Chapter Text
Tadashi sat at school the next day but only physically. In his thoughts Ryutaro and his conversation from yesterday played again and again in his head. Taro looking so ambitious about his dancing…. Living for something, doing your best for something. Somehow Tadashi admired that. He was never good at anything and there was nothing he really believed in.
The blond looked into his bag and saw Ryutaro’s gloves lying in there. He wanted to return the gloves today because it became really cold outside and he didn’t want the young boy to freeze. Tadashi could manage the cold but he wasn’t so sure about Ryutaro. But to bring them home to Ryutaro? Tadashi wasn’t so sure about that. Although Ryutaro seemed not to care about his appearance Tadashi didn’t want to cause him any trouble. He was sure that his parents or whoever saw him during the daytime wouldn’t approve of a punk hanging around in such a neighbourhood.
So the state ballet school…. That was his next stop. After the lesson was over Tadashi got his bag and left school. It was a beautiful but cold midday so why spend it at school anyway. Tadashi took the subway and got off the station called “State University”…. Sounded important enough to him. It took him another half an hour and a lot of asking people before he was finally guided into the right direction and behind the state university was a smaller building with a sign, reading “State Dancing School.” Sounded like a deal. The punk entered and the pupils stopped walking, whispering to each other after seeing an outlaw of society walking totally self-confident into the building. His boots echoed down the hall, his metal jewellery jingling with each step and he enjoyed it. After he entered the building he saw a great difference in the pupils he was used to. In this school they all carried a certain “air” around them. Being motivated, creative, happy…. It felt kind of nice. These people were happy to be here.
At the end of the corridor, Tadashi asked a girl where the ballet department was. She pointed down the right corridor and told him around the corner. Tadashi followed her instructions and already heard live piano music coming from inside one training hall. He stopped at the entry door which was slightly pulled open and he peeked into it. A group of girls stood at the back of the hall, dressed in beautiful white tutu dresses. Only three boys were amongst them…. And one of them was dancing a solo. Taro.
In his tight ballet shirt and black trousers he moved graciously to the piano music. Lifting his feet and jumping like a cat, fast steps changing with slow steps… his posture was tensed but perfectly fitting to the mood of the song. The expression of his dance was almost palpable and his feelings seemed to reach from toe to his outstretched fingers. He was really talented. Or at least Tadashi thought so.
Tadashi caught himself watching with his mouth wide open. He was positively surprised. For him the dance was perfect although the grim looking teacher repeatedly yelled French instructions in between. His teacher shouted and the piano ended playing but repeated the last act again. Patiently Ryutaro repeated the last dancing steps but his teacher still wasn’t satisfied. She dismissed him and called in for another boy to continue their training. Taro bended down and turned around to head to the others at the end of the room when he saw a familiar strand of hair through the gap of the door. . He couldn’t believe his eyes and taken aback took a closer look.
Tadashi smiled to himself when he saw the little one hesitating to come over or not and his smile vanished when Taro turned away from him to walk back to the others. He whispered to some of them but finally came closer to leave the room. He looked down to the ground, closing the door behind him.
“Tadashi! What are you doing here?” He almost whispered. Not that he was ever a loud talker.
“Just wanted to return the gloves to you.”
“You came all the way just for that?” The smaller boy wondered.
“Sure. It’s cold and you should have them.” Tadashi rummaged through his bag but Taro laid his hands onto the bag and told him: “Keep them. You need them more than me.”
“Nah, I can’t life with the knowledge of you having none… and besides: They are white. It suits you better.”
Taro looked like he was having an idea. He pulled up his hands and pointed Tadashi to wait. He returned into the lecturing room only to come back moments afterwards with something in his hands.
“You take these,” Taro gave him a pair of black knitted gloves, “and I will keep the white ones.”
“But-“
“It’s a thank you gift for your help.”
Tadashi thought about it and then accepted the gift. “Thanks for the gloves.”
“You’re welcome.”
The blond nodded and looked around the corridor. “You’ve got a nice school here.”
“Hn.”
“People seem all right.”
“Yes they are.”
Silence.
