A Tale Old As Time; The Uplottables Fight God And Traumatise Some Wizards

Series Metadata

Listing Series

• having a tattoo on your left arm and wearing leather constitutes to being a Death Eater apparently by ShiftyBells

  Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Gen
  • Work in Progress

  25 Mar 2025

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric
  • Edward Elric & Roy Mustang
  • Alphonse Elric & Roy Mustang
  • Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Maes Hughes
  • Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye
  • Olivier Mira Armstrong & Edward Elric
  • Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
  • Darius & Edward Elric & Heinkel
  • Edward Elric
  • Alphonse Elric
  • Roy Mustang
  • Riza Hawkeye
  • Maes Hughes
  • Jean Havoc
  • Harry Potter
  • Hermione Granger
  • Ron Weasley
  • Ginny Weasley
  • Fred Weasley
  • George Weasley
  • Molly Weasley
  • Arthur Weasley
  • Albus Dumbledore
  • Nymphadora Tonks
  • Remus Lupin
  • Sirius Black
  • Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
  • I can't tell if I'm forgetting characters or not
  • Denny Brosh
  • Maria Ross
  • Heymans Breda
  • Vato Falman
  • Kain Fuery
  • Darius (Fullmetal Alchemist)
  • Heinkel (Fullmetal Alchemist)
  • Crack Treated Seriously
  • Restored Alphonse Elric
  • Edward Elric Swears
  • Edward Elric Keeps Automail
  • Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy
  • Sassy Alphonse Elric
  • Sassy Edward Elric
  • Protective Roy Mustang
  • Occlumency (Harry Potter)
  • Ed and Al both got Flamel's symbol as tattoos
  • I couldn't resist
  • Alphonse Elric is a Little Shit
  • Edward Elric is a Little Shit
  • Edward Elric Stays In The Military
  • Manipulative Albus Dumbledore
  • Maes Hughes Lives
  • Parental Maes Hughes
  • Nina Tucker Lives
  • she's mentioned - Freeform
  • thats it
  • Ed's 19
  • Al's 18
  • Covers up plot holes with more plot holes so they cancel out
  • Chaotic Alphonse Elric
  • Chaotic Edward Elric
  • Ed: Fuck Around
  • Al moments away from murder: AND FIND OUT
  • Guest appearence from Ling via platonic declarations of love letters
  • The inherient bullshittery that comes with fucking around science and magic with no laws
  • Alphonse is a domesticated feral country boy
  • he has manners but will not hesitate to bludgeon you if you piss him off
  • Ed is an unholy blend of country and Briggs feral
  • Will bite and draw blood as a greeting
  • the almost telepathic link from surviving off of your brothers soul nutrients for 6 years

  Summary

  Wizards have a shortage of common sense and are convinced Big Brother is a practitioner of the Dark Arts, or a "Death Eater" in their words. All because he has a Tattoo, radiates, I-Can-And-Will-Kill-You-If-You-Look-At-Me-The-Wrong-Way energy, and is half-feral on a good day. (Courtesy of serving in Briggs for a year, Thanks, General Armstrong.)
  If there was one benefit Alphonse missed from that suit of armor, it was being able to hide his expressions from people he didn't like. Because this was -ahem- fucking stupid.

  Series

  • Part 1 of A Tale Old As Time; The Uplottables Fight God And Traumatise Some Wizards
  • Part 1 of You get a crossover and you get a crossover and everyone get's a crossover!

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  9,430

  Chapters:

  3/?

  Collections:

  4

  Comments:

  171

  Kudos:

  2,782

  Bookmarks:

  642

  Hits:

  41,375