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Carol parked the car in front of her mother's house and honked the horn playfully. Beside her, Maria rolled her eyes.
"Do you really have to do that every time?"
Carol shrugged.
"At least she knows it us."
The three of them climbed out of the car. Monica pulled her headphones off her ears and threw her backpack on her shoulders.
"I don't think she's here."
Carol frowned and walked quickly to the door. She knocked twice and waited. Maria hesitantly stayed by the open trunk of the car, waiting for the front door to open before pulling out their traveling bags.
Carol knocked again.
"Mom?"
She looked through the kitchen window. Though the early afternoon sun was shining brightly in the sky, the inside of the house as rather dark, hidden by thick curtains. Carol stuffed her hands in her pockets.
"She must have gone out."
"Is the car there?" Monica asked logically.
Carol rounded the house to check. A car loudly honked behind them, and Carol jumped before looking at the street. Monica and Maria also turned around. Carol's mother waved at them through the car window. She parked behind them and turned off the ignition. Carol walked up to her as she climbed out of the car, Monica close by.
"I didn't expect you so early," her mother explained, "so I went grocery shopping."
"We left home earlier," Carol replied.
She came to hug her mother, who hugged her back lovingly. Behind them, Monica added:
"Carol was so excited to come she got us in the car before 4 a. m."
"I'm excited to see my mom, sue me. I can only hope you'll be as excited to come home once you're off to college."
Monica rolled her eyes in disbelief. When Carol let go of her mother, the older blonde turned toward Monica.
"Oh Monica, look at you! You've grown so much since last time."
"Not really."
In fact, Monica had stopped growing altogether. She was just taller than Carol, which Carol didn't live well. Carol's mother hugged Monica. Then, she hugged Maria.
"Come on, let's get inside."
Maria went to take their traveling bags out of the trunk, and Carol watched her mother walked up to the door, before looking inside her car. A dozen or so paper bags occupied the backseat. Carol briefly wondered what was in the trunk.
"Do you need help with the groceries?" she asked.
"Yes, please, there's some ice cream in there..."
There was no need to add more, as Carol picked up as many bags as she could in her arms before trotting to the house.
Her mother had unlocked the front door, and while Maria and Monica were taking things up the stairs and in Carol's old bedroom, Carol carried everything to the kitchen counter.
"Don't drop anything," her mother warned.
Carol rolled her eyes.
"I got this," she huffed.
She carefully placed everything back on the counter, then walked back out of the house. With another armful, she had picked up every single bags in the backseat. She brought them back into the kitchen as her mother started placing everything in the fridge. Carol, thinking that there might be more in the trunk, walked back out once again.
She opened the trunk and frowned. There were three flower bouquets in the trunks, laying on a folded tarp. They were mostly white, with a few yellow or pale pink flowers here and there. She closed the trunk once again, unsure of whether she should bring the flowers in with her or not. She walked back into the house, hands in her jacket pockets.
"Hey mom?" she called out.
She found her still in the kitchen, along with Maria who was placing things in the cupboard.
"Why are there flowers in your trunk?"
Her mother stopped stuffing the fridge and straightened to look at her daughter.
"I was going to stop by the cemetery before you arrived," she replied simply.
Carol shrugged.
"Oh, okay."
She was about to pick a bag to help with the groceries when a strange look from her mother stopped her mid-action.
"Actually, I was hoping you would come with me."
"To the cemetery?"
"Yes."
"Hum, no, I can do without a trip to the cemetery."
"Carol..."
"Seriously. I don't need to go there, at all."
"You've never visited your father's grave," her mother said, trying to remain as calm as possible.
"You know exactly why."
"And Steve? When was the last time you went to visit him?"
Carol was stunned for a moment before she walked out quickly. Her mother let out a long, drawn-out breath. Beside her, Maria sighed as well. Barely there and already making a mess.
"I'll go talk to her," she said.
Carol's mother nodded, and Maria followed Carol out. On her way to the front door, she found Monica walking down the stairs and she whispered to her:
"Go help Mrs. Danvers with the groceries."
Monica nodded and went into the kitchen.
Maria walked out of the house and looked around. She assumed Carol must have gone around the house since the car was still there and she couldn't see any sign of Carol flying away. She went around the corner, and finally saw her girlfriend, seating by the small wooden pier behind the house. She walked up to her and sat beside her, leaving just a few inches between them, so if Carol wanted to reach out, or lean against her, she could.
"I'm not changing my mind."
Maria chuckled.
"Oh, I know. Trust me, if I was capable to change your mind on anything, I would have asked Fury to put me in his 'Avengers initiative' because that is a real superpower."