“I’m keeping you from practice. I will leave-“
“It’s okay.”
“Sorry ‘bout the intrusion.”
Silence again.
“Your dance was beautiful.” Tadashi added with a lower voice. Taro looked back at him in surprise. “Although the old hag was nagging at you.”
The young boy couldn’t help himself but his heart beat faster from the compliment. It was embarrassing but somehow he was really happy about it. Taro scratched his head. “I’m really not that good.”
“Stop it…. You are. Acknowledge it.”
Insecure, Taro nodded. “Thank you.”
Tadashi looked around and found other pupils starring at them. It was quite unusual to see one of their fellow pupils having contact to a dangerous looking guy and besides… Tadashi was way to huge to not notice.
“Gotta go, people are staring…”
Taro nodded and with a quick wave Tadashi turned around to leave. He walked a few steps when Taro’s voice sounded behind him.
“I’m done in 30 minutes. And you?”
Tadashi was surprised by the sudden invitation. He turned around but nodded before really thinking about it. “Sure. I’ll wait outside.”
Taro smiled and with a nod he disappeared inside the training hall again.
Near the entrance Tadashi spotted a bench and settled down, only to lighten a cigarette and smoking until the little one was done with practice. He observed the kids and fellow students walking and running all over campus. To him it seemed like being in another town. He would have never believed that people could be happy about going to school. He furrowed his brow because the whole thing made him think too much.
Minutes later, Tadashi looked up startled when someone jumped onto the empty space next to him. Ryutaro.
“So quick?”
“Yes.” Taro nodded shyly but beamed.
“You feeling better? Still having a lot of stress?”
“Yes, thank you. I’m feeling better although there is always stress.”
Tadashi wanted to offer him a cigarette, out of habit with his other friends but guessed right that Taro didn’t smoke.
“So your fellow students and you get along well?”
Tadashi looked at Taro and found the smaller one looking with a grimace. “Well, you see… everything about dancing is competition. We respect each other but there is a lot of gossip going on.”
The blond pulled up his head and leaned back against the bench. He stretched out his arms and laid them on top of it. “So that’s how it is behind the shining surface. I see….”
“But not all of them are like that.”
Tadashi lit another cigarette. “You can’t trust anybody. That’s what I’ve learned.” He inhaled deeply. Ryutaro was surprised about that sad comment and already wanted to retard when he heard a voice calling over to them.
“Oi! Ballet-boy!”
Like a wolf in reflex, Tadashi looked quickly from wincing Ryutaro over to the group of well-dressed boys who were all laughing at Ryutaro.
“What nice people you hang out with.”
Tadashi shot up from his seat and pulled up his chin threatening. “You got a problem?” He hissed at them and the leader of the group came closer.
“No, only with that faggot dancer.”
That was it. In reflex, Tadashi grabbed the sleek guy at his collar and pulled him inches up from the ground. “You repeat that and I will make sure that daddy has to pay for your new nose.”
“Tadashi!!” Taro grabbed him at his arm. “Let him be, I don’t care!”
The sleek guy grinned dirtily at Tadashi and the blond would have so loved to beat the shit out of him but hearing Taro whimpering next to him and still holding onto his arm…. He slowly settled the guy back onto the ground. But didn’t let him go without a last warning. “Another word from you to Ryutaro and I will send you back home in pieces. You understand? And now get lost before I change my mind.” Tadashi let go of the guy’s collar disgusted and pushed him away.
“I can easily bring you into jail, dirtbag!” The stupid guy said with a whining tone but Tadashi simply added. “Not when you’re dead.”
The guy looked back at Tadashi with an unreadable glare. He rejoined his group and together they left the place with a lot of chattering.
With shaking hands, Taro sat down on the bench and he covered his face with both of them. He was totally shaky and close to tears. An unknown feeling crept inside Tadashi's chest, seeing Taro hurt like this.... he sat down next to him and lay one hand onto Taro’s shoulder.
“Hey, they are gone.”
Taro shook his head and it took him a while until he was able to speak again, his voice still shaking. “F-for now… but what about tomorrow? The following days?”
