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2019-04-12
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2022-06-09
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6/?
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(Definitely Not) The SU Groupchat

Summary:

Legs: well i'm legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i'll never cheat ya!

Little Duck: biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorable

Legs: :D

Little Duck: biz

Little Duck: bizzzzzz

Little Duck: stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzz

Legs won't stop rhyming, Little Duck is her usual delightful self, and Biz should really just give up on getting people to call him 'The Business', literally no one does. So, in short, it's just another cycle in Fortuna, and a groupchat that absolutely isn't remotely connected to Solaris United. Nope. Not at all.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eudico created a chat with The Business, Little Duck, Legs, Ticker, Smokefinger, and Rude Zuud

Eudico renamed chat to Not the SU Groupchat

Eudico: have fun, I’ll be back in five

Little Duck: lmaoooo

Little Duck: love the name eudi

The Business: Is it, perhaps a little bit on the obvious side?

Little Duck: stfu its perfect

Smokefinger: to be fair, it IS a little on the neural sensors…

Legs: the taxmen are dumb, might as well have some fun :D

Smokefinger: exactly, my young compatriot. Exactly.

Legs: idk what that means but ok, ik i hope the chat name’s here to stay!

Ticker: me too Legs, it’s so obvious they won’t think it’s us :>

Smokefinger: reverse psychology!

Legs: idk what that is either uhhh sorry to bother ya

Ticker: yeah sure that

Ticker: aw you’re fine Legs you’re def not the only one

Little Duck: i just realized i legit don’t know anyone here except biz and eudi and mayyybe zuud if she actually says anything uhhh help

The Business: Please don’t call me “Biz”.

Little Duck: biz biz biz biz biz >:)

The Business: Sigh.

Ticker: Biz you do know literally no one calls you “The Business” except to your face right? it’s too much of a mouthful

Little Duck: you might have broken him lmao

Legs: well uhhh anyway i’m legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i’ll never cheat ya!

Little Duck: biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorable

Legs: :D

Little Duck: biz

Little Duck: bizzzzzz

Little Duck: stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzzzz

Ticker: well anyway, I’m Ticker :>

Ticker: officially I sell random bits of scrap

Ticker: unofficially… let’s just say I do what I can to stop repos and leave it at that

Little Duck: nice, never can go wrong there

Little Duck: so how bout you smoky

Smokefinger: uh

Little Duck: do you mind if i call you smoky cause im gonna do it anyway ask biz

Smokefinger: I do some mining, occasionally convince Tenno to do it for me because of the voiddamned quotas. nothing that interesting really. I do sell some things to them as well, though.

Ticker: lol who doesn’t sell some shit to the Tenno, really, I think we all do

Little Duck: lol yeah

Eudico: I leave for FIVE minutes

Eudico: but also, same.

Notes:

If you liked this fic, why not give my other Warframe ones a go? This fic is very, very loosely set in that universe, but it could easily take place in yours too. Or in any universe, really. Or even in canon. Y'know what, screw it, it's canon now sorry I don't make the rules. Solaris United absolutely has a group chat where they gossip about things like that one Tenno who keeps trying to get floofs but absolutely sucks at stealth. Or in other words, me. :<

Chapter 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Legs: @Little Duck uh hey

Legs: mind if I take a couple minutes outta your day?

Ticker: I was about to point out you didn’t rhyme lol

Legs: nice try, but I’m good at rhyming things on the fly :D

Little Duck: yeah legs whats up

Legs: so are you like… the Little Duck? the one that’s got the taxmen stuck?

Little Duck: lol ld is fine kid

Little Duck: and idk about the little duck

Little Duck: but idk about any other ones so ye

Legs: :o you’re so cool tho, like it’s kinda crazy y’know

Little Duck: uhhhh sure yeah

Ticker: not to interrupt but this is a groupchat

Ticker: and he’s right you know :>

Ticker: nobody knew who you were but you were right up there next to Vox, pissed off Nef so damn much. Think he still has a fairly hefty bounty out on you

Little Duck: lol i mean im not surprised

Little Duck: just blew up some shit but it was pretty important shit so

Little Duck: couldn’t have done any of it without vox tho let’s be honest here

Eudico: you definitely could’ve

The Business: Oh no, it absolutely was all Vox.

The Business: We couldn’t have done it without Vox.

Eudico: Vox wasn’t that important

Ticker: lol Vox is absolutely that important

Eudico: well I mean

Ticker: what do you have against them Eudi?? :<

Eudico: what

Eudico: nothing

Little Duck: lol

Eudico: D, I can literally see you ignoring some Tenno to type that.

