed there were violins playing major arpeggios over a soft flute drone and viola tremolo in the background, barely a pianissimo, but there nonetheless.
---
“So I guess you didn’t mean it,” David began when he entered the fire escape.
“Dave,” Jack said, but didn't elaborate.
“Everything,” David continued, “all of it. Everything you said to me, everything we did together, for the past two months, I mean. It’s stupid. I should’ve known.”
“Dave,” Jack said again, hoping that the other boy would listen to him.
David sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking Jack in the eyes with an expression that made Jack want to cry. “I— I thought we were… I thought you meant something else. But I see that you don’t, now. I’m sorry.”
Jack reached his hand out in a moment of split-second confidence, wanting more than anything to tell David everything, wanting to hold him to his chest and never let him go, wanting so many things that he knew for a minute he might never have, to cup David’s face. David jerked away, and Jack drew his hand back to himself. David returned his gaze to the railing.
“No,” said Jack. “I mean, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve— I didn’t— I mean, I did mean it. With you.”
“Don’t lie to make me feel better, Jack,” said David, bitterly.
“I’m not lying,” Jack said. “With Sarah it was… I didn’t mean it, with her. And I know she didn’t mean it, either. It was a mistake. I only ever wanted you.”
“Did you?” asked David, quietly, and looked at him again. “Did you mean it?”
Jack nodded. “More than anything.”
David smiled, just a little bit, and rested his head on Jack’s shoulder. Jack brung his arm around David’s shoulders, and they just stood like that for a bit, leaning on the railing of the fourth floor fire escape, overlooking the nearly deserted street, only a few lamps lighting it.
“You said Sarah—” David began, but stopped.
“What?”
“That she didn’t mean it either. I know, or at least I think I know, why, but I don’t know if she told you something different.”
“What do you think it is?” asked Jack.
“I think it’s Katherine.”
“Yup.”
“It’s Katherine?”
“Of course it’s Katherine. Who else would it be?”
“Theodore Roosevelt.”
Jack laughed. “Yes, your sister kissed me in an attempt to kill her feelings about the 36th governor of New York.”
“Well, I mean, you never know.”
“Nah,” Jack said, and looked over at David. “With you, I knew.”
David smiled and turned to kiss him.