UlfAzura
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Kaveh stared at him for one beat too long, then said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Alhaitham didn’t turn. “Hello to you too.”
“You’re on the panel.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re back in Sumeru.”
“My residency ended.”
Kaveh exhaled through his nose. “Of course.”
A year after an awful blind date, Kaveh ends up on a university panel with Alhaitham. They haven’t spoken since, but now they’re forced back into each other’s proximity—first onstage, then over email, and eventually in person, again. It goes about as well as expected.
Bookmarked by UlfAzura
21 Jul 2025
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The problem, Kaveh decides, wasn’t just that Alhaitham had no range, even when the similarities were so close all he’d have to do was change his name. It was that Nilou somehow expected him to fix it. Performance chemistry was not something you could brute-force by proximity and stubbornness and sheer willpower. Kaveh has already spent a full semester proving that Alhaitham was biologically immune to charm.
Nilou rubbed her temples.
“Okay, look. You’re actors—well, one of you is. You’re meant to create illusions. Maybe just… pretend you don’t hate each other? And then hate each other when it calls for it.”
“We don’t hate each other,” Kaveh snapped.
Alhaitham, beside him, nodded agreeably. “I simply find him taxing.”
In Sumeru University’s production of Barefoot in the Park, Kaveh’s original scene partner breaks a leg. Literally. His insufferable roommate steps up to the plate. Only: they have zero chemistry and turn to alternatives, i.e, method acting.
But it’s fine, they’re adults. What could go wrong?
Bookmarked by UlfAzura
20 Jul 2025
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Kaveh and Alhaitham discover some explicit fanfiction - accompanied by 'Bunveh' art - about the two of them. In true scholarly fashion, they provide full-scale literary and artistic critiques of the work... after establishing a solid real-life reference for accuracy, of course.
Lips parted into a frozen 'O' and mouth suddenly very dry, Kaveh released Alhaitham’s wrist and snatched the paper to read it more closely.
Each line was filthier than the last.
“... Oh,” Kaveh eventually croaked, skimming the page and staring blankly at the messy handwriting.
Alhaitham was glaring at the ceiling, arms crossed over his chest - though he hadn’t shoved Kaveh off of his lap as he would’ve expected him to by now. “Yeah. Oh.”
“Their grammar is atrocious,” Kaveh breathed, unable to think of anything else to say.
Voice shaky - a striking contrast to his usual immutable composure - Alhaitham responded with a jerky nod. “They also seem to be under the impression that I would be quite cruel. There are several names written in my dialogue that I would never dream of calling you.” Scrubbing a hand over his face, Alhaitham held up another page.
Bookmarked by UlfAzura
20 Jul 2025
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“Kaveh.”
“And he—huh? Yes?”
“You do realize that was Alhaitham, right?”
A long pause. “Who?”
Tighnari’s palm meets his face. “Sorry, of course you of all people wouldn’t care to know about these things.” He clears his throat. And then, “Prince Alhaitham.”
A beat. “Oh.”
In which Kaveh is a tailor indebted to Dori, Alhaitham is the Prince of Sumeru, and they meet at a masquerade. Or, a little twist on the Cinderella trope.
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Bookmarked by UlfAzura
20 Jul 2025
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When Kaveh is faced with an awkward situation of running into his ex at an upcoming event, he takes to browsing a dating app in hopes of finding a suitable fake boyfriend.
Surprisingly, he ends up stumbling across someone he never expected-- and who he still finds extremely hot.
Bookmarked by UlfAzura
20 Jul 2025