Little Duck: they need to lose the rigs first

Little Duck: shit nevermind brb

Ticker: doesn’t sound like nothing, you ok? :<

Ticker: Eudi?

The Business: She blames Vox for Deck 12.

Ticker: wh

Ticker: Deck 12 wasn’t Vox’s fault!

Ticker: right?? :<

The Business: Of course not. No one could have known what was going to happen, not even Vox. But sometimes, finding someone, anyone to blame helps to cope.

Eudico: Biz.

Eudico: why.

The Business: Why not?

Eudico: I’m right here.

The Business: Good. This is something you need to hear too.

Notes:

"Eudico hates Vox" is absolutely going to be a running gag and may or may not impact some later events. As in, Eudico eventually slips up and everyone's like "lol nah can't be her, she hates Vox" and Eudi's just over here like "???ok???"

Thanks for reading, and let me know if you have any ideas for future chapters! They're much appreciated.

Chapter 3

Summary:

The Rumor Come Out: Does Biz Is Vox?

Obviously we know the answer, but not everyone here does.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ticker: anyone else curious who Vox is?

Eudico: no

Ticker: yeah we know you hate them Eudi that’s been established

Eudico: I don’t hate Vox

Ticker: sure starlight it’s ok

Eudico: I don’t.

Ticker: right, and I’m a moa.

Legs: I’m curious! She makes the taxmen furious!

Ticker: she?

Legs: o shit

Eudico: Legs!

Legs: sorry

Eudico: language!

Legs: I dunno it really, I just assumed Vox could be a he or a they

Ticker: or a she

Legs: could be?

Ticker: I think she is

Eudico: you trying to tell us something Ticker?

Ticker: what

Eudico: are you Vox?

Ticker: lol nah, you?

Ticker: Eudi?

Legs: think she went afk, getting some Tenno to ruin the taxmen’s day

Ticker: ohhh ok

Eudico: I don’t think Vox is female, could be wrong though.

Ticker: well they’ve got to be someone in SU, right?

Ticker: maybe Biz?

Eudico: I mean

Eudico: could be

Ticker: wait

Ticker: actually no, I don’t think they’re Zuud.

Ticker: is she even in this chat?

Eudico: yeah, but she’s got it muted. said something about having enough chatter to deal with already. if anything really important comes up I’ll ping her.

Ticker: could be LD

Ticker: hey @Little Duck are you Vox?

Little Duck: lmao if i was i wouldnt tell you

Little Duck: personally i think vox is biz

Ticker: @The Business well?

Ticker: Biz?

Little Duck: biz

The Business: What.

Ticker: are you Vox?

The Business: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.

Ticker: so you’re Vox

The Business: No.

Eudico: you hesitated

Notes:

If you squint really hard you might catch a hint of my big Fortuna rarepair. I might write a fic between them someday. But that day is not today... :< someday.

Chapter 4

Summary:

I might be projecting a bit onto Little Duck here. Just a bit. Also, did you want the ventkids? Because they're here! (Through no fault of LD's, of course.)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Little Duck: so does anyone actually know our mates name right outside fortuna

Little Duck: the one always saying he doesnt miss his organics

Little Duck: cause for one thing thats relatable af its cold as balls out here

Little Duck: but also he knows my name and i feel like i should know his

Eudico: first off, what in the Void were you doing out there??

Little Duck: chatting with boon

Little Duck: he and roky want in to this chat btw dunno how they found out about it

Eudico: I’ll consider it

Eudico: but also, D, are you serious? You don’t know his name?

Little Duck: im bad with names ok

Little Duck: like it took me two years to figure out yours

Eudico: it WHAT

Little Duck: why do you think i use nicknames for everyone eudi

Smokefinger: do you remember my name?

Little Duck: its literally on the screen

Little Duck: so ye

Smokefinger: and I for one, vote for letting Roky and Boon in this chat. I might actually get some mucking sleep!

The Business: If it’s between getting no sleep from their music or getting no sleep from chat notifications, I’m with Smokefinger.

Ticker: lol I thought you liked skeg, Biz :<

The Business: Certainly not in the middle of a night-cycle when I’m trying to sleep!

Ticker: ...you have a point

Eudico: mates, you do realize I’m the only one who can actually let them in, right?

Eudico: convince me.

Legs: aww, you should let them in! Then I won’t be the youngest person :<

Eudico: I

Eudico: you know what, fine.

