lonelier_version_of_you
Fandoms
- Holby City (TV 1999) (37)
- Casualty (TV) (5)
- Coronation Street (1)
Recent works
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And We Sat Down and We Waited for that Strange and Empty Light by lonelier_version_of_you
Fandoms: Casualty (TV)
27 Sep 2025
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Summary
After finding out John cheated on her, Liz turns up on Josh's doorstep asking to stay.
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“You can’t blame yourself for surviving.” Evidently though, Josh can and is. Liz just doesn’t know what else to say. “Helen and Sarah and Ashley wouldn’t want that. They wouldn't want you tormenting yourself.”
Set immediately after the argument in Perfect Blue. MCD warning is for Josh's family. -
all the breath in your lungs is stronger than the tears in your eyes by lonelier_version_of_you for transitofmercury
Fandoms: Casualty (TV)
13 Jun 2024
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Summary
"He doesn’t have the answers.
But Teddy needs to believe otherwise. Teddy is sitting here in tears, looking to perhaps the only man he knows who has any first-hand experience with this, needing to hear ‘it’s going to be okay’ and ‘this won’t define you’ and ‘of course it gets better’…
Needing to hear the same things that Jacob once needed to."
A difficult case gets Teddy to open up to Jacob, and they talk about their shared experience. This is set in April 2024, and canon-divergent.
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do you feel it the same as you used to? (comes around again, pretty repetitive) by lonelier_version_of_you
Fandoms: Holby City
25 Mar 2024
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Summary
On a difficult day, John contemplates his transness, mental health, trauma, internalised homophobia, and relationship with Henrik. That's literally all the plot there is, John angsting for nearly 6000 words.
This is set around 1993/1994.
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i have plenty of time; you've got light in your eyes by lonelier_version_of_you
Fandoms: Holby City
31 Dec 2023
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Summary
On a day John and Henrik are supposed to be shadowing a neurosurgeon at a nearby hospital, Henrik ends up with a migraine. John wants to stay and look after him, while Henrik wants him to go on his own.
Set in summer 1988 - Henrik is staying with John for the summer.
Recent series
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Fics I wrote in an attempt to fix Henrik's abuse storyline by lonelier_version_of_you
Fandom: Holby City
13 Jun 2021
Summary
So, Henrik's historic sexual abuse storyline was terribly handled, offensive to real-world survivors, ruined poor Sahira's character for no reason, and retconned like 90% of his backstory.
But somewhere in there, there was a very powerful concept that would suit Henrik's character. So I've been writing fics to try and fix the storyline. And I've created a series to put those fics in, so you don't have to search for them individually.
(This will probably always be marked as incomplete, because I have a feeling I'll be writing fix-it fics for the CSA storyline for about as long as I keep writing about Henrik. However, all fics in this series are completely standalone and don't even necessarily take place in the same universe as each other. Obviously, trigger warning for sexual abuse in all these fics; individual fics may have other trigger warnings necessary, so please read the tags on each one first.)
- Words:
- 6,244
- Works:
- 2
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Summary
Roxanna's death hits Henrik, already in a fragile state after the shooting, a little too hard and he completely shuts down in response. John doesn't know how to deal with the consequences.
- Words:
- 26,887
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
A fic series about Oliver Valentine being genderqueer.
- Words:
- 4,895
- Works:
- 2
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Summary
There was a writing prompts askbox meme thing going round the Holby fandom back in May. These are the ficlets I ended up writing for it.
- Words:
- 1,053
- Works:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
On reflection, Henrik knew it was always more than just a present.
Bookmarked by lonelier_version_of_you
20 Apr 2022
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Bookmarker's Notes
A really good Henruss fic that captures Henrik's character perfectly.
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Summary
Henrik Hanssen has never needed air more. And now the world is airless.
Set as an end to the final scene of episode 40.
Bookmarked by lonelier_version_of_you
15 Mar 2021
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
A Henrik character study fic based on the Reyhan storyline. An emotionally intense read, but a very good one. The very last few lines in particular are amazing.
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A collection of scenes (eventually) of Henruss depending on where my imagination takes us. Each is standalone. Just scenerios I imagine the pair in. Because there is never going to be enough Henruss, and Henrik has waited long enough. <3 Hope I can do both characters and anyone else who pops in justice. If your reading this thank you for popping by.
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Summary
Everything ends. And it's always sad, but perhaps less so with a friend.
Bookmarked by lonelier_version_of_you
05 Feb 2021
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
You know how Jac and Henrik should have had a goodbye scene in Jac's last episode, but they didn't get one? This fic fixes that. And it fixes it very well.
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Summary
Carole finds it difficult to say goodbye to Henrik as he prepares to head to Sweden with Sara and Oskar.
Series
- Part 10 of 100 Ways To Say I Love You