1 - 20 of 187 Works by Squash (JeSuisGourde)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    What's worse than betrayal? How do you fix it when there's nothing left to fix? There is no imagination in an autopsy; dead is dead and guilt is guilt. Owen doesn't know what to do. Because Jack was his second chance, Torchwood was his second chance, and now it's all stained with blame and regret and death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,939
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    145
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A sign on the door says 'High Elopement Risk' in bold black and white. He can't stop thinking about the idea of marriages of the mad; vows jumbled in cotton-dry mouths, church bells tolling crooked and joyous, benzo-sloppy kisses, heavily medicated laughter painting the halls. Glassy eyes and white gauze and rings made of toilet paper, promises made for or by the not-quite-there.

    It scares him that his fingers itch for Ian's skin. It scares him that even through the clenched heart, the way his stomach is in lovelorn knots, the way his mind shuts down at the thought of Ian doing the things he did, he still wants to stay.

    Mickey's POV during the time that Ian is in the hospital.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,255
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    477
  3. Tags
    Summary

    His eyes water from the irritation and he blinks the tears back, clamps down on the threat of a cough spasming at the back of his throat. The second floor landing is full of smoke and warmer than it was before. Mickey has a momentary thought: fuck this apartment. He doesn't care if the whole building burns, if everything goes up in a goddamn inferno, so long as everyone gets out safe and he gets back to Ian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,870
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    187
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,505
  4. Tags
    Summary

    There's no such thing as forgiveness for something like this. Not when he gets to have more, forever more, and she only ever had this one thing.

    Alice, in the immediate aftermath of Children Of Earth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,076
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    100
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Don't you want to just let someone else be in charge for a minute?” Ianto murmurs. “Not make any decisions? Let someone else do it all for you?”

    Jack's gone, Tosh is injured, and everything is overwhelming. Owen's struggling with the responsibilities and stress of leadership, and Ianto knows how to help him shake off the need to do everything all at once.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,049
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    628
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Gwen had said Those poor girls. But both were dead, victims of Torchwood, of circumstance, of the most destructive kind of loyalty and love. Owen could only think Poor Ianto. The dead were dead. The living had to keep living with the pain.
    He sighed.
    "Fucking fuck this."

    Owen and Ianto in the immediate aftermath of Cyberwoman.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    665
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Above him, the world is drinking and dancing. In the underworld of the hub, he's climbing a gauntlet of steps up to the first of the dead.

    Jack, in the first hours of the new millennium, is left to grieve for his team.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    81
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Gwen Cooper was born into the world of Torchwood by caesarean section.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,575
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    120
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Who are you, Owen Harper? Torchwood? A doctor? A wanker? A broken heart?
    He really could do with being someone else right now. He really, really could.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    252
  10. Tags
    Summary

    She always had this dream they would save themselves.
    And she saw how in love Mickey Milkovich was with her best friend.
    Only Ian was coming apart at the seams, Mickey grasping at edges he didn't know how to hold onto and this was getting crazier the more they tried to save him themselves. The more they tried to figure it out themselves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,560
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    859
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Ian's on his goddamn mind all the time and this isn't like bruises or near misses with cops or his dad's fucked up punishments. It doesn't matter what he does. He's not thinking of anything else.

    You've never been like this. Slow and soft and someone asleep at your back. Vulnerable. Ever. There have been very few bright spots in your life: your mother, Mandy, Ian. You try and convince yourself it's not what you want. It is. It's what you want.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,331
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    3,101
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Why does it always have to be so damn tragic with them? It's not fair, it's never fair, and they can't seem to find a lull in the chaos long enough that happiness could be considered anything but a luxury. At least they've stopped lying to each other. At least there's that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,303
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    529
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Grantaire makes an impression at his first time attending a Les Amis de la ABC meeting. It feels good, arguing like this, flexing his brain muscles, even though Enjolras looks like he wants to behead him. He feels like a person like this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    536
  14. Tags
    Summary

    He's told himself this his entire life and it's always been easy. Except this time, when he needs it the most and now it's like it's the hardest thing in the world.
    Don't hope.
    Don't fucking hope.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,389
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1,383
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Grantaire has been feeling good lately. Good enough to go for walks, good enough to take his friends to a new cafe he found. He knows he should be expecting to burn out, to feel like shit later, but it feels like a terrible shock every time. And Enjolras is smiling at him, thanking him, calling him a friend. He has no idea what to do with that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,758
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    435
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Grantaire goes over to Enjolras' apartment to help paint signs. They have a debate that ends up friendlier than expected, and Grantaire wonders if maybe Enjolras is starting to actually like him as a person. Or something. Maybe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,429
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    356
  17. Tags
    Summary

    There's no way his younger self would have imagined this, not in a million years, not even with how much he always loved Ian. He was always just fucked for life. Now he's been there, done that with the fucked for life thing. Now he's everything he never dreamed and it blows him away.

    Ian and Mickey three years after Mickey's release from prison.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,233
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    6,038
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come back. Because absence apparently makes the heart grow fonder and at some point he realizes he's fallen in love with Ian Gallagher. At some point he realizes he fucking hates camouflage. At some point he realizes he wishes Ian could stay.

    In which Ian actually goes into the Marines.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,014
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    185
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    4,278
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Grantaire finds himself on the streets, somehow further past the rock bottom he thought he'd already hit. Homeless, friendless, alone and exhausted. Everything is bleak, everything is horrible and humiliating and even drinking is failing him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    24
    Hits:
    235
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The aftermath of 3x06. Mickey can't stop thinking about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2,688

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