The blond narrowed his eyes. “How long is this bullying going on?”
“Since I‘ve started here.”
“And when was that?” Tadashi asked in disbelieve.
“Two years ago.”
“WHAT THE HELL?! And you’re doing nothing about it?!”
Taro dropped his hands and looked back at Tadashi whom still had his hand on Taro’s shoulder. “Look at me! I’m all weak. There is nothing I could do.”
Tadashi tried to put himself in Taro’s place and he had to admit that it was dangerous. He looked back at Taro who was just so happy a moment ago and now a total mess. Tadashi couldn’t help himself. He ruffled through Taro’s hair.
“I will look out for you.”
Surprised, the young boy turned at Tadashi who rested with his hand on Taro’s head where it became warm.... the black hair was so soft underneath his grip...
“If these troublemakers ever bother you again, you call me.”
The young man’s eyes started to water and Tadashi moved back his hand in shock. “What? Don’t cry!”
“But B-but… no one ever did that for me!”
“What? Look out for you?” Tadashi wondered and came to the conclusion that money didn’t seem to always help. Taro nodded. Another pat on his head followed.
“Then you’ve got a protector now. I decided to help you because you’re special.”
The blond stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, too quick so that he missed Taro blushing from his last comment.
“Gimme your mobile.” The punk demanded and Taro rummaged through his bag. He handed it to Tadashi and the blond dialled a number and saved it. “There you go.” He gave it back to Taro and the little one nodded thankfully.
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
But Tadashi only patted his head again. He couldn’t help himself but it felt right every time he did it. “When you’re in trouble, you call me. Any time. Most of the time I’m awake.”
Taro was so happy from that simple offer. It warmed his heart and made his pulse go faster. Never had anyone looked out for him, offered him help or anything that wasn’t buyable with money. It was worth more than anything else…. A friend. The black haired boy beamed happily and he didn’t care that Tadashi was a punk with whatever background… he liked him.
Taro collected his bag and jumped behind Tadashi whom had already started to walk away from the grounds to get to the subway. Going home together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That’s how it started for them hang out together. In the mornings they took the same train to school and in the evening too. If possible, Tadashi fetched Ryutaro from school and often he watched Taro during his lessons. Seeing him dance was somehow soothing to Tadashi. It gave him a feeling that everything would be okay and the world was a nice place.
By showing himself at the grounds Tadashi made sure that thouse stupid guys left Ryutaro alone. Tadashi HATED bullying and stupidity and would always handle it in the name of the weak. And luckily no one dared to mock Ryutaro because over the weeks Ryutaro became well known to be the guy with a ‘dangerous punk friend’. Tadashi laughed it off and Taro was fine with it.
Although they saw each other almost every day now, Ryutaro spoke very little about himself. Now and then he dared to ask Tadashi some questions and the blond was fine with it. In fact, Ryutaro was a pleasant fellow to be with. Always gentle, never persistent. Now and then Tadashi lost himself in conversation, especially when Taro asked him about his opinion of something and Tadashi was a talkactive and interested person which came with the punk attitude. Taro was fascinated by Tadashi’s knowledge about society and politics. There were many things he’d never heard of before and they were so interesting.
One evening, in the middle of December, Tadashi went inside the building to wait for Taro. It was already dark outside and through the corridors Tadashi heard a lovely lullaby played on the piano. The blond stopped in front of the music hall and found Taro sitting on the piano playing, then stopping right in the middle, making notes and then continuing with playing. Tadashi knocked on the door and Taro almost fell down from the chair startled by the entery. It was quite late for a normal school day and since Tadashi couldn’t reach him on his mobile he’d decided to look after him…. Just in case.
“What are you doing?” Tadashi walked behind Taro and looked at the medium sized piano and the music sheets on top of it.
“Nothing important…” Taro collected the sheets of paper. “Just a little composing, just for fun.”
“It sounded beautiful.” Tadashi bent down and looked at the remaining music sheets which were drawn clumsily by Ryutaro’s hand. Taro’s first impulse was to hide the imperfect music sheets but for a moment he was too busy smelling Tadashi’s scent. A mixture of leather and tobacco…. Over the weeks Taro had become so used to that scent. Somehow it calmed him down from all this stress.