Carol smiled, though her eyes remained on the calm water in front of them.
"You're damn stubborn, Danvers."
"So why are you here, then?"
"Don't be mad at your mom, okay? She just wanted some support to go to the cemetery."
"She should know I'm the last person who wants to go there. I've got nothing to say to him, and I certainly don't want to honor him with flowers. He doesn't deserve them, from me or her for that matter."
Maria nodded.
"And your brother?"
Carol fell silent once again. Maria barely remembered a time when Carol would speak of him. He'd died a year or so after they'd met. Something had shattered in her at that moment, but much like any of her feelings, Carol had shoved it aside to focus on what mattered.
"I don't remember you ever telling me how he died?" Maria tried.
She could see Carol opening up, just a bit, though she still refused to look at her.
"Lung cancer. He was twenty-four."
"Let me guess, he smoked?"
"All the freaking time. And he had asthma too. I told him to stop and he wouldn't listen, and my dad encouraged him, said it was what boys did."
Carol's voice was quickly fueled by anger. The words jumped harshly off her tongue, her eyes fixed the ocean intensely. The air around her became warmer.
"That was the last time I saw him, you know? Steve's funeral. If you'd seen the look in his eyes when he looked at me. Like all he had left was a failure. Like I was nothing to him."
Her fists were glowing at this point, and Maria feared she would burn down the pier. Instead, she pointed her hand at the ocean and unleashed a photon blast there. The shot rang loudly in the peaceful afternoon, scaring a few birds away. Water splashed everywhere, creating a massive ripple and sending waves to lap at the garden's grass. Carol let out the breath she'd been holding.
"Feeling better?" Maria finally asked.
"Not really."
"Go to the cemetery with your mother, Carol. Not for him, but for her. Mourning people is never easy, but it's better when you have people to help you through it. Believe me, I know."
Carol was about to ask her girlfriend who she'd lost since Maria still had both of her parents and had never had any siblings when it suddenly hit her. It was her, she had mourned. For six years. She'd mourned the love of her life for six goddamn years and no one was really there to help her, because no one was supposed to know.
Carol gave Maria a big hug, and Maria didn't complain that Carol's hands were still a bit too warm for comfort.
The drive to the cemetery was mostly silent and tense, with Carol staring out the window and her mother driving. They parked outside the small cemetery, and Carol silently took the two bouquets her mother handed to her. The way to the graves wasn't very long. Only, Carol suddenly came face to face with something she hadn't expected. There were three graves. One for her brother, one of her father, and one for her. She stood in front of her own grave, speechless for quite a few seconds. Here lies Captain Carol Susan Jane Danvers, 1963-1989, beloved daughter and friend.
"They told us there was nothing left of you so we buried an empty casket."
The voice of her mother seemed to bring her mind back to the present.
"I'm sorry."
"I think it would have been worse if we had buried your body. This was better. There was still a small chance that you were out there, somewhere. And you were."
Her mother placed the bouquet she was holding in front of her husband's grave. Carol, almost mechanically, placed one bouquet in front of Steve's tombstone. Then, she paused. She kind of felt ridiculous placing a bouquet on her own grave.
"Keep it," her mother said. "I'm so used to buying three I just forgot I only needed two."
Carol nodded. Her eyes fell on the group of stone-slabs once again, before stopping on hers. This epitaph was pitiful. There were a thousand things she would have imagined on her grave better than just 'beloved daughter and friend'. This was just ridiculous.
Carol continued to stare at her grave until she noticed her mother walking back to the car. She followed quickly, the hollowness in her chest becoming just a bit lighter with every step she took. She glanced one last time at the small group of tombstones, then walked away.
"Thank you for coming with me."
"Don't thank me. Thank Maria."
"I seem to owe her a lot."
Carol shrugged. She didn't really understand what her mother was saying. They climbed back into the car, Carol still holding onto the bouquet of white flowers.
"I'm glad you found someone who knows how to make you change your mind. Even I never knew how to do it."
"She's special," Carol said with a smile.
"Of course she is. You wouldn't be dating her if she wasn't."
Carol's mind went blank as her mother rolled away from the cemetery, her mouth hanging slightly open.
"Wait, you know?"
"I'm your mother, Carol. Of course, I know."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I was waiting for you to say something, but at this rate, I'll be dead before that happens! I won't even get flowers with how much you seem to like cemeteries."
Carol shook her head in disbelief.
"Well I can give you flowers in advance," she said, holding the white bouquet toward her mother.
"Keep it, give it to Maria. She deserves it more than I do for putting up with you all year," her mother teased her.
Carol's exasperated huff turned into a light giggle.