Dumbledore cannot be explained
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Summary
"Why is that child on fire?"
With a weird scar, unexplainable happenings, and a cousin who's just a bit too interested in fire, Harry Potter's life can only be described as a chaotic, confusing mess. Then he turns eleven.
"I don't think I want to be sorted, Professor. I don't like the idea of being categorized." "5 Galleons she's an Eagle." "I am NOT taking that bet."
Features: a Dudley who doesn't hate his cousin but can't be described as good, Ron being an enigma, Hermione in a losing battle for logic, a large nose, narration, Quidditch Chaos, Hogwarts nonsense, random BS, the Weasley Twins, Luna being Luna, and a toad in a bowtie.
This is crack that follows what can be called a story. You have been warned. There is a narrative that loops through, especially as the chapters go on, but it's almost non-existent for the first 5 chapters and is still being developed in the most recent chapters
"Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick"
"This? Oh, it's a can of pure aerosol that I dumped some raspberry jam into"
"SIR YOU CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH MY HECKING CHEESE!"
2nd year complete. Stupid slow updates