Chapter Text
[sad school bois]
hopefulsprite: HEY GUYS
hopefulsprite: CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I JUST CAUGHT NAMJOON AND SEOKJIN MAKING OUT IN THE HALLWAY
hopefulsprite: RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SPRITE
taetae: ******SALAD HOBI IT’S SALAD
mochicheeks: NAMJOON AND SEOKJIN HYUNGS???
hopefulsprite: YES
hopefulsprite: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
sugadaddy: they made out?
sugadaddy: about damn time
kookie: speaking of about time when are you and jimin planning on making out like ?
sugadaddy: can we remove the toddler
modelstatus: HOSEOK
modelstatus: why would you tell everyone
modelstatus: weren’t gonna ask me first??
modelstatus: maybe i didn’t want everyone to know right away??
hopefulsprite: oh no wait jinnie hyung i’m sorry
hopefulsprite: please don’t be upset i was just excited :((((
hopefulsprite: i’m sorry i wasn’t thinking
modelstatus: lmfao i love you you’re so gullible
modelstatus: i’m not mad sweetie
hopefulsprite: i’m moving out
modelstatus: YES my darlings namjoon and i are together now
modelstatus: so that means hands off for real jungkook
modelstatus: he ain’t your daddy anymore he’s mine
kookie: THAT WAS A MISTAKE
mochicheeks: whoa i didn’t take seokjin to be the possessive type
modelstatus: i’m not possessive!
modelstatus: so long as you all
modelstatus:
mochicheeks: oh my god
mochicheeks: we’ve officially lost him guys
sugadaddy: we been knew
curiousjoon: hey :)
curiousjoon: jinnie i said don’t worry lol jungkook was never my baby
kookie: why the fuck are you bringing me into this again
modelstatus: i know, that’s because he’s my baby
modelstatus: my precious son
kookie: i want death
mochicheeks: ok can we back up for a second
mochicheeks: CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!!!! YOU’RE THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER I LOVE YOU BOTH PLS MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY <3
taetae: what are you so cute for
modelstatus: thanks bb :*
curiousjoon: haha thanks jiminie
curiousjoon: how's it going with you and your boyfriend though?
taetae: what
kookie: what
hopefulsprite: what
sugadaddy: what boyfriend
curiousjoon: guys,,,,you didn’t know??
mochicheeks: namjoon i swear
taetae: are u just messing with us,,,,he would never get laid w/out telling me
curiousjoon: oh my god
curiousjoon: yoongi duh
sugadaddy: duh what?
curiousjoon: you’re his boyfriend duh
[sugadaddy has left the chat]
mochicheeks: NAMJOON
curiousjoon: :D
taetae: ASLKJDALSHDKAH
taetae: HE GOT YOU GOOD JIMINIE
taetae: where’s the lie tho
[modelstatus added sugadaddy to the chat]
sugadaddy: namjoon we live together i can very easily kill you in your sleep
kookie: wait i’m so confused are they dating or not
sugadaddy: NO
mochicheeks: NO
kookie: but..?
kookie:
kookie: perfect couple??
taetae: jungkook i think i love you
mochicheeks: S T O P
sugadaddy: okay so we have pics together how does that mean anything
modelstatus: joonie and i have pics together
modelstatus: and now we’re dating
mochicheeks: but tae and kookie have pics together and they’re not dating!!
curiousjoon: they basically are
kookie: we’re basically not
taetae: we’re not? D:
taetae: you wound me oppa
kookie:
taetae: I CRY
curiousjoon: why me
curiousjoon: what did i do to deserve this
kookie: hyung, do not call me oppa i will castrate you
taetae: ok hold on i’ll cross out “oppa kink” on my list of things to do w you
mochicheeks: TAEHYUNG STOP BEING SO LOUD
kookie:
curiousjoon: see my point exactly
curiousjoon: basically dating
kookie: haha except i’m exTREMely unCOMFOrtable
taetae: aw why are you un-cum-fortable
mochicheeks: KIM FUCKING TAEHYUNG
kookie: eomma bogoshipda
taetae: aw i didn’t know you had a mommy kink
kookie: i-
modelstatus: oh my god what do you want from him
taetae: dick
kookie:
mochicheeks: me too man
taetae: oKay wHOa that’s harsh no need to meme me now
kookie: the meme
kookie: the meme is harsh
kookie: THATS what you think is too far jfc
taetae: you know i’m just messing with you <3
modelstatus: are you tho
taetae:
modelstatus: wHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY MEMES OF ME STOP
taetae: hobi hyung sends them to jimin at night
mochicheeks: then i send them to taetae
taetae: and i send them to everyone
kookie: and just like that my faith in you is restored
taetae: i have a lot of hot pics of jungkook too
kookie: never mind