Eudico added Roky , Boon to Not the SU Groupchat

Smokefinger: I sincerely doubt either of them will be logging in for a time, their… skeg, is it? Is very, very loud currently.

Boon: howzit!

Smokefinger: I stand corrected.

Smokefinger: Actually, I sit corrected.

Ticker: lol

Eudico: out of… curiosity, how did you and Roky find out about this chat?

Boon: oooo, this is THE chat?

Roky: ye, Duck told us

Eudico: ...D.

Little Duck: oh would you look at the time ive got a meeting with a friend in cetus better clock it

Boon: bye Duck!

Notes:

I definitely didn't have this chapter sitting around for a while. Nope. In my defense, I had to make a decision on whether I wanted to make this for sure in the same canon as my other fics or ambiguous enough that it could take place in anyone's canon.

I went for the latter, so you'll notice it's not a part of my Warframe series anymore. Not officially, anyway, although you should absolutely read my other Warframe fics anyway. And I might add it back in anyway, we'll see. :>

Chapter 5

Summary:

In which I have no excuse for how long this has been sitting in my drive unposted except that I've been super busy. Also, Ticker falls for Eudico. In a literal sense, and not in a shippy sense, although my rarepair senses are tingling again.

Also, I love Zuud.

Chapter Text

Ticker: @Little Duck just so you know, our mate Biz is currently sweet talking a virmink one of the Tenno brought in and Void, it’s adorable

Little Duck: you say that like he doesnt do that pretty damn often

Ticker: ...true

Eudico: take a vid

Ticker: without him seeing me? Eudi, Ticker’s astounding and she knows it but we both know I’m not that subtle.

Little Duck: says the cove smuggling out more these days than i am and im the actual rail agent

Ticker: that’s different!

Ticker: and ok I might be able to skew it, he seems pretty distracted but he’s not THAT distracted… :<

Eudico: lean over the top? Biz never looks up. bit of a problem back in the day.

Little Duck: lol yeah i think i still have the footage of the time a taxmen squad got beamed in on top of him

Ticker: that sounds priceless

Eudico: you do?

Little Duck: void yes i do

Eudico: send it to me.

Little Duck: on it

Ticker: send it my way too, just won’t be able to watch it for a bit. this surprisingly isn’t the most awkward position I’ve been in to take a vid.

Eudico: sounds like there’s a story behind that one.

Ticker: oh there is, hun, you’re not getting it tho :>

Ticker: and shit, Legs sees me

Little Duck: oof

Legs: uhhh 

Legs: what the

Little Duck: shes taking a vid

Legs: of Biz? what did I miss?

Little Duck: ill send you it kid

Legs: :D can’t see Biz from over here, what’s going on? should I be scared?

Little Duck: not really just dont make it obvious if you do look

Legs: OH

Legs: do you think he’ll let me pet it? No?

Little Duck: probably but dont ask now

Eudico: if he lets you pet the virmink, let me know. He still hasn’t let me touch one of them after… actually, we’re not talking about that right now.

Ticker: Eudi, you can’t say that and not spill.

Eudico: I can, I am, and stop texting while filming.

Ticker: it’s called multitas

Eudico: Ticker?

Ticker: MUCKIN VOID ABORT ABORT

The Business: @Ticker What exactly are you doing?

Ticker: nothing currently, I tripped. Fine now. Why do you ask?? :>

The Business: ...no reason. Please try to keep your balance in the future. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to return to.

Little Duck: work

Little Duck: right

Eudico: well if he’s not calling you out on that, he’s definitely not in the chat right now. we’re safe. probably. 

Little Duck: ticks do you have it

Ticker: what do you think, D? :>

Little Duck: void yes

Ticker: I’ll drop it by in a few, gonna run it by Legs and Eudi first.

Rude Zuud: send it to me too.

Little Duck: wait zuud i thought you had notifications off

Rude Zuud: i do.

Rude Zuud: i was curious about what kind of idiocy led ticker to fall off the upper level.

Ticker: not really idiocy so much as… actually I’m not even gonna try and deny that one. :>

Rude Zuud: fine, WE were curious! just. just send me a muckin copy ok. 

Rude Zuud: US. FINE.

Little Duck: will do

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eudico: do the rest of you lot ever wonder where we’d be if the Tenno hadn’t turned up when they did?

Eudico: because I do

Eudico: I don’t think I’ve ever stopped wondering to be honest.

Eudico: SU is working this time around. It’s actually working out. And yet all I can think of is, when’s the kubrodon going to pounce? when’s the rig gonna short out?

