chaotic_trash_gremlin

he screm



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    “We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

    He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

    “Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

    Or: The story of a marriage.

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    31 Jul 2025

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    everything i ever want in a wangxian fic actually

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    From a young age, Wei Wuxian has told himself and anyone who will listen that he’s never getting married.

    Then he gets off on the wrong foot with the cold, aloof, wealthy, irritatingly pretty Hanguang-jun.

    After that, Wei Wuxian tells himself he’s definitely never getting married.

    (A Pride & Prejudice-inspired AU.)

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    23 Jul 2025

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    on god bro author's 3rd eye is open. this is going up there w the atla/fmab au fix for crossovers that rly shouldn't work but absolutely do

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    It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him.

    “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?”

    “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.

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    “But what a beautiful story! To love someone so much, you defy the laws of nature. A child is gift from the heavens.” She says, a big smile on her face. “To think this handsome young man in front of us was birthed by two men! The Yiling Patriarch was always spoken about as such a loathsome figure…but to give such a miraculous gift to his beloved,” she leans over and gently touches Sizhui’s cheek. “He must be a brilliant man.”

    “Actually, that Wei Wuxian is being spoken of as a Fertility God, in many of our little towns.” Ning-shushu sputters at that, unable to hold back. “All the young couples have begun to pray to him for healthy and strong children. Like you, Young Master!”

    Sizhui’s watermelon almost falls out of his hand. Senior Wei? A Fertility God?! Hanguang-Jun often has the appearance of a strong and powerful deity, but Senior Wei?

    (or, a flood of rumours take a wholesome hit to the Yiling Patriarch’s notorious reputation, and the cultivation world finds themselves a new Fertility God. Shenanigans ensue.)

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    16 Apr 2025

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    sect leader yao invents mpreg rpf: the saga

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    If he were just like Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng could dismiss the nagging voice in his head that said he’s family, and you have close to nothing left. Jiang Cheng could have left the night hunt with the unanimous truth about Lan Sizhui: he wasn’t his family. He wasn’t like Wei Wuxian, he was moulded and shaped by Lan education to be the same stuffy, emotionless, powerhouse of a teenager Lan Wangji once was. He was just some kid, some future Lan leader, an heir, more Lan Wangji’s than Wei Wuxian’s, whatever the nature of their relationship may be.
    But Lan Wangji would not have thrown himself in front of that sword. Lan Wangji would have never bled out on the floor to save Jiang Cheng from the imminent threat of death. Never in a million years would he do something as reckless and self-sacrificial.

    That was Wei Wuxian, through and through. Lan Sizhui was Wei Wuxian’s son.

    (or, in which Lan Sizhui is forced to stay in Lotus Pier for three weeks, and saves Jiang Cheng in more ways than one. Turns out stab wounds heal faster than 16 years of regret.)

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    15 Apr 2025

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