dirkjohn
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And will you tell all your friends (the only thing)
It hurt John to watch the blonde having such an easy time. He wanted Dirk to notice him, strike up a conversation. Apologize. He wasn’t sure if he wanted an apology or if he would take the opportunity to finally explain himself. To show Dirk he did care, that he wasn’t ashamed.
This all was only wishful thinking (is that I)
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- English
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So... You're like, a sex freak, right? by davies-dokis (dokidavies), Nuhmarika
Fandoms: Homestuck
12 Apr 2020
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John solicits Dirk to help him try out a few new kinks.
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dirk and john get high and touch each other
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John and Dirk are spare wheels as far as their very coupled off friends are concerned. They get paired off as the only single ones in the group and get close. And then they get married, as a joke, as a fuck you to their friends who want them to settle down and as a way to solidify their beautiful bromance. It's the biggest game of gay chicken you've ever seen. It ends happily ever after.
Series
- Part 1 of Gay Chicken
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John's new neighbor has some surprisingly helpful ideas for getting over his divorce.
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John and Dirk are spare wheels as far as their very coupled off friends are concerned. They get paired off as the only single ones in the group and get close. And then they get married, as a joke, as a fuck you to their friends who want them to settle down and as a way to solidify their beautiful bromance. It's the biggest game of gay chicken you've ever seen. It ends happily ever after.
Series
- Part 1 of Gay Chicken
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,023
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 647
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- 1,420
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- 19,100
Bookmarked by tumultuousTuna
21 Sep 2020
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This fic said autistic!dirk rights, ergo giving me my rights. God this is so good.
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Dirk and John sit on a couch and discuss, among other things, jacking off to math, hit 2009 movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and the inevitable heat death of the universe.
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Like what sort of guy says he's a god and then lets fifty doves shit on him?
Bookmarked by tumultuousTuna
11 Oct 2020
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(Bang pots and pans) COME GET YOUR ANGST
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You glanced at Bro still chatting outside the window and a quote from a game you watched him play flitted through your head. What was it?
Pick a God and pray?
Well, you didn't really believe in Gods but maybe it couldn't hurt.Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are nine years old when you first pray to a God you don’t know for help. Because it’s Dave, he’s really too young to die. You’re surprised when your prayer is answered by a blustering Child God in blue.
It never happens again.
Until it does. Again. And again.Entry for the DirkJohn Big Bang 2020.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,803
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
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- 69
- Kudos:
- 221
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- 38
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- 3,517
Bookmarked by roxyofheart
27 Oct 2020
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This fic BREAKS ME. From the moment I first read it to now. The way Dirk cares for Dave is beautiful and so well-written.
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Across the room, Dirk Strider stares you down. You get the feeling, if he weren’t wearing his dumb triangle shades, the two of you would be making some seriously intense and uncomfortable eye contact. It’s nearly impossible to look away. He’s posted against the wall, nursing a can of orange soda, not talking to anyone. Just like you.
Except you’re drinking hooch, not gross Fanta.
(Or, John Egbert is clueless and Dirk Strider doesn't have a clue.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,165
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
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- 160
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- 474
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- 92
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- 4,347
Bookmarked by roxyofheart
25 Oct 2021
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This is one of the best fics I’ve ever read 🥺
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Its Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long insulting conversation about how you're still single? Well, look no further!
I am a 26 year old felon with no high school degree and a bedsit full of robotic body parts. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on how much hair product I use. Im a freelance technician and work late nights at a bar fixing sound equipment for terrible musicians. If you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.John finds the perfect prank to pull on his dad for Thanksgiving.
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It’s about midday, sunlight lays on the floor from the window. John’s fingers ease through your hair, careful of your tireless styling. You’re here because it’s been a week since you last “slept,” and your brain never gives you a fuckin’ break. But you haven’t told him that.
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There are about five million reasons why they shouldn’t be doing this. Dirk can list them off alphabetically.
(Or, Dirk hooks up with his straight roommate, catches a case of feelings, and promptly makes things worse.)
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You know what they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, a Twitter flame war, an elaborate spite menu, and a whole lot of inept flirting.
Entry for the DirkJohn Big Bang 2020.
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“Why didn’t you ask for presentation? On the application for the apartment.”
He gives you a squinty, side-eyed look, like he’s trying to figure out whether you’ve asked him a trick question or not. “Becaaaauuuuse it’s none of my business?”
***
Dirk is a puzzle box of repressed emotion and touch-aversion, and he's got a huge secret that makes romance impossible. John, however, doesn't care much for rules. Or personal boundaries.
Series
- Part 1 of pull the wool over your eyes
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Its Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long insulting conversation about how you're still single? Well, look no further!
I am a 26 year old felon with no high school degree and a bedsit full of robotic body parts. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on how much hair product I use. Im a freelance technician and work late nights at a bar fixing sound equipment for terrible musicians. If you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.John finds the perfect prank to pull on his dad for Thanksgiving.
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the torment of existence weighed against the horror of nonbeing by quixxotique (crownlessliestheking)
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 Apr 2023
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On the very edges of Paradox Space, at the border of unreality at the shattered remnants of a dead-end timeline, where The Void has settled in comfortably, a not-quite dreamer and a not-quite ghost meet. Surprisingly, they get along.
Alternatively: Google, how do you tell someone that you might be falling in love with them because you keep accidentally (and now not so accidentally) meeting up with their only-sometimes-alternate/splinter self that's stranded in the Void?
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Dirk would rather not share, but how can you lay claim to something that isn't even yours? Or, in his case, to someone he's sure he has no chances with.
John in the meantime is just confused by his own feelings, the nature of which might either fix or make things worse, but you'll never know which it is if you never try. -
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When John comes to stay at the Strider household, he unintentionally starts a war between Dave and Dirk. This is going to be a long two weeks...
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You grow up believing soulmates don't exist.
Then, you fall in love and start hoping they might.
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He is, without a doubt, the worst kisser you have ever had the displeasure of locking lips with.