Eudico: …I’d like to think that they could take down an Orb Mother, if it comes to that. I really would.

Eudico: but I thought the old SU could, too. I thought we could do anything.

Eudico: and then Exploiter happened.

Eudico: and I won’t lie, I’m terrified that it will happen again. That Nef will decide it’s more trouble than it’s worth to bargain with Vox again and send Exploiter in, and not even the Tenno will be able to stop him.

Eudico: I can’t let this happen to Fortuna again. Not on my life, whatever little it’s worth.

Ticker: …hi, Eudi

Eudico: …….hi

Ticker: ……………….I’m not questioning your judgment being up at this hour, love, but please don’t think so little of yourself?

Ticker: you’ve done so much for SU. You’ve done so much for Fortuna, and for every Solaris on Venus.

Eudico: please. any old mucker with a grudge could have done the same things I did, and there’s no shortage of those in Fortuna

Ticker: true

Ticker: but love, you’re the one who did it all. You’re the one who’s still doing it all.

Ticker: personally I think that counts for a lot more than could-have-beens and maybes.

Eudico: what are you doing up?

Ticker: couldn’t sleep. rig charger is on the fritz, been meaning to get a new one for a while but it isn’t as if there aren’t others who need that far more than I do.

Eudico: …yes, but you need to take care of yourself too you know

Eudico: you won’t be any help to anyone if you can barely function

Ticker: love, a couple nights here and there is nothing to worry about. I’m fine, but I appreciate the worry.

Ticker: I’m glad I WAS awake, if only because it means you had someone to talk to other than your personal devils.

Eudico: …I was going to delete my messages before anyone else woke up

Ticker: okay, but that is legitimately worse

Ticker: you do get how that’s worse, love?

Eudico: is it? That way, I get my thoughts out without burdening anyone else with them.

Ticker: love, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the way you’re talking it sounds like you blame yourself more than NEF for Deck 12

Ticker: void, I remember Biz saying that you blamed Vox for what happened, but. That’s not quite it, is it

Ticker: you blame yourself, not Vox. Don’t you

Eudico: there is plenty of blame to go around. Why limit myself

Ticker: stars. Okay. What happened wasn’t your fault, see? It wasn’t Vox’s either, for that matter.

Eudico: how could you know that? You weren’t there.

Ticker: because the way you’re talking, you’d think you piloted that Orb yourself, and I know that’s not possible

Eudico: I may as well have. You have no idea how badly I mucked things up.

Ticker: no, I don’t, and I see I’m not going to get anywhere with the past. Fortunately, I don’t have to, ‘cause it’s the PAST.

Ticker: what’s happened, has happened. There’s no changing that, no matter how hard you want to

Ticker: but you can do so much with the present. Without SU’s support, and without you, I’m sure Ticker’s little operation would’ve gone under long ago.

Ticker: but together, we’ve saved so many people, and we’re going to keep on doing it.

Ticker: maybe it will end in fire and death again. And if it does, I’ll be proud to have gone out fighting alongside you, saving what we could. That means something.

Ticker: but I doubt it will end that way. If even a quarter of what I’ve heard about the Tenno is true, they’d be able to handle an Orb, easy.

Eudico: they’re not immortal.

Ticker: I mean… they might be?

Ticker: not the point. You should be proud of yourself for what you’re doing now, Eudi. And if you can’t be, that’s fine.

Ticker: I can be plenty proud for the both of us, love, until you’re ready. :)

Eudico: …thanks. May be crying a bit. Think I needed that.

Ticker: anytime! I’m happy to help out. We all lift together, don’t we, love?

Notes:

hi I haven’t played Warframe in years, or hadn’t. then I got dragged back in by the polycule (affectionate) and if you’d told me I was going to be writing Warframe fanfic in 2022 that wasn’t the crossover that Flamesong and I have been working on for just as long I would have laughed.

(here is the aforementioned crossover if any of y’all are interested. it involves the Fortuna folks of SU and some others in the world of RWBY, where they all fit surprisingly neatly. the sequel, still a work in progress, follows the Grineer instead of the Corpus.)

sup y’all. I dunno how much longer I’ll be playing again for this time but Fortuna will always have a special place in my heart and I know the New War did SOMETHING to it so like. I gotta know what they did to my emotional support rebellion. What Did They Do and will it prompt me to write fanfic as much as sitting around waiting for fish to spawn did.

(anyway, if you spoil the New War in the comments your kneecaps are mine. Do Not. I have so much catching up to do. Thanks for reading!)