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"He grits his teeth as the needle pierces his flesh. His hands tremble as he moves his thumb to push the plunger down. He pauses to take one shuddering breath, chokes back a sob, steels himself, and suddenly he is injecting apathy.
'Just little bit,' he thinks, 'Just enough to take this pain away for a few hours.' He repeats this mantra as he silently begs for quick release until he can feel, one by one, all emotion drain away. Fear briefly consumes him as he feels all emotion begin to fade, but it passes quickly enough. His features slowly morph from anguish to this blank, haunting, expression. Beautiful verdigris eyes, which belied intelligence and were once so clear and bright, now gloss over in vacancy. Sherlock mechanically brings one hand up to wipe away the tears that were falling less than 30 seconds ago due to an unimaginable grief, but now...
Now he feels nothing."