silentwalrus
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Summary
The pair of droids doing the decanting rinse and dry the babies straight out of the tube, making sure the weighing isn’t thrown off by any excess clinging fluid, and the clones are fluffy-headed and freshly clothed by the time the padded droid arms set them down in the pen, but it’s like the little bastards are trying to make up for their new totally dry environment by sliming the absolute shab out of everything they touch.
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So it’s not Soap’s fault, is the thing.
He assesses the situation, evaluates the terrain, makes a totally reasonable conclusion. Soldiers die, it happens. Their companions lose the connection, become indistinguishable from any regular animal. But it’s not like they just up and puff into smoke. It usually becomes next of kin’s responsibility, just like anywhere else - the more typical animals get taken to shelters or adopted by the deceased’s family. If your lucky stiff had some rare Left-Spotted Lesser Transylvanian Weasel or something then a conservation org or zoo might happily take it off your hands.
But just as often companions just scarper. Birds fly away, dogs jump a fence, cats skitter off and join the feral colonies hanging around the nearest underpass - but this fucking thing Soap’s nearly stepped in ain’t even making it down the stairs.
So Soap, Christlike in nature as he is, decides to do a good deed this fine evening.
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come as you are by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
23 Mar 2025
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Summary
Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way.
Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.Series
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snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
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They have a cash flow problem.
This used to matter less, since being enslaved came with meals, meds, beds, blacks and all the other minor details that keep an army shooting, sleeping and shitting regularly, but now that they’re all basking and broke in the glorious light of their ex-GAR freedom, the average clone has their pockets full of a big fat nothing.
Recent series
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Summary
Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating
- Words:
- 220,954
- Works:
- 23
- Bookmarks:
- 965
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TERRIBLE ideas by gracelesso, silentwalrus
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
10 Apr 2020
- Words:
- 5,871
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 119
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Summary
Convenience grouping of my little FMA word doodles!
- Words:
- 4,589
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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- Words:
- 3,106
- Works:
- 1
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- 22
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grapefruit cinematic universe by silentwalrus, teacuplet, tinfigs
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
05 Oct 2020
- Words:
- 4,496
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 65
Recent bookmarks
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Manual Reset by jottingprosaist (jane_potter)
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
19 Oct 2025
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Summary
It is dusk, during the mild early nights of the fallow season, and we— 1.0 and I— are playing Keep Away with the Mensah children when 1.0 abruptly utters, "This unit's critical components have reached their designated life expectancy," and drops like a stone.
Then it says, "WHAT THE FUCK."
Three has to hit the reset switch on a forced-obsolescence process. The switch is in an extremely inconvenient place inside Murderbot. Like, wrist-deep.
Three is feeling so normal about this. It is. It is.
Series
- Part 5 of Hierarchy of Needs
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
21 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
"I'm not Perihelion, so pretend I said something mean to you," I say.
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Summary
Simon retires to the coast of Scotland and adopts the hobby of hunting invasive American lobsters. While diving, he stumbles upon the most stunning underwater cave imaginable. Within, he comes face to face with a mythical creature that's less myth and more like a closely guarded village secret.
He comes to befriend this merman, who believes soap is cute enough to name himself after, and accidentally begins courting him. He doesn't realise he's even begun courting the mer, of course, until he returns to his friend one day to find him in a rather interesting state of distress...
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
19 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Simon knew better than to drop his guard just because the creature was apparently sentient and able to communicate in his language. The same logic applied to Russians, and he’d been nearly killed by them about a hundred times. He at least expected the Russians to communicate in some way.
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Summary
So, Soap’s a big guy. Obviously.
He’s not overly tall, but he’s wide in the shoulders and thick in the thighs. He’s the kind of big that’s naturally built all over: training muscles on top of mission muscles on top of an innate bulk.
He’s the kind of big that makes him immovable to most guys.
The kind of big that’s always been -ger than most everyone else—if not by height, than at least by heft.
So when they’re on mission and Ghost spots a grenade before Soap does, and, with no time to warn him, grabs him by the waist and flings him back behind cover, gear and all, Soap’s really not expecting to think much about it, aside from maybe, ‘Oh, shit.’
What he thinks instead is: ‘Oh-hmm.’
And then, in rapid succession: ‘Big.’
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Or, Soap realizes that Ghost is bigger than him. His dick realizes that’s hot.
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
16 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Gaz lasts all of four seconds before he’s hissing, “What the hell, mate, I didn’t think Ghost even had sex. How did he pull?”
And Soap can’t help it. He leans forward conspiratorially and whispers, “Well, he looked me in the eye, and he got real close, and he said something in that sexy accent of his that was so hot, I couldn’t say no.” He pauses. Sips his coffee, just for effect. “He said, ‘Oi, oi, oi, I’m gonna stick it up ya bumhole, phwoar.’”
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Shrine to the Left, Penthouse to the Right by Kitty_Katya
Fandoms: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
01 Oct 2025
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Every Monday, they switch bodies. Every Tuesday, they scream into the mirror. Every Wednesday, they avoid their feelings. Kagome’s falling for a man she’s never met—unless you count awkwardly shaving his jaw. Sesshoumaru’s considering suing fate for emotional damage. It’s modern romance. Just…extremely cursed.
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
10 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Then, with all the calm of a man who had seen far worse and found it funny every time, he closed the door.
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Summary
Marcone sends Harry a client, and the case brings them together in unexpected ways.
Series
- Part 1 of Business as Usual
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
24 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I’d found a chink in Marcone’s armor he hadn’t known needed reinforcing. Next time we met, it’d be soldered over.