“Taro, let’s go. It’s late.”
When was it that Tadashi had started calling him like that? He couldn't recall but he loved it every time he said it. No one called him like that which made it only more special. On their way out, Taro told him about his day.
“… and there is a short test in dance next week. If I fail that I won’t be allowed to take part at the audition in two months.”
“Are you afraid of it?”
“Yes, kind of.”
“Your parents coming?”
Taro looked down to the ground. “They never do.”
The blond next to him nodded. “All right. I’ll be there.”
“Really? You will come?” There was a flicker of something in Taro’s eyes.
“Sure. I like to see you dance and if it helps I will try to calm you down.”
“Yay!” Taro beamed and a bright smile was all over his face. Which was strange because it made Tadashi happy too. Well, wasn’t it the biggest joy to make others happy with simple things? It was always nice when the little one was happy and his smiles were really rare. So this must mean a lot to him.
Out of the blue Tadashi patted Taro’s head, a habit he never got rid of and the little one looked up at him. The blond continued talking without noticing Taro’s gaze though. Fact was that Taro realized Tadashi doing it quite often…. Not that he disliked it. On the contrary.
“You sure I should come?”
“Of course!” Taro was still happy.
“You know,” Tadashi scratched his head, “I don’t want to ruin your reputation or something among important people. If they see you with me-“
“Tadashi.” Taro interrupted which was something he usually never did. “I’m never ashamed of my friends, never.”
“You really got balls.” The punk smiled and the piercing on his lips moved with it. Taro found it fascinating. “I’m ruining your chances with the girls. No one wants a boyfriend with a punk buddy.”
Taro suddenly became very quite. It was never easy for him to talk about ‘that kind of matters’ since there weren’t really any. By the looks of Tadashi, despite his punk attitude, Taro guessed that he must be a womanizer and quite popular with the girls. He was tall, he was bad ass, had a handsome face, killer eyes, beautiful hands, his body was well built-
“Taro?”
The dark haired boy shook his head to wake up from his daydream. “Excuse me, daydreaming.”
The blond gave a nod and repeated his question nevertheless. “Must have been a nice dream.”
Taro blushed and waved it down with his hand. “Just tired ne.” Tadashi felt that Taro tried to avoid the topic so he simply changed it. “So you also play the piano… since when?”
“I was five years old.”
“Good Lord! You must be a little Mozart by now!”
“Oh well….” Taro looked down onto the ground sheepishly. He didn’t want to admit it but he was good at playing it because he loved classical music. That’s what brought him to ballet in the first place. “Classical music is my life.”
“I see… But of course! That’s why you’re dancing!”
Tadashi had such a sharp mind, Taro liked him for that.
“You know… although I’m into rock music and stuff doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate other music. I admire people who are able to play an instrument. I never got the chance to.”
Ryutaro was surprised. He never heard of such a thing. “Really? You never even tried?”
“Nah, strum a few chords on a friends guitar, that’s it.”
“So if you’d a choice which instrument would you play?”
“Bass. It must be great to feel the rhythm.”
Taro looked up at Tadashi’s face and saw his eyes shining. It was something he never seen at the blond before and the moment he said it he wanted to help him with that dream.
“Then you’ll do it.”
Tadashi looked strangely down at smaller Taro who looked back at him with a sincere face. “What are you talking about Taro?”
“You can take classes at our school.”
“I’d love to but no money.”
“That’s my concern.”
“What?! No way! No, we’re not having this conversation.”
“Tadashi,” Taro turned at the punk and hold onto his arm, “you’re looking out for me. That’s the least I can do.”
He thought a moment about it and didn’t like to be dependent from somebody, moreover somebody’s money… although he had to admit that it was quite tempting. “No Taro, I can’t do it. And besides, I’m looking out for you because you’re my friend.”
That sounded too good to be true but the smaller one stayed persistent. “You will get me tomorrow after school?”
“Sure.”
