1 - 20 of 34 Bookmarked Items in Lieutenant Assistent (Dirk Gently)

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  1. 34

    my heart's saying (don't let go) by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    12 Mar 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    Having just recently contracted Pararibulitis, Todd Brotzman has been living his life suspended in an unvarying slog of unfulfilling jobs and shallow depression, content to simply keep his head above water and go on surviving...

    Which is made somewhat difficult due to the unexpected and incredibly inconvenient infatuation he develops toward one Dirk Gently, the eccentric and colorful florist who has recently begun working just across the street.

    (alternatively; a simple coffee shop/flower shop au that carried itself just a bit out of hand).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,520
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3,259

  2. 35

    Shell Games and Yellow Herrings by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    16 Jun 2025

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    Summary

    He huffed in disgust. “I solved the bloody case.”
    Todd’s eyes went wide. “You… usually seem a little happier about that, when it happens.”
    ----

    Five months after Bergsberg, the Holistic Detective Agency is finding a groove, and Dirk is maybe—just maybe—starting to trust a good thing to last. But a bout of cat-subsidized calm draws to a sharp close when Dirk and Todd find an impossibly-severed head on a rare day off. Unbeknownst to the Agency, the ever-accumulating Rowdy 3, or even the enthusiastic new leadership at Blackwing, a decades-old play for control is poised to ripple across a fractious, fractured, and fractal Universe. Survival will mean holding true to oneself, even in the face of friends and family—whether given, chosen, or fatalistically entwined.

    A longform take on The Season 3 That Never Was; 3/2025: finally started updating again. We're on the home stretch!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    273,084
    Chapters:
    87/?
    Comments:
    289
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    5,822

  3. 16

    The Secret to Surviving by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    24 Aug 2019

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    Summary

    Todd Brotzman is desperate for a job after being fired by the Perriman Grand. With his sister's medical bills quickly adding up, the offer of a job from an agency called Blackwing seems like the break he's been waiting for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,679
    Chapters:
    5/12
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,220

  4. 38

    Lead me back from the darkness like you do. by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    11 Aug 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    One missing person is so normal it’s almost boring, and two really isn’t much better. A missing house on the other hand, that’s a little more interesting, and when an entire street disappears without a trace, it’s fair to say Dirk is in his element.

    Then Todd goes missing, and he’s so out of his element it threatens to drown him.

    It's all just symptoms of a bigger problem, one Dirk has been trying his hardest to ignore, something broken in the fabric of reality itself that's only growing worse with time. He's not the only one who feels it, but he might be the only one who can fix it. It's a thought that he doesn't even want to consider, let alone have to contend with when he doesn't know what he's doing and he no longer has Todd to help him out.

    But Dirk isn’t ready to give up just yet, no matter what the universe tries to toss his way. Instead he finds allies in unlikely places, friends where he’d assumed enemies, and sets out for the one place on earth he swore he’d never go back to. He’s going to set things right if it kills him, it’s what he was meant to do, he has to fix this.

    And get Todd back in the process. That part is non-negotiable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,923
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    2,768

  5. 18

    Dirk Gently and The Ghosts of Time by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    04 Nov 2020

    Tags
    Summary

    This is basically my version of Season 3 so buckle up and get ready for a wild, crazy, holistic ride. And oh, keep an eye out and pay attention to "irrelevant" details...

    They've got a new case. But this time they're finally going through it as Detective and Assis-Boyfriend.

    When Todd's neighbor has a ghost in her apartment Dirk and Todd come to solve the case. Except they solved it much sooner than they anticipated, at least part of it. The universe is just getting started. This is just the tip of the iceberg, actually, no. It's the whole iceberg in the Arctic Ocean.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,677
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3,008

  6. 12

    Where I Intend to Go by

    Fandom: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)

    27 Aug 2022

    Summary

    Post-canon, post-imaginary S3 in which Blackwing is destroyed and everyone can live happily ever after. Written wildly out of order, apologies for any inconsistencies, please feel free to read in whatever order or nonorder you prefer. Dirk and Todd are very much in love and at various stages of admitting it. Alternating fluff and side character angst, anything can be skipped in favor of the other.

    Words:
    11,867
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    12

  7. 15

    On love and latte art by

    Fandom: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)

    01 Jan 2025

    Words:
    10,418
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    15

  8. 12

    The Modern Fenrisulfr by ,

    Fandom: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)

    31 Oct 2018

    Summary

    "But it's not like, being a bloody werewolf is it!"

    On a seemingly normal case, the agency sends Todd to a museum to follow a lead, where he runs into a rogue god and is bit by none other than Fenrir. The bite, turning him into a werewolf, renders him scared and helpess as he goes through the changes alone. Alone that is, until he once more comes face to face with The Rowdy 3, and realizes that he's really not as alone as he thought.

    Through torture, Norse gods, little kids, Blackwing, and even a possible marriage looming on the horizon, Todd thinks that he might drop dead before all this is over.

    Words:
    305,682
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    12

  9. 11

    i guess we're all one bad day away from a hospital bed by ,

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    25 Jul 2023

    Tags
    Summary

    After a night on the town in an attempt to hide his feelings for Dirk, Todd goes home with a man he met at a bar. But when he wakes up he finds himself tied to a chair and at the mercy of Dirk's childhood monster, Osmund Priest. The universe seems to have abandoned the agency and their friends, and as they suffer and uncover secrets never met for their eyes, they learn a very important lesson.

