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Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Chapter 17: Epilogue: Quiet Joy

Summary:

A short epilogue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

[A sheet of letter paper, crisp and white, is smeared along the top with something that looks like strawberry jam. Underneath, in a child’s clumsy scrawl that abruptly changes angle halfway through, three words are written with numerous ink blots:]  

HadPPY BRTH BIRTHDaY MaMa  

[Below, white petals from what are probably daisies are glued to the paper in a haphazard fashion. There is also one unidentifiable leaf. Further below still, there is the blocky writing of an older child. Here there are only two ink blots:]  

Happy birthday, dearest mother  

[At the end of this line and done in the same hand, there is a simple drawing of two children. There is a bigger boy- indicated by the sharp, spiky hair- and a smaller girl, indicated by a hair bow. Both faces have big, wide smiles.]  

[The rest of the page is filled with a neat and feminine adult hand. It stretches onto the second sheet:]  

Dear Mama,  

Tomorrow it is your birthday, and Grandmother has reminded us that birthdays are for presents. We wished to give you some shiny stones we found in the garden, but she said that Mamas particularly like nice words as presents.  

She has helped us write this list of ten of our favourite things about you: 

  1. You are very soft, and we like your kisses. Papa’s kisses are very scratchy and itchy because of his hair. But your cheeks are smooth, and you give us big squeezes, and we like those.  
  2. You know all of our favourite cakes and make them with Mrs. Arthur. We do not like when you make us eat brussels sprouts but you make it better with cake. We especially like chocolate sponge cake. Can we have chocolate sponge cake for your birthday please.  
  3. You take us on small adventures, like to the park. We like going on big adventures too with you and Papa, like the seaside. I (Emmett) found four shells on our last trip, and I still keep them next to my bed and put the big one to my ear at night to hear the sea. I (Ceecee) liked the ice cream and want to have ice cream again. I (Emmett) also liked when we went to the fair with Mama Livvie and I won a set of dominoes at the cup game. The dominoes are also next to my bed. 
  4. I (Ceecee) like that you have very long hair. It is very pretty. I (Ceecee) want to have long hair with braids like you.  
  5. You are good at reading stories. We especially like it when you do the silly voices or take turns with Papa doing silly voices. 
  6. When we are sad confused or scared, you help us to feel better again. I (Emmett) know you will always help me when the world gets too loud, and it makes me braver. I need to be brave like Papa, so this is good. 
  7. You smell like our favourite flowers in the garden, the pink ones. It is a nice smell and it is another reason why you are so nice to hug.
  8. You fix all of the clothes and toys that we tear or break. I (Ceecee) cried when bunny’s ear came off, but you made him whole again. You also sew pretty things. I (Emmett) like that you sewed trains onto my pillowcase. I (Ceecee) like the rabbits on mine.  
  9. You sing when we go to sleep, and we like that. You always sing our favourite songs. 
  10. Your laugh is happy. It makes us happy too. Sometimes Papa picks you up and spins you around and you laugh very big, and then you laugh when he puts you down and picks us up to swing us instead. We like it when he swings us while you laugh.  

We can’t wait to meet the new baby that is in your belly. We promise to be a very good older brother and sister and to not fight so much over our toys. We even promise that the baby can have a turn with the wooden elephant, even though it is our favourite.  

All our love,  

Emmett and Ceecee (and Grandma)  

[At the very bottom of the second page, another hand takes over. While an adult’s hand, it is much sharper and messier:]  

Your mother gave this to me to put on your bedside tomorrow morning. Very educational- had no idea that my beard offended my children so much. Funny that you’ve never complained, Turtledove. 

I plan to insist on you sleeping in, tomorrow, as I also plan on keeping you up late tonight. More of a present for me, if I’m honest, but I’m selfish like that. You already know this. You already know everything there is to know about me, but somehow, I still wake up and find you next to me every morning.  

I hope you know I would’ve asked you to marry me another thousand times if that was what it took. No matter the wait, it would’ve been worth it.  

Your loving husband and so on and so forth,  

[The signature is smeared, like the writer was not patient enough to wait for the ink to dry.]  

Jacob F. 

 

 

Notes:

A few small things since I don’t expect anyone to remember what happened in this fic: “Mama Livvie” is Lavinia, Emmett’s birth mother.

Ceecee is, in this case, a nickname for Cecily- named after Jacob’s mother.

I knew I wanted this story to have a very short epilogue. About once a month over the last few years, I would sit and think: when could I set it? How can I capture a lot about the reader’s future in a short space? What would make it feel finished, even though it essentially was finished with the last chapter? I’d toss some ideas back and forth, like none of them, and set the fic back down. Then, on a walk today, it finally hit me: I just needed a different format and POV. Just like that, I was able to sit down and capture everything that felt important in under 1000 words. Writing is so funny.

It took over five years for me to write this piece. My life has changed considerably in that space, and no doubt yours has too. I’ve moved onto other fandoms, and then onto other original projects, but a comment would trickle in on this work every now and again, always positive, always kind. You’re the loveliest readers. Thank you for your patience.

Sometimes, when I need a little encouragement, I return to this fic and reread old comments. Please know that every single one is appreciated, and if you enjoyed this fic over the years, it would make me very happy to hear about it. And of course, if you aren’t a commenting person, please know that I’m grateful to you as well.

Thank you, all of you, for joining me on this very gentle fic.

(Would I even be me without some recommended reading? Here- have a blog post about Victorian children’s toys).