“I will introduce you to the bass teacher.”
The blond shook his head again and tried to move back but Taro kept on holding his arm. “Tadashi! Now listen! You better become good at playing bass, then we can make music together!”
“Yeah, some kind of punk rock Mozart concert.”
“Sure, why not? Sounds interesting.”
Taro didn’t let go of his eyes and the blond again had to admit that he really had guts…. He hung his head low in defeat and Taro beamed happily at himself.
“I will be terrible.” Tadashi stammered when he followed Taro up the street of his neighbourhood. He always escorted Taro to the front of the house gates... just in case.
“No way! You will be good! I can’t wait for your progress.” Taro turned around because they’d arrived at his home.
“So tomorrow 5 pm?” Tadashi asked and Taro nodded. “Yes.” He rummaged through his bag to get the keys when his breath suddenly came to a halt. Out of the blue Tadashi just hugged him tightly. His heart beat fast as he stood as stiff as a metal pole. That was something the blond hasn’t done before and yet he had fantasized it so often! What he would do, say....
Taro was dead nervous but before he was able to move or act himself, dare realizing it, Tadashi moved back and ruffled through his hair like he always did.
“Thank you Taro.”
The stunned little person was only able to nod and to stammer a ‘good night’.
“I’ll repay someday!” Tadashi saluted and went his way.
Down the streets Taro observed Tadashi walking down to the next subway station. It had become a habit of him, watching Tadashi until he couldn’t see him anymore. Paralyzed by that feeling he opened the metal gate with his keys and the moment he closed it again, when he felt the cold wind on his hot cheeks he knew that there was something much deeper inside of him that felt something for Tadashi… but he didn’t dare continue that thought. So he walked back over the large property to their main house.
When Tadashi arrived at home he wanted to go straight to his room but his mother shouted from inside the living room.
“Tadashi? You back again?”
“Hn.”
“You attending class regularly these days? That’s really nice….”
Tadashi left it uncommented and closed the door behind himself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
All this thinking, thinking, thinking…. It was ridiculous and he felt helpless about it. But the more he told his brain not to think about it the stronger it got. It was frustrating.
Taro walked through Shibuya on his search for Christmas presents. Only two weeks until Christmas and he really had to get something for his parents and he wanted to get Tadashi something as well. So he went down Shibuya the following morning, a few hours before his training was leaving. Many strange people crossed his way, people he was former afraid of but now after some time he realized that they weren’t as scary as he’d always thought they would be. All kind of different street fashion crossed his way… Lolitas, Gals, and now and then when he saw a strands of blond hair he looked up in reflex only to scold himself afterwards for being tricked.
A few hours later, Taro returned to the train station happily because of his new purchase. He hoped that Tadashi would like it.
He crossed the well-known meeting point of street musicians and artists when he finally heard a commotion at the park entrance. At first he wanted to pass the bunch of streetpunks when he saw a dangerously familiar hairstyle among these people. Not again but then....
“Tadashi? Can it be?!” Taro whispered at himself. He ran over to the fighting bunch. People already walked in big circles around the fighting punks. Some shouted to call the police but whatever it was that brought up that temper must have been something very harsh because neither one of them was able to calm down. Two were fighting while four others stood around them in a semi-circle, either shouting for them or against them.
When Taro came closer he swore that his heart stopped for a single moment. It was Tadashi right in the middle of this brawl and he already carried clear signs of it. His lip was swollen and bloody and his eye was semi black.
“TADASHI!!”
The blond turned around startled. He'd always had good reflexes. That was the last voice he’d expected to hear here on this scene. He saw Taro running towards them and so did the other rowdie from his school.
“Speak of the devil, there comes your new boy-toy!”
Tadashi darted forward and punched the guy right into his face again. Taro yelled out in shock then another punch followed at the side of Tadashi’s head which sent him down spinning from the loss of balance. The rowdie’s friends picked Tadashi up at his shoulders and hold him up straight, just ready to get his ass kicked again.
“That’s what you get for messing with the schools leader you sissy punk-ass!”
