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A Legitimate Businessman by Halberdier
Fandom: Homestuck, Midnight Crew - Fandom, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), Problem Sleuth - Fandom
18 Apr 2025
Summary
In a world slightly different from our own, an intrepid problem sleuth named Patrick Sloan attempts to hire a shadowy mobster known as Jack Vantas in the hopes that their respective teams of detectives and gangsters can take down two kingpins of organized crime: Lawrie English and a newcomer known only as DMK.
- Words:
- 82,233
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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Bookmark Notes:
the fucking problem sleuth fic of all time. i read it what feels like ages ago but was probably just 3 years. and to learn it's still going on? i suppose that's unsurprising since it's already existed for 8 years but, i wasn't around for that
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Hello, My Lovely by Dreadmartha
Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), The Intermission, Stab Dads - Fandom, Homestuck
20 Feb 2022
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Summary
Spades Slick has disappeared! Can Hearts Boxcars and Pickle Inspector find him before time runs out? Can they come together to save Slick and the lives of Team Sleuth? Can something more grow between them, or must they set aside love to go on with life in Midnight City?
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Heterosexual Men Wrestling (Gone Wrong) (Gone Sexual) by DaylilyAntares
Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
14 May 2023
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Summary
Two DEFINITELY heterosexual men roughhouse and it somehow turns into gay sex? Notably there is fisting. Ace Dick is inconsiderate and Problem Sleuth is perpetually in love with awful men. Skill issue.
i cannot come up with a better title.
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Bookmark Notes:
Hehehehheeh les gooo
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Bookmark Notes:
Only sex fanfic I’ll bookmark because this is golden, goddamn wonderfully written and a goddamn hilarious ending
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Spades Slick woos you with pain, and he doesn't skimp on it.
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Bookmark Notes:
Holyshitholyshitholydhitthitttughhough this is so good the ending absolutely drove me crazy just nlw I lovd it
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Midnight City - Team Sleuth by ashford2ashford
Fandom: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
05 Aug 2022
- Words:
- 44,771
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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Summary
“So what I was thinkin' was...” Oh goodness. It is never a good time for Mr Sleuth to say that. You almost dread what crazy scheme he is about to put into motion, yet both Mr Ace and yourself continue listening anyway. Perhaps you are just as insane as Mr Sleuth's schemes?
Series
- Part 1 of Midnight City - Team Sleuth
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Summary
There's an office in midtown with "PS, AD, & PI, Private Detectives" frosted on the glass. The three rivals turned partners were just trying to scratch out a living when they fell right in the middle of something big, something dangerous, something kept in a file marked 'MK'.
Paul Shepard is a man possessed, hunting the man who hunts him and his team. Somewhere between the drug trafficking and extortion rackets, between the gambling rings and back alley brothels, Shepard finds help in the most unexpected of places.
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Your Sweet Insecurities (You Charmed Me With Knives) by RocksCanFly for Path
Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
11 Dec 2013
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Summary
In which Problem Sleuth cuts a rug, Spades Slick is Spades Slick, and for some GPI forsaken reason- they work.
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Keeping Karkat by Path
Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
15 Jul 2011
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Summary
Spades Slick is out of town, and you're looking after his kid. You've just got to keep these candy corn horns safe.
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Real World Dreams by hexedhazels
Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures
10 Mar 2019
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Summary
Nobody has dreams in the imaginary city, and ever since moving to the Real World, Broad's dream's have left her unnerved.
But luckily, her girlfriend is there to calm her down.She doesn't know how she could do anything without Dame there.
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A series of Mobsterswitch shorts that don't fit anywhere else. Some AU.
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A string of missing informants and murders leads the newly formed Twilight Scoundrels to believe there may be one more Shadow Mage in the city than they thought. Now, what to do with them once found...
Angry Delinquent Origin Fic (Kind Of)
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The End of a Legitimate Businessman by Halberdier
Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures
07 Apr 2020
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Summary
A LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN -- ACT III
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So far, we've followed intrepid problem sleuth Patrick Sloan as he attempts to hire The Midnight Crew to take down The Felt and a certain unknown mobster kingpin named The DMK. We've learned about his Troubles, met his Associates, learned some Secrets, reviewed the Investigation, and examined everyone's Lifestyle. Then we watched as everyone involved set out their Best Laid Plans. So now we'll finally see how all of this Ends. The series concludes with the chapters herein. You didn't think I'd leave you guys hanging, did you?Series
- Part 3 of A Legitimate Businessman
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Bookmark Notes:
*incoherent screaming*
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Bookmark Notes:
Whats gonna happen next??
(chp 16)
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The Best Laid Plans of a Legitimate Businessman by Halberdier
Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth - Fandom, Midnight Crew - Fandom
01 Jan 2015
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Summary
A LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN -- ACT II
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So the day's almost here, the moment of truth, the final event, the big group party takedown of The Felt. The Midnight Crew's here. Team Sleuth is here. Patrick Sloan, Peter Inesco and "Ace" Dick Dunn sit down around the table with Jack Noir, Paolo Diamante, Clint Duccio and Hank Bachman to lay out their plans, say their peace, then head out their separate ways before the big heist.Series
- Part 2 of A Legitimate Businessman
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Bookmark Notes:
oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god
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Summary
Brushing off a lack of memory becomes really difficult when Problem Sleuth starts finding evidence that he committed the very crimes he's dedicated himself to stopping. But with the evidence piling up, Sleuth might not be able to get out of being thrown in the slammer this time.
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Summary
Slick's on his way back to the hideout when he runs into a little abandoned troll.
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Shadows and Reflections by SelanPike
Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures, MS Paint Fan Adventures
22 Mar 2014
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Summary
You walk through the town, not to assert your dominance or get any business done, but instead to listen to the word on the streets.
All you hear is the same things you’ve heard before, same things you can’t stop hearing ever since Scoff came around. Shit about how the Scoundrels ran circles around you and your Crew, got them all locked up. About how they took over the city in a matter of weeks. About how they killed the sleuths—even the Chosen Arbiter.
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Hysterical Dame is looking to have a very serious conversation with Problem Sleuth, but is promptly distracted by being extremely silly with her girlfriend.
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Dame and Broad just can't catch a break with the weather in this city.
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Perks of a perfectly mundane apartment: you’re not trapped in it by weird puzzle shit. Drawbacks: sometimes the heat goes out. (Or, two roommates, a lot of blankets, and one brilliant stupid plan; or, this trope has nothing on NB and HD.)