The_Useless_Cucumber
Fandoms
Recent works
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The Creatures in the Woods Won't Eat You (Yet) by The_Useless_Cucumber for BatCatTheArtist
Fandoms: Dream SMP
17 Aug 2024
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Summary
Tubbo knew he was a weird kid. He knew other kids his age didn't really seem to like him much. Honestly, they didn't seem to like him at all. Sure, they didn't show it as much anymore. But he still felt their stares. He still heard their whispers. He just couldn't find it in him to care. They were just people who saw a child who could barely read, who spent all his time in the woods, avoiding an empty house, and decided it made him a freak. And he really didn't care what they thought anymore.
He had something far better than them anyway. He had Tommy and Ranboo.Or:
Tubbo is an average human kid who ended up becoming friends with some creatures that live in the local woods. Little did he know that decision wouldn't end well.
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Guard Your Family to Guard Your Heart by The_Useless_Cucumber
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
13 Aug 2024
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Summary
“And sending someone to act as a personal guard while he is with his father would be enough to ease your worries?”
“Yes. Someone who will prioritize his life over all else. Someone we both can trust with him. That’s all I want.”
“I see. Thank you for volunteering, dear.”---
Jason Todd never returned to Gotham, instead choosing to stay with the League of Assassins. But the League is no longer safe for Damian and he must be sent to stay in his father's care in Gotham. It's perhaps the worst decision Jason could make, but he can't just leave his little brother's safety in Bruce's hands, even if the old man means well. But Jason Todd isn't ready to return home yet.
Guess that just means someone else will have to be at Damian's side then. -
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Summary
Short drabble about Dream being taken prisoner. Not much else to it.
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The Plight of the Uninformed by BatCatTheArtist, The_Useless_Cucumber
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
04 May 2022
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Summary
'More hesitation, curiosity. It was so open and expressive with its emotions, Ranboo could read it like a book.
That fact alone made him both pleased and far more concerned. It didn't even know better than to hide its emotions away from unfamiliar eyes. Every changeling old enough to meet those outside their family knew better. It truly was not old enough to be alone. This just further cemented it.
"Then maybe I could offer you some of my free time? I don't really have anything to do and I like being helpful. I can cook, clean, sew, all sorts of things."
Its blue eyes searched Ranboo's, before glancing back down. "I guess-... It would be rude of me to refuse an offer like that."
or
Ranboo and Tommy spot a tiny little human just outside their circle, and decide it was finally time to get their own changeling
**PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS - DON'T BE WEIRDOS**
Series
- Part 1 of The Nerium Faes
- Part 1 of BatCat's MCYT Collabs
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A Special Dinner by The_Useless_Cucumber for BatCatTheArtist
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
12 Apr 2022
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Summary
But there was at least one thing he could do to be of help. After all, his friends had such a bad habit of forgetting their needs. He had long since lost track of how many times both of them had simply forgotten to eat when Ranboo was too preoccupied to ensure that they did. Which is why he was on grocery duty now.
Or: Ranboo kidnaps dinner to bring back to his cannibal family.
Recent series
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BatCat's MCYT Collabs by BatCatTheArtist, orphan_account, The_Useless_Cucumber
Fandom: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
27 Mar 2023
- Words:
- 45,551
- Works:
- 3
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The Nerium Faes by BatCatTheArtist, The_Useless_Cucumber
Fandom: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
04 May 2022
Summary
A fae AU :))
Works currently in the series:
> The Plight of the Uninformed - The first, main story in the AU. Shows how Tubbo joined the family.Works to be added:
> The Plight of the Uninformed except its Tubbo's perspective
> Prequel about Wilbur joining his family
> Prequel about Techno and Dream joining their families
> Prequel about Tommy and Ranboo joining their family
> Oneshot about Dream and Tech friendship
> How Dream and Sapnap met George.
> Fundy's 'birth'and more? possibly? :flushed:
- Words:
- 36,026
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 31
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Summary
A collection of stories spanning the entirety of my General Keith au.
- Words:
- 13,051
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 15
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
(n.)
The place where one’s strength is drawn from; where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.
Tom thought the man who adopted him was rather odd, even by his standards.
He talked in an American accent, knew more about the Political state of Britain than any other adult he's ever met, yet he claimed to have only lived in Spain his entire life. He often spoke downright weird phrases too, ones the five-year-old was pretty sure wasn't used in any country, though they sounded like inside jokes no one else knew the context to. But he was rich, and willing to take Tom away from here, so he'd take what he could get.
Phoenix never thought he'd wake up in the body of a rich, handsome man in a book series he hasn't even touched since High School. Much less 7 years before WW2 started and Grindelwald threw a tantrum about losing his boyfriend, but hey, who was he to complain? He was set for life now.
That said, he wasn't exactly fond of the idea of allowing that absolute train wreck of a plot- er, future to happen....
Beta-Read by UltimateGamer and Obsi-Rainbow~
Series
- Part 1 of Defining "Home"
Bookmarked by The_Useless_Cucumber
05 Apr 2022
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Whispers In The Dark by UltimateGamer101
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
03 Jul 2020
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Summary
The world is an unfair place.
You flip a coin, and when you need heads, it will give you tails. You cross the street, and you get hit by a car, because you forgot to look both ways. You get beaten down by your peers for things out of your control, sneered at and jeered at, because you don't fit their expectations. The world is unfair to you, and if it were fair in just one thing, it would be in the fact that it is unfair to all.
Midoriya Izuku knows what it's like to live in this unfair world. The cracks in the pavement where fortune falls down, the drainage pipes in which keys and rings are lost; he does his best to find the nooks and crannies that will give him an advantage, but he still suffers with the rest of us. His only friends are far away, and his relationship with his mother is in danger. He could once call amazing heroes his family, but they left him behind. He has been falsely diagnosed as quirkless, and with that declaration comes most of the misfortune that is his existence... yet he is determined to beat the odds anyways, and he has the entire rest of his life to do so.
The world is an unfair place, but Midoriya Izuku is ready for the challenge.
Series
- Part 3 of UG101's Multi-Chapter MHA/BNHA Stories
- Part 1 of 'Til The Angels Save Us All
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,178
- Chapters:
- 40/?
- Comments:
- 1,577
- Kudos:
- 1,989
- Bookmarks:
- 507
- Hits:
- 40,582
Bookmarked by The_Useless_Cucumber
22 Mar 2019
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Chrysalism by UltimateGamer101
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
03 Jul 2019
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Summary
It's a story we're all familiar with by this point. A boy, born into a world filled to the brim with strange and fantastic power, yet possessing none to truly call his own. A woman, filled with grief at the peril her son faces, fearful of the enemies who may attack at every turn. A man, absent far more than he is present, providing for his family and overseeing his territory. The story of a child who grows up isolated, with no friends or allies by his side...
Midoriya Izuku, since he was but a child, has been locked in slumber for many years. He sits upon a dusty throne, left alone in an empty keep; rays of sunlight streaming in through the cracked ceiling. The chains upon his spirit fade more and more with each year he draws breath, until they fail, and the spell is broken.
The Dreaming Prince will sleep no more; he rises from his enchanted slumber, eyes wide open to see that which he's missed all these years. A child in all but age, he sets forth to explore, eager to learn about the world in which he's grown.
Series
- Part 2 of UG101's Multi-Chapter MHA/BNHA Stories
Bookmarked by The_Useless_Cucumber
13 Mar 2019