The rowdie-guy pulled back his arm, ready for another punch but stopped when Taro jumped right in between. He hung around Tadashi’s throat and cried on his shoulder. The blond breathed heavily from exhaustion and pain and Taro adding to this weight made it not easier.
“Get away Taro… it’s dangerous…” Tadashi said with a husky tone.
“Are you mad?! How could I?!”
The rowdie let go off Tadashi and Taro caught him in his arms.
“Too bad I’m not beating girls.” He had a disgusting voice.
“Boss, we gotta go! Police’s coming!”
The bunch of four rowdies disappeared into the city.
Taro trembled more from shock than Tadashi. The blond looked badly beaten up. His whole body ached.... he thanked God that Taro arrived later and not at the beginning.
“Tadashi, how could you?!” Taro cried silently while Tadashi leaned with his upper body against Taro and with his chin on Taro’s shoulder.
“They said mean things about you. I can’t tolerate that.”
Surprised, the smaller man moved back and looked at Tadashi’s face. “You fool! Sometimes you should! I don’t care what they say!”
“But I do.” Tadashi forced a smile with his crocked teeth and moved up.
“We gotta go, the police….”
Taro nodded and hung one arm from Tadashi over his shoulders. As quickly as it was possible they took the next train.
“Where are we going?” Taro asked inside the train and tried to ignore the people starring at Tadashi’s beaten up face. One seat became empty and Taro forced Tadashi down to sit on it.
“I’m going home.”
“I’ll come with you!”
“Absolutely not. You will miss your dance lesson…. I can’t live with that guilt.”
“But—“
Tadashi glared up at standing Taro and shut him up with it. “I’ve been through worse Taro and you gotta be a pro someday. That’s what counts.”
Although the whole situation was more than desperate, Taro couldn’t help but to feel flattered from Tadashi’s belief in him. But seeing the blood on the taller man’s face… Taro pulled out a light green handkerchief and carefully wiped over the harmed face. Tadashi slightly winced by the contact but his forehead softened when Taro cared down his cheek.
“You're impossible.”
Tadashi hissed while he laughed.
“There you go. Take this with you.” Taro gave him his handkerchief.
“I don’t need it. It’ll be all dirty.”
Now Taro insisted with his glare and Tadashi took it without another word spoken.
“You promise me to go straight home and rest? Otherwise I can’t concentrate on dancing.” Taro stared with his huge dark eyes at Tadashi who gave in willingly. “Promise.”
Taro touched Tadashi’s shoulder before he went off the train and all that remained was Taro’s light green handkerchief in Tadashi’s hands. The blond, beaten up punk looked at it while the fight earlier repeated in his head once more....
“Oi you! Fashion-punk! Hanging out with rich boys now?!” “Yeah! And gay dancers too!” “You became such a shame for this school.”
Tadashi furrowed his brow but stopped immediately by the sting in his head. They got him pretty bad this time because like always he simply couldn’t shut up. He would never feel ashamed of Ryutaro. He liked him and cared for him. He was a friend and even now it seemed that Taro knew him deeper than anyone else before. Taro was sharp and saw through things even if he was young and had tender appearance. He never judged Tadashi and listened to everything he had to say. He became…. Irreplaceable.
Arriving at home, Tadashi went into the bathroom to take a shower. Thankfully his mother was at work otherwise she would have suffered a heart attack as well. The blond undressed slowly in front of the floor length mirror… and he had to admit that he carried some nice marks. Black spots. On his rips and backside. What a triumph… he wasn’t proud of it. First he felt very strong but after he'd seen Taro’s face today and his voice in panic…. Tadashi somehow felt ashamed for causing so much trouble. And knowing Taro he was sure his concentration during training will be quasi non-existing. Well done Tadashi. But how come he saw him there in the city anyway? Must be fate or something, Christ.
After his shower, Tadashi got something to eat before he fell asleep on his bed, dressed in only a casual white T-Shirt and black joggers on. Although he had slept well the night before he rested like the dead. He was exhausted from the terrible day.
Making him totally unaware of the fact that his mother returned from work and the fact that she opened the door for another visitor this evening.
