Papoose Tactical Deployment
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Unauthorized Parental Units (or: A Web-Slinger’s Guide to Surviving Dadpool and Iron Overlord) by BitOfRedShirt
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
01 Aug 2025
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Summary
Peter just wanted to stop a mugging, finish his chem homework, and maybe eat pizza in peace. Instead, he got glitter-based swing form critiques, legally binding bedtime protocols, and a tactical baby harness.
Now he’s stuck between Iron Dad’s PowerPoint threats and Deadpool’s unsolicited lullabies, caught in a custody battle no court would touch (and no teenager deserves). There's a drone. There's a mixtape. There may or may not be a raccoon.
Also, Deadpool wants to carry him kangaroo-style into battle.
Against his will.
Peter is so tired.