TheSneakyHobo
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Have a dog, they said. by masterfoxpin (LiesmithSilvertongue)
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
01 Jun 2025
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Summary
Animal hybrids have always been popular, but Dazai never planned to adopt one.
He's barely a functional adult, why would he adopt a whole ass person that he has to take care of ?
But when the ADA is sent to help dismantle a trafficking ring, and Dazai meets the eyes of a feral beast, chained to a wall, muzzled and snapping his teeth at them... He's obsessed, struck with some kind of curse. He doesn't even like dogs !
And yet, despite everything, words he didn’t plan to speak fell out of his lips.
“I'll take him.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,379
- Chapters:
- 16/?
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 1,719
- Bookmarks:
- 224
- Hits:
- 30,028
Bookmarked by TheSneakyHobo
09 Jul 2025
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Ministry Directive 32
To ensure moving past any and all lingering Blood-purity views, all Pureblood wizards and witches are henceforth forbidden from marrying other Purebloods.
Unmarried Purebloods who have aided, abetted and otherwise were tied to the Death Eater movement, are furthermore obliged to, without exception (unless it involves Directive 24), marry a Muggleborn. They have one year to find adequate spouses. Non-compliance with Directive 32 will result in a fine of 150.000 Galleons and 5 years’ incarceration in Azkaban.
***
“I understand.” Lucius Malfoy folded his hands on his cane and sat straighter. “As you may have noticed, Directive 32 has some of my former associates in a bit of a tizzy.”
Hermione snorted before she could help herself. Lucius blinked at her as if she had spat on the floor. “Apologies, please continue,” she said.
“Ah, well… I have come to you with an opportunity. As I have been told, you receive dozens of proposals a day. In person as well as in the form of letters. Were you to agree to my proposition, that would all go away.”
“And what exactly are you asking of me, Mister Malfoy?”
“In short, to marry my son and thus keeping him out of Azkaban.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 233,664
- Chapters:
- 38/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,810
- Kudos:
- 1,870
- Bookmarks:
- 725
- Hits:
- 107,396
Bookmarked by TheSneakyHobo
24 Apr 2025
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Enemies, closer by Abacura, Gamebird, IHopedTheredBeStars, opalescent_potato, Rosewind2007, theAsh0
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
17 Feb 2025
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Keep your friends close,
and your enemies closer.—Sun Tzu, The Art of War (attrib)
Bookmarked by TheSneakyHobo
21 Mar 2025
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Enloe's Thirteen by Reulte for IHopedTheredBeStars
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
30 May 2025
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from IHopedTheredBeStars Witness Statements (Parts 2 and 6: Monkeywrench and Monkeywrench Revisited)
Murderbot was the 13th security unit that Technician Enloe had done and given the ‘special’ pack. What happens to the first twelve?
(Go read IHopedTheredBeStars Witness Statements first.)
Bookmarked by TheSneakyHobo
18 Mar 2025
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,014
- Kudos:
- 25,532
- Bookmarks:
- 10,063
- Hits:
- 1,418,408
Bookmarked by TheSneakyHobo
21 Jan 2025