A soft knock on Tadashi’s door and after he didn’t answered it the person opened it slowly anyway. A well-known black haired guy tiptoed into the room. It was his first visit here.
Taro spotted Tadashi asleep on his bed so he closed the door behind himself and stopped in the middle of the small room. He looked around amazed by the many posters on the wall, showing crazy clothed punk rock stars… Tadashi’s clothes were scattered almost over the whole floor and CD’s and a CD-Player with earphones lay right next to Tadashi’s bed. Taro turned his attention back to the soundly asleep person on the bed and had to smile to himself from that beautiful sight. Tadashi lay on his back and all his limps stretched out into all kind of directions…. Making his shirt revealing half of his stomach.
Taro blushed. But nevertheless he slowly tiptoed forward and sank onto his knees, to kneel in front of Tadashi’s bed. He was so concerned about him throughout his entire training...He'd even managed to find out about his address through Tadashi’s school. It was hard to receive but worth all the whining. Not to mention Tadashi’s mother who was kind of surprised to find the delicate young man standing in front of their door and looking even more surprised after Taro had introduced himself as a school friend…. More or less. Her faced had brightened up from hearing about a school friend and she welcomed him kindly. And now there he was…. Gawking at the beautifully sleeping face, trying not to concentrate on this flat stomach too much. In reflex, Taro slowly pulled out his mobile phone but he hesitated. Desire winning over logic he just took the long wanted photo of Tadashi’s sleeping face and put the mobile back into his pocket. His gaze wandered down Tadashi’s bare arm. Hesitantly he slowly reached forward to touch the bruised skin and jolted when he felt it being ice cold. Taro jumped up from the sitting position and reached for Tadashi’s blanket. Carefully he covered Tadashi with it which made the blond sleeping man murmur in his sleep.
Taro’s cheeks reddened. He was so sweet in his sleep. Almost like a child. And it broke the curve when Tadashi cuddled with his blanket. Awwwww, Taro thought and sat back on the floor next to Tadashi’s head, watching him sleep. In reflex the young man reached forward to touch the spiky blond hair but stopped halfway when Tadashi started to slowly open his eyes. He blinked from his sleep and then suddenly moved back in shock to find someone sitting next to him on the floor.
“Taro!” He said out loud as he sat up on his mattress. “How-?!” Being dizzy from his sleep and too much information going on, Tadashi rubbed his eyes and held his head. Taro looked down to hide his flushed face. He mumbled into his dark hair.
“I’m sorry Tadashi! I’m sorry about the intrusion…”
The blond ruffled through his bed hair and while he looked at Taro funnily. “You’re dirty Taro! Watching people sleep.” He mocked him and gave a cheeky grin.
“Am not! I was just so,” he fumbled with his fingers and of course Tadashi realized it, “concerned about you.”
Silence followed and both of them found it awkward.
“So… how’re you feeling?”
Tadashi pulled down the blanket, only to sit in his T-Shirt and jogging trousers in front of Taro.
“Taro I told you I’ve been through worse.”
With a strange glare the younger man looked up at Tadashi. “Look at you! Your face is messed up! You’re bruised everywhere…. I can’t tolerate this. After all you’re my friend.” His voice became silent again.
Tadashi breathed out loud. “You’re hopeless. Though I’m flattered about your concern…. I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.” Tadashi looked aside but not because he was ashamed of anything but because of Taro’s reading glare. He was capable to see through things, that’s what Tadashi had experienced so far.
“The argument seemed very personal.” Taro continued and Tadashi looked down onto his arm by that statement. “If you don’t want to talk about it-“
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” The younger man bit his lip and he looked down onto his hands. He almost lost balanced when he felt Tadashi ruffled through his soft hair wildly.
“Don’t worry Taro-chan, I’m fine.”
A blush again but the long bangs covered Taro’s face. “You know…” Taro started. “You’re always there for me and I want to be there for you.”
“But you are! Speaking of it…. How did you find out about my address?”
