Chapter Text
[sad school bois]
hopefulsprite: hey guys
hopefulsprite: guess what
sugadaddy: you’re invading my personal space, yes i know
hopefulsprite: well yes there’s that but
hopefulsprite: i have a feeling jimin would like to know that namjoon slept over with seokjin last night
hopefulsprite: we switched dorms for the night
mochicheeks: THEY HAD A SLEEPOVER????
sugadaddy: yes and they left the koala horse with me
hopefulsprite: you love me
sugadaddy: not when you’re using me instead of the mattress
taetae: omg did they fuck
hopefulsprite: if they did it better not have been on the couch
taetae: no i was talking about you two
sugadaddy: no
hopefulsprite: yes
taetae: …
hopefulsprite: lol i’m kidding we just cuddled intensely
sugadaddy: more like you non-consensually smothered me to death
[mochicheeks, taetae chat]
mochicheeks: i’m not jealous
taetae: sure you’re not
mochicheeks: why does hobi get to cuddle with him
mochicheeks: :(
taetae: want me to fight
taetae: i’ll go over there and fight him for you
mochicheeks: i love you
mochicheeks: but no
mochicheeks: i just wanna cuddle him :(
mochicheeks: more like i want him to cuddle me but
[sad school bois]
mochicheeks: so mission update is we don’t know if they did the do?
kookie: yo i just woke up whats going on
taetae: ???? it’s 10:30 don’t you have school??
kookie: yes, it’s third period
mochicheeks: what did we tell you about sleeping in class jeon jungkook!!!!
kookie: that if you have a good grade it doesn’t matter
mochicheeks: you-
mochicheeks: brat
kookie: anyway i saw the words “namjoon” “seokjin” and “fuck” so i’m intrigued
hopefulsprite: weirdo
sugadaddy: i doubt they did tbh
sugadaddy: namjoon’s going through his “prince charming phase” or some shit
taetae: what even is that
sugadaddy: he’s been a gross gentleman for weeks because we watched the little mermaid
sugadaddy: not that being polite is a bad thing but you know what i mean
hopefulsprite: yeah ok but this is namjoon
hopefulsprite: he’s so horny all the time he’s like a fuckboy
taetae: i bet seokjin gave him the succ
mochicheeks: oh no here we go
taetae: both of them strike me as the “lets just do it on the floor” types
hopefulsprite: i hope not
hopefulsprite: my feet are but pure children
taetae: then again seokjin is really vanilla and sappy so
kookie: why do u analyze these things
taetae: it’s important information
taetae: for example, you seem like a whole dom
taetae: but then again maybe a switch because you still have some baby boy in you ya know
kookie: what even
taetae: jimin is a whole sub
hopefulsprite: we been knew
modelstatus: are you children done discussing adult rated content in the presence of a child yet
kookie: DAD UH
taetae: see there’s the baby boy
mochicheeks: hi seokjinnie!!! did you guys have fun? <3
hopefulsprite: don’t be a wuss omg just ask them straight up
curiousjoon: ask what
hopefulsprite: did you guys fuck
modelstatus: i’m starting to regret
taetae: you guys fucked and you regret it???
taetae: damn what kinda kdrama
taetae: joon you good
curiousjoon: jesus we didn’t fuck
taetae: i’m not jesus, but thank you for thinking so highly of me uwu
curiousjoon: brb gonna flip a table
taetae: since i am jesus, i command you not to
taetae: flipping tables is a sin
taetae: tables deserve love, they are always there to support our food
taetae: and sex depending on who you are
kookie: (ʘ∇ʘ)ク 彡 ┻━┻
taetae: the devil will see you now
mochicheeks: okay no more sweetie pie jimin
mochicheeks: did you or did you not fuck we wanna know
sugadaddy: alrighty then
modelstatus: no, we did not
modelstatus: we cuddled
curiousjoon: we cuddled a ton it was a great
curiousjoon: he cooked for me
curiousjoon: and we watched some stupid romcoms
curiousjoon: we definitely made out a lot
modelstatus: which, 10/10 would recommend making out with joon
modelstatus: except you can’t, or i’ll deck you
curiousjoon: <3 <3 <3 <3
kookie: that was kinda disgusting
kookie: but sweet
mochicheeks: aw cute you guys are so domestic
mochicheeks: i’m so happy for you two
sugadaddy: yes sweet and all but seokjin can you come pick up your koala horse
hopefulsprite: :(
modelstatus: just sit him on the sidewalk he’ll find his way home
modelstatus: he's microchipped anyway
sugadaddy: okay
hopefulsprite: nO
taetae: ok but see with him can’t tell
taetae: he’s so sweet ??? but aggressive too so i’m saying dom
sugadaddy: who tf
taetae: hobi
sugadaddy: he’s a top
sugadaddy: and before you ask no we haven’t fucked so shut up
sugadaddy: i just happen to be the person he sends all his gross fantasies to at three in the morning
taetae: gotcha, i’ll write that down
kookie: you’re so weird
taetae: was i right though?
kookiebun: about?
taetae: about you
kookie: you think i’m a switch?
taetae: sorta, but mostly dom
taetae: right???
kookie: what would you rather i be
taetae: honestly with your abs
taetae: and arms
taetae: i would hope you're a dom
kookie: well then
kookie: i’m dom af taehyungie ;)
[mochicheeks, taetae chat]
taetae: JI MI N WHA T THE F U CK DOES T H AT M E AN
taetae: IS H E F L I R TING
mochicheeks: yes taehyung