    Once lost, some things are gone forever, and Mr. Priest is determined to see to their destruction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,786
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,508

  10. 6

    Maybe Salem Had the Right Idea by ,

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    24 Mar 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    The other Rowdies were covered in streamers too. Vogel had them stuffed in his pockets, and was leaving a literal trail as he got out of the van. Cross had somehow braided them into his hair, and considering that Gripps was holding the color that had been braided in, it was probably him who had done it. Amanda and Martin were the only ones with without some form of party decoration in their hair, and Todd suspected that they had been the ones to set off the explosion of the streamers in the first place. Martin nodded at him.

    “Nice to see 'ya, Pup.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    124,216
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,254

  11. 10

    Even If The Universe Falls Apart by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    12 May 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    When reality is in danger, a message is spread all over the Universe: The promise of pain that will overcome everyone in the Cosmos. And on the verge of the end of the world, only one man can save us all. His name is Dirk Gently.

    A dysfunctional trio, a powerful pack, a missing girl, highly intelligent children, several people disappeared, a backward clock, loads of ketchup and three words:

    Everything is connected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,504
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2,131

  12. 10

    It's (Not) Aliens by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    19 Aug 2018

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    Summary

    It’s a rare, quiet morning at the Agency, and Farah is enjoying it immensely when the door opens and in come two of the Rowdy 3. The others, including their van, have disappeared in a flash of blue light and now Gripps and Cross are turning to the only holistic detective they know to help find their family and bring them back.

    Meanwhile, it seems like the whole area has gone Area 51, because there’s strange lights in the sky, lightbulbs that won’t stop flickering, mysterious disappearances, and a sudden resurgence of crop circles. Tina & Hobbs investigate a missing cow while communicating with the Agency through Snapchat, Friedkin is up to something, Assistent is an alien conspiracist and he’s been talking to some ex-cop about soul-swapping..?

    My contribution to the DGHDA Big Bang!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,236
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    712

  13. 10

    Finding Freedoms by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    08 Jan 2019

    Tags
    Summary

    Agent Cjelli (C.J. to his friends) has been a member of Blackwing for eighteen years, and working cases for the past four. He mainly wants to visit Project Lamia and go outside, but has found himself increasingly drawn to his coworker, Lieutenant Assistent. When Agent Black is assigned to their team, his life changes more than he ever could have imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,275
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    503

  14. 11

    Freedom by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    22 Jul 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    After Wendimoor, everyone returned to their lives, lulled into a false sense of security. They weren't expecting Blackwing to take one of their own. Their only hope of getting their friend back is to join forces, along with a little bit of help from some unexpected sources...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,463
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,229

  15. 16

    Assistents Make Good Assistants by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    17 Jun 2019

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    Summary

    Now that Dirk has his shiny new agency, he decides that they ought to have someone manning the front desk. A whim (and the universe) leads him to hiring Lieutenant Assistent for the job, and it ends up working surprisingly well.

    There’s also a case, some slime is involved, and everything is definitely connected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,059
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,616

  16. 2

    Chance Encounter... Or Was It? by

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    03 Nov 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    Dirk bumps into a panicking Michael Assistent, calms him down, and drags him along to escape Blackwing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,370
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    376

  17. 2

    The Shape of Lies by ,

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    31 Oct 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    As the hunt for Adrien Greyback continues, the pack falls into hard times after Amanda has a devastating vision. As the clock ticks on, and time runs out, everyone grows increasingly more desperate. With gods on their tails, traumatized werewolves, and Osmund Priest on the loose once again, everything they have built to protect starts to fall apart at the seams.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,122
    Chapters:
    42/42
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    940

  18. 15

    To the Moon and Back by ,

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    21 Feb 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    “Yes. I was on my way to the doughnut shop, when I found myself in a different shop. And I saw this and thought that it would look really nice with your others. I mean, I’ve never really asked, but it seems like you collect them so,” Dirk had pulled out the small rainbow heart and held it out to Todd. Dirk wasn’t sure what he had expected when he handed Todd the toy, certainly not for Todd to jump backwards like Dirk had just shoved a cross in the face of a vampire.

    “Is that a squeaky toy?” Todd shouted. His eyes had gone wide and Dirk realized that Todd’s breathing had increased. How could the toy have given Todd a panic attack?

    “I, well, yes. You collect them don’t you?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,344
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2,831

  19. 6

    Dirk Gently Case-Fics (linear connected timeline) by

    Fandom: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)

    19 May 2021

    Words:
    120,361
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    6

  20. 2

    Dirk Gently's Holistic Massage Parlour by for Duncanor

    Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)  

    01 Oct 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently dropped out of university to become a Holistic Masseuse. Together with his odd-ball group of friends slash employees, he saves lives and cures obscure diseases, one selective client at a time. This time, he also happens to fall in love, unearth family secrets, get kidnapped by a madman with a fake moustache, and also play matchmaker to his aforementioned friends. Not necessarily in that order.

    Aka, the Holistic Massage Parlour AU literally no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,277
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    296

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