Chapter Text
So here's the thing - you're not normal.
You try to be normal but it gets so tiresome, dull, and frustrating to play by the rules of current society. You've spent 16 long years wearing your mask of compliance and it's getting too tight and gosh, isn't it time for some teenage rebellion? Why keep up the facade? Why keep these manners, these rigid guidelines? After all, what have they done for you?
Normal girls are supposed to be fall in love, get married, and have kids. You believe in romance and love, but the roles of girlhood and womanhood seem so dull and needlessly micromanaged to be worth it. Your love isn't normal it seems, since nice girls aren't supposed to have such an infatuation with blood.
But, you don't like being left out. You don't like being disliked and rejected. While you hate the rigid rules, their mundane expectations to perform a certain way, you still want to belong. Just because you know how to entertain yourself doesn't mean you want to spend all your time alone. You're not meant to stay quiet and let others make decisions and commitments for you. What do you value most - playing at belonging, or being genuine to yourself?
You can feel peoples' feelings all the time. You can mimic them too! Being part of a group is safe and all you have to do is reflect what people want to see. You're friendly, sweet, and outgoing, but you really want to know what makes everyone tick. What do others desire, what do they crave, what do they live their life for? What makes them normal, and what makes them participate in society? You want to know how to be them, how to reach their level of contentedness, how to be stable. How can you emulate and embody normalcy - and is normalcy even worth it?
It has to be worth it, right? You spend so much time being normal, being a girl your parents can be proud of, being the child they don't have to worry about. You don't need to be disciplined and you don't need to be reminded about the rules. You know how to stave off his temper and how to redirect his anger. You know not to get in his way, and you know how much you can push him. If only your little sister could be the same. Mom and Dad are simply doing what parents need to do, enforce rules and prepare their children to the best of their ability. Nothing is wrong here. You must be imagining things. You’re just too sensitive, right? It’s so easy to be mad at her, instead. She's aggravating his temper and making it worse. She should just shut up! It's what you do and you're fine. There are times to be loud and times to be quiet. Good girls know this.
She needs more discipline than you. She's wild and disobedient. She still hasn't learned her lessons. Once, he goes too far and pulls her down the stairs. It leaves a bruise this time. The school notices.
“Are you alright? Is this normal behavior?”
“It was an accident. He was trying to get her attention and she slipped on the stairs.”
You think you're telling the truth and in a way, it is a truth. You don’t understand why it’s such a big deal, why the school administrators suddenly care so much. The bruise is bad. He never should’ve done that. He won’t do it again though, he promised.
In a way, her anger and fear are more terrifying than his. She is manipulative, terrifying, and constantly fighting with harsh or saccharine words. She has something to prove - more specifically, she fights to be acknowledged. Do you fight for anything? Would you fight for anything?
You're 16 and you know what each of your family member is like inside. You've worn their skins and you've felt how they feel. There is no reason to take them apart further, to see behind the scenes. You feel empty, sometimes, when everything and everyone gets quiet. When you aren't talking, when you aren't listening, when others are no longer near everything seems so overwhelming and stressful and your mind goes on strange pathways.
You're 16 and your quirk is a party trick. You're a great actress and everyone likes to see what you can do, how far you can pretend. Some people might whisper how creepy it is but overall you've painted yourself in such a positive light that everyone is willing to share a little blood here and there. What's some red blood cells between friends, after all?
This isn't really an origin story. Maybe it's a breaking point? Either way, you just want to live your life your way. Why is that so hard to accomplish?