Taro told him about his tactics at the school’s registry and Tadashi laughed out loud but he stopped when a sting went through his forehead…. Okay, they really got him there this time. Surprised by the sudden move Tadashi observed Taro who had jumped onto his bed, only to lift the blond bangs from Tadashi’s face to examine the damage.
“You hurt there?” Taro looked suspicious at Tadashi’s forehead and the blond being surprised and still kind of startled by the sudden reaction, not to mention the touch of Taro’s cold hands, observed Taro looking at his head. He had never been 'that close before....
“I’ll get you a pack of ice.”
“Your hands are cold enough, thank you.”
Surprised, Taro wanted to pull his hand away but Tadashi hold it there, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. Taro’s heart beat wildly from the feeling of Tadashi’s forehead and adding Tadashi’s hand holding him around his wrist steady against his forehead. For other people not sexy, for Taro to die for. Gosh he was so nervous and afraid that his heart could give him away. It felt really good being so close to Tadashi. Not that they have never touched each other somehow but that kind of thing was somehow intimate in its own special way.
“Now your hand is warm.”
“I’m sorry.” Taro was finally able to pull it away and he moved down from Tadashi’s mattress. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize so often….” Tadashi of course felt that Taro behaved kind of strange but he had no idea what was wrong with him. “So, how was your training today?”
“It was okay.” He lied about the part being deadly worried about the foolish beaten up punk. “You missed your first bass lesson though.”
Tadashi opened his eyes and mouth wide. “Holy s----! Oh no! And I was so looking forward to it!”
Taro shook his head and smiled. “You’re impossible. Don’t worry. I talked to the teacher. You will start next week-” Taro’s breath suddenly stuck in his throat when Tadashi out of nowhere darted forward and embraced him tightly. “You’re too good for me.” Taro closed his eyes. Hesitantly he lifted up his arms.. slowly and then for the first time he hugged Tadashi back. The blond felt the tender touch against his back and although it felt kind of nice being held like that… he winced from pain and Taro moved back.
“I’m sorry! I forgot.”
The blond smiled and he moved back onto his bed. He looked aside and checked the clock. It was already past eight in the evening.
“So, you’re staying the night?”
Taro became beet red, no, he almost fainted, trying not to get a nosebleed. He jumped up onto his feet. “NO! Of course not! I mean, I’m sorry for the late intrusion and-“ He stumbled over a stack of magazines but Tadashi realized it in time and caught the young man at his arm.
“No need to apologize, just joking.” Taro felt Tadashi’s breathing chest on his shoulder and before he was able to get used to the warmth and proximity he leaned up and grabbed his bag, ready to leave.
“Sorry again for the intrusion and see you tomorrow then?”
“Sure.”
Taro nodded hectically and closed the door behind him. Tadashi breathed out and wondered about the whole visit but he had no time to finish his thoughts when the smaller one re-entered Tadashi’s room again.
“Sorry! I forgot!” Taro kneeled in front of Tadashi’s bed again and pulled out a tube of cream which he had bought especially for Tadashi’s bruised skin the same day.
“Hn.” Taro stretched out his hand and gestured for Tadashi to give him his arm. The blond did so and observed amazed. Slowly and with knowledgeable hands, Taro applied the cream on the bruised arm. Tadashi’s eyes became hazy from the tender touch but he cleared his throat when Taro moved behind him.
“Your back.” Taro simply said and Tadashi opened his eyes wide in surprise. Now he wondered if he was mere naïve or a tease…. Fact was that his back was REALLY sensitive.
“Ahm Taro, I think I can manage that. My back is all right.”
Tadashi felt the stare burning holes into his head.
“I’M FINE TARO.”
“All right.” Taro moved down from his bed again and put the tube of cream into Tadashi’s hands. “Make use of it.”
“I will.”
“Tomorrow then?”
“Yes.”
And Taro left a second time and this time for real. Tadashi stared at the tube of cream in his hand. No one ever cared for his health, his mother just used to be hysteric about everything but someone caring that much… was something completely new.
‘Now now Tadashi, don’t get used to it. Sooner or later everybody leaves you or wants something in return. Honestly, don’t get used to it.’
But it